emperortopaz's Blog

November 26th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-sixty-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*At some hospital, a teen girl shows up bearing a load of flowers.*

: Aww, how sweet.

: D-don't think anything of it. It's just social consideration. (drat, why did I have to be so mean.)

: Still, I'm thankful that you'd still talk with me. Especially after everything that I did...

: Don't worry, we know the truth. It was more your shadow that became evil and took you over. But I'm really sorry that Topaz hurt you so much.

: Well, it's true that I got hurt but Yukiko healed me up.

: Eh?! Why are you still here then?!

: Free pudding!

*Ririchiyo sighs.*

: Well, I'm just glad that you're not in pain.

: That I'm not. Though speaking of "pain" how is Topaz?

: Topaz is not a "pain"! Sure he's perverse but-

: I meant as far as all the damage he took. Not to mention that "demon form" or whatever...

: Of course that's what you, er, meant. Basically he got taken to a "specialist" that another of his assistants suggested. Also we decided to name his new form "Mazoku Topaz".

: That sounds random.

: I know, it must be a reference but TRY as I might I can't think of it.

: Hmmm... well, as long as he's alright I guess I can't be too concerned. Though it seems that YOU are oddly overly concerned with him... Fufufu.

: E-eh? What are you talking about?

: You seemed defensive of him. Perhaps you really do love him...

: W-what? That's nonsense! I d-don't have to be put on the spot like this, I'm leaving!

*Riri storms off*

: Fufufu, someday she'll confess her true feelings. But until then she needs to work on her attitude. OH! I probably should have told her about the girl in shiny glasses that asked me to join her group. Eh, I assume that's not too important...

*Meanwhile, in another location Topaz wakes up from laying on a bed.*

W-where am I?

: You're in the Touhou universe.

Wait, did I die again?

: What? No! We just decided that you'd come here. Besides, hasn't it become tradition for you to do a Touhou girl after your year finale?

That's a fair point. It has been happening so often it might as well be official at this point. But I must say something, you look different.

: Really? I think I look the same. What's different?

I'm not sure. It's more like... you're more uniform or something.

: I did get a new snapshot and this time with background. Maybe it's that.

It could be.

: Though I'm not the only one who has changed. Since the viewers can't see you, do know that Empry is wearing new glasses.

*Topaz touches them, showing off the new glasses-model with close-ups and everything.*

Rockin' like a PK attack. So do they have any special features?

: They're glasses. They help you see things.

I suppose that's all I should ask for. But it seems I've gotten distracted.

: Happens a lot.

More times than I'd like to admit. But now that the viewers are here we should begin the blog. So who is the gal today?

???: That "gal" is ME!

*A mysterious woman walks up.*

Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 26, 8:17 AM | 0 comments
November 19th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-sixty-fourth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*A cut in of Ririchiyo appears in the battle interface.*

: Hello. It looks like you're about to battle. Wait no... Welcome back readers. This week we're facing the true boss of the Chessmasters, King. There totally won't be a boss after this, nope. But last week it was revealed that the girl that has been leading the force against Topaz is none other than Rise Kujikawa. Or, to be more specific, her Shadow form. Hopefully Topaz's main strategy isn't just to kneel and hide behind a shield while poking her legs.

Shhh! You'll give away my plan.

: You aren't Link!

: That much should be obvious. Rather than the Hero of Time it would be more fitting to say that your time is up!

Oooh! Nice fitting reference. I applaud you.

*Topaz claps.*

: Don't patronize me! Your time is still at an end, and no matter who is here to aid you this blog shall be your death!

: Nonsense, we're here to defeat you and save our friend!

: I approve of this, but can you get me down first?

You approve of me doing my blog on you?

: That's not what I said.

: It'll be in your best interest to have Topaz do your blog. Your shadow will be weakened by it.

: How exactly does that work?

Something called "Rebuke and Enhance".

: That doesn't answer my question!

: Long story short, no one knows.

: I'd say that would be a mystery worth investigating, but I'd be lying...

: But are you sure it will help?

I don't think it could hurt...

: Fine then! I'll allow an exclusive interview with you, Emperor of Topaz!

Such a fancy name for me.

: Don't get used to it. And don't worry Rise, I'm sure that only one person will hear any embarrassing details.

: Wait, embarrassing details?

*Topaz continues talking.*

Well, it seems that...

Today's girl is:

Rise Kujikawa
Persona 4

: Wait, if you're going to be saying anything embarrassing I want out!

Don't worry, I know you want out of the cage!

: THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANT! I mean that I want you to stop the blog!

But I already put down the introduction. There's no stopping this blog train now!

: Don't worry, I won't hide behind anything anymore! Don't tear your eyes away from me, readers! But since you came all the way here I should roll out the welcoming committee... Come forth my minions!

*Shadowy copies of Rise are created in front of Topaz and the girls. Their bodies are wrapped in purple armor, though Rise's token twintails can be seen through the horns in the helmet.*


*The clones point their swords at the heroes and blast them with purple waves of energy. They all get damaged, with Topaz taking 150 damage from the multiple hits of damage.*

Oof! That's painful!

: Don't worry, I got this: Mediarama!

*The others are fully healed, with Topaz gaining back 75 hp.*

: Don't worry, it seems that they've damaged themselves from that attack!

An attack that damages themselves... The armor... Her name... Wait Riri, these are The D-

: I already see where this is going, and I explicitly forbid you from making such a terrible pun in this blog.

Oh.. Alright...

: *sighs* You've already used it as the title, haven't you...

Technically that's not part of the blog!

: Enough fooling around. Allow us to take care of these Rises. Topaz, get to work on that blog of yours this instant!

Fine then... Let's get going on this important blog then!

Hair: The first identifying feature of Rise are her fluffy, flowing twintails. They don't look too bad as they sort of curl around the shape of her head and touch her shoulders somewhat. This means that her hair is longer than some past twintail idols and, when down, Rise's hair reaches about halfway down her back. This sort of length really helps her score. The rest of the hair on her head, bangs excluded, is pulled back; like you can actually see the lines of hair being pulled into the twintail. It's a cool effect that not a lot of characters have. As for Rise's bangs they aren't bad and they are somewhat windswept-looking with a part over her right eye or so. As for color, I always used to think it was redder than it actually is. Officially her hair is “brown” but it seems to be a rusty version with some red in it. Overall not too bad, the length certainly helps, but Rise is against some stiff competition in Yukiko. As some added accessories, in the Arena games Rise wears headphones and on occasion, when she's working at her grandmother's shop, she'll wear one of the triangle-shaped hats with her uniform. I'll also mention that in the early designs she doesn't have the twintails and instead has blonde hair. This is off-putting as her hair is one of her trademark looks and not having twintails makes her look very bland.
Grade: B-

Eyes: Rise's eyes are almond-shaped like the others, fitting in to the series. Sadly there's not much left to say about the eye shape as a lot of girls in Persona are similar. I will mention that her eyes are supposed to be brown but I always found them to be a more grey color. Moreso in the more modern spin-offs. It's a shame as it would have been better if her eye color matched her hair (well, not quite matched but a similar color). Like the other Persona 4 characters Rise wears glasses in dungeons. Hers are full-framed like the rest, and are a pink color with a white gradient on the bottom half. I will mention Rise's Persona, Himeko, slightly here too, even if I don't describe them usually. The reason being that, in Himeko's hands, is a visor. This is what helps Rise see enemy locations and information, but it really looks like she's looking into a Virtual Boy or another VR helmet type of thing. This is bad as it covers up her glasses and eyes! Other than that, Rise has pretty good eyes, with the glasses really helping. Oh and her shadow self has yellow eyes, and I forgot to mention that about Naoto but still.
Grade: B+

Face: I suppose that after three girls and one right before this one there's not too much to say about Rise's face. It's somewhat realistic, with small eyes and a somewhat fair-sized nose. She may be treated as extremely beautiful in-series, but I can't remember any significant moment.
Grade: C+

: God's Hand!

*A giant fist comes down and slams into another, eliminating one of the clones.*

: Hamaon!

*Naoto shoots a holy spell, killing another instantly with a blast of light.*

: Agidyne!

*A raging fire engulfs and destroys one of the Rise clones. Now only one remains.*

: One enemy to go! Keep it up!

: Hey, that's my job!

: Whoops! I guess that old habits die hard...

We're really doing it!

: No thanks to you, Mr. Does Nothing.

: Actually I'm pretty sure that his aid is similar to a buff of some type. I estimate a bonus of at least 16% in effectiveness.

: Hmmm, so it's basically like an Expert Belt hitting a weakness. I suppose that Topaz being a bard is useful then.

At least they aren't taking recoil like a Life Orb. Though if it's an Expert Belt I imagine that these are Bisharps. It explains both the heavy armor and the fact that "Bisharp" kinda sounds like "Bishop".

: Huh... Hearing "Bishop" seems unusual, as if we're forgetting something. But you're wrong as well. If they were Bisharps then Naoto's Light-I mean "Fairy"-type attacks wouldn't be super effective.

Hmmm, that's a good point. I guess Shadow Rise DID always seem "Shiftry" to me...

: *Giggles* Good one.

: Don't tell me you know what he's talking about... *Sigh*

: Hey! Don't ignore me! Shadow clone, deal more damage!

*The remaining clone uses a weaker Darkness attack, and while it does damage the group again Topaz merely takes 30 damage.*

: Seems that the decrease in the foe's attack is important too. But we're so close we shouldn't careless now.

: Don't worry, I got this.. GALACTIC PUNT!

*Chie kicks the remaining Rise clone away, causing it to twinkle off in the distance.*

: Great job, Chie! But now that we've cleared these foes out we need to deal with the true danger.

: That's right! You have to face me!

*A pole appears in front of Shadow Rise and she starts to dance. She makes sure to push out her chest and butt, causing Topaz to stare intently.*

: Oh no! Topaz is infatuated!

: Mwahaha! Now we'll hear him expose all the secrets of my body. Every-single-one <3.

*Shadow Rise winks with each word in that last sentence.*

: Noooo! Don't embarrass me!

But don't worry Rise, I'll only say my true feelings on your body!

Build: Rise has some measurements, more than the other girls no less! Granted it's only that she's 155 cm and weighs 41 kg (the former of which the other girls won't reveal). This makes her seem really thin, but it's been said that Rise has a perfect body for modeling so we have to take that with a grain of salt. Notice that even though she seems thin she's not skeletal either, with a nice stomach and no ribs showing. She also has somewhat shapely legs, which the anime shows off fairly well. She also has nice feet, a rarity for me to mention, and her butt. Oh man, her butt is really nice. Like in the anime when she's on the Midnight Channel and shows it off really well, swinging it against the camera so all Yu sees on screen is her bottom was a really great moment. Sadly he wasn't able to record it. Technically her shadow battle is a on a stripper's pole, but that's not as sexy considering her head is a satellite at that time.
Grade: B

Breasts: Technically I missed one measurement, but mainly because I can't find proper evidence. I've heard rumors that Rise's chest is 80 cm. What is for sure is that she's 2 cm smaller than her “official” model profile says. While it doesn't seem like much I do dislike girls that attempt to make themselves look bigger. That said she does have an ample chest. I can't say for sure, but currently I have a feeling that she even outranks Yukiko. It's hard to tell as the art isn't consistent and Yukiko is a lot more reserved. Rise shows off her cleavage a lot in the sequels as well.
Grade: B

Clothes: Rise, like many other idols, has a large amount of clothing. She's often seen in the school uniform which consists of a black sailor uniform with a yellow ribbon, a black skirt, and thighhighs. In the summer she wears a white short-sleeved uniform. Over it she wears an smock while working (the restaurant, not being a model). In various scenes we can also see her in a bikini(though she has quite the variety there according to official art) or a towel in the hot springs. She also wears a yukata at one time. In Golden a winter coat and a bunny outfit are added, though the impact of the latter is spoiled by Kanji wearing the same thing in that eyecatch. She also wears a frilly idol outfit in Arena and wields a microphone with stand (no, not the JoJo kind). According to another fighting game she shows off a bit of her black bra which is a nice fit considering her libido. Of course, the dancing game has far more outfits than ever. This includes an orange dress with what seems to be pantyhose and wooly boots, the same outfit with white pants instead, a blue track suit, an awesome demon outfit with fake horns and fishnet thighhighs, a skimpy Christmas outfit, Elizabeth from Persona 3's outfit, a maid uniform, a gypsy outfit that shows a lot of skin, a yellow bikini, and a Featherman outfit.
Grade: A

: W-what? That wasn't as embarrassing as I was expecting.

: Especially from the infatuated Topaz.

Well, you do have a lot of problems. And while I am a pervert I do have standards to uphold.

*Topaz breaks free of the infatuation.*

: NO! My dancing has no effect! I'll just have to.. Whoops!

*Shadow Rise attempts to dance harder, but takes a spill and falls to the ground.*

: Well now, isn't that just convenient.. But now's your shot at an All-out attack!

I agree!

*The four battlers have cut-ins and they gang up on the downed Shadow Rise. However, all violence is blocked by a cloud of violence. Once complete this song is heard.*

: Wow, she has a surprisingly low HP...

: Well we were beating on her while Topaz was doing his blog. Maybe we just got lucky.

: True, but we should take this chance to rescue Rise.

*The three girls help her down and out of the birdcage.*

: Thank you. And don't worry, this shadow won't be bothering you again.

That's good to hear, but for now let's continue this blog.

: Of course, I'm excited to hear the conclusion!

Personality: Rise is an interesting character. She's a “former” idol that came to Inaba to spend time with her Grandmother under the excuse of “health issues”. She really came to help calm down from her difficult job. Her idol persona “Risette” is how most people know her, but she thinks she's becoming forgotten under that persona (pun intended xD). That's what causes her shadow to come out, a need for people to understand and accept how she really is. That said she does stop putting up fake faces and, after clearing her social link, she says she'll go back to being an idol. The reason is that she admits that “Risette” is still part of her, just another personality. I'll also add that her social link is important too. Even though she's not a playable character (in the RPGs, at least) she still gives great map benefits including knowing where chests and monsters are.
Rise is a somewhat standard idol archetype in some ways (though to be fair it may have been Rise that originated some of the ideas). She's cheerful and outspoken, but has a good heart where it counts. She's boastful as well and can be easily angered to the point of “tears”. She's very passionate and playful. Probably my biggest problem is that she's a year behind the protagonist. While that wouldn't bother me she does seem to idolize Yu. It gets to the point that I got tired hearing her call him “senpai” and nearly considered her a satellite character due to not getting away from him enough. I mean, it's almost like she loses some of her personality whenever he's around and I'm not quite sure why! I'll also add that she's voiced by Rie Kugimiya in one of her rare major non-tsundere roles. She does a great job with it.
Grade: B-

Libido: Rise is pretty naughty, especially considering her boss is a giant stripper. I have a feeling that the boss is one of the reasons the rating was bumped up, maybe. That said even in normal interactions Rise is a flirty girl. She also wants to profess her love to the protagonist, and she's even the “Lovers” Arcana so they get a lot of shipping. There's also the fact that, if you're dating her in the games her Christmas item is really useful as it decreases all MP consumption by 50%. That said it's unfortunate that all the other girls have items that are relatively pointless at the point in the game as it's like the game practically forces you to choose Rise over the other options for the sake of having a “better” game. They really should have had all the girls give the same thing; sure it might not be as “personal” but this way you can actually choose which girl rather than just go for Rise's item! She also flirts with Yu in the Golden epilogue, which is months after the game ends properly. That does show her devotion, but I really don't like how it's possible it's all based around him saving her. Still, Rise herself is great and I like her flirty side.
Grade: B

Age: Rise starts off the series at 15 and grows to 16 through the events of said series. Her birthday is June 1st. Like with Naoto Rise doesn't join the team until after her birthday (though the difference is much tighter as Rise's dungeon can first be entered on the 25th of June). Rise also was born in 1995, much like Naoto.
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 71
Average score: 7.9
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week. What do you think about it?

: Not too bad. Not too great, but at least I did better than Chie.

: I blame lacking certain "assets"...

That's true, though "assets" in this case means longer hair. If you would have had hair more like Yukiko you would have surpassed Rise easily!

: Cha! Like I'd look good in long hair! I'm not feminine enough...

Believe me, if Naoto can pull it off...

: What's that?


: Good, it sounded like you were making a comment at my expense. Well, since the fiendish shadow has been defeated let's go home.

Good plan.

Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 19, 12:48 PM | 0 comments
November 12th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-sixty-third week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

: Glad you finally remembered to say that. Who knows what kind of readers may have been spoiled on potential Klan or Mawari moments!

At least I wasn't thrown out a window, I suppose.

: Didn't you fall out of one during Miia's blog?

Fair point. But I suppose that I should answer the question on everyone's mind.

*A girl to Topaz's left speaks up.*

: I'm Mawari!

Good readers should already know that. But I meant more why we're currently standing in front of a police station.

*The camera pans and shows off the trio standing in front of the steps.*

: Shouldn't good readers know THAT as well?

Fair point. But for those who missed it last week I was put under arrest by Mawari.

: Right, or until he was able to convince me that he wasn't hurting anyone.

That's right. Not sure exactly how I did it, but it worked... Anyway, we're here because we were interrupted by a girl trying to communicate through the television screen.

: Do not adjust your monitor, it's just the Midnight Channel. Whatever that is.

Right, that's why we're here. To talk with a friend of Mawari's. She's a detective!

: The friend, not me. I'm still in training to be a cop.

Fair point. But enough messing around, let's get down to business!

: I'll lead the way.

*Mawari leads Riri and Topaz inside the police station. They eventually arrive in a detective's office.*

: Here are the two who are looking for advice about the midnight channel.

*The detective is rocking his chair back and forth.*

???: The Midnight Channel? I thought that case was finished. Figures that it would turn up again. But this will be an excellent case for...

*The young man swivels around.*


*Topaz and Riri both gasp.*

W-wait, Mawari told me that you were a boy.

: Yeah. He is.

: I'm pretty sure that Naoto is a girl.

: Nonsense.

I bet I could prove it to you...

*Riri glares at Topaz.*

: I bet you could, but don't pull a Okabe here! And you can't fondle her chest either!

Aww man, there goes both of my plans.

*While they were talking Naoto gets anger veins on the back of her head.*

: Enough horseplay! I'm not here to babysit you three, so get on with it!

Aren't I older than you?

: I'm more MATURE though.

: She sure showed you...

I will admit that's right. But anyway, we saw a person on the Midnight Channel and she said she was going to defeat me!

: Highly unlikely, but if you pay me well I'll follow you.

: What are you, some kind of optional party member?

Sadly I can't pay you Naoto. But I have something even better. How about I do my blog on you this week?

: How exactly is that "better"?!

: Hmmm, I've been interviewed quite often, and maybe getting this "blog" will get my name out even further!

: By one person who already knows who you are, sure!

So are you alright with me doing your blog?

: I suppose so. Go ahead and I'll try to get my briefs out.

: "Briefs"? I told you he was a guy!

: How many times to I need to tell you, I'm a girl! Besides, I meant my legal briefs. I should have some notes from the previous incident.

Alright then, I'll get this started. And as you should figure...

Today's girl is:

Naoto Shirogane
Persona 4

Hair: Naoto has short blue hair. It looks really great and I love dark colors. That said it is really short, barely reaching her neck in length. It's a bit more reasonable for her to have short hair, considering that when we first meet her the player is supposed to think that she's a guy. She also has her trademark hat: a blue cap of sorts (it probably has some sort of official name that I don't know). Normally she wouldn't get as high as she did as I really do tend to favor long hair. Fortunately Naoto has a spinoff manga called “Persona X Detective” that's set a year after the main series. In it, Naoto has gotten more in touch with her femininity and this includes growing her hair out. It nearly reaches her waist, which is a perfect length or so. She doesn't have the hat in this spin-off though, some sacrifices have to be made but it's a shame as it is a nice hat. She also puts her hair up in a ponytail in that manga, for a bit of variety.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Naoto's eyes are a lot like Yukiko's, mainly due to the art style. Her eyes are almond-shaped and have a grey or subtle blue coloring. Like most Persona 4 characters she also has a black dot in the middle of her pupil. A fair amount of the time, at least in the game scenes, her eyes are half-closed which is nice. She does have eyelashes but they aren't too noticeable. I'm not too big on the non-standard look, but I will mention that in certain images the spinoff does make her look closer to a more standard measure. Pupil-wise, I mean.
Of course, the main reason I like the eyes that Persona 4 characters is that all of them wear glasses in the television world. Naoto's glasses are thick-framed like the other girls, and while the blue color doesn't contrast too well I do approve of them. She has a blue motif overall and the glasses match that instead.
Grade: A-

Face: Sadly this may be Naoto's weakest point, at least for my tastes. The Persona series gives the characters very sharp, defined features which I'm not too fond of. In fact, Naoto's nose looks kinda large which is never a good thing. Maybe it's because her bangs, which are normally hidden under the brim of her hat, can be seen above it though that would be an odd excuse. What saves her a bit is that she does get really cute blushing moments, a nice contrast to her more serious personality.
Grade: C+

: What gives?


: You gave Naoto points for having long hair in the spinoff, but didn't count her better eye shape.

There's a perfect explanation for that. In the images I've seen in the spinoff she's not wearing glasses.

*Ririchiyo facepalms.*

: Of COURSE it would be a stupid reason like that. Heh, to think that a pervert like you would just be satisfied by glasses she only needs to enter dungeons! (Aw man, I'm being mean to Topaz again...)

Don't worry, Riri. I know you said that out of love.

: Grrr, you know me so well!

: Why don't you get back to the blog, Topaz..

Build: Naoto has a basic shape for a reverse trap; she's slender and fairly boyish-looking. We also don't get to see too much of her body either, though she does get caught in the shower in the spinoff. We sadly only see her cleavage and her leg, though her thighs do look nice. Sadly not showing off too often comes with being a reverse trap, and I don't want to count the dancing game as CG doesn't work well in showing off a girl's assets. Apparently she does have soft skin as the girls compliment Naoto in the hot springs. Oh, and before I forget Naoto DOES have a measurement. Sadly it's only her height at 152 cm. This means that she's the shortest girl in the party, so much so that she apparently wears platforms on her shoes. Her love interest Kanji is really tall, especially compared to Naoto, as he stands at 183 cm while Yu, the protagonist, stands at 180 cm.
Grade: B-

Breasts: Naoto is a reverse trap so she binds her chest. However, like a lot of other reverse traps Naoto is pretty busty. Not outrageously, this isn't a ecchi fanservice show, but she is still likely the bustiest girl out of the playable ones. They do bring a lot of attention to it in the hot springs scene especially, and while I don't remember the exact circumstances she does seem to jiggle slightly. At least it's better than another similar reverse trap (I'm looking at you, SHAFT) and is relatively downplayed. Sadly we don't hear her measurements as she puts a stop to Teddie and Rise mentioning them). She does look slightly bigger in the spinoff, but that may just be that she's not as concerned with covering up (as said before she has a nude image as well as wears a bikini). Ultimately, Naoto is good here.
Grade: B

Clothes: Naoto is usually seen wearing the male school uniform. Or at least a modified version. It consists of a black jacket with white shirt underneath, black pants with the bottoms rolled up, and as said before she also wears platform shoes. This is apparently called a “gakuran” so cool. She also wears the female uniform, which is a boring sailor uniform, during one optional scene in the game. Naoto is often seen wearing formal clothing such as blue shirts, ties, and her trademark blue cap. On days off during winter, she wears a dark blue double-breasted cardigan coat (which she says is custom made) with a light blue bowtie (on her white dress shirt underneath) and yellow buttons, and plaid blue pants. In summer she wears a blue dress shirt, yellow necktie, and pants with suspenders. In one scene she also wears a towel and in the epilogue she wears a nice white shirt with pendant. She also wears winter equipment during the ski trip in Golden and she wears an AWESOME suit with necktie in the spin-off. She also wears a bikini as said earlier but in the dancing game her swimsuit is a sukumizu. Speaking of the dancing game it really helps her in this area as she wears a lot of costumes. These include a track uniform, a black cat for Halloween, a reindeer for Christmas, both a butler suit (with necktie) and maid uniform, Marie's outfit from Persona 3, a blue “high-cut” armor that has a frilly shirt and tiny bottom, a Sherlock Holmes-looking detective outfit, a blue Featherman uniform, and a pink shirt with fairy wings and white pants that I think is based on her shadow's outfit (perhaps). Overall she does well here, especially with all the suits.
Grade: A

Personality: Naoto is first introduced as a famous teen detective. A male one, no less, as she thinks that only boys can be detectives as it's a male-dominated occupation. As a result she was raised as a boy and has definite gender problems. It's even the main reason her shadow confronts her and attempts to change her into a guy. Luckily the heroes rescue her in time. She does get better with it as the series goes on, learning to embrace her feminine side without taking away what makes her “her” as well. That said, she is sorta infamous as she's the lone (playable) character in Persona 4 whose social link can be reversed; in it she asks for your help tracking a Phantom Thief and saying she's on her own will completely insult her. She also asks if the protagonist wants her to continue to use “boku” as a pronoun, though this is butchered in the English version by having her try and use a higher-pitched voice instead. I like boku girls so her speech is great. Not only that but her voice in general is really amazing. Romi Park did a good job with her, and even with hiccups her English dub voice isn't terrible (though it is uncredited in the game). Anyway the “boku” question also triggers the Christmas event where she dresses in the sailor uniform which is cool. She's the Wheel of Fortune arcana.
Naoto was raised by her grandfather who is a famous detective. Her parents were also famous, but they were unfortunately killed in a car accident. As a result Naoto is very mature and serious, nearly getting to kuudere levels. She'll say what needs to be said in the least subtle way possible and is very analytic. She's smart and resourceful, and even figured out the plot and set herself up as bait. Her grandfather also suggested that she take piano lessons, which proved useful for Naoto during the Rise concert. Even if she's very mature she still has a shy side. She's not confident in her body and gets embarrassed (at least in the main game). She also has a scared side that's afraid of things like ghosts or ghost stories.
In battle Naoto is interesting. She has a lot of multi-target spells and is the only one (other than the protagonist) that can learn the Light/Dark instant death moves. However, this also means that she's less useful with bosses, and her running out of SP (which is basically magic points) is often a problem. Her persona is Sukuna-Hikona which gets upgraded to Yamato-Takeru. In Golden she also has Yamato Sumeragi and in the spinoff she has Amatsu Mikaboshi. In the fighting game she apparently is a mid-long range character (which makes sense considering she uses a pistol). She also seems to have a “Fate” meter and when built up on the opponent she gets the chance to use one of her instant death attacks. She also deals a bit with Mitsuru from Persona 3 in that game, but I don't know enough about it to describe it well. Overall Naoto is definitely one of my favorite characters from the series.
Grade: A

Libido: Naoto is more concerned with her job than with love. She has many female admirers, which also causes her to win the beauty contest at the school festival. I've also seen her get paired up with Rise, though I don't remember any token scene and just noticed though looking at fanart. In the game Yu can also pursue her, making her one of the potential love interests. In the Golden Valentine's day event she'll give him a kiss on the beach and mentions that he stole her heart (and comments that she wishes he'd take “all” of her). There's also the crush Kanji has on her, though Naoto somehow doesn't notice. I still pair the two though.
Grade: B

Age: Technically Naoto is 15 when the series begins. That said we don't meet with her until September or so. Naoto's birthday is in April, so most of the game she's in she's actually 16. She's still a grade lower than Yu, but is in the same grade as Kanji (who she is technically older than as his birthday is in January of the following year). She also has an official birth year of 1995. By that logic she's 20, but that's also admitting that Ryu was 51 when he joined the Smash crew which is really silly xD. I will say that, with a year between Persona 4 and the spinoff, Naoto is 17 which is just below an “A-” rank for me.
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 80
Average score: 8.8
Final Grade: B+

So what do you think about your final score, Naoto?

: Hmm? I wasn't paying much attention. Y-you didn't say anything perverted, did you?

Not at all!

*Riri shoots Topaz a glare.*

: Well, what are we going to do about this "Midnight Channel" business?

: I did some quick searching and it seems that no one except for the ones who lived in Inaba at that time could have the ability to enter televisions. Is there anyone who might want you destroyed?

Hmmm, I think that both Yukiko and Chie were on good terms with me when I last saw them.

: Technically didn't Chie kick you out of the colluseum? Literally, no less.

Yeah, but she wouldn't have any malice. Hmmm. This is a tough one... WAIT! I know! It's...

Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 12, 12:17 PM | 0 comments
November 5th, 2015

*Topaz is sprawled out on his couch as lazily as possible. He's watching television in a "you work, you lose" shirt. He's so lazy that he's even licking chips off his chest and eating them. Ririchiyo comes bounding in, her finger extended.*

: TOPAZ! This is no way to start out a blog!

But we've been so busy recently. Can't we have a break this week or something?

: There's no reason that you should be this tired though! I mean sure, you did defeat Lunar who was the "Queen" of the Chessmasters last week. But it's not like you did anything. Klan in her giantess form did most of the heavy lifting. You didn't even summon her either, so you don't get that excuse!

Heh, it was funny when she butt punched Lunar. But thanks for doing the review for me.

: Such trickery! But does this mean that you'll take this blog ser-TOPAZ!

*Topaz has two chips in his mouth, imitating a duck bill. Riri slaps them out of his mouth.*

: This is no time to be playing around with food! We've got to get prepared for this week's blog, and there's not even a girl around here! Well, there's me and your other assistants, but still.

Don't worry, I'm sure that a girl will be arriving any minute...

*The front door of Topaz's house opens widely.*

Well, at least it isn't the kitchen again...

???: EMPERORTOPAZ! For your wrong doings I shall arrest you!

Arrest me? But I haven't done anything wrong!

: He's not half as perverted as I make him seem! B-but he does like having me sit on his back...

???: Making a young girl do such naughty things? Do I have to teach you the rules of society?

Rules... of society? Wait, I recognize that voice!

*The mysterious girl enters Topaz's house.*

Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 5, 11:47 AM | 0 comments
October 29th, 2015
Welcome back everyone. Last week we confronted Lunar who was one of the heads of the Chessmasters. She was Queen, if you were wondering. She was about to attack us with a mermaid robot when we were saved by a mysterious giantess. The moon then came out and revealed it to be Klan.

: Fortunately that does not mean that my "moon" came out.

A shame as it would be beautiful. Even now I can see your tight outfit straining to contain your cheeks.


*She attempts to cover her butt and Lunar takes advantage of this, swiping with a mermaid finned fist. Klan staggers backward.*

: OHOHOHO! Seems that you're much less powerful than I expected!

: This is nothing. You should have seen me using my Queadluun-Rea ship!

: Too bad you rushed for a blog and now you're not as powerful!

: A blog... Hey, Topaz!


: Isn't it true that you can power up girls by doing blogs on them?

That I can. But I can't be sure of how much stronger you'd become.

: At this point it doesn't matter! Just do your blog on me!

Certainly! And as you can see...

Today's girl is:

Klan Klang
Macross Frontier

: HEY! Why did you use that image?

Because it's cute and you have your eyes open. Plus I didn't want to use the glasses one on purpose.

: But my butt is showing!

If only, sadly that is only your leg...

: Something tells me you've been hanging around Zettai too much...

I can't be with friends too much! Hey, is that how you spell your name?

: Yeah, why?

Because I've heard it be translated as Klan Klein, and at least one image has it as "Clan Clang".

: Didn't that same image ALSO call Klan a "Childfood friend"? Some English teaching picture that was...

: Enough talking about poor images, I'm going to defeat you NOW!

*Lunar and Klan start battling as Topaz begins his blog.*

Hair: Klan has a very unique hair style. Her hair is a great dark blue, though it is definitely blue and doesn't look black or anything. It's still a great color though. While it's difficult to tell in certain images she also has extremely long twintails. Instead it just looks like she has long hair with a lot of volume. I wouldn't say that this sort of twintails are my favorite, but having her hair so long that it reaches the floor nearly is ALWAYS a good bonus (sometimes it does look like it ends near her knees, but I think that's just because it's wavier than usual at those times). She has a big middle bang and even though she usually wears a headband you can still see the “point”. She also has two bangs that hang over the headband which go into her side-bangs. Said side-bangs also frame her face really nice. As far as decoration goes she wears the aforementioned headband as well as twintail holders with lovely “wings” on them. Overall it's a perfect signature hairstyle for Klan and it fits her extremely well.
Grade: A

Eyes: Klan has green eyes, a color that goes pretty well with her hair. It even has a bit of a lovely gradient to it, making it more interesting than most. Also interesting is that her eyes change depending on which form she's in. As a loli she has the more moe tarame-style while the adult form has the more serious tsurime, which overall really fits her. She also shows a lot of emotion in her eyes, especially in her loli form, and in general looks extremely cute. I can't forget to mention her thunderbolt-like eyebrows either, it's hard to ignore how bushy they look (though this also fits Klan and further shows off how unique she is). In one image she also wears glasses as part of a costume and I do like how they're thick and red but she really needs to push them up. Oh and there was a really awesome effect in her eyes when she goes on a “rampage” near the end of the series (though she had a good reason for it).
Grade: B

Face: Much like Klan's eyes her face is different depending on which form she's in. As a loli she's much cuter and shows more emotion, while as the more serious adult she's, well, more serious-looking. Both look great though, with their own appeal. As a loli she may have a pointed tooth though it's not shown off as much as some other fangs. Both forms also have pointed ears, showing off her Zentradi heritage. As a flaw I will say that her nose is noticeable in both forms. Not that it's big in either form, but the lines are definitely there (especially near the bottom for some reason).
Grade: B

*Klan gets pushed back as Lunar shoots water at her.*


: Quick, use some sort of special move!

:: But I don't have any!

: What kind of mecha pilot are you... Just make something up!

:: Well then, take THIS! HAWK FIST!

*Klan uses her gigantic fist to punch Lunar's machine into the water.*

: Wait, you aren't a not-Hawlucha from Paper Mario!

: Fufufu, you idiot! My mecha does better in water!

*Lunar's mermaid ship does a dolphin-like spin, hitting Klan in the shoulder. She seems unable to use that attack any more.*

: Try something else!

:: Alright then, CRANE KICK!

*Klan puts her hands up and stands on one foot. She then kicks Lunar in the face, or at least the pilot's seat of the mecha.*

: HEY! That seems unfair!

: Shouldn't you be floating when you're doing that. At least your crazy master and his cyborg brother aren't around at least...

:: Enough references, let's get this battle back underway! Topaz, your blog seems to be helping so keep talking!

Of course, let's continue with this blog!

Build: First things first, if you couldn't tell Klan has a giantess form. In fact her race, the Zentradi (or more specifically, the Meltrandi as those are the females), are a species of giantess girls. They seem to be between 8 and 10 meters tall, though sadly there's no specific size listed for her. She doesn't even have measurements which is a shame. She's extremely curvy in this form as well, with shapely legs and nice hips. A shame she doesn't show her butt off in this form more, but I guess she's not like Sheryl's hologram in the first movie. Zentradi also have an ability called “Micronize” which allows them to become human-sized which is useful for many things I imagine. However, Klan has a “genetic defect” in that when she micronizes she turns into a loli. Nothing wrong with beautiful lolis though sadly Klan is missing the fitting hair. She shows off her butt more in this form too, with one Pachinko moment in particular (though she also talks to Mikhail in what appears to be just red buruma which is great). I will say that she does spend more time as a loli, but that's just a problem as far as giantesses are awesome and not a comment on lolis or anything. There is a flashback eyecatch where she's a giant loli and holding a younger Mikhail in a swing.
Grade: A-

Breasts: Klan has something for everyone, being both a busty giantess and a human-sized loli. That said she does have to take the average or so here as I can't judge one form over the other. She does spend more time as a loli, but the giant version tends to get more chest service so it's sort of a wash or so.
Grade: B-

Clothes: Klan is usually seen in her uniform, but has a number of great outfits. The uniform itself consists of a short black jacket over a purple-and-blue bodysuit with shorts, blue gloves, thighhighs with garters built-in and frills, and tall boots. Outside of the boots it's not too bad. In giantess form she has a blue and purple skintight bodysuit which shows off her curves well. She also has fuchsia-like armor as well. She sometimes wears a helmet, especially when going out into space, and I have no idea where her huge hair goes as it doesn't look like it would fit. Klan also has a lot of great casual outfits. The one seen the most in the school uniform (though at least she's in college and not just another high school girl). The uniform consists of an orange vest, red necktie, and matching miniskirt as well as thighhighs. It's a really great uniform. As far as other outfits go, she seems to wear a rocker outfit that looks more like bikini armor in one of the movies (with guitar). As mentioned before there's a time where she only wears a buruma (though we don't see her bare chest, even if she's a loli). In official art it seems that Klan's official color is “orange” as she wears an orange yukata, an orange bikini, and a pair of orange pajamas. She also wears another kind of orange bikini in a slot machine video but skirt-type bikinis should be illegal (though she does wear an inner tube). She also wears a white bikini, a nice wedding dress, a sundress-like dress, a miko though sadly only as a chibi, a Chinese dress-looking waitress outfit with meatbun apron, a prince outfit, a labcoat with red dress, and a magical girl outfit, She also cosplays as a guy from the show named “Jeffery”, and while his old man outfit isn't too great she did wear glasses and a nice captains hat. Overall she's got a great wardrobe but I do wish she would have more in the show itself. Oh, and when in the Micronize-chamber she's naked but nothing much is really shown.
Grade: B

: CRANE KI-Ooops!

*Lunar sweeps Klan's leg, causing her to fall on her butt. Half-fortunately she did not land on Topaz (or Ririchiyo). Klan stands back up, wobbling as pain makes her leg throb.*

: EEeee...

: OHOHOHOHO! Seems that the third savior isn't doing what she's supposed to. How pathetic, fitting for trash like you Topaz!

: Topaz isn't trash, and neither is Klan. Come on, keep pressing forward! You seem to be affecting her nicely!

: That's a good point, so prepare to take my next attack...

*Klan leaps high into the sky, her body being hard to see due to the moon still being full.*


*She then slams down on her good leg, crashing into Lunar. The mermaid robot seems fairly busted up, but Klan's leg also becomes bruised from the impact.*

: Ouch! *pant pant* Seems taking a machine out like this is hard work.

: Of course! Don't Brave Bird everything! You'll take too much recoil!

: My mermaid-bot may not have as much power as it did before. But I still have enough for one good charge!

*Lunar charges at Klan, using bubbles as a jets.*

: Be careful, most of your limbs are damaged and you're too big to fit through her chest!

: Like you should mock others on the size of their chest!

: That's not what I meant!

: Don't worry, I still have one good shot left!

*Lunar nears Klan, soon arriving in arms-length.*


*She reels back and slaps with all of her giantess power. Lunar's mecha gets slammed into a wall, becoming a pile of rubble.*

: YES! I defeated her!

: But that wasn't even a bird! What kind of naming sense do you have? Right, Topaz?

*Topaz's eyes are fixiated on Klan's giantess jiggling body. Riri slaps him on the back of the head.*

Ouch! What was that for?

: Not paying attention to the blog and just caring for jiggly girls.

But giantesses should be appreciated!

: Sure sure, but wait until the blog is finished!

I guess... But luckily we're in the home stretch now!

Personality: Klan, as said before, is part of the giantess race called the Zendradi. She's even the captain of a the Pixie Squadron, a force comprised of all female giantesses. If only it was real-er, getting back to Klan she pilots a powered suit named Queadluun-Rea and is really good at it. She also pilots a VF-25G in the final battle and uses an armored pack in SRW. She's also the childhood friend of Mikhail and is the only one to know his sad past. She doesn't get much development only being a secondary character, but a lot of it is defined by her relationship with Mikhail. It shows as she becomes extremely enraged when he's killed, though it's possible to prevent this in the SRW games. Personality wise Klan is a Zentradi and is an honorable warrior-sort, but she still has a cheerful side and is amazing to watch. She's extremely GAR and her arguments with Mikhail really show their relationship. She might be considered the “classic” version of a tsundere, but I wouldn't define her by that word either. Still, she's easily the best part of Macross Frontier, at least for me. She was easily the best character and being so famous even compared to Ranka and Sheryl really shows it. Megumi Toyoguchi does Klan's voice in both forms, and while I do favor the giant version as it's deeper both voices are beautiful.
Grade: A

Libido: As said before, Klan and Mikhail are childhood friends. Not only that but Klan harbors a long standing crush on him. Eventually she confesses but that's right before he dies which is sad. She's also a bit concerned that he wouldn't appreciate her loli body and he's a bit afraid that he'd be mistaken for a lolicom if he does date her (not that he's afraid but still). Klan still tries and is a pretty nice tease even if he doesn't appreciate Mikhail being a pervert sometimes. Klan also supports Alto in both of his relationships, giving him a lot of advice through the series.
Grade: B+

Age: Klan is a college student and is a fresh 19 year old girl. That's enough to get her a perfect score here, even if the movies place her as a third-year high school girl. Even better is that she's two years older than her love interest Mikhail, and that's the type of relationship I really like. And we can't forget that Klan is a loli-teen when in micro form either.
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 84
Average score: 9.3
Final Grade: B+

And now that the blog is complete, I should be able to glare at Klan as much as I want.

: I never agreed to this!

: Just do it, he doesn't ask for fanservice that much after all. (though I'd rather he ask me-wait, what am I thinking!)

: I suppose, you did score me SLIGHTLY higher than that Zettai guy. But just looking! No touching!


: There will be no giantess looking while I'm still here!

*Lunar bursts out of the rubble holding a beam-gun. She then shoots Klan with a laser and shrinks her back down to loli size.*

: Oh no! I'm a loli!

It's alright, I'll still stare at you...

: That's not the problem! She's sapped a lot of my strength!

: Good, Topaz will look at me-I MEAN what should we do, Topaz!

Well, I recall a certain other girl who was in a similar situation. But it might be a silly idea...

: Anything!

*Topaz whispers to Klan, who becomes flustered.*

: R-REALLY? She did something that perverted?

That's right, though to be fair she's from a show for children.

: Well, if she was able to do that I should be able to...

: OHOHOHOHO! You have nothing to attack me with! Face it, I've won this battle.

: You may have won a few wars but you'll never win the BUTTLE! ...Really Topaz, the lines you give me are awful...

: You should hear his terrible jokes.

: Regardless, face THIS!

*Klan leaps backwards towards Lunar.*

: Wait, what?!?


*Klan reverts only her butt to her giantess size, the rest of her remaining loli-sized. Unfortunately (though fortunate for censorship rules) her outfit grows with her. However, her huge butt, which puts the MAXIMUS into gluteus maximus, is enough to send Lunar flying into the full moon.*


*Sadly Klan returns to normal, but she still is the victor.*

Great job, Klan! I knew you'd use Tsubomi's idea well.

: Right, if only another flower-based Pink Cure would use that Zettai might-AHAHA! Sorry, I couldn't say with a straight face. Not even THAT would make him like her, she's that terrible. Though speaking of Zettai this seems more like something that would happen in his blog.

But I still enjoy it!

: Perverts, the whole lot of you! But I appreciate that you like my loli form just as much.

Of course! Though it would be interesting if you could be a giant loli too!

: Wahaha! You're a fun guy. You know what I'll do for you? I'll tell Nanase to hug Luca extra hard while she's wearing a swimsuit. Hee hee, I remember this one time she leaned over in it and he PRACTICALLY stained his shorts right there. It was hilarious how innocent he is!

Now that would be something I'd love to see...

*Topaz licks his lips.*

: Stop being such a creeper...

Hey, I don't want to hide my true personality, like anyone else I should be free to enjoy things!

: Yeah, but we should be getting home now that Lunar is defeated.

Agreed. It's been a pleasure having you, Klan.

: Thanks, it's been fun having my blog done too! I've been waiting a while since Zettai's blog, after all.

Yeah, sorry about that. I was planning on watching more of the movies, but that wasn't how it turned out.

: Topaz is terrible at time management.

That's right! But I'm just glad that I can dedicate time to my blog every week. Thank you readers, and catch us next time!

Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 29, 9:31 AM | 0 comments
October 22nd, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-sixtieth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. A lot has happened this month, it seems. Just last week I was molested by a snake and threw her out a window!

: Zzzzzz.

: That sounds dirty...

Well, I did throw her out a window. But now it looks like I'll be facing one of the Chessmaster leads. That's right, Queen has revealed herself to be Lunar!

*Lunar ojou laughs.*

: That's right, and this will be the last blog you'll ever do. We'll see to it personally this time!

*Lunar starts to walk down the bleachers in an epic manner, but slips and falls. Her butt hits each step but she eventually ends up in front of Topaz and Riri. She then rubs her butt.*

: Owwww. Now who in their right mind would... Is this PUDDING? Who leaves pudding on bleachers?!?

Pudding.. on the bleachers...

*Topaz remembers earlier in the year...*

Look what I have! Pudding!

*Topaz holds up his pudding proudly, but Ririchiyo knocks it out of his hands.*

Aww man, I was looking forward to eating that!

But that was all the way in January, they should have cleaned it up by now!

: Enough excuses! We know you set up this devious trap! Now, to make me feel better kiss our teenage butt!


: Wait!

: What now?

: He'd like that too much. I mean, he's not Zettai but he can still appreciate butts.

Too late for that!

*Topaz kisses Luna's teen bottom.*

: GRRR! I should have expected you to be a major pervert. Just LOOK at some of your blogs after all!

Not all of them are perverse! In fact, I'll prove it to you now but you have to allow me to do your blog.

: So I have the ability to say "no"?

Not really, I'm just being polite because...

Today's girl is:

Lunar Edomae
Seto no Hanayome

: This seems unfair!

: Topaz, you don't normally go against the girl's wishes like this.

Most girls aren't one of the heads of the resident villain team either.

: Hmmm, that's a good point.

: Well then, let's see how bad you score me because you don't have good taste!

We'll see about that!

Hair: Since Lunar has pink twintails you'd expect her not to score well for my tastes. And that's certainly true. I'm not a big fan of the style, but Lunar's twintails aren't too bad. It helps that they're spiky, it gives off a fuller appearance and I do appreciate that they go past her chin (length is probably the main reason I'd dislike twintails). Her holders are cute as well, with a particular style being black and somewhat frilly. She also has “lower” twintails, with spiky sides at about ear level. They look like catfish whiskers or some other type of mudfish, so I wonder if that was intentional. Lunar's bangs are alright, though she does have the common large middle bang (though she also has two large bangs above each ear as well). Lunar's hair is overall not terrible, but rather it doesn't fit with my tastes.
Grade: C-

Eyes: Lunar also has pink eyes. While they do fit her hair I'm still not too big on the color. Her eyes have a shade that is a bit darker than her hair, which does help. Since I haven't done a Seto no Hanyome character in some time I should explain that the art style tends to use rectangular pupils. Most of the time it includes the colored part, but Lunar only has the black of her eye as a rectangle with the color part being circular. This is really nice as it makes her pupil fit the shape of her eyes better. The sad thing is that this does mean that her eyes are a tarame. A tsurime would have fit her so well! At least there's times when she's showing an approximation of a flat upper eye, and there is a CD cover I think where her eyes are narrowed and she looks incredible! She also has somewhat large eyebrows, not that they're bushy or anything but they are noticeable. She also has hearts in her eyes during one episode; I'm not too fond of them but that's mainly because it's due to the lead drinking a love potion and I'm not too fond of drug-related mind altering, if you understand what I mean (the hearts themselves are fine). The biggest thing I dislike with Lunar's eyes are the times when she's laughing like a maniac. I don't have a problem with ojou laughs, but Lunar has a habit of making her pupils super-small (to the point where they look like white dots). Not only that but they sort of look back, and I'm not a fan of seeing eyes roll back in such a way. Otherwise there isn't too much that's terrible about her eyes, but then again there isn't anything too attractive to them either.
Grade: C

Face: Now Lunar's face is pretty great. The art style certainly helps a lot here, with her cheeks being plush-looking and soft. A cheek blush helps as well, though it isn't constant. Much like most of the girls in the series Lunar has a face shaped like an acorn, which is pretty nice and fits her look very well. As always a small nose helps, and while on some occasions you can see her ears they're normally hidden behind her hair. The manga also gives her an even softer look. Probably the only problem is that the series has a lot of great girls and there's not a lot of variety in the various faces. And I do suppose that with a show like this sometimes they're a bit more “free” with art style so there's probably some silly face that I'm forgetting.
Grade: A-

*A shadowy figure looks at the school from the entrance.*

???: Now... Where to find that Topaz...

*She enters the school grounds.*

Build: Lunar is short and teenage sized. Unfortunately we don't have measurements so I can't exactly be sure on her height, but she's at least shorter than Sun (though not by much). Lunar is the token loli of the series as well, pretty much. And like Sun, if you remember way back, Lunar also transforms when hit with water. Because she's in a different family than Sun her scales are yellow (which is a shame as it would make sense for her scales to match her hair color). Sadly mermaids don't score that well (because that means a lack of legs and butt), but having a human form certainly helps here. It's fortunate as Lunar's legs are really nice, as is her butt. She even sits her butt on the lead's lap to tease him at one point, though sadly the focus isn't on her tushie. The lead, Nagasumi, also gets caught wiping off her butt as that's a running joke in the series (he helps the girls recover from their mermaid state by drying them).
Of course, Lunar's biggest appeal is in her feet. I know that it's strange to hear that about a mermaid, but hear me out. In the anime, at least, she has a lot of times when she grinds her feet against Nagasumi. There's a time when she even gives him a Denki Anma! In fact she even removes her sock to go barefoot, the camera going close in to allow the viewer to appreciate her great toes! I know I should keep this for “libido” but when I first saw this I didn't appreciate it like I can today. Back then I didn't have a clue how great femdom could be, but as one of the first “dominant” girls I say Lunar definitely deserves credit. It's just a shame that the rest of her body has so many problems (the biggest one being the mermaid thing, it really reduces the effectiveness of her great feet).
Grade: B-

Breasts: Lunar is pretty much flat. She does have some chest curve, but unless she's in an outfit that's tight you don't see too much of it.
Grade: D+

Clothes: As an idol Lunar does really great here. She does usually wear the school uniform, or at least the times when she's in school and not out on leave. As it's been a while the Seto no Hanayome uniform consists of a white sailor outfit with brown around the collar and ends of the sleeves. On bottom she has a brown frilled skirt (which is always terrible) and great thighhighs, and I can't forget about the nice red necktie either! The necktie is of course my favorite feature, though to be fair the rest is either drab or terrible. Well, except for her absolute territory as that's gorgeous, especially with legs like she has. If you're wondering, her clothing seems to merge into the tail when she transforms (or at least that's how I understand it). Luckily Lunar has a lot of other outfits. She has a lot of idol outfits to perform in, one nice one being a tight yellow dress and while the skirt-part is frilly it helps that her back is mostly exposed. Another nice one involves devil-like wings, fitting as Lunar has a lot of similarities both looks and personality wise with Etna from Disgaea. Other outfits include a sports bra-only while exercising in mermaid form, a great amount of casual outfits, a waitress/maid outfit with yellow bow-ribbon in the OVA, a blue yukata in the Movie Village episode, and a gym uniform with red buruma. She also wears a Japanese wedding kimono at one point, a shame that it's not a wedding dress. She does wear one, but it's pink and I'm not sure how official it is. Official art also adds plenty of outfits. This includes a yellow bikini as well as a white one, a blue yukata, a moe shirt with yellow shorts, a Santa outfit with “Lunar” written on the cool hat, and a yellow gymnast outfit. She also wears a mage's outfit on one of the manga covers, but considering the series hasn't been translated for some time I have no idea why. Overall she has a great set of outfits though they could still improve.
Grade: A-

*Meanwhile, inside the school hallways a shadowy loli is looking through the classrooms.*

???: Where could he be? I've finally been able to meet with him and this is the welcome I get? The white-haired maiden told me I could find him here!

*She continues to search.*

Personality: First off I will mention about Lunar's name, as I forgot to do so prior. Due to the difficult kanji people thought that Sun's name was “San” and that Lunar's name was “Runa”. Both of these spoil the jokes and that's worth complaining about. I would say that “Luna”, without the r, could be a stand-in, but I don't know Japanese well enough. Now that that's out of the way I can finally talk more about Lunar. We first hear about Lunar as an idol that Nagasumi, among a lot of characters, are fans of. She's an extremely cutesy variety as well. However, he didn't realize that Lunar was ALSO a mermaid. This means that she has mermaid traits, as explained before with the shape-shifting but she also has a fear of cats and a super sonic voice. Not only that, but she's a rival to Sun. I don't mean that their families are at war (though that certainly counts), but Lunar seems to have a vendetta against Sun. They're technically childhood friends, and her one-sided rivalry goes all the way back to when Sun beat her at a singing competition. She always wants to overshadow Sun, but due to circumstances never seems to come out on top. On the other hand Sun didn't realize their rivalry and just thought Lunar was a friend. She does eventually get better as the series goes on, but that does mean that she's a tsundere and those aren't often great. While I wouldn't say that Lunar is a big exception she does have a lot of great moments. Most of my previous dislike of her, mainly from me preferring Sun and the two being rivals, has washed away and I can finally see the appeal Lunar has. You see, when she arrived she split the school into anarchy which is something I really don't enjoy. I also have a great appreciation for ojous like she is, especially because she seems to use ojou speech (or at least uses the royal “we” and similar things. I'm not good enough at Japanese to tell unless the subs point it out). She also has an incredible ojou laugh, other than the eye thing I mentioned earlier. And the episode where she uses Maki, a miniature person, to help her with a puppet act is still the reason I appointed the show with my first perfect “10” rank. Lunar is also poor at school, partially because she misses so much when she's off doing idol things but she doesn't seem too smart as at one point ALL her tests come back as zeroes. I'll also add that her father is the Terminator, which is hilarious when he tried to get closer to his daughter by dressing up as a female classmate. Lunar's reactions were amazing though xD. Speaking of Lunar's family the reason she became an idol, in addition to trying to outdo Sun, was so that her mother could see her. In my research I learned that the manga finally explains where her mother went. Apparently she's in jail because she tried to run Lunar's father over in a car and other things, trying to get him to stop picking his job over his family. She did have the option of dropping it, but went to jail out of spite. Overall Lunar isn't a bad character, it's just that there's so many other great characters that Lunar gets somewhat lost in the mix.
Grade: B-

Libido: As said back in “body” Lunar does have a fairly great libido. While she butts heads with him she does eventually really care for Nagasumi. It helps now that I can appreciate her wanting him to be her “servant” more. She also has great foot-work, as stated before but I figured I'd mention how amazing it seems. A pretty big problem would be that, prior to accepting these feelings, she attempted to steal Nagasumi away from Sun just to spite her childhood rival. Luckily Sun intervenes. That said I'm not sure how the series finishes so it's possible for him to still have a harem at the end. Lunar does seem to be “yandere” at times, but most of those times she's not hurting him too badly and is likely under the influence of something. I'll also add that she might have something for Sun, but it's mainly because the two are rivals.
Grade: B

Age: Lunar, like the other girls, is in middle school. I estimate that she's between 14 and 15, considering they become third-years in the OVAs. Still, at least she looks her age and not like a high school student (not that there's anything wrong with high school lolis, but you know what I mean).
Grade: C

Total Grades: 59
Average score: 6.6
Final Grade: B-

: GWWAAAH! That's a horrible score!

It's not too bad. It's at least higher than Chinatsu or certain predictions.

: You even squeaked by with a B!

: Barely! And as I said earlier, you're horribly biased against beautiful girls! Especially middle school students like me!

Hey, while I do enjoy curvy middle school students there's nothing wrong with slender ones like you or PreCures. If anything I wouldn't be as confused by your costars if that was what happened.

: Though it's still better than having a fifteen year old tanned blonde with mammoth curves the likes of which are usually reserved for a certain extremely busty mother.

I told you not to watch that show, Ririchiyo...

: I'm not, thank Arceus. I only know from your conversations with Zettai.

: Oh yeah? Well explain why you dislike my hair!

I judge based on length, which is hard to tell with twintails. It helps if the said twintails are low-hanging like with Sumire's athletic version too. I will admit that I don't like pink though. That's why I like twintails like Azusa from K-On.

: W-well, you'd rather see me as a fat cow with massive breasts, wouldn't you!

Of course-

: SEE!


: Bringing up that 90's joke it seems.

Hey, she interrupted me mid-sentence. But no, as I said before there's nothing wrong with flat chests. It's not like I'm Ihop or something...

: Zettai won't get that joke about the controversial tweet... Besides, I know you like "cows" as you enjoyed that one moment in the final Lotte book. Even if you would have preferred the tanned-skin girl instead!

T-this isn't the time to bring that up...

: It's not my fault that you decided to "milk" your "tower" so much to that!

Hey, that was far from the only scene!

: Ugh, don't remind me...

: A~HEM! Sorry to interrupt your perverted tea party, but we've got a FIGHT to start now!

Do your worst!

: Oh I will...

*She kicks off a shoe.*


*Lunar pushes Topaz over onto his back and pulls up his ankles. She then grinds her foot against his crotch, stomping hard and dealing 5 damage.*


: This is for MY unfairly biased blog!

*Lunar's strike continues, dealing 5 more damage.*


: And this is for Hibari being unfairly biased!

*Lunar's strike continues, dealing 5 more damage.*


: And this is for Nico being unfairly biased!

*Lunar's strike continues, dealing 5 more damage.*


: And this is for poor Chinatsu still having the lowest score because you're an idiot!

*Lunar's strike continues, dealing 5 more damage.*


: And THIS is for all those other poor middle school girls from shows for girls whose hearts you crush because you're a mamocentric idiot!

*Lunar's strike continues, dealing 5 more damage.*


: Technically that last one is only "sometimes", but great vowel effects.

*Lunar finally releases Topaz, who then goes in the fetal position for a short time. He tears up, but eventually stands back up while staggering a bit.*

Don't think that such sexy punishment is enough to sway me!

: And I doubt this is what Zettai meant by wanting to see you get attacked, well, "there"...

It still hurt! Felt good, but it did hurt!

: Oh no! He's a masochist!

And getting away from that, if a girl works hard enough even beautiful lolis can get a great score!

: Name one!

*Topaz points to Riri with both hands.*

: You'll fluster me. But indeed, even with Topaz's unfair bias I managed to appeal to him so well that I even became an assistant!

: You're just a dumb exception!

Riri is not dumb!

: Topaz...

And for insulting her, I'll do this! Ahhhh!

*Topaz headbutts Lunar and pushes her back into the pool. She lands with a loud splash and sinks.*

: I hope you didn't get hurt from that attack, Topaz!

Don't worry, it's not like I had an afro wig or something. Come on, let's go home.

: Sounds like a good plan...


*Lunar emerges from the pool in a mermaid-like mecha.*

: Oh no! Splash Woman!

Go back to Denmark, you poser!

: Mwahaha! You'll never be able to defeat my anti-summon armor!

Let's see about that!

*Topaz attempts to summon, but it forces him to stand still.*

: Oh no! You're totally unguarded while charging! I hope that Lunar doesn't throw a small boy through your chest! (Great, he made me use "small boy" and "chest" in a sentence...)

: Nothing fancy like that, just this: BEAM SPAM!

*Lunar shoots out a few beams. Fortunately she has poor aim and they miss both Riri and Topaz. Topaz's concentration is still broken.*

Oh no! I've lost my connection!

: That sounds bad! Granted I'd be able to do the same thing if I bent over, but still!

: What are you talking about, it's GREAT for ME! Now to end you... Say your prayers, Topaz!

*Lunar charges up a rocket punch and aims at Topaz. Her crosshairs are on Topaz and her finger looms ever closer to the button. Suddenly, right as she's about to press it the giant robot gets tackled by an equally-giant humanoid.*


*Riri and Topaz soon realize that they've been saved by a giantess.*



: Tsukiko? Wait, no, Zettai already met with her and she seemed reformed after that.

???: That's right, but Zettai DID do me some time ago...

W-wait... It can't be...

???: That I am...

*The moon comes out from behind the clouds, making it more apparent who the mysterious giantess saved Topaz.*
Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 22, 9:35 AM | 0 comments
October 15th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.


*A large serpent's tail is wrapped around Topaz's face, keeping him from talking. It's also wrapped around his body so he attempts to struggle himself free.*

: What Darling means is this: After doing a lot of silly nurses he's decided to come and do a blog on ME, Miia. I'm his favorite of course, so it's only to be expected that he does me as his very last blog. After this he'll stop all this blog nonsense and he'll go home and be a family man. With me as his wife, of course. Isn't that right, Darling?


: Oh, how rude of me. I suppose that we can't do the blog with you tangled up like this.

*Miia slowly unwraps his mouth.*


*She quickly tightens it, seeing how Topaz was about to scream for help. She deals 20 damage with the constriction, his body trembling from the tightness.*

*In the halls.*

: Hmmm... I thought I heard Topaz somewhere. I hope he's not getting into trouble!

*Ririchiyo runs and tries to inspect each room.*

: TOOOPPAAZZZ!!! Grrr, I really shouldn't be yelling randomly like this. What am I, a preschool father trying to look for his PK-powered daughter?

*Back upstairs.*

: Shhh... You don't want to be found, do you? If you do, I'll do... something... nice...

*She continues to lick Topaz's ears. Beads of sweat form as he is forced to endure.*

: Ufufufu, seems you've got quite the "Solid Snake" here. Perhaps I'll be "Naked Snake"...

*She attempts to undress but Topaz shakes his head "no".*

: You're no fun... Alright, I'll let you go to do my blog, but ONLY if you promise not to scream.

*Topaz nods his head, so Miia loosens her tail. She's a bit nervous when it gets to the point where he yelled previously. Topaz doesn't make a noise. She eventually totally frees him, allowing him to gasp for air.*

Finally! I can breathe again! But as Miia said...

Today's girl is:

Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou

Hair: Miia has some pretty great hair, color aside, for my tastes. Her hair is long, extending past her waist (though, considering her body length that's not “long” but still). It's also mostly straight, extending from her head down without much width. She does have pretty nice bangs, though she does have a long point in front that goes to her nose or so. With her long sides it also seems that her bangs make an “M” shape (no doubt for “Miia”). It's not as noticeable in the anime art, though. While Miia's hair is red, a color I normally dislike, it fits her better than most. It does match her scales as well. There's also two non-hair points of interest I'll mention. First off is that Miia is known for her half-circle D-like hairpieces. They're gold/yellow so they stand out as well. Her ears are also pointed, which is odd as normally snakes don't have large ears. It's not like Cerea, the centaur, who has horse-ears, or Mero's fins so I guess this is just to show she's supernatural. I don't mind, of course.
Grade: B-

Eyes: Much like rolling natural ones on two six-sided dice, Miia has snake eyes. They're definitely tarame and have a lot of eyelashes, though it's not too noticeable. Her eyes are also golden, which are one of my least favorite colors. I would say that they don't fit Miia as well as they would, say, a kuudere. The bigger problem is that her eyes, much like a snake's, are slit in the middle. No, I don't mean that they're damaged (thankfully), but rather instead of a round pupil hers are more of a vertical oval. At least the black portion, I mean. What definitely helps Miia out is the date-spying chapter as she wears under-frame glasses in a disguise. She looked wonderful like that and she should wear them more! There's also a time when she wears them as a teacher, which was nice, though that pair was a thin-framed variety.
Grade: B-

Face: I suppose I could have mentioned Miia's ears here too, but oh well. Miia has a really nice face, with small features and a dot nose. Like most of the characters in the series she has a cute blush at times. Her chin is pretty pointed, but not too extremely. She's pretty but somewhat generic beauty-wise compared to the other girls. That said Miia does have some Lamia features in her face as well. She has scales on her cheeks that look like steps. She also has a fang, but considering she's an actual predatory creature I can sort of forgive that. She also has a long forked tongue, which like a snake she can smell through. It's so long that in a comic where she's drooling it reaches her chest! Overall she has a lot of interesting points, but none that are really that appealing to me.
Grade: B+

: Lies! I know Darling loves my long tongue!

O-okay, so I do. It's cool that it's a bit prehensile, but still.

: You want me to do kinky things with it like lick your nipples or.... fufufu “more”.

*Topaz blushes and averts his eyes.*

N-n-not at all. B-but let's get back to the blog.

: Of course, I want everyone to know how great Darling thinks I am!

Build: I'm sure that everyone has been waiting for this. If you couldn't tell, Miia has a very unusual body shape. One that I can imagine my friends really don't like...

: Hey! I do TOO have a butt!

Seems someone has been reading my blogs. But I meant more because you lack legs.

: Gwaaah! Why does Darling have a LEG fetish!!

*Miia messes up her hair in frustration.*

And it's not like you have much of a “butt” either. Sure you've got a human-style buttcrack but you don't even have much for buttcheeks as it becomes your tail on the sides of your hips! Oh, I should mention the obvious; Miia is a Lamia. As such her lower half is that of a serpent. Her serpent tail is also reeeaallly long. Usually Miia stands at 173 cm, but from the top of her head to the tip of her tail she's between 8 meters long, with about 7 of that being in her tail. This means that she can wrap around the lead for sexy or cute fun. She does accidentally choke him sometimes which is bad, but otherwise it sounds great. I should mention that there was a dakimakura created of her that was full-length and was really expensive because of how custom it had to be. Though Miia does have measurements, not too unusual considering how fanservice-based this series is. Anyway her three measurements are 86/55/90. Pretty cool that she's hippier, but sadly not having a standard butt does hurt her a lot there. Her weight is also a secret. She says in an omake that she's especially proud of her waist, mostly because she has to wiggle it to move. She does have a pretty sexy-looking stomach though. There's also a few interesting points about the lamia body as well. First off is that Miia sheds and there's a whole chapter where the lead has to help her. It's cool as it shows that the “monster” part can also be treated as sexy. I think her applying lotion in one of the mini-episodes was for this purpose, and I found it cute that she was wiped out after rubbing her entire body. She's also cold-blooded which means that when she gets cold she starts to feel tired and wants to hibernate. Finally, much like a Deviluke the tip of her tail is extremely sensitive, and a lot of tugging can make Miia orgasm. Overall, while I have nothing against Miia and her lamia body it just doesn't score that well here. She's missing many points that I would judge like legs or butt and the lamia-specific traits, while interesting, don't make up for that. Poor snek.
Grade: D+

: “Snek”? Don't you mean “snake”? And I'm not a snake either!

“Snek” is a term used to refer to you, created by the internet. I can't tell if it's a term of endearment or insult.

: It must be a term of endearment as I can't see Darling saying anything else about me! So what else does the internet say about me?

...Do you really want to know?

: Of course!

S-snake Cloaca

: What was that? Speak up!

S-snake Cloaca!

*Miia is stunned and covers her face in embarrassment.*

: W-what?

You see, the Cloaca is a posterior orifice that serves as the only opening for the intestinal, reproductive, and urinary tracts of certain animals, snakes included, and-

: I KNOW THAT! B-but why would they bring that up ?!?

Because the internet is crazy. But that does remind me about something they touch on, or to be more precise something your “Darling” touches. Miia is a Lamia yes, but she DOES have the ability to mate with humans and her, well, “opening” is still where it would be on a human female (or so).

: Why is everyone so confused about Lamias?

I imagine it's because there's a lot of confusing mythos about it. Plus in Dungeons and Dragons you wouldn't even be a “Lamia”. That's reserved for centaur-like lion combinations. You'd probably be closer to a Naga or even a Yuan-ti.

: You're just making up words now!

No, really! Though the Yuan-ti are copyrighted by Wizards, they probably are closer to what you are than the “lamia”. Though certain varieties are silly; can you imagine having snake heads as HANDS!

: That sounds ridiculous! How would I cook for Darling like that?

Probably terrible, but not that much different than usual...

: Harumph! Just go back to your dumb blog!

Alright, let's continue.

Breasts: As Miia's human part includes her upper body and torso, she has breasts despite being a snake. She's fairly busty as well, being a 86 cm F-cup. They're also really nicely shaped and I like how her nipples are drawn. At least in the manga, the anime is a bit generic with them but the manga does a great job of shading and such. Both of the chest itself and the nipples. In fact, one of the reasons I like the series so much is that they do breasts and nipples so well. Miia also marshmallows a lot and has a lot of chest service, though I suppose it's fitting considering her lower half isn't as friendly to fanservice.
Grade: A-

Clothes: Miia has a surprisingly varied wardrobe. Sadly she doesn't have “one” token outfit, but she does wear a lot of casual outfits. She mainly uses the combination of shirts and skirts as the latter are easier with her bottom half. She also wears napkin-looking stickable panties, mostly because her anatomy is too unusual for regular panties. This does mean that she goes nopan in back. For her most famous outfit it consists of a front-tied yellow top and jean-looking skirt. She also has worn a pink kimono, naughty nighty, naked apron (though sadly not from the back), nurses outfit, and a few varieties of bikinis. She's also worn a Solid Snake cosplay for jokes as well as a waitress-like outfit as a disguise. She also wears a wedding dress in the anime, which was great. Overall, she has some strong points but her regular clothes are underwhelming which is quite unfortunate.
Grade: B

: First you insult lamias, then you say say the outfits Darling so lovingly altered aren't interesting! That's it, you're going to get crushed!


*Miia hugs Topaz tighter, nearly crushing him. He imagines his bones breaking, and while they don't he still takes 20 damage. Topaz thinks to himself “there's got to be some way out of this.” He grabs the nearest thing, but in his hand is the tip of Miia's tail.*

: D-Darling! Don't be so forward, and be careful with.. Ohhh~

*Topaz starts stroking Miia's tail vigorously. However, as this blog must remain decent please enjoy this music instead.*

*After listening the blog returns to Miia and Topaz. Miia is panting and has loosened her tail from around his body.*

: O-oh, Darling. I wouldn't have expected you to be such... an expert... *pant pant*.

Well then, you may want to thank Centorea for that.

: Oh? Why would that be?

Let's just say that she helped me to, er, “practice” on my own “tail”... Though to be fair you were helpful as well.

: I'm not sure I understand, but alright.

If you're no longer angry, may I continue with the blog?

: S-sure...

Personality: Miia is Kimihito's initial ward and as the first girl she's presumed to be the closest one to him. I will mention that a lot of her points will be in the next section as well. Overall Miia is the cutesy type of lead, a bit bubbly and happy to be living with her Darling. She gets jealous when other girls are spending too much time with him, and is the fairly clingy to him. She's a bit hotheaded and fiery, but she does have a very cute side. She is pretty strong and her lamia abilities give her a strong tail slap. She's really flirtatious and is definitely the one that tries to get the lead's attention the most. She'll likely win (as the “first” girl and she's often used as the poster girl as well), and despite a somewhat basic personality (at least compared to the others) I still like her a lot. It's helped that she's really cute when she's in a romantic mode. She has a lot of fantasies involving her and the lead getting together in the end. She calls him “Darling” as well. I should also mention that Miia can't cook. It's a shame as she tries to be a good wife for him and that's a flaw that's far too common. At least the reasoning, that because Miia is a carnivore her taste buds are weaker than a humans, is more reasonable but that doesn't explain why she does things like add white chocolate or white icefish to white rice or adds peanut butter to miso soup.
Surprisingly the show got an anime earlier this year, which was really unexpected but excellent for my blog. Especially because Miia is voiced now and I can talk about that. Her VA is Sora Amamiya, a relatively new VA though she did do Akame from Akame ga Kill (among other lead roles from series I haven't watched). I would say that she voices Miia really well. It's very beautiful and fits her well. I especially love how she says “Darling” in the opening song, it just fits Miia really well.
Grade: B

Libido: Miia's libido is really high, which is to be expected as the very first scene in the series involves her sleeping in the lead's bed with her body wrapped around him. She hugs him tight a lot and teases him as well. She also tries to have intercourse with him, even if it's outlawed for inter-species relations. She really wants to marry him, and she's not quiet and is the main one to climb into his bed (at least until Rachnera comes). That said, her feelings aren't just out of lust. She has really fallen for her Darling and respects him waiting, most of the time at least. She does get more aggressive in the full moon like the other girls. In a later chapter it's also learned that the reason Miia joined the cultural exchange is that she was told to find a husband and take him back home to her village to be used for “breeding purposes”. She doesn't follow that old custom, but she's a very passionate snek anyway. There's one chapter where she lays down and asks the lead to take her virginity, and that's still considered fairly conservative by lamia standards it seems! It helps that this series is mostly about girls being aggressive towards a male as that's always great.
Grade: A

Age: I have in my notes that Miia is 17, but I have no clue where it's referenced. All I do know is that she's old enough to go off on her own and is likely at least college-age.
Grade: A-

Total Grades: 73
Average score: 8.1
Final Grade: B

: HEY! What's up with the score!

Hey, it's a fair score.

: I suppose, but there's so many girls higher than me! Why can't Darling accept my feelings!?!

*Miia starts to wrap around Topaz's body again.*

: I guess I'll just have to prove it to you and rape you here!

You can't do that! This blog is mostly safe!

: You think you can lie to me? Especially because what you did earlier!

Yeah, but that sort of thing doesn't come around very often. Besides, I don't have a warning and something bad may happen if we go too far!

: Well then, let's turn out the lights and turn off the blog camera or whatever.

It's not that easy.

: Then let's put a show on for them, Darling!

*Miia hugs Topaz close to her body. He looks around for a way out, and actually sees one.*

I don't want to do this, but you've left me no other choice.

*Topaz pushes against Miia, pressing her long body against the wall.*

: For someone who likes aggressive girls you're sure seeming to want to dominate me...

It's not that, it's THIS!

*He pushes hard against her body, breaking the window behind them. It shatters and they fall out of the school. Luckily they both land in the school pool.*


*Fortunately Topaz is able to pull Miia's body up to the shore. He exerts a lot of power dragging her up in her entirely, his heart beating rapidly.*

: W-why would you do ...that....so tired...

*Miia shivers, cold from both the pool water and the cool October winds. Topaz lays her down on a nearby bench.*

Well, that's done with and all that I have to do now is-


*Ririchiyo runs towards him.*

: Are you alright? I heard glass shatter!

Yep, it seems that Miia kidnapped me but I managed to free myself.

: W-well, seems that I'm not needed then.

*Topaz rubs the cute loli's head.*

Nonsense, you're a great assistant.

: I-I knew it, you couldn't do anything if I wasn't around!


*Suddenly an ojou laugh is heard.*

Where's that coming from?

: I don't know!

*Miia, still mostly-asleep, speaks.*

: Queen...

: QUEEN?! Isn't that one of the highest ranks of Chess? Or a classic rock band you really like?

That it is. No doubt she'll cause a lot of trouble. But who could it be?

Queen: Perhaps THIS will jog your memory!

*One of Topaz's previous blogs is projected on the other side of the pool, against the school.*

: What's this blog from?

It was one of my early ones. But what could this be?

Queen: Well, I guess that hint is a bit difficult. After all, this was from when you were still refusing to do a normal, non-glasses wearing girl like an IDIOT!

Hey! Glasses are great!

Queen: Of course you'd say that, you silly fetishist! Your scores have been biased from the beginning!

I will say that a lot of early blogs weren't very good. But I've gotten a lot better, both from my storytelling and my friend Zettai making me not as dumb!

: Not "AS" dumb. N-not that you're dumb, I-I just wanted to make a joke...

Don't worry, I appreciate it.

Queen: *Groannn* PLEASE! I'm sure you remember THIS important blog...

*She clicks a button and the next blog appears.*

: Doesn't seem that important. Again your early blogs were really terrible.

Certainly, but very few things are impressive in the beginning. Things take time to create stories and such!

Queen: You're still not getting things! You've GOT to realize who I am after THIS blog!

*She clicks for the next blog as well.*

: You know what, I think you've written more in this blog just AFTER the blog than you have for the ENTIRE blog back then. No wonder Masuzu was so angry at you.

Even if they're short I'm still proud of them! Mostly, at least.

Queen: Can't you realize who I am yet so I can come out of the shadows?!

I suppose that you can, LUNAR!


*The twintailed mermaid emerges from the booth.*

: OHOHOHOHO! Seems that the foolish perverted blogger has finally figured it out. Yes, I'm here to extract my revenge!

But why?

: Can't you see why? Because you did almost EVERY girl from my series, even one WITHOUT A NAME, and forgot all about me! Not only that, but you had a free pass what, in the fifth year I think? The one with the month where you reviewed previous girls. But no, you couldn't come back to MY series even though it's one of your favorites! You even INSULTED me in the comments in Sun's blog!


: Does it really matter? (I want to make a "comic sans" joke but we're neither in a comic and I don't want to stoop to Topaz's level.)

But I was waiting to finish the manga!

: Well then, why didn't you?

Stupid translators didn't finish the eight book, and that's not counting that the last volume wasn't even started yet!

: This is no time to complain about free entertainment, Topaz...

: Of course, now that I've confronted you I'll force you to do my blog!

But I already did Miia's blog this week!

: EH? You defeated Left Knight? But without the third savior you'll never be able to defeat me! Our battle shall occur next time, and I'll show you the wrath all these past years of ignoring have given me! OHOHOHOHO!
Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 15, 10:02 AM | 0 comments
October 8th, 2015
Anime Relations: Kagaku na Yatsura
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. Apparently I was able to defeat Bombos at the end of last month. However, it took the rest of my remaining strength. Luckily Ririchiyo was there and rescued me from an explosion. Not only that but she was able to bring me to Nurse Hitomi and Touko to get patched up. Touko also gave me a potion to stop my heart from beating fast.

: Glad to hear that you've gotten better since last week.

Of course, I'm full of energy now!

: Be careful as you may still be feeling the effects of the medication.

: Naw, he was able to do your blog last week. Let him do mine this time.

: But what if...

: He's fine, fine. What happens happens.

Does that mean I have permission to talk about you?

: About me? Are you sure that you know enough about me?

: Don't worry, that hasn't stopped Topaz before.

*Riri glares at Topaz.*

Yeahhhh... I deeply apologize for the hasty Tsubasa blog. Though at least my Snow Black one was a bit better, who knew THAT would be getting another season!

: Considering how much better it is than SAO it better get a movie as well!


: Hey, I'm not hearing you talk about me.

Sorry about that. We got distracted talking about my failings.

: Certainly, you mamocentric-minded moron who made it so that beautiful flat girls are unfairly biased against! Like a Blue Cure! Non-Aqua, at least...

I was young and stupid back then! Well, stupid at least and younger...

: Hey, speaking of "younger" I'm not getting any. How about you get going on your blog about me?

Er, sorry for all the distractions. But it seems...

Today's girl is:

Touko Hizuki
Kagaku na Yatsura

Hair: Touko has a pretty good head of hair. It's mostly black, though the anime seems to give it a dark purple shade instead (the color manga covers give her black so it's not just the monochrome nature of manga doing that). Either way the color is nice. Her hair is also really long, going past her hips but fortunately it doesn't seem to cover her butt most of the time. It's surprising as it seems to be really full of volume, but it's bandaged into a really thick ponytail in the back so that may be the reason why. It gives the impression that her hair falls straight down, which is one of my favorite hair styles (and more so on girls with dark hair). She has fairly long bangs, with the middle bang itself going all the way to her chin or so. She does have a slight part above her right eye, it seems. Her sides are also long, extending to her chest and being somewhat spiky. Her hair also has the odd parts sticking out the sides, somewhat plant-like though hard to describe. For a decoration Touko sometimes wears a cowgirl-ish hat, something not seen often outside of Western or homage series. Overall Touko's hair is nearly perfect, but her bangs are probably the only problem.
Grade: A

Eyes: Touko has really slim, tsurime eyes that look really nice. They do have sharp corners, and for an anime character they do seem smaller than normal. It's possible that's just the art style, but Touko being more mature may have something to do with it too. They're red, but with her dark hair color the fit her very well. Probably Touko's strongest point here is that she also wears glasses. Sadly it's mostly just in her “nurse” mode, and they're thin-framed glasses, but I do think it improves her look drastically.
Grade: A-

Face: Sadly Touko suffers a lot in this area. Like with her eyes she seems more mature than the other girls, and the art style doesn't lend itself to be to my liking most of the time. Touko's nose is pretty apparent, unlike than her sister's. Touko also has a pointed chin. Overall there's not much to like about Touko's face. Not that she's ugly or anything, she's just a bit too serious and mature for my tastes.
Grade: C+

Build: At first look you can tell that Touko is an extremely curvy girl. She is top-heavy though, especially in the anime, which is really unfortunate. That said she does have some appealing points. While not exactly sexy it is cool that she's able to turn invisible. She also has a somewhat well-toned stomach, and with her sarashi and dark hair I compare her to Daidouji from Senran Kagura (though Touko certainly isn't THAT ab-tastic). Touko's butt and thighs are also nice and thick. She also shows, well, let's call it her “mound of venus”, due to having an open zipper. I did some research that involved looking through the raws of the further books (only the first of six has been translated) and I eventually came to two great points. The first is that she has measurements! Touko is 176 cm tall and her three sizes are 97/61/92. Again it is really unfortunate that she's so busty, and while I can forgive a difference of 5 the series really doesn't do her any favors as she's extremely busty and it shows. That said I do have to commend them somewhat for not falling into the 90 hip barrier and giving Touko a pretty sizable bottom. It looks really meaty which is awesome. Oddly enough her sister Ayana is even curvier if shorter (she's 160 cm and her measurements are 108/59/99. Curse you 100 hip barrier continuing to not be surpassed).
The second thing is that Touko's weak point is her butt.

: Wait what? I know teachers tend to have great butts but even then you don't hear about girls who have sensitive butts!

I know! And finding that out was one of the reasons that I felt inspired to do Touko's blog. And believe me, they do take advantage of it! Okay, so the anime is horribly mamocentric (to the point where one of Touko's butt shakes is part of a panoramic where she also jiggles her chest AND there's “oppai” written in English in the background behind her), but the manga is a bit more fair. A bit, but there are a few good scenes here and there, such as one point where she gets an enema or a sword hilt is shoved into her butt to make her lose a battle. There's even an omake where she considers using a beaded “toy” to play with herself. Sadly she gets caught and uses it to tease her sister instead. Overall, while helpful, these scenes don't take away from how much more attention her chest seems to get (or, more likely, her sister gets). Touko has a great body, but she could definitely use a bigger butt.
Grade: B

Breasts: Kagaku na Yatsura, the OVA, was made by Hoods. If you know that company you should know what's coming up. If you're not familiar with their work let's just say that they have a very signature style when it comes to chests. This means that Touko has a VERY meaty chest with extreme chest animation, to the point where shifting her weight is enough to cause a massive jiggle. And she also has the floppy sound effects which, while better than the “boing” sound effects almost every other studio uses, is still gross to me. If you can't tell, I should say outright that Touko has very big breasts, bordering on the “huge” category though her sister is definitely in that area. They're so meaty that, when she puts the lead's hand on her chest, it seems to melt into her massive flab. If only shows could do this with butts too (and Touko would have been a sexy example for that). I.. I did kinda like that, but still, my point holds that this art style has a lot of problems. As this series is an ecchi one (bordering HARD on hentai) Touko does show her nipples. Sadly they're quite large, as is another product of Hoods as her nipples seem better in the manga (they're extremely excessive in the anime while somewhat cute in the manga). As said before her chest size is 97 cm and she's an I cup. There's also a point in the anime where she gets slipped a potion of sensitivity and her breasts become the main target. Overall, while in another manga Touko's body may have worked Kagaku is a horrible series and I'll explain that further.
Grade: C+

: I imagine that Topaz is only grumpy because Ayana steals all the paizuri scenes for herself.

I won't comment on that fact...

: Bwahaha! What a pervert!

: Er, what's this "Pie-zuri"?

: Well, you see, it's like wearing a necktie or stethoscope but...

*Touko whispers in Hitomi's ear. The monoeye blushes and covers her face with her hands.*

: I-I see, I didn't realize that... er...

N-not that I want anything like that now! My blogs are clean as a whistle!

*Both Topaz and Hitomi are flustered.*

: A shame, I'd be up for it. And from the looks of things it seems YOU are as well, fufufu.

*Topaz covers his crotch with his hands.*

Sorry, it's just that talking about that put ideas in my head.

: C'mon, just let me and Hitomi "relieve" you!

: Don't talk for me, Touko! T-though it does sound like fun. But no, it's too perverted and I shouldn't take advantage of a patient...

: Both of you two need to take cold showers! Even you Hitomi, you're starting to drool!

*Hitomi wipes her mouth.*

: How very unbecoming of a teacher...

: Now, why don't you get back to that blog of yours?

I suppose I should. Hopefully it will help me calm down more.

Clothes: Touko has very little variety with her clothing. In fact the main reason I wanted to research the future chapters was to see if her outfits improve or not. The first outfit we see her with, and the only outfit used in the anime, involves her using her bandages as a sarashi. Though it's not extremely helpful as they're so tight that you can see her nipples through them. She also wears bandages on her thighs and shins. On bottom she wears very tiny red shorts, looking almost buruma-like though the open zipper in front and the fact she has a (undone) black belt shows that it's more than just that. She also keeps brown pockets like a holster around her hips, and she also wears a lab coat (though, unlike another lab coat school nurse Touko actually shows her butt). She also wears a pendant with a long crystal for even more chest focus. Fortunately this mostly-poor outfit is replaced in the eleventh chapter or so and on. Touko then wears a tied dark midriff-showing shirt, jeans with a thong under them, and a brown jacket instead of the lab coat. I approve of her improved top, being able to support her massive chest without showing her nipples, but it's a shame that her bottom changed so much. During one point in the story she also wears the student uniform which consists of a yellow vest, white shirt, and red skirt. Sadly it's not a very good uniform, as you can imagine. She also wears a witch's dress, with hat, for a chapter cover and at one point she wears a nice black bikini with thong (the O-ring part gets destroyed by a sword but she repairs it with her invisibility and tying a bandage in a bow). Her outfits, while revealing, are a bit too far for my tastes and especially when it comes to how mamocentric they are.
Grade: C+

Personality: Touko, as said earlier, is the older sister of Ayana who is one of the lead characters of the series. She came to the school as a nurse to help encourage her imouto to get with the male lead. Unfortunately she's not extremely well-defined. She's pretty lazy and careless, brushing off the effects of drugs on students. She's even a bit absent-minded as well. Still, she's skilled at creating drugs of varying effects and seems to be friends with a Dr. Wily-type villain.

: You shouldn't trust mysterious people who live in skull-shaped castles.

Certainly. As for Touko's voice she was done by Kumi Sakuma who was also Ciel and Lettuce so it seems she likes meganekkos, maybe. Overall, while there isn't anything bad about Touko the series isn't exactly great as it's obvious that it's a fanservice series. She suffers as a result, and I don't think having the additional books translated would help too much either.
Grade: C+

Libido: The series sucks for this area. To be fair I'll discuss Touko first as she's not too bad. Her libido is fairly high, teasing the lead and even saying she'll steal him away if the girls don't start pursuing him more. She also teases the other girls, including her sister, which is pretty nice and she tends to be in the lead most of the time. That said the series is HORRIBLE as far as fanservice goes. Seriously, it's a surprise when a chapter doesn't have some type of mass groping or something. And I don't just mean something like smooth tentacles either, every thing is disgusting and bumpy or gooey, it's just a gross manga in general. Between Ayana's animals, Airi's machines (Airi is the lolier lead female), and just general antics it's as if the creator has some type of fetish for the grossest things. It's not just femsub, this is ADVANCED femsub! To compare it to a more well-known series of TLR Darkness, it would be like if every chapter contained Lala's machines groping the girls, Nana's animals going into heat an having huge disgusting suction-cup tentacle hands, or Momo's plants getting out of hand with vines. And that's not even counting the general gangrape-ish scenes, like if Momo's fanclub suddenly decided they were all going to fondle her. Oh and most of the girls have outlandishly huge breasts (and, considering Darkness isn't exactly non-mamocentric itself, that's saying a lot). It goes way past “sexy”, past “eww”, and goes into horrible “disgusting” and "barf-causing" areas quite a bit. I regret reading it, but I don't want to blame it on Touko herself. I will mention that she practically gets raped by a minotaur in the OVA, in case you readers need more reason to avoid it.
Grade: B-

Age: I can't be sure about Touko's age. We do know that she's an older sister and a teacher so she's likely over 20, but other than that her age is unknown. The volume 6 omake does show her as “20” but I can't read Japanese so for all I know it could be a “Forever 17” situation. Only with 20 instead. She does use a youth potion at one point, making her younger and look like a student. In comparison the actual students became kids so I have to imagine that Touko lost 5-10 years like they did (though I can't be sure).
Grade: A-

Total Grades: 70
Average score: 7.8
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: Wait just a minute! How come Hitomi got a much better score than I did?

A lot of reasons. Mostly because she doesn't come from such a horrid series, and one I can actually read as well.

: Fufufu, Topaz prefers me...

*Hitomi blushes and covers her face with her hands.*

: Don't get too cozy! Now that Topaz is done doing both of your blogs we have to get going.

But am I strong enough?

: Sure, and since you did do a proper blog on me I guess I can't lin. Here, how about you take this.

*Touko hands Topaz a leather case. He opens it up to inspect it, and inside is a ton of vials.*

What are all these?

: Just a few experimental drugs I came up with, with a variety of effects. I think one's a genderswap potion, one's to make boobs humongous, one changes the age of people...

: Wow, it's like a smorgasbord of Zettai hatred!

Don't worry, I'll never use them.

: Go ahead, that's what they're there for-Wait, Zettai?

Yeah. You know him?

: No, but due to teaching science classes all over I have heard of a girl who has a older brother with that name. I remember as it stuck out. But speaking of which there are some potions based on her research. Something like a giantess potion, a butt-enhancing potion, and one that makes you fart and increases their stink! Of course, those only work on women.

: Yep, that sure sounds like Hiroko...

Wow, there's like a dozen or so vials in here! But they're not labelled. Which ones are which?

: How should I know. Like I said, these are experimental. I've forgotten what half of them do anyway.

Well, I guess by adventure game logic I should be thankful.

*Topaz slides the large case into his pocket. Fortunately the pocket dimension allows him to carry them.*

Thanks a lot, Touko. I'm sure I'll use them intelligently!

: And thanks for fixing Topaz up, you two.

: Ha ha ha, think nothing of it.

: It's always a good feeling to see people leave with a smile, even if they aren't students.

*Riri and Topaz wave and the two nurses wave back. The two bloggers then leave and walk down the hallway. Once they've left, Hitomi and Touko start talking.*

: I can't belive that you cured his affliction so quickly!

: I didn't.

: EH? B-but he doesn't think that anything is wrong with him!

: I gave him a month's worth of medication. He should be fine until November, and he won't be my problem then.

: And you call yourself a nurse. You phony hack!

: Heh, I don't mind being called names. Doesn't bother me a bit.

*Returning back to Topaz and Ririchiyo, the former clutches his heart a bit and slows down.*

: You feeling alright?

Y-yeah. I just need to catch my breath.

: Man, you're really out of shape. And that full moon is really creepy as it seems that we've stayed here until late. Come on, let's hurry out of here!

*Topaz sighs.*

I suppose that I should.

*Riri and Topaz run, with the loli running far faster. She runs around a corner and waits for Topaz to follow, but he doesn't.*

: T-Topaz? Now isn't the time to be fooling around. I swear, if you went back to those cows...Topaz?

*As she turns the corner and checks it seems that Topaz has disappeared and only his shoes remain...*

Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 8, 10:10 AM | 0 comments
October 1st, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Urrr... Grooggg..

*Topaz stirs in a hospital bed.*

: You alright?

I think so. Last thing I remember is using a powerful attack on Oriha and now my head and heart both hurt. Did I eat a purple mushroom or something?

: I think you used too much power. And no reason to reference Lost Levels either. Luckily you were able to rest to full hit points using this lucky bed here.

Thank the lord Arceus for trauma inns. But where am I?

*Topaz rubs his eyes and reaches for Ririchiyo's hand. However, his hand touches something soft instead. He fondles it a bit.*

That's not Ririchiyo.

: No it is NOT! Stop that this instant!

*Topaz sits up in the bed. He then turns to Ririchiyo.*

I apologize! I didn't mean to do that!

: You'd better not have! You know how Zettai would react!

True, I really don't want to break his heart again. He's just now beginning to trust me again.

*Topaz sighs.*

: I know, I know. You sometimes have stupid mamocentric urges but I'm just glad that Zettai is awesome enough to deal with your stupidity...

I'm glad as well. But then, who is this other girl?

: That's the school nurse. I brought your unconscious body here in a panic and she was able to help.

Well then, I really should thank her. Thank-

*Topaz turns towards the nurse and his eyes immediately head to her ample cleavage.*


: Her eye is up here you nimrod!

*Riri holds Topaz's head up, facing him towards the woman's face.*


Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 1, 12:12 PM | 0 comments
September 24th, 2015
Anime Relations: Triage X
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. If you haven't been keeping up I've finally cornered Oriha who was going after me under the name of "Bombos". She's apparently a replacement from the Chessmasters who have been bothering me for quite some time (though mainly this year). We've already defeated her minions of Sonico and Hibari.

: Well, to be exact Sonico didn't work out like I had hoped. Hibari betrayed me and ran off with Yagyuu. All you've done is harrass a few girls and offend people!

Not on purpose! And I apologized as he did so we can just drop the issue.

: Hahaha! That's why you need to be defeated! You're a menace to society and a tumor like you needs to be extracted!

*cough*I can think of a few more tumors that you could stand to lose*cough*.

: What was that?


: Errrggh. Despite that Queen told me specifically not to have you blog me I MUST know what you think about my body!

I can't say that you'll be happy about it. And why would "Queen" tell you not to have me blog you?

: Besides the obvious, that you're a PERVERT, that your Imprint ability will cause me to see you as the male of my show. We can't have something like that happen!

Didn't you just say that you wanted me to talk about you?

: Don't use my words against me! Like you need a reason to talk about a curvy teen like me. Besides, it's not like I'm that close to Arashi either so I shouldn't be TOO affected...

Well then, let's get this blog on the road!

Today's girl is:

Oriha Nashida
Triage X

Hair: Oriha's hair is pretty bad for my tastes. Like so many other of my villains this year, she has pink twintails. They droop somewhat, looking like leaves in the manga, but her twintails are more "upright" in the anime and art. Or at least they seem to stick out more. As said before I'm not too big on twintails and less so if they're pink, and Oriha doesn't even have cute holders or anything to supplement them either. The rest of her hair is styled in a dome-like bowl cut, the sides reaching her chin. It's a bit too stiff for my liking but I do appreciate the length. She also has a large bang handing down between her eyes, though not exactly in the middle but curved in from the right side. Otherwise she shows a lot of forehead. I do appreciate the moments when Oriha puts her hair down, the main point being at the end of her "arc" of sorts and being straight I do like it a lot more.
Grade: C

Eyes: Oriha has somewhat tsurime eyes (though they do have some curve to them), but sadly the anime doesn't keep it. Blame Xebec. She also has eyelashes and somewhat noticeable eyebrows, the latter of which is also minimized in the anime (though it's not like she's Mugi or someone either). Her eyes are a blue color, and it seems that they're darker in the manga though I can't be too sure.
What really saves Oriha from being bland and forgettable is that she does wear glasses. It's part of a disguise but there's also official art of her in them. Anyway they're a pair of thick-framed green glasses, and while the color is unusual I appreciate all types and it somewhat fits with her hair. Not extremely well, but still. Overall Saya, from HotD, she is not.
Grade: B-

Face: I think that Oriha has the smallest features in the cast, though it's not a big difference. Her cheeks seem softer in the anime, though that's mainly for the Kanokon-like art style. She's nice looking if a bit bland, but I will add that she's also the youngest-looking in the cast. She does have a cute smirk in one image, but another really isn't done well and she looks off-model. Overall she's not bad, but nothing too special.
Grade: B

: Mwahaha! I'm already beating that one girl from last week!

To be fair Hibari had a particularly unfair score. I was a bit too hard on her, especially her eyes.

: Too bad! You can't go back and change what has already happened!

I'll have you eating those words soon...

: Eh? Nah, doesn't matter. Just get back to your blog. But first...

*Click. Oriha activates a few explosives. They go off around Topaz and send him flying backwards. He takes 40 damage, but brushes himself off as he staggers to his feet.*

I won't go down that easily!

: I see it'll take more than just simple bombs to finish YOU off!

*Meanwhile, outside.*

: Look! Someone is coming out of the building!

*A pink haired girl in headphones runs towards the police.*

: You wouldn't believe what's happening in there!

: It sounds like there's a lot of explosions!

: Oh no! Bombos must be getting to Topaz!

: Topaz... I hope you're alright in there...

: Don't worry, I'm sure he's a hardy person!

*The two look towards the studio. Nico pats Riri's back.*

Build: From here Oriha starts to go downhill. From what I can tell she's supposed to be the token "loli" of the cast, being both the youngest and the shortest (at 148 cm. For comparisons sake the lead is 175 cm tall). How this fails is that the rest of her measurements are 87/53/79. As you can see she's quite a curvy loli, and by "curvy" I mean overly busty. Really, the measurements are such terrible you'd think they were from Senran Kagura or something. Not that Satou Shouji is much better, but still. I'll talk about her breasts later, but do know that the difference between her chest and hips is 8 cm. I can handle up to 5 cm so I really dislike her measurements. And she's not even the worst girl in the series either! Measurements aside she doesn't do much better either. She has some minor butt shots, including one fairly nice bare one in a hot springs, and her legs are somewhat nice. I do like the anime art style for this, it gives her a more meaty appearance (Xebec is good at that). It's still not enough to save her, but is interesting enough to add.
Grade: C

Breasts: As said before Oriha is pretty overly-busty. Especially for her age, and she's knowed in universe as a short and busty girl. It's because she has a lot of pin-up books, it seems. Nothing wrong with busty loli-looking girls but the series and Xebec in particular seems to focus far too much on breasts, making Oriha bounce nearly at every opportunity. And that's nothing of all the close-ups on her "tumors" either. She has pretty fair-sized nipples, at least according to the DVD version. It's sad when the broadcast version is so terrible that 90% of the screen is covered in glowing light. She also seems a big saggy in the manga, though I think that's just the artist's style. Oriha also has moments where she's hanging upside down and her chest is hanging, nearly hitting herself in the face with her cans. Oriha is also bustier than Mikoto who is a high school student.
Grade: C+

Clothes: We mainly see Oriha in her Black Label outfit. It consists of a tight strapless (I think) purple dress with small yellow lines and a short skirt. She also has a brown trenchcoat that doesn't reach her knee and a belt with explosives on it and skull-and-crossbones buckle. On her legs she does have black thighhighs but some of the appeal is lost as she wears kneepads and she also wears sturdy purple boots. She also wears a hockey-like mask with a star over the right eye. Other outfits include her school uniform (which is a blue sailor uniform with a red bowtie at the collar) and a frilly idol outfit though I really didn't enjoy it (though she seems to be into fashion and current trends). In official art she's worn a yellow bikini, a really dumb medical-strip type of thing with the rest of the female cast, and a sheep costume (I like how her twintails got horns wrapped around them xD). Overall Oriha's wardrobe doesn't really appeal to me. She really needed more cosplays for that.
Grade: C


*Oriha rages, throwing her hands up in the air.*

What's wrong?

: You're obviously taking too much from that butt-loving friend of yours. No way you'd insult my chest in such a way without him whispering in your ear. Go back and change it with your true thoughts!

Didn't you just say that I can't go back and change things?

: But this is the middle of the blog, you still have time to edit these things! Besides, who'd appreciate dumb flat girls!

Hey, I appreciate loli characters! In fact you wouldn't look bad as a loli yourself.

: Yeah right. You're just saying that so that Fiona, your precious meganekko would have huge cans like THESE!

Not really. There's nothing wrong with flat adults. It would even ruin the reveal of her DFC in the final episode.

: And do you really have to call them "tumors"? You're using our own words for your horrible prejudice!

Actually that's from a joke that I never really brought off the ground I think. You see, your series has a lot of bath scenes. However, for the broadcast there were a lot of white light censorship. To me that made me think that the water was all radioactive and as a result all the girls obtained tumors. Though in a way that's also a cruel joke, as is the manga but that's an aside.

: GWAH! Can't you go two sentences without insulting me or my series?

Maybe if either was less generic I wouldn't have to.


*Oriha throws a bigger version of her previous bomb. It explodes in front of Topaz, dealing 100 damage and sending him to hit the wall hard. A small amount of blood sprays out of his mouth.*


*He crumples to the ground, badly injured. He slowly stands up, wincing in pain. Though the bomb certainly hurt he feels his heart beating rapidly and in an evil fashion.*

: I see that even a simple Super Bomb isn't enough to defeat you. I'd better bring out the big guns!

No! If you take your top off I'll have to put a parental warning on the blog!

: Not those guns! And shouldn't you be finishing your blog anyway, what are you doing delaying it?


: That's no excuse! You'd better continue right this minute!

*Meanwhile, outside.*

: I see. So this "Bombos" character captured you and made you perform terrorist acts. And she's working for the "Chessmasters" or something?

: Exactly!

: Sounds like a load of Tauros manure, if you ask me...

: No no no, I've heard about these Chessmasters. They've been bothering us this whole year!

: I see. And why haven't you contacted the proper authorities?

: But that wouldn't be interesting and Topaz probably didn't think of it. He can be a bit of an idiot sometimes.

: Idiot or not, you should have contacted SOMEONE!

???: She did! She contacted me!

*A twintailed ninja appears, followed closely by another ninja with twintails though shorter ones.*

: Riri ordered me to go save Topaz!

: Great then, where is he?

: Oops.

: I knew we forgot something!

: Wait, no. He was going to go defeat Bombos by himself!

: What a hero.

: Did you just roll your eyes.

: N-no! I mean it! Topaz is a hero and certainly not an idiot!

: Surrreee, you just work on that sarcasm...

: (Why does everyone think I'm just sarcastic?) But glad to see two characters from Topaz's latest game appear.

: I'm sure he's just playing it for the story. I hope.

: Oh no! What if he uses the camera to look at my b-butt!

: Don't worry! I'll cover your butt with my face to prevent that!

: Just don't sniff too hard...

*Elsewhere, in a secret base Aldra watches the battle. One of her minions comes up and greets her.*

Maid: You're really fascinated in this "Topaz" character, aren't you?

: Are you really going to question ME about being obsessed with a shota? Besides, I feel a great power about to emerge...

Personality: Oriha, personality-wise, has a nice base but a poor execution. She's surprisingly intelligent as she went to college at 11, though she's still childish in some ways. One such example is that she gives all the characters nicknames. She's a bit immature in general as well, apparently going off on a comment made by an announcer though I don't remember that happening (may have been manga-only). She's serious when it comes to missions though, though not completely. She's also an idol, but other than using it as a "civilian" disguise not much happens with her. Incidentally she's voiced by Amina Sato who is a graduated member of AKB48 and was Yuuka in that show (hilariously Amina's measurements are far superior than Oriha's). Sadly she doesn't have many other roles, and while she's not too bad as Oriha it's not extremely memorable.
And that's the biggest problem with Oriha. She's not memorable in the least. There's so much they could have done with her. The only way her intelligence is shown is that she's able to make explosives and be the demolitions expert. We could have explored her past a bit; her parents are said to be dead and she lives in a trapped mansion, but I don't think we ever saw it and that would be cool to see! As said she's also the explosives expert, and this includes some of my favorite FPS weapons in the missile launcher, RPG, and grenade launcher. I am not good at aiming xD. There's a lot of interesting things about Oriha, but it's a shame that they used almost none of it rendering her a bland fanservice trope. Fitting for the series, I guess.
Grade: C+

Libido: Oriha really doesn't show much libido. To be fair the male lead may not be responsive anyway (he's a cold person overall), but still. From what I can tell she might enjoy teasing the other girls about their love but that may be manga only. They probably had to cut a lot to fit nine volumes into ten episodes, or at least I imagine they did.
Grade: C

Age: Oriha is 14, making her the youngest member of the cast (or at least the ones I know about). However, her body doesn't really fit her age and thus she her points suffer as a result.
Grade: C-

Total Grades: 51
Average score: 5.7
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: Are you KIDDING me? That's one of the worst scores you've ever given anyone!

It is true that it's in the bottom percentage. Unlike Joey's Rattata. But it does show what I think of you.

: This is dumb! I shouldn't have been penaltized for having big breasts! I'm like one of the worst busty girls you've done!

To be fair you barely beat Iria.

: That's ONLY because she tried to play unfair. I'm the worst girl that has all natural boobies!

Perhaps not "all" natural!

: Hey! Like another pink-haired idol I have a 100% natural body!


: That's it! I'm tired of you mocking me, and now that the blog is over I can use THIS!

*Oriha jumps really hard, but nothing happens. Other than useless jiggling I suppose.*

I don't think that's going to do anything...

: You'll see about that!

*She jumps a few times, and eventually a giant Bomb-omb drops from the ceiling. Unfortunately it doesn't squish Oriha.*

: Good think I stole this from that Punchy-fellow! Now Topaz, prepare to meet your doom!

There must be something I can do... Some ability I haven't realized until now...

*Back at her base Aldra cheers on.*

: Yes.. Access that demon living in you. It'll make you easier for me to track and extract for myself...

Maid: Nice rhyme.

: Thank you, but don't butter up to me thinking you'll get a raise.

Maid: I wasn't looking for one! Well, since you're busy watching this I should get going and-whooooah!

*The maid hits a cable and unplugs Aldra's screen. It goes blank and Aldra's head creaks as she turns slowly to her minion.*

Maid: It wasn't my fault! Blame all these wires hanging around the path!

: You should have been incorporeal! That's it, I'll punish you with spankings!

Maid: Nooo! My butt will get all swollen again!

*Back to Topaz and Oriha. She's holding a button and teasing pressing it with her thumb.*

: Wahahaha! I'm in control once more! Now quit your blog or I'll blow us both up!

If only I had something...

*Topaz remembers back to about a month ago...*

: Hey, have you've ever thought about using all of your Summons at one time? Like in one big attack?

That's IT!

: What?

I have the perfect attack to defeat you now!

: Eh? Just give up. It's far easier.

I may have to use Complexity -1 but I'm not the laziest person around. And this will show it.

*Topaz does a certain movements and aims his hand at Oriha. It glows with a lot of energy and eventually he speaks the spell's name.*


: Eh?

*A starry sphere seems to envelope Topaz and Oriha. Soon they find themselves in a cosmos. Topaz raises his hand and spreads his fingers.*

: What kind of final battle is this?! Why am I suddenly in space?

This is the culmination of my summoning skills. You see, instead of bringing the girls to me I brought YOU to the girls!

*Over two dozen blackened shapes appear around the two of them.*

: EHHH! I don't deserve a move like this!

That's what you think! Now, my warriors... ATTACK!

*The first girl starts to step out, revealing herself to be a half-demonic half-angel miko.*

: Ufufu. Looks like I'm first. And it says a lot that Topaz thinks your show is even worse than mine...

: That seems unfair!

: I'll be the judge of that. In fact... JUDGEMENT BOLT!

*Akeno electrifies Oriha with a thunder attack, then flies off. Another miko takes her place.*

: I better get paid extra for this appearance! HOLY AURA!

*Reimu flings her yin-yangs at Oriha, hitting her a couple times against the head. Oriha still stands, well as well as she can floating in space.*

: Grr! This is painful but I won't fall yet!

: That's fine, there's plenty left.

*Reimu flies off as well, and a tall girl with a sword seems to swim up to Oriha.*

: You look familiar somehow, but don't think that gets you off from my judgment. For you have broken mermaid law, and your punishment is to hear my LUNATIC VOICE!

*Akeno uses her mermaid special ability to blast Oriha backwards.*

: N-now it's your turn.

*Akeno leaves, and a cat eared swords girl arrives.*

: Hmm, wonder why she's so scared of me. Oh well, it's time for you to endure my CAT RAIN!

*Himari makes a multitude of thrusts at Oriha, hitting every strike. She then sheathes her sword.*

: Just be glad that I didn't use a microphone. Wait, how do I know that reference. Eh, never mind.

*Himari leaps away and a red-haired flame haze arrives.*

: Harumph. To be forced to dirty my blade on a cow like you would disrespect it. Instead... HELLFIRE!

*Shana causes a flaming tornado around Oriha.*


: Hopefully you've learned your lesson now.

*The tornado fades out as Shana takes off on wings made of fire. Next, a girl with a lollipop and signature striped leggings backflips towards Oriha.*

: Man, why do I have to follow that fiery girl? Though she does sound familiar. But enough of that, I already saved Topaz while I was in his fridge but take this-DIAMOND DUST!

*Mizore summons a ton of ice shards and flings them at Oriha. While she's damaged she's fortunately not bleeding as this is all thematic. Mizore seems to disappear as stalkers usually do, and a girl in a naked apron and thong arrives. She unsheathes her sword.*

: How DARE my artist favor your horrible series instead. I've come for revenge! HEALING HORN!

*Saeko attacks the confused Oriha a few times with her sword.*

: W-wait. “Horn”? And I don't see how that was “healing” at all.

: Oh yeah, I forgot about this.

*Saeko puts on a unicorn horn on her forehead, her butt jiggling as she does so.*

: Now, if you excuse me I have to find a plate of lasagna and meet up with Zettai so I can ride him.

*Saeko leaps away.*

: I'm even more confused!

???: Ufufufu, that's fortunate.

*Oriha is chilled as a yandere with a saw is standing behind her, smiling wide. She jumps away.*

: You wouldn't be hurting be hurting Topaz, now would you?

: N-no...

: LIES! Your shows existence brings pain to him! Especially your poor measurements!

: You shouldn't be the one saying that!


*Kotonoha swings her saw at Oriha's waist. The screen turns red with blood, but that's just an effect as afterward she's still in one piece. Kotonoha does seem to have disappeared and a eyepatch middle school student has taken her place. She makes a Jojo-like pose.*

: Kukuku. It is now time for me to show you my power. Release now, my DEMON EYE!

*Rikka takes off her eye patch and seems to shoot a laser at Oriha.*

: When will this stop!

: Fool, this is nothing compared to the attack I once had to endure from Topaz. But this shall be it for me, for NOW...

*Rikka runs off, tripping to ruin her epic escape. That said she brushes herself off and continues running proudly.*

: Where's that next girl?

???: Guess who?

*Oriha gets another chill as a ghostly body presses against hers. Her eyes are also covered.*

: Mwahaha.

*Oriha breaks free and turns to face Yuuko. Yuuko then presses her hand against her chest and grabs something flimsy.*


*Yuuko tosses a thin sheet of plastic at Oriha. She's stunned but is able to move in no time.*

: Wow, what a mild inconvenience!

: I know, I sure showed you! That shall teach you not to be just about breasts!

: Again I don't think you're the best one to say that...

*Yuuko flies off with ghostly power and a pink-haired girl with a sword arrives.*

: Fate apologizes but she'd rather not be seen after the mess that was Vivid. But you deserve more punishment, and luckily she taught me this-RUBY LIGHT!

*Signum strikes Oriha with flames and electricity before flying away. After that a small puddle appears under Oriha's feet. Not like that, just plain water. However, a girl's head pops out of it.*

: I'm not sure why I was chosen out of all the Negima girls, but prepare for my ultimate attack! BREACH BLAST!

*Akira does a flip and splashes Oriha with a water-based attack. She then disappears as does the water to make room for a Chinese bandit-killer.*

: Not sure why I'm placed here, but EARTHEN WALL!

*Kan'u spins her blade super fast, hitting Oriha with it.*

: ARGH! I'm not sure either, that's not even a wall!

: It's a wall-OF CHINA!

: Oh ha ha ha... That was a horrible joke.

: I thought it was funny. But I must be going now!

*Kan'u backflips away, as if leaping off the top of a building. A powerful twintail mage appears next.*

: No doubt your show influenced a certain other show I'm in and made it worst! For that you pay, MAGIC SHIELD!

*Rin conjures a shield of force and slams it against Oriha repeatably.*

: I get it Topaz! You don't like me, but is it really worth it to beat me up this badly?

: Don't worry, at most you'll go flying.

*Speaking of flying, Rin goes flies off as well. A more angelic figure appears after her.*

: Oh look, it's the one that Topaz doesn't like anymore.

: He still enjoys me... I have not fallen but rather a new member has grown past me... But for bringing that up, ANGEL FEATHERS!

*Kanade's angel-like wings shoot out a volley of feathers at Oriha. She then flies off and an older sister with a distinct look comes flying in, her maneuver gear hitting behind Oriha. She comes full force at her.*


*Misaka doesn't even hold to say her line, flying past Oriha at great speed.*

: Well, I'm surprised that Kanade didn't have that spot. But now I'm worried...

???: You deserve to be!

: Hey, you look sort of like a character from my show.

*A purple cure appears, her back lit up by the moon.*

: I'd NEVER be associated with that horrible trainwreck you come from. Now, HOWLING MOON!

*Cure Moonlight hits Oriha with the might of moonbeams.*

: Gweh... All this damage is starting to rack up...

*Oriha freezes in place as another magical girl in pantyhose takes Moonlight's place.*

: And this is just the beginning. But for now... TRI-DISASTER!

*Three types of missiles are launched at Oriha and she goes flying upward.*

: Nooo faaiiirrr, I'm the explosives expert!

*She starts to fall down, but instead the ground has turned into a giant Haniwa doll. She lands in the mouth and gets taunted by a person standing on the side.*

: Kukuku. Don't think you're getting away with this. ABYSSAL MAW!

*The haniwa crunches Oriha's body in a humorous way, dealing a lot of earth damage. After both Kiriha and the haniwa disappear, leaving Oriha floating in space. A thong-clad girl flies up to her.*

: This may not be as effective since I'm not in Black Lotus form, but ALLURING EMBRACE!

*Snow Black hugs Oriha, the blades on her arms dealing damage with slashing effects.*

: This should teach you that middle school girls can still be sexy when they aren't busty!

*She flies off, passing a ojou girl standing on a mountain or such holding her sword.*

: Terrorists like you deserve only one penalty, so experience my DIVINE JUDGEMENT!

*Satsuki does a spinning leap with her sword, slashing Oriha and then going for another when she lands. Satsuki then sheathes her sword.*

: That may not be much, but you don't deserve any more attention from Satsuki Kiryuin!

*With a hair wave that would make Homura jealous Satsuki leaves. However, another hime-cut ojou in a white outfit takes her place.*

: Even my series is better than yours! Though I'd prefer if we were taken more seriously.

: Well maybe you shouldn't have clothing damage as a feature?

: Nonsense. All we need to do is show more butt as all men like them! And like my spirit animal we shall raise from the ashes with our asses held high! FLAMES OF REBIRTH!

*Ikaruga moons her pantyhose as she slashes and summons a huge bird. It then flies at Oriha dead-on.*

: You shouldn't spam Brave Bird!

*A clopping noise is heard as a horse's foot is shown ominously.*

: Papi is not that brave. But I am, and I shall be your opponent this time.

*Centorea takes out a curved, Z-shaped sword. She then charges at Oriha.*

: I'll use this move I learned from video games- ZANTETSUKEN!

*Centorea splits Oriha in half again, though in a non-serious manner for effect as she's still in one piece.*

: Yet again my blade cut something unworthy...

*Centorea leaves and another flaming girl appears, though one much taller than Shana.*


: Yes... you have hurt Topaz and as a result you must pay! MEGA FLARE!

*Ayaka uses a powerful explosion on Oriha.*

: How ironiiiicc!

*Ayaka turns and waves for the next girl to come. A mysterious brown skinned loli appears.*

: Fufufu. Topaz may not know as much about me but I know that I should defeat you!

: Hey, what's with all the bad fanservice girls ganging up on ME!?

: At least we have a good chapter every year or something! And now, to show you my powers... METAMORPHOSE!

*Nemesis turns into a former villain, also with pink twintails.*

: This is for Topaz being so against me! And for all the other poor blogs he's done!

*”Chinatsu” slaps Oriha repeatably. Finally the stars in the area around the two of them go dark and the final shadow appears.*

: And, as a finisher... CLEANSING!!!

*Saber uses the powers of her Excalibur to finish Oriha off. She goes flying, shattering the blackness and even goes through the roof of the building.*

: AAAAAHHHH!!! Team Bombos is flying awaaaaayyy!!!


: That must be where Topaz is! I'll go rescue him!

: No, it's too dangerous!

: I know, that's why I'll transform first!

*Ririchiyo turns into her demon form.*

: Man, it feels good to have a transformation that's not mamocentric or picking on a flat chest girl. But enough of that, I fly!

*Riri leaps from place to place, eventually going in through the hole Oriha made. There, she sees the giant bomb-omb and Topaz laying on the ground unconscious.*

: Oh no!

*She then carries him out in a princess carry. While doing this the bomb goes off just as Ririchiyo escapes.*

: That's close, I've evaded too many explosions this year... But it looks like Topaz fainted! I'd better get some help.

*She looks around, eventually finding a school.*

: Well, I guess that a school nurse is better than nothing.

*She heads inside, Topaz still unconscious in her arms... She untransforms as she enters the school.*

: Now where could that nurse's office be?

???: Right here! I'm the nurse here, so let me look at him!

: Sure and-AH!

*What did Ririchiyo see? Fine out next time!*
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 24, 11:51 AM | 0 comments