emperortopaz's Blog

May 26th, 2016
Anime Relations: Momo Kyun Sword
This is the Three-hundredth-ninety-first week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone!

*Topaz stretches.*

Man, I feel great.

: See? I knew that one of my "massages" would perk you up.

: I'd rather not know...

: Especially once I stopped using my hands, ufufufu.

: I SAID I didn't want to know!

Don't make Ririchiyo nervous. *Turns to his assistant* She didn't do anything like you're expecting. Unless you think she stepped on my back.

: I suppose that's not as bad as I was think-HEY! That's my favorite seat! Hopefully she didn't break anything!

: Don't worry, I was gentle.

It still felt great. Somehow I feel as if I regained my lost hit points.

: Sadly you did not gain a level, though.

: In an earlier draft he would have. But speaking of blogs shouldn't we find another girl to talk about?

: What? You don't want to speak about me again?

I don't think the reader will appreciate that.

: Or he'd think it was all one big mistake.

A shame about "Character" from "Show", I suppose.

: I don't know what that means.

: Never mind, blog humor.

Exactly.

: I see. So what should I do while you do this thing?

Well, I guess you can watch over the house and do housework and stuff.

: Don't push all the work on her just because she's a maid!

: I don't mind, but...

*Críet takes out a large cash register-like machine.*

: I'm going to charge you for everything...

Whoa now, let's not do anything too crazy!

: You're so cheap, Topaz.

*While Topaz and the others are talking they don't notice a bush sneaking around outside his house.*

???: Ufufu, they do not expect a thing. Now, to wait here until they exit...

*Back inside.*

: Well, I think we've wasted enough time inside. Come on, let's go searching for girls.

Cruising for babes?! I didn't know you would allow me to do that!

: NOT THAT! I mean one for the blog!

Of course.

: Good luck. I'll stay here and take care of the house.

Sounds good to me.

*Riri and Topaz leave the house, with Críet waving nicely from the doorway. She closes up and Topaz looks behind him to make sure that everything is alright.*

: Stop dawdling! We've got to find a girl-and fast!

I was just worried and-OOMPH!

*A girl leaps out of the mysterious new bush and tackles Topaz to the ground. Riri is still walking forward, not noticing the attack.*

: Let's see... That's this much for bus fare and-

A PEACH!

: Right, that much a piece and-

No, A PEACH!

: What? Do you want some fruit to snack on or-

*She finally turns around and sees Topaz is under a girl wielding a polearm. His hands are on the spearhead base, the point over Topaz's head. *

: AHH! TOPAZ! YOU'RE IN TROUBLE!

I know!

: Get off him this instant!

*Riri slams her body into the mysterious girl's body and pushes her away.*

: Reveal yourself!

???: I am...

*The girl flings off her huge cloak.*

: MOMOKO!

: That's it? No last name?

I think she's based on a fairy tale.

: I see then.

: I don't know what you mean by "fairy tale", but I was born from a peach!

: Sounds suggestive. I'd say someone I know would like that, but...

No, she means the fruit.

: Ah yes. Now I remember. She's that one genderswapped Momotarou, right?

Exactly!

: Seems my talent precedes me! Do you want to stand down or face me in battle?

Can I wait until after my blog is finished to decide?

: What's a blog?

: He basically talks about you to other people.

: This isn't going to require me to remove clothes... right? Like when I got popular as an idol.

Not unless you want to-KYAN!

*Riri smacks him upside the head.*

: Hey! You can't have nudity during the blog. And stop trying to corrupt innocent girls.

I wasn't trying on purpose, but as you can see...

Today's girl is:



Momoko
from
Momo Kyun Sword


Though I would like to mention how dumb the name "Momoko" is for her.

: Well, technically she is a swap of Momo-TAROU.

I meant because her "peach" isn't in the right spot.

: What do you mean by that?

Peaches are obviously butts, not breasts! A shame you don't show off your "true peach" instead.

: To be fair breasts are usually "melons" and Suika already had THAT name...

Fair point, but even if she's Momoko due to coming from a peach there's no reason for her dumb outfit and-

: Whoa whoa whoa. Let's not get too carried away. There's still plenty of blog to go.

Fair point, so let's get started!

Head
Hair: Momoko really has lovely hair. It's a beautiful black color, easily my favorite color for hair. That said, she does have the ability to fuse into different forms using her animal companions. This in turn changes her hair color into blonde, green, blue, or pink depending on which companion she uses (the last one being all three for the finale). Not as great as her basic black hair, but even the pink version isn't too troublesome. She also has somewhat-nice bangs. They look almost hime-like, especially with the sides being so long (and layered, she both has her ears covered and hair down to her neck) though her bangs have a large part in the center. This is because she wears a red peach headband. Her hair is really long as well, reaching down past her feet even when up in a ponytail (her usual look). She also has a really long ribbon at the base of the ponytail, with a golden peach holder on it. The other forms also have separate hair styles, with the blue being very similar, the green and pink also have ponytails, and the pink is more free. Sadly the blonde monkey form has short hair. Overall Momoko does really great here, though I would definitely enjoy if she had it down more to showcase her volume.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Again Momoko has a great color scheme here. Her eyes are a beautiful purple color, though again her eyes change in her various forms. Another problem is that Momoko's eyes are a somewhat generic tarame. Nothing wrong with that as there's still other girls with tsurime eyes, but having such rounded eyes does make Momoko look younger and more childish than she needs to. Nothing bad, though, and I suppose glasses would do a lot to help out.
Grade: B-

Face: Momoko has an amazing face too. She has great puni-like cheeks with a rosy blush. She also has a big, expressive mouth and a small nose. Really, everything looks nice for my tastes, and there's not much to discuss here. I will say that, as a sorta low-budget series, that Momoko does occasionally fall off-model too. She also gets various facial.. paint? Tattoos? Some sort of design on her face when she transforms, though it's not permanent.
Grade: A-

Body
Build: PEACHES ARE BUTTS! Er, I suppose that's more something for the next area, but really. Momoko should show of her “true peach” more often, and by that I mean her butt. She does get a couple of quick moments, but Onihime her brown-skinned rival seems to be more of a butt girl (granted, that's slightly more fair than a lot of other series, but still). Other than that she does have a nice, curvy body. Her arms and legs are also properly proportioned, and in general she looks really nice. She's also somewhat strong, though in most battles she has to merge with one or more animal companions to beat the opponent. Speaking of which, when she merges she gains some properties of the animals (such as a dog/monkey tail or feather-like hair decorations). She may be somewhat tall, but without any sort of measurement or scale it's hard to tell. Another thing I'd want to mention is that, in an early episode, Momoko gets challenged to an eating competition and eats so much her face and body are stretched out. While it's not for long I found it to be interesting that she'd change so much, even her face gets plumped up. That said, it's still a shame that she's introduced with her chest being a “peach".
Grade: B

Breasts: As said before, it's really dumb that her chest is considered her “peach”. I mean, the way they position her shirt does make it look peach-like, but it's a really dumb introduction. Momoko does have a pretty large chest, though considering some of the other girls in the series she might be placed as “average” among them all. That said she's certainly a chest character, showing cleavage and getting clothing destruction all the time. It would be fairly nice for me, though the rest of her body needed to be shown off too of course. And Momoko definitely has a “bounce” problem. She'd jiggle just by WALKING and the first episode has her bounce so much that her breasts nearly become VERTICAL. Sadly I imagine that Momoko being so fanservicy turned a lot of people off the series, which is a big shame as the series needs more attention. Size-wise and not bouncing around like she's trying to make a fruit cocktail Momoko looks pretty good, but she certainly has her annoying situations. I mean other than the dumb “peach” idea too. Apparently in the Blu Ray she also has a minor nipple peek. A majority of the series was nude-free, but for whatever reason there was a screen crop on the broadcast and they sneaked in a nipple when Momoko is losing her top. It's not the best-looking and actually hurt her a bit more than you'd expect. Down with boob peaches!
Grade: B-

Clothes: Momoko's clothes are, well, they're not great. What they are is thematic, though. Her traditional-looking outfits certainly fit with the time period the series is based in, though with a lot more exposure than I'd expect. Momoko usually wears a white top with a peach-based opening to show off her cleavage (still dumb), a pink shoulder-jacket over that, a purple belt with three stones and a smaller, lighter belt over it, and a short red skirt that's unfortunately pleated. She also has unattached white sleeves and white thigh-highs, and seems to wear panties under her skirt. She also has some variety as her outfits change when she absorbs her animal companions. The dog form gives her a purple strap-top of sorts with silly loincloth-like pants (as they hang down in front for some reason), the pheasant gives an even more revealing white sling-top with flowing bottom, and the monkey reminds me of Infernape for obvious reasons with furry joints, breastplate of sorts, and gauntlets. In the beach episode Momoko wears a pink and white bikini, though when the top is lost she has to fight with another girl's top (much like Goldilocks she had to look at one too small, one too large, and one that was “just right”, if slightly tight). Oh and of course she often ends up naked or with torn clothes after battle, though it's usually covered with pink fog. Overall her biggest problem is that her outfits are mamocentric and that definitely needed to change, but the variety does help.
Grade: B

Mind
Personality: Momoko is the genderswap version of the classic “Momotarou” fairy tale. As a result she was born from a peach and raised by her adoptive grandparents. In reality she is a child of celestial and demonic birth, and her sister's reveal was another fairly big surprise for the series. Other than that, there's not much to talk about in her past. Well, I guess there are three animal companions that hang around her (a dog, a monkey, and a pheasant. The latter is female, if wondering). Much like a magical girl Momoko can fuse with them using her “Momokyun Possession” ability. She also keeps a dagger that belongs to her grandfather, which she loses in an episode and has to go retrieve. Otherwise she's tasked with finding shards of a divine peach, going to various locations around Japan to get one.
Momoko is a standard lead character. She's airheaded and is somewhat of a dojikko (especially when it will put her in a perverse position), but she's honorable and has a strong sense of justice. She certainly tries hard and is a bit stubborn, but she's friendly and has good intentions. She's also fairly skilled at combat, even if she often has to combine once an episode. She usually uses a sword, but in other forms she uses different weapons; with the dog she uses a polearm, the monkey gives her a pair of claws, and the pheasant gives her a bow. Overall she's not exactly a complex character, but for the series she's from she certainly works.
Momoko is voiced by Ayana Taketatsu who is a really good VA. She did Momoko really well, at least I think so. Though she does need more attention to her fanservice-lead series like Momo Kyun and SekaTsuyo (also another series she voiced a sorta fruit-named tall girl with long dark hair).
Grade: B

Libido: Sadly Momoko really suffers here. She doesn't seem to really have any interest in love at all. I will say that she chastises her male animal companions and others for being perverse, which would hurt if they weren't actually animals. Probably the closest thing she has here is her rivalry with Onihime, which I do support. Though I would say that Onihime would more likely be the lead in that pair. She also gets fondled by Ringo, the red-haired divine assistant, in the hot springs and returns the favor too. Not that anything would come out of that, but I felt that I should mention it.
Grade: C-

Age: Momoko's age is never mentioned, other than being born in a peach some time ago. She seems to be in her high teens or twenties, but I cannot be sure.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 70
Average score: 7.8
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

*Topaz turns to Momoko who is flustered and covering her face with her hands.*

: I can't believe that you would look at me with such lewd eyes!

: Don't be too embarrassed. He does that to all girls.

: HEATHEN! I will have to pass on my offer. I'm going to defeat you!

But I haven't done anything wrong!

: Nonsense! Menace told me that you were a cruel man and wanting beautiful women to become your harem!

That would be nice, but that's not the intent of this blog.

: Honestly, considering she wants to rebuild her kingdom that sounds like something SHE'd want to do...

: Enough of your lies! I shall defeat you here! Then you shall be judged in the arena!

: Wait, so you're not going to finish him off?

: No, I am but a messenger. I was told to force Topaz to join the Coliseum matches that start next month.

Didn't I just beat Melona there?

: That was separate. But if you won't come easily, I'll be forced to knock you out!

*Momoko slashes at Topaz, cutting his clothes as he narrowly avoids her polearm.*

Alright then! I'll go, I'll go!

: Enough of your tricks! You'll probably try to escape half-way. I'll put an end to your lying devious ways this instant by knocking you out!

If only Momoyo was here I'd have her fight in my place!

: She probably wouldn't be challenged enough. Plus the close names would make the audience confused.

: Who is this "Momoyo" girl?

She's a strong fighter that has "peaches" as her favorite food.

: Wait, do you mean butts again?

No. Though considering it's Momoyo I wouldn't be surprised. She does like Yukie, after all...HEY!

*Topaz narrowly avoids another slash.*

: Be careful, she looks fast!

You think I want to be hit?

: No, I mean because she looks like she'd crit every time!

Those are just first generation rules. Like how X Accuracies are broken. Wait, no. It was like that in GBC too.

*Momoko makes several more strikes. Suddenly Críet bursts through the door.*

: What are you guys doing out here that's making so much noise?!

*She sees Topaz under attack. It looks like he's cornered.*

: Oh no! Topaz!

*Críet slides between Momoko and Topaz, her maid dress getting heavily damaged and showing her sexy tanline body. Though nothing questionable is shown as she still has her bra and thong panties on.*

: Don't get in my way, minion of Onihime!

: O-Onihime? Who's that?

: Don't consider her a demon just because she has pointed ears and dark skin!

Listen to Ririchiyo, she knows demons! She even is one!

: HEY!

: You expect me to believe your words when you work with such forces of evil? And YOU, leave so that I may face and knock Topaz unconscious myself!

: What if he wins?

: I don't see how that can be, but sure. If I get knocked out instead I'll take you all to the Coliseum. There you can fight in the annual battles, as usual.

Oh yeah, forgot that was in June...

: That's good to hear, so take THIIIISSSS!

*Críet swings the cash register-like machine at Momoko, knocking her out.*

Man! That was sure one good COUNTER ATTACK!

: Topaz... Only Spanish people will get that.

Nothing wrong with that, and the internet will help with the rest.

: At least my math skills have come in handy... And speaking of that-

*Críet makes an obscene hand gesture.*

: Topaz, you need to stop making sex jokes...

That wasn't me! Technically, at least.... But for now let's wait until she gets up...

==Time passes and Momoko explains a bit more==

: And that's all I know about Aldra, Menace, and the Coliseum. Are you sure you want to go?

Sadly we didn't hear anything new, so I can edit that out. But I do feel I have to go. If anything this is a huge trap and I need to be there for plot reasons.

: I just hope that nothing dangerous happens.

Don't worry. What's the worst that could happen?

: I don't know, but for some reason I have a bad feeling...

I'm sure it's nothing. Besides, I bet we'll meet great girls there! So check back next week, readers!


Posted by emperortopaz | May 26, 9:03 AM | 0 comments
May 19th, 2016
Anime Relations: Astarotte no Omocha!
This is the Three-hundredth-ninetieth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone! Last week we were visited by the motherly Mercelida.

: Technically I'm still here. It's the same day and all.

: We totally don't film these in advance-er, I mean. Wow that was a long week and stuff!

Exactly! Anyway, after the blog Mercelida was asked by her handmaiden if she could have a blog as well. As I'm a generous person, I agreed to it.

: You totally don't have ulterior motives, right?

Certainly not. Though I do wonder what's keeping her...

: She does like to make an entrance. Maybe she's up to no good.

I can't imagine that being the reason...

*Meanwhile, unknown to Topaz and the others a maid is climbing up a ladder on the side of his house. She even gets on the roof.*

???: Ufufu. Won't Topaz be surprised to see me fall into his arms all romantically. He won't be able to keep himself off me! Though I'll be in charge, of course. W-wait... I'm stuck!

*The maid gets her panties somehow caught on the side of the ladder. She manages to pull them free, but by doing so her panties rip off. This results in the girl losing her balance as well as she stumbles across. She eventually hits the wrong spot and falls through the roof.*

???: SHOOOT!

*She falls through into the room that Topaz and the others are sitting. In fact she falls butt-first onto Topaz's face. All he sees is a flash of white being squished by two meaty buttocks.*

MMMPH!

: TOPAZ!

: I see that's what she was trying to do then.

: Are you alright, Topaz?!

*Topaz struggles under the flabby behind for a bit before becoming limp.*

: Quick! Give him some air! It looks like he's ASS-phyxiated!

: Wait, don't! He's not Zettai!

???: How about if I just get up then?

*The mysterious maid stands, allowing Topaz to cough as he breathes the fresh air.*

???: My apologies! It seems that my plan didn't go as expected!

No worries, I certainly enjoyed it this way too!

: This is no time to be enjoying pandering, Topaz. At least introduce the girl!

Good point.

???: Right, it is getting tiring trying to keep in shadows like this.

Well then, why don't you come out of them, CRIET!

*The mysterious shadowy maid finally reveals herself.*

: Exactly! Though don't think anything perverse about that narration.

: Aww man. I like thinking dirty things!

: We know. So how is your face doing, Topaz?

Quite nicely-or wait, is that an insult?

: N-not at all! (what if he thinks I think he's ugly.. I'd better write a large apology!)

: And how come you don't use accents and stuff either?

Americans are bad at that sort of thing! Also pronunciations.

: But in reality Topaz has no clue how to add them and has to look up the accent on the internet every time. Then he copy-pastes it.

Shhh, don't tell them my secret.

: Regardless, as Mercelida has told you, I would like a blog!

: Oh no! You're going to review the sunburnt goddess!

: Ehhh? What do you mean?

I think she's confusing you with Hestia.

: ... Fair point. But they do look a lot alike.

: Thanks, I'll take looking like a goddess as a compliment.

You should, and getting to the blog itself...

Today's girl is:



Críet Trédís
from
Lotte no Omocha


: At least he put the accent in there. But why did you link Mercelida to the anime and Críet to the manga?

I did experience the anime first, but sadly Críet did not make an appearance in the anime.

: Sadly the anime needs a second season so I can be shown! But it looks like the company's not interested.

: A shame. I'd love to put in more work.

Just make sure that Xebec doesn't do it. They have enough work perhaps ruining Keijo.

: Topaz is an eternal optimist. Sadly Xebec does not seem to have the greatest track record.

: But neither does J-CUP Staff and they did our show well.

True, though the series does get bogged down with breast moments and, for whatever reason, a random trap.

: Naoya isn't random.

: Agreed, he's cute in girl's clothes!

I meant the other one. The one that puts the name "Leo" to shame.

: A-HEM. As much as I'd enjoy standing here and listening to you complain, how about you get started on the blog?

Good plan!

Head
Hair: Críet's hair is one of her best features. It's long, going past her hips but fortunately avoids cover her butt at times. Her hair being up in twintails usually helps, especially since hers are on her sides, and even when it's down and looks gorgeous we still see her butt. It also looks silky and smooth when down, though as she was taking a bath at the time it may have just been wet. Her hair is also black, which is my favorite hair color and it plays off her dark skin even better than normal. She also seems to have two short antenna pointing upward, though they aren't noticeable overall and is something I just recently noticed. Críet's only “weakness” would be her bangs; while being somewhat close to a hime her hair has a bit too much space between the bangs in a zig-zag-like way. I'm probably poorly describing her bangs, but overall they look great still and her sides are likewise really great by reaching her cheeks. Críet also often wears a maid headdress and occasionally wears ribbons at the base of her twintails. Overall she does really wonderful here, definitely a high-scorer.
Grade: A

Eyes: Sadly Críet does not wear glasses, even for a short time like Mercelida did. And her shape, while having a slight inward incline, is not as great as the succubus queen's either. Críet's eyes are also a bit bigger, fitting her younger age I imagine. What really helps Críet is COLOR. Specifically because she has the best color for me in purple and looks really great. That said sadly she's not in the anime so the most we see of her with this color is when she's a chibi on the back cover of one of the books. A shame, really.
Grade: B

Face: Críet has a very soft-looking face. It's slightly puni, fitting the other younger characters in the series with soft-looking cheeks. Críet's cheeks also have a bit of rosiness to them as well. Oh, and as she's the series's “Dark elf” equivalent she has pointed ears, though to be fair almost every character has them. Her small features and dot nose certainly appeal to me too. Overall she's very cute and has a lot of nice moments, but it's sadly not enough to boost her up or make her too memorable (if only she was in the anime...).
Grade: B+

: I'm doing well so far!

I agree, if only you wore glasses like Mercelida you'd be doing much better.

: Though only a small amount better...

: Well then, let's see what I have here.

*She brings out a big box and throws glasses all over.*

: Glasses for everyone!

*The girls get glasses conveniently landing on their faces correctly, looking even more beautiful than ever. Topaz even has on his face, though he has at least three extra pairs on his head.*

I may like glasses, but this is silly!

*He takes off the superfluous glasses and returns them to Mercelida.*

: This reminds me of all the moments Zettai has where he caters to you. You really need to be a better friend for him!

I do...

: Don't worry. I'll be sure to visit him in a “dream” later on...

I'm sure he'll love that, though he'd like it even more if you described it further.

: Well, it would involve me and all his favorite mothers all caring for his every need. Rinko, Meme, Akiko, Cattleya, Rosa, Iris... The list goes on. Of course he'll have to cater to our every sexual whims. Which of course means dominating him with our big mature butts.

: I'm sorry I asked...

Don't be sorry, I'm sure he'll love it!

: Of course, such amazing dreams will require a lot of mana on my part. I sure hope that he's up to “satisfying” me enough to “recharge” after he wakes up.

: With all those gassy foods you'll eat on the way there I'm sure that he'll sploot it out in no time!

: Don't be ridiculous. I'll force him to endure for a while being my seat. THEN I'll have anal intercourse and, after he's satisfied me, I'll let him release.

: Something tells me that we should have censored that.

Don't worry, hopefully no kids happen on this blog!

: Good point-WAIT, stop getting distracted Topaz. You have a blog to finish!

You're right!



Body
Build: Like Mercelida before her Críet also has measurements. She's 154 cm and 41 kg, meaning she's still somewhat teen-sized. What isn't teen-sized though seems to be her three sizes, which are 85-57-84. So in other words she's what's considered an “oppai loli”. Fortunately for Críet she's not as mamocentric as another JC Staff girl that's also a look alike (though who knows how they would have treated Críet...). Fortunately she does seem to show her butt quite a bit to balance things out. From wearing thongs to the off-roof landing where she falls butt-first onto Naoya she has a significant amount of butt scenes. That said her older sister Helga shows off her butt more anyway.
Of course the main reason I like Críet is for her skin. Wait, allow me to rephrase that. Críet has some of the most unique skin I've seen, and that makes her memorable. Er, what I'm getting at is that Críet is actually a mixed-race character. As she is only mostly “Dark elf” her skin as a whole is brown, but as she's mixed race her skin is much more mottled in certain areas. Críet herself has probably the best type of mottled as, conveniently, she has a permanent swimsuit-style tan. She's embarrassed by this, but much like Naoya I find her to be beautiful. Overall her height is the main problem I'd say; not that there's anything wrong with short girls but I prefer taller ones like Kan'u Uchou (another great dark-skinned girl).
Grade: A-

Breasts: As said before, Críet has a bust size of 85 cm. She also has an E-cup, meaning she's quite sizable. With the exception of Effie the literal cow she probably has the biggest chest in Lotte's mansion too. She's also shown off quite a bit, being proud of her large chest and even attempting to seduce Naoya with her breasts. Her chest is also pale, as said before she has a swimsuit tan and that includes her chest. For a bit of off-screen service she also has a bust-sumo match with Effie as well (though it was one sided. Probably would have been fairer had they used butts, but sadly the series didn't think of that). We also do not see Críet's nipples, though there isn't many moments where they would have been shown anyway. Overall she has a great chest, with her main weakness being that it tends to dominate her service at times.
Grade: A

Clothes: Críet has quite a few nice outfits. We first see her in a school uniform-like outfit, including pantyhose though it should be said that it's not as easy to tell with her dark skin. It resembles a sailor uniform as well, with the collar and ribbon as well as a shirt with a turtleneck. Then, for her job she dons a well-covering maid uniform, complete with apron and long sleeves. Sorry if I can't define the color of her outfits, she's manga-only but sorry for adding that so much too. Under it she seems to wear string panties, which she gives to the often-nopan Asuha. Then she wears a customized one after Naoya tells Críet her skin is beautiful, a definite downgrade as she shows off way too much cleavage and seems to be lacking straps of any kind. I'd rather have the first version back, even if I like her being proud of her tanline. Other outfits she gets put in include thong underwear, a well-supported bikini for the aforementioned bust sumo, a nurse's outfit with hat and necktie, and a leotard that is part of a catgirl outfit. Probably the biggest problem is that, much like the other girls in the series, Críet seems to have a problem with showing her chest off most often. To be fair she has an understandable reason, she knows that Naoya likes big breasts and is actively trying to wedge herself between him and Lotte (it obviously doesn't work). A flimsy reason sure, but at least it's better than the often-used reason of big breasts meaning more fanservice. But chest focus aside she does have a lot of nice outfits.
Grade: B+

: Sadly as proud as I am Mercelida still has a shapelier body.

: Ara ara. I am older than you after all.

Almost twice as old!

*Mercelida glares at Topaz.*

Er, I mean....

: Don't worry, I was just being playful.

Well, anyway you have to remember that sizes aren't the only thing I judge on.

: Right. Though sometimes it sure seems that way *coughboobscough*.

I suppose there is that, but I also aren't as judgmental on measurements as people probably just pick numbers at random. There's also proportion as well. For example, Críet has hips that are 11 cm smaller than Mercelida's, but she's also 21 cm shorter too so her butt might look bigger. We can't rely just on numbers, and that's not even counting series that lack measurements.

: Get off your soapbox, Topaz.

Oh, I'm not saying that we should ignore them either. Especially the problems with unfairness between breasts and butts. I guess it's just a case-by-case situation.

: You're right, Topaz! I knew that I could count on you! How about a reward?

Oh? What would you do?

: Well, I could show you why they call me a “handmaiden”, ufufu.

: That sounds like something we shouldn't show...

I'm sure it's just a simple massage, like she gave Naoya.

: Even so, you've got a blog to finish!

Good point! Let's finish up!



Mind
Personality: As mentioned before, Críet is a secondary character that comes late and ends up not being in the anime as a result. She's introduced as King Sveinn's illegitimate child that was away during the first part of the series (the King being the king of the “Nótt Álfur”, the resident “dark elf” group). She returned as her mother died and they had been living independently from the royal family. As Críet didn't want to live on hand-outs she came back to seek work. Not only that, but Críet became scared of showing her body as their small family had to stay on the run. Seeing her brother Sigurð and sister Helga hopelessly in love when she returned lead her to want to investigate Lotte's relationship. As a result Críet got a job working at her mansion to spy. That said, the plot was only a few chapters long before Críet started to fall for Naoya herself, especially after he complimented her skin. She hung awhile for the rest of the series, but sadly she really doesn't get closure on this. I mean, it was found out but Judit, a meganekko in Lotte's service, thought that the rivalry might be useful. That's really the biggest problem with Críet as she ends up just working for Lotte in the ending, I mean I wasn't expecting much but at least have her meet with her siblings again.
Críet is embarrassed of her body due to culture reasons, though luckily that part of her grew and she's much more confident at the end of her arc. Críet herself is pretty perky but not in the annoying excitable way either. She's very optimistic and not afraid to show off or tease others. Overall she's a fairly strong secondary character with more background and personality than just being fanservice (unlike a certain dairy fairy or trap). Oh, and her name is often shortened to “Críe”, forgot to mention that in Mercelida/Merce's blog. Another thing are the random vital statistics and skills, with Críet's most random one being that she has a level in ACCOUNTING of all things (Maid level 2 and Housekeeping level 2 make more sense).
Grade: B-

Libido: As said before Críet enjoys teasing others, even if told to do so by Judit. It's not to the point of wanting to establish a romantic link with Naoya, but rather to split the couple up so that her siblings can pick up the pieces. NTR is bad though, so it's a good thing that she doesn't succeed. That said I do like how she does research into Naoya's fetishes and as a result teases him with her chest a lot. She also facesits him while giving him a massage (I think, it's hard to tell) and I like the silly way she mentioned that she'll make him “sploot” it out when he's sick xD. Naoya might be older than Críet as well, but he seems shota enough that it still seems sexy. Speaking of shotas though, it's a shame that they stuck the trap Leofin (who is 13, if curious) with one of Lotte's friends rather than Críet. Well, it's sort of rude to shove a trap in to try and fit in with what's popular at that time, but still. After all, it would have been a perfect relationship; I get my favorite with a trap and they'd go away, and he'd be happy as he'd marry into “royalty”. He even seems fascinated with Críet in her maid outfit at one time! Though sadly this also lead Críet to to dress HIM in girl's clothes as he was more admiring the outfit, and that ended up being a slippery slope that the series really didn't know what to do with. Sadly as said he doesn't seem interested, and even Naoya isn't too interested despite blushing after looking at her chest at times. It all makes Críet start thinking that the problem is with her, which is a shame as she's a beautiful and seductive girl! Though it is a shame that she was worried she'd be “attacked” by Naoya as the opposite would be much better.
Grade: A-

Age: Sadly Críet is somewhat young. She's fifteen, which makes her body not seem as appealing. Nothing wrong with it, but do note that her body always seems more mature. That said it's still better than Mist, one of Lotte's friends, who has about the same measurements even though she's only ten.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 80
Average score: 8.9
Final Grade: B+

: That's it? Mercelida got a much higher score!

That happens some times.

: She even got a picture, so what gives? I thought that I was your favorite from the series!

You are, but sometimes the blog and my personal opinions don't match up.

: If it helps, you tied with Mercelida when Topaz first started his rough draft. Sadly not appearing much in the last few books really hampered your score.

Exactly. I would have liked some sort of resolution with your backstory or something.

: Don't worry. I'm sure that Topaz will think highly of you after you “perform” for him. Ufufu...

: I just want to say I'm against such things.

: You can't keep a cutie like Topaz-bou all to yourself, Ririchiyo.

...”-bou”?

: Er, slip of the tongue I'm sure. Anyway, prepare for a the best massage of your life.

: While you're doing that I'll head to Spain. I have some “business” to attend to...

I “hope” Zettai enjoys your “fun”. Mothers are awesome after all.

: I'm sure he will, though maybe I'll have that dominant assistant of his teach me his more sensitive spots...

*Mercelida flies off, making sure to show off her C-string wearing butt aplenty.*

: Don't worry, I'll wait until the end of the blog. Then I'll work out my “frustrations” on you, heh heh heh.

Sounds like a good time to me, but first before ending this blog I need a hint about next week's girl.

: Well, you don't NEED one but it does give fans something to look forward to. So what is it?

Let's just say that I might be feeling “fruity” sometime next week.

: Topaz, that's the first blog of April. It's like the end of May already. Or have you forgotten Nagisa this quickly?

Not that kind of “fruity”.

: Either way, I hope to return. After all, once I'm done Topaz shouldn't forget about me <3.

*The scene fades out as the blog ends.*
Posted by emperortopaz | May 19, 8:13 AM | 0 comments
May 12th, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-nineth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. Last week we looked at a dancing girl, but now we're back home!

: Thank goodness! It was a busy time last month, so even with the concert I'm exhausted!

Luckily we're having the mother come visit us, and she's even coming over from another world!

: But we've already done a mature space alien girl! Though in all fairness she wasn't a mother...

True for Mizuho, but don't forget we've also done Tearju.

: Oh yeah.

So do you remember the hint I gave last week, Riri?

: About that...

*Ririchiyo whispers in Topaz's ear.*

O-oh.. Well then, let's see this mother that Zettai did last *cough*December*, Mercelida Ygvar!

*A beautiful curvy succubus enters, the camera focusing on her curves including butt.*

: Oh my, how naughty!

: I told you to get that perverted camera fixed!

I see no problems. Now, come over here and talk about things.

: Are you sure that the only thing you want to do is "talk"?

Ahh-er, um...

: TOPAZ!

Y-yes, that is all that I should do.

: Are you su-re~? I mean your friend got a facesitting and mo~ore <3.

The former sounds great, Zettai can keep the latter. No offense to him, of course.

: I'd rather not see either.

You're just saying that because you want to be the only one to sit on me.

: N-nonsense!

*Ririchiyo blushes and averts her eyes.*

: How cute. Don't worry, I'm sure there would be plenty of room.

I wouldn't be so sure, your butt is pretty big.

: That's both "pretty" and "big", of course. But I suppose that I can tease you in ways your friend wouldn't enjoy too...

*Mercelida holds Topaz's chin and looks into his eyes. She's so close he flusters as she might kiss him.*

Uh... uh...

*Topaz likewise averts his eyes, but Mercelida frees him.*

: You're going to be a fun pair to tease, ufufu.

: This is your fault, Topaz!

Maybe, but I didn't realize that I'd be so weak towards mothers.

: So you DO remember a certain archer's blog. She did tell me to let you eat all the "melons" and "peaches" you want, even if it would have to be off screen.

Riri! Can I?

*The loli lets out a sigh.*

: I suppose so. You've been a good boy for a while so I'll give you permission. Of course you cannot feed her "there" though.

*She wags her finger to emphasize her point.*

: And of course, you have to do the blog first.

Yippee!

: Ufufu, how pure.

I'm pure in some ways, but I still enjoy sexual things. As an example...

Today's girl is:



Mercelida Ygvar
from
Lotte no Omocha


: Somehow I'm not surprised that you managed to find an image with Mercelida in glasses...

No glasses girls escape my Keen Eye! Also my accuracy can't be lowered but that's not important.

: Liar!

Alright, so I don't actually have that ability. Good thing too as it sucks. I really used the image because there's so few official images of Mercelida floating around. Though I can't say that it's completely independent of her glasses. But now that that's clear, let's begin!

Head
Hair: Mercelida has pretty great hair. The length certainly looks great, reaching past her hips but fortunately (as far as I can remember) it doesn't block her butt. It's also a bit wavy, though she sometimes keeps it up in a bob for a more elegant style. She also sometimes has it up in a ponytail, and in flashbacks she often has twintails (both with short hair and without). Her bangs aren't that impressive, being somewhat generic with a long middle bang though the sides are also long. Speaking of long sides, Mercelida also has long sides on the side of her head that reach past her shoulders. She also has two long antenna. Of course, we can't forget that Mercelida is blonde, but that's a bit bad as I do prefer darker colors. Nothing wrong with blondes but it isn't too notable for me.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Mercelida has pretty eyes that have a lovely, seductive tsurime shape. It's a strong tsurime too, going inward with a thick upper eyelash. Her eyes are also a greenish color that looks nice, and while the pupil is a little unusual it's not too noticeable. While her eyebrows aren't especially thick, they are noticeable as well though that's fine for me. Overall her eyes are pretty, and the fact that she wears glasses while sneaking into the school also helps. Sadly I don't think she wears them at any other point, but they are a nice thick-framed pair of red glasses and I appreciate these sort of moments. Just wish that Mercelida would have worn glasses more.
Grade: B+

Face: Mercelida also has a fairly nice face. She is a bit more mature than most girls I talk about, but that's completely understandable. It's not a bad thing either, though she does have a large nose at times which I'm not fond of. Also, since I forgot to mention them Mercelida, being a succubus, has pointed ears. That said, in the series that's not too surprising as almost every character has them, though I'm not saying it's a bad thing either. She also has soft, shiny, and supple-looking cheeks that look amazing. Er, on her face, of course. Finally, she also seems to wear make-up, or at least lipstick as her lips are visible.
Grade: B

: Ufufu, you are really different from the other one who blogged about me.

Well, Zettai and I look at distinctly different things. Like me and my glasses fetish.

: So, for example...

*Mercelida puts on a pair of glasses.*

: I were to put THESE on...

VA VA VA VOOM!

: Settle down, pervert! You've still got plenty of blog to do!

But look at how gorgeous she is!

*She sparkles with beauty.*

: Oh ho ho, well I AM a queen. And a succubus.

: Title drop? Not quite, sad to say. Wait, I shouldn't make meta jokes like that.

: Seems Topaz really likes me in glasses. How about I sit on your lap while you finish?

I don't think that Riri will appreciate that...

: Grrr... Stop moving on him, you floozy! (wait, do people still use “floozy”? Curses, I'm beginning to second guess myself.)

: A shame...

I agree, though in all fairness it would probably distract me...

: Oh? You don't want to. be. Distracted?

*Mercelida winks while adjusting her glasses.*

...Uh, were you saying something?

: Ufufufu, you pure boys are so much fun to toy with. But since you want to finish, I'll remove them for now.

*Mercelida sadly removes her glasses.*

: There. Hope you won't be as distracted.

Huh? Where was I? It's like I was in a dream for the last few moments.

: Don't be ridiculous Topaz. Just having a mature mother in glasses isn't anything that special. I mean Cattleya does it all the time.

Cattleya...

*Topaz spaces out again, only to be hit painlessly in the back of his head by Ririchiyo.*

: Stop dazing off and get back to the blog!

: Ufufu, you two are so comedic together.

Body
Build: Mercelida is a succubus with a very curvy body, so it should be obvious that her score is good here. And we actually have measurements too! Mercelida is 175 cm tall, which is nice for me as Naoya (the male lead) is only 170 cm, and she weighs 65 kg. This makes her one of the heaviest anime girls I know of, though there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Her three sizes are 103/62/95, and there's a major problem already. No, not the wide waist. I like plump girls so that's completely fine. No, it's that her bust and hips are 8 cm apart, and that's far beyond my personal rule of 5 cm. Granted, Mercelida is not the poorest example and that's even in-series, and she still gets a fair share of butt service. In fact, 95 cm is pretty high all things considered, and her plump butt looks amazing. Not only that but her legs and body looks great in general. She's just an extremely attractive woman. Which I guess makes sense considering she's a succubus, complete with tail and bat-like wings (no horns, and sometimes she keeps the wings kept in and they look like tattoos). Oh, and I should mention that she's the mother of at least two girls, but likely only those two. Not sure why she suddenly had two kids and then stopped for at least ten years.
Grade: B+

: Raising heirs is hard work. Releasing “airs” is not, ufufufu...

Breasts: As said before Mercelida has a large chest size. Her bust is 103 cm and she's an H-cup apparently. That said, it's still not the largest example in the series but at least Mercelida isn't oversized like the cow girls. She actually looks fitting, and while she doesn't show nipples this is only because she wears pasties. Overall she looks great, and even with a bit of motherly sag she does excellent here for me.
Grade: A

Clothes: Mercelida wears a lot of sexy outfits, with the one she's most known for being her blue leotard with cleavage and navel windows, and on bottom she wears pantyhose. It's kind of a shame her outfits focus so much on her cleavage. I get that she's proud of her libido, but for a “lolicom” series Lotte seems to be preoccupied with breasts far too much. Oh, and I should add that she also wears long sleeves, though they aren't connected to the leotard. She also wears a similar outfit later on, though with a c-string and bra strap. She also wears a blue bikini in the beach episode, showing off her supported chest and thong back well. She also has a frilly royal dress, though it still shows cleavage. Other outfits include a lot of lewd outfits as a child (seriously, one has an exposed chest with pasties), a great suit when impersonating a teacher (though sadly lacking a necktie), a bathrobe, and in the past she borrows a sweater with necktie. She also wears a fairly heavy wedding dress in the finale. Overall she does quite well, appealing to a lot of my tastes but sadly her cleavage focus does hurt her a bit.
Grade: B+

: You ARE quite different from your friend. I mean, I could tell when you talked about my face, but those scores are far higher...

: You'll have to understand. Topaz is still a recovering boobaholic. As a result he still thinks with the wrong brain sometimes.

I am a terrible person occasionally, but at least I have empathy!

: That's kind of you, but it explains why you were poorly refusing my attempts. You'd prefer something el~se <3.

Yes, but likewise I have to refuse. At least on camera.

: Don't worry, I understand. Though I'm surprised you complain about my outfits showing off my chest. I'd think that it would cause you to be excited, ufufu...

That doesn't mean I can't complain. It is still annoying how often girls aren't well supported.

: Yes, but I can do your favorite <3.

Y-you know about pa-pa-

: Of course! You think I wouldn't know about that sort of thing? I also know about the other names of “boobjob” and “ti-”

*Topaz puts up his hands.*

Hey hey hey. No need to use that sort of language here.

: Besides, you may be a mother and have a sorta-similar outfit, but I've seen enough from that one Granblue girl recently.

She has gotten quite popular... *ahem* Anyway, let's get back to the blog.

: Wait. Since you're here how about you show me the sort of girl's outfit I should wear?

More glasses! More suits! More pantyhose! More glasses!

*Mercelida writes on a notepad.*

: Uh huh uh huh.

Also for my friend more thongs and C-strings! Though not with pantyhose. Well, maybe the C-strings, but I'm sure you understand. Have I mentioned more glasses?

: And not as much forced cleavage either! Change the school uniforms to blazers! With buruma! (wait, I shouldn't be caught up in such a stupid conversation.)

I approve of those changes.

: I see. And do you have any sort of fabric that I can use?

Riri, show her your thong.

*Riri whacks Topaz again.*

: I'm not even wearing a thong today!

Going commando then?

*He is hit again.*

: NO! And I'm not telling you what sort of panties I have on either!

*Mercelida is lifting Ririchiyo's skirt in the back.*

: Looks like it's striped this time. Here I was expecting something oddly sexy to tease your boyfriend with, ufufu.

*Riri turns around and shoos Mercelida back to her seat, pulling her skirt back down.*

: Stop pestering us and allow Topaz to do your blog!

: Fine fine, ufufu.

Ah-HA!

*Topaz pulls something out of his pants.*

: Please rephrase that description immediately, narrator.

*Fine, Topaz removes an item out of his inventory.*

: What an odd place for an inventory. To bad you found what you were looking for. I'm sure I'd enjoy searching, ufufu...

*Riri shoots the succubus a glare.*

Anyway, here it is!

*Topaz holds up Tsugumi's ribbon.*

: I suppose that counts as a piece of cloth...

: That's perfect!

*She takes the ribbon.*

: I can't wait to turn this into my next outfit!

: Don't you mean an inspiration for your next outfit? Or an accessory?

: No, ufufu...

Glad you like it.

: Now... How about a reward?

*Mercelida closes in on Topaz again.*

Er....

: We take material goods and not services though.

Hey, when was that decided?

: Just now, because I don't want to see you taken advantage of.

But it's not like I'll trade a Chocobo Egg for a Magic Gourd!

: Nice classic game reference. But we'll gladly trade you something for that ribbon, Mercelida.

: Hmmm. I'll have to check with my handmaiden. She's waiting outside.

Handmaiden? Why?

: Well, I don't want to be stuck here on Earth. Again.

Fair point. See you soon then.

*Mercelida leaves, floating through the door. After opening it, of course. She soon returns carrying a photograph of some sort.*

: Well, this is all we have that we can give away. Don't worry as it seems that we have more copies at our castle.

*She hands it to Topaz. It seems to be her two daughters playing in a pool while wearing school swimsuits.*

Oh my, what cute lolis! I imagine that this could be very important to someone!

: Right! Like Zettai.

I imagine he'd prefer a picture of Mercelida bending over, showing her big butt. Bonus points if she's ripping one.

: Why would I rip up a picture of-OH! I understand, tee hee.

: Anyway, pictures aside how about we get back to the blog.

Sure thing. We're in the home stretch now!

*Topaz slips the photograph into his inventory.*

Mind
Personality: Mercelida is the third daughter of a royal family. Sadly her sisters, in their attempts to claim the throne for themselves, killed each other so Mercelida was made into the queen of her country. She might have a sexual mind and be somewhat lazy, but at least she's not an evil queen either as she genuinely does care for her people. Of course this includes supporting her two daughters Lotte and Asuha as well as Asuha's father/baby daddy Naoya. She's a really great mother even if she can't be with her children all the time. She might be carefree but as said she appreciates her family, even visiting and dropping off a gift for Asuha's birthday even if she had to do it stealthfully. She also used Naoya's, er, “seed” to return home one time when she was stuck in our world, which lead to him being an absurdly young father at 13.
Mercelida is voiced by Yuuko Minaguchi. She does a lot of great milf voices, though oddly I think her voice fit Mercelida better in the OVA where she's eighteen. That's just my personal opinion though. Overall Mercelida doesn't have anything too strong, but she's still a very great girl with a lot of great traits.
Grade: B

Libido: Of course Mercelida scores well here. She's a succubus with an amazingly large harem of “feeders”, but in all fairness I prefer a more “exclusive” romance (though in all fairness she does need “fluids” to survive, being a succubus and all). That said I'm fine with Mercelida taking pride in being sexualized by her soldiers. In fact, in the manga when the rebellion hit she was able to calm both sides by showing off her sexy body after they proclaimed their love and “use” of her figure. Mercelida does seem to have a favorite haremette/servant named Ursula. Yes that's a girl's name, but she's a futa anyway. Of course, the main appeal for me here is that Mercelida is a mother and specifically she seems to still have feelings for Naoya. Her daughter Lotte does marry him, but it seems that Mercelida will still stick around him.
Grade: A

Age: Mercelida does amazingly well here. She's 29, which while slightly out of my range isn't too far. Not only that but she's much older than her sorta-love interest Naoya, who is 23. Yes, that means that as an (approximate) eighteen-year old Mercelida seduced a then-thirteen Naoya into bed. Canon shotacom is great! I'll also add that we see her quite a bit in flashbacks, and within Mercelida's tenth and eleventh she seems to have had quite the, well, “explosive puberty” to say the least...
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 87
Average score: 9.7
Final Grade: A-

And that's the blog for this week!

: Oh man! Another high-scoring girl!

: Indeed, it's over 15 points higher than your friend gave me!

As said we do look at different things. Your high age certainly helped me while it was Zettai's lowest scoring area.

: Not to mention she has certain *ahem* PARTS, which seem to appeal to you more...

Regardless, Mercelida is another girl that gets a special image this year:



: Sad that you had to use fan art...

It is unfortunate that Mercelida does not have more official art. And I didn't want to have her naked and laying with a shota.

: Why not, ufufu? You seem to like that sort of thing.

I try not to have nudity.

: What a pure boy. But, since the blog is over I should get going. Hope to see you again!

*Mercelida waves and takes off again.*

Well, that's that.

: I'm surprised you let her leave so easily. She promised “fun” for you.

That's alright. I still have you.

: I-Idiot! Don't forget to give a hint about who you're doing next time.

I have no clue.

*Suddenly, Mercelida returns.*

: Big news everyone! Wait, the cameras are still here? A shame.

: How come you're back already? Forget the ribbon?

: No. I still have that. But I spoke with my handmaiden and it seems that she wants to be blogged next week as well.

: Great. Another cow.

: I take slight offense, but no matter. This isn't a cow. What would I do with a wetnurse anyway?

: To be sure I can't imagine you'd need one in the first place.

: Ufufu, a queen shouldn't have to do something like that. But no, this is a maid and not Elfleda anyway.

Wait, why isn't she coming up to ask for one herself.

: To put it gently she's a bit afraid to come in. After all, she doesn't have a voice for herself...

I think I understand what you're saying, and it seems we have a dark-skinned maid next time!
Posted by emperortopaz | May 12, 8:11 AM | 0 comments
May 5th, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Applause is heard as Topaz and Riri are sitting in an audience.*

Welcome back everyone! We just saw a performance, but as they didn't allow photography I had to wait until now to begin the blog.

: Sure, let's go with that. And not that you were lazy and didn't want to look up dancing videos.

That too, but more that I don't want the problem of having to make sure videos are up-to-date. Youtube is really picky about that type of thing.

: That's fair. Who knows how many dead links we have to various videos.

Hopefully none of the Pretty Cure girls have that problem. It's a good tradition to show their transformations and attacks.

: True. But speaking of blogs we really should get going.

Agreed!

: Wait, how are we going to see a famous idol like this? Don't tell me we're going to invade the sewers to sneak into her room!

Of course! If we could get in the sewers THAT easily we wouldn't need to get her autograph on a banana peel!

: This is no time to be quoting old SNES games!

Alright, but that means I can't mention this Backstage Pass!

: Where did you get that?

It was part of the tickets we were given, so let's go visit this week's girl!

*The two travel backstage.*

And we're here!

: Thank goodness for transitions.

: Hey, wait. Who are you and what are you doing back here?

I'm Emperortopaz, Topaz for short, and this is Ririchiyo, Riri for short.

: Hello.

: Well I'm Rin, and I don't have a shorter name!

You sure that Rin isn't short for "Oshirin"?

: I don't think parent would name their kid that. They'd know their child would be the butt of every joke.

: So should I call security or...

We're not suspicious!

: Don't say that! That's exactly what a suspicious person would say!

Then we are suspicious!

*Riri facepalms.*

: You can't say THAT either!

: Are you two a comedy duo? That show is another night.

We're here because we have backstage passes.

*Topaz flashes the SS Ticket, I mean Backstage Pass.*

: Ah, you're the ones who defeated the slime girl!

: Among many other people, but sure as that's what we were rewarded for anyway.

: Now I recognize you! You did a blog on Sumire!

Also Juri!

: And Aoi, and Yurika-wait, if the girls from this series don't usually do well why do you keep doing them?

Because a show like this is worth appreciating in blog-form. Besides, I can't expect kids shows to be showing ecchi situations.

: Right, because that's what other anime is ruined by!

Exactly! Wait, no. Only some of them.

: That's fair-Wait, didn't Bulma flash Muten Roshi her, well, "front" and show her bare butt to the audience fairly early on?

Dragon Ball is special, especially the first series.

: This is all so confusing...

: Topaz! We're confusing the blog girl! Get to business!

Alright then. Anyway, I'm here to ask for a blog.

: Well, since you did such a good job with Juri and Sumire's blogs I guess you could do mine as well.

Excellent!

: That was easier than I expected!

Are you complaining that we didn't get attacked?

: I suppose that is a good point...

Anyway, let's waltz into the blog as...

Today's girl is:



Rin Kurosawa
from
Aikatsu!


: That was a really forced joke, Topaz. (Don't scold Topaz for bad jokes! Y-you just want him to pay attention to you-NO! Bad Ririchiyo!)

But bad jokes are my forte!

: That's another idol-based joke! And I'm pretty sure I heard a drum roll after it...

Head
Hair: Rin has surprisingly nice hair. Well, the length is good by my standards as it reaches a bit past her shoulders. The back is also fairly cool, with a wavy and layered look. What's surprising is that she has a fairly wide gap in her bangs, looking sort of like Iori from Idolm@ster with the same windswept look. It looks really regal and stylized, and the tip at the bottom of her bangs seems to be dyed a red which gives her a lot of unique style. Very few girls in anime seem to have streaks, and while I don't mind Rin's hair looks really nice with it. The rest of her hair is a nice platinum color too; I usually like darker hair, but whites and silvers look good too. Rin also wears a blue hairband most of the time as well, with a knot on the left side of her head. Overall while not normally something I'd be into I do appreciate how much Rin stands out from my usual tastes. Even at her first introduction I thought her hair was cool, and she quickly became one of my favorites from the second generation (though there was no topping Sumire still). There are also a few alternate hairstyles Rin has had. For example she has worn a ball cap at times, though she wears it sideways because she's from the streets, yo. There are also some occasions where she puts her hair up in a ponytail as well, such as the summer festival episode.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Rin also has fairly nice eyes. They're a nice tsurime shape, leaning inward though she does have a curve still. She also has somewhat sharp corner of her eye too, though I mean that as a good thing. Her eyelashes show but they're not too noticeable in the show itself. What is noticeable are her large eyebrows, though again those are more often a source of moe than anything else. I'm not too big on golden eyes with non-KDEG girls, but for Rin they really work well with her hair and are fairly pretty. It might help that they have a gradient with orange or brown in them too. Like quite a few girls in this series Rin is awesome and wears glasses when out in public! They have thick frames too, though only they do only have the underframe portion. That said they make her look better and smarter too, no offense meant of course. Sadly near the end she starts getting recognized even in glasses, so I hope she would continue wearing them anyway.
Grade: B+

Face: Rin has a great face, I think it's a really nice artstyle as all the girls are cute. That said her face is mostly similar to the other girls, not that I mind as the small features such as her nose are things I enjoy. She also seems to have fairly soft cheeks, adding a bit of shape to her face. I suppose that she does show her forehead a lot, but that's more something for “hair” and a feature I don't mind in Rin's case. Speaking of hair though I did forget to mention that her left ear shows due to her hair being pulled back on that side. It doesn't look bad but did need to be added. Of course we can't forget Rin being cute either. During her introduction episode she gets so flustered that her entire face turns bright red, and her face steams up as well. It was adorable, and shows how even the cool Rin can get embarrassed when complimented.
Grade: A-



Body
Build: Sadly this is where most Aikatsu/Precure girls tend to suffer. Rin isn't too much different from the other Aikatsu girls, having a fairly standard teenage body without much curve at all. She does have somewhat thick thighs, but otherwise she's fairly slender and unimpressive for my tastes. She also shows her navel during the beach episode, but sadly we don't get a shot of her from behind. I will say that her robotic-like dance does look really cool, and in general she loves dancing so she must be in shape well.
Grade: C

Breasts: Like most Aikatsu girls she doesn't do too well here either. Rin is slender here as well, though I am impressed she wears such a tight top during the beach episode.
Grade: D

Clothes: Rin is usually seen in the Starlight Academy uniform, though she has a lot more outfits. As said before (and copy/pasted): The Starlight Academy school uniform, consists of a dark blue top coat with a white shirt inside, a red ribbon around the collar with a gold button, and a white skirt with a dark blue line and two buckles. On the shirt are four gold buttons, with the top and bottom two connected by a chain. I may have forgotten to mention, but there's a summer uniform that consists of a white sailor shirt with fluffy shoulders, a red ribbon and gold buckle around the neck, and a blue skirt. Rin seems to enjoy practicing in a track suit, and in general seems to wear a lot of pants so that's a good thing. She's even counted as a “track suit alien” in one of the drama special-episodes. As far as her brand she wears outfits from Dance Fusion. There's a lot of great outfits, I like the dark colors (especially blues), and in general I like the slightly futuristic designs (though not as futuristic as Futuring Girl). She also wears a cool headset with one dress set which has a variety of colors that change through the performance.
Rin has a lot of cool casual outfits too. She has a particularly nice “street” outfit that consists of a green shirt with neck though lacking sleeves, black shorts, backpack, and white boots with heels (even if I'm not too fond of heels). She also wears a white and green kimono during the summer festival. Rin also has a shirt with a picture of a record which she wears off-center, exposing her shoulder. With that she wears pants with a line on them, and the shirt with Rin's hairband really makes me think she has a lot of inspiration from the 80's-90's culture. She also has a nice casual outfit which includes a green shawl with yellow collar, white shirt under that with a red collar and plaid cuffs, a matching plaid necktie, red skirt with black belt, and tall boots (though not knee-tall). There's also the beach episode where she wears a bikini. The bottoms are perfect, being tight and reminding me of blue buruma even if they're tied on the sides of her hips. Wish she would have shown off a bit more, though. The top I'm not as fond of; it's a tube top that is the same color as her bottom, though it has a big frill on the bottom. I suppose that they wanted to make it a bit more feminine, but that seems like it would get in the way. That said it Rin is the only one without a strapless top, but unfortunately I do prefer straps. Overall, even if her bikini isn't the best Rin still has a lot of great outfits and looks great in all of them.
Grade: B+

*Ririchiyo sighs.*

What's the matter now?

: I still can't believe that you still can't appreciate the beauty of a middle school girl. N-not that I care, I don't need your approval to call me beautiful. But for her sake.

In all fairness I probably would have judged better if she had shown her body off more. Like with Yurika getting that nice buttshot!

*Rin is bright red, with her hands on her cheeks.*

: J-just thinking about it makes me...

: Stop that Topaz! You're going to make the innocent idol overheat!

Hey, I wasn't the one who brought it up! Though I do admit that the standards could use some work. But I imagine that wouldn't happen at some random blog and instead happen at a notable number. So it's not going to happen anytime soon.



*Rin cools down and returns to normal.*

: H-hey. Let's get back to the blog!

I agree, we've gotten sidetracked so let's finish up!

Mind
Personality: Rin was first introduced when she joins Starlight Academy later in the third season. She's introduced as a street dancer, with the nickname “Dancing Bolt” (or “Dancing Lightning”, depending on the translation). She also loves to dance, sometimes moving her feet while standing around. She soon becomes one of the best dancers in the school and gets paired up with Sumire who is one of the best songstresses to create “Dancing Diva”. Later on she joins with Madoka and Juri to create “Vanilla Chili Pepper”, being the “pepper” portion as she loves things such as pepper steak and black pepper. Speaking of food Rin enjoys deep fried Shiratama anmitsu and it's said that's her favorite food. Rin's character color seems to be navy blue, though sometimes it's show as black.
As far as personality goes Rin is a cool and refreshing girl. She has an easily embarrassed side and she still is energetic, but in general she's a great character as she makes what would normally be something I'd consider a flaw really fun. Her catchphrase is “Resonate! The BPM of her heart!”. I'll also say that her voice really appeals to me. Yuuki Takada does a really fitting voice for Rin, being cool but not emotionless and really beautiful-sounding. Overall she's definitely one of my favorites from the second generation, and I would have wished to have seen her more (like Juri she does get pushed back for the main trio). I also find it funny yet unfortunate that my top three third-gen characters (Rin, the Hokkaido-girl Risa, and Sumire) were ranked in places 6-8 out of the eight named characters for the Starlight Queen. Alright, so I understand Sumire falling, but Rin and Risa could have done better (at least Juri did well, ranking first for the first two days xD).
Grade: B

Libido: As a kids show Aikatsu doesn't go too far into relationships. That said Rin does have a lot of potential partners. The biggest one is certainly Madoka. They're roommates and came at about the same time, being nearly inseparable as the show goes on. There's even an episode based around the two having to start doing separate things, but their friendship continuing on. Continuing with Vanilla Chili Pepper, which is a unit consisting of Madoka and Rin, there are some interactions between Rin and the third member Juri. That said it would be a bit more of a stretch for that pairing. In other idol groups we can't forget about her and Sumire being a part of Dancing Diva. Sumire was also the one that made Rin realize teamwork up on stage. I'd love if those two got together as they're my top two second-gen girls, but I doubt that would happen as Sumire seems to like Akari more (still, Dancing Diva is a great duo). Rin even has a childhood friend that we saw in an episode named Minami that was the one to teach her about dancing. Finally, Rin is a big fan of Johnny Bepp, but it's more respect and adoration than actual “libido”. That said, it is fair that a lot of her relations are more subtle but still.
Grade: C+

Age: Rin is 13 when she's introduced, and ages up to 14 as the series progresses. She's a year behind the other girls, despite being the same “age”, because of how Japanese schools are. Rin was born on January 1st so she had to wait a bit longer to start school.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 64
Average score: 7.1
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for this week!

: Hey! That's less than Sumire and Juri got! What gives?

It's alright, it's not like you're that far under them. And it doesn't mean that I like you less than them either. Okay, so I do favor Sumire but still it's not enough to get angry about.

: Right, that's about what Yurika got.

And you're still in the 60's which is a fair point for most middle school girls from series for young girls are.

: I suppose that is a good point. Besides, the sixties were famous for the twist and-

*Rin gets up and does a few poses with fancy footwork.*

: I can't be mad at any sort of dance!

Glad you're alright with the score.

: Of course, just getting blogged on is a major compliment!

: Just be glad you weren't a villain either.

: Thank goodness about that too, though I'll be seeing you two perhaps again.

Sounds like a plan, but for now we must be going.

: From Topaz and I, we bid farewell.

: Laters!

*Topaz and Riri leave the backstage area and take a train back home. On the way, a conversation comes up.*

: Wait a minute! You forgot to say who you are doing next time!

Heh heh heh. Luckily I've planned out a perfect girl!

: Don't leave me in suspense! Tell me-er, I mean our readers. Yeah.

Well, since Sunday is Mother's Day I'm going to be doing the traditional mother blog. And it's a mother that my reader likes too!

: But wait! You've done Rinko already. And Cattleya.

Yeah but-

*Ririchiyo puts on thick glasses, adjusting them slightly. Then she pulls out a legal pad and flips through the pages.*

: And Irisviel. And Akiko. And Fate, by technicality. And it's not like Ringo had enough screentime for a good enough blog. Same with most of the PreCure mothers. That's not even counting you still have to finish Suite if you'd even want to do Aphrodite. Since we're talking about mothers from shows you haven't finished we can't forget Chichi or Masane that wouldn't be able to be done.

*Topaz looks at the listing and flips pages. He then points at a name.*

There. She's the one that I meant.

: I suppose that she counts well enough. He does seem to like her, even did a blog on her earlier this year.

Exactly, so I bet that all our reader will be looking forward to it!

: I'll keep a close watch so that nothing vulgar happens. Especially considering the girl...
Posted by emperortopaz | May 5, 8:14 AM | 0 comments
April 28th, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo walk through the arena backstage area.*

Wow, I'm surprised that we didn't get stopped on the way here.

: Certainly, but I imagine that it's because you're lazy.

Perhaps. And for those of you just tuning in we're at the Grand Arena. It's a new part of the Colosseum that Aldra controls.

: New part nothing. I'm pretty sure this “Grand Arena” is just a fancier name for the old section.

So that's why it looks familiar. But to finish we're here to face Melona as she's finally challenged us to a one-on-one battle.

: She challenged YOU. Otherwise a two-on-one battle would seem unfair.

Good point. But at least you're here for moral support.

*Topaz rubs Ririchiyo's head.*

: Hey, stop that! I didn't say that you could touch me!

Fine fine.

*The two continue out to the center. A cheering crowd greets them, and Melona is standing in the middle of the arena. She smirks once she sees Topaz coming out.*

: I'm glad that you weren't so intimidated by my challenge that you ran away. Having you here will at least keep me entertained for a while.

But why are you bothering me?

: That's none of your concern.

I think it is. You DID attack me a lot.

: I just needed someone to play with. And young boys like you and Zettai are so much fun to toy with.

: Careful Topaz! She might be plotting a devious trick!

: Awww, you give me too much credit. But even without a silly trick I can still defeat an idiot like you! In fact, since I'm curious how about you do a blog on me first? Might as well do a great beauty such as myself before you end.

*Meanwhile, up in the VIP room Aldra clenches her fist and slams it against the arm of her throne.*

: That Melona is stalling again!

: She's never been someone who enjoyed listening to rules.

: I hope that she shall not regret asking Topaz to do such a thing...

: I doubt it. Topaz is honorable and wouldn't attack her without warning. However, it does give him time to prepare...

*Aldra hits a few buttons and a microphone emerges from her throne.*

: MELONA! What do you think you're doing? Destroy Topaz this instant!

: Nag nag nag. You never let me have any fun. Even if you are Aldra-sama doesn't mean I have to obey EVERYTHING you say.

: You dare betray me?

: Betray nothing. I respect you giving me a chance, so allow me to take my time.

: *Angry* FINE! But you shall not get any help from me!

: I wouldn't want it any other way!

*Melona turns to Topaz, who has entered the arena. Between them a cloud of smoke appears and a fox demon girl announcer appears.*

: Is everyone ready to BATTLE?!

Oh, haven't I seen you before?

: That's right! I work for Aldra, but only in purposes pertaining to the Colosseum. Hey, haven't I seen you here?

Sure! A few times, no less!

: Neat. *To audience.* Well then, it seems that Topaz wants to do his blog before facing Melona. Hopefully those bloodthirsty members in the audience can handle the wait! But I imagine that the Grand Arena, one of the three new arenas, will be the place for a major battle today!

Wait-three?

: Yes, didn't you know? There's the Grand Arena, the Terrain Arena, and the Forge Arena. But enough exposition. I'm sure everyone knows what we're really here for...

Today's girl is:



Melona
from
Queen's Blade


*The audience cheers.*

Hey! That's my job!

: Let other people announce the girls once in a while. Sheesh...

Fine, saves me work. But as the announcer says let's begin...

Head
Hair: Melona has fairly neat hair. Sure it's pink, but it actually looks really good and fits with her character as well as outfit a lot. Plus I like how her bunny ear-like protrusions look when pink. I'm not a big fan of the Lime green variety in the game books, but luckily she doesn't use that in the actual series. Style-wise Melona is pretty nice too, she has huge wavy hair that looks really pretty. It goes until right above her hips, meaning it's a perfect length. She even has a really nice hime cut too! As mentioned before she has rabbit-like ears that look really soft and squishy, and thanks to her shapeshifting abilities she has a lot of varieties with her disguises. Even including wings in one image. About the only problem is with her sides, but it is a major one. While the sides themselves aren't bad, reaching her chest and making her hime cut look better, I really dislike the fact that her hair ends in hands that are used to support her chest. Barely support at that, and while more of a clothing issue (I'll probably talk about it there too) it's one of the things I dislike about Melona.
Grade: B+

Eyes: Her eyes aren't too great either. While she can change the shape of her eyes, she's unable to change the color. This is a bad thing as Melona has blue eyes like an unfair number of characters in her cast. She also usually has a tarame, which isn't exactly great for my tastes. She also has notable eyelashes, though they aren't too much of a problem. Melona also has flower-shaped pupils. I don't usually enjoy objects in eyes either, but considering the supernatural nature she has and the fact that it's black and actually look like pupils I don't mind too much. Technically I actually enjoy it as it helps notice the differences between Melona being disguised as someone and the person themselves (though I'm not sure if her transformation in Rebellion was noticeable). While she didn't do it in the show, that I remember, she does shapeshift into Cattleya in one official image. While nothing major having a canon shot of Melona, even if transformed, in glasses is nice. It also means that she can form glasses with transformations, though that's just me thinking of my tastes xD.
Grade: B-

Face: Again Melona can change shape here too. Shapeshifters are hard to blog on xD. Luckily Melona is a fairly cute character in her base form and doesn't look bad at all. She does have a fairly sizable nose which I'm not a fan of. She also has rosy cheeks as well as what seems to be lipstick around her mouth. Hmm, combined with the eyelashes it does look like she's wearing make-up in general, but she probably just makes herself look like that as it sorta fits her carefree attitude. Anyway her head looks acorn-like and is framed nicely by her hair. And hey, at least she looks feminine which is more than I can say about Cattleya!
Grade: B

Body
Build: As with the previous areas, Melona can alter her body shape at will. This means that she does not have set measurements, unlike the other characters. That said her base form seems similar to a lot of other characters from the same series, at least the non-loli ones. She does have great legs and butt, the latter of which has a particularly spectacular shot in the second series ending. Really, her butt looks really rounded and soft-looking which is great!She really has an extremely sensual and beautiful body, really, and the series certainly doesn't hide it either. I suppose that I should count her tiny travel-size version when she becomes weakened, but that's balanced out by becoming a giantess in the manga. Overall she has an amazing body and the ability to change it at will makes her even more interesting!
Grade: A-

Breasts: Sadly Melona does not have a perfect body as this is where her problems are. While not too bad compared to some other girls, Melona still has a fairly large chest. It's one of the reasons she should require much more support than her “hands” can handle, pun unintended. Her walk cycle is fairly bouncy from what I can tell, which it probably wouldn't be if she had more support. But the main problem is, of course, that she shoots acid breast milk at opponents. This is a very silly thing and it's brought to ridiculous levels in the first episode no less. You see, Reina presses against Melona's chest and keeps her from spraying. As a result Melona gets huge breasts, to the point of exploding. As this is the first episode I wonder if a lot of people's opinions were judged just based on this poor (if goofy) scene. Speaking of expansion there's also a scene where it's revealed that she was disguised as Ymir through Rebellion. This comes with a scene of Melona returning to normal, starting sadly with her chest. That's also not counting that for whatever reason Ymir can become bustier in Rebellion with a transformation and it's double the horrible surprise. Overall Melona isn't too big, but her problems certainly are.
Grade: C

Clothes: Melona actually does fairly well here. As mentioned before she keeps her chest contained in her hair-hands. It's a very unique look, but due to the lack of support I dislike it. Other than that I don't mind her outfit, which is a transparent pink dress that fits her well. Especially as you can see her butt and she doesn't wear underwear (I think the front is blocked, fortunately). She also has a lot of variety as she can also transform her clothing. First I'll mention the outfits from the specials. First is her pink and white sailor outfit (as the specials are set in a school); while not bad and I like her bow I dislike how she still has her “hands full”, to say the least. She also wears pink panties with it, though they are wedgied up her butt. In the second season specials she seems to wear a black bikini, including top for once! In the Rebellion books she seems to wear a more queenly gown, a shame as it doesn't show her bum as well but I do like how her hands are supporting her chest from below as well as her larger sleeves. As far as transformations go, she has images where she's disguised as Irma, Elina in a leopardess outfit, Reina, Nowa, Tomoe, and Listy and she also disguises as Ymir (as said before). Other outfits include a geisha kimono, a barely-covered catgirl, a race queen with an umbrella, a Chinese dress, a gambler with cards, a maid, and a dragon. Considering Queen's Blade characters aren't known for their numerous outfits, usually at best having two, Melona's great variety is a great thing.
Grade: A-

Mind
Personality: Melona is a servant of the Swamp Witch, the main villain of the series. In particular she's good at espionage, which includes obtaining information and assassinations (the latter gives her the nickname “Protean Assassin” though she goes by “Protean Trickster” in Rebellion). As said quite a bit this is helped by Melona being a shapeshifting slime. That said, even though she's a servant she likes having fun over being obedient and serious. She likes toying around with others, especially in battle. This is because she's extremely strong and her slime-like body makes her nearly invulnerable. She could be described as being a little childish as she has the occasional outburst, but that just makes her more entertaining. She's willing to work with anyone but only if it benefits her. That said, don't call her a “monster” as that makes her upset. Overall, she makes for a good villain but we really don't have much of a backstory and she's relatively simple overall. Not a bad thing, mind you, but she makes for an interesting character.
Playing against her usual roles Melona is voiced by Rie Kugimiya. She portrays Melona's great, flirty personality well and I really like it. It's very seductive as well. That said it does cause some oddness as Rana is also portrayed by Kugimiya (though that lends itself well to one of Melona's disguises).
Grade: B

Libido: On one hand Melona is extremely perverse and sadistic. She's a very flirty and fun-loving girl that loves to tease others (especially toying with her opponents). Not only that but she doesn't have a problem with nudity. On the other hand she does suffer a bit as she really doesn't have a steady pairing. I suppose that Reina may count, due to being her first opponent in the series, but other than that she doesn't seem to have any set pairings.
Grade: B+

Age: Melona sadly has no official age. That said as a slime she likely doesn't age and she has the base figure of a young adult which works well here. Again Rebellion did hurt somewhat with the Ymir reveal, but I already punished her once for that.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 74
Average score: 8.2
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: WHAT THE?! I was expecting a better score than Zettai gave! What gives!

We do have different criteria, remember. Just because we're friends doesn't mean that we have to like the same things.

: Right. Like how Zettai has good tastes and Topaz is dumb and mamocentric!

Only sometimes! It's not my fault I'm extremely weak-willed...

: Don't worry. You won't have to feel bad for long. Take THIS!

*Melona swings her fist at Topaz, but he barely evades.*

HA!

: Not so fast!

*She changes the shape of her arm, wrenching it back and smacking her fist against Topaz's head. He takes 15 damage.*

: Oh no! Topaz!

Don't worry!

: Did you see that everyone? Melona is certainly using her transformation powers well in this battle! How will Topaz survive? Or will he not? Let's continue and find out!

Take THIS!

*Topaz tries to smack Melona in the back, but the slime girl expands her butt huge. As a result Topaz airbags off it and falls down. He stands up quickly.*

That's one huge tushie! My attacks bounce right off!

: Wahaha! What's the matter? Too distracted to fight?

Nonsense! I will stand my ground with honor!

: Quick, attack her chest! As a busty girl she deserves it!

Great plan! I might not have Rika's latest attack, but getting slapped would probably still hurt.

*Topaz goes and attempts to slap Melona's large breasts. However, she sucks them in and becomes flat chested. As a result Topaz stumbles forward, barely able to stay standing.*

: How foolish. Announcing what you're going to do beforehand while in earshot won't work! Though I do admit that I like this figure. Maybe I'll go tease Zettai with it, as he can appreciate my slim slimy beauty.

That's true, and he deserves all the fun he can get. Unfortunately, I have to defeat you here!

: HA!

*Melona returns to normal off-camera so dumb expansion isn't shown.*

: I've just been TOYING with you. I haven't even used the attack I'm most known for!

Oh no.

: You can't be serious!

We can't show that, this is a clean blog! Er, mostly, I guess. At the very least we have rules about what we can show, and that type of thing is a no-go!

: RULES WERE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!

Rules aren't eggs!

: Who cares, now prepare to die!

*Koto's head takes up half the screen, so that Melona is not seen. However, the assassin shoots her acid at Topaz and his evasion is seen.*

: Wow! What an, er, unorthodox style of fighting... Topaz is really on the ropes now!

: Topaz! Watch out!

What do you think I've been doing?!

*Melona keeps up her attack.*

: Mwahaha! What do you think of me NOW?!

You really ask me that while I'm being attacked?

: Fair point, but if you grovel to me and allow me to hand you over to Aldra this will be all over!

Never. I won't let the villain win!

: Suit yourself!

*Melona starts destroying the ground. Soon there's a large outcropping from the stones of the Arena getting lopsided.*

: Wow! What poor aim! Luckily there's a splash guard for our crowd in such an attack!

*The screen focuses on Melona about to hit the crowd with random acid spray, but magical barriers protect them.*

: But how can Topaz stand to defeat this Vicious Viscous Villain?!

*Topaz's eyes light up.*

Viscous... wait a second...

: Oh? Do you have some sort of idea to fight back? About time! You can't evade all day, and I'm getting bored just being a long-range shooter. Come, give me your best shot!

ALRIGHT!

*Topaz puts his hand in his pants, and the whole arena flinches and boos.*

: REALLY TOPAZ?! Is this the best time for that?

: I know! Weren't you just just complaining about her attack?!

: Don't worry, ufufu. I bet I cause that reaction a lot.

It's not what you all are thinking. And they call me a pervert.

: You are.

Fair, but that's not my intent this time! Melona, take THIS!

*Topaz throws an object at Melona, but she forms her arms together to make a tower shield-sized defense.*

: You fool! I said that I can block any attack!

*However the sound of glass breaking and falling to the floor is heard.*

: H-huh... I'm feeling... funny...

*Suddenly Melona's butt becomes huge and balloon-like. It's at least twice the usual size.*

: What the?!

: What just happened?! We've seen Melona transform before, BUTT this seems caused by Topaz's attack.

That it was!

: I'm not sure how you got my body to do this, or why. I mean, other than looking sexy as all get out, but this doesn't give you any tactical advantage.

That's what you think!

*Topaz runs behind Melona, who turns much slower than normal due to her inflated backside.*

: Huff... Huff...

What's the matter? Why are you... DRAGGING YOUR BUTT?!

: That's not funny! Stop moving so fast too!

Plus your large trunk gives me the perfect target for THIS!

*Topaz throws another item from his pants, and hits Melona's jiggly slime butt. Again the sound of glass breaking is heard.*

: So you've got some more of those things. I'm not quite sure what they are, but-

PPPPRRRRAAARRPPPP

*Melona lets out a huge fart.*

: Oh gag! How smelly and loud!

: You know Topaz, you cater to Zettai far too much.

More like I don't cater to him enough, considering all the problems I cause him. And those aren't even all the problems he has to go through either!

: Hey! Get your head back in the battle. Or I'll defeat you by sitting on you with my huge butt!

As great as that sounds, I can't be defeated here. Though, *cough* I probably shouldn't be standing behind you...

*Melona continues to fart repeatably.*

: Oh come on! They aren't even as bad as Airi's!

*Another voice over the loudspeaker is heard.*

: This isn't the time to say that! Stop embarrassing me publicly!

Right, don't be distracted and keep your head in the battle!

: You don't need to use my words against me! Here, take more firing!

*Melona prepares to “aim” again. Before she succeeds to “reveal” Topaz tosses a third glass item at her. As a result her breasts become so huge they drag, rendering her “weapons” useless.*

: How gross!

You're telling me! But strategically it works.

: Wow! At first it seemed like Melona had the upper hand, but whatever Topaz has been tossing at her seems to be affecting her coloring and body.

: You'll pay for ruining me like this!

I think I have the upper hand here! More mass means I don't have to aim as well!

*Topaz hits Melona while she's distracted. Her whole body trembles.*

Finally!

*Then Melona becomes a giantess, towering over him.*

Wait, no! This should be against the rules!

: Worked for a certain green guy.

: Yeah, but they don't pay me enough to deal with this. I'm outta here!

*The announcer escapes towards the entrance.*

: MWAHAHAHA! Seems your random items have paid off in my favor! Now to squish you easily!

Oh yeah? Remember what I said about mass?

: Oh no...

That's right!

*Topaz takes two more items out of his inventory and throws both at Melona. Even though his accuracy would suffer he manages to hit with both.*

: I can barely feel such tiny specks. You'll never be able to defeat...FFFFWWWRRRPPP-er, defeat me!

*Melona goes to step on Topaz. However, instead she grows a beard.*

: EHHHH?!

*Melona's body then rumbles the entire arena.*

RIRI! HIT THE DECK!

: What?!

No time to explain!

*Topaz ducks behind the outcropping from before.*

: Fine then.

*Riri hides in the entrance to the arena. Just as she makes it Melona explodes with a loud BANG, covering the entire Arena with pink slime. Koto sticks her head out.*

: Er, well... Seems that Topaz is the victor here.

*Meanwhile, up in the VIP room Aldra stands up and walks away without saying a word.*

: Are you not going to say a word for her?

: *Without turning around* Harumph. She got what she deserved. She misjudged Topaz, and put her life on the line. She failed, and failing is not an option for my troops.

: But...

: Oh, and Airi. Clean up that mess. I don't need goop all over my precious Arena.

: But...

*Aldra turns, trying hard to keep from crying and yet a tear forms.*

: Are you going to betray me TOO?

: ... No, Aldra-sama.

*Aldra marches off. Back in the arena.*

*The crowd cheers. Ririchiyo also runs out to Topaz.*

: Congratulations! You defeated Melona! But what happened? What were those items you were throwing?

THESE!

*Topaz pulls out a mostly empty case of vials.*

: Huh?

Remember the potions we got a while ago from Touko?

: Touko... Oh, the invisible school nurse... WAIT! You mean to say that all of Melona's transformations-

That's right! They were the effects of the various potions!

: But I thought you had to drink them for them to work...

Ah yes, but you have to remember that Melona is a slime. As a result any fluid that hits her would take affect immediately.

: Is that why she exploded too?

No, that was potion miscibility.

: Potion Mis-ability?

Miscibility. It means that the various ingredients in the potions worked against each other in such a way that it caused a giant explosion. I'm just lucky that it happened then, as I only have one potion remaining now...

*He pulls it out, showing off the label “INV.”*

: Hmmm, it's fortunate as giving Melona Invincibility would have made her unbeatable.

She'd be a Star, man!

: That was a horrible joke...

: Ahem!

Oh, you're still here?

: Of course. While Melona had you ending the blog as a wish if she won you get a prize as well.

Well then, I wish Melona was-

: We can't do that sort of thing.

Aww. Well then, I guess I just wish for some free time for relaxing.

: What a coincidence then.

*She hands Topaz two tickets.*

: I just happen to have these tickets to an idol show for next week. Why don't you take your girlfriend over there?

: I'm not a girlfriend!

And besides, how do we know that this isn't a trick?

: I'm not working THAT hard for Aldra...

Fair point. And look Riri, it's for a certain Dancing Bolt!

: Eh? Melotta used Thunderbolt?

Close, but not quite... But anyway, thanks for this prize.

: Welcome, thanks for the great battle. I'm sure that the fans enjoyed it!

Indeed. But it seems that this is where the blog ends for this week. Join us next time!

Posted by emperortopaz | Apr 28, 8:09 AM | 0 comments
April 21st, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We join Topaz and Ririchiyo outside his house. He is holding a box of donuts and opens the door.*

Welcome back everyone. I'm finally returning home today.

: Hopefully Rika and Topaz haven't been having wild parties.

*Rika greets them.*

: Welcome home, Ni-pah~

How adorable!

*Rika's eyes glare at Topaz as he attempts to hug her cute loli body.*

: Don't even think about it.

Fine then.

: Still, welcome back. And same to you too, Ririchiyo. I assume that it was hard work keeping him on track.

: Honestly dealing with all the girls trying to kill Topaz was more difficult.

: Sounds interesting. Let's talk about it in the living room.

Certainly. Here, let me put down this box of donuts I got as an apology in the kitchen.

*Topaz sets them down on the counter and the three of them sit down in the living room.*

Now, it all started with-

*A loud crashing noise comes from the outside, as if something broke into Topaz's house.*

Oh no! Not again!

: I knew we shouldn't have come back while there were still attempts after your life!

: Quick, check the bathroom! That's where they came last!

*The trio rushes to the bathroom. It seems pristine.*

Wow, the government really returned this to the former glory after January.

: Now isn't the time to appreciate our washroom. There's someone attacking!

Good point!

*The three rush to the bedroom, but no one seems to have broken in.*

Phew, looks like no one is here.

: Of course. You're bedroom will never make noise! (Er, that wasn't too mean I hope...)

Nice joke, though I'm alright and proud of that. But if it wasn't one of these rooms where could it be?

: The kitchen!

But isn't that a little overdone? I mean, with all the girls breaking through that way can't I come up with anything better?

*The trio hurry to the kitchen. There, they see a large hole and a girl with long dark hair sitting with a sword.*

Oh come on!

: Well, I guess that at this point it's more of a running joke. And like Working you sure love your running jokes!

But she burst through the wall and is probably going to kill me!

: Not only that, but she ate ALL the donuts!

*Rika shakes the donut box and only crumbs come out.*

: That fiend!

: Go show her the arrow of her ways, Topaz!

Don't you mean "error" of her-

*Topaz turns back and sees Rika trying to arm a crossbow.*

: What? That's not the saying?

We're not going to shoot her with a crossbow!

: Agreed. While ignoring Topaz's poor excuse for strength we need to save the uses on those weapons for a better time!

Besides, where did you find that?

: I have a lot of torture devices laying around.

I guess people really do have odd collections. Hey, do you have a morning star?

: Two, in fact. Though one is in pretty rough shape.

Well then, get the good morning star.

: Alright then!

*Rika goes off to get it while Riri facepalms.*

: You just wanted to use that joke didn't you... I mean sheesh, "Good Morning" star...

Hey, I know a guy who beat up an alien invasion with one! Well, by that point it was a Shooting Star but still...

: This is no time to be talking about retro NES games!

I thought that was almost all we talk about during blogs?

: NO!

*The assassin pops the last bit of donut in her mouth.*

???: Now that I am out of donuts it is time for you to face me!

*She stands up and draws her katana. She then lunges at Topaz, who barely avoids it.*

: Who is this even?!

Can't you tell? I mean her show was fairly recent...

Posted by emperortopaz | Apr 21, 7:14 AM | 0 comments
April 14th, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. In case you haven't been following my blogs for the past, what, four months?-anyway, I got badly damaged in battle last November and was in the hospital for most of December. As a result I got a lot of expenses and, since the New Year began or so I've been trying to work them off. However, as it turns out I recently paid them off and I can finally return home!

: THANK ARCEUS!

Agreed. Now hopefully nothing happens.

: DON'T TEMPT FATE!

*Crickets chirp as the two wait patiently for something to happen. Topaz even clears his throat.*

W-well, seems like there isn't anything waiting. Which is odd as last week Aldra, the keeper of the Colosseum, sent Nagisa here to kill me. Luckily as you can see he did a poor job of it.

: Fortunately. I can only imagine what I'd be doing if you weren't here...

Is that a love confession? It sure sounded like one!

*Ririchiyo is flustered.*

: NO IT WAS NOT! Come on, or I'll leave you in my dust!

*Riri leaves the room, carrying a few boxes of Topaz's stuff.*

I'm coming, I'm coming!

*He hurries out, but has completely lost Ririchiyo.*

Well, glasses. Now I've lost her...

*Topaz looks around, but goes down a different hallway as Ririchiyo. The lights up above start to flash, and Topaz soon realizes that he's not alone.*

Ririii...?

*He turns around and sees a masculine figure. The figure then tosses an object at him, which he barely evades. The object turns out to be a knife as Topaz's sleeve gets cut by it.*

Hey, watch it there!

???: That was only a warning. Do not think that I'll miss the next one!

*The shadowy figure walks up draws another knife. "He" then attempts to slash Topaz, but the blogger grabs the thrown knife and defends. He then gets a good look at the assailant's face.*

W-wait. I know who you are. You're... TSUGUMI SEISHIROU!

*Tsugumi raises her head, finally revealing her face from the shadows.*

: So I've been identified. I guess that's what I get for wearing boys clothes, I'm not sure WHY but I seem to get identified better in them... N-nevermind. What of it?

I can't believe that you'd come and attack me!

: LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!

*Tsugumi backs away and reaches into her pocket for a handgun. In the split second Topaz was able to dive into a nearby classroom and dive under a desk. Tsugumi then unloads on the classroom windows, breaking them yet the glass fortunately doesn't hit Topaz. She tosses the empty gun aside.*

: Aldra told me all about you!

*Topaz pops out of his hiding spot.*

She's obviously lying as she's trying to have me killed! She wants my demonic energy!

: Sounds like YOU'RE the one lying! Who would EVER believe such nonsense. You sound like a chuunibyou!

EL PSY CONGROO! Wait, no. I'm telling the truth!

: Don't toy with me! I know exactly what you're doing, and it's not working!

*Tsugumi pulls out a rocket launcher.*

I think that's a bit too much fire power!

: This is no time to hold back!

*Topaz backs away, and eventually gets to a familiar window.*

Gasp... The window from last year... How lucky.

: What are you blabbing about this time?

Nothing!

: Good. Now hold still...

*As Tsugumi fires the rocket Topaz leaps through the window. The room explodes behind him, and Topaz lands in the pool safely. He moves to the side as Tsugumi leans outside.*

: You may think that you've gotten away this time, but you won't get lucky twice!

*Tsugumi jumps out the window and chases Topaz, who has just escaped from the pool. As they run Tsugumi continues to shoot at Topaz, switching guns as needed. Fortunately her poor aim while running means he doesn't get hit. Eventually Ririchiyo starts running up.*

RIRI! GET AWAY!

: What's going on? Is it Miia or Lunar again?

*Riri starts running alongside Topaz.*

No! It's another assassin!

: I hope this one isn't another trap...

Reverse trap, but close enough.

: Listen, you there. I warn you to not interfere in my destruction of Topaz!

: Why can't we have a week where someone DOESN'T try to kill you?

You think I want to be running for my life?

: You could use the exercise. Still, why don't you use something to stop this?

I thought that was your job?

: I suppose, but-

*While distracted Tsugumi finds the time to shoot Topaz in the right calf. He falls to the ground wounded, skidding slightly and taking 30 damage.*

OW OW OW!

: Finally, took long enough for my shots to finally hit you!

: That's true. Are we sure that she's not a stormtrooper?

: Heh. But this is no time for jokes as I'll end your life Topaz!

*Tsugumi approaches the sitting Topaz, who is cradling his leg. However, Topaz's mind races and he thinks about the previous blog-



-and he throws the knife he was holding onto upward. Tsugumi steps back as he does that, giving him time to stand on his good leg and he claps in front of Tsugumi's face. She's barely dazed, but it gives Ririchiyo the time to tackle the would-be assassin. Riri and Tsugumi then fall to the floor, with the half-demon sitting on top. Riri's also sitting so that Tsugumi is face down and is keeping her hands pinned to her back.*

: CURSES! I can't believe that you knew about the sure-kill technique!

Much like using X-Accuracy and OHKO moves in the first two gens. But enough about that, I want answers!

: NEVER! I'll never reveal my personal measurements!

Not those, I want to know why you're attacking me.

: I told you before, because Aldra ordered me to!

But I don't get why. I'd imagine that you were around Chitoge...

: Well, I WAS! But then she decided to join the seven sins and attack this one blogger. Then she left again to defeat a magical princess's plot armor and I haven't seen her since!

: Wait, that's Zettai's blog!

: What's a "Zettai"?

Zettai is an awesome friend of mine, even if he refuses to think so.

: He likes to remain modest, unlike Topaz here.

But now I'm wondering why you joined Aldra's crew.

: Well, I wasn't expecting it either. I had just heard rumors that my Ojousama was defeated by a slime girl in an eating contest. As a result I went to find that pink bunny-eared girl and she told me she'd help look if I promised to find this "Topaz" fellow.

: That must be Melona! She's been a thorn in our side for quite some time.

Right, and that gets me worried as to what the other two may be up to...

: Wait, so you DON'T know where Ojousama is?

No, and I really don't care either.

: TOPAZ! Be nice!

What? I don't like Chitoge and Raku should get with Marika or Kosaki. Preferably the former.

: Be that as it may, can someone get this loli off me?

Why would you want to? I bet her butt feels soft on your back.

: Leave my plump loli rump out of this!

Hey, how about this. You let me blog about you and I'll let you go.

: I-I guess I can do that. Just don't say anything too perverse!

I'll try my best not to, but I hold no promises. But as she's given me permission...

Today's "girl" is:



Seishirou Tsugumi
from
Nisekoi


: Ahem!

What is it?

: You did it again.

What?

: You forgot to remove the quotations around "girl" again.

Oh, is that right? Meh, I'm lazy and she was raised as a boy so it shouldn't matter.

: CHANGE IT THIS INSTANT!

Fine fine!

Today's girl is:



Seishirou Tsugumi
from
Nisekoi


Better?

: I guess.

And you don't mind me calling you "Tsugumi", right?

: *Sigh* I suppose, though only because you've been calling me that anyway.

: Enough stalling, get on with the blog.

Head
Hair: Tsugumi has quite good hair for my tastes-mostly. About the only problem is that her hair is extremely short, not even reaching her shoulders. That said it does help out her reverse trap-ness as it does make her look like a boy. That is, until she gets a big blue bow from Chitoge as that helps make her a bit more feminine looking. Kinda like how in cartoons or video games they'd add a bow to a female character (think of Ms. Pac-Man for example). Many characters from Nisekoi are characterized by their hair features, and the bow is Tsugumi's. Occasionally, if Tsugumi is in need of a disguise, she does have a wig with long hair. It even has braids that come over her shoulders as well. As far as the rest of her hair, it's a nice style with the sides sticking out a bit and a long middle bang. I will say that there's a problem that she nearly has Raku's, the male lead's, hairstyle xD (luckily he also has an X on the side of his face). She also styles it at one point by having one of those “classic” beauty styles with one long bang on the side (not over her eye though) and it looks really pretty. Of course, we can't forget the main reason I like Tsugumi's hair. That's of course the color. While normally black in the manga her hair seems to be more of a dark navy on top with a layer of black on bottom. It looks pretty neat and mixes two dark colors that I like together. Overall her hair is nice and the biggest problem, the short length, actually helps her a bit.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Tsugumi has pretty nice eyes. Sadly while she starts with a fairly strong tsurime she has been becoming more rounded after she starts becoming more confident in herself. That said they still lean inward and I like how her eye is shaped as well. Minus the eyelashes I guess, but they're hardly noticeable in the actual series. And surprisingly, as Tsugumi has dark hair, I actually don't mind her red eyes. The fact that she has a tsurime helps as well, making her look intimidating. Her eyes are also really pretty, though that could be said for most characters from the series.
Sadly as Tsugumi is a “familiar” in the Magical Kosaki spin off that means that she doesn't wear glasses in that. I can't recall if she wears glasses or not in the actual series either. I will say that she wore glasses in an image from the now-defunct Majikore game. They were a nice lower frame pair (though thick frames would be better), but sadly it's a bit too little. Luckily there are other meganekkos like Ruri and Yui to help the series, just not Tsugumi herself.
Grade: B

Face: Tsugumi starts out somewhat intimidating, but like with her eyes she becomes softer as the series progresses. She's also somewhat lean-looking, though her chin is still soft and rounded. She also has a mole near her right eye. Overall she has small features and a dot nose, appealing well to me. She's also said to look fairly “handsome” which works well for her and I mean that in a good way of course. She also seems to have fair skin, though that just means that she has really brilliant blushes. This is one point where Nisekoi does really well, they show a lot of silly emotion in faces and I like that fact. There's also something to be said for the imbalance between Tsugumi's hardened assassin-like demeanor and the easily-flustered personality. I wouldn't say that I'm a big fan of “gap moe” (especially as I dislike that term) but it works really well for Tsugumi.
Grade: A

: For someone who was wounded you sure talk a lot.

Don't worry. The only hit point that matters is the last one.

: Then why did you slump down and act like you couldn't walk?

Oh? That wasn't part of the special move? I thought that since it was a leg attack I'd have to be slow for a period of time.

: Life isn't a video game, Topaz!

But video games are life!

: They aren't actually...

Besides, look at this!

*Topaz shows off the leg. All it has is a big bruise, though not a painful looking one.*

: What the?

It's THIS!

*Topaz hold up a bead-like bullet.*

: It's an anti-sensei bullet!

: D'oh! I must have grabbed that Nagisa kid's gun by mistake.

I'm lucky for that, and as a result I'll continue this blog!



Body
Build: Tsugumi seems to be 162 cm and 48 kg, meaning she's a somewhat tall (by normal standards). Sadly we don't have her other measurements, though. Luckily despite being strong she doesn't seem especially bulky or ripped, being more lean with some nice fair legs and arms. She does have a really nice narrow waist and lovely butt that occasionally gets a shot (there's at least one good one in the second season during the pool episode). The anime also helps, with SHAFT giving her smoother features and showing her off a bit more than the manga does. Overall she's a great curvy girl though she does have a problem caused by the following area... Oh, and as mentioned before she's a familiar in the spin-off. This means that she has a form where she's a cat with a blue-ish fur color, though I won't count that against her.
Grade: A-

Breasts: Tsugumi is definitely a chest girl. A lot of her non-standard outfits tend to emphasize her chest and a lot of attention is brought to it. The other girls fondle it, to the point where one supporting girl calls her “Miss Boobs” or something along those lines after fondling Tsugumi. As a result of her being busty she also inadvertently makes her rival Paula jealous. Even the fates mock them as when they're picking out fortunes Tsugumi gets one that reads “they're still growing” about her chest while Paula's mocks hers (when it really should compliment her DFC). Speaking of growing I'll mention that during the hot springs episode it's said that Tsugumi was at least an E-cup and that she's gotten bigger as the series goes on. That's one of the problems as while Tsugumi isn't exactly showing off her chest the other characters, especially the girls, tend to bring her size up. She even gets a bit of a complex from it! And that's not counting all the show's moments either; while probably more reserved than a lot of other series Nisekoi can get pretty mamocentric and as the largest girl Tsugumi gets “picked on” as a result. I dislike when “busty” becomes a character trait, and it's becoming increasingly more common for reverse traps ever since Charlotte in IS (though it likely happened prior too).
That said, taken at face value which is what I score on, Tsugumi is quite nice. She's obviously busty and I don't mind “hidden busty” girls either as it makes the time between fanservice shots easier for people who don't like that type of character to handle. SHAFT's animation style also works well, giving her a nice bounce and her chest looked especially soft when prodded. While the standard series is in Jump and as a result doesn't show nipples, the spin-off Magical Kosaki does and, while Tsugumi doesn't show hers until a few chapters in they don't look bad. Overall, what keeps Tsugumi from a perfect score is oddly enough all the attention her chest gets. If only Marika's butt got that much attention to balance!
Grade: A

Clothes: Tsugumi has really great variety in her outfits. She mainly wears a male school uniform which consists of a white shirt, khaki pants (it seems, at least), and a red necktie. She also occasionally wears a blue blazer, though she keeps it unbuttoned most of the time so it's more like a jacket. The reason she wears boys clothes is that she finds it easier to move around in them as opposed to girl's clothes. She does wear the girl's uniform on occasion, though not often (mostly either as a disguise or as Chitoge or Paula's suggestion). It's fortunate as the girl's uniform is far more plain, as it's a basic white sailor outfit with blue collar, a blue skirt, and a red necktie. Underneath she seems to wear a cute flowery bra, though we don't see her panties to see if they match.
Don't think that's it, that's far from her only outfit. Though she does seem to wear it at home, but still. She does have some nice casual outfits, though I can't think of any in particular that stood out. She's also worn a couple bikinis, the first one being a tube top that I'm not fond of (though it's likely because it was short notice and Tsugumi wouldn't fit in anything else) but the blue striped one with yellow shirt was cute. There's also a chapter where she goes through a clothing roulette pretty much for her job, putting on a bunnygirl outfit, a one-piece swimsuit, a Chinese dress with cleavage window, and a great waiter outfit. The latter was how she was found out. Before that she also wore a couple of dresses, one frilly and the other being very sleek and fitting Tsugumi's curves well. In Magical Kosaki she wears a strapless witch's outfit with long gloves and big hat. In one piece of official art the girls are wearing fruit outfits as chibis, and Tsugumi is a melon (hopefully not for the obvious joke). The Majikore game also helps out, putting Tsugumi in a lot of outfits including a sukumizu, gym uniform with blue buruma, a cheerleader, a race queen, a nice blue leotard, a naval uniform with nice hat, a ninja, a stewardess, a maid, a miko outfit, and many more. She even cosplays as Sayaka from Magical Madoka! Overall she has a great variety and looks great even dressed as a male. If her chest wasn't so forced at times I could see her getting a perfect score here, curse that!
Grade: A

: GWAAAHH!

*Tsugumi struggles under Ririchiyo.*

What is it now?

: You've said such... embarrassing things.

To be fair I talk about such things in most blogs. You just happened to have a lot more to talk about.

: Well, it is fair that you talked about her chest too much. Zettai needs his service too!

Well, I suppose that we can have Tsugumi sit and fart on a cake.

: EWW! GROSS!

: We can't do something like that, Topaz!

Yeah, you're right. He'd much prefer Marika doing that. Just sitting her ojou butt down and ripping a loud stinker without shame. Bet she'd get frosting on her butt, though most of it would wave as she lets out that visible gas...

: Er, you sure this is for your friend and not yourself?

Oh, sorry. I was trying to get him to imagine it.

: Well, enough of that. I meant she hasn't equipped the chocolate cake. And she's not a Huniecam girl. And- WHY DO I KNOW THESE THINGS!!

*She rubs the top of her head in frustration.*

: I have no clue what you two are talking about, but can we just get on with the blog. Me being a part of this conversation is nearly as embarrassing as cake fa-er, what you two were talking about.

How modest, yet adorable.

: SHUT RIGHT UP!

Fine, fine... Let's finish things up.



Mind
Personality: Tsugumi is first introduced as Chitoge's bodyguard and a potential rival for Raku. Tsugumi then ends up chasing him across the school, attacking him but eventually giving up. We also find out that she's a she, a reverse trap, at that point as well. We also learn that she's loyal to Chitoge, who she calls “ojou-sama”, due to a childhood promise. Tsugumi was an orphan, eventually raised by Claude who works for Chitoge. That said he gave her the name “Seishirou” as he didn't realize that Tsugumi is a girl. Even to this point, which is really odd and shows how dense Claude is. Then again Tsugumi had to be told about the fake relationship and that wasn't until recently, nearly 200 chapters in or so and at least two years in-series. Anyway Tsugumi was raised into an assassin, nicknamed “Black Tiger”, and goes off on missions occasionally (which may explain her somewhat spotty appearances).
Tsugumi is a strong character, possibly having the most character growth in the series yet not showing it. As the series progresses she starts becoming a bit more feminine, though not without losing her masculine coolness either (unlike a lot of other characters). And that coolness is one of the things that drew me easily to Tsugumi. She's always ready for combat and I like her blunt way of speaking (even if it's not readily realized). I also like her easily-flustered side as well, it's really cute. She's also a lot more comfortable with her feminine side as well, though she still looks quite fine in the boy's uniform. She also dislikes ghosts and is a skilled chef, being about as good as Raku. She also lives alone in her apartment, though I think Paula, her assassin rival “White Fang”, may be staying with her. I do like Tsugumi, but she does remind me a lot of Naoto from Persona 4. This isn't a bad thing exactly, but the resemblance is uncanny and it's almost like Tsugumi is a rip-off. Speaking of rip-offs while Tsugumi does get a fair amount of character-based chapters she suffered early on from the same thing Nao from Smile Precure did; the chapters revolved more around an invention she found rather than Tsugumi herself. Overall she's a fine girl that may have scored better if she appeared in the spotlight more. And by “her” I obviously don't mean just her chest as that needs to stop being a character trait.
Grade: A-

Libido: At first Tsugumi doesn't really know what “love” is. She thinks it's an illness and spends a lot of the series pondering if it's love or not. She eventually does confess to Raku, though he is unconscious at the time. She thinks it's enough though, and it does show that she has a fair bit of libido towards him. That said she's probably the least likely girl of the main four to win as she doesn't even have a key. Yeah, that sounds unusual (especially as the series itself seems to forget that plot token lately) but it does make sense if you read/watch the series. The married-couple moments were cute, at least and I liked Chitoge being a fat dog. That said, Tsugumi has her fair share of admirers. Both male and female, though the former are taken more seriously. She gets chocolate from girls on Valentine's day, for example. Tsugumi is also devoted to Chitoge, but it's not a romantic love. She also stands down for Chitoge due to her relationship with Raku, even after she finds out the relationship is fake (in the beginning, at least). Tsugumi, when drunk, also gives her rival Paula a passionate kiss. I'd probably say that's the relationship that Tsugumi will end up with, even if it's not a romantic one (and I don't mind yuri rivals getting together unlike yaoi ones). I suppose that I can mention the Tsugumi/Tsugumi pairing as the series has shown it in chapter covers and in endings. Basically it's the masculine and feminine versions of Tsugumi looking cute together, though I would consider that a cop-out.
Grade: B-

Age: I'm not sure where it is pointed out, but Tsugumi seems to be seventeen. Even if that's not accurate she is with the other characters and currently in the third year of high school (the series started during their first year). For added information her birthday is July 30th but Chitoge decided that as Tsugumi doesn't actually know when she was born.
Grade: A-

Total Grades: 88
Average score: 9.8
Final Grade: A-

And that's the blog for today!

: FINALLY! Now can you get your assistant off my back?

Why would you want that? Riri's loli butt feels great!

: Shut up! What we do in private doesn't need to get out!

*She stands up allowing Tsugumi to get up herself. The assassin brushes herself off.*

: Phew! Am I ever glad to be out from under her.

I agree, more time for Riri to sit on MY back!

: I'm not sitting on your back! NYAH!

*She sticks her tongue out at Topaz.*

I'm not picky. I guess that Tsugumi can do it too...

: What kind of floozy do you think I am?

One that dresses like this:



: Uwawaha! W-where did you get that picture? And WHY did you show it?!

Internet, obviously. And since you did so well according to my blog you were able to win a prize of a bonus image!

: Been a while since one of those. Glad the tradition is still here as almost forgot about it.

I know, and that is a lovely foot!

: I'LL KILL YOU ALL!

*Riri manages to hold Tsugumi back by grabbing her from behind.*

: Topaz! Do something!

Err, I don't know what to do. Perhaps giving her something would help...

*Topaz reaches into his inventory.*

Let's see... random potions, mint from Yui Horie... hmmm, I don't think Tsugumi would like any of these things?

: What's that in your hand?

Oh, that? That's just the bullet I got from Reika.

: Hey, let me see that.

Y-you don't want to shoot me with it, right?

: No. I'm a collector of such things.

Fine then, release her.

*Ririchiyo releases Tsugumi, who then takes the bullet out of Topaz's hands. She investigates it closely.*

: Just as I thought. A .303 British. I've been looking for one of these for ages!

So that's something you want?

: Of course! This was first developed in Britain in 1888, and was standard until the 1950's. And look at these grooves! Not to mention this looks like the Mk II, which was discontinued when explosive bullets were deemed "inhumane" and-

*Tsugumi continues to fangirl about the bullet.*

So is that something you'd want?

*Tsugumi blushes cutely at her behavior and attempts to go back to looking collected.*

: Ahem, I suppose that it is. I apologize for my earlier behavior.

: Don't worry, Topaz is a pervert so it's not just you.

: Anyway, I feel bad taking such a rare bullet without a gift in exchange.

*She looks through her pockets, which she has due to wearing pants, and pulls out a ribbon similar to the one on her head.*

: I suppose that you can have my spare ribbon. I keep it in case the one I lose the one ojousama gave me, at least until I find it again.

That's a good plan. So what, does it make me immune to status ailments?

: What? No?

: You can't equip it anyway Topaz. You're neither a female nor a dancer.

My victory against Kanon a few years back says otherwise. But either way thanks for the ribbon, Tsugumi.

*She blushes.*

: T-think nothing of it, idiot!

???: Hey, what are you doing here?

*A "familiar" voice is heard.*

: Eh? Tsugumi? What are you doing here in the school so late at night?

: Uh er uh... I was waiting for you, of course.

: That's good to hear. I had traveled down to the school store to buy some of the special donuts, but it seems that even waiting there they had so many reservations that I couldn't get one. I was also scouting around for when we watch the meteors next week too.

: A shame. How about we return home, ojousama?

: I suppose so, but how about we stop by a beef bowl place on the way. I'm famished.

: Whatever you say, ojousama.

*Tsugumi and Chitoge leave.*

Well, looks like alls well that ends well. Though would be better if you sat on my back.

: W-well, now that no one's around I GUESS I can.

*Topaz gets on all fours and Ririchiyo sits her loli bum on his back.*

: But don't think that this makes everything up with Zettai! He's probably still in a bad mood from all the things you said about Tsugumi.

Well, I can't lie on my blogs. But it's still better than wild fanboyism without properly explaining things like my early blogs or stuffing horrible mamocentric pictures and gifs in it. I could think of a HUNDRED things that could make it worse.

: That's a bad pun, and you know it.

*She kicks him, though not hard.*

True. But now I have to wonder what sort of person we'll be facing next time.

: True, it's not like we have any sort of hint. I guess our readers will just have to check it out for themselves!

See you all next week!

Posted by emperortopaz | Apr 14, 8:06 AM | 0 comments
April 7th, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-fourth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We see Topaz equipped in his standard crossing guard uniform with vest, helping kids through crosswalks. Once they're all safely across he finally gives his introduction.*

Welcome back everyone. Last month I was quite busy, doing the Smile Precure girls while facing down Melona's attacks. I even had to have a Pokémon battle last week! Hopefully this week will be less hectic. Oh, and you're probably wondering where Ririchiyo is this time. I'm not sure either, but she told me that she could trust me this week because-

*Topaz clears his throat and a near-flawless imitation of his assistant's voice comes out.*

: I'm pretty sure that I can trust you not to do anything disgusting to TRAPS. Please don't prove me wrong though.

She shouldn't worry though, I'm not that perverse. Oh, and I should mention that this week, as the first week in April, is my blog's annual trap blog. I figure that I should mention that.

*As Topaz is talking a figure that's about the size and figure of a short middle school girl sneaks up behind him. She has a knife drawn, the bright sun reflecting off the metallic blade. The girl also has a great amount of bloodlust in her glowing eyes, though the rest of her figure is undisguisable.*

But I wonder where he could be...

*Topaz seems completely unaware of the assassin behind him. Their hand is about to grab his neck while the knife approaches as well. However, completely coincidentally a volleyball is flying at him with high velocity.*

: OH NO! Topaz, watch out!

Gasp! A flying ball! I'd better use my mimicry to avoid it!

*Topaz thinks hard about the previous girl, picturing her in his mind-



-However, due to Miyuki's clumsiness he takes the ball directly to the face. This causes him to be flung backwards into the assassin, knocking both to the ground. The knife slides away harmlessly, but Topaz does take 10 damage from the speedy ball and impact of the ground. Akane runs up to the two.*

: Sorry 'bout that, Topaz. I guess I dan't know mah own strength sometimes.

*She picks up the ball and leaves, letting Topaz and the would-be assassin to get up. Topaz soon recognizes the not-female crossdresser behind him.*

You're Nagisa Shiota!

: Uuugh... I guess my cover was blown.

What are you doing here?

: I was told by Aldra to come kill you. Well, technically that one "Melona" girl told me to, but still.

But I thought you didn't want to be an assassin anymore!

: This is all a bit complicated...

==Flashback music==

*Nagisa is bowing in front of Aldra, who is up a few steps on her throne. Melona is standing beside the young boy.*

: What have we here? A pathetic MALE?

: He may be male, but that's just what we need.

: Elaborate!

: Obviously if we choose a girl to champion against Topaz he'll just blog about them and they'd decide not to attack. However, if we send a guy like THIS after him he has no hope but to give up.

: There's just one problem. I have no reason to listen to your requests. I'm not an assassin...

: Once you have a talent for assassination, it does not easily leave. And the seed of a beast has been implanted into you. Not literally, of course.

: I may have the talent, but that doesn't mean I'll work for such evil people!

: Oh? But I have someone very special to you!

*Melona pulls a cloth off a nearby cage, revealing a tentacled teacher.*

: NAGISA! Help me please!

: Korosensei? What are you doing there?!

: It doesn't matter, just do as they say and they'll let me go!

: Wait, wouldn't it be better if you just stayed in there?

: Nurufufufu... Am I such an unworthy teacher that you would not rescue me?

: I suppose you do deserve saving.

: That's good, because this is an Anti-Sensei cage and I can't get out on my own.

: Perfect. Now here's what I want you to do...

==Flashback ends==

That's quite the informational flashback. Though I wonder how they were able to capture Korosensei.

: I wondered that as well, and even asked Korosensei afterward.

==Flashback music==

*After the previous flashback, and both Aldra and Melona have left.*

: This is all your fault, Korosensei.

: Nurufufufu~ Think of it as a learning opportunity. But I do wish that you did not have to kill this Topaz fellow.

: So how were you caught?

: A carefully executed and devious plan, obviously!

==Flashback within flashback==

*Korosensei is hiding in the bushes, reading a gravure magazine with a huge grin on his yellow face. He hears some women speaking and looks over at them like a creep.*

: Oh my. My super-large breasts are so heavy! I'd better duck into this building, where anyone could sneak up and fondle them...

: Y-yes- *whispers* Are thou assured that this lecher shall fall for such an obvious falsehood?

: *whispers back* Maybe if ONE OF US was better at acting we wouldn't have had to rehearse so much!

: I take offense! Still thy tongue as at least I am still a woman of honor!

: Stuff that honor up that gigantic horse butt you have and swallow your pride. *back to talking loudly.* M-man, who knew that a totally topless hot tub would be inside this building. I can't wait to show everything off!

*She enters the building.*

: I-Indeed, mine shoulders doth hurt from mine hefty bosom...

*Centorea also enters, and Korosensei slides up behind them.*

: Nurufufufu~ Truly this will be an enriching day...

*As he enters the darkened building a cage falls on top of him.*

: Knew that would get him!

: Mayhaps this shall teach thou not to be a letcher, especially towards the upper region of females.

: Whatever. I'm just glad that we didn't catch another idiot this time.

: Quite. That male with the hand of drakes would not stop uttering that aggravating word.

: Not to mention the half-fiend with the powerful dimensional blade or the one who draws from perversion... Ever notice that guys are idiots?

: I agree with thou's statement. Although I am not a strong case I hath noticed a distinct lack of butt-loving males from your Japanese entertainment.

: I met one, once! His name was Zettai and it was loads of fun playing with him too!

*The two leave, still talking as they bring Korosensei with them back to the Aldra's fortress.*

==Flashback within ends==

: Is that supposed to encourage me to save you? Cause it doesn't help...

: Please! Please! Allow me to be your teacher once again.

: FINE! But I might still betray you and kill you myself.

: Nurufufufu~ I wouldn't have it any other way...

==Flashback ends==

*Topaz and Nagisa are sitting on a hill talking, as the crossing guard job has been long done.*

I'm glad my perversion didn't end up being used like that. Though at least I'm intelligent, most of the time.

: I can see that. So what is this "blog" thing Aldra wants to destroy you for?

I'm not sure why she wants to destroy me over it, but I just talk about girls.

: That doesn't seem too troubling.

If you only knew some of the things I've gone through... I've saved the world more times than I can count. Wait, no, it's about four, I'd say.

: Wow! You've really put yourself in peril quite a bit. Compared to me...

Nonsense, you're a great person as well. In fact, if you'd allow it I'd love to blog about you.

: I don't know if you know this, but I AM a boy...

I'll take your word about it... So then what's with that outfit?

: That Melona girl said I'd hide better like this and you wouldn't suspect me as much. I would like to take it off, but I don't have any pants.

That's fair. I can't say I disagree with her tactics as you did sneak up on me better. And don't worry, I have a tradition where I talk about cute boys like you.

: That kinda sounds gross...

Don't worry, I'm not a creepy person. Mostly.

: In that case, I suppose that I should allow it. Maybe it'll get me out of punishment from Aldra.

We can only hope that Aldra won't be angry as...



Head
Hair: Nagisa has a very unique hairstyle, and I can't say I enjoy it too much. Not that it's bad, but rather there's a lot of things that sorta bug me. The main problem is that it looks like he has short hair, but if it gets put down it reaches his shoulders. His hair length is a choice by his mother, and I'll get to that later on, but sadly this means that when he gets older in the epilogue he cuts it short. He also has his hair up in twintails of sorts, his hair being the spiked and plant-like variety. I liked seeing Kaede, another student, put his hair up like this as I found that to be a cute scene, but I'm not a big fan of Nagisa's hairstyle. Though even down it looks somewhat masculine, I'm not sure why I think that (possibly due to how messy it is), but probably my favorite hair from him is that in flashbacks he has a ponytail. Perhaps it's because her hair seems straighter, compared to his layered look having more curves. His hair is a light blue which contrasts with most of the cast having more realistic colors (in the manga it makes his hair white, which is cool but also doesn't really fit him). I would have liked if his hair was a darker blue. Oh, and he has cute ribbons in it when he's forced to crossdress. Overall there's a lot of gripes, and while I'm not a huge fan I will say that Nagisa has a very unique hair style.
Grade: C+

Eyes: Nagisa has much better eyes than he does hair, though. At first you might think that they're fairly standard, but he didn't get listed as one of the most beautiful eyes in anime for nothing (for all that MAL lists are important). But they do have a really great shape, even if it takes a bit for him to grow into his tsurime. Add that to the fact that his eye color matches his eyes and you've got a winner! I may have dismissed his hair before, but I do think that his eyes are a bit darker in the gradient near the top which helps a lot. His eye color also fits well with his outfit too, which is always good to see. Nagisa also only has two lines that make up his eye, the upper strong tsurime and about half of his eye facing outward. Okay, so he has a few more for emphasis, but the main point I'm trying to get across is that he lacks a lower line. This works well with the art style, which seems to focus on the unusual pupils of the characters. Nagisa has great eyes for me, though sadly he doesn't wear glasses. I will mention that he does wear safety goggle when in chemistry class, though we don't see that too much.
Grade: B

Face: Nagisa's face is pretty average, at least as far as the AssClass characters go. There's not much detail and the small features definitely help, especially with his dot nose. His head is acorn-shaped though he does have curve around his eyes. I do like a lot of the emotions he has though. There's the tough, bloodlust-filled version where he's smiling despite the combat and yet still looking intimidating, but he also has a cute blush when forced to crossdress. He also is said to look feminine, but I think that's just because he doesn't look GAR like Karasuma or especially notable as his face is similar to the likes of Karma and others. At least he doesn't get the titan-type face from his mother too (which is a nickname from her explosive personality in the second season of the anime where she looks similar to a titan from Attack on Titan).
Grade: B-



Body
Build: Nagisa is pointed out by the series to be the smallest boy in the class. And that's likely true as he's 159 cm tall and weighs 48 kg. He desires to grow taller, especially when he becomes an adult, but sadly for him (and a relief for me) he only gains a single centimeter in the seven year time skip. He's also fairly feminine in the way he carries himself, and is called androgynous by most of the cast. He even gets the nickname “Gender” during the nickname battle (though I'm not sure what the Japanese name was). They don't get confirmation until he swims in the class's pool and it's commented on. Nagisa does have a guy's body and has some muscle, but not enough to take away from his figure which I like. I also like him showing that, despite his size, he can be quite powerful. Body-wise Nagisa is fairly slim but has some wide hips (though it's likely just because the pockets on the outfit are rather bulky). Overall while Nagisa has a fairly standard shota-body it doesn't cater quite as well as it could as far as my scores go. Oh, and while I don't count it there is a moment in the Korosensei spin-off based on video games where Nagisa is affected by his bug, or a personal ability, and becomes super strong. Definitely not something I'm attracted to, but I found it funny that his head is still the same size xD.
Grade: C

Breasts: Like most traps Nagisa is flat here. Not much else to say, though I guess I can mention that in the pool episodes he doesn't wear a shirt and doesn't seem to have nipples.
Grade: D

Clothes: I really like the school uniforms in this series, so Nagisa scores quite well here. The uniform consists of a white shirt with either a grey blazer (with the girl's outfits) or a blue button-up vest (the boy's, which is what Nagisa wears), a black necktie, and some sort of bottom. In the boy's uniform, which Nagisa wears a majority of the time, has long grey pants with big pockets on the side and a black belt. It seems he has to hem up the legs though, due to being so short. The summer uniform has short sleeves and seems to lack the tie, sadly enough. I really like this outfit as it makes Nagisa look more like an office worker than a student and that's a cool effect. He does wear a blazer during the school festival, and due to plot reason he also puts on the plaid skirts of the female uniform. Technically this is the second time he crossdresses (and last “official” time), the first being during the summer break where he dresses in an outfit to get through a club. That outfit is sorta gothic or punk-like, having a black shirt that shows shoulders, red bracelets, a red and black skirt, and black thighhighs. I do like this outfit, but I also appreciate the fact that they don't force Nagisa to be a trap in every appearance either (despite Karma's best efforts. Though sadly this also means we don't get to see maid Nagisa or any of the other costumes he bought for Nagisa). In the manga Nagisa wears a fish swimsuit to help a teach a girl to swim, it makes sense in context, but I like how it showed a bit of his midriff. In the proper pool episode he wears trunks like the other boys. His casual outfit seems to consist of a jacket, a tank top, and jeans which works well for him (especially when he sheds the jacket when he gets really serious). There's also the battle outfits, which consists of a sorta-bulky military quality jacket, a black bodysuit, matching pants, and black boots. The color of that outfit changes to match his surroundings as camouflage. Finally, while he didn't technically wear it his mother did hold up a pink dress in the mirror for him. Overall I really like Nagisa's uniform, but while he does have a lot of variety it's nothing that appeals to me that strongly. Oh, and in the spin-off he apparently gets forced into a frilly bikini and charms the class, but that's overly pandering so I'd like to strike that from being official.
Grade: B



Mind
Personality: Nagisa is a pretty interesting guy. He is similar to a lot of traps, being shy and feminine, but that's more because of his self-depreciating personality than just being made to be “cute”. He's timid and cautious, but he also can keep a clear mind. He can hide his bloodlust in such a way that he can casually walk up to someone before attacking, meaning he has a real talent for assassination. He even uses several moves from other assassins, and his “victims” compare him to a serpent in the way he can glare and nearly crush someone even before making a move. I really like this serious side of him as it shows he's not a standard character. Incidentally he's also the fifth best marksman in the class among the boys. Fortunately he uses this talent to become a teacher, and is able to easily calm the delinquents using his skills. As far as school work goes, Nagisa is technically in class E, only doing well at English in the beginning but eventually becomes one of the top 50 students in the school.
That said, a lot of Nagisa's personality is because of his mother. He lives alone with her, though it seems that near the end of the series his father seems to have returned to help patch things up. However, this is not a good thing as Nagisa's mother seems to abuse him. At one point she even slammed his face repeatably against a table, and that's not counting all the verbal abuse either. It turns out that her parents wanted her to focus on studying and never allowed her to be a “girl” so she wanted a daughter to raise properly. However, instead she got Nagisa, a son, so she decided to raise him as a girl. This included forcing him to keep his hair long, dictating his life goals and education, and even forced him to crossdress. It seems that her favorite phrase to him is “I actually wanted a girl”, which really bothers Nagisa. Luckily, after seeing Nagisa protect her from an assassin his mother decided to hold back a bit. She shows not one, but two sort of redemption which is nice, and Nagisa helps her around the house more after that too. I bring up his history as it does well to show how his personality formed; his shyness is a result of not wanting to anger his mother while his observation skills are also developed as he tries to keep her from blowing up too badly. I liked looking at his past as it shows that he's more than just some fanservice trap character.
Nagisa is voiced by Nao Touyama in the OVA and by Mai Fuchigami in the proper series. Being more familiar with Mai's voice I'll say that it's a great one. She really gets his bloodlust when needed and meekness otherwise. I think that this is her first shota role, as she's more famous for Iona from Arpeggio, Alice from DokiDoki Precure, or Miho from Girls und Panzer, but she does have a great voice. Overall Nagisa is a great character, and the only problem is that we don't get to know his past for quite some time. Before that, and before he shows his true assassin qualities, he seems more basic sadly enough.
Grade: A-

Libido: Nagisa is likely the least perverse male in the series, at least as far as the students and Korosensei go. He seemed to mostly stay out of the tank activity, where the other boys were helping Iona with a remote control tank to look up girls' skirts. That said, there are a lot of characters who like Nagisa, so he does have a lot to discuss. First off is, well, pardon my language but there's a teacher called “Bitch-sensei” (her name is “Jelavić” but apparently Japanese pronounces Vs like Bs so she gained that nickname). Anyway, when she found out that Nagisa had information on Korosensei's weaknesses she decided to try and seduce him. This included marshmallowing and using her famed “30 hit kiss of death”, but outside of her introduction she eventually fell more for the other teacher Karasuma. He also managed to seduce a rich guy while in drag, which proved useful for another plot though Nagisa is less than thrilled at this. There's also Sakura, the rough girl from the cram school that Nagisa tutors after helping out her school. She also encouraged him to become a teacher, which is indeed what Nagisa became. There is a fair amount of years, and Sakura is fairly young for a serious relationship, they share one that's more based on respect than anything else.
There's a fair share of characters in class 3-E that seem to like Nagisa. I suppose that I should mention that Korosensei and Nagisa, being the two “faces” of the series, occasionally get paired but I'd like to bury that as I really don't approve of such things. There's also Karma, who seems to be another famous pairing for him. It's helped that Karma (along with Rio, a female student) is the main one that tries to get Nagisa to crossdress. He's also Nagisa's main rival, and they are also childhood friends. I suppose that yaoi pairings are famous among Shounen series, but considering that both seem to show more interest in girls means that I don't see how this got so popular. Karma even likes a meganekko! And yet this pairing gets more doujins than any other, grumble grumble. Anyway, we've come to Nagisa's most important relationship. Kaede Kayano, most often called “Kayano”, is the official female lead of the series. As a result, Nagisa and her should be paired up which is exactly what happens. And I approve too. Now, this isn't just pairing the two leads, the two do share a lot of moments together. They even look a little alike, both having non-standard hair colors and similar styles (though Kaede seems to dye hers). Nagisa even gave her a 15-hit kiss to keep her still, probably the only moment we have of him showing a bit of perversion. Which is a shame as I would have liked to see him do a bit more, like hug Kaede and compliment her beautiful flat chest (the poor girl needs it after all the insults she gets). Sadly the lack of perversion is what does Nagisa in here, though to be fair it's not like I expect him to be like Korosensei either.
Grade: C

Age: Nagisa is in his third year of middle school, making him about to graduate and a bit better than the standard middle school student. His birthday is also July 20th. We also see him after a time skip in the epilogue and it doesn't look like he has changed a bit.
Grade: C+

Total Grades: 57
Average score: 6.3
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week.

: Not too bad, I suppose. There were some weak points, but I'm sure that I can smooth them out before graduation.

Don't worry, I still really like you!

: I'm not sure if that's supposed to comfort me or creep me out.

It's supposed to be relieving...

*Topaz looks depressed.*

: Ah, er... Th-thank you, I guess. But I really have to get back or I'll never be able to save Korosensei.

: Do not worry, Nagisa. I'm right here.

*Unknown to both Topaz and Nagisa Korosensei has been spying behind them. The two are taken aback, while he is eating a cream puff.*

: Delicious. Your local cuisine is sweet and tasty, just how I like it.

: When did you get here!

More importantly, where did you get that cream puff?

: I've been here since Libido. Nothing more than a brisk walk from my location, so I decided to stop off for a bite. But now that I'm here that means that you may put your blade away, Nagisa. You do not need to fight.

: I'm mostly glad to see you again.

*Nagisa attempts to hug Korosensei, but the tentacled teacher backs away as he notices an anti-sensei knife in his student's hand.*

: Of course, you can always fight me.

So how did you escape?

: Nurufufufu~ you'll never know!

I assume that it has something to do with a horse or something. You have a big hoof mark on your face!

: What? No I - *Takes out a mirror and looks at himself* KYAAAA!

*Korosensei over panics in a comedic fashion, but soon brushes himself off and calmly takes a breath.*

: Ahem. Anyway, as an apology for my student distracting you from your work allow me to take it upon myself. I shall help you in whatever way you require. But, like all good teachers, I'll only aid you when you least expect it...

That sounds like foreshadowing!

: That would be giving Korosensei far too much thought...

True that. But it seems that our time is up for this week's blog.

: True, we should be getting back. How about a lift, Korosensei?

: With honor!

*Korosensei wraps Nagisa in his tentacles and flies off. As Topaz watches, another figure comes up behind him.*

: Seems like your trap blog is done.

That it is. So what made you come back so early?

: OH! I found out that you finally made enough money to pay off you loans. You're off the hook!

HUZZAH! It's been a fun trip, but now I have to collect my goods and then we can return home!

: I just hope it won't take a week or something...

It might, I have a LOT of junk.

*Ririchiyo sighs.*

: I suppose that we'll be at this school next week then.

I know. But who knows what kind of girl we'll see!



Posted by emperortopaz | Apr 7, 8:45 AM | 0 comments
March 31st, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-third week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are organizing books at the school library.*

: Psst, Topaz. The blog has begun.

Curses! I can't let this opportunity pass me by!

*A pink-haired girl with pink dual chocolate cornet hair comes up.*

: Shhh, don't you know that this is a library?

Er, my mistake. *continues but is quieter* If you're just joining us, I'd say go back and read previous blogs.

: Right, get Topaz's view ratings up. He needs all the confidence he can get.

I'm not that desperate. But in all fairness, what with my insurance causing me to get a bunch of odd jobs at Endless Cross School which I've been doing for some time and the recent attacks by Melona using magical girl creatures this has been a busy year and I have no idea how I'd summarize everything.

: You just did.

Hmmm? Really?

: I don't know. I'm an idiot who only knows fairy tales. Tee hee. But speaking of that, how about we get into costumes. Here I'll change your assistant.

: What theee heeeeeeccckkk!

*Miyuki spins Riri around, putting her in a cosplay of a certain fairy tale hero who was born in a peach.*

Looks great!

*Riri flusters from the short skirt, specifically the back.*

: I don't agree, this is really embarrassing! Look at how exposed my behind is!

With pleasure!

*The camera close-ups on Riri's soft and plump butt. However, she smacks Topaz upside the head.*

: I didn't mean that literally! Besides, it's like my "peach" is about to pop out! And I don't mean my chest as that would be dumb!

Of course. After all, if your chest was any type of food it would be a pancake!

*Ririchiyo grabs his collar and smacks Topaz repeatably.*

I meant that in the best way!

: Sure you did.

: Never mind her Momentaro cosplay, look at mine!

*Topaz is surprised by Miyuki's name mistake as it stands out from her love of fairy tales. But he shrugs it off as the middle schooler spins around in her gown.*

: Looks lovely!

Wrong series, but right color at least.

: Of course, Sinderella is one of the best fairy tales!

Hmmm? And what are those copper-like shoes for?

: Oh? Those are my BRASS slippers. Like in the story! Though I have to hurry or I'll transform back at the strike of noon!

*Topaz whispers to Ririchiyo.*

Hey, is Miyuki acting funny to you?

: *also whispering* Maybe she thinks that all these stories are copyrighted or something.

Better than changing them for no good reason through localization, but that's a dumb idea.

: Hey, what are you two blabbing about over there?

N-nothing!

: Topaz was wondering if you had a costume for you.

: Of course! Here, have a costume of the guy I have a crush on!

*Miyuki hands Topaz an outfit.*

Hey, this isn't Peter Pan!

: Oh, er, I changed it. Yeah. Now it's Aladdin, so go change.

Alright then, if you excuse me I'll change in this supply closet.

*He goes to open the nearby door, but Miyuki stops him.*

: N-no, how about you go into the bathroom. No reason to change in this dingy and dank closet.

Oh yeah, perhaps you can explain THIS!

*Topaz opens the door. Comically several mops hit him in the face.*

: To be fair she did warn you...

Don't worry, I have a hard head!

: REPHRASE THAT PLEASE!

No time, take a look at this!

*Topaz points into the room and the real Miyuki is all tied up.*

: Wait, if that's Miyuki, but Miyuki is out here...

Obviously this one is a fake! No wonder she got the fairy tales all wrong!

: Mwahaha, I knew that impersonating the blogged girl would get me closer. But no need for this flimsy disguise any longer!

*The false Miyuki disolves into slime and returns to being Melona. Meanwhile Topaz and Ririchiyo untie the true one.*

: How dare you tie me up and toss me in a closet, steal my identity, and, most importantly, get a lot of fairy tales wrong! I'll teach you a lesson!



: Oh, and I allow you to blog about me. I don't know what it is, but the other girls have said that it's given them more power. It looks like I might need it, too.

: Such haste to battle. But I'm not one to turn down a fight either. Come forth, enemy!

*Melona uses one of the shoes she had been wearing prior to create a creature.*

: AKANBE!

Careful Miyuki! If that creature is as strong as it smells you'll be in for a tough battle!

: Ufufu, I take that as a compliment!

: Just get on with the blog, Topaz.

Great plan, and as she already allowed it...

Today's girl is:



Miyuki Hoshizora
from
Smile Precure!


Head
Hair: Miyuki probably has my least favorite hair of all the Smile girls. However, that's only because all the girls have wonderful hairstyles. Even Miyuki. While not really a style I prefer, I do like the uniqueness of her chocolate cornet-like drills. She has one on each side of her head, similar to where buns might be and they're held up by cute yellow ribbons. Technically her hair IS pink, a color I don't usually enjoy, but the fact that it's dark pink over a lighter shade makes me enjoy it a bit more. Unfortunately while her hair is up her ears can be seen, though she does have nice framing sides. Her bangs aren't anything special, but to describe them she has a lot of shorter strands (three on each side) with a large middle bang. Her hair is up most of the time too, which also makes her hair seem shorter than it really is. Oh, and she also has an ahoge on the upper-right side of her head.
Cure Happy sadly has a lighter pink color to her hair, but it's still within a somewhat likable shade. The shading certainly helps too. Like the other Smile girls she gains a tiara with wings in her transformation. Cure Happy also has much longer hair as her twintails go all the way down to her knees (possibly longer, they do curl up slightly at the tips). She also has two strands sticking out of her main twintails as well as two ahoge on her head, one on each side. I like how her cornets in her civilian form transform into the bases of her twintails, it's a cool effect and I like how it creates a layered-look to her twintails. I would say that it might have been nice had they gotten bows or ribbons, but that might be too busy as well. As Princess Happy her hair gets slightly longer, with her twintails gaining more “bumps” to them. Her ahoges also become more curved. Overall she has a great look, and while not one of my favorite Pink Cures I can appreciate that at the very least she didn't randomly get blonde hair or something. Also as Cure Ultra Happy her hair becomes EXTREMELY long, easily going past her feet. She also has two backwards-facing wings above her ears.
Grade: B

Eyes: Sadly Miyuki's eyes are not as forgivable as her hair is. While they are the same color as her hair, darker pink in normal form and lighter as Cure Happy, I tend to judge eyes a bit more. Her eyes being tarame isn't the best, though it does fit her personality. She also has a lot of expression, and in general Smile's art style is really great. She does seem to have a lot of eyelashes as well.
Grade: C+

Face: Like the other Smile girls Miyuki shares the excellent art style. It's a very soft style that I enjoy, and Miyuki herself has a nice, gentle smile which she often has. She does have a slim nose, but like the others it isn't often noticeable. As said before, her face is well-framed. In addition, she has several silly faces that have become memetic. These include one where she has an extremely wide-looking face and another where she's smiling despite all the trouble her poor luck has caused her. I also can't forget that Miyuki's face seems to attract flying objects, which is the way she's introduced to Candy and Pop, the two fairies of the series.
Grade: A

Body
Build: Miyuki is pretty much similar to the other girls. She has an average teenage girl body, without many curves. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but it doesn't score well for me. Instead, I will mention that perhaps Miyuki will “grow into” a nice body. I'm saying this as her mother Ikuyo is curvy and is possibly the most popular PreCure mother in the franchise. Okay, so I didn't figure that into Miyuki's score, but I wanted to mention it. I'll also say that, like the other girls Miyuki has various transformations due to Majorina's inventions. These include becoming invisible, shrinking down, becoming younger, a mind switch with Candy (which lead to Cure Candy, which is the biggest waste of a good name ever) and even becoming a giant mecha! Said mecha is called the Happy Robo and I liked that episode xD. Likewise Miyuki was transformed into a fairy when they visited Märchenland.
Grade: C

Breasts: Likewise Miyuki isn't too different from the other cures, but like her body she may become like her mother. Again that's not taken into account.
Grade: D

: You need to stop talking about Miyuki's mother!

But she's one of my favorites! Of the non-glasses wearing variety, but still!

: That's just because you're a pervert! At least mention something for Zettai.

You mean like having her fat butt break through her jeans?

: Precisely! Now get back to the blog!

Clothes: Miyuki is usually seen in her school uniform. As with the others this consists of a blue skirt with white shirt, not-quite knee-high socks, and a neck tie matching her color (this being pink, which is also what the non-Cure students also have). Her casual outfit is better, with thighhighs and a layered ruffled skirt, and a pink long-sleeved shirt with vest over it. Again Smile gives the girls a theme color and sticks with it, meaning that Miyuki often wears pink. Of course, we can't forget about Miyuki's bonus costumes! After all, during the fairy tale fashion show she wore a pink Cinderella dress. Then later on she also wears a... Cinderella dress, during the Cinderella episode. But in the movie-she is also Cinderella. Somehow I think that Miyuki has a theme going, and while I respect her dedication the lack of variety does hurt her. That said the movie also has her in the non-magical Cinderella outfit where she's a servant, and I like Miyuki's cute bear patch on her apron. She also dressed in a flowery pink kimono for the theater village episode.
Cure Happy's outfit is similar to the other cures. It consists of a short skirt with spats sticking out of the bottom, a top that covers the skirt slightly and has frilly shoulders, and a ribbon on the chest. She also has gauntlets and almost knee-high boots. Color wise Cure Happy is a mix of white and pink (with white being similar to the other cures). Like the others she also gains a wedding dress-like frilly outfit above her ordinary Cure outfit in Princess form. But, sadly Cure Happy also has an exclusive power-up in the movie (well, it helps her as far as variety is concerned, but this is around when that started to be a common occurrence). As Cure Ultra Happy she looks mostly like her Princess form (with a whiter shade of outfit), but she gains a long flowing feather-like cloak and she sprouts a huge pair of wings on her back.
Grade: B

Mind
Personality: Miyuki is a bright and energetic girl that really likes fairy tales. Fortunately she isn't as obsessed as a certain Princess Precure, but she does have a few character episodes based on that. Also, in a bit of a twist in the past Miyuki was shy and had a hard time making friends. This changed when her grandmother gives her a mirror and a meeting with a mysterious girl made Miyuki a lot more open about herself. She's also very happy and optimistic, often using her phrase “Ultra Happy” to describe her happiness level. She also has a silly “happu-ppu” or something similar word that she says when things don't go her way, usually with puckered lips. She also thinks that keeping a smile is important to retain happiness Miyuki is also a dojikko, but fortunately it doesn't mean that's her only character trait either. Plus it's mainly done for comedy and she doesn't get hurt from it. She can get over-excited, but her enthusiasm is the reason that she's accepted as the “leader” of the group. Well, that, she's pink, and she's also the first member, but still. She is also the worst student of the bunch, which says something about her as other than Reika the girls aren't exactly geniuses. She's certainly not like a certain other “pink Miyuki” xD. Miyuki is a likeable girl, I agree, but she is probably my least favorite Smile Cure. Nothing that's her fault, of course, it's just that the other girls are really appealing personality-wise and Miyuki doesn't fit with their high standards. She's still great though, and I like how Cure Happy uses the power of “heart” almost in a Kamehameha fashion. Miyuki is voiced by Misato Fukuen who does a great voice for her. She's also known for girls like Yoshika from Strike Witches or Yami from TLR, and while not as great as the latter's portrayal (I like KDEG voices) she still portrayed Miyuki's optimism well.
Speaking of voices, in Glitter Force Miyuki-er, “Emily” for some dumb reason-is voiced by Laura Bailey. You might recognize her from anything, really. Anime-wise she voiced Kid Trunks, Evangeline from Negima, and Rise from Persona 4. She also did the voice for Lucina, and while I do like her voice it's also really over exposed. Getting back to Glitter Force they change Cure Happy into Glitter Lucky, even though she keeps the idea of being optimistic and “Ultra Happy” was already in English. I think that they did this just for the joke in the bad luck episode so she could call herself Glitter “unlucky”. Other problems with the dub include “Emily” having a dream in the beginning of the series that foreshadows their Princess forms, by actually SHOWING them, yet she doesn't realize that the girls around her are the other teammates. In Saban's defense I think that the Tokyo Mew Mew 4k!ds dub did a similar thing, but comparing it to something done by 4k!ds should show you how awful this plan was.
Grade: B

Libido: Miyuki actually has a crush that she admits during the girls' slumber party! That said, it's only the fictional Peter Pan so this really doesn't help her libido too much. Sadly Miyuki herself doesn't seem to have much otherwise. I think that she's mostly put with either Akane or the girl from her past (being either Nico from the movie or another girl that I can't remember the name of). Candy or Pop also have their share of supporters, but I don't think Miyuki is paired up with either too much. Probably the only big thing is that Miyuki supports Akane in her pursuit of Brian.
Grade: C

Age: Miyuki is fourteen, like all the other Smile Cures. Not much to say here that I haven't said in previous blogs.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 58
Average score: 6.4
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog of the week!

: It's unfortunate, but not surprising, that I'm the lowest of my group.

: Topaz prefers Blues, Greens, and Purples over the more feminine colors.

...Isn't "Purple" kinda a feminine color?

: That's not important.

: Right! What is important is that thanks to Topaz's blog I have enough power to defeat this creature!

: Acan?!

: Hey! You didn't even throw a punch or anything!

: Blame the bored writers! Besides, a creature as easy as this isn't worth my time!



: Oh no, I better escape.

*Melona runs towards one of the exits, but is blocked by another Cure.*

: Haven't ya realized by now that ya underestimated us?

: I don't think so, you bunch of school children!

*Melona runs towards another exit, only to be blocked again.*

: We m-may just be school children, but we can deal with a monster like you!

: You girls don't know what you're getting into...

*She runs off again, with similar results.*

: I think that it is YOU who doesn't know the true power we have!

: Yeah, sure. Whatever.

*She attempts to use the last exit, but the final Cure stops her.*

: You may have fought usfc using your magic, but it's time for us to battle your own person!

: Well then, come and get me!

*Melona runs to the center of the library, a circular area with a mural ceiling. The five cures all run towards her, soon folllowed by Topaz and Riri.*

: Your month of terror ends here!

: To be fair the month would end here anyway, but my terror shall reign!

*Melona hits a hidden switch, causing a deep smoke to appear around the Cures.*

What's this?!

: It seems like a crystalizing gas, much like what Aldra filled the Colosseum with a while back!

QUICK! GET OUT OF THERE!

*But it was too late, the five girls being crystalized in place.*

: OH NO! What can we do!

: Don't worry. We can play a game if you wish, but you have to bet your blog!

I accept!

: Wait! You don't even know what game she wants to play!

It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I save the girls!

: Such just determination, too bad it's wasted on a PERVERT like you!

*Melona hits a switch, and the area moves upward like an elevator. The ceiling even opens up, revealing a large arena.*

: We'll be using these Pokémon things!

But I don't have any!

: Hmmm? I'm pretty sure that I see a few...

*Melona hits another button. The five Cures then get a Pokéball come out of their chests, in the spiritual non-violent way. The balls then float over to Topaz.*

Ehhh?

: This seems like a huge set up. No wonder Miyuki's battle was such a joke!

: That's right! Now, send out your first Pokémon!

Alright, here I go!

*Topaz choses the Cure Sunny ball first, and a monkey-like Pokémon appears.*

: Inf'rnape!

Well, at least this one is really useable!

: Well, since you used a Fire-type I'll chose this Water-type!

*Melona sends out her first ball, revealing a shark.*

:PEDO!

: Doesn't she realize...

Shhhh, don't help her... Alright, do your standard first turn thing!

: Don't let that Fake Out hit you! Protect!

*Sharpedo raises a shield of energy, protecting it from harm. However, rather than clapping Infernape throws a bunch of rocks around. They don't actually hit the Sharpedo at all.*

: Really?! Those annoying rocks ALREADY?!

: YEAH! I'd rather have your monkey fling poo at me!

You'd like that too much. Mulch has a low base power and I'd have to go without an item afterward!

: Err, what?

Nevermind...

*Melona's Sharpedo seems faster.*

: Perfect! Now, do your one thing!

*Melona's Sharpedo becomes much bigger.*

:SHARP!

: Oh no! Now it'll defeat you in one hit!

: That's right, now use Waterfall!

*Mega Sharpedo shoots like a torpedo towards Topaz's Infernape. After reaching it it creates a geyser of water and rides it upward. Infernape takes heavy damage, but a small piece of ribbon falls off.*

: WHAT?

Uhfufufu. You should know...

*Infernape leaps upward and creates a large glowing ball of energy.*

-the spirit of Kansai does not go down that easily! NOW, FOCUS BLAST!

: APE!

*Infernape slams the ball of energy down, smashing it into the Mega Sharpedo and destroying it in one hit.*

: Great job! But why didn't you just use Close Combat?

But this looked a lot cooler and fitting for Cure Sunny.

: Your showmanship will get the better of you someday...

: That was merely a warm up, to get your guard down. Beware 'cause here comes the heavy hitter!

*Melona throws a ball, and out comes a shining purple killer whale. It then changes form into a black version.*

Oh no! Shiny Primal Kyogre!

:OGRE!

: Sadly Topaz is lazy and thus that's just the regular version!

Nothing wrong with being lazy! Though it does mean that Slaking isn't as useful as it could be.

*Primal Kyogre's ability makes it downpour.*

Now my fire attacks are nullified!

: Not that it matters much. I mean, who would use fire-type attacks against a WATER-type?

: That's right, now use your strongest attack-

WAIT! Infernape, return!

*Topaz recalls his Infernape and sends out his next Pokémon.*

: Nothing you could possibly have could withstand my Primal Kyogre's Water Spout!

*Primal Kyogre uses a powerful Water attack, flooding the entire area.*

Oh no! Hopefully the books downstairs aren't wrecked!

: In all fairness I think that Pokémon battles are like magical girls and the surroundings don't stay wrecked. And don't mention the Black White intro either.

*The water subsides, with Melona gloating.*

: MWAHAHA! Looks like my powerful water attacks easily destroyed your...

NOT SO FAST!

:HELIO!

*Topaz sent out Peace's equivalent, a Heliolisk. Its dry skin absorbed the power of the water attack.*

: WHAT THE?! That's unfair!

Nonsense, now to use your own weather against you. Heliolisk, use THUNDER!

:LISK!

*A bolt of lightning strikes Kyogre from the heavens. It barely survives with 3 HP. Heliolisk also loses HP due to the Life Orb item.*

: Mwahaha. That's what you get for using INFERIOR Pokémon! Kyogre, use your improved attack to deal super effective damage!

*Kyogre uses Earthquake, dropping Heliolisk down to 2 HP. However, at the end of the turn the rain restores some of Heliolisk's health.*

You may have thought that you had this one, but do the same!

: You fool! Lightning never strikes the same place twice!

In the rain it does!

*Heliolisk uses thunder once more, defeating the Primal Kyogre. The skies become clear, and Topaz's Pokémon loses HP again.*

: Fine then, if your stupid lizard is healed by the rain let's see what he does when it becomes sunny!

*Melona throws her third ball. Out comes a brick goliath, though it quickly becomes glowing with lava energy.*

: Of course she'd use Primal Groudon too...

I can't keep an Electric type out against that, better trade!

*Topaz calls back his Pokémon, sending out the next.*

: Before it materializes use your special move!

: GROUND!

*Groudon summons a ton of rock spires from the ground. However, they seem to all go underneath Topaz's flying Pokémon. It looks like a dragonfly, sorta.*

: FLYGON!

: Flygon for March? That's dumb. Couldn't you pick that one fighting bird, at least that could kick and use wind powers...

I imagine the forces that be wanted me to use a Pokémon from each generation. At least it's not weak to fire like the banana tree dinosaur.

: Ufufufu. Do you really think that a weakling like that can take down my Primal Groudon?

: ON!

: Your Earthquakes will just bounce off, but try your best!

True, better use a special attack. Flygon, use Earth Power!

: FLY!

*A great earth shaking occurs under Primal Groudon, defeating it in a single hit. Flygon takes some damage from Life Orb.*

: WHAT THE?! Why are these Pokémon Aldra lent me so weak?!

Oh, so you're working for Aldra then. I wonder what she has against me.

: It's not important, as once I win you'll be sent to the Shadow Realm!

: Great, is 4k!ds dubbing us now?

Sadly I think Saban made the Glitter Force enemies from the same place.

: When will bad dubs end!

No clue...

: Enough discussing such idiotic things. Go forth, Latias!

*Melona sends out a red dragon-like creature. However, it quickly turns into a purple version of itself.*

: LAT!

NOW WAIT A MINUTE HERE!

: Ufufufu. What could possibly be wrong?

You can't use more than one mega in a battle!

: It's alright, I'm evil. I break rules all the time.

: Hm, she's got a point. At least the villainous teams never think like that.

I'd better prepare for such cheating by switching out!

*Topaz returns his Pokémon and sends out a blue icy bird with a flowing tail.*

: UNO!

: This is more like what I was expecting. Not sure why this bird speaks Spanish though.

Obviously it only has one card in their hand.

: You fool! In the time that you switched out my Latias used Calm Mind.

: TIAS!

*It indeed looks smarter.*

: Oh no! That Lat- wait, is that Mega Latios or Latias? I'm always confused.

I think it depends on eye color, but I agree that Gamefreak was lazy. But no matter, I'll make your buffs useless!

: HA! Articuno can't use Haze so I have no idea what you're talking about. Latias, use Calm Mind again!

: LATIAS!

*It becomes twice as smart as it was originally.*

Don't let that stop you, use Mind Reader!

: ARTI.

*Articuno concentrates really hard. Like, REALLY hard.*

: If you think that will make Blizzard or something hit better you're wasting your time. Latias is fully buffed and able to used Stored Power!

: Lat!

*Latias shoots a purple laser at Articuno, dealing 159 damage out of its 192 HP.*

: Oh no! What's your plan now?

*Topaz points at the Latias with an intimidating grin.*

...Sheer Cold.

: ARTIC!

*Latias gets encased in a block of ice and faints.*

: NO! I was ready to sweep and everything!

: And I thought your showmanship would be the death of you. Here you are up without a single loss!

Of course, because the power of magical girls is impossible to overcome.

: F-fine then... But I must say... The next one is the strongest I could possibly bring.... Go forth, RAYQUAZA!

: Oh no... That means...

*Melona sends out a green serpentine dragon, but it quickly mega-evolves. The air around them become windy.*

: QUAZA!

: Quick, switch out! Mega Rayquaza isn't worth losing anything to!

Switch out, even though I have the advantage? Besides, what could she possibly do-

: DRAGON ASCENT!

*Mega Rayquaza dive bombs Articuno from space, easily causing it to faint.*

Don't worry, I still have THIS!

*Topaz sends out a pink goofy-looking Pokémon.*

: Dino!

: Really? Why are you using such a terrible Pokémon?

I dunno.

: Audino!

Exactly.

: HA HA HA! If this is the best you can do, I've got this match won already! Draco Meteor!

: QUAZA!

*Mega Rayquaza summons a giant draconic meteor and fires it at Audino. It crashes into the ground.*

: I can't look!

It's better than you expect...

: Ehhh?

*Underneath the giant meteor, easily holding it at bay is Audino. However it seems to have changed form into a more white version of itself. Using just one finger it destroys the gigantic meteor. Both Melona and Mega Rayquaza are shocked.*

: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Fufufu. Did you forget about Miyuki's love of FAIRY tales? And how FAIRY-types are immune to Dragons?

: That's a stupid thing!

Oh well. Use Dazzling Gleam, Audino!

: AUDINO!

*Audino shoots a lot of fairy powder at Rayquaza. It doesn't take it well, fainting from it.*

: HEY! That shouldn't do that much damage!

You forget that Dragon Ascent cut your defenses down, allowing me to defeat your beast in a single attack!

: Also Stealth Rock is annoying.

: Grrr. That's it, time to bring out the big guns!

: Wait, Rayquaza wasn't the big guns?

You have nothing left. This was a 5v5, after all.

: You fool! You only thought that because there are five Cures, but I have another one!

But I only have five.

: Don't worry, I'll find one.

*Riri looks in a convenient and large treasure chest. She doesn't notices how great her butt looks.*

Nice Peach, but we're looking for Smile Precure characters.

: *flustered* Just get your head back in the battle!

*Melona throws out a Pokéball, releasing a green genetically modified Pokémon that somehow has its own shiny form. It then becomes bulkier, with a pointed brow.*

: MEWTWO!

: Just Super!

At least he isn't Golden. But you can take this, Audino!

: Aud!

: I wouldn't be so sure, POISON JAB!

*The Mega Mewtwo X punches with a poisonous fist. Fortunately it only deals about 44% of Mega Audino's health.*

: Darn it, that things bulkier than I expected!

I told you before, don't underestimate the power of Fairy tales! Dazzling Gleam!

*Mega Audino does the same thing as before, dealing almost half of Mega Mewtwo X's HP in a single hit. It now hangs at 68 HP out of 181.*

: I just have to believe in my last chance! Poison Jab again!

: MEW!

*Mega Mewtwo X punches again, but gets a lucky crit and knocks out Mega Audino.*

No! Now my Happiness is gone!

: Mwahaha! Send out the next one...

*Topaz reluctantly sends out his Pokémon, but as Mega Mewtwo X outspeeds them they get defeated one by one in a still montage. After Infernape faints Topaz drops to his knees.*

: I told you that I'd come back! Now, you'd better get a Pokémon in the next sixty seconds or I'll call this a forfeit. One... Two...

*Ririchiyo runs back, a Pokéball in her hand.*

: Fifteen... Sixteen... Twenty...

: This was the best I could find!

Good enough. I have a strong feeling about it!

: Forty-five... Forty-six...

*Topaz sends out his last Pokémon, a late-entry teddy bear.*

: Ursa!

RIRI!

: Hey, it's the closest I could find to that Cure Candy or whatever!

Meh, good enough.

: I've got this one easy. Take down that pathetic bear, Mega Mewtwo X!

*Mega Mewtwo X uses a Draining Punch on the Teddiursa, hitting it directly.*

: OH NO!

*However, Topaz is grinning. A familiar piece of cloth falls off the Teddiursa, who also has a evil grin.*

Counter.

*Teddiursa's eyes star up and it grabs Mega Mewtwo X's hand. It then flips it over, causing the mega legendary to faint on the ground in a crater.*

I think that is my win!

: No fair! You cheated and used multiples of the same item!

You used more than one Mega Pokémon.

: FINE! Take your dumb cures! Like I care!

*Melona frees the girls and makes her escape. The Cures are unconscious, but breathing.*

Well, at least they're free now.

: If only we could free the girls that got stuck in other places. Like the Colosseum last year.

Something tells me that this isn't the last we've seen of Melona and the others...

: Maybe we'll look at another series finally.

Well, next week IS the trap month. And I have a KILLER idea...

: That's a terrible joke.

Posted by emperortopaz | Mar 31, 8:42 AM | 0 comments
March 24th, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-eighty-second week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We join this week's blog with Topaz and Riri setting up board game tables.*

Welcome back everyone. As you can see, we're hard at work setting up seats for the family game night at Endless Cross School.

: I thought we were just helping out the student council. How did we get roped into this?

It's a long story...

==Flashback music==

*Topaz sits on a chair, being part of a circle with many other girls.*

Can I go yet?

: NOT YET! We still have many important school duties to assign! Endless Cross School Student Council Rule #21, no one may leave the meeting until all the business has been taken care of. Now, what were we discussing?

: More money for the tank club!

: That's what you always say!

: And we could always use more money. Those treads are expensive, and that's not counting all the maintenance that's needed.

: I think that we were talking about the "aid Zettai foundation". Though I do not understand why we have such a thing.

: It's to aid in his depression by giving him a lot of service. And don't worry, I know a great way to tease him. I even have my backless butterfly panties all ready...

: Are they anything like the snowflake panties this nice helper gave me?

*She points to Topaz.*

W-well, I figure that she's a lot like Miyuki so I should give them similar gifts.

: You pamper him too much...

He is my only reader, and I want him to feel great all the time!

: Commendable, but please refrain from such dirty things. Or at least do it in a secure location!

: I did try to teach Zettai a lesson in the toilets, but it was too much and I blew the door off. He fainted as well.

I imagine he had a huge smile on his face at the time...

: Enough about toilets! Unless that's why you want to leave, Topaz-senpai.

That's not it.

: You do not need to explain. I imagine that being surrounded by beauties such as us has made your ********* become *******.

*Shino uses her pinky to explain further.*

No no no! That's not the reason at all!

: Your modesty is commendable, but do not be frightened if your ********* needs to *******.

Language! Also I think you're using far too many stars per word!

: Yeah, at least say he's waxing his tank cannon or something.

Hey!

: While Zettai would prefer me, I think that Topaz here would probably prefer the council president with the "convenient window" for him...

In my defense Zettai would probably love to be sat on by her as well.

: Such perversion... But sitting on Zettai sounds sexy. I would even call him a dog or p-pig or something.

: Ahem~ Getting back to the next subject. *Stands up with a box of papers.* Now, we'll see which one of us is going to host the family game night this week using this raffle.

*She walks over to Topaz, but a piece of paper falls out of her coat pocket.*

Oh hey, you dropped this.

*He picks it up and it has "winner" on it.*

: Congratulations, Topaz-senpai. Seems you'll be hosting.

This seems like a trick.

: Don't worry, I'm sure that she did that just because you haven't been signing up for anything.

: EXACTLY!

*Topaz sighs.*

Fine...

==Resuming present==

And that's what happened.

: I agree that sounded rigged. But at least we're not the only ones here.

*A blue girl emerges.*

: Everything going alright?

: It's boring, but it looks like we have everything set up. Though I do wonder why all those mirrors are on the table over there.

Obviously they're so that the young heroes can reflect sunlight into the sun-faces.

: Talking about video games again? At least this time it's an N64 game...

Or 3DS!

: I'm not sure what all this about video games is about, but it sounds like some fun. And the mirrors were set out for prizes.

: Cool. Good thing that question didn't go unanswered.

: And I see that everything is set out properly... *inspects around.* Great then, that means that we can open the doors.

*She goes over to the doors. However, right as she's about to open them a boisterous man barges in, knocking Reika on her butt. Luckily her plump cheeks absorb the impact, though sadly Zettai's face isn't there to catch her.*

: WRRRYYYYYY... Am I at such a silly place?

: I'm not sure, but it seems you're rude!

*Topaz helps Reika up, brushing off her bottom as he does so.*

Yeah! And it doesn't look like you're very family-friendly either.

: Indeed. This is a function for students and their families only. We must ask you to leave.

: Well well well... Er, I really should have talked more to Masuzu before takingthis disguise.

Disguise? Wait a minute.. Your next line will be some sort of bad Dio meme joke, won't it?

: Bad joke? Of course not! But you thought that I am Dio...

*Dio becomes a puddle and reappears as a familiar villain.*

: But it was I, Melona!... Uh?!

Knew it was someone in disguise.

: That's fortunate. I don't think we could have had a realistic chance against a vampire of that power.

: Hey! Don't forget that I'm still powerful. Especially if I do this- Fiend, come forth!

*Melona uses her magic to bring forth a creature from one of the nearby mirrors.*

: AKANBE!

: We should have known that those mirrors were suspicious! I never should have mentioned them!

But foreshadowing is important!

: Enough fooling around. This time I mean business!

Oh no, they're going to drop the stock market on our faces!

: Quick, Reika! Use the Accountant attack!

: Eh?

: ...Nevermind, it was a dumb joke.

I liked it!

: Of course you would. You like ALL dumb jokes!

Only the ones that make sense and aren't painfully stupid.

: While you two talk, allow me to transform!



: There, now prepare yourself you fiendish interloper!

Wait, before you get too involved will you allow me to blog about you?

: Of course! And this time you don't need to look for a Toynbee tile to get me to help!

: And Topaz doesn't have to kiss your butt either!

A-are you sure?

*Topaz looks saddened.*

: Of course not, pervert! (Though you could always k-kiss mine-er, what kind of perversion am I envisioning?!)

Sad to say, but that's more Zettai's style anyway. I wouldn't want to take that away from him. Anyway, enough delay as...

Today's girl is:

]

Reika Aoki
from
Smile Precure!


Head
Hair: Reika has, in my opinion, the very best hair in Pretty Cure. I don't mean just Smile Precure either, I'm talking about the whole franchise. Her “civilian” mode is absolutely stunning. Her hair is a dark blue and she not only has a great length (going to her mid-back) but she even has a straight and flawless hime cut. Her sides go down to her neck, giving a lot of framing to her face, and are held by small cute clips. This is the perfect kind of hair, and it matches Reika's traditional personality perfectly. If this was the only style Reika had, this would be an easy A+, no doubt. Rather, it's the alternate hairstyles that bring her down. For example, when playing sports or in her Momotarou costume Reika has a ponytail. I don't actually dislike ponytails (just look at Nao's blog last week) but other than keeping it more regulated and not as flowing I don't see the point. Still, this isn't a problem, it's more that her base form is just THAT strong that it's hard to compare!
Speaking of comparing, we can't forget to talk about Cure Beauty. When Reika transforms her hair becomes a lighter shade of blue, and that right there is a bit of a bad thing for me. Luckily she does keep her nice hime cut, though she does have a tiara with wings above her ears. It really reminds me of Umi from Rayearth, have an example image. Her sides are also longer and fuller, with cute golden holders and I really like them. In back Beauty's hair looks like it was cut, again with a straight cut, but it's actually because her hair is layered and she gains four thick segments that reach her knees or so. I wasn't too big on them to begin with, but I do like how they look like icicles which fits well with her ability to control ice. What really hurts is Princess Beauty though. Her sides again become longer, reaching past her stomach. Her tiara also becomes bigger and also gains floating wings, while her hime cut is retained. The worst part of her look is that it seems like the hair around her head randomly explodes into a lion-like wavy pattern. Considering her hair was straight and regal, then when she goes into her princess mode it just looks sloppy as if she didn't brush her hair after getting out of bed. Now, there's nothing wrong with the hair cut, but it looks more like a male's hair style (it would fit in with Saint Seiya, for example). Really, the only problem with Reika's hair is that Princess Beauty's hair is so random that it hurt her chances at a perfect score. If only it wasn't for her pesky transformations she would have done so well! Also it would be great to see a Cure gain a great hime cut after transforming.
Grade: A

Eyes: Reika's eyes are really pretty as well. Like the other Smile girls her eyes match her hair, making them a deep blue normally and lighter when Cure Beauty. I approve of this look, especially Reika's dark blue eyes. Her eyes are also gentle and beautiful, befitting her Cure name. She does have a tarame, like a lot of the other Smile girls, but it's endearing. Reika also has some eyelashes, but they aren't too noticeable in the main series. Overall the only thing that would help would be if she wore glasses.
Grade: B

Face: Reika certainly lives up to her “beauty” title here as well. Like the other Smile girls she looks extremely great, especially for my tastes. She has lovely soft-looking cheeks and, well, not exactly dot-sized but still a fairly small nose which I still like. She also has a great blush, and in general looks absolutely GORGEOUS! I'm not sure what the reason is, but Reika's close ups are some of the best in the Cure series (at least in my opinion) and she looks almost flawless. That said, she also doesn't look too different from the other Smile girls, and it's possible her great hair framing her face and adding a bit of color is leaking into my opinion of her. As a result I won't make her too much better than the other girls.
Grade: A

Body
Build: Reika has a body fitting a middle school girl, like the other girls in Smile PreCure. Nothing wrong with that, but slender girls don't score too well here. It is noted that in an episode she does have a diving buttshot, though sadly it's not as good as it could have been (though I guess I can't be too hard on shows for girls not trying hard for fanservice).
Grade: C

Breasts: Again, like the other girls Reika has a flat chest. Nothing wrong with it, other than not scoring well in my blog. There are certain aspects of this franchise that are much better for Zettai, including this and the previous area.
Grade: D

Clothes: Reika is usually seen in her school uniform. As with the others this consists of a blue skirt with white shirt, white not-quite knee-high socks with a blue stripe, and a neck tie matching her color (this being blue). Reika's colorized customization is that she wears a second shirt over her shirt, it likely has a certain name but not sure how to describe it. The shirt is blue, but not as dark as her skirt or hair. Overall, since I like blue I really like Reika's outfits the best out of the girls. The fact that the light variation and white work well with her dark hair is another bonus. Other casual outfits include a light blue fancy dress with dark blue belt and average-blue jacket, a frilly doll-like dress with a big bow in back which is white with light blue in certain places, and her gym clothes which have red shorts. Speaking of athletics she also wears a standard archer's outfit when performing archery, including the chest piece. She also dresses as Momotaru in the movie (if only she'd show her “peach” instead), Prince Charming in the Cinderella story (which is odd as she's the most feminine character, though I do agree she's the most regal), a lovely kimono in the movie village episode (including the head decorations), and a swimsuit at one point. Overall she has a great amount of variety and much of it fits her noble background.
Beauty's outfit is similar to the other girls, but with a dark blue and light blue mix rather than the girl's color and white. The top looks fancy with the frills as do the skirt, and I like Beauty's arm bands as well. She also wears high boots (though not knee-high) and I will mention that many of Reika's outfits have heels which I'm not too fond of. It's possible that she wears them to make herself taller and be able to look Nao in her eyes, perhaps xD. Anyway, like the others she gains a light-colored wedding dress-like outfit over her Cure outfit when going into Princess mode, and it has a nice big bow in front too. I will say that Beauty's is definitely a very pale shade of blue, as opposed to white. Overall again I really like blue so I approve of the little differences between Beauty and the other Cures.
Grade: B

Mind
Personality: Reika is an elegant and quiet, if friendly girl. By “quiet” I don't mean she's a KDEG or something, but that she has a gentle and respectable tone to her voice. Speaking of voice Chinami Nishimura does her voice, and if it wasn't for some other big-names like Marina Inoue in the same series she'd easily be the best. She gives Reika a beautiful voice and has one of the strongest performances in the series. I know I've probably used “beauty” to describe Reika too much at this point, but it's really a great way to describe her various points as she's simply amazing. Anyway Reika is a classic sort of Yamato Nadeshiko, being from a proper and rich Japanese family. She's calm in demeanor and has many noble activities such as being in the archery club or standing as the student council vice president (though she becomes president later in the series). She's also very philosophical and deep-thinking, though she's puzzled by the jokes in the episode where they meet Akane's comedy idols. Still better than being puzzled by the easy questions given to the other cures, and while Reika is the smart one of the team they do both a good and bad job at showing it. The bad is the aforementioned questions, the good is when she's easily able to spot the weaknesses in the enemies with little interaction. She also cares for the flowers around the school, coming in early to do so. There's also a lot of similarities between Reika and Karen from Yes, what with both being smart Blue cures that came last, having noble families and archery attacks, and having similar calm yet popular personalities. The main difference is that Karen, as Cure Aqua, controls water while Reika as Cure Beauty controls ice. Interestingly, but fitting her late entrance (even if it's only the fifth episode), Cure Beauty is probably the strongest of the Smile PreCures. I don't mean in pure brute strength, but a lot of times Reika faces down Joker alone, and Joker is basically the second in command after the sealed big bad. Oh, and Reika has an older brother, a father we don't see, a mother who practices Akido, and a grandfather that is a bit controlling but is looking out for Reika. Reika also takes her path in life seriously, nearly quitting being a PreCure to see what she really wants to do (though it does not last long). Overall Reika is an amazing ojou that deserves a great score here.
Reika's name in Glitter Force is “Chloe”, and I have no idea where that name comes from. It certainly does NOT fit a proper Japanese lady like her, though given that they probably removed many of the cultural things at her house I guess they're getting rid of that aspect of her. Speaking of confusing names, where exactly does Glitter BREEZE come from? I mean, I could see Nao having that name as she at least controls wind, but Beauty uses ice. I guess the reasoning is that they try to use a “wintery breeze” excuse but that's just dumb! Hilariously water comes from a type of Spring so it's possible that they got the names mixed up xD.
Grade: A

Libido: Reika, as mentioned last week, is part of the famous pairing with Nao. As said, at 8:40 or around the two would often have some sort of yuri interaction. Sadly it seems that Nao is the main one doing these things, no doubt because she can't keep her hands off Reika. That's not to say that Reika doesn't recipricate, the eye contact is mutual and Reika seems to be more of the verbal-compliment type. Overall I approve of the two being together, and not just because it's nice when Zettai and mine favorites are yuri together. I suppose that I should mention that Joker sometimes gets paired with Reika, as each villain seems to get paired with the Cure they face most often, but I'm not too big on that. Overall not bad, but she needs to give Nao more hugs.
Grade: C

Age: Like the other Smile girls Reika is also 14. Not much else to say here, I've pretty much said everything with the other Cures but that doesn't make Reika less special either.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 66
Average score: 7.2
Final Grade: B-

: That may be less than Zettai gave me, yet you were far more positive...

He approves of middle school beauties like you more. Pun not intended.

: I think that he was only harsh because it was while DokiDoki and Mana Sue were still on the air. I'm sure he'd be much kinder to you now.

: That is a relief, I would wish to see him again. Perhaps I shall visit him alongside Kuroyukihime when she goes.

: AKANBE!

: Right! How dare you not even throw a punch! What kind of PreCure are you?

: The kind that doesn't rush into things. *starts glowing* But since I have enough power now...



*Even though Reika uses her Beauty Blizzard attack the monster shakes it off.*

: AKAN BE!

: OH HO HO! Looks like you've found the secret trait of this boss!

Oh no! It's a Water/Ice type with Thick Fat! Ice will deal next to no damage!

: I don't think that's it...

: Correct. It's more that this monster's pain is sent directly to your best friend!

==Meanwhile, in Spain==

*Zettai shivers.*

Zettai: D-did it suddenly get chilly in here?

: *Not even looking up from her book* Stop lying, it feels just fine in here. Dummy.

: *Also casually reading* Right. Like I'm going to fall for that again and "warm" you with my farts again...

Zettai: No, really! It's like I suddenly got cold!

: Yeah right!

==Back at Endless Cross School==

You can't hurt him, Zettai will feel the pain!

: OH HO HO! Looks like I've got you this time!

No! There's still one thing that Cure Beauty can do!

: There is?

: Nonsense! You're all out of options!

Oh yeah? What about-*whispers in Cure Beauty's ear. She blushes a bit.*

: O-oh my. But I'll try my best!

: AKANBE!

*Cure Beauty leaps high into the air, and then falls butt-first onto the beast. She uses her immense butt-strength to destroy it for good.*

==Meanwhile==

*Zettai is thrown out of his gaming chair and flung against the room.*

: EH?! What just happened?

: I'm not sure, but seems that Shadow Mewtwo is so difficult he got thrown in real life!

*Zettai has a huge grin and places his thumb upward.*

Zettai: Don't worry, ehehehe. I just felt something soft, yet familiar...

: Dummy...

==Returning==

: Grrr... Seems even my disguises are no match for you! But don't worry, I shall return next time to make sure you're defeated!

*She escapes.*

: Why did you let her escape, Topaz?

What are we going to do, trap her in a cage?

: I could have frozen her liquid body in an ice crystal.

Fair point, she probably wouldn't be able to escape if that was the case. But who would think of freezing a slime girl in ice?

: Well, it would be more likely than smashing into it with my bu-bottom.

: Yeah, what kind of creature has Thick Fat but takes so much from physical Poison-type moves?

: Eh? My bottom is "Poison"?

: Don't kid yourself, I can smell it from over here.

The answer to your question is easy, Ririchiyo. Azumarril.

: Wait a minute! You mean that there's Azumarril without Huge Power?!

Apparently!

: My mind is blown!

: *Ahem* Anyway, shall we finish preparing. Luckily she didn't make a big mess.

Certainly. *looks around.* Hey, this chess board is unusual!

*Topaz holds up something that is certainly not a queen.*

: Yes. It has been some time, but that set has been missing a queen.

*Ririchiyo inspects the other pieces.*

: Hey, don't these look familiar?

You're right.

*Topaz puts his hand in his pants and pulls out a chess piece. It happens to be a queen, no less.*

The queen I got from Shiro!

: Oh goodness, it does match perfectly! At least that means that we don't need to use this anymore.

*Reika hands the object to Topaz, who inspects it further.*

Wow... Hey, this is a bullet!

: That doesn't sound very family-friendly!

That makes me glad that we found it in time. But speaking of time, it's about time for us to be going.

: At least as far as the blog goes. So Topaz, any idea what we're doing next time?

Seems we're on library duty. Hopefully a certain purple Touhou girl shows up!

: I doubt it, but at least it should be quiet.

: Hmmm, if I remember the library will be doing a special on fairy tales next week. I have a friend who might be interested...

I'm sure that we'll meet her. But for now, we'll be seeing you readers next time!

Posted by emperortopaz | Mar 24, 8:57 AM | 0 comments