emperortopaz's Blog

October 1st, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Urrr... Grooggg..

*Topaz stirs in a hospital bed.*

: You alright?

I think so. Last thing I remember is using a powerful attack on Oriha and now my head and heart both hurt. Did I eat a purple mushroom or something?

: I think you used too much power. And no reason to reference Lost Levels either. Luckily you were able to rest to full hit points using this lucky bed here.

Thank the lord Arceus for trauma inns. But where am I?

*Topaz rubs his eyes and reaches for Ririchiyo's hand. However, his hand touches something soft instead. He fondles it a bit.*

That's not Ririchiyo.

: No it is NOT! Stop that this instant!

*Topaz sits up in the bed. He then turns to Ririchiyo.*

I apologize! I didn't mean to do that!

: You'd better not have! You know how Zettai would react!

True, I really don't want to break his heart again. He's just now beginning to trust me again.

*Topaz sighs.*

: I know, I know. You sometimes have stupid mamocentric urges but I'm just glad that Zettai is awesome enough to deal with your stupidity...

I'm glad as well. But then, who is this other girl?

: That's the school nurse. I brought your unconscious body here in a panic and she was able to help.

Well then, I really should thank her. Thank-

*Topaz turns towards the nurse and his eyes immediately head to her ample cleavage.*


: Her eye is up here you nimrod!

*Riri holds Topaz's head up, facing him towards the woman's face.*


Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 1, 12:12 PM | 0 comments
September 24th, 2015
Anime Relations: Triage X
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. If you haven't been keeping up I've finally cornered Oriha who was going after me under the name of "Bombos". She's apparently a replacement from the Chessmasters who have been bothering me for quite some time (though mainly this year). We've already defeated her minions of Sonico and Hibari.

: Well, to be exact Sonico didn't work out like I had hoped. Hibari betrayed me and ran off with Yagyuu. All you've done is harrass a few girls and offend people!

Not on purpose! And I apologized as he did so we can just drop the issue.

: Hahaha! That's why you need to be defeated! You're a menace to society and a tumor like you needs to be extracted!

*cough*I can think of a few more tumors that you could stand to lose*cough*.

: What was that?


: Errrggh. Despite that Queen told me specifically not to have you blog me I MUST know what you think about my body!

I can't say that you'll be happy about it. And why would "Queen" tell you not to have me blog you?

: Besides the obvious, that you're a PERVERT, that your Imprint ability will cause me to see you as the male of my show. We can't have something like that happen!

Didn't you just say that you wanted me to talk about you?

: Don't use my words against me! Like you need a reason to talk about a curvy teen like me. Besides, it's not like I'm that close to Arashi either so I shouldn't be TOO affected...

Well then, let's get this blog on the road!

Today's girl is:

Oriha Nashida
Triage X

Hair: Oriha's hair is pretty bad for my tastes. Like so many other of my villains this year, she has pink twintails. They droop somewhat, looking like leaves in the manga, but her twintails are more "upright" in the anime and art. Or at least they seem to stick out more. As said before I'm not too big on twintails and less so if they're pink, and Oriha doesn't even have cute holders or anything to supplement them either. The rest of her hair is styled in a dome-like bowl cut, the sides reaching her chin. It's a bit too stiff for my liking but I do appreciate the length. She also has a large bang handing down between her eyes, though not exactly in the middle but curved in from the right side. Otherwise she shows a lot of forehead. I do appreciate the moments when Oriha puts her hair down, the main point being at the end of her "arc" of sorts and being straight I do like it a lot more.
Grade: C

Eyes: Oriha has somewhat tsurime eyes (though they do have some curve to them), but sadly the anime doesn't keep it. Blame Xebec. She also has eyelashes and somewhat noticeable eyebrows, the latter of which is also minimized in the anime (though it's not like she's Mugi or someone either). Her eyes are a blue color, and it seems that they're darker in the manga though I can't be too sure.
What really saves Oriha from being bland and forgettable is that she does wear glasses. It's part of a disguise but there's also official art of her in them. Anyway they're a pair of thick-framed green glasses, and while the color is unusual I appreciate all types and it somewhat fits with her hair. Not extremely well, but still. Overall Saya, from HotD, she is not.
Grade: B-

Face: I think that Oriha has the smallest features in the cast, though it's not a big difference. Her cheeks seem softer in the anime, though that's mainly for the Kanokon-like art style. She's nice looking if a bit bland, but I will add that she's also the youngest-looking in the cast. She does have a cute smirk in one image, but another really isn't done well and she looks off-model. Overall she's not bad, but nothing too special.
Grade: B

: Mwahaha! I'm already beating that one girl from last week!

To be fair Hibari had a particularly unfair score. I was a bit too hard on her, especially her eyes.

: Too bad! You can't go back and change what has already happened!

I'll have you eating those words soon...

: Eh? Nah, doesn't matter. Just get back to your blog. But first...

*Click. Oriha activates a few explosives. They go off around Topaz and send him flying backwards. He takes 40 damage, but brushes himself off as he staggers to his feet.*

I won't go down that easily!

: I see it'll take more than just simple bombs to finish YOU off!

*Meanwhile, outside.*

: Look! Someone is coming out of the building!

*A pink haired girl in headphones runs towards the police.*

: You wouldn't believe what's happening in there!

: It sounds like there's a lot of explosions!

: Oh no! Bombos must be getting to Topaz!

: Topaz... I hope you're alright in there...

: Don't worry, I'm sure he's a hardy person!

*The two look towards the studio. Nico pats Riri's back.*

Build: From here Oriha starts to go downhill. From what I can tell she's supposed to be the token "loli" of the cast, being both the youngest and the shortest (at 148 cm. For comparisons sake the lead is 175 cm tall). How this fails is that the rest of her measurements are 87/53/79. As you can see she's quite a curvy loli, and by "curvy" I mean overly busty. Really, the measurements are such terrible you'd think they were from Senran Kagura or something. Not that Satou Shouji is much better, but still. I'll talk about her breasts later, but do know that the difference between her chest and hips is 8 cm. I can handle up to 5 cm so I really dislike her measurements. And she's not even the worst girl in the series either! Measurements aside she doesn't do much better either. She has some minor butt shots, including one fairly nice bare one in a hot springs, and her legs are somewhat nice. I do like the anime art style for this, it gives her a more meaty appearance (Xebec is good at that). It's still not enough to save her, but is interesting enough to add.
Grade: C

Breasts: As said before Oriha is pretty overly-busty. Especially for her age, and she's knowed in universe as a short and busty girl. It's because she has a lot of pin-up books, it seems. Nothing wrong with busty loli-looking girls but the series and Xebec in particular seems to focus far too much on breasts, making Oriha bounce nearly at every opportunity. And that's nothing of all the close-ups on her "tumors" either. She has pretty fair-sized nipples, at least according to the DVD version. It's sad when the broadcast version is so terrible that 90% of the screen is covered in glowing light. She also seems a big saggy in the manga, though I think that's just the artist's style. Oriha also has moments where she's hanging upside down and her chest is hanging, nearly hitting herself in the face with her cans. Oriha is also bustier than Mikoto who is a high school student.
Grade: C+

Clothes: We mainly see Oriha in her Black Label outfit. It consists of a tight strapless (I think) purple dress with small yellow lines and a short skirt. She also has a brown trenchcoat that doesn't reach her knee and a belt with explosives on it and skull-and-crossbones buckle. On her legs she does have black thighhighs but some of the appeal is lost as she wears kneepads and she also wears sturdy purple boots. She also wears a hockey-like mask with a star over the right eye. Other outfits include her school uniform (which is a blue sailor uniform with a red bowtie at the collar) and a frilly idol outfit though I really didn't enjoy it (though she seems to be into fashion and current trends). In official art she's worn a yellow bikini, a really dumb medical-strip type of thing with the rest of the female cast, and a sheep costume (I like how her twintails got horns wrapped around them xD). Overall Oriha's wardrobe doesn't really appeal to me. She really needed more cosplays for that.
Grade: C


*Oriha rages, throwing her hands up in the air.*

What's wrong?

: You're obviously taking too much from that butt-loving friend of yours. No way you'd insult my chest in such a way without him whispering in your ear. Go back and change it with your true thoughts!

Didn't you just say that I can't go back and change things?

: But this is the middle of the blog, you still have time to edit these things! Besides, who'd appreciate dumb flat girls!

Hey, I appreciate loli characters! In fact you wouldn't look bad as a loli yourself.

: Yeah right. You're just saying that so that Fiona, your precious meganekko would have huge cans like THESE!

Not really. There's nothing wrong with flat adults. It would even ruin the reveal of her DFC in the final episode.

: And do you really have to call them "tumors"? You're using our own words for your horrible prejudice!

Actually that's from a joke that I never really brought off the ground I think. You see, your series has a lot of bath scenes. However, for the broadcast there were a lot of white light censorship. To me that made me think that the water was all radioactive and as a result all the girls obtained tumors. Though in a way that's also a cruel joke, as is the manga but that's an aside.

: GWAH! Can't you go two sentences without insulting me or my series?

Maybe if either was less generic I wouldn't have to.


*Oriha throws a bigger version of her previous bomb. It explodes in front of Topaz, dealing 100 damage and sending him to hit the wall hard. A small amount of blood sprays out of his mouth.*


*He crumples to the ground, badly injured. He slowly stands up, wincing in pain. Though the bomb certainly hurt he feels his heart beating rapidly and in an evil fashion.*

: I see that even a simple Super Bomb isn't enough to defeat you. I'd better bring out the big guns!

No! If you take your top off I'll have to put a parental warning on the blog!

: Not those guns! And shouldn't you be finishing your blog anyway, what are you doing delaying it?


: That's no excuse! You'd better continue right this minute!

*Meanwhile, outside.*

: I see. So this "Bombos" character captured you and made you perform terrorist acts. And she's working for the "Chessmasters" or something?

: Exactly!

: Sounds like a load of Tauros manure, if you ask me...

: No no no, I've heard about these Chessmasters. They've been bothering us this whole year!

: I see. And why haven't you contacted the proper authorities?

: But that wouldn't be interesting and Topaz probably didn't think of it. He can be a bit of an idiot sometimes.

: Idiot or not, you should have contacted SOMEONE!

???: She did! She contacted me!

*A twintailed ninja appears, followed closely by another ninja with twintails though shorter ones.*

: Riri ordered me to go save Topaz!

: Great then, where is he?

: Oops.

: I knew we forgot something!

: Wait, no. He was going to go defeat Bombos by himself!

: What a hero.

: Did you just roll your eyes.

: N-no! I mean it! Topaz is a hero and certainly not an idiot!

: Surrreee, you just work on that sarcasm...

: (Why does everyone think I'm just sarcastic?) But glad to see two characters from Topaz's latest game appear.

: I'm sure he's just playing it for the story. I hope.

: Oh no! What if he uses the camera to look at my b-butt!

: Don't worry! I'll cover your butt with my face to prevent that!

: Just don't sniff too hard...

*Elsewhere, in a secret base Aldra watches the battle. One of her minions comes up and greets her.*

Maid: You're really fascinated in this "Topaz" character, aren't you?

: Are you really going to question ME about being obsessed with a shota? Besides, I feel a great power about to emerge...

Personality: Oriha, personality-wise, has a nice base but a poor execution. She's surprisingly intelligent as she went to college at 11, though she's still childish in some ways. One such example is that she gives all the characters nicknames. She's a bit immature in general as well, apparently going off on a comment made by an announcer though I don't remember that happening (may have been manga-only). She's serious when it comes to missions though, though not completely. She's also an idol, but other than using it as a "civilian" disguise not much happens with her. Incidentally she's voiced by Amina Sato who is a graduated member of AKB48 and was Yuuka in that show (hilariously Amina's measurements are far superior than Oriha's). Sadly she doesn't have many other roles, and while she's not too bad as Oriha it's not extremely memorable.
And that's the biggest problem with Oriha. She's not memorable in the least. There's so much they could have done with her. The only way her intelligence is shown is that she's able to make explosives and be the demolitions expert. We could have explored her past a bit; her parents are said to be dead and she lives in a trapped mansion, but I don't think we ever saw it and that would be cool to see! As said she's also the explosives expert, and this includes some of my favorite FPS weapons in the missile launcher, RPG, and grenade launcher. I am not good at aiming xD. There's a lot of interesting things about Oriha, but it's a shame that they used almost none of it rendering her a bland fanservice trope. Fitting for the series, I guess.
Grade: C+

Libido: Oriha really doesn't show much libido. To be fair the male lead may not be responsive anyway (he's a cold person overall), but still. From what I can tell she might enjoy teasing the other girls about their love but that may be manga only. They probably had to cut a lot to fit nine volumes into ten episodes, or at least I imagine they did.
Grade: C

Age: Oriha is 14, making her the youngest member of the cast (or at least the ones I know about). However, her body doesn't really fit her age and thus she her points suffer as a result.
Grade: C-

Total Grades: 51
Average score: 5.7
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: Are you KIDDING me? That's one of the worst scores you've ever given anyone!

It is true that it's in the bottom percentage. Unlike Joey's Rattata. But it does show what I think of you.

: This is dumb! I shouldn't have been penaltized for having big breasts! I'm like one of the worst busty girls you've done!

To be fair you barely beat Iria.

: That's ONLY because she tried to play unfair. I'm the worst girl that has all natural boobies!

Perhaps not "all" natural!

: Hey! Like another pink-haired idol I have a 100% natural body!


: That's it! I'm tired of you mocking me, and now that the blog is over I can use THIS!

*Oriha jumps really hard, but nothing happens. Other than useless jiggling I suppose.*

I don't think that's going to do anything...

: You'll see about that!

*She jumps a few times, and eventually a giant Bomb-omb drops from the ceiling. Unfortunately it doesn't squish Oriha.*

: Good think I stole this from that Punchy-fellow! Now Topaz, prepare to meet your doom!

There must be something I can do... Some ability I haven't realized until now...

*Back at her base Aldra cheers on.*

: Yes.. Access that demon living in you. It'll make you easier for me to track and extract for myself...

Maid: Nice rhyme.

: Thank you, but don't butter up to me thinking you'll get a raise.

Maid: I wasn't looking for one! Well, since you're busy watching this I should get going and-whooooah!

*The maid hits a cable and unplugs Aldra's screen. It goes blank and Aldra's head creaks as she turns slowly to her minion.*

Maid: It wasn't my fault! Blame all these wires hanging around the path!

: You should have been incorporeal! That's it, I'll punish you with spankings!

Maid: Nooo! My butt will get all swollen again!

*Back to Topaz and Oriha. She's holding a button and teasing pressing it with her thumb.*

: Wahahaha! I'm in control once more! Now quit your blog or I'll blow us both up!

If only I had something...

*Topaz remembers back to about a month ago...*

: Hey, have you've ever thought about using all of your Summons at one time? Like in one big attack?

That's IT!

: What?

I have the perfect attack to defeat you now!

: Eh? Just give up. It's far easier.

I may have to use Complexity -1 but I'm not the laziest person around. And this will show it.

*Topaz does a certain movements and aims his hand at Oriha. It glows with a lot of energy and eventually he speaks the spell's name.*


: Eh?

*A starry sphere seems to envelope Topaz and Oriha. Soon they find themselves in a cosmos. Topaz raises his hand and spreads his fingers.*

: What kind of final battle is this?! Why am I suddenly in space?

This is the culmination of my summoning skills. You see, instead of bringing the girls to me I brought YOU to the girls!

*Over two dozen blackened shapes appear around the two of them.*

: EHHH! I don't deserve a move like this!

That's what you think! Now, my warriors... ATTACK!

*The first girl starts to step out, revealing herself to be a half-demonic half-angel miko.*

: Ufufu. Looks like I'm first. And it says a lot that Topaz thinks your show is even worse than mine...

: That seems unfair!

: I'll be the judge of that. In fact... JUDGEMENT BOLT!

*Akeno electrifies Oriha with a thunder attack, then flies off. Another miko takes her place.*

: I better get paid extra for this appearance! HOLY AURA!

*Reimu flings her yin-yangs at Oriha, hitting her a couple times against the head. Oriha still stands, well as well as she can floating in space.*

: Grr! This is painful but I won't fall yet!

: That's fine, there's plenty left.

*Reimu flies off as well, and a tall girl with a sword seems to swim up to Oriha.*

: You look familiar somehow, but don't think that gets you off from my judgment. For you have broken mermaid law, and your punishment is to hear my LUNATIC VOICE!

*Akeno uses her mermaid special ability to blast Oriha backwards.*

: N-now it's your turn.

*Akeno leaves, and a cat eared swords girl arrives.*

: Hmm, wonder why she's so scared of me. Oh well, it's time for you to endure my CAT RAIN!

*Himari makes a multitude of thrusts at Oriha, hitting every strike. She then sheathes her sword.*

: Just be glad that I didn't use a microphone. Wait, how do I know that reference. Eh, never mind.

*Himari leaps away and a red-haired flame haze arrives.*

: Harumph. To be forced to dirty my blade on a cow like you would disrespect it. Instead... HELLFIRE!

*Shana causes a flaming tornado around Oriha.*


: Hopefully you've learned your lesson now.

*The tornado fades out as Shana takes off on wings made of fire. Next, a girl with a lollipop and signature striped leggings backflips towards Oriha.*

: Man, why do I have to follow that fiery girl? Though she does sound familiar. But enough of that, I already saved Topaz while I was in his fridge but take this-DIAMOND DUST!

*Mizore summons a ton of ice shards and flings them at Oriha. While she's damaged she's fortunately not bleeding as this is all thematic. Mizore seems to disappear as stalkers usually do, and a girl in a naked apron and thong arrives. She unsheathes her sword.*

: How DARE my artist favor your horrible series instead. I've come for revenge! HEALING HORN!

*Saeko attacks the confused Oriha a few times with her sword.*

: W-wait. “Horn”? And I don't see how that was “healing” at all.

: Oh yeah, I forgot about this.

*Saeko puts on a unicorn horn on her forehead, her butt jiggling as she does so.*

: Now, if you excuse me I have to find a plate of lasagna and meet up with Zettai so I can ride him.

*Saeko leaps away.*

: I'm even more confused!

???: Ufufufu, that's fortunate.

*Oriha is chilled as a yandere with a saw is standing behind her, smiling wide. She jumps away.*

: You wouldn't be hurting be hurting Topaz, now would you?

: N-no...

: LIES! Your shows existence brings pain to him! Especially your poor measurements!

: You shouldn't be the one saying that!


*Kotonoha swings her saw at Oriha's waist. The screen turns red with blood, but that's just an effect as afterward she's still in one piece. Kotonoha does seem to have disappeared and a eyepatch middle school student has taken her place. She makes a Jojo-like pose.*

: Kukuku. It is now time for me to show you my power. Release now, my DEMON EYE!

*Rikka takes off her eye patch and seems to shoot a laser at Oriha.*

: When will this stop!

: Fool, this is nothing compared to the attack I once had to endure from Topaz. But this shall be it for me, for NOW...

*Rikka runs off, tripping to ruin her epic escape. That said she brushes herself off and continues running proudly.*

: Where's that next girl?

???: Guess who?

*Oriha gets another chill as a ghostly body presses against hers. Her eyes are also covered.*

: Mwahaha.

*Oriha breaks free and turns to face Yuuko. Yuuko then presses her hand against her chest and grabs something flimsy.*


*Yuuko tosses a thin sheet of plastic at Oriha. She's stunned but is able to move in no time.*

: Wow, what a mild inconvenience!

: I know, I sure showed you! That shall teach you not to be just about breasts!

: Again I don't think you're the best one to say that...

*Yuuko flies off with ghostly power and a pink-haired girl with a sword arrives.*

: Fate apologizes but she'd rather not be seen after the mess that was Vivid. But you deserve more punishment, and luckily she taught me this-RUBY LIGHT!

*Signum strikes Oriha with flames and electricity before flying away. After that a small puddle appears under Oriha's feet. Not like that, just plain water. However, a girl's head pops out of it.*

: I'm not sure why I was chosen out of all the Negima girls, but prepare for my ultimate attack! BREACH BLAST!

*Akira does a flip and splashes Oriha with a water-based attack. She then disappears as does the water to make room for a Chinese bandit-killer.*

: Not sure why I'm placed here, but EARTHEN WALL!

*Kan'u spins her blade super fast, hitting Oriha with it.*

: ARGH! I'm not sure either, that's not even a wall!

: It's a wall-OF CHINA!

: Oh ha ha ha... That was a horrible joke.

: I thought it was funny. But I must be going now!

*Kan'u backflips away, as if leaping off the top of a building. A powerful twintail mage appears next.*

: No doubt your show influenced a certain other show I'm in and made it worst! For that you pay, MAGIC SHIELD!

*Rin conjures a shield of force and slams it against Oriha repeatably.*

: I get it Topaz! You don't like me, but is it really worth it to beat me up this badly?

: Don't worry, at most you'll go flying.

*Speaking of flying, Rin goes flies off as well. A more angelic figure appears after her.*

: Oh look, it's the one that Topaz doesn't like anymore.

: He still enjoys me... I have not fallen but rather a new member has grown past me... But for bringing that up, ANGEL FEATHERS!

*Kanade's angel-like wings shoot out a volley of feathers at Oriha. She then flies off and an older sister with a distinct look comes flying in, her maneuver gear hitting behind Oriha. She comes full force at her.*


*Misaka doesn't even hold to say her line, flying past Oriha at great speed.*

: Well, I'm surprised that Kanade didn't have that spot. But now I'm worried...

???: You deserve to be!

: Hey, you look sort of like a character from my show.

*A purple cure appears, her back lit up by the moon.*

: I'd NEVER be associated with that horrible trainwreck you come from. Now, HOWLING MOON!

*Cure Moonlight hits Oriha with the might of moonbeams.*

: Gweh... All this damage is starting to rack up...

*Oriha freezes in place as another magical girl in pantyhose takes Moonlight's place.*

: And this is just the beginning. But for now... TRI-DISASTER!

*Three types of missiles are launched at Oriha and she goes flying upward.*

: Nooo faaiiirrr, I'm the explosives expert!

*She starts to fall down, but instead the ground has turned into a giant Haniwa doll. She lands in the mouth and gets taunted by a person standing on the side.*

: Kukuku. Don't think you're getting away with this. ABYSSAL MAW!

*The haniwa crunches Oriha's body in a humorous way, dealing a lot of earth damage. After both Kiriha and the haniwa disappear, leaving Oriha floating in space. A thong-clad girl flies up to her.*

: This may not be as effective since I'm not in Black Lotus form, but ALLURING EMBRACE!

*Snow Black hugs Oriha, the blades on her arms dealing damage with slashing effects.*

: This should teach you that middle school girls can still be sexy when they aren't busty!

*She flies off, passing a ojou girl standing on a mountain or such holding her sword.*

: Terrorists like you deserve only one penalty, so experience my DIVINE JUDGEMENT!

*Satsuki does a spinning leap with her sword, slashing Oriha and then going for another when she lands. Satsuki then sheathes her sword.*

: That may not be much, but you don't deserve any more attention from Satsuki Kiryuin!

*With a hair wave that would make Homura jealous Satsuki leaves. However, another hime-cut ojou in a white outfit takes her place.*

: Even my series is better than yours! Though I'd prefer if we were taken more seriously.

: Well maybe you shouldn't have clothing damage as a feature?

: Nonsense. All we need to do is show more butt as all men like them! And like my spirit animal we shall raise from the ashes with our asses held high! FLAMES OF REBIRTH!

*Ikaruga moons her pantyhose as she slashes and summons a huge bird. It then flies at Oriha dead-on.*

: You shouldn't spam Brave Bird!

*A clopping noise is heard as a horse's foot is shown ominously.*

: Papi is not that brave. But I am, and I shall be your opponent this time.

*Centorea takes out a curved, Z-shaped sword. She then charges at Oriha.*

: I'll use this move I learned from video games- ZANTETSUKEN!

*Centorea splits Oriha in half again, though in a non-serious manner for effect as she's still in one piece.*

: Yet again my blade cut something unworthy...

*Centorea leaves and another flaming girl appears, though one much taller than Shana.*


: Yes... you have hurt Topaz and as a result you must pay! MEGA FLARE!

*Ayaka uses a powerful explosion on Oriha.*

: How ironiiiicc!

*Ayaka turns and waves for the next girl to come. A mysterious brown skinned loli appears.*

: Fufufu. Topaz may not know as much about me but I know that I should defeat you!

: Hey, what's with all the bad fanservice girls ganging up on ME!?

: At least we have a good chapter every year or something! And now, to show you my powers... METAMORPHOSE!

*Nemesis turns into a former villain, also with pink twintails.*

: This is for Topaz being so against me! And for all the other poor blogs he's done!

*”Chinatsu” slaps Oriha repeatably. Finally the stars in the area around the two of them go dark and the final shadow appears.*

: And, as a finisher... CLEANSING!!!

*Saber uses the powers of her Excalibur to finish Oriha off. She goes flying, shattering the blackness and even goes through the roof of the building.*

: AAAAAHHHH!!! Team Bombos is flying awaaaaayyy!!!


: That must be where Topaz is! I'll go rescue him!

: No, it's too dangerous!

: I know, that's why I'll transform first!

*Ririchiyo turns into her demon form.*

: Man, it feels good to have a transformation that's not mamocentric or picking on a flat chest girl. But enough of that, I fly!

*Riri leaps from place to place, eventually going in through the hole Oriha made. There, she sees the giant bomb-omb and Topaz laying on the ground unconscious.*

: Oh no!

*She then carries him out in a princess carry. While doing this the bomb goes off just as Ririchiyo escapes.*

: That's close, I've evaded too many explosions this year... But it looks like Topaz fainted! I'd better get some help.

*She looks around, eventually finding a school.*

: Well, I guess that a school nurse is better than nothing.

*She heads inside, Topaz still unconscious in her arms... She untransforms as she enters the school.*

: Now where could that nurse's office be?

???: Right here! I'm the nurse here, so let me look at him!

: Sure and-AH!

*What did Ririchiyo see? Fine out next time!*
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 24, 11:51 AM | 0 comments
September 17th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. If you haven't been paying attention here's what's been happening. I'm currently facing a group of villains that call themselves the "Chessmasters". While their attacks have died down as of late they decided to play a trick on me. They impersonated Nico and had me come me to this television studio. It seems that they had Super Sonico on their side, who I defeated last week. At the moment I've been discovered by Hibari, another member of their group. There's also a third member who I only know as "Bombos". A shame she didn't come with a Earth user and a Thunder user...

*As Topaz finishes the introduction a female ninja seems to be waiting in the shadows, watching both.*

: I think one of my superiors made that joke, but I don't get it...

It's from before your time, I imagine. But more importantly what are you doing here?

: I'm here to defeat you and make you give up on your blogs!

I don't think there's anything you can do to make me stop...

: How about this! WAAH! OOPS!

*Hibari attempts to leap down from the stage onto Topaz, but trips and falls butt-first on Topaz's face. Luckily her bottom is soft and squishy enough to pad her fall so he is unharmed.*

That wouldn't make me quit my blogs! Though it did feel good...

: SEE! I knew that the Chessmasters were right! Left Bishop told me that you were an evil pervert!

I'm not evil!

: That's just what an evil person WOULD say. That just means that what she says is true, and I've got to defeat you! Ninja Transform!

*Hibari transforms into her standard uniform of a track jacket and blue buruma. Even if the images show she was already wearing it.*

: See, now I'm lots tougher! Kyaaah!

*Hibari comes out swinging her arms randomly, but Topaz blocks in time. Hibari still pushes him back.*

: Huff, huff. Why aren't you attacking?

To show how heroic I am! What, isn't this some sort of paladin training?

: But no one likes Paladin, everyone prefers Mage!

I meant the class and- you know, forget it. I can manage with that sort of reference. I'll self-sacrifice for the sake of my blog!

: Don't worry, I won't be too mean. Come forth, Ninto Vroom!

*As Hibari calls her rabbit guardian appears driving a cloud. Hibari then jumps on in and charges towards Topaz.*

So Hibari is true of heart, makes perfect sense-WAIT, I'll get hit! I can't avoid in time!

*At the last second the mysterious ninja from before swoops in and carries Topaz out of harms way.*


Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 17, 9:31 AM | 0 comments
September 10th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-fourth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. To catch you up, I had been alerted that the chessmasters were on the move and that one may be Nico. Because of this Ririchiyo and I went to her concert. After talking to her for a bit we found out that Nico knew nothing about this. Instead it was some girl who calls herself "Bombos". Currently I've been cornered by Super Pawn, AKA Super Sonico, and I'm about to ask why.

: Nice synopsis.

So why have you joined the enemy?

: No Topaz, YOU are the enemy!

And then John was a zombie. Wait, no, wrong story. But why do you think I'm the enemy?

: Because you judge and m-molest innocent girls!

Hey, most times those girls come on to me! And most girls don't mind being judged either.

: R-really?

That they don't. How about I do a blog on you and we can be sure?

: But you'll molest me!

No I wouldn't! I don't want to be punched in the face by a kabuki manager!

: Eh?

Never mind. But as she says...

Quick question. Why is your name “Super”?

: I cannot answer that. I can only say it's definitely not because I was born on Krypton and are empowered by the yellow sun of Earth.

That doesn't give much information...

: I guess it's just one of those things that will stay a mystery. And you can just call me “Sonico” if it helps.

*Sonico smiles cutely.*

Hair: Sonico has pretty nice hair, but the main weakness is the color. Her hair is a bright pink, and it doesn't have enough volume to look that great. That said, pink hair aside Sonico's isn't bad. It reaches about to her mid-back, which is perfect as it allows her butt to be seen. It's also mostly straight, which I do appreciate. She has M-style bangs as well, giving her a big middle bang, but unlike a lot of girls her hair does that without any accessories or anything. The sides of her hair are also long, reaching her chest or so. Oddly enough they don't cover her ears too much, but that's because one of Sonico's biggest features. She always wears Nitroplus-brand headphones. It's an interesting feature for advertising, though I find it odd that no one mentions it in the anime (that I recall, anyway). At least she can still hear through them, and I do appreciate the cool touch. Overall Sonico's hair isn't bad but the color does let it down, at least for my tastes.
Grade: B

Eyes: Sonico definitely has the “moe” style of eyes, being big with a tarame. They're a bit too exaggerated for my tastes, and it doesn't help that they're red either. Nothing wrong with red eyes, but I'd still prefer Nico over Sonico as red eyes work with black hair better. Back to Sonico the anime seems to give her a lot of eyelashes (or at least in official art). Of course I can't forget that Sonico wore red full-framed glasses for a photo shoot, it looked great and she should wear them more!
Grade: B-

Face: Sonico has a great face for my tastes. She's cute and simple, with small features and especially a dot nose. She's also soft-looking though her cheeks could use a bit of shape to them. She's supposed to be a plump girl, after all. That said she's not too unique compared to the other females in the series. Not that there's anything wrong with that, she still has a great face for my tastes even with her flaws.
Grade: A-

: Eh? My headphones are a problem?

Nothing of the sort. If anything they're a charm point.

: That's a good thing. I don't think I could live without them. I even sleep and shower in them!

Luckily they're waterproof then, and I guess people have just gotten used to you wearing them.

: It's forbidden to speak of them. It'll lead to a game over!

I'm not sure how that works, but I don't want to take that risk. Let's continue with the blog!

*Meanwhile Ririchiyo and Nico are safely outside. The two rush over to the police officers circling a parameter around the building. While on the way, Ririchiyo brings up a good point.*

: Hey, don't you look different?

: Not at all. At least, I don't think so...

: If you do I blame MAL changing pictures.

: Oh, that? Yeah, I wanted to get a cuter image. Nico Nico Nii!

: Alright, we've got a few more hostages released. Any more in there?

: There's Topaz! And also the evil characters, but I think most of them are in there against their will...

: Figures that such a thing would happen right before my exclusive concert too!

: Don't worry, we'll be going in right away. Right after our donut breaks.

: Wait a minute, I thought I recognized you. Shouldn't you only come in some sort of Pokémergency?

: That's a wild misconception. I handle all sort of police duty.

: Hehehe... Duty. (Darn it, Topaz is rubbing off on me!)

: Are you sure that Topaz just isn't too lazy to search for a better police officer image?

: No comment.

: But we really need to help Topaz!

: Anybody who doesn't appreciate my loli body isn't worth saving. Nico Nico Nii! Joking, of course-Hey, where did she go?

*The police officer and Nico look around, but Ririchiyo has disappeared. Or at least to them, as she's running down an alleyway. She hits another familiar-looking girl.*

Familiar-sounding girl: Hey, I remember you.

: And I you. Quick, you've got to do something! Topaz is in deep trouble!

*Ririchiyo explains what happened to the girl.*

Familiar-sounding girl: That sounds like something I should help with! I'm on it!

*The girl leaps away so quickly her appearance could not be identified. She then sneaks into the building when the police aren't looking, using great skills.*

Build: Sonico has measurements! Two sets, actually. Her height is the same and she's 158 cm. A bit shorter than I expected, but a few centimeters taller than average and tall enough to not be a loli. What's different are her three sizes. Originally Sonico was written to be 90/57/80 which is really terrible and chest-focused. Luckily they improved this for the anime, with her hips growing an additional 7 cm to make her sizes 90/57/87 instead. This is backed up by many sources, including the Japanese Wikipedia. It's always good to see people correct their mistakes, if only Senran Kagura could improve the measurements for certain girls. Er, let's get back to Sonico. Maybe her next season will make her butt grow again xD. If it does they'd need to show it more as Sonico is more of a chest girl (more on that later). She did get a nice buttshot while modeling a bikini which was nice. Her legs are also pretty, being curved in the right places. Even though her waist is 30 cm smaller than her hips Sonico does have a nice belly and is portrayed as a rare plump girl that looks nice. She's voluptuous and this is treated as a good thing, inspiring Super Pochaco in the anime. Though I will say that Pochaco's measurements are more disappointing in comparison, being only 150 cm yet having measurements of 104/79/94. I do like how plump she is (her WAIST is bigger than a lot of girl's HIPS), but again the difference between chest size and hip size is too great. Maybe if Pochaco gets an anime they'll increase her hip size by 7 and we'd finally have ONE anime girl with a butt bigger than 100 cm. Oh, and getting back to Sonico in one ED she's a giantess. She breaks signs by sitting on them (sadly we don't get a good look) and bounces a helicopter off her chest. This is far better than her giantess antics in the Super Heroine game where she doesn't even touch the enemy, a shame!
Grade: B+

Breasts: As said before Sonico has a chest of 90 cm. I think it's mentioned in the show that her chest is one of her defining features. She's just so big and bouncy that I enjoyed the her chesty scenes. The show doesn't have nudity but it really doesn't need it either. I will mention that her chest is overemphasized at times, if only they'd show off her butt or other meaty parts more! She is embarrassed by her bustiness, especially when some girls are looking at her magazine and call her “too busty”. Luckily Pochaco purchases the magazine as she's inspired from Sonico being a plump model which in turn gives Sonico some encouragement.
Grade: A-

Clothes: Sonico is an idol and as expected she wears a ton of costumes. We first see her in a cute pair of pajamas, but she also wears sorta-bulky casual clothes, a maid outfit, a Union Jack/British flag-looking shirt with shorts, a sailor suit (not as a uniform), various bikinis including a white bikini or a purple one, a fuschia/pink one-piece, an unseen tiny one that the show doesn't show, Halloween and Christmas outfits, and a few frilly outfits. She also wears a teacher outfit which was one of my favorites and a yukata. However, I don't approve of all of Sonico's outfits, her cosplays in particular. In the series she dresses up as Kurisu from Steins;Gate, Miku Hatsune, and apparently Al Azif from Demonbane. As you can imagine, it's very offsetting to see a busty girl like Sonico cosplay as one of those three. At least Al, I think, was originally going to be worn by another character, but the others don't have any excuse. My least favorite outfit is the one that Sonico wore on stage that melted due to her sweat. It was embarrassing for her and I'm not a big fan of dissolving clothes, and even if it didn't melt it was an extremely tacky outfit anyway.
Grade: A-

==Meanwhile, at a mysterious castle==

*Aldra is watching Topaz over a large screen.*

: Hmmm... This new technology is staggering. I'm astounded that those simple humans could think of something so helpful.

*A formless blob emerges from the floor behind her. It eventually takes the form of a pink-haired Nico.*

: Seems your plan has worked, my agent.

Not-Nico: Ufufu. I'm just glad that those three were so easy to trick.

: Of course. Though you also did a good job encouraging the Chessmasters.

Not-Nico: They were equally simple to tease. I can't believe that “King” and “Queen” think they're the brains of the operation. Of course, you're the only queen here Aldra-sama.

: Flattery will get you nowhere. But it's all moving according to my plan, to make the demon within Topaz emerge. Ha HA HA!

*Aldra's evil laughter continues as the camera makes a zooming shot of her castle.

Personality: Sonico was originally created as a mascot for the Nitro+ company. However her popularity exploded and she eventually got her own show! In it we see a lot more of her personality. It seems that she's a gravure idol that's working her way through college. She's trying to be a biologist it seems, so she's smarter than you'd expect. Then again she does sleep in classes but that's more because she's a sleepy girl in general and a bit of a clumsy girl as well. She likes eating as well, especially sweets and her favorite are macaroons. She also plays guitar in a band called “First Astronomical Velocity”. She's also kind, taking in a lot of stray cats as well as helping her grandmother at her restaurant.
Probably my biggest problem is that Sonico originally seemed Mary Sue-ish. Not too bad, considering this is a slice of life, but she did seem “too” perfect. However, as the show went on it showed that Sonico tries really hard and almost exhausts herself doing everything. She's also earnest and pure, and aspires to be a musician with her friends. She also plays video games which always helps, one in particular she played in the series seemed to be a Bioshock clone. It's interesting how a somewhat blank slate became so detailed over the ages.
Sonico is voiced by... Super Sonico, at least according to a preview for the anime. In reality she's voiced by Ayano Yamamoto and there seems to have been a scandal which was the reason they kept her voice unknown. She does have a cute voice, fitting her personality. She also sings really well, and that includes in English as well (no, not her dub voice).
Grade: B-

Libido: Sadly this is Sonico's worst area. She has almost no libido and is extremely innocent, being embarrassed to wear bikinis and the like. Her producer also helps to keep people from exposing her to perverted activities as well. She does have some yuri teases with her band mates and she looks up to her former senpai (which is who she got her guitar from), but I don't think that counts too much.
Grade: C

Age: Sonico's official age is 18, which is pretty much perfect for my tastes. She's also a college student, as said before. Her birthday is October 14th, the same date as her premier in 2006.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 77
Average score: 8.8
Final Grade: B+

And that's the blog for this week! What do you think?

: I guess it's alright. But don't think that I'll will let you off! Go, my cats!

Cats: Meow!

*The cats lick their paws and run off.*

: Oh no! My pets!

That's what you get for using animals against me. Well, relatively untrained ones anyway.

*The cats return and rub against Topaz's leg.*

: I guess the idea that Bombos had to make me into a combat-ready unit wasn't great.

*Sonico sighs.*

Don't worry. Just because you're a slice of life character doesn't mean that you can't have goals. I'm sure you and your band will blast off like a rocket!

: You really think so?

Of course. It's not like herding cats, after all!

: I know that from personal experience.

So any idea who this "Bombos" is or what I can do to confront her?

: I don't have any clue. Like me she was always wearing a mask so I wasn't able to see what she looks like. However I can tell you that Bunny Knight is patrolling around the main stage.

Hmmm, she must be waiting for me to go there then. Thanks for the help!

: I also apologize deeply. You're not as cruel as the Chessmasters made you out to be.

My villains tend to have odd priorities. Then again battling them is usually worth it.

: Even me?

Of course, even small simple battles like this are worth it. Now you and your cats had better get out of here before Bombos catches you.

: Of course! Hope I'll see you soon.

I'm sure I will, maybe.

*Sonico leaves, with her cats aimlessly following her. Topaz goes deeper into the building, finally arriving at the main stage where Nico was set to perform.*

Now where is this "Bunny Knight" supposed to be?

???: Right here!

*A girl in a bunny mask comes out from on stage. Topaz gasps in amazement.*

Y-YOU! What are you doing working for the Chessmasters?

*Bunny Knight takes off her mask to reveal who she is.*

: I'm here to defend my allies against you being a big pervert to them! Or my name isn't Hibari!
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 10, 12:08 PM | 0 comments
September 3rd, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-third week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Riri are standing outside a television studio. On the side of the building there's a giant sign with a black-haired girl with twintails. It says "Come meet Super Idol Nico today!"*

: Wow, I wonder who the blog this week could be...

No reason to be so impolite.

: Harumph, see if I care (I do care Topaz! Please don't be angry at me...).

Don't worry, I know you're just being tsun right now. But welcome back readers. Last week we visited Mirai where I lost a Gunpla battle. Luckily I was still able to do my blog on her.

: Well, maybe if you weren't so BULL-HEADED you may have won! (I hope Topaz appreciates this silly pun).

Certainly, nice joke as well.

: T-thanks, I tried. (HE PRAISED ME!)

But after Mirai's blog we got a mysterious signal. From it we deduced that one of the Chess Masters was Nico so we've come to investigate.

: But how are we going to get her? She's probably in a place that fans aren't easily going to get to!

It should be obvious; we'll be taking the back door!

: She's not Bowser Topaz, and we don't have access to Star Road...

*Topaz opens a door in an alleyway.*

Hey, are you coming or not?

: Oh, you meant a literal back door... Y-yeah, wait for me.

*Topaz and Riri enter the building. They sneak around in an obvious fashion, but are still unnoticed.*

: Psst. Are you sure we should be back here?

Of course. It's not like we're being suspicious like a thief or anything.

: That's true, and we haven't seen anyone yet-

*A voice comes on the loud speaker.*

Voice: Security, can you please go near the back door. People have alerted us to strange individuals being spotted near there.

: Well, so much for THAT.

Luckily we're right by Nico's room. Let's jump in and investigate!

: You can't do that! She might be changing or something!

Good point. Here, you investigate.

*Topaz pushes Ririchiyo through the doorway. Both her and Nico scream as he waits outside.*

So is she decent?

: Uh, she's fully clothed I guess.

Well then, I'm coming in!

*Topaz walks into the room. In there is Nico in a robe with cucumbers over her eyes and a beauty facemask.*

: Are you the snacks I ordered? Or are you here to do my make up?


: Don't tell me you're a fan who got all the way back here! I'll call security if you are!

N-no! I swear! I'm here on official internet business!

: Well THAT'S vague...

I'm here to talk about you on my blog!

: Ufufu, I think I heard about you. You do blogs on anime girls and have finally decided to take a look at yours truly. I think I recall another person who talked about me.

I know that guy!

: Yeah, but our business is not for fun. We're here because we got a message from a person who used the phrase "Nico Nico Nii". She seems to be aggressive and wants to attack us as well.

: That's awful. But let me get ready before you come in here with cameras.

Uh, it's too late. We've been filming the whole time.


*Nico pops the cucumbers out of her eyes and jumps behind a screen. Much rustling is heard behind it. Soon Nico pops out, fully dressed in a cute vampire idol outfit with small bat wings.*

: Sorry to keep you all waiting for Super Idol Nico! Nico Nico Nii! A Nico-Nico smile, straight to your heart! Pay no attention to that impostor that was quite rude!

Do you mean you in cucumbers or the one who is trying to attack us?

: The first one! Er, both, I guess! And it w-wasn't me, Nico Nico Nii!

*Nico smiles a painful smile as she does a kira pose.*

: So it wasn't you that threatened us then?

: Of course not, I was with Maki the past few weeks. She can vouch for me. Besides, do I look like a villain?

: She does have twintails Topaz, she MUST be one!

That's true, many of our opponents have had twintails...


-But they also had pink hair. I doubt that someone with excellent black hair like Nico would battle us.

: Of course! And thank you for praising my beautiful hair, Nico Nii.

: But what about Makoto, she had purple hair!

I think she had other reasons to join the enemies. But even if she is the one, would you like to have a blog done about you, Nico?

: I'll have to talk to my agents and schedule a meeting. Then of course I can't just allow you to have a private meeting and-

*Topaz interrupts her.*

Then I guess we should leave Ririchiyo. SIIIGGHHH.

: We're not really leaving. We went through too much to get here!

I bet it's because Nico is scared to hear my opinions of her.

: N-no! I'll allow you to praise my greatness across the internet! In fact, I encourage you to do so!

Well, I guess since she's basically forcing us...

Today's girl is:

Nico Yazawa
Love Live

Hey, is it “Nico” or “Niko”?

: Or “Nickel”, wait no that's different.

: I don't mind, it's just however you want to translate it I suppose.

: How convenient, now you don't have to look up the “proper” wording!


Hair: Nico has really great hair. It's somewhat long and a great black color. In fact she probably has the darkest hair of all the Love Live girls. The problem more is in her style. I'm not a big fan of twintails, and while Nico's does fit her personality the fact that they're in back and pointed upward isn't good for her. I do like how in the music videos her hair is down and the twintails start at her neck rather than the upper part of her head. It better shows how long it is, as when they're higher her hair only goes to her shoulders while lower it reaches her waist. Though technically I can't be sure her hair is the same length between the two styles. The problem with her lower ponytails is that her hair is REALLY close to what Nozomi's looks like. That said I do like the cute bows Nico wears in the anime. I'm not too fond of her big middle bang but I can manage, and her sides reach at least past her ears which is nice. The left side is longer than the right, going to her chin it seems. She also has a few additional styles, like when she puts her hair in buns (a style which people call “Nickey Mouse”) but I tend to prefer her with her hair down. She also wears a silly poop-shaped hat in the first season. Occasionally we see her with her hair down and she looks really great, with straight long hair that goes down her back extraordinarily well.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Nico's eyes are red, and even though I'm getting better with it I'm still a bit wary to the color. Maybe because it's a bit more blood red-like opposed to just plain red. Nico's eyes are a tarame shape which fits her personality well (though there are times when she's grumpy that they're half-closed). While Nico doesn't wear glasses there were a few moments in the first season where she's wearing at least partially-transparent sunglasses. Meaning that we can see her eyes on occasion but not all the time.
Grade: C+

Face: Like a lot of Love Live girls Nico has a simple face. That's not bad, but it is getting to be a bit generic. I don't mean anything bad by that of course, I like Nico's face. Anyway, her head is acorn-shaped and her features, especially her nose, are small which is great. She has a great smile, which is fitting that “Niko Niko” is the Japanese onomatopoeia for smiling. This is where “Nico Nico Nii” comes from, though I may be wrong with the spelling. She also has pale skin, which is her charm point according to a certain fan book. She takes good care of it too, as she wears a face mask with cucumber while sleeping. That said there are times that Nico seems to be a bit more devious-looking, not that I mind as it fits her character really well. It's also pretty cute, though Nico is in general.
Grade: B

*Meanwhile, in another part of the studio*

Bunny Knight: So I'm not sure how setting up those explosives are supposed to be “heroic”.

Super Pawn: They look very dangerous! I don't want my cats to get hurt...

Bombos: Don't worry, these are only here in case of emergency. Plus we'll evacuate everyone besides the villain Topaz first.

Super Pawn: But isn't there a better way of doing these things?

Bombos: Don't ask me, it was all Left Bishop's... idea... Hey, where did she go?

*The three look around, not knowing that Left Bishop is around the corner.*

L.Bishop: Ufufu. I can't believe that they fell for such an obvious disguise. Not only that but these idiots are doing all the dirty work for me. I can't wait to tell Aldra all the good news, especially if Topaz ends up near-death and activates THAT power...

*Left Bishop disappears by melting through a brick wall. Super Pawn and Bunny Knight look around, but give up quickly once Bombos finishes.*

Bunny Knight: I can't find her anywhere...

Bombos: Don't worry, I'm all set up now. You two, go patrol and keep an eye out for Topaz. I'll stay in the control room and activate the radio controlled bombs through the cameras.

Bunny Knight: Affirmative!

Super Pawn: A-Alright!

*The two leave to search the halls and evacuate the other people inside the building.*

Build: Nico has measurements, which are always good to see. More shows should have them. Anyway Nico is 154 cm, meaning she's short but that's fine with me. Her stats say that she's 74/57/79, but as said way back in Nozomi's blog Nico lies and her bust is 71 cm. We'll discuss that more later. The bigger problem is that she doesn't show off her body all too much. There are a few moments, especially one official art where Nozomi is holding her tight so Nico's butt is sticking out and looking bigger than usual. It's nice that she knows what to show off, considering the big difference between her chest and hip measurements. She also has fairly nice legs and feet, also seen in the same image. Sadly she is still a small loli-like girl which hurts her score here. Oh, and as a reminder her light skin is her charm point. It's a bit “meh” compared to girls like Rin or Hanayo.

: I don't think they mean the same “soft cheeks” for Hanayo that you're thinking...
Grade: C+

Breasts: Like I said, Nico's bust measurement is 71 but she wrote it as 74 as she was hoping to grow those extra 3 cm in the meantime. While I do dislike girls who use fake chests I don't see this as much of a problem. It's not like 3 cm is that much of a difference. Nico is still flat. She's also a common target of Nozomi's fondling, though I think she gets her revenge when she uses her flatness to get through a tight passageway and away from Nozomi.
Grade: D

Clothes: Nico, like many idols, has a wide array of costumes. The one we first see her in, as expected of a “school-based” series, is her uniform. It consists of a blue blazer with a pink vest and white shirt underneath, a green bow tie (showing she's a third year), and a blue plaid skirt. Eventually Nico wears a pink cardigan as well, or maybe that's what the vest is and I just can't tell due to the blazer being on top.It's a great uniform, though it's a shame that Nico doesn't top it off with either pantyhose or thigh-highs (though the former is made up with Hanayo).
Nico also wears a lot of other outfits, as said before. In the anime she wears a set of fencing armor when the girls were going through the clubs, though it's portrayed as a joke. She also wears a KISS-like outfit at one time as well. She also wears a lot of idol costumes, both in the main series and the music videos. Definitely my favorite was during “Love Wing Bell” in the second season where Nico and most of the other girls wear a wonderful tuxedo. Getting to the card game Nico's outfits include a kimono, a sailor uniform, a white suit, star-shorts that show off her butt again, a Chinese dress, a maid (which is in series as well), a a cute demon with bat wings, pajamas, and probably a lot more that I don't know about. In the BiBi CD covers, AKA the group of Nico, Eli, and Maki, Nico wears outfits such as a red cross-top bikini, a nice black sleeveless dress with red tie, another kimono, a frilly bikini (though she wears that in series too), and what seems to be a winter coat. Overall Nico's clothing choices make this one of her strongest points.
Grade: A

: So you don't like my charm point being my beautiful pale skin?

Nonsense, it's gorgeous and I'd rather have it be a body part than something harder to describe. It's just a shame you're not like OSHIRIn and have a charming bottom!

: Her's is bigger!

Not compared to her chest, you've got the biggest difference there.

: Grrr, why does Nozomi know so many of my secrets...

Nozomi also has a few great charm points. They're especially pointy when it's chilly out I bet.

: Stop making perverted jokes! In fact just stop it with the jokes in general!

Sounds impossible, but since Riri is getting antsy we should get going on the blog.

: I do not have insects in my trousers, if that's what you readers are thinking...

Personality: When we first see Nico she's sneaking around the then-unnamed Muse. She also badmouths them on the internet. However, this is more because she's in the otherwise-empty idol research club. Once Honoka asks her to join, Nico seems sort of like a brat. She scolds the girls for not being serious enough and trains them hard. However, this is because she's aggressive and wants to be the best. She was once an idol as well, making her a bit jaded. Her persona when an idol is of a perky and always smiling “Nico Nico Nii” whose catchphrase is “A Nico-Nico smile, straight to your heart.” I'll admit that she got a bit annoying at times, but when we see all that she went through in the second season it really made her actions seem more realistic. She wants to be remembered and leave a lasting impression. She might enjoy or crave attention, but she's also supportive of the rest of Muse as well. She's well-informed of idol media, even having rare items in her collection, and likely used them as inspiration for her persona. Probably the biggest problem is that Nico becomes a poor joke at times, or more accurately having other characters interrupting or ignoring her or in general bad luck that happens to her. It's a shame, really. She's not one of my favorites, but that's more because the cast is so strong that it's difficult to say any that are “bad”.
Nico lives with her mother (who is unnamed) and has two younger sisters (Kokoro and Kokoa) and a younger brother (Kotarou). I can't be sure if that's the correct spelling of their names, it might have K's instead. Sadly Nico's brother doesn't have a crush on his high school-age sister. I liked how Nico was embarrassed by her mother and Maki giggled at it. Nico is voiced by Tokui Sora who does a wonderful job bringing Nico to life. Her voice isn't as high-pitched as you'd expect Nico to be, which is good. Sora also voices Nico's siblings which was a cool touch.
Grade: B-

Libido: Early on, in the music videos or so, it seems like Nico gets paired with Nozomi. I'm alright with this, even though I tend to pair her with Eli. Nozomi tends to pick on Nico the most as said so they're rivals in a way. However, the much more likely person for Nico to be paired with is Maki. Ever since a Valentine's day music video, where Maki gives Nico chocolate, they've been a common pair. It is especially shown off in the second season where Sunrise really ran with it. From sharing potatoes to Nico totally not confessing in front of Maki under the pretense of filming they had a lot happen. They're also the pairing that I most support, for Nico at least. That said I don't think they have a song as yuri as Nozomi and Eli's “Secret Garden” but I can't be sure.
Grade: B-

Age: Nico is surprisingly 17 and a third year. She graduates in the second season as well. Her birthday is July 22nd, making her older than Eli (who was born in October) but still younger than Nozomi (who has a June birthday).
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 66
Average score: 7.3
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for this week!

: Now do you see that I'm not the one who is after you?

: I'm not sure how doing her blog is supposed to show that...

*BOMB! An explosion appears in another wing of the studio.*

What was that?!

: Someone set us up the bomb! And I thought that old meme from last week was just for stupid reasons!

*A voice comes out of the loud speaker.*

Bombos: Eh, I guess that one was too obvious. Anyway, it is I, Bombos, replacement Rook for the Chessmasters!

: Oh no! They made it to the other side of the board!

Personally I would have picked a second queen. And not just because it sounds dominant...

Bombos: We've got the building locked down. Surrender yourself Topaz, and we MAY consider sparing those hostages!

: Hostages? More like you're the one that are holding US hostage!

Bombos: I assume that you know that this is a loudspeaker so I cannot hear you. But if you try to escape it will be the end of you!

We've gotta escape!

: Don't blurt out your plan!

Don't worry, she can't hear us anyway. Let's go!

*The three of them walk out of Nico's dressing room.*

Quick, to the back door!

: Sheesh, why did terrorists have to invade during MY concert!

: Now's not the time for that, let's move!

*The three start to run for the back door, which is the nearest one. However, as they do so they trigger a ceiling trap, causing it to cave in with a loud explosion. Riri and Nico seem to be caught in the blast.*

Watch out!

*Topaz shoves the two girls out of the way. Now there is a giant pile of debris separating Riri who is with Nico while Topaz is on the other side. Topaz brushes himself off as he got damaged from the blast, which dealt 40 damage to him.*

: Are you alright?

I'll survive, even from rocks falling. What about you two?

: We're fine and near the door.

Go get Nico out of here, I'll be going after the leader!

: Don't be a hero!

Thanks, but this is the kind of thing my blogs are for!

*He runs off while on the other side of the pile Riri and Nico safely escape. This doesn't go unnoticed by Bombos.*

Bombos: Ohohohoho, seems you're more selfless than I expected. Either that or more foolish. But do not think that it will be easy to get to me...

*He continues to run until there's a three-way intersection.*

Hmmm, which way should I go... HOW CUTE! A cat!

Cat: Nyah!

*There is a cat standing in one of the directions.*

Wait, I remember this from Tsubasa's blog. I'd better not pet strange animals or get distracted!

Another Cat: Myarh.

*A second cat blocks another path.*

Wait a minute, this seems to be more than just a coincidence. You cats had better escape, or this Bombos girl will blow you up!

???: Fufufu! How nice of you to care for my army!

*Topaz turns and sees a girl in a cat mask. More cats continue to surround him as well.*

TSUKIKO! Wait, no.

*His eyes look up and down the girl's curvy figure.*

Definitely not. So who are you?

???: They call me Super Pawn, and I'm one of the r-replacements for the Chessmasters!

*She throws off her mask.*

: But you might know me better as SUPER SONICO!
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 3, 8:32 AM | 0 comments
August 27th, 2015
Anime Relations: Gundam Build Fighters Try
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-second week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are standing outside a dojo.*

Welcome back everyone! Last week we visited with a Spanish idol, and this week is another idol!

: Or at least a model... (Riri, stop correcting him.)

That's true. And thanks again about finally reminding me about this girl so that we could arrange a meeting!

: Right, her schedule was quite packed. Or at least that's the excuse you gave me.

Exactly. That and I wanted to make sure Zettai was properly birthday'd.

: Judging by how quickly he ate the cake I imagine he loved every minute of it... But enough about that, let's meet our girl this week.

Great idea.

*Topaz knocks on the door. A familiar face answers it.*

: Welcome. I'm so glad to see you. I'm surprised it took this long, though.

Well, first I was kidnapped by ninjas and made to fight in an arena. Then Ririchiyo here was kidnapped by a pirate. Then I wished my friend a happy birthday and went to Germany-Spain.

: He also got Pafu-pafu. And he doesn't mean the small PreCure dog. Or, er, should I not have mentioned it?

Don't worry, Zettai has made his piece with that and has accepted my "birthday present".

: That's good to hear. He's a bit strange but a terrific friend!

Of course, and we're all a little strange so that doesn't matter!

: Speak for yourself...

*Riri glares monotonely at Topaz.*

: That is true. My little brother is quite odd but I still like him. Anyway, let's get out of this drafty doorway.

*Mirai waves in Ririchiyo and Topaz, who enter. She eventually leads them to the living room.

Nice place.

: I do wonder why there's a GunPla arena here. Though I figure it's due to your series.

: Certainly, my little brother loves to train. But getting back to the matter at hand I'll gracefully be blogged on this week!

That's good to hear because...


*The three of them gasp.*

Kirara has returned for revenge!

: Or another Chess Master!

: Or more Ninja-pirates!

???: You are all wrong, for it is I...

Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 27, 9:58 AM | 0 comments
August 20th, 2015
Anime Relations: Aikatsu!
This is the Three-hundredth-fifty-first week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*A certain meganekko and her commanding officer are walking down the street.*

: Are you sure that this diner is offering free cake to two girls today?

: O-of course! I wouldn't lie to you! (Fufufu, I'll take Mio-sama out on a date to the annual yuri picnic. I cannot believe destiny is so kind to me!)

*They arrive at the location and are greeted by a great waitress.*

: Hello hello! Welcome to the annual Yuri picnic!

: Yuri? Did you know this, Perrine?

: Y-yes! This is in celebration of, er, lilies! They bloom in the summertime, after all.

: Wow! You know loads about flowers!

: Of course, a true lady like me should know everything about flowers!

: So where is this free cake?

: Free cake! Yamada is there! Er, wait. Yamada must work right now. Let Yamada help you to your seats.

*Aoi guides the "couple" to their seats. Along the way they notice a lot of girl/girl couples. As they sit down Mio brings it up.*

: This campaign must be well known. There's a lot of groups here.

: Of course, no female can resist the appeal of free cake.

: Yamada is coming through!

*Aoi rushes through the tables with two large cakes on a plate. However, she runs so fast she doesn't notice a stray cord and trips over it. Skillfully she flips up and lands on her feet with her arms outspread.*

: Do not worry, Yamada is unharmed!

: Look at what you did, you rambunctious waitress!

*Perrine points at Mio who had the two cakes land on her. Her clothes are a mess.*

: I'm so dirty...

: M-mind if you say that again so I can record it?

: What?


: Yamada apologizes profusely! She shall take you to the washroom to clean you up. Perhaps your glasses-wearing friend would like to wait outside?

: You're kicking me out?

: Don't worry, I'm sure that it'll be short. I'll be back before you know it, Whahahaha!

*Aoi escorts Perrine out of the dining area. She then guides Mio into the actual restaurant, as the tables were outside in nice weather.*


*She kicks a nearby leg of a piece of outdoor furniture from a nearby store. However, in her anger she breaks the wooden leg off and the cart falls forward, spilling it's fruity contents all over. The red-haired shopkeeper comes out, steaming mad.*

: AGAIN!? Why can't you French girls leave my defenseless fruit alone?

: Wait, things like this have happened before?

: This is the third time this year!

*She claps as she counts.*

: Uno, dos, tres! That means three! *cough*Francés Gilip*ll*s*cough*

: Did you just say something?

: Just counting to three in a far superior language, you cheese-eating surrender monkey! You're going to have to work off all the fruit you just destroyed!

: (But if I do that I can't eat yuri cake with Mio) Er, it was a mean-spirited shota who likes playing tricks on me!

: And just WHERE is this joven? That means young boy!

: Right er, there!

*She points to Topaz who is walking alongside talking to himself.*

Welcome back everyone. I'm without Ririchiyo as you see, but she's making plans for next week. Though I sure hope that I can find a girl to do this week...

: Not much of a joven...

: Er, he's one on the inside. I assure you...

: Oh well. Hey you, get over here!


: Yeah, you!

*Topaz looks both ways and crosses the road to where Perrine and Juri are.*

What do you want?

: Did you break my cart?

*Topaz looks at Perrine who is darting her eyes back and forth.*

Technically I did, but...

: See, just as I said!

: Well then, my apologies. *Bows towards Perrine.* Or in Spanish, Apenado! You may go now.

*Perrine hurries back and is met with a cleaned-off Mio.*

: Now for you. For destroying my cart I'm going to make you work off the wasted money.

Certainly. But as long as we don't have customers do you mind if I do my blog on you? I think the world would love to hear about a certain Spanish beauty like yourself.

: I'm only half-Spanish, but I agree that the world should hear my praises! Vámonos, that means let's go in Spanish!

You heard it from the girl herself, so it seems...

Today's girl is:

Juri Kurebayashi

Hair: Juri has red hair, but I've been getting better at appreciating girls with that hair color these days. It helps that hers is a darker shade too. Usually she keeps it in a wavy side-ponytail that comes down and touches her left shoulder. Behind the ear, if you want more information. She does have a side curl on her left side as well, giving a bit of balance though her ears are seen on both sides. The side curl even seems to have a bit of “curl” to it. Her bangs are swept to the left as well, looking really nice with her side tail. The look really fits a Spanish girl like her. She even has a flower in her hair as well, looking really pretty and making her hair even more impressive. Length-wise it's sort of hard to estimate normally. She does have it down a few times in the series, looking amazing and you can tell her hair is at least past her shoulders and also has a LOT of volume.

Juri with her hair down

One of the best alternate hairstyles for Juri is also when she performed as Miyabi, another idol, for a character's going away party. She looked really great with the full, long hair and impersonating means that she likely has longer hair than you'd expect. In flash backs we see her have a shorter variety of her current hairstyle as well as twintails. Oddly enough, Juri has a similar hairstyle to another idol; Seira. Though Seira has a more traditional ponytail. Juri also looks sort of like Maki from Love Live, mainly with her hair down. Though Maki's hair is much shorter.
Grade: B+

Eyes: Juri has really great eyes. The shape is a nice curve, not quite a tarame and definitely a softer tsurime, but a tsurime nonetheless. She has some eyelashes but they aren't too big of a problem. She has my favorite color, a lovely dark purple. Sadly, unlike a lot of other idols, Juri hasn't worn glasses (even as a disguise).
Grade: B

Face: Juri's face is similar to a lot of the previous Aikatsu girls. Not exactly, but I mean that they have similar features. Juri's face is somewhat simple, with small features including her nose. She has an amazing smile, especially her great one in the second OP (well, second one that she's in so the sixth one in total). Her cheeks are also somewhat rounded giving her a bit of full-ness to an otherwise acorn-shaped head.
Grade: A

*Meanwhile, Perrine and Mio continue their date. But they're far from the only yuri couple at the picnic...*

: I can't believe that you talked me into another date.

: Come on! I can't even remember when we last appeared in the blog!

: Er, "blog"?

: I'm sure certain readers will know. But anyway, taste this.

*Nico feeds Maki cutely a piece of cake.*

: Ahhh! *eats it.* Here, let me do the same.

*Maki does the same.*

: Ahhh! *eats it.* See, I told you this would be great. You got to feed the great Nico Nico Nii, and only the most trusted of my f-friends are able to do so! You should feel proud!

: Yeah yeah...

==Meanwhile, in a completely other location==

L.Bishop: Are you preparing the performance area properly?

Bombos: Of course! Are you questioning my expertise of explosives?

L.Bishop: No, but I'm just trying to be more involved. Nico Nico Niiii~

Super Pawn: You don't have to do that any more. Please.

L.Bishop: Hey, it's not like you two are doing anything either!

Bunny Knight: Yeah, but that's because we're not skilled for preparations like this.

*Bunny Knight shoves various slices of cake in her mouth.*

Super Pawn: Where did you get those?

Bunny Knight: Before our meeting I met with a certain thong-wearing dom and my eyepatch best friend. Then we went to a picnic with free cake! They kept on wanting to feed me too...

Super Pawn: Sounds delicious, I hope I can get there before it closes. I'd love to try their macaroons...

L.Bishop: Man, is this a team of evil-I MEAN HEROES or dessert eaters?

Bombos: Can't it be both?

*Left Bishop sighs.*

Build: Sadly Juri doesn't do as well here as her body is more of a middle school girl's. That said she does have a WONDERFUL body for her age. She's definitely a “sexy”-type of idol and seems curvier than some of the other girls. She has a great waist and shapely stomach, both of which were shown off well in the beach episode. She also has pretty nice legs, considering the series. From what I've read it was said she was 158 cm tall in some book, but I can't verify that. Juri's biggest flaw is that she really doesn't have any good scene. They really needed to show off her “culo” more.

: That means “butt” in Spanish! Good job.

*Juri gives him a thumbs up and a wink.*
Grade: C+

Breasts: Like Yurika, Aoi, and Sumire before her Juri really doesn't have much of a chest. It's both a mix of the series and the fact that they're all middle school students (or were, in the former cases).
Grade: D

Clothes: Juri makes up a LOT of points here though. Her usual outfit is the Starlight Academy uniform, which I've discussed before. For simplicity here: The Starlight Academy school uniform, consists of a dark blue top coat with a white shirt inside, a red ribbon around the collar with a gold button, and a white skirt with a dark blue line and two buckles. On the shirt are four gold buttons, with the top and bottom two connected by a chain. Juri sadly doesn't have any legwear and instead wears almost knee-high high-heeled boots which are pretty meh. Her tracksuit is mostly white with purple sleeves, looking nice against her eyes. She also wears a Flaminco dress both in the series and in official art. During her role as the Aikatsu Sensei she wears a pink teacher-like dress-suit. It's sort of hard to describe, but her PANTYHOSE is important of course. When we see her in casual wear on New Years she's wearing a green dress that looks nice on her as well as red tights. During the beach episode she wears a pretty revealing bikini, or at least as revealing as a kid's show would allow. It has a somewhat narrow bottom and spaghetti straps that meet on her chest while the top itself almost seems like a tube top. It looked really sexy, is what I'm saying. She also wore a black and purple kimono during the summer festival episode and a chef's uniform (with scarf) for a restaurant stage play.
Juri's main brand is Sangria Rose. Summarizing the brand image it's a Spanish-oriented style that utilizes reds and oranges to show how passionate it can be. Juri wears it very well, but I seem to prefer the coords with a more purple look (such as Juri's Poison Apple Coord). I can't wait to see her in the “Señorita Scheherazade” as it seems like a cool Arabian-themed one that shows off her stomach. Overall Juri fits her brand amazingly and her other outfits are sexy and fitting as well!
Grade: A-

: It is a shame that you cannot be attracted to my sexy middle school student body.

No worries, I'm certain that there's someone out there that thinks that you're one sexy Señorita!

: Thanks for that, and Señorita means "girl" in Spanish!

*Their conversation is overheard by a certain softball player.*

: Eh? I thought we defeated him!

*Her companion looks up from her sketchbook.*

: Did you say something?

: Nothing major. I just thought that Moerumba was around for some reason.

: I sure hope not, but I'm guessing we destroyed him good last time.

: I'll take your word for it. Maybe it was that one Spanish grocer nearby.

: That's a far more reasonable idea.

*Mai goes back to sketching as Saki eats a slice of cake. She looks bummed for some reason.*

: This definitely isn't as great as the cakes back home...

Personality: Juri is a VERY passionate girl. She'll do a few dance steps or add a flourish when she's speaking to add dramatic emphasis, showing how passionate she can be at a moments notice. She'll also sprinkle random Spanish into her speech. It's nice how they try, but according to people she's not always correct (a Jalapeño isn't Spanish at all). I do like how she adds explanations as well, and her catchphrase is "Gracias, in other words, thank you." Juri also occasionally shouts “Gracias” while sleeping which sounds really cute. She knows all this Spanish because her father is a Spanish chef (with the not-quite accurate name “Serio Kamino”, the first name isn't a Spanish name at all and the second maybe a translation error or something). Her mother is an actress, and one of Juri's first arcs was that she wanted to break out from her mother's shadow. Luckily she was able to and became a character in a drama as well as the various performances she does in the series. She's skilled at both ballet and Flamenco and her favorite foods are ham and paella (which is Spain's national dish). Even if her father makes omelets the Japanese way, or that's at least how Juri did it in the restaurant sketch. Speaking of notable episodes we can't forget about “Jurius Caesar Salad”. That's the name of Juri's character in the Vampire Mystery episode, playing a vampire hunter in one of the best episodes from the third season. In general she's a good idea of what Japan thinks people from Spain are like; fiery, passionate, and dramatic. That's not saying she's a stereotype, she's a great character and fits in well with the other girls. It's just really hard for me to define all of Juri's appeal. She's definitely a “Hot Wind” of Aikatsu, though she's no “Pedo”... Oh, and her idol aura has roses and glass rotating around her. The glass part is important as that's what the “Ri” in Juri means, and the “Kure” part of her last name means “crimson red”.
Grade: A-

Sadly Juri doesn't swear like a Spaniard.

: To be fair that's most likely because my show is made for kids. Well, that and such things wouldn't be well-known in Japan.

A shame. So do you think you could make an example? My blog is PG-13, after all.

: Alright then, let's use this one: Me Ca-

: Pupu!

*The fairy starts eating a slice of cake between a transition.*

: Hey! You're supposed to be hidden!

: Allow Fuup a bit of cake. Besides, I don't think that anyone has noticed.

: I suppose you're right. Better get the other fairies out too.

*We transition back to Topaz and Juri.*

: -en la hos-

: Hestia! Goddess Hestia!

*A white haired young man flags down another waitress, again during a sudden transition.*

: B-Bell-kun, I told you not to disturb me while I'm working!

: But you left so suddenly and without telling me that I wanted to make sure you were safe. You're my heavenly HOST, after all.

: Bell-kun <3...

*We return back to Juri and Topaz. Juri flourishes a bit while Topaz's mouth is agape from such languages. He shakes his head back to normal.*

Well then, let's hope that Zettai is a "host" in that case.

: Sounds like he's well-informed of Spanish culture, I can't wait to meet him.

I'm sure that it'll be a while as he doesn't do girls whose shows/manga haven't ended. But speaking of "Spanish Culture" and blogs how about we get back to yours!

Libido: Juri is an interesting case as far as Aikatsu goes. When we first are introduced to her Akari, the lead idol, keeps calling her “hot”. It was more in the “passionate” meaning, but I still figure I should add that. She's often paired with Hinaki as the two are childhood friends. In addition they became Passionate✮Jalapeño when they were making duo units. There was also a tease that she was possibly seeing a date in the festival arc, with all the major male characters getting teased. She was actually waiting for her father, though I'll mention that she doesn't seem to have a complex like that either. I'd probably say that Hinaki is the closest she has to an actual relationship but I can't be sure. And hey, I welcome her series proving me wrong like it did with Sumire; hopefully Juri will show someone how “passionate” she can be xD.
Grade: C+

Age: Juri is thirteen when we first see her and she's since aged to fourteen. Her birthday is July 31st and sadly she didn't get a birthday episode.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 67
Average score: 7.4
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for this week!

: That's it?

*She spins a few times for drama, with rose petals coming out as she settles into a pose.*

: That seems like a low score for one as passionate as I am!

Don't worry. The score really doesn't mean too much. I still appreciate you, though not nearly as much as another friend of mine.

: I hope it's not Buddha. I've had enough of him bad-mouthing paella. That cabr*n la Hostia.... That means-

No need to clarify, I'm sure that the tone of your voice is enough to let people know what you meant.

: But isn't this a written blog?

Don't worry about it. Besides, it seems that my assistant has finally arrived.

*Ririchiyo walks up to Topaz.*

: I'm back... From the FUTURE! Er, sorry for the poor pun, but she did say that you could do her next week. What are you doing here?


: As long as Infamy isn't around I don't mind. But you should do your blog.

: Do not worry, small girl.

*Juri claps a few times.*

: Topaz has already done his blog already on me. And since he helped repair the stand during it I guess I can let him go.

I did?

*The stand is as good as new.*

Wow, I didn't even realize what I was doing. I was so busy with the blog that I didn't even narrate that.

: I blame you not thinking of an excuse until now. But since you're done we should be getting back.

Indeed. See all you fans next time where we'll be looking at a girl we promised a blog on a few months back! See you later too, Juri!

: Adios! That means “Good-bye” in Spanish!
Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 20, 9:55 AM | 0 comments
August 13th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-fiftieth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Riri are standing outside a large medieval castle. A bat even flies by.*

: That's not a good omen.

Well, it's not like it hit either of us. And welcome back readers. As hinted at last week we're at a vampire's castle.

: Unlike last week I don't have a huge butt!

Let's not go that far...

*Topaz pokes her butt, making it jiggle.*

: S-stop that! We're on camera!

Er, I suppose you're right. Anyway, lets get going in.

*They step up to the gigantic gothic doorway. Topaz knocks using a huge door knocker. The doors open with a loud creak.*

: I'm glad you didn't place a boob joke there.

The thought didn't even occur to me, great pun!

*Riri sighs as they head up stairs. The stairs creak with each step, and a giant picture seems to stare at them as they pass by.*

: This seems more like a Halloween adventure.

Don't worry, the I've informed the mistress of the castle that we were coming. We shouldn't get too injured.

: "Too injured"?

Anyway, it looks like we're here!

*Topaz knocks on a bedroom door. Much rattling is heard from within, but eventually a voice calls out from within.*

???: C-Come in, my servant for today!

*The two walk in to see a young-looking vampire with great hair sitting in her bed. She's wearing cat ears and cute pajamas.*

: Welcome to my domain! So you're the one who wants to talk about me today then?

That I am.

: Hey, this girl looks familiar... Are you sure she didn't work in a restaurant or something?

: You must be joking, do you really think that a vampire such as myself would stoop to such a lowly job?!

Hee hee hee.

: What are you laughing about?

A "Loli" job...Fufufu..

: I don't get it.

: To be fair it's hardly a joke. But shouldn't we get going on the blog for this week, Topaz?

Wait, I have a better joke!

: I do enjoy good puns.

Well, what is always behind Hazuki when she's naked?

: Eh? Is someone watching me bathe?!

: I blame Zettai already!

No, it's not a guy. It's a "Full Full Full Moon!"

*Ririchiyo and Hazuki glare at Topaz for his bad pun.*

: Maybe you should just start the blog...

As long as Hazuki is alright with it.

: Of course, I want the whole world to know how beautiful I am!

Well, you heard it from her, so...

Today's girl is:

Tsukuyomi: Moon Phase

Hair: Hazuki has amazing hair. It's long though it is hip-length so it may cover her butt on occasion (though it's pointed at the bottom so it's not a big problem). I do like how it's usually free, flowing beautifully. Her side bangs go all the way past her chest though, giving her a great hime cut (especially with her bangs). I really love blunt bangs lolis so Hazuki nearly instantly captivated me. About the only minus is that she has two noticeable V-shaped gaps in her bangs, one over each eye, compromising her otherwise perfect hair. I will also add that it's a gorgeous purple color, though in some pictures it's a dark blue instead but both colors are amazing for my tastes. While the majority of time she has free hair I will mention that she doesn't look bad with a ponytail, especially with her big bow., or with twintails as well She also occasionally wears a cute headdress. And, of course, we can't forget her great cat ears. While it's just an accessory she wore them in the infamous “Nekomimi mode” opening and they are one of Hazuki's most remembered features.
Grade: A

Eyes: Hazuki has nice, mostly light blue eyes. They aren't as dark as her hair around the pupil, but it seems that her pupil is a darker color (or at least I think that's what the effect they were going for was). She has a tarame for enhanced cuteness, though her alternate form Luna has a tsurime and red eyes. Not sure if red eyes go as well with purple hair as well as black hair yet, but considering that side is more supernatural I'll let it slide. They look fantastic in the first ED though. She'll also occasionally have a tsurime depending on her mood as well. Sadly she doesn't usually wear glasses but she did seem to in a single opening (the visuals change with each episode). Sadly I didn't write down the episode number so I can't be exact.
Grade: B

Face: Her face is very cute and youthful, fitting her loli-teen body. Her skin is soft-looking and her cheeks are shiny and pinch-able. Hazuki is another girl whose in-series beauty can be seen outside that world as well. Her small features certainly help as well, and she has a really adorable smile. Do note that she has vampire-like fangs as well, which are put to use. They're kind of cute, but I'm not a fan of blood so I'm not big on her “use”. I won't count her “real form” which is so surprising that Kouhei, the male lead, calls her a monster when he sees it.
Grade: B+

Hey Riri, did you remember to bring the packages?

: ... You're right! I left it outside! I'll go get it now.

*She leaves, but quickly returns holding two presents.*

: Inside this present isn't a hot springs, that would be silly.

: I can smell it already, smells sweet!

*Riri carefully unwraps the two presents. Both seem to be deep brown chocolate cakes. Hazuki's eyes light up.*

: Are those for me?

One is, at least. The other is for Zettai.

: Don't tell me...

Later on. Not yet. I don't want you to have to sit there with cake on your butt.

: Why would there be cake on her butt?

: *rolls eyes* You'll see...

Anyway, as thanks for allowing us to blog you I present this German chocolate cake! Figured it might remind you of your homeland.

: Looks delicious. Can I start eating it already?

Of course!

*Hazuki pulls out a fork and starts to eat the cake by herself.*

: Wait a second. If this is Hazuki's castle then how did we get to Germany so quickly?

It's not important. To be fair the cake itself isn't German either.

: Fwat doesn't make it fany fwess dewicious.. Omm nom nom...

: Just get on with the blog. All her eating is making me hungry.

Me too, but we should get back to the blog...

Build: Hazuki, like many vampire lolis, doesn't have much of a body to speak of. Despite being a great hime cut loli she doesn't flip certain switches for me. That said I can see a lot of her appeal. Her short stature makes her easy to carry, and she also seems to have lovely soft skin. Her body is fair, with a nice belly but her curves aren't completely filled out either (namely her butt). If I had to name her best feature it would have to be her legs. She gets a few nice shots of her legs, namely in the second OP, and I'm pretty sure she goes around barefoot at times too. Also do note that, unlike every other SHAFT vampire , Hazuki doesn't grow up in a sequel or further on in the series. At least as far as I know, sadly the manga hasn't been fully translated. We do see her as a really cute child though. I'll also add that there's silliness in the OP where a turtle turns into Hazuki in a shell, making it seem like she's laying eggs. Not my type of fetish, though.
Grade: C

Breasts: Sadly Hazuki lacks anything here. Not much to say otherwise, though I do suppose that the anime may have made her bigger (though they didn't make a big deal about it either).
Grade: D

Clothes: Hazuki does wonderful here though. When we first see her she's wearing a frilly gothic lolita outfit though usually white ones (a shame as black would go well with her hair). She also wears a miko outfit later on in the series, looking wonderful in it. This shouldn't be confused with the waitress costume which consists of a pink top and blue bottom and looks similar to a miko outfit. She also wears a cat-like costume at first to go outside in, it seems really heavy and hot (especially considering a certain scene). Underneath that she wore a gym uniform with a blue buruma, my favorite type! One of Hazuki's most famous outfits consists of just a cloak with nothing underneath (though through good angles we don't see anything). She also wears cat-hooded pajamas and a cute school-ish outfit with a plaid skirt and red backpack. In the opening she wears a spacesuit with cat ears as well as a big bear suit, though I don't think that's actually canon. During a clothes shuffle scene she wears various outfits including: A black Chinese dress with nylon thighhighs with GLASSES (though small ones) and ring hair, a yellow T-shirt with spats and a white tail, another gym uniform with sadly short socks, overalls and a large shirt, a Christmas-looking dress, a really big kimono, and a white frilly dress with cat paws (on her hands and feet I mean). In official art she also has another casual outfit with a cute beret and scarf. In the OVA she wears a lovely blue competition swimsuit which fits her loli body well. In general her outfits are excellent and I'm probably forgetting a few or so.
Grade: A

: How dare you mock my loli body!

I wouldn't do anything like that, your body is perfect just the way it is. It's just not to my liking in certain areas!

: You should show your bottom off more, like me! Er, n-not that I show my butt off a lot to Topaz or anything...

: Grrr, I have a completely different appeal from those cows. I'm more cute than sexy and Topaz punishes me for it! It's time to teach him a lesson with my vampire magic!

You'd better not be using it to “age up”!

: Certain people wouldn't appreciate it.

: You can't stop me – FULL FULL FULL MOOOON!

*Hazuki spins around a few times and makes a puff of smoke. As the smoke clears...*

Am I cuter now, Oniisama?


*Topaz nosebleeds and falls unconscious for a bit.*


*Topaz wakes up with a shock.*

Whoa, I felt light headed for a bit there.

: Don't worry, Hazuki made you spray blood all over.

Well, I guess she is a vampire so it only makes sense. But speaking of which let's get back to the blog!

Personality: Hazuki is definitely a tsundere. She seems selfish and spoiled at first, but definitely gets better. The reason for her poor social skills were that she was stuck in a castle for most of her life and kept away from her mother for some time. She doesn't have any other contact with others until Kouhei shows up to photograph her. She bites him to make him her slave, but he remains unaffected due to his unique power. Despite this, she continues to try to make Kouhei her slave, calling him Oniisama in a great use of that word. It's believe early on that sunlight will kill her, leading to one of my favorite scenes in the series where she runs in a heavy animal costume in great heat when she hears that Kouhei might be in trouble, nearly dying herself. It really showed how much she cared for him, though it is slightly ruined by the fact that she's a daylight walker. Yes, that means that she could have made that trip anyway. But going back to that, her ability to not be affected by the daytime makes her hunted by various other vampires who want that power for herself.
Hazuki also has an alternate personality named “Luna” that gets freed during the full moon. This personality is a lot more evil than Hazuki's elegant lolita personality. Luna also had the power to take over Hazuki, but luckily after a major battle she becomes free of the implanted personality as her relatives wanted to be able to control Hazuki. She's also watched over by her familiar Haiji who is a cat guardian/familiar. She occasionally takes a small humanoid form which Hazuki really should tease with giantess fun-I MEAN *cough*. She also still argues with Kouhei as he should obey her whims. I enjoy her preview puns as well, since I almost forgot to mention them.
Hazuki was one of Chiwa Saito's first roles, which seems funny considering how much SHAFT uses her voice these days. It's a great fitting voice from one of my top voice actresses and even though she's a bit higher than usual it fits Hazuki really well. Monica Rial is a great American dub role, but I don't have a good opinion of her as Hazuki as I like Saito's rendition too much.
Grade: B

Libido: Hazuki deeply loves Kouhei and wants to be his lover/master. She gets jealous when he's around other girls, especially the young girl who is to be his fiance. The relationship is staggered at times, not just because Hazuki is a tsundere but due to supernatural reasons as well . One example is when he gained his ability to see spirits and was afraid of her, but luckily he cares enough about Hazuki to seal away that power. Sadly I'm not sure if they end up together in the manga, but it would be a big disappointment if they don't.
Grade: B-

Age: Hazuki is early teens in appearance, though that might not be correct. I've heard that she looks to be 13-14, but her vampire body may betray this. Of note is that Kouhei is a college-age guy, if I remember correctly, so this may be a better relationship for Zettai.
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 68
Average score: 7.6
Final Grade: B

And that's the final score.

: Gaaaoooo! That's unfair! I should score much better than you gave me!

: I imagine that Zettai would. He's a lot more fair to those of us who are glorious lolis.

To be fair it's not just her body that's a flaw for her. She's not an excellent Tsunshun like you are, Riri.

: HEY! (A-at least Topaz remembers the name of what I am...)

: I'd love to meet this "Zettai" person. Where is he?

I think he's under the rule of another vampire currently.

: Buuuuuu.

Don't worry as it's only for this month.

: Not that he'd immediately do you at the end of the month. I imagine he has a big epic storyline that can't be interrupted.

Finales are a funny thing. But I know a perfect way to remind Zettai that you exist...

*Topaz brings out the second cake.*

: Again with the cakes? You're going to spoil that guy...

: I'm not sure what I have to do..

Can you show her then, Ririchiyo?

*Riri sighs and glares at Topaz.*

: Do I really have to?

I guess not. Maybe Zettai won't mind just a normal cake today. SIIIIGGGGHHH

: FINE! Here, do what I do.

*Riri presses her loli shiri against Hazuki's as the two squat above the cake.

: I'm still not sure what you want me to do...

: It's simple. On the count of ten we sit on the cake.

: And he actually e-enjoys this?! How perverted!

But he's still my friend and deserves delicious birthday treats!

: You're just saying that because of the cake from Chizuru and Ikaros you got last week...

...Not at all. *averts gaze.* Now, how about you two take a seat, so to speak.

: Fine then. One... Two...

*Ririchiyo and Hazuki rub their butts together, drawing out the time before sitting on the cake.*


*Topaz pushes down on Riri and Hazuki's shoulders and pushes them butt-first into the cakes. They squirm slightly, making sure to envelop it in their odors. After a bit they stand up.*

: Aw man! Now our butts are all dirty!

*She shoves it into the camera.*

: This underwear cost so much and now it's ruined! What are you going to do now?

*Hazuki follows Riri's lead and wiggles her bottom.*

Don't worry, I have the perfect solution! A Fade-in/Fade-out!

: I don't get how that's going to help.

Like this: FADE OUT!

*The screen fades to black for a few seconds. It then fades back in, with Topaz licking chocolate off his lips as well as using his fingers to help wipe his mouth. Hazuki and Riri glare at him in disgust.*

See, I knew it would work!

: I can't believe that you'd do such a Zettai thing!

: Pervert! Pervert! That tears it, I'm kicking you two out!

: Can't I stay?

: You're welcome back anytime. But Topaz can only come in an emergency! E-even if it's just because I need someone to talk to!

Of course, I'll be awaiting that time. Now, let's get the cake and send it right to Zettai! Thanks for having us as well!

*He packages up the cake and leaves with Ririchiyo. Once outside Riri brings up a good question.*

: So any ideas about the person you'll be talking about next week?


*He looks at the German chocolate cake.*

This cake reminds me of a certain girl...

: Why, because she has dark skin or something?

Unfortunately no, there needs to be more dark skinned girls in shows. I mean because, much like the cake, this girl is not-quite from a European country.

: ...Didn't Zettai scold you for talking about the last girl from that show? Especially since it's still ongoing.

Yeah, but this time I waited a lot longer. Plus I like being proven wrong, especially in "libido". But I hope everyone is looking forward to next week's girl!
Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 13, 10:08 AM | 0 comments
August 6th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-forty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Riri are exploring a game land. However, Riri is much taller than the even shorter than normal Topaz.*

Welcome back everyone. As you can see we're currently in a game world. I decided that after all the activity we could use some cooling down.

: I can't believe that you were able to convince me to play this ridiculous game... Pervert.

What are you talking about?

: Isn't it obvious?

*The camera zooms out to reveal that Topaz is currently butt-high to Ririchiyo. Not only that but her buttocks have become twice as large as normal, nearly globular in size.*


I see nothing wrong with that. In fact...

*Topaz smiles perversely.*

: Stop staring!

*Topaz spanks Riri's inflated buttocks, causing them to jiggle.*

: Ah~ T-TOPAZ! Stop that!

Fiiinnneee.... But anyway don't you want to fight some monsters?

: You haven't explained this game at all.

Oh, it's quite easy. You just use your butt to grind against creatures.

: ...Really?

Yeah! Can you believe that Zettai was able to send me a copy?

: Why am I not surprised. But then again this IS his early birthday blog so I'll give him SOME leeway. What should I do first?

*An innocent frog leaps into the battle.*

How about try it out on that?

: I guess. Let's see here... POSTERIOR IMPACT!

*Ririchiyo leaps into the air and lands butt-first on the virtual frog. It dies as her impact even causes a small crater. That said the frog smiled the whole time and spits out three gold coins.*

: All that work and all I get are three coins?

Don't worry, those are worth 10 gold apiece!

: The economy is odd.

No no no. The drops just LOOK like three coins. That's just how the game works.

: I see then. Then what should I try fighting next?

*A thin tree with a tree-like face and branch arms emerges.*

This one looks tougher, you'd better watch out!

*It throws a spank, jiggling Riri's buttcheeks further and causing some damage.*

: OW! My Hit points!

I think you mean your HIP points!

: That is a horrible joke and-... *takes a look* that's actually what they're called *sighs*. Well, let's get this over with-GRINDING STROKE!

*Ririchiyo carefully places the wood creature between her buttcheeks and slides up and down. The wood creature becomes enfatuated and stops attacking!*

Faster! Faster!

: Pervert! But it does seem to be working...

*She rubs so fast that the wood creature starts to shake and dies, blasting sap out of the top of his head. He also drops out three coins.*

: Man, I'm glad that I didn't get a splinter from that wood.

Right, that's one of the few things that I wouldn't use my mouth to take out of your butt.

: Oh yeah, you're weird with splinters, aren't you.

Of course. Though talking about your butt sure gives ME wood...

*He fondles Riri's giant buttcheeks.*

: Ahhh~ S-stop that this instant!

*Topaz obeys.*

: Well, at least we're getting money from this. But what do YOU do?

I'm just here to aid you in PVP. Also called BVB in this game because-

: You don't need to tell me the dumb acronyms, I can figure out that means BUTT VS. BUTT.

Exactly. But are you interested?

: Sorta, but I can't think of any self respecting woman that would play a game like this.

???: You thought wrong!

*A voice comes from behind Riri and Topaz. They turn to find a very coincidental girl...*

Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 6, 11:41 AM | 0 comments
August 3rd, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-forty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone! Today is a special day!

: That's right, it's that time of year again. The day that Topaz descended upon Earth and blessed it with the miracles (man, why did I agree to read such a dumb phrase...)

Exactly, but not only that but today we have a special blog for you!

: That's right! Though I have no idea who it could be...

Neither do I! Let's go out exploring then!

*They leave the house.*

: Smell that fresh air!

I'd rather be inside.

: *Sigh* You're so lazy...


: That's not something to be proud of!

I'm sure I'll get better-Hey look! A cat!

Cat: Meow!

: Don't go and pet it!

I'm going to pet it! It's so cute!

: But it's probably feral! It could attack you or something. Or it's a trap made by one of your many enemies!

Nonsense, who would trap a precious animal like that.

: Alright, but don't come crying to me once you get caught in a trap...

*Riri starts to walk away, but behind her a bunch of clicks followed by a loud clank.*


*She turns around and facepalms as Topaz is caught in a large cage. He has several scratch marks on his face, though he remains at the same HP.*

: What did I just tell you?

That this was a trap and I shouldn't pet the kitty because it might attack.

: And what just happened?

...Exactly that...

: Well then, I'm going to leave you there. Otherwise you won't learn your lesson.

???: Nyahahahaha! Nyah've finally captured my prey!

*A mysterious white haired girl in pajamas falls from the nearby tree. She's wearing cat pajamas.*

: Who is that?

???: It is Nyah...

Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 3, 9:42 AM | 0 comments