emperortopaz's Blog

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This is the Three-hundredth-seventy-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz is standing in a studio-like room with bars and mirrors on the wall.*

Welcome back everyone. As you can see I'm here in the idol-hopefuls club. Though it seems that it may be too easy to become an idol these days as this room is completely empty.

*A tumbleweed rolls through the room.*

Well, I mean other than me. I just hope that the girl I was expecting comes soon.

*A door opens with a loud creak.*

???: O-OH! I didn't mean to open that so loudly!

Sounds like this week's girl is here.

???: Is someone actually using this place? I was expecting it to empty and was coming here for nostalgia's sake. Plus I wanted to meet some new teacher or something.

That's me!

???: I see then. I don't know why you want to interview someone like me... My fellow idols would be much more enjoyable to talk about.

Nonsense as you're a great girl! You deserve as much credit as the other two! I will mention that it is sort of hard to talk to you through the doorway. I would like it if you actually entered the room.

???: Sorry sorry! I was being a bit too cautious, sorry I'm so stupid.

Don't be so humble, you're a great girl!

???: A-alright then... Here I come...

*The girl enters the room.*

: I am Uzuki Shimamura!

Welcome!

: Thank you. Ahhhh, it's nice to be back to where the Producer first saw me.

I figured you'd like this relaxed environment.

: I do! Now, what was it you wanted to interview me for?

Well, it's more of a blog that only one person reads.

: I guess that's more than I deserve...

*She sighs, but Topaz points to her.*

Nonsense! You just have to stand out more!

: What do you mean?

There's obviously something special about you! Something you can't see!

: Ehh? Are you talking about my smile? Producer said the same thing.

No, what I mean is-

???: Your BUTT obviously!

*A tall white haired girl enters through a window.*

Couldn't you enter normally?

: When have I been one to do something the "normal" way? Though it was fortunate that my large posterior was able to fit through the frame...

: T-T-T-TAKANE SHIJOU!

: In the meaty stinky flesh.

I wasn't going to say anything if you weren't...

: You're like a legend for any idolmaster girls! I could only wish to be half as popular as you are!

: Fufufu. I appreciate the kind words, but it wasn't just my own hard work, sweat, and gas that made me what I am today!

: I see-er, gas?

: Don't interrupt. What I'm trying to do is invite you into my secret society, the one who made me who I am today!

: REALLY? What production company is that?

: It's not the company, but rather a little-known group. It goes by the name "Ancient Secret Society of Immeasurable Extremities".

Huh. Surprising that I've never heard about these "ASSIE girls".

: Shows do everything they can to try and silence us. However, someday I'm sure that there will be an uprising. For that we need girls like YOU, Uzuki.

: Eh? What can I do?

: Nothing yet. But once we do the secret initiations you'll be a powerful "ASSIE girl".

: I'm not sure I understand...

: Don't worry. All you have to do is face some other "ASSIE girls" in mortal combat.

: That sounds dangerous!

Or gaming-related!

: Many have failed in our trials, but I know that you'll do well. Now, equip this traditonal outfit.

*Takane hands Uzuki a certain piece of clothing."

Eh? A fundoshi? That sounds like a traditional outfit.

: You make a very good point, but for now this item of clothing is much more fitting for our dear Uzuki.

*Uzuki holds it up, showing that it's a red buruma.*

: I can't possibly fit my a-er, my b-bottom into this!

: Do not fret, I'll help you get into it. Topaz!

Yes?

: You begin the blog while I'm doing this. It'll help distract you as I change Uzuki in the other room.

Well, first I want to ask Uzuki if I can do my blog on her this week.

: Kind of late to ask now...

: I s-suppose so. But it's alright, even if I wasn't backed into a corner I'd allow it. If I didn't want to I wouldn't have came here, after all.

That's a good point, which is convenient because...



And she's also Zettai's girl this week!

: Believe me, he needs all the cheering up he can get.

: Anime is awful! That's not a blanket statement, just that he had to endure far too many terrible shows recently...

True, and I'm very thankful that he did such a thing for me. But enough delays, time to begin the blog! And I'll see you two later.

*Uzuki and Takane nod as they head into a nearby room to change.*

Head
Hair: Uzuki has pretty good hair. The color of her hair, while not as dark as Rin's, is a nice brown color and is fairly dark on its own. Length wise Uzuki's hair is perfect for what she is, going to her shoulder blades or upper-back. This means that her hair won't get in the way of buttshots, even if she didn't have too many in the actual anime. It's also nice and wavy, to the point where the bottom of her hair almost looks curled into drills. She has a part in her bangs above her right eye, and the rest of her bangs seem to be swept to the left in a bit of a curve. She has a long middle bang though it isn't as noticeable as other girls as that bang doesn't reach her eyes let alone her nose. Her sides are nice and long, though they don't always cover her ears. Style-wise Uzuki occasionally has a side ponytail, which sadly is something I'm not a big fan of, or she'll have buns in her hair. Everyone loves seeing Uzuki's buns in back!

*Uzuki, who is overhearing in the other room, speaks up.*

: I hope you mean my hair!

Perhaps. Anyway, as good as Uzuki's hair is, the fancy style that's not to my liking is what lowers her score here. She needs to have her hair down more so that we can enjoy the wavy-ness.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Uzuki has nice, if a bit plain, brown eyes. Luckily they match her hair so she gets a bit of help there. Her eyes are also a tarame, which while fitting doesn't appeal to me as much. They do fit her very well though, and it helps that the anime gives her a lot of emotion with them. Sadly unlike Haruka Uzuki doesn't wear glasses as a disguise. And of course, we know which “brown eye” is Zettai's favorite.

: Eh? There's a difference between my eyes? Is the left? Right?

: I think he'd like to take the third option.

Right!

: I see... So he prefers my right eye for some reason...

: This feels like it could go to a punny place Topaz. Continue with the blog. Before the jokes become terrible!

Sounds good to me!
Grade: B

Face: Uzuki is in the “Cute” idol category. And sure, she is pretty cute. Sadly she really doesn't do anything extraordinary in this area. That said the art of the series as a whole is good for me. This means that Uzuki has small features, including her nose. As the Producer said a lot of Uzuki's appeal is in her constant smile. It just looks so joyful, which really does a good contrast with her depressed moments near the end of the second season.
Grade: B-

: We're back!

*Takane and Uzuki emerge from the other room. Uzuki is fidgeting, pulling her gym shirt down and trying to hide her buruma.*

: I can't believe that you were able to get these buruma on me! They're so.. ergh.. tight!

: True. Just look Topaz-

*Takane bends Uzuki over, exposing her buruma wedged between her buttcheeks. The brown haired idol blushes from the embarrassing position.*

: The buruma is wedged right up in there!

: N-no! Don't look at my exposed butt!

: Now now, to truly become an "ASSIE girl" you must learn to appreciate the buttocks. For they are a thing of beauty!

I agree! Though I just thought of something. Hopefully Zettai doesn't mind you returning for a third year during his homage blog.

: I'm sure he loves my butt any time I appear. But do not worry, I won't be stealing Uzuki's thunder. Right, THUNDERBUM?

*Takane smacks Uzuki's jiggly butt.*

: N-NO!

: Because it feels bad..?

: It feels good, alright? But it's so embarrassing! Can't I just get to the ASSIE initiation you talked about while we were changing?

ASSIE initiation?

: Right, like I mentioned before. It just involves a battle between the hopeful and a few of the other ASSIE members.

: I hope it's an idol contest. At least then I'd have a chance for victory. At least a small one...

: You won't get anywhere with that kind of attitude! Be optimistic, though I do suppose that staying humble is important as well.

Sounds confusing.

: It is quite the balancing act. But here comes the first adversary, Uzuki!

*A hime cut ponytail samurai girl enters the idol hopeful club. She too is wearing a gym uniform with red buruma.*

: H-hello? Is this the right place?

: Ah, Yukie Mayuzumi. Just the girl I was expecting.

: Oh, Takane-sama. It's good to see you. Did you find that new friend you were going to introduce me to?

: I did, this here is Uzuki! She's an idol like me!

: Like you? She looks about my size though...

: I don't mean like that. But since you two are evenly matched I figured that you would be a good warm-up for Uzuki.

: W-warm up?

: Certainly! Now just stand here, back to back... Good.

*Takane positions Uzuki and Yukie so that their bottoms are pressed together.*

: BUTTLERS, ARE YOU READY?

: Eh? Buttlers?

: Yes. We shall participate in butt sumo, as the ancestors once did.

: A-alright then.

: GO!

*Yukie starts off strong, pressing her 87 cm butt against Uzuki's equally-sized bottom. She nearly knocks Uzuki back just from the first impact, but she holds her ground. Their buttcheeks ripple as the burumas strain to contain their meaty buttocks. After a few minutes of buttjiggling Yukie is starting to get tired.*

: Pant pant. You idols seem to have surprisingly high stamina.

: You too.... *pant pant.* B-but Topaz thinks I have some thing SPECIAL!

*Uzuki pushes Yukie so that both of her cheeks push against one of Yukie's. This unbalances the black-haired samurai and she faceplants on the ground in front. Luckily she isn't harmed.*

: Owwww... That sure surprised me.

: You were a tough competitor too.

*Uzuki offers a hand to Yukie, helping her former opponent up.*

: You are exactly the type of ASSIE girl we need. Honorable yet strong, like a true samurai!

: I'm not that great...

*Uzuki looks down and kicks her foot slightly.*

: Taking down one of the ASSIE girls in buttsumo is something to be proud of!

: I agree! If only I had eaten more good food to make my butt grow. It's too late for this time, but when we next meet. And I will say that I am only the third strongest ASSIE girl you'll have to face today.

: EHHH? I'm going to need a rest between matches then!

: Don't worry. We don't expect you to go from one buttle to the next without some time to breathe. Besides, the next girl isn't even here yet.

: Maybe Topaz can continue with my blog in the meantime...

: Good idea-HEY! Stop playing your 3DS!

But I need to grind every chance I get! Stupid escalation battles stealing all my stupid coins.

: I HOPE you at least saw the epic battle!

BUTT OF COURSE! You expect me to miss out on something like that? I was just quiet and didn't want to interrupt.

: Fair point. Such holy ASSIE rituals shouldn't be interrupted.

: Wait... Are you the “Emperortopaz”?

That's what people call me! And I don't feel the need to correct them.

: Ah. Here you go then.

*Yukie hands Topaz an envelope.*

: I stopped by the game-and-kendo club and apparently you're supposed to sub there next week.

Sounds like fun. I wonder what girl I'll see there.

: One that's better than me, no doubt...

: Poppycock, you're a great girl!

Exactly! And to prove it I'll continue with the blog!

: It seems that I won't be needed any longer. I shall see you some other time, and I hope that you do well and get into ASSIE, Uzuki.

: I shall try my hardest!

*Yukie leaves as the others say their goodbyes.*

Body: If you haven't noticed, Uzuki has a certain memetic body part that I'm dying to mention. But first we should follow tradition and say her measurements first. Uzuki is 159 cm tall and 45 kg, and her three sizes are 83-59-87. If, by just the measurements, you're still not sure what Uzuki's main asset is I'll tell you: It's her BUTT! Uzuki's rear somehow got a lot of memetic butt images, helped by one of her first cards showing her buruma butt. Her measurements also help, but while size-wise she's a great girl I wouldn't mind if her butt stuck out a bit more to look more meaty. Maybe if her waist was smaller it would look that way. That said, Uzuki having a memetic butt is important as there's so few butt-girls in series. There's even a moment in the first season where she buttsumos Kanako, though sadly it's only a still image as part of a montage. Still, I wonder if that moment was a nod to the fans. And even that still image is better than how they ruined Takane so much, especially in the movie. Sadly the rest of Uzuki's build isn't as impressive (not that it needs to be, but still). Her legs aren't that shapely, and as said before it would have been nice had they made her waist smaller to bring out her butt more. Oh, I suppose I should mention the second season's opening does have a few shots of Uzuki's bare feet and that includes one close up. While I'm not a major foot person, I couldn't help noticing her feet looking nice at these times.
Grade: B+

Breasts: As said previously Uzuki has a chest of 83, making her butt 4 cm bigger (which is a fine size). The problem that occurs is that fanart, and some official cards no less, still make Uzuki bustier than she should be. She's about average, not being busty but she's not flat either. The artists really need to realize that Uzuki is a butt girl and focus on THAT.
Grade: C

Clothes: Uzuki, like many idols, has a lot of outfits. The main one she's usually in is her school uniform that consists of a light brown blazer and red plaid pleated skirt. The blazer has a crest on the right chest, and she also wears a red bow tie. Sadly she does not wear any special legwear like thighhighs or pantyhose. In the show she wears a lot of various idol outfits for her performances. She also wears a white sun dress in that opening I mentioned before. She also wears a pink shirt with purple sleeve-stripes and purple pants to train in. Also mentioned before one of her most memetic outfits is a gym uniform with red buruma, though sadly this wasn't used in the anime (that I remember). Other card outfits include a fancy wedding dress-like princess gown, a sukumizu, a fluffy yukata, both a black and lighter blue variety of maid outfit, a red-striped white bikini with shirt, winter coat with red scarf for New Years, a couple of cat-ears, and what appears to be an open-front cheerleader outfit. And that brings me to the biggest problem with Uzuki's wardrobe: It's like they don't know what to do with a butt girl. I don't blame them as a lot of companies have that problem, but they are screwing it up by giving her neckties or cleavage shots! That's the exact opposite of what they should be doing! She should have things like thongs or similar things, at least have her bikinis or the sukumizu be shown from behind or something! I know it's not a fanservice series, or at least compared to the DxD and Senran card games, but when those two franchises show off butts better than you that should be an obvious warning sign xD. Oh, and I should mention that in the Granblue crossover she wears a pink and white ruffled dress with matching shirt, a decorated sheathe and sword, and red cape with patterns at the bottom. She also has a cute tiara too.
Grade: B+

???: Hello? Did I finally reach the right place?

*A tall blonde girl in a black outfit enters.*

F-FATE?!

: That is I.

What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting a magical girl.

: ASSIE girls come in all shapes and sizes. Okay, so preferably pear-shaped, but still.

: Are you the one I have to face next?

: You are correct. I hope you have recovered from your previous buttle.

: I-I think I have!

That's it Uzuki! Be more confident!

: I'll try my best!

: Seeing Uzuki be this confident fills me with determination! Now, buttlers, take your positions!

*Now that she knows what to do Uzuki gets in position. However, seeing Fate's miracle butt fills her with dread.*

: Oh no! It's huge!

: Thank you. But do not sell yourself short. In fact, due to your large backside I shall use my Sonic form!

*Fate's outfit transforms into a thong, her jiggly buttcheeks showing off well.*

: Nice jiggle!

: Thanks! Much better than any other horrible part jiggling!

I agree, that's better left to Signum for me.

: I think Zettai can live with that. But prepare yourself, Uzuki!

*Fate presses her fat butt tight against Uzuki's butt. Her flabby cheeks nearly envelop the idol's hips, but Uzuki keeps standing.*

: Urgh... Argh...

: Looks like Uzuki is really getting sweaty after all this pushing!

Bet it's really rank too, especially her crack!

*Fate nearly pushes Uzuki out using only her huge rippling butt.*

: I've almost got you...

: There has to be something I can.. Ergh... I can't-I can't hold any longer! AH!

FFFFWWWRRRREERRRTT

*Uzuki lets out an un-idol like visible fart. This pushes Fate back slightly, the smell causing her face to cringe.*

: N-no! The smell! It's even worse than mine!

*Fate loses the feeling in her legs and falls forward.*

: Congrats, Uzuki!

: But I did something that should obviously be unfair!

: It's perfectly within the rules. “ASSIE girls can use any part of their butts, including flatulence, to win”

*Takane even takes out a book, putting on thick-framed glasses to read.*

Looking good! Er, wait. Isn't this your handwriting?

: You're quite suspicious. There's no way an ancient ritual like this would be created by me. That would be ridiculous! Or RidiCULOus!

That's fair. But congrats, Uzuki!

*Uzuki helps Fate up, as she did Yukie before.*

: Thanks for that. But do not think I will be as easy the next time we battle. I'll be sure to eat a spicy dinner and use Erio's favorite spell! I've never lost when I've done that!

: Indeed, Fate has the nickname of “Miracle” among the ASSIE girl world!

I can see why!

: Though I should be getting back to him. I have to make dinner in a naked apron and tease him a lot.

I'm jealous!

: Fufufu, you're so silly.

: Have a pleasant trip then!

: I won't make your defeat be in vain, Fate!

: That's good to hear, but I should warn you that you still have the queen of the ASSIE girls to battle!

I hope it's not Lunar again.

: Oh you and your references. But you might want to continue with the blog, Topaz. I have a feeling that the queen may be closer than you might think!

That seems suspicious, but I shall finish up Uzuki's blog as promised!

*Fate waves and the others wave back as she flies off.*



Mind
Personality: Uzuki is quite the extraordinary ordinary girl. Really, she's so average it has become a major point of hers. She's often in the middle exam-wise and sports-wise, and has never pulled anything other than “average Good Luck” in seventeen years. Unfortunately this means she falls behind once her fellow New Generations idols Rin and Mio make it big. She becomes depressed at not being able to keep up, but even that was one fairly well. “I'll do my best” is her catchphrase, though during her depression she uses it as a fake cheer, her heart not being in it. Fortunately she starts working with another group. Far before that, in the beginning, she was also the last remaining member of a training course before the Producer came to her. She is also a big fan of idols and jumped at the opportunity. According to the games her specialty is either “dance” or, more likely, “Visual” (the first is only seen in her first DLC appearance and only as an enemy). Her image color is a nice soft pink and her hobby is talking on the phone with friends. She also became popular by not being popular. By that I mean that she didn't get many new cards yet was a starting character in the game. As a result a lot of people felt pity for her and she quickly became popular, even getting cards since. She's also very bright and positive, a lot like Haruna, but Uzuki also shows a lot of spirit and dedication to being an idol.
Uzuki is voiced by Ayaka Ohashi, who gives her a nice sweet and not too high-pitched voice. I will say that she performs Uzuki's image song “S(mile)ING!” really well, and the lyrics of not standing out among others but still working hard and loving what you're doing really shows Uzuki's spirit. While Uzuki does get lost in the shuffle sometimes for me, I do like her even if she's not one of my favorites. I really appreciate her trying so hard to reach her dream of becoming an idol and being a great friend, but I would also like to see more to her as well.
Grade: B-

Libido: Sadly this is Uzuki's poorest area. Not because of anything in particular, but more because she's lacking a lot of interaction in this way. About the only male she's around is the Producer and he seems to not be interested in this sort of thing. I do suppose that she could have yuri with her group mates Rin and Mio, but nothing that I recall would affect her in any way. It seems to me that she's a pure-type of girl without much interest here.
Grade: C

Age: Uzuki is surprisingly a nice age. She's seventeen, which is just short of getting a proper “A” rank. Her birthday is April 24th, if wondering, and I'm not sure if the story of the anime goes over that date.
Grade: A-

Total Grades: 70
Average score: 7.8
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: I'm not sure if that's a good score or not...

: B's are Topaz's most common score, but that doesn't mean that you're bad. If anything that's more than I had expected. Though I will say that I scored far higher than that.

: I knew it... I'm too average...

Nonsense! You might not be exactly to my liking, but you're still a great girl that deserves celebration!

: Right, and your giant posterior is what made me consider you for ASSIE!

: R-really? My butt is that impressive?

To be fair it could stand out a bit more and be shown off, but indeed!

: Thank you both, it means so m-wait a minute... Why did YOU say you considered me, Takane?

: Ufufufu. While it may have been obvious, I am indeed the QUEEN of ASSIE!

*Takane continues her ojou laugh.*

: Oh no! That means that I'll have to face you in buttle!

Talk about a size difference! You'll never be able to beat those final boss-sized buttcheeks!

: M-maybe... NO! I can't give up here! I-I'll do my best!

: That's the spirit, now let's get in position!

*Uzuki and Takane press their big butts together.*

: Annnnd GO!

*Uzuki and Takane buttsumo, their flabby cheeks rippling against the other.*

: Urgh... Arghh... She's so strong!

: Ufufufu, this is the true power of the moon goddess's butt!

*She pushes the smaller idol's butt more.*

: EEK!

What's wrong?

: I'm pretty sure that the buruma wedged up deep between my cheeks!

: How lucky, though I bet that it still feels my massive and smelly tushie all over it!

: Eh?

: N-nothing!

Quick, Uzuki! Use the ability you learned in Fate's battle!

: But that's embarrassing!

Use the force, Uzuki!

: Who do you think you are, a jedi?

: H-here goes... Uurrrgh...

*She presses her stomach, which rumbles.*

PPPPPRRRRRRRTTT

*Uzuki then rips one, jiggling both her and Takane's butts.*

: Pardon me...

: Is that the best you can do?

: EHH? She's uneffected!

: I eat gas like that for breakfast! Well, not literally as I eat ramen, but you get the point. Now THIS will be a real one!

BBBWWWUUUURRRTT-FFWWWAAWWRRRT

*Takane fills the room with toxic gas.*

The stench! Urgh, blech....

*Topaz faints from the smell.*

: Oh no, the club leader!

: Leave him, and concentrate on your ASSIE battle!

*The two continue their battle, with lots of great close-up of their buttcheeks.*

: URGH... If I don't end it now Takane will make ME faint as well!

: Fufufu, what? Is my stench getting to you?

: Yes, it's quite f-foul.

: Thanks, I had a few bowls of super-spicy ramen on the way over.

: Be that as it may, I may have an idea!

: W-what?

*Uzuki moves her hips inward a bit. This makes Takane lose her balance as she was pushing so hard.*

: Uwawawa?

*Uzuki then pushes her hips back, knocking Takane forward. She lands safely on her front.*

: Curses! If only I had a modest top half like you do!

: D-does this mean what I think it does?

: Certainly! Congrats for being our newest member of ASSIE, Uzuki!

: I'm so proud, I think!

: Let us bring in a new generation of ASSIE!

: That sounds familiar.

: Good you got the reference then. Let's go meet with the other members, though of course after you change out of that.

: Thanks! I'm pretty sure that I tore a hole in it with all my f-farts.

: Don't worry. It may be the traditional buruma of battle, but I'm sure it'll be just fine the next time it will have to be used.

: I don't understand...

: I'll explain on the way. You see, because you're a member of ASSIE...

*Takane continues to talk with her hand on Uzuki's shoulder, leading her new member out. After a short time Ririchiyo shows up.*

: I just saw this week's blog girl with Takane! I also saw Yukie and Fate, so I'm guessing that the blog went well.

*Topaz finally comes to and starts to get up.*

I can only hope so, as it's all for Zettai and his opinion will say if it was good or not.

: I hope so. Hey, did we get any clues to next week's girl?

Just that she belongs to the Game-and-kendo club.

: Huh. Sounds like it should be a girl who likes swords and video games. Wonder who it could be...

I guess that you, and my readers will have to find out next time!

: *completely monotone* The anticipation is killing me...

Don't die!

: I won't! Sheesh, you take things so seriously.

Anime Relations: Accel World, Accel World: Acchel World., Accel World EX

This is the Three-hundredth-forty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Riri are exploring a game land. However, Riri is much taller than the even shorter than normal Topaz.*

Welcome back everyone. As you can see we're currently in a game world. I decided that after all the activity we could use some cooling down.

: I can't believe that you were able to convince me to play this ridiculous game... Pervert.

What are you talking about?

: Isn't it obvious?

*The camera zooms out to reveal that Topaz is currently butt-high to Ririchiyo. Not only that but her buttocks have become twice as large as normal, nearly globular in size.*

: YOU CALL THIS NORMAL?

I see nothing wrong with that. In fact...

*Topaz smiles perversely.*

: Stop staring!

*Topaz spanks Riri's inflated buttocks, causing them to jiggle.*

: Ah~ T-TOPAZ! Stop that!

Fiiinnneee.... But anyway don't you want to fight some monsters?

: You haven't explained this game at all.

Oh, it's quite easy. You just use your butt to grind against creatures.

: ...Really?

Yeah! Can you believe that Zettai was able to send me a copy?

: Why am I not surprised. But then again this IS his early birthday blog so I'll give him SOME leeway. What should I do first?

*An innocent frog leaps into the battle.*

How about try it out on that?

: I guess. Let's see here... POSTERIOR IMPACT!

*Ririchiyo leaps into the air and lands butt-first on the virtual frog. It dies as her impact even causes a small crater. That said the frog smiled the whole time and spits out three gold coins.*

: All that work and all I get are three coins?

Don't worry, those are worth 10 gold apiece!

: The economy is odd.

No no no. The drops just LOOK like three coins. That's just how the game works.

: I see then. Then what should I try fighting next?

*A thin tree with a tree-like face and branch arms emerges.*

This one looks tougher, you'd better watch out!

*It throws a spank, jiggling Riri's buttcheeks further and causing some damage.*

: OW! My Hit points!

I think you mean your HIP points!

: That is a horrible joke and-... *takes a look* that's actually what they're called *sighs*. Well, let's get this over with-GRINDING STROKE!

*Ririchiyo carefully places the wood creature between her buttcheeks and slides up and down. The wood creature becomes enfatuated and stops attacking!*

Faster! Faster!

: Pervert! But it does seem to be working...

*She rubs so fast that the wood creature starts to shake and dies, blasting sap out of the top of his head. He also drops out three coins.*

: Man, I'm glad that I didn't get a splinter from that wood.

Right, that's one of the few things that I wouldn't use my mouth to take out of your butt.

: Oh yeah, you're weird with splinters, aren't you.

Of course. Though talking about your butt sure gives ME wood...

*He fondles Riri's giant buttcheeks.*

: Ahhh~ S-stop that this instant!

*Topaz obeys.*

: Well, at least we're getting money from this. But what do YOU do?

I'm just here to aid you in PVP. Also called BVB in this game because-

: You don't need to tell me the dumb acronyms, I can figure out that means BUTT VS. BUTT.

Exactly. But are you interested?

: Sorta, but I can't think of any self respecting woman that would play a game like this.

???: You thought wrong!

*A voice comes from behind Riri and Topaz. They turn to find a very coincidental girl...*

Anime Relations: iDOLM@STER Xenoglossia, The iDOLM@STER Live For You!, The iDOLM@STER, The iDOLM@STER: 765 Pro to Iu Monogatari, The iDOLM@STER Shiny Festa, Puchimas!: Petit iDOLM@STER, Puchimas!: Petit iDOLM@STER Episode 0, The iDOLM@STER Movie: Kagayaki no Mukougawa e!, Puchimas!: Petit iDOLM@STER - Takatsuki Gold Densetsu Special!! Haruka-san Matsuri, Puchimas!!: Petit Petit iDOLM@STER

This is the Three-hundredth-twenty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are standing in front of a familiar building. That building is the 765 Productions office.*

Well, we're here again...

: Remind me, why are we at an idol's production company?

We're here for Zettai's homage blog!

: I know that reason, doofus! (y-you aren't a doofus, Topaz. Sorry I lash out) I meant the OTHER reason. You know, because you forgot to tell our readers why we came here.

OH! You're right, Riri. We're here because last week Makoto, who was a knight of the Chessmasters, told us to come here. Seems that this is where Left Rook was last seen.

: And don't forget to tell them why are we looking for Left Rook in particular.

We're looking for the Savior Saver. Or something like that.

: Good. Now we can enter. Luckily I had the bright idea to call ahead for a reservation.

*Ririchiyo looks proud and Topaz pats her head.*

And I looked around for holes in the ground and have ramen to bribe any puchis that get in the way.

: Go planning ahead, this is already better than last time!

That it is!

*The two enter 765 productions. The room they eventually get to is the main room, though the only one there seems to be a blue haired girl listening to music while seated on a couch.*

Perfect! H-hey, Chihaya!

*The girl takes off her headphones and looks up to Topaz.*

: Can I help you?

: We're here to do your blog. And also look for a certain person named "Left Rook", have you heard anything about them?

: If you're thinking of some dumb chuunibyou thing you're better off asking that one Cinderella girl.

*Chihaya attempts to put her headphones back on, but Topaz stops her.*

What about my blog? All I'll do is talk about you.

: Whatever. Just let me listen to my tracks in piece.

: You might want to pay attention to Topaz. He might have some comments about your chest.

Don't ruin the surprise, Riri.

: M-my chest? Fine, I'll listen to your dumb blog. But then you'll have to leave. I only have so much time and I need to get ready for a performance later.

It'll take as long as it has to to explain everything. And, as you readers can probably tell...



Head
Hair: Chihaya has really pretty hair. It's long, going all the way down to her waist or so. Even better is that it's the straight-back type, meaning that it doesn't curve around her neck or at the bottom or something. That's my favorite style for long hair, so good job Chihaya. She does have a part over her left eye, but as a whole her bangs are fine (though she doesn't have a hime cut). The sides could be longer as currently they seem to get lost in her bangs and are hard to see. It seems she was initially proposed with a headband, but that was dropped. Other than that she really doesn't have too many different hair styles, which is a plus for me. Finally, her hair is a dark blue color, a nice shade for my tastes. In the beginning I guess it looked black, but it's been lightened up since the arcade days.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Chihaya's eyes are pretty as well. I do find it difficult to describe her eye shape though. Personality-wise she seems like she'd have a tsurime, which she sort of does. However, there's a curve in the middle of her eye before it slopes downward. I'll guess that she has a tsurime and the corners of her eyes seem longer than they should be. I say this due to how her pupils are situated. This is just how I see it, though. It's sort of difficult to tell her eye color as well; it's either a gold, which I'm not as fond of but would fit her personality, or a brown, which I prefer. Even outside my opinion people see her eyes more as “brown” though. Sadly on the glasses front I can't recall if Chihaya wears any or not. She doesn't in the main series (the closest I think are ski goggles in a recent Million Live card), but it's Puchimas that I'm not sure about.
Grade: B

Face: Chihaya has a fairly average A-1 ish face, matching many of her costars. That said it's not too bad. She has small features and at least Idolmaster puts some thought into making different faces. I especially like the Puchimas version (and the Wooser version as well as they use the same model). It looks really soft and puni, with the (mostly) lack of nose really helping as well. That said I do find her really beautiful, and the moments when she's all goofy and laughing (like when Haruka opens a box wrong and whacks herself in the face) I really enjoy. I'm not too big into the game or Xenoglossia but seeing that I haven't experienced either I can't be too rough on them.
Grade: B+

: So you like glasses... Interesting...

: That he does. Perhaps you could put THESE on.

*Riri hands Chihaya a pair of red thick-framed glasses which she then puts on. Chihaya looks wonderful.*

: H-how do I look?

Wonderful! Good call, Riri.

: I haven't been your assistant for years for nothing!

True, you do keep me on track.

: Speaking of which, don't get distracted by her glasses.

... Huh

*Topaz is admiring Chihaya's glasses.*

: I said get back to your blog!

Er, of course!

Body
Build: Chihaya has what I'd describe as a “classical beauty” figure. She's 162 cm which is a fair height and weighs 41 kg. Due to this she has a low BMI and seems to be really underweight, but that's likely because as an idol she has to stay slim. Oddly enough she has a problem with people calling her “slender”, but I imagine it means something different in Japan. Also strange is that she apparently wants to be “fat” in the games on occasion. No, this isn't due to her chest (we'll be talking more about that later anyway); instead it's because her idea of a great singer is an opera singer and those tend to be bigger for the expanded lung capacity. Or something, I understandably don't know much about Opera. She still doesn't eat too much sweets, even when Haruka offers her some (though Chihaya can't turn down vanilla ice cream). Her three sizes are 72-55-78 so that means-

: Ku...

-What was that for?

: Isn't it obvious? You're going to mock and insult my chest.

I wouldn't think about doing something like that. I was just going to say that your hips are bigger than your chest.

: Yeah, and who wants a flat girl with a big butt!

*Ririchiyo and Topaz turn to each other, sigh, and return to facing Chihaya with the same answer.*

: Zettai.

Zettai. But that does remind me of a problem. I mean besides having more than a 5 cm difference (she also doesn't change between the first two games). You see, Chihaya doesn't shown off too much. She's got one good card where she's bending over, but as a whole she covers her body. Even in the beach episode she wears a shirt until Haruka pulls it off her. It's a shame as Chihaya's slender body is really nice, especially with her non-loli height. Her legs aren't always great but they do look nice in the cat-based white sukumizu card.
Grade: B-

Breasts: As said Chihaya has a 72 cm chest, and this is probably her worst area for me.

: See! You men are all the same!

Just breast bias isn't the reason though! It's true that I do prefer larger chests Chihaya's flat chest is still very beautiful! While that's the main reason for her score, because my grade is poorly one-sided, I have a better reason this time around. Chihaya is one of those girls who have a REALLY bad chest complex. You see, she's probably the flattest of the non-loli girls. As a result she's constantly reminded of that fact, and it doesn't help that Idolmaster is such a chest-dominated series as well. I'm not the best at ranting at this type of thing, but it is sad to see her picked on in-series and by fans for this fact. There was even a card on her BIRTHDAY that made her glare at Azusa and Takane for that reason. Takane, being more of a butt girl, should show that off more too. It's also a major part of the personality of Chihya, her Puchi idol, as she slaps girls that are “boing boing” and she's (meaning Chihya) also jealous of Miki and Azusa's puchis apparently being busty (we're not able to tell, but they are). Chihya otherwise is fine and cute, but it goes to show how much importance is put on Chihaya's flat chest complex that she really shouldn't have. It's sad that people have to bully her like this. While she does get a “D” here imagine it's more for “D”FC rather than a low score! Oh, and I won't forget Xenoglossia. Even if I haven't seen it it's obvious from the art that they messed up all the girls' chest sizes. It's so bad that Chihaya and Yayoi somehow end up bigger than AZUSA! Okay, so she shrunk a bit but STILL!
Grade: D

Clothes: Chihaya, as an idol, has a lot of outfits. Just look at the card game alone where she wears things like a white sukumizu, a kimono, a maid outfit, and a mermaid's tail (just to name a few). Some other official art includes a Santa outfit and a wedding dress. She also has various idol outfits in the main series, and her casual clothes are pretty as well. I do like how she wears a lot of neckties as they're a part of her blazer school uniform in the anime. As her fruit costume she wears a grape outfit, appealing far more than another “grape girl” to Zettai I bet. As a whole her color seems to be blue, which fits well with her personality. While I didn't go into much detail about Chihaya's many, many outfits do know that I like her clothes choices (even if they're somewhat reserved). Oh, and I guess that she wears a red shirt, black jacket, and white pants that make her hip's sides seem extra-large in Xenoglossia.
Grade: A

: That's not a great score. I bet that Takane or Asuza both got much higher scores...

They do suit my tastes better, that's all. Your body has its admirers too!

: Like who?

: Zettai! He'd easily find you attractive!

That's why I did your blog as a homage to him!

: Is THAT why there's so much fanservice?

There's not THAT much...

: Sure, if you compare it to some of Zettai's. Though I do guess that's because Chihaya isn't a COW like you like!

: I-Is this right?

You'll have to excuse Riri. She gets cranky sometimes.

: I'm NOT CRANKY! I just don't see why you had to do Nozomi and Sumire when I'm not around. You know how jealous of the latter I am...

: I've heard of this "Nozomi" *Sigh* Maybe I should have used that one breast-growth contraption I got...

DO NOT DO THAT! Be proud of your flatness! Like another blue-haired girl once said "A flat chest is a status symbol"!

: Sure doesn't seem that way in a lot of shows these days...

*Riri rolls her eyes*

That is a sad truth, and if I could help I would. Sadly all I can do is write my blogs...

: So whatever happened to that invention?

: You'd never guess...

====Flashback====


Wow, that flashback was more informative than I was expecting...

: SEE what I mean about the fanservice?!

That was just one time!

: That's no excuse! But I guess this is his homage so you're allowed to play around like that. Just don't forget to finish up the blog!

I might, so let's continue onward before I forget!

Mind
Personality: Chihaya is a cool and serious girl that's dedicated to her music. Which is cool as she's voiced by Asami Imai who is a really nice voice actress for my tastes. Her voice isn't too low, but still really appeals to me by being a fitting sweet teenage one. There also seems to be a joke due to one of her songs, “Ohayou!! Asagohan”, coming out somewhat robotic and it made the nickname “Mecha-Chihaya” which may have been the inspiration for the giant Chihaya robot in the main series. Getting back to her dedication, I've heard that she may have throat problems in the game (I can't prove that for sure). It's sad as she sees herself more of a vocalist than an idol and doesn't care about the flashy moments of the career. She also enjoys listening to classical music and doesn't enjoy doing things that don't further her career.
There's a sad reason for her dedication. You see, she used to sing for her younger brother Yuu (in the anime, at lest) and he really enjoyed it. However, eight years prior to the series beginning he was killed in a car accident. His death served to drive a wedge between her parents and they divorced. Chihaya currently lives by herself in a simple apartment. Because of this Chihaya is very insistent on having the Producer call her “Chihaya” as she doesn't like being called by her family name. She also felt the blame of her brother's death, becoming nearly unable to sing until Haruka came and helped her through that.
Chihaya may seem like a typical aloof TDB, but she's actually a lot more developed than you'd expect. You see, in the arcade games she has an extremely unbalanced mood. If you forget to greet her or she has a bad lesson it could be disastrous. The reason is that she has low tension gains but high tension losses, which shows that she suffers from depression and social anxiety. They really did a good job of showing how this works, but as you're timed in the game this can cause an unwinnable situation known as a "The Chihaya Spiral".

: Hey, it sounds like she's a tsunshun, like me.

Well, in Chihaya's case it would probably be a “Kuushun”, but the idea is basically the same. She even puts up a smile for the producer and tries to remain cheerful and happy around him. That said she's also symbolized as a “Bluebird of Happiness”. This is directly referenced in at least two of her songs, but it ties in with her trying to find her own path and her trying to find her unique happiness.
There's a bunch of little interesting things about Chihaya as well. She is a fan of dogs but doesn't own one as she's not allowed to have them in her apartment. She is allowed to keep Chihya in the Puchimas series, but Chihaya isn't a fan as Chihya sleeps on her face. Speaking of Puchimas Chihaya has a running joke of wanting to name every one of them she sees as “Gonzales”. I'm not sure where that name comes from, but it's a silly running joke of hers. It seems she's also bad with technology, but that's not shown too much in the anime. About the best reference is that she has a 90's-style phone while others probably have more up-to-date ones. She has an air of maturity but she'll still giggle at simple jokes. She's also interested in Kabuki, Greek Architecture, and photography, it seems. There's also rumors that she still believes in Santa due to a line in a game, but I can't say for sure.
As you can tell, I really like Chihaya. While she's not my favorite idol she probably has more backstory and depth most of the girls don't.
Grade: A

Libido: There's none really shown. I do suppose that there's some for the Producer in the games but there's nothing in the anime. I suppose that her and Haruka could have a thing, with both being main characters, but I can't be too sure.
Grade: C

Age: Chihaya is sixteen, though she does start the games at 15, and her birthday is February 25th. Happy over week-belated birthday! I do suppose she's older in Xenoglossia, being over 50 years old due to SCIENCE fiction, but I don't think that counts.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 71
Average score: 7.9
Final Grade: B

: I knew it. You just wanted me to... Hey, that's not a bad score.

No it isn't. You've at least beaten the recent middle school idols.

: Sadly the busty ones still best you.

: It's all because of my chest... *Sigh*

While that doesn't help I'll also say that your lack of libido also helps. Imagine how much better you would score if you were more aggressive! Or, even better, DOMINANT.

: Right, if you got a A- there instead you'd be above Azusa!

: Thanks, but I'd rather just concentrate on my music for now. Plus I should be getting going, I'm already late for my “appointment”.

Just remember, people love your flat chest so hold it out with pride!

: Certainly!

: Hey, it's about time for you to go.

*Azusa shows up behind them.*

: Oh no, it's the final boss already!

: Don't worry, I got this.

: Oh? Are you three busy playing a game?

: We were busy, but I'm ready now.

*Chihaya stands up and flicks her hair in an epic way. She then starts walking out and follows Azusa. Chihaya's chest is full of pride and she walks with confidence. However, Topaz holds her up.*

Oh, and one more thing. If you meet up with a person named "Zettai"...

*Topaz whispers into Chihaya's ear. She looks almost sick from whatever he's saying, but also intrigued.*

: A-are you sure?

Certainly! I bet he'll love it!

: Whatever Topaz told you don't do, Zettai is a pervert (but he likes DFC so he's a chill guy. Wait, "CHILL"? Riri, you know better than that).

: I'll get right on it then!

*Chihaya leaves to go find Zettai.*

Now what are we going to do, Riri? Chihaya wasn't one of the Chessmasters.

: True, but we did get a message that there was one here...

*Suddenly a mysterious shadow appears behind Topaz and Riri.*

???: Are you looking for the CHESSMASTERS? Well then, you've found one right here...

*As they turn around scared they only notice a girl with two bows in her hair. She's also wearing a black cape, trying a bit too hard to be a final boss.*

: Haruka Amami here! And as the eighth and final pawn I'll battle you!

GASP!

: You can't battle him today, Haruka. You've got a performance to get ready for.

*Haruka sighs.*

: You may think that you've won today, but we'll see who the winner will be... Next time!

*Haruka points threateningly to Topaz before leavng with Ritsuko.*

: Well, at least this way you're giving a hint...

That's true. It seems that next week will be Haruka Amami, see you all then!

Anime Relations: Moetan

This is the Three-hundreth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz stands outside his house.*

Welcome back everyone! As you can tell, this is a big day. Today we celebrate the 300th blog! Okay, so technically this isn't the 300th blog due to the meganekko day specials, and that's not even counting the rare times I do two girls at once. It's also not counting guest blogs either. But, as far as blog days on Thursdays go, this is the 300th example. And do I have a treat for you! Well, I suppose that it's more of a treat for ME, but still. But, if there's newcomers or people unfamiliar with the series I'm going to discuss today I'll give a short synopsis. Sometime in May of 2011 my friend Zettai and I decided to make ideal girls for the other and write stories about them. We've been doing this ever since, and it's been a daily occurrence where we'd give each other a paragraph or two of erotic fiction for the other. I do enjoy doing this, and as a result I decided to include this into the blog. Now, let's enter and see whose here! Even if I can assume who it is...

*Topaz enters the door and enters. He eventually makes it to his living room.*

Anime Relations: Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui!

This is the Two-hundred-and-seventy-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Wel-welcome back everyone. *hack cough cough* As you can tell, I'm E-Emperortopaz, internet sensation and anime girl blogger person. Now, as you know, I've done a l-lot of girls because I'm so popular. However, today I-I'll be discussing the VERY BEST girl (wait, did that need to be bold AND italicized? Eh, I'll see how it looks after and change it).

Anyway, today I'll be going over the most popular and attractive girl of ALL TIME!!!11!



Head
Hair: Being so popular makes Tomoko's hair all shiny and smell good. It's also black and beautiful. Could it be any more perfect? I THINK NOT!
Grade: A+

Eyes: Tomoko's eyes are perfect and green. They really w-warm up my male parts! Also she wore glasses so this score is totally understandable!!1!
Grade: A+

Face: Because of her beautiful face Tomoko gets all kinds of boys. Thus, she's perfect here too, of course!
Grade: A+

Body
Build: Here is were Tomoko's beautiful body is proven to be irresistible. Guys everywhere want to grope her and she even had a molester on a train grope her! Better watch out!
Grade: A+

Breasts: Tomoko's b-big F-cup boobies are always hidden, but she totally has them! Just look at this! *Pulls out a large-cupped bra. The tag has the name"Yuu Naruse" on it* S-see? Totally huge sweater puppies!
Grade: A+

Clothes: Tomoko's outfits are totally perfect, you can tell as she often wears her school uniform. It has a necktie, so you will understand how she's SO popular!
Grade: A+

Mind
Personality: Tomoko is really the most p-popular girl at her school. Not only that, but the whole internet loves her too! But she stays humble and continues her activities of watching anime and playing games. Sometimes she even plays with BOYS!
Grade: A+

Libido: T-Tomoko TOTALLY has done it! With all kinds of guys too, b-but she really loved them all so don't call her names.
Grade: A+

Age: Tomoko rekindled my love of highschool, so even though s-she's a high school girl I have to give her the same grade I'd give an old Christmas cake girl!
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 108
Average score: 12
Final Grade: A+

A-as you can see Tomoko is obviously the best girl ever and you should put her in your favorites. She's perfect and not even my FORMER waifu Arima Senne can-

*The door opens suddenly*

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Anime Relations: Accel World, Accel World: Acchel World., Accel World EX

*We join Ririchiyo and Rika playing a friendly card game.*

Ririchiyo: ...And then I cast this Hammer card. With the creatures I have in play, I deal 20 whole damage and defeat you!

Rika: That wasn't something funny at all! I knew we should have played that one monster game instead!

*A meganekko enters.*

Kimiko: Hey, have either of you two seen Topaz? I haven't seen him in months!

Riri: Last I saw he was absorbed into the underworld. I tried most of last month to contact him, but it was useless.

Rika: It's just easier to assume that he's dead.

Kimiko: That can't be it. If he's dead he would have been sent to the Touhou universe and I would have been called.

Riri: Oh? You're from the Touhou universe?

Kimiko: That's right, we haven't met yet. I'm Topaz from the Touhou universe, nice to meet Topaz's newest assistant.

Rika: I THOUGHT I recognized you.

Kimiko: I blame the fact that the writer doesn't want my name confused with the "main" Topaz so he's using my first name. Which I HATE!

Rika: Plus it's not like we can use images anymore.

Kimiko: I know, right? It's like all my cool personality is gone!

Riri: So are you here just to complain or something? You looked like you were in sort of a hurry...

Kimiko: That's right! Today is the FIFTH year anniversary of this blog!

Rika: Five years already? Seems like it was just last week he was making single-line entries and calling that good!

Riri: Oh! Rika told me about anniversaries as well! We have something like... Guest blogs... right?

Rika: That we do! Hopefully we don't have like TEN or so blogs we have to go through!

Kimiko: We have one.

*Riri and Rika are both shocked.*

Rika: ONLY ONE?

Riri: Hmmm, I guess there were a lot of other people trying out blogging this year. I guess that would be the reason why.

Kimiko: Anyway, lets get looking at the one that we DO have. From ZettaiRyouiki here's Snow Black/Kuroyukihime!



Rika: Oh, it's from that one guy who likes butts way too much.

Riri: I've heard of him, doesn't he write stories involving you?

Rika: Yeah, but evil powers forced him to stop. I think. Though honestly I didn't mind as much as it is fun to make a joke out of it. Plus he seemed to enjoy my buttcake.

Kimiko: I hope that's not an euphemism! Or, maybe I secretly do... Kekeke.

Riri: *whispers to Rika* Are we SURE that Kimiko is a girl?

Rika: *whispers her reply* Well, she's from the Touhou universe. She's likely a girl but most of the girls there are lesbians anyway.

Kimiko: Hey, what are you two talking about?

Riri & Rika: Er, nothing!

Kimiko: I see then. I guess I should go and call in a favor to see if I can find Topaz.

Rika: We'll stay here and watch over Topaz's stuff just in case he returns!

Riri: Hopefully Rika won't eat all of his snacks...

Rika: I can't help it, I'm a growing girl!

Kimiko: Maybe in the BUTT!

Rika: People would like that! I can name at least one.

Riri: *sigh* I can't deny that. Anyway, it's time to call this guest blog for 2013 closed, as short as it was.

Rika: Indeed, don't forget to read the main blog today either!

Anime Relations: Tokyo Mew Mew

his is the Two-hundred-and-forty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. Today I have a special guest!

*A young male adult walks into sight.*

???: Well, to be fair I'm not really here. But for the purposes of this blog, assume I'm a special helper.

Right, and today's special assistant is...

???: Charlie, THE RAPPY .... smith.

That's right people, once again I'm using people I know as special assistants for my blogs.

Charlie: Wait, this has happened before?

Well yeah, I did you way back in blog number 200. But besides that I've also done a few other of my friends earlier this year as well.

Charlie: Anyone I'd know?

No. Unless you mean me.

Charlie: Dumb.

Now, you may be asking why I'm having Charlie here helping me. The answer is simple. You see, over this coming weekend he's getting married. I figured that I should have him with me to talk about anime girls before this time.

Charlie: Indeed, hopefully we'll still be able to hang out after. I've been busy the past month or so preparing. Luckily my presence here is fictional, or else I'd be too busy as well.

Shhh, you're not supposed to reveal that! Anyway, can you guess who the girl this week is?

Charlie: I have no idea. I'm not as up to date on my anime girls.

As a hint, it's a show we used to watch.

Charlie: Pokemon? Yu-gi-oh? Avatar? Some other show that I've since forgot about?

Silly Charlie, I'm talking about...



Charlie: ...I still don't know who that is... Plus the lack of an image isn't helping either.

Boo hackers ruining things for my blog! Perhaps THIS will help you remember!

*Topaz flips sheets in his notebook.*



Charlie: Now I remember! We used to watch that show all the time on TV and call each other to talk about events while they happened! Man, I miss that, it's too bad they never finished dubbing it. They even translated the preview!

Right right. But for now it's time to start the blog!

Charlie: I'm hungry.

Head
Hair: Ichigo's hair is a short-ish bob cut. More often, though, she has her hair up in two pigtails on the top of her head. This is one of my least favorite hairstyles as I'm a big supporter of having girls have their hair down. I suppose that having red ribbons hold them up is cute, but I was never a big fan of Ichigo's hair. It's not helped by the fact that she has dark red hair either. You should know my opinions on redheads, but that's the hair color I dislike the most. It fits her theme, in a way, I guess, and it's not like it looks bad on her either. I'm just very biased against her hair.
However, that's mainly in the anime. In the manga, as well as when transformed, she gets PINK hair. Bright pink, no less. I'm no bigger fan of pink than I am of red. In fact, due to how wavy/curly her hair gets I'm inclined to say that I like it even LESS than just the red hair. I'm just not a big fan of her hair color or style overall.
Some things I'll add that I do appreciate are her accessories though. Because of what she is (which I'll explain later) she occasionally has cat ears. She also has them all the time while transformed. Another accessory that she wears on occasion is a waitress headdress. She works as a waitress as a secret identity and the headdress she wears is cute as it reminds me of a maid's.
Grade: D+

Eyes: Once again we have a major change between the anime and manga. In the anime Ichigo has.. brown eyes. Huh, that's not too bad, actually. I can deal with brown eyes. Sure, here eyes are larger than most current shows and they're occasionally off-model, but they're still alright, at least. However, this cloud has a dark lining. Much like her hair her eyes are a bright pink when transformed and all the time in the manga. I mean, I understand her being the "pink" Mew Mew, but that's not a good excuse in my mind.
Grade: C

Face: Way back in the 135 blog I was congratulating Lettuce on her great face. Having seen a lot more series since that time, it's possible for me to have a different opinion. Especially because there's not much difference between Lettuce and Ichigo face-wise (well, Lettuce is obviously better as she wears glasses, but you know what I mean). I will say that it's not too bad, barely coming before the whole "moe boom" but still looking like it could possibly fit in with it. She also has small features as well, always a plus. Also, being what she is, she also has a fang on occasion, and I'm not a big fan of those.
Grade: B

*Unknown to Topaz and Charlie, a familiar paintbrush rolls out from a nearby table.*

Body
Build: Ichigo's body is fairly average for a preteen. It's not that impressive, at least to me. I will say that her Mew Mew outfit does show off her legs and shoulders, so maybe they're points of interest but I imagine that as a show for young girls that wasn't their intention. Her butt also isn't that interesting, being flat as expected. I will say that she does seem to shake it when her tail comes out in the transformation. Unfortunately she's wearing a frilly skirt so it's not like we get a good view either. The tail itself is pretty cute though, having black fur and a big red bow with a bell at the end. I'll also mention that her "Mew Mark" is a pink version of the imprint on her Mew pendant on the inside of her right thigh. This makes her awkward when the presumably "attractive" guy who made them goes to look. Also there's a few episodes where she turns into a cat, but I'll ignore those. Also, apparently there's questionable measurements that say she's 5'3" and 96 lbs. I highly doubt the source (as that would mean that Ichigo, who is far from the tallest Mew Mew, is 160 cm tall), though MAL also shows that her height is 159 cm so who knows. In metric her weight would be 43.5 kg, which is reasonable as well.
Grade: C

Breasts: Again, Ichigo is average here too. Perhaps larger than average, considering her age, but I digress. She does look a bit bigger as Mew Ichigo, but I don't think that's a result of her chest having more focus (as the uniform seems to be a bustier or such).
Grade: C

Clothes: Ichigo wears about three or four major outfits commonly. The first is her school uniform, which consists of a grey sailor uniform with white fluffy shoulders and attached skirt, a red bow on her chest, and short socks. Next, as said earlier, she wears a waitress outfit for her part-time job/cover. It's very maid-looking, but the redness of the outfit rather than black does take away from the "traditional" look. I will say that she usually has her pigtails down while wearing the outfit though, so I appreciate it. Her final "common" civilian clothes are a yellow shirt with red shorts. Oh, and while in the hot spring she wears a red-and-yellow checkered print bikini (though it doesn't show off her body that much).
The final outfit I'll talk about is her Mew Ichigo outfit. As said before, it seems to be a bustier on top with a very poofy skirt. If you're not sure what a bustier is, think of a tube top with a V-neck. Well, at least that's my thought of what a bustier is, I could be wrong. Getting on with Ichigo's outfit though, it also has forearm cuffs and red cloves as well as a garter on her right leg and tall boots that go nearly to her knee.
Grade: B

Charlie: One of my favorite lines still is "These woods have been cleared for excavation. You girls had better put some clothes on." I figured that I should add that before we go to the next topic.

Mind
Personality: Ichigo's personality isn't all that special, really. She just has a basic magical girl lead personality, which means that she's caring and brave but stupid as well. She can get pretty emotional, but once she gets a handle on her powers she's a great fighter (though she was pretty reluctant to receive them at first). She's hard working but doesn't like to get up for school on time. She's a bit hyper but usually cheerful. She's pretty bold but shy around her love interest. She'd also do anything for her friends as well.
Now, there's nothing wrong with the above paragraph. It's more that nearly EVERY magical girl lead (or "leader" of a group) has most of those traits. Ichigo isn't exactly doing anything that unusual or different.
That's not exactly true either though. When Ichigo received her powers she was implanted with Iriomote Cat DNA. Because of this, she gains a lot of cat-like traits. These include loving fish, being more acrobatic, and enjoying naps. She also has cat ears and a tail pop out of her when she's excited, making for some entertaining moments. Mew Ichigo also fights using a "Strawberry Bell" as well.
Grade: C

Libido: Ichigo is actually somewhat interesting here. She starts off with Masaya Aoyama at the beginning of the series. He's also the "winner", so apologies for spoiling that. Anyway, the number of suitors that Ichigo gets is enough to consider her the lead in a reverse harem anime. There's also Ryou, the creator of the Mew Project and the one who implanted the animal DNA into Ichigo (not like that, perverts). There's also Quiche, a villain, that seems to enjoy flirting with Ichigo. He steals her first kiss, which was a big deal for her. Finally, the "guardian spirit" character (er, think of Tuxedo Mask) in this series is named Blue Knight. He's eventually revealed later on to be one of these three, but I won't answer who he is.
Grade: B

Age: Ho boy. There's a LOT of ages to go from. Tokyopop, the ones that translated the manga, state that Ichigo's age is between eleven and twelve. They're wrong. 4kids translated her as a whopping SIXTEEN for the anime. Now, this is likely to attract older audiences, but as you can probably assume Ichigo isn't that old (it may also be that they didn't want girls as young as them to have a hot spring episode, even if they were wearing bikinis). Also their plan failed and they didn't have enough interest to finish dubbing the series. Probably the best guess is that the Japanese version, as well as a much-better manga version state that her name is between twelve and thirteen. That still doesn't give her a good score, but at least we have a nice range (better than not telling us at ALL). Oh, and her birthday is also March 15th.
Grade: C-

Total Grades: 51
Average score: 5.7
Final Grade: C+

Charlie: I can't tell, is that a good score?

Not really, it's on the lower end of the scale. It's likely because I was never a big fan of Ichigo herself. She was always too valley girl-ish for my tastes and she wasn't going to get many points from her hair and body shape. Instead, this is more one of the girls that I do because of a special occasion.

Charlie: I see then. Thanks for having me. *starts to walk away but slips on a paintbrush.* YEEK!

*The paintbrush glows with a familiar rainbow color.*

DON'T TOUCH THAT!

Charlie: What? I heard "touch" and "that" in the same sentence, so I'll obviously touch this glowing paintbrush.

NOOO!!

Charlie: *Pokes the paintbrush.* Can I eat it?

*Suddenly a rainbow energy blast is released from the paintbrush and hits Charlie directly. His heart crystal, a yellow Citrine, is pulled from his body and soon it grows into a large, yellow penguin-like bird called a Rappy.*

Monster: GAMING!

NOT AGAIN! I thought that we were done with this!

Monster: GAMING! *The Rappy-like monster creates a large controller-like whip which it swings at Topaz. He barely avoids it.*

W-what magical girl should I summon- Oh, that's a perfect idea!

*Topaz summons the week's girl, who, while transporting, transforms.*



: For the earth's future, I'll be at your service Nya~!

I'm glad to have chosen a magical girl that can defeat this monster today!

: Don't worry, Topaz. I'll easily defeat this monster! Take this! *rushes the Rappy to punch it.*

Monster: GAMING! *Creates a giant 20 sided die and throws onto Mew Ichigo.*

: Ahhh! *Is hit and rolls across the floor. The die continues to roll. It ends up rolling a 7.*

Wait, I have an idea! Have him continue using that attack!

: But it hurrrrtttsss!

Just do it!

Monster: GAMING!

*The monster throws another die, nearly hitting Ichigo but instead it hits a nearby table.*

Monster: GAMING?

*The table drastically alters the course of the die, sending it spinning towards the monster instead. The monster gets hit directly and the die ends up landing on a 1. This causes it to explode and daze the monster.*

Monster: Game? Ing?

: Wow. That actually worked.

If there's one thing I know about Charlie, it's that his terrible luck makes his dice-rolling skills sub-par. It was just a matter of time, but he's starting to awaken so you'd better attack!

: Oh yeah! Ribbon Strawberry Check!

Monster: GAMING! *is surrounded by the Ichigo's attack and becomes a Heart Crystal once more. His heart crystal is also put back inside his body.*

: Well, it looks like he'll be alright, but right now I have a date with Aoyama! Catch you another time!

Ehehehe, CAT-ch you later indeed.

: Your puns are horrible.

Luckily they aren't CAT-astrophic!

:...I'm leaving. *dissipates as her summon ends*

*Right after she leaves, Charlie regains his consciousness.*

Charlie: Uhhh. *rubs head* It feels like a ladder fell from nowhere...

You were just turned into a giant gaming Rappy thanks to a paintbrush that was never recovered from a villain of mine. However, I managed to summon Ichigo here and she was able to defeat you and return your heart crystal. Unfortunately she's already left, but it totally did happen!

Charlie: Yeah, and I've been dead for seven years. What REALLY happened?

Er, um. The stress of the marriage got to you so you went for a quick nap.

Charlie: In the middle of this convention center?

...Yes. You were hungry too.

Charlie: Alright, that DOES make sense.

As for now, it's time to wave goodbye to all our readers. Is there anything you want to say as we leave?

Charlie: Dance! Join the Revolution!

Also, we should probably find that paintbrush. I'm sure that it's still nearby...

*Topaz starts searching.*

*Unknown to Topaz and Charlie, a glasses-wearing female bends over finds a rainbow-colored paintbrush and picks it up.*

????: Hmmm, this would be interesting in idol work. I can't wait to see her use this.

*The mysterious meganekko manager puts the brush in her bag and leaves....*

Anime Relations: Kidou Butouden G Gundam

This is the Two-hundred-and-forty-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back readers, to my weekly blog! I'm feeling much better from my meganekko day blog, and don't worry as most of that crying was just for entertainment value.

: *ahem*

Oh, I figured that they'd know who you were, Riri. If you'd like I can introduce you again.

: As much as I'd enjoy that, didn't you forget to do something last week?

What's that?

: What about your GUEST BLOGS

OH! I did completely forget. Luckily copy and paste is here to pick up my slack!


That's it for the week everyone, thanks for coming!

: TOPAZ! You didn't even write about a girl today!

Eh, I'm feeling lazy this week. Next week I can do two of them.

: But it's the birthday special for one of your closest friends! You don't want to disappoint Zettai!

You're right! I have my honor to keep, and a friend's girl to blog about!

: There you go!

Just one question, can I still do two girls next week?

: Er, go for it?

That's great then. The only problem is, who to blog on. You see, he's followed in my footsteps and has created his own blog. I don't want to ruin his stories (which are fantastic and awesome) by bringing up a girl he likes!

: You could do one from one of his favorite series instead. He might appreciate that.

True, but even then there's the problem that he really likes a certain character as well and I'm fairly sure that he'll blog about her eventually as well. *looks through other characters from that series* And none of these are jumping out at me... WAIT! There's one! Get ready everyone, today we're looking at...

Anime Relations: Fate/Zero, Fate/Zero 2nd Season, Fate/Zero Remix, Fate/Zero: Onegai! Einzbern Soudanshitsu

This is the Two-hundred-and-thirty-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. As said last month, due to story purposes I couldn't have my yearly Mother's Day blog. Instead, I decided to delay it until today.

: Wait a minute, Empry!

What is it?

: Well, isn't that a fine welcome back.
: But putting that aside, don't forget it's one of your friend's birthdays-TODAY!

Ah yes. I can't forget that today is a special day. But luckily, I've already taken it into consideration. Thus, today we'll be talking about a character that's both a mother and enjoyed by my friend:

Anime Relations: Bakemonogatari, MM!, MM! Specials, Nisemonogatari, Sword Art Online

: Well Rika, it's that time of the year again.


: Time to stuff our faces with turkey and other foods?


: No, no. That's- well, it's not INcorrect but that's not what I'm thinking of. It turns out that today is also the day that Emperortopaz releases his guest blogs!


: Aww man. Are we the ones hosting this again?


: What's wrong with hosting it? Besides, it's better than going through whatever Topaz is up to right now.


: I suppose, and it also looks like we don't have as many blogs as we did last year either. At least this time it will likely stay in a single blog or something.


: That it likely will. Starting off this blog will be the first of only two blogs from ZettaiRyouiki. Here's Mio Isurugi:




: Well, at least that one was less disgusting than I thought it would be.


: That's not nice to Zettai. He's one of Empry's close friends!


: Have you NOT seen the conversations those two have. Them and their little "harems" are disgusting! "Oniisama" indeed!


: I'm sure he restrained himself for your sake.


: (whispers) Though sometimes, I think they're nice...


: What was that?


: N-NOTHING! Besides, don't we have more blogs to get through? Here's another one from ZettaiRyouiki. Luckily he didn't do ten like last year and this is the last one. It's about Nadeko Sengoku.




: Big surprise that he'll do at least one incestuous imouto per year.


: True, it's not all that surprising. Still, I'm glad that he still got us blogs this year. And so early too!


: That's because he's a bored person who needs a life.


: That's no way to talk about someone who has you as their favorite character!


: I SUPPOSE. Either way, we're heading to the last blog!


: That's right! And this one we can mock slightly as well.


: Now why is that?


: Because this guy, Josh001, go his blog in LATE!


: Didn't he do something like this last year? You'd think that he'd learn that Topaz ALWAYS announces blogs on his birthday meganekko day.


: Wait... how were you able to cross out the words as you're talking?!


: Trade secret. Also, I BET that Joshie HASN'T read many of Topaz's blogs this year either.


: It's still good that he sent us a blog though. So thanks to both Josh001 and ZettaiRyouiki for sending out the blogs.


: Also thanks to ppizzapie for creating the image that Topaz uses every year as the image for his club.


: We're always thankful for any support through these four years, so thanks everyone! In closing, I present the final blog of the night. Here's Asuna Yuuki from Sword Art Online:

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