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April 23rd, 2015
Anime Relations: Oda Nobuna no Yabou
This is the Three-hundredth-thirty-fourth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*A world map is shown, with Topaz and Ririchiyo's faces above a Mario Paint-looking plane. It travels from China to Japan, with a dotted line behind them.*

Welcome back everyone. Hopefully you've been carefully reading my blog or you'll be wondering why Ririchiyo and I are here in Japan. Basically we're searching for Kan'u who has been said to be one of the saviors that I need to meet and blog in order to defeat some people called the "Chess Masters" that want me to quit my blogs. We were sent here from China as we recently met with Sousou. That's about it for the summary. Would you like to add anything, Ririchiyo?

???: Yes.

*The tiger hatted girl looks up.*

: I don't get why you're calling me this "Ririchiyo". I'm Inuchiyo.

Wait, you're not my assistant. Though you do look a bit like her.

: Really? Then she must have been sent to the castle of my master. We shall head there at once!

Which direction is it-GERK!

*Topaz stumbles on his words as Inuchiyo grabs him by the collar and flips him over her loli shoulder. She then leaps from rooftop to rooftop until they reach the center of a large palace. Before they enter, Riri seems to be having some problems.*

: I told you I'm not this "Inuchiyo" girl, I'm here to help my big friend Topaz talk about girls!

???: A likely story!

SHE'S RIGHT!

*Topaz barges in the double doors and runs up to hug Riri. She grumbles slightly but accepts it.*

: What have you been up to? And why does that girl look so much like me!

: Well, we are both hime cut lolis but I'm nowhere near as scrawny as you are.

: S-scrawny?! I'll show YOU who's weak!

*Ririchiyo pushes her butt against Inuchiyo's. She's surprised so Riri easily knocks her over, their butts bouncing from the impact. Inuchiyo stands up and brushes herself off.*

: You only won because I was off-guard!

Would you say that you were ...FLAT-footed?

*Both Inuchiyo and Riri glare at Topaz.*

N-not that there's anything wrong with that!

: What do you say we show this guy how great flat girls can really be!

: Maybe we'll squish him between our next butt-battle too!

*Clap clap*

???: Alright you three. Remember you're in my court so stop that horse play.

...But "horse play" sounds like something I'd enjoy!

*Topaz glances up at the throne and sees a blonde exposing her black bra.*

-Especially by such a beauty such as yourself!

: I bet you'd still prefer me though!

That's fair. Anyway, judging my Inuchiyo being here I can safely assume that you're Nobuna!

*Nobuna stands up.*

: I see that my reputation proceeds me! Good to know I'm such a globally-known name.

: Nah, it's just that Topaz here knows shows well. That and there's video games with you in it.

Yeah, but most of them are the gross male version. Who'd want to play that!

: And I bet she doesn't even have a Black Rayquaza...

Now now, it's unfair to mention that game. If only more people could play it!

: Hey, quit leaving me out of your conversations!

Oh, sorry. Sometimes I forget where I am. So since we're here, would you like a blog done on you Nobuna?

: What's a blog?

I talk about you on the internet.

: I see. Since you say that people don't know me well enough I'll allow it.

: Hey, what about me?

Unfortunately even with your great hair and loli body I can't judge you well. You just never really had that much screentime.

: Booo!

: Behave Inuchiyo! Besides, would you say that you deserve a blog before I do?

: N-no! I'd never imply that in a hundred years!

: I see. Since I've given permission this had better be a good blog...

*Nobuna cocks her rifle.*

: Or else...

*Gulp* Well then, let's get on with the show...

Today's girl is:



Nobuna Oda
from
Oda Nobuna no Yabou


Her name reminds me of a certain character from your series, Riri.

: That's "NoBARA", not "Nobuna"!

Sounds like a good plan; "No bara". No one would like it anyway. I approve of girl's "bun-as" though...

Head
Hair: Nobuna has blond hair that's usually kept up in a bun. If down it does seem to be rather long, reaching past her hips or so. It does look pretty, with a nice wave to it, but not outstandingly so. Her bun also has a small "tail" to it, pointing upward for some reason and the bun itself has a red ribbon for decoration. Nobuna's bangs are pretty unique; she has a layered look with double M-shaped curves. This and her sides try to frame her face, but the lower set of bangs does fall near her eye level which is a bit too long for my tastes. She has pretty wide bangs so you can see some of her forehead in the middle, and in the center of the "Ms" she has an ahoge growing out.
Grade: B-

Eyes: Nobuna has golden eyes which match her hair. Unfortunately I'm not too big on yellow eyes, but I do like the fun marble-like gradient in her color. Her eyes are also somewhat tsurime-like, but sadly it's not in any consistent manner. The corners of her eyes are done well which lends me to say that, but she doesn't have too much of one at times. She does show a lot of expression in her eyes though, which works well with the lighting of the series. She also has pretty determined eyebrows, with an almost constant downward slope. Her eyebrows are also somewhat thicker than most, or maybe it's just that she has blonde eyebrows, but they stand out a bit. Not enough to get to memetic levels (she's not Satsuki or someone), but they are noticable.
Grade: B-

Face: As with Nobuna's eyes her face looks really nice with the lighting effects in the series. Sadly she doesn't have the best face, not only being somewhat average but being very slightly mannish. I guess this sort of makes sense considering she's a genderbent version of a famous Japanese leader, but the other characters don't have this problem. And it's not like it's THAT major either, it's just something I've noticed in my research. Fortunately she does have a nice face with a small nose, but I'd still say that she's about average or so.
Grade: B

Body
Build: Nobuna doesn't show off her body all too much. Well, occasionally, but you know what I mean. She's a lean girl that is strong, but she does have a feminine curve. Sadly Nobuna lives up to her No-BUN-a name and doesn't show off her butt. Her legs, while also not shown off too much, are shown in a few official images. They're not bad but don't have much shape to them. Her waist is nice though, but surprisingly she doesn't have abs (not that I mind, but even minor ones would show her strength). Due to her outfit her shoulders also get attention on occasion, but I'm not into that part.
Grade: B

Breasts: Nobuna's chest is somewhat ample and, again due to her outfits, shown off. Not to the point of some other series (the only time we see her nipple is on the cover of a fan book and even then it's mostly covered) but to a good amount. As far as size goes she's nowhere near some of the bustiest characters in the series (like Katsuie) but I'd call Nobuna herself at least fair-sized. There's an image where she teases her chest due to being warm, with Inuchiyo being flustered at her ruler's exposure. She also does a hand bra during the lead guy's fantasy, but as he can't appreciate lolis let's not talk about him (until later at least).

: Breasts are only useless decorations!
Grade: B-

Clothes: Nobuna has one of the fanciest and most unique outfit I've seen for a while. Her casual outfit consists of a black hakama with a yellow trim that seems to be made of tiger skin (she seems to have a tiger motif in general) and a greenish-blue haori though she has one arm out. This causes her black bra to be seen quite a bit as well as her shoulder. While not shown (except in official art) she also has matching black panties. Around her waist is a thick rope belt and she wears tabi-type socks with sandals-er, “zori”.
Nobuna also has a few other outfits. We first see her in her battle outfit which consists of black armor and a red cloak. Considering her hair color and style this reminds me of a certain male lead. It doesn't look bad, mind you. She also wears a pretty pink kimono with flowers (both the design and actual flowers) and a sash. Nobuna also gets wounded near the end of the anime, making her wear just her haori with some bandages around her chest and waist (sadly this doesn't mean she wears a sarashi. It would fit her well, though!). Official art also adds two nice outfits: a midriff-showing sailor uniform with blue trim, red hankerchief, and blue pleated skirt, and a gym uniform with red buruma (though sadly we don't see much of them). She also wears a black bikini but she has support issues I imagine (the bottom is nice and side-tied).
Grade: B+

Mind
Personality: Nobuna is the main female character from her show (which you should be able to assume by her name in the series name). The series in general is a modified version of Oda Nobunaga's tales with Nobuna here being a genderbent version. She's the daimyo of Owari Province and is dedicated to uniting Japan into one single country (rather than a bunch of smaller, independent ones). She's a brilliant tactician and general, but her opponents still call her a “fool”. Then again I imagine that at the time all of her actions did seem foolish her strategy worked well. Her biggest advantage was that this was a time when guns were still taboo in Japan. As a result Nobuna's forces had quite the advantage. However, it's not just the military might that firearms gave that Nobuna wanted them. You see, she's a major admirer of foreign culture. She's especially interested in European customs and even has the lead swear his loyalty by kissing her hand like a European knight (saying that it's "cooler" and "more elegant"). She also has an interest in Matchlocks which are a type of gun. She also has a globe and an organ in her room as well.
Attitude-wise Nobuna is surprisingly friendly and easygoing. She's a bit impatient (she steps on the lead's face, sadly with a shoe, when he takes too long to introduce himself). She shows concern for both the people she cares about and her people. She does get angry (or, more accurately, aggressive) when she has to do something particularly heartbreaking and this becomes more intense as her relationship with the lead goes on. It's also said that Nobuna grew up in a troubled family. Her father did care for her but her mother not so much. However, after he died she seemed to close her heart and gain a hatred of liars and such. His death also caused her younger brother Nobukatsu to act up with the advice of his retainers as they wanted him to rule. She does care for him but she seems to tease him by putting him in drastic situations. Overall she seems to want her father's approval an is trying to unite Japan however she can.
Nobuna is altogether a nice girl. Not quite an honor blade (even if she does use a sword) and not quite an aloof older sister either. As a result she's hard to define, except in the point I'll mention next area. I'll add that Kanae Itou does Nobuna's voice and does a good job with it. She also adds a catchphrase of "Dearu ka!" for some reason (this is translated as "I see").
Grade: B

Libido: Sadly Nobuna is a tsundere. This is unfortunate as if she was more dominant it would be cool to see her train her "monkey", meaning the male lead, to obey her orders. Sadly monkey doesn't have the same impact "pig" does though. Anyway Nobuna eventually falls for Yoshiharu, the male lead. She becomes upset at his womanizing ways but goes berserk when she thinks that he's dead. She's also not a fan of his womanizing ways but does mention that she does want to be "A" wife of his. Unfortunately this not only won't work as he's a time traveler from the future but I'm not a big fan of him in general. They'll probably still get together though.
As far as other characters goes, Nobuna does have some other options. She does have a few female admirers, such as Katsuie, which is an option in that area. Katsuie in particular tries to keep Nobuna safe from his clutches but often fails and eventually she starts to fall for Yoshiharu as well. As said before she also has a younger shota-ish brother. I would love to have seen them together (especially thanks to a certain doujin I've read) but I doubt it would happen as the two don't seem to have that sort of chemistry. She does crossdress him to force him into an arranged marriage, but luckily he gets matched with a reverse trap for irony.
Grade: B-

Age: Surprisingly Nobuna is only 16. She seems older than that to me, but I guess that happens with being a responsible leader.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 69
Average score: 7.7
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: How unfortunate for Nobuna, she got worse than Sousou last week!

: Really? But I'm the most beautiful girl in the world! Yet you say that I'm not good enough for your blog?

I was surprised myself too, especially considering your curvy body. Then again it's been a while since I saw your series and I haven't read the novels. Maybe there's things in there that I'd like more or I'm forgetting something major.

: Somehow I'm not surprised you remembered the part about the older sister crossdressing her feminine younger brother...

*Topaz makes a goofy smile.*

: Now, since my blog-or whatever you call it- is complete I shall ask you to leave.

That's fine, I don't think we have any other-*Ririchiyo slaps him*-HEY!

: Don't forget to ask her about the savior!

Good job remembering that, it's the whole point we came here!

: What are you talking about now?

I'm searching for a girl named "Kan'u Uchou" and we heard that she was in this area.

: I see. Well, you've got the right country at least but not the right region. You're a bit South-West of where you're planning on going. You're in Owari now and you have to get to Kanto.

Can we take a bullet train?

: I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds fascinating!

: Don't get too excited, Nobuna-sama...

: Right, especially because I know this is a gaming joke. Do you want me to mention we should start with Bulbasaur or something next? (This guy and his references... Though I like when I can play on his lap-Er, not like that, mind!)

: You folks from the future are always so entertaining! But if you're going to be facing the powerful warriors in Kanto you'll want some sort of protection. Inuchiyo, give them that weapon.

: Yes, Nobuna-sama.

*She disappears and reappears with a matchlock handgun.*

I appreciate the offer, but I wouldn't shoot an innocent girl. No matter how strong they are!

: Do not worry. This gun is modified to only shoot a special type of laughing gas. When it hits the person you're aiming at they make a bad joke. Hopefully this will allow you two to escape.

Sounds like a pretty random item, but I'll still treasure it. You never know when an odd item could save me so thanks!

*Topaz takes the gun and shoves it into his pocket. There's a slight bulge.*

: Hey Topaz. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

...Can't it be both?

: Ewwww! I hate that C-option!

I'm just joking.

: Oh no, he's shot himself with the gas!

: Don't worry, he's always like that anyway.

: I see. Well, I hope you the best.

Now, let's get going Riri!

: Wrong person. Again.

Er, of course.

*Topaz grabs Ririchiyo's hand. She blushes a bit.*

NOW we'll be able to go.

: To Kanto! Hopefully there won't be any ninjas there that look surprisingly like me!

I'm sure there won't be, and don't go placing ideas in my readers heads. We'll finally be confronting Kan'u next time, to clarify. See you readers then!

*The two leave the grand palace.*

: What a weird monkey... N-not that I want him to return, but I really should have asked more about the future.

: Maybe next time, Nobuna-sama.
Posted by emperortopaz | 04-23-15, 10:09 AM | 0 comments
April 16th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-thirty-third week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.



*A world map is shown, with Topaz and Ririchiyo's faces above a Mario Paint-looking plane. It travels from Spain to China, with a dotted line behind them. The blog begins with a close up on a famous Chinese building.*

Look, Ririchiyo! We're finally in China!

: I'm just glad to be back... Er, for the blogs sake. I didn't want you getting into perverted trouble while I was gone!

I understand. And welcome back readers as well. We're currently on the search for Kan'u as she's one of the saviors apparently. Because of that, we came here to China! Look, It's the Temple of Heaven!

: I see. It's very well made. But, er, Topaz.

And look, over there!

*The camera changes, now showing a large palace.*

It's the Forbidden City! Oooohhh ahhhhhh!

: Stop being such a tourist! And besides....

And look over there! It's the Great Wall of China!

*The camera changes to a large wall that stretches for a long time.*

: W-wait. Where's that?

*Suddenly Riri's huge butt nearly sits on the wall.*

Oh no! Quick, everyone escape! It's Buttzilla! Or don't escape and have a soft squishy death!

: MY BUTT ISN'T THAT SQUISHY! (I'm lying) B-besides, it's all your fault for looking at these models!

*The camera zooms out and shows that Topaz and Riri are shopping inside a store. The places they visited are all secretly models.*

But I wanted to make it seem like we're really exploring China rather than heading straight there!

: I'm still surprised that you knew where Sousou's palace is and that you know that Kan'u would be there.

Katja and Sousou are close friends, but being so similar I'm not surprised. Besides, now that my joke is complete we should get heading there.

: FINALLY! N-not that spending time with you is so terrible...

Thanks, same for you!

*Riri flusters a bit, but both her and Topaz eventually arrive at the palace.*

Wow, it's much bigger in person!

: You're thinking about what would happen if I became huge and sat on it, aren't you.

... Now I am.

*Topaz smiles, but Ririchiyo smacks him upside the head.*

: Enough of that, it's time to go in!

*They enter, and eventually reach Sousou's inner chamber. She is sitting on a throne, with a cat-eared girl sitting beside her.*

: Sousou! Sousou! Intruders! Do you want me to take care of them?

: No no. They must be the ones that Katja told me about a week ago. Can you believe this world? We're able to communicate from that far in a matter of seconds! But you're not here to hear me be impressed by technology. I hear you're looking for Kan'u, your savior.

That's right! Good thing Katja told you so much or else this conversation would go on for a lot longer.

: Not that Topaz keeps it short...

Possibly, but I came here searching for Kan'u. Do you happen to know where she could be?

: Hmmm... Perhaps if you do something for me first I'll be more willing to tell you were she is...

Sure! What, do you want to fight me or something?

: Nothing of the sort. I just want you to blog ME this week. Katja kept talking about your blog, and Zettai's as well, so it's piqued my interests. But make sure not to bore me.

: And don't forget to talk about all of Sousou's wonderful qualities!

I won't, but it looks like...



You don't mind me calling you "Sousou", right?

: That is surprisingly formal, especially for you.

: Technically it would be "Sōsō" but I understand your difficulty with that. Sousou is fine, I'll allow it.

: You should be honored that Sousou allows you to speak to her at all.

*Sousou clears her throat.*

: Sorry, Sousou-SAMA. How could I forget the title for such a beautiful and perfect goddess!

We'll see how "perfect" she is once I start my blog...

Head
Hair: You can really tell that Sousou is an ojou-type from her hair. She's got blonde hair that's set in rather large curly twintails. It's somewhat more yellow in the anime, maybe. They're a bit higher than most twintails, being in the upper back corners of her head, but they do look nice. She also has smaller curls on the sides, though this is in addition to her normal sides. Her bangs aren't anything too special, but they still look fine. She does have a long bang in the middle of her face, and when turned one side seems to show up (it's hard to describe). Length-wise her curls aren't too long, only about going to her shoulders. This doesn't mean that her hair is short though, even if it looks like it, as when she has it down it reaches about her mid back. She doesn't have it down too often though; about the only scene I could find was in a PS2 exclusive scene. As far as decorations go she uses two pink-ish ribbons at the base of each twintail. She also has two skulls as well, though only in the VN. Overall I like her interesting hair style, it fits her well (though I do like the skull decorations).
Grade: B+

Eyes: Sousou has dark blue eyes. They don't look too bad, fitting with her outfit's color. They also have a soft shape, working well with the art style though she also has a tsurime showing her dominant personality.
Grade: B

Face: Sousou's face isn't too different from most Koihime Musou girls. She has a soft but beautiful face, at least for my tastes. Her nose is somewhat medium-sized, but only from certain angles as it isn't too noticeable. The VN version is especially small. She also seems to have soft cheeks, though they aren't as rounded as I could like. Still nice though, as a whole I like the puni-style artstyle.
Grade: A-

Body
Build: Unfortunately we don't have any sort of official measurements for Sousou, not even height! Surprising for a girl from a visual novel. Overall she seems to be somewhat loli-ish, though she's probably more like an older teenager perhaps. Either way she has a slender body that's possibly pear-shaped. Her butt, while not shown too often, is fairly big for her frame and it seems she has soft-looking cheeks down here too. As fitting of a dominant girl she also has pretty nice legs and feet. I bet Jun'iku enjoyed licking them.

: How could I not adore Sousou-sama's wonderful feet <3.

: Of course, that's not the ONLY thing I have you lick, ehehehe...
Grade: B-

Breasts: Surprisingly Sousou isn't completely flat. Yes, she has SOME chest. That said, compared to some of the other girls from the series Sousou is pretty much in the "flat" grouping. Not that it's terrible, of course. I'll also mention that there's a really sexy orange-drip official image that shows off her great chest.
Grade: D+

Clothes: Sousou has a really great wardrobe, especially if you include her alternate outfits. First off is her usual outfit. It's a bit difficult to describe, but it seems to be a goth loli-inspired fancy dress. Color-wise it's blue with some fuschia around the neck and stomach. Her sleeves are also detatched and her skirt ends about mid-thigh with some white frills. She seems to have a bit of absolute territory, with blue thighhigh socks though they're ruined by her high greaves. At least her casual outfit shows them off well.

: So in other words I have Zettai Ryouiki right under my butt?

: Bet he'd enjoy it...

Of course, but continuing on it seems that her outfit changes somewhat in the sequels and shows more cleavage. She only has true detached sleeves in battle-ready form though. Her dress is also more purple rather than straight blue and her skirt is lighter. It's possible that she wears lacy black underwear under it as well. In the PS2 exclusives she also wears a maid outfit, a magical girl outfit (with striped thighhighs and a lot of ribbons), and cute pajamas. She also seems to wear a frilly bikini at one point in the VN. Another VN outfit includes a black dominatrix outfit, of sorts (without leather, but a more military-looking one with a short shirt, shorts, and a hat. Oh, and a whip). Other official art shows her in a black Chinese dress, a red bikini, and a sexy yukata. As far as the OVAs are concerned she wears a school uniform, what seems to be a Hawaiian shirt, a blue buruma gym uniform (sadly we don't see her butt in it), and a fundoshi with bandaids over her nipples. The last one is particularly notable as she uses the bandaids for modesty during a fight with Rinrin in a butt battle
Grade: A-

: Grrr... I would have won if Enshou and her minions hadn't distracted me!

: Hey, isn't your assistant "RinRin"? Why don't we have a match here to decide the victor.

: I'm Ririchiyo, nicknamed Riri, not "Rinrin".

: Sounds like Kouchuu's daughter's name.

I remember her. Though I remember her mother far more, ehehehe...

: Topaz, don't be perverted.

Does that mean that you and Sousou won't be butt-sumoing?

: NO!

Fiddlesticks! Well, let's continue with the blog then...

Mind
Personality: Sousou is a great example of a prideful, yet respectable, ojou (though not as prideful as Enshou). She's the ruler of the Gi faction and is a great military strategist. She's intelligent and calculating, but isn't too rough on her subjects. She has high, but not impossible, expectations and while she's rough when needed usually her commands are so efficient that she doesn't have a problem. She's extremely noble and plans on unifying China for the sake of peace. However, as she relies on force she's seen as evil from people outside her faction. I've heard that she is a bit crueler in the manga but that's just second hand (sadly the manga hasn't been translated). All in all she's a great leader and is honorable and kind. The term "himedere", which is similar to "tsundere" but with a more royal charm, fits Sousou well.
Sousou does have some problems with guys and has a rough view on the male lead in the VN (luckily in the anime she doesn't show that). As far as other talents go she's quick to pick them up. Things she's done include: cooking (which is a relief considering how often girls are "flawed" by making them unable to cook), liqeur distilling, songwriting, and costume designing. As far as battle goes I can't say (I'm bad at VNs and I couldn't find any CGs of her fighting). She does use a scythe though, which is cool. From what I hear she's so accurate that she swung at Jun'iku as a test of loyalty and cuts off just a single hair. She's also a great all-around character on the five abilities in her profile. She maxes out on Leadership, Intelligence, Politics, and Charm, and only slightly misses out on Combat Power by one point.
Yukie Maeda voices Sousou, giving her a really nice voice. I find it fitting that she also does Mafuyu which is another blonde lolidom (with problems).
Grade: B+

Libido: Sousou is pretty good here, with a notable problem. If you've seen the anime or most of the game you'll know that Sousou is more into girls. In fact she wants Kan'u for her beauty as well as her combat strength. She even says one of her goals for conquest is to gain more beautiful girls for her harem. She's also dominant which works PERFECTLY with her. She has a few sexy images with Kan'u as well, not to mention being in bed with her in the anime. As far as other girls go, she plays with Jun'iku in a master/slave relationship. I feel somewhat bad for Jun'iku because she seems to have a running joke where Sousou will pick on her, not intentionally though. Sousou will also have sexual interations with the other Kako sisters it seems, with Kakouton being the lucky one there as she gets a near-facesitting. Oddly enough I'm not sure if she has "fun" with Kan'u in the VN or not. Overall she's a great sadist and does a lot of great lolidom work.
However, the notable problem occurs exclusively in the games. Through plot events (AKA defeating her) Sousou loses her status and becomes the guy's subject (probably to protect her from other enemies). And yes, that means that she becomes somewhat submissive. YOU DON'T DO THAT WITH DOMMY GIRLS! It always sucks to hear a great dominant girl become submissive. *drawn out sigh*. Not only that, but she begins to have a complex about her small chest thanks to his preference for larger ones, boo! She'll also get angry when she isn't able to express things but still expects him to understand her. In other words, the guy ruins Sousou! And I don't mean that he takes her virginity (though he does that too).
Anyway, I should talk about some of the things Sousou does. Koihime was an eroge, after all. From what I can tell she engages in standing sex, doggystyle (sadly maybe with bondage. DUMB), both regular and shared fellatio with Jun'iku (though the guy looks way too huge in the latter), cunnilingus, and foot-licking. The last two are done TO her, though. The anime even keeps some of the foot-licking, though sadly not much. She also mounts Jun'iku's back while she's riding the male lead for an interesting three-way. Overall not too impressive but as an Eroge girl she still gets an average-ish score. I just wish she was more dominant.
Grade: C+

Age: Sousou seems to be a young adult in either her high teens or twenties, though her actual age is unknown. I'll assume that she's over 18 as certain sites that block underage eroges don't block Koihime Musou (though that's more surprising for Rinrin or Koumei). From my VERY minor research into the actual Three Kingdoms Cao Cao was 29 when the events start. I can't say that's an accurate age for Sousou though, and without further information this is the best score I can give her.
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 71
Average score: 7.8
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for the week.

: Hmmm, so it seems that I got higher than Katja.

By a small amount. It's mainly due to your outfits being more interesting in my eyes.

: Don't forget her age either.

Well, that's mostly negated by her poor libido. It's really a shame when girls don't hold up their dominance.

: True, and I imagine that if Katja would butt-battle she'd get more points too.

I'll tell Zettai! But now that your blog is done can you tell me where Kan'u went?

: She's not here, as you can see. I've heard that she went to Japan on business. You must have just missed her.

Aww man! How am I going to find here now?

: It's dangerous to go alone, take this!

*Sousou hands Topaz a long wooden stick. He looks it over.*

A Ruler?

: Yes... I'm sure that's an accurate hint as to where I'm sending you.

I don't get it.

: It's simple, Topaz. Now you can figure out the lengths of things easily!

I can tell what game you were playing with Chiaki to help you through your... troubles.

: Yeah, we beat both that, Breath of Fire, and a few others she suggested.

Sounds like you had a lot of fun.

: I did, it really helped out playing all the classic games. Of course, I'm glad to be back.

Good to have you back. And I'll be glad when you readers return next week too!

*Topaz and Riri leave, but minutes after they leave Kan'u walks out from a back room.*

: I don't know why you had me cleaning the backrooms for so long.

: They needed it. Or are you going to talk back to me?

: *Sigh* No... But it was like you wanted me to avoid the company...

: N-nonsense! Sousou is a wise leader and wouldn't lie to you!

: That's right. You're all mine, but since you've been cleaning how about we all go into the bath together?

: Me too?

: I guess.

*The three head to the hot springs to have amazing yuri fun.*
Posted by emperortopaz | 04-16-15, 10:25 AM | 0 comments
April 9th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-thirty-second week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

==Notice: For this blog the part of Ririchiyo Shirakiin will be played by Kimiko Topaz==

: Hey, what did I tell you about using my full name.

We can't help it. Ririchiyo had... unfortunate business... to attend to.

: Oh, yes. And Rika is busy babysitting that one Puchidol. I guess that this will have to do.

Glad to hear you're on board. Now, let's get going!

*A world map is shown, with Topaz and Ririchiyo's faces above a Mario Paint-looking plane. It travels from Russia to Spain, with a dotted map behind them. The blog begins with Topaz and "Ririchiyo" arriving at a particular house. They knock and a doll-like loli opens the door.*

: *Pant pant* I just got back. Er, I mean, welcome Topaz and- who's this?

: I'm Ririchiyo!

: ...No, you're not. Chiaki has told me about Ririchiyo and you don't fit that description at all!

Didn't you read the beginning? Topaz here is helping me out as Ririchiyo had... other obligations...

: What do you.. OH! I know what you mean. Sorry to hear that.

: Don't worry though, I have a wig! And I don't mean Hinagiku either. Let me just put it on...

*Kimiko puts on the wig.*

: And voila! I look like Ririchiyo!

Or at least a reasonable replacement.

: Good job though, but unfortunately this means that the puppet joke you had planned won't work. And I spent all that time making them...

Don't worry, you can still do that.

: Wait... what puppet joke?

*Ignoring Kimiko Katja allows the two walk into Zettai's house.*

I see he's still in the Endless Cross School then.

: Nope, I locked him in his room after barring the doors and windows and farting uncontrollably into it.

Well, at least he's enjoying himself...

: That was meant to be a joke, numbskull. He's still at the school.

Considering what Zettai is like and Cattleya's plans last week I could believe it.

*Kimiko is finally irritated at the two ignoring her.*

: HEY! What is this dumb puppet joke? Don't leave me out of your plans!

: Hmmm? Do you really want to know? *perverse grin.*

: Yes, of course!

*Katja rips Kimiko's shirt open, exposing her bra. Since she's mostly flat her chest isn't showing.*

: Er, what are you doing?

: Having a... "meal".

: What do you mea-

*The screen turns black.*

: KYAAAH!

: Mmmmmph!

*The screen turns back, but instead of normal it appears to be a puppet theater. A super deformed Ririchiyo puppet and Katja puppet appear from below.*

: Give me your Soma!

*The Katja's puppet's wide mouth opens to Katja's sentence. The puppet then attacks the Ririchiyo puppet, fitting the whole tiny torso in its mouth.*

: *Slurp slurp*

: A-Ah~ C-careful, I'm really... Sensitive... Ah~!

*Sucking noises.*

: Oh? You're sensitive? Well then, I'd better not touch you in the wrong spots... like THIS!

*Squishy sound effect.*

: AH!

: Or THIS!

*Another squishy sound effect.*

: OH YES!

: Or HERE!

*More suckling and such.*

: HOLY GLASSES, that feels good! R-really. I'm not joking. P-please.. don't.. m-my chest is sensitive...

: Well then, I'd better extract the Soma QUICKLY!

*more sucking noises.*

: OH HOLY MEGANE GODDESS! AH!~

*The screen returns to normal, with Katja wiping her mouth with a tissue, Topaz putting puppets away, and Topaz in a disheveled Ririchiyo wig panting as she buttons her shirt on.*

: Wow, and I thought that the Satori sisters were dominant!

Topaz, your wig.

*She adjusts it.*

: My bad for that. Anyway, isn't it about time to start your blog?

That it is-UMPH!

*Topaz gets hip attacked by Katja, who sits on his face and ties his arms behind his back.*

: Fool! You knew I wasn't going to let you blog me that easily. Plus now with Soma I can use my abilities!

MMPH!

: Heh, you remind me of Zettai. Though I did have to put on my odor-hiding underwear on. You should be grateful.

: Oh believe us, we're both glad. And I'm sure Zettai likes how you didn't have to wash up for this blog so you'll remain smelly for him.

: True, plus I'll keep all of my "extra smells" for him too. I'm just glad that he allowed me to do a few simple domination things with you two today.

MMPHPHHH-PHHMPH!!

: Alright then, I'll sit on your back since you can't do the blog while I'm sitting on your face.

: I'm surprised that you were able to understand him.

: I'm used to muffled talking against my bum.

*Katja flips Topaz on his stomach and sits on his back.*

: Now slave, go ahead and show how much you love me!

A-anything Katja-sama! And as you viewers can tell...



You don't mind if I call you "Katja", right?

: Of course not.

: Somehow I'm not surprised that Topaz found the image where she's wearing the closest thing to glasses. Of course, I'm not complaining,...

Head
Hair: Katja has very beautiful blonde hair. From what I hear it might be yellow-er in the manga, but since I haven't read that I can't be too sure. Still, it at least fits a Russian loli more than most other randomly blonde girls. I guess her hair might be considered light brown, but either way it's fine. She usually has her hair up in long twintails with long holders on them, though in the second season she usually hs ringlets and ojou curls instead. The bottom seems to puff out a bit, though as we see when her hair is down it's wavy. She often also wears a frilly hairband though it doesn't alter her bangs in the slightest. Speaking of her bangs, they're overall not too special, having a long part in front and somewhat ear-covering sides, but sadly she doesn't have a hime cut. She also has occasional changes,like the side-twintail in one of the specials I think, but that doesn't happen too much. Her hair is pretty cute and overall nice, but as a downside they use it as censorship too much in the first season.
Grade: B+

Eyes: The shape of Katja's eyes are occasionally a gentle tarame, especially if she's faking being "cutesy". I like her other version more though, a beautiful and slanted tsurime. It just looks so dominant and fitting, though I do like the differences between the two "personalities". Her eyes are also somehat deep-looking and are usually half-closed in a grand fashion. Really, her eyes look really attractive like this! Color-wise her eyes are mostly blue though they seem to have some green in the manga art. About the only problem I see is that she's lacking glasses. Sure, there's the super heroine mask that looks like a masqurade but that doesn't count (even if it's cool).
Grade: B

Face: Something Zettai doesn't grade! Overall Katja is really cute and doll-like, though I mean that in the best possible way. To specify, I like how smooth yet precious her skin looks rather than saying it looks plastic-like or something. I'm not the best judge, but from the manga art I've seen I think I like the anime Katja more (then again I've heard that the first volume has an odd art style anyway). Anyway, she has somewhat small features, though certain angles do make her nose more apparent (It's sort of like Sasha last week). That doesn't mean she's not gorgeous though. I also love both her cute and dommy faces, in general she's a great girl!
Grade: A-

: Seems like this week's chair must be be the one Zettai keeps talking about. Well then, let me unsheath THESE!

*Katja reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pair of thick framed red glasses. She then puts them on.*

BEAUTIFUL!

: GORGEOUS!

: Hah, you minions are so easy to satisfy... Now, continue the blog but lick my feet too!

Of course! Er, I'll lick first since I need my mouth to write.

*Topaz licks and kisses the meganekko Katja's feet. Afterward he continues the blog.*



Body
Build: Katja's body is attractive even to a guy like me. It's small and doll-like, a beautiful loli body. Her measurements, via Queen's Gate, say that she's 136 cm tall and her three sizes are 65/45/70. I'm not sure how accurate that is though. I approve of her big hips though, especially as it mans her butt is shown off well. At least in the specials or second season as said the first tends to censor her. Katja did have a great buttshot in the second ED, even if it looks like it's "breathing", but in general her butt is amazing! Let's not forget the times she uses a girl as a horse as that's really sexy too! In general the show does curves well, and while Katja is a loli it still means that her thighs, waist, and butt are all delicious-looking. Even her feet are well-shaped, fitting for a dominant loli. She's not my ideal, even as a loli, as she's missing a certain "something", like an extra push, but she's certainly a great girl.
Grade: B

: Note: the certain "something" Topaz mentioned is likely a hime cut.

I won't deny that a hime cut would help, but that's not quite it.

: I bet Zettai would like if I "breathed" on him with my butt. ufufu...

Breasts: Katja is flat, as a girl her age really should be. I'm not even sure if she can produce soma, being a qwaser. Still, despite not getting a good score here I will say that her chest is still beautiful, like the rest of her.
Grade: D

Clothes: Katja has a GREAT wardrobe. Most of the time she wears a great black gothloli dress with detatched sleeves and high socks. I'm not a fan of the sleeves or the fact that the skirt part is loose (it should be skintight to show off her butt), but as a whole the outfit is great. I find it funny that she has Zettai Ryouiki of all things xD. Under it she seems to wear erotic underwear, which fits her personality well. She also wears other gothloli at times, in particular a cute white version, but I like the black more. She also wears a school swimsuit and looks great in it (fitting considering she's a loli). She also wears a white leotard with gloves and thigh-high boots in her super heroine episoe. In the virtual world of the second season she wears a pink leotard that shows off her body as well. Finally, we can't forget her dominatrix outfit, both red and black varieties. I'm not too big on the latter, but otherwise her outfits are a great mix of cute and sexy!
Grade: B

: Zettai wanted me to remind you about Fumika.

: Fumika?

Oh, that's referring back to Sasha's blog last week. I said that he had a harem of busty older girls, but I forgot that Fumika the DFC KanaHana also liked him. Since Fumika has a complex I wanted to apologize for that mistake and hopefully she's not singing her favorite "song" in B♭.

: Your readers won't get that joke, so I'll explain that the "♭" is a flat so he's making a chest joke.

: Hey, don't explain it so soon. Jokes are like frogs; once you dissect them only weirdos laugh!

Hey, I like them! Explained jokes, not open frogs.

: I would hope not. But enough wasting time, get on with the blog!

*Katja dominantly slaps Topaz.*



Mind
Personality: The most obvious feature of Katja is her dominance. However, that's more for the next area, even if it defines her well. She does have a fake "cutesy" personality in public, especially around those that she wants something from. The separation between public and private is VERY nice, especially with her appearance. She also talks in the third person in this version. She also seeks to control others, but also have them respect them so she eventually turns down the villain's deal to have her become queen of the world. I'll also mention that she's Russian and may have ties to the royal family, but I don't thing that part is talked about in the anime. Katja is voiced by Aya Hirano who does a GREAT job with the two personalities as well, it's one of her finer roles.
As far as battle goes, Katja is a great fighter. Well, technically her female robot "Anastasia" is the fighter, but as Katja is the one controlling her I'd say that she is still a good fighter. Sort of fitting that the dommy girl is also a puppetmaster, I guess. It is odd that she calls it her "mother" though. Anyway Katja is the qwaser of copper. This means, in addition to clearing out the "Take a penny, leave a penny" trays she has the ability to control the element of "Copper" (and no, the coin part is just a joke xD). As an example she's able to manipulate electricity due to that being a common use of copper.
About the only problem with Katja is that her libido tends to overwhelm this part. It was somewhat hard to find enough information to write about and keeping it separate. Then again, it's not much of a problem as Katja still is easily the best girl in the show (though I do like a few girls for their body, Katja is still great).
Grade: B+

Libido: If you can't tell that Katja is dominant I think you need your eyes checked (or to pay more attention). She's one of the greatest sadists in anime (I'd add "female" but that should be given as there's no good male sadists xD). She is a lesbian though, suckling girl's breasts for soma, which is their version of MP.

: I'm sure that Riri would mention that her MP must be high with all the "Soma Drops".

That's because she has good taste in games.

: Unless she played The After Years, of course. But don't get distracted, continue talking about me!

Of course! Anyway, Katja's main girl, or "Maria" in this case, is Hana. I'm not too fond of Hana and her masochism is played up too much in the anime (I'd rather see more of Katja's sadism), but that's a common result these days unfortunately. Anyway, they're together most of the time and Hana is heartbroken when Katja has to go on a separate mission. Luckily they get back together and Katja even has a small harem in the second season with Hana, the blonde Ayame, and the meganekko Lulu. Katja is a great dominant girl, a fact that's played up in the first season specials (the second season ones weren't as good). There is an exception where you the viewer attack her in the last one, but that's because it's the last one and you don't want to see her go. She is a great dommy girl and anime needs more girls like her.
That said, I do have a few problems. However, the problems are all because she's a GOOD dom. Far to good for my tastes, so a few things she does bother me. I don't mind things like kissing her feet or being sat on, that's easy. But Katja does things like force Ayame to go wee on a heartfelt letter she wrote, embarrass Hana by opening doors to show people how humiliated and perverse she is, making Hana wet herself, and finally she has Hana perform cunnilingus on her. That said, while this is a problem Katja's other moments more than make up for these small extremes.
Grade: A-

Age: I've heard differing opinions on her age, which is unknown. She does seem to be disguised as a second-year elementary student and doesn't look out of place. I've heard that she's between 10 and 11, which means she doesn't get that high of a grade here (even if she seems much more mature sometimes).
Grade: C-

Total Grades: 68
Average score: 7.6
Final Grade: B

: THAT's the score you gave me? It's a lot lower than Zettai's!

To be fair I'm sure there's a reason you're his assistant and not mine. But it's not like I dislike you either. You still got higher than Sasha, for example.

: That doesn't mean much, or are you trying to say that you like him more than me?

No mistress, I-ergk!

*Katja squeezes her thighs around Topaz's neck.*

: Did I SAY you could talk to me? Now are you going to behave or not?

*Topaz can't talk so he nods his head. Katja releases him.*

: THERE, was that so hard?

: I'm sure that something of his is...

: Oh? Like you have a place to talk, Ms. Sensitive-breasts...

: Errr..

*Katja gets off Topaz's back, allowing him to get up since the beginning of the blog.*

Well, I guess that's it for this week's blog and-

*BWWEEEP BWEEEP BWEEEP!*

-That's an unusual sound...

: KATJA!

: It's not me, you idiot! I'm saving my gas for Zettai, and even then I wouldn't make something so robotic. No, it sounds like it's coming from Topaz!

Coming from me? But... That means that...

*Topaz looks at his left arm. Indeed, one of the gems on the Savior Saver is flashing.*

A-are you one of the saviors I was told to look for?

: No clue, it's not like we've met before.

: I heard about this! Seems she defended Zettai's house from Hayate's troop. Okay, so he was out blogging at the time, but still!

That means that the other girls must have been the ones to defeat Shamal or Vita. Who saved you, Topaz?

: Er, I'm not sure. There were a lot of people who showed up. I do remember Rika mentioning that Kan'u showed up, perhaps that's where we should go next.

: "Kan'u"? I've heard that name before. Oh, I got it! I'm pen-pals with a Chinese girl who is also a blonde twintail yuri lolidom that's in love with a girl with that name. Well, sort-of loli. You should go there and visit. Take this with you too.

What is this?

*Katja hands them the button that alerts the girls that Topaz is in trouble.*

: Not sure, but that drunk loli left it here after Akame's blog.

: So THAT'S why we didn't know that Topaz was in trouble with the magical girls and idols!

: Good. But I'm keeping the box Ririchiyo gave me. Now, don't forget to visit that one girl either!

Sounds like we have a plan for next time, right Ririchiyo?

: Huh? Er, right! Though I'm sure that the real Riri will be back by then.
Posted by emperortopaz | 04-09-15, 9:14 AM | 0 comments
April 2nd, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-thirty-first week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz wakes up in an unfamiliar bed.*

Where am I?

???: Harumph. All that work to save you and not even a word of thanks? Then again I really shouldn't be surprised. You look so weak that I bet you get saved all the time.

Well, I am, but usually it's by girls.

*Topaz shakes his head and gets a clear vision. With it he's able to identify his caretaker.*

But I guess there's always exceptions like this. Isn't that right SASHA?

: Who told you you're able to call me that!

*Sasha uses his qwaser powers on a nearby pole to create a scythe. He then holds the blade at Topaz's neck. He swallows.*

W-well, er, let's say that I heard about you from a friend. And, as thanks, I want to blog about you!

*Sasha lowers his blade and returns it to normal.*

: I've heard about this "blog" thing before. From what I heard Katja was able to get a lot of soma through that method.

I don't think that's a proper side effect and instead just Katja helping herself to a meal or two without Zettai's permission... Also I'm jealous, of course.

: In that case, I order you to do me next!

EEEHHH?!

: I meant the blog. What were you thinking of?

W-well... Nevermind, it's not important. I was just surprised that you ordered a blog done on you. I don't recall any other characters, especially traps like you, being that forward.

: If it's a means to more power, I'd do anything!

In that case, it seems that...



As a note I'll be calling him “Sasha”-

: Despite my objections.

-Right. Because I'm lazy, was what I was going to say.

: Be glad I don't want to flay you alive. That would be a waste considering how much effort it took to drag you here. Be grateful!

Sounds like laziness is contagious, but enough delays. Time to begin the blog!

Head
Hair: Sasha has pretty short hair, at least most of the time. Or at least it appears to be as he does have a somewhat-long braid, but it's possible for that to be part of his earring. The rest ends above his shoulders at the longest. Most of the time his hair is neatly combed in a sort-of bob cut. It does look pretty nice. It gets ruined when he goes into battle though, with his hair seeming to get brushed to the left for some reason. Typical Shounen hero hair-change, I guess. Occasionally Sasha also gets a red streak in his hair, above his left eye, when in battle, but considering what his power is I hope it's not blood. Oh, and before I forget he usually has white hair (though with a minor blue/grey tint), a pretty color considering it's lighter than I normally enjoy.
When infiltrating the girl's school in the second season Sasha wears a wig. It's instantly better by being longer, going all the to “her” shoulder blades. The sides also provide a lot more framing, reaching “her” chest and covering the ears. It also looks fluffy too and has fuller bangs in general. Overall I like this version, but his hair could still be better.
Grade: C+

Eyes: This is the biggest problem I have with Sasha. Well, I guess there's the whole “But he's a guy” deal which causes his chest score to suffer, but from a personal view this is his worst area. Now, Sasha's eyes are pretty nice in general. He's got a nice tsurime (especially as a girl, for some reason) and has a nice, if slightly realistically-sized, shape. His eyes are also green, which I don't have a problem with. However, when in battle his left eye turns RED. And it's the kind of red I don't like either. It even glows, as if he were some sort of reindeer! His pupil is also somewhat obscured as well. Now, the main problem I have is that this IS blood. I'm not a fan of blood OR eye injuries so I'm fairly squeamish whenever he goes this far into combat. He also seems to bleed from a former injury, making a small pool of blood from the corner of his eye which then crosses down to about his chin and over his nose. I really dislike this change, if you can't tell, and it causes his “eye” score to suffer.
Grade: C

Face: Sasha's large scar hurts him here, but rather than discuss that again I'll talk about some of his positives. Well, sort of positives. He has somewhat feminine features and looks fine in women's clothes. Though I do much prefer the second season version of that, but I digress. He has a fair sized nose, unfortunately, but I guess this is a somewhat more realistic show (well, as far as faces go I mean). He often looks disinterested which fits his personality. For a joke he does get bony when he's forced to refrain from “feeding” in the second season which I didn't enjoy. Oh, and I guess that he gets a beauty mark under his right eye in his second-season disguise. He also has somewhat pale skin, though another character appeals to that better. Overall I'm not all that impressed.
Grade: C+

*A girl enters the room.*

: Are you alright, Sasha? And the one you brought in?

: Yeah, we're fine. We were just talking about me for some dumb blog. I'm just trying to be as strong as Katja.

: I see... what is a blog?

I just talk about Sasha a lot.

*Teresa's hair-ears wiggle.*

Would you like to listen?

: Only if I won't be intruding.

: Nonsense, I can't do anything if my Maria isn't here.

Well, as long as you won't be consuming Soma we should be good.

: And why NOT? It's a natural thing!

I just prefer to keep my blogs more PG-13 or so.

: Understood.

: *sigh* Well then, you'd better hurry your blog up. I'm getting hungry here!



Body
Build: Surprisingly Sasha has a more masculine figure than most of the other traps I've done. No, really. His shoulders are somewhat broad and he even has arm and chest muscle! Okay, so he's still short (shorter than most of the cast excluding the token lolis) and isn't TOO masculine. There's a reason he can still disguise himself as a girl, after all. He also lacks nipples, I think (as a guy, at least). His stomach does show that he's fit though, which works as he's fairly strong. He shows his less-than-savory side in a certain pose during certain EDs as well, though as a whole I'm not attracted to his male version. His female side is a bit nicer to look at (as there's a virtual world he's more “genderswapped” in), with a curvier body and legs. Still though I'm not too attracted to him.
Grade: C

Breasts: Sasha isn't anything special in male form, obviously. And as said before I think he even lacks nipples. In the second season he seems to use a stuffed bra to appear busty, though I imagine it's more to improve the disguise than for any sort of breast-conscious action. Now, his chest IS really good when genderswapped. It bounces and acts like the other girls, overall really nice. He even gets his nipples suckled at one point (though to be fair most female nipples in the series DO become suckled so it's not surprising for him). Fortunately the villain that did it wasn't able to sense his lack of soma in that form. Of course I can't judge Sasha based on video game breasts so he gets a pretty poor score here (slightly bumped by some fun actions).
Grade: D+

Clothes: Sasha at least has a cool wardrobe. His usual out fit is a sleeveless black hooded shirt with matching pants. The front of the shirt has a red cross and is zipped in the front. He also wears black boots and gloves. As said it's a “cool” outfit, as if he was a chuunibyou or something. This is especially apparent when he wears a cloak, like in his first appearance. As underwear, I think, he wears black shorts. He also wears a red bunny outfit in the first season as well as a pink yukata and a white groom suit later on. In one of the EDs he seems to wear a maid-ish dress with a bonnet and high socks. He also wears red-striped girls underwear at one point as part of the disguise. As a “girl” he's mainly seen in two outfits. The genderswapped version is a black one piece swimsuit-ish leotard with a bunch of triangles down the front (showing cleavage, of course). He also has long gloves that nearly go to his shoulders and high socks, both matching in color and diamond-like design. But my favorite outfit is the “trap” version from the second season. The school uniform he wears is one of the more reserved versions I've seen, with a long black dress that reaches his ankles with another white skirt underneath and sleeves that cover all the way up to the sleeves. There are white cuffs though, so I'll guess that there's some separation between the sleeves and the black gloves. The outfit also has a partial neck-area and I like the slightly lighter collar/tabard thing on his chest and back. Overall while it could be better this is probably one of my favorite school uniforms (mostly for being black, though).
Grade: B

*A cold figure all bundled up soon comes through the door. As she removes the heavy coat and scarf it's revealed to be Riri.*

: Who are you? ANOTHER person to come and eat my borscht?

: ...another traveler...

Ririchiyo! What are you doing here? And how did you get here so fast?

: I'm here to protect you! And the second question doesn't matter.

Fair enough.

: Wait, so you know this Ririchiyo then?

Right, she's my assistant.

*Sasha looks Riri up and down.*

: Really? She doesn't look very soma-filled...

: Poor girl.

: Hey, I bet this "soma" whatever I have is very delicious and- *Topaz whispers in her ear* REALLY? Man, and I thought DxD was mamocentric!

We're not in that sort of relationship. She's not my Maria but rather my assistant.

: I'm still confused, but I'm guessing she's still an ally.

: That's right! So Topaz, what have you been up to while you were gone?

I was doing this week's blog!

: Er, any other week I'd say that it was the kuudere girl with the nice voice. But, being what week it is, I'm to guess it's this young shota or something?

: I gave him permission so I'll be as strong as Katja.

: Well, to be able to do that you'd have to be Topaz's assistant, and that position is already filled.

: A shame, I suppose. However, don't think that you can get out of continuing my blog Topaz.

Of course, we still have one last area for you!



Mind
Personality: Sasha comes off as rude and uncaring, but he does slowly warm up to the main girls. He's somewhat caring to them as well. I've heard that he's a tsundere, but if anything he's more of a kuudere due to being cold more than aloof. He's still pretty rash or blunt though, but that may be his age as well. His weakness is also borscht, a Russian dish as he's from Russia. Speaking of which he does occasionally talk in Russian and I'm assuming that it's a pretty good version (I'm not sure). Sasha is voiced by Yuuko Sanpei who I'm not too familiar with, but she does a good job with his low and somewhat-emotionless voice pattern. She also seems to do a lot of shotas, which is fitting.
Sasha was drafted into the Qwasers and was a more quiet kid back then. He befriended an “older sister” named Olja but had to witness her murder by the Qwaser of Gold. Since I haven't explained it, Qwaser can control an element. No, not like Earth or Wind, but rather from the periodic table of elements. Fortunately that doesn't mean that they fling Titanium Elementals at each other (yet). Their powers are powered by soma, which is stored in women's bodies and must be removed through breastfeeding. And yet the author doesn't realize that's why the series gets a lot of readers (from what I recall). Anyway, getting back to Sasha he has the ability of Iron. It's useful as there's often iron around and, if not and it's an emergency, he can also use blood to attack with. I'm not a big fan of those parts though it explains his hair streak and eye and why I don't like them. As far as battle goes he usually creates a nearby metal surface into a scythe to attack with; he's not usually the creative type though. He is now searching around for heratic Qwasers that abuse their powers. Also, before I forget, there's a part in the first season where he loses his memory and acts more like a girl. This gets stretched out for a full episode, a lot longer than the manga (in fact it may be anime-exclusive. I'm not sure as I haven't read the manga). I like how Katja and Miyuri acted like a superhero team with him.
Grade: B-

Libido: Sasha really likes boobs. He even often fondles or tries to suckle a new girl during introductions. Then again he's not doing this for perverse reasons. Instead he's trying to check the relative strength of the girl's soma. And, at least until Mafuyu, that's all he treated women as. He's since become better I think but I can't be too sure. Mafuyu and Sasha do have a relationship, if a bitter and fight-filled one. Both are tsunderes, or similar, after all. He also seems to have a lot of feelings for Teresa, his original Maria, though we don't see much of her in the second season. I'm pretty sure that he also liked Olja though as said before she's dead, but she's still the reason he decided to protect Tomo as she reminds him of his former “older sister”. There's also other characters like the teacher that pins him down and probably other characters, but Mafuyu is the established girl for him. Then again I wouldn't mind Sasha having a harem of busty older girls, heh heh heh.

: Stop being a perverse jealous shotacom!

But that's where my fun comes from! But, as Riri sort of mentioned I do have a problem that you might have noticed. It's not that Sasha doesn't make for a good girl, but it's very hard to see him as a “girl”. Even in the genderswapped virtual world he acts masculine. That doesn't necessarily mean he's in charge all the time but he is definitely a “male”. This made him a bit hard to grade as you can tell, but I wouldn't say no to a crossdressing shota that suckles the breasts of busty oneesans...

: What did I just say?

Fine.... Then I'll finish up the blog then.
Grade: B

Age: While Sasha seems older than it (especially with some of his perverse behavior) he's only thirteen. While I do like middle school boys they still don't score well in this system.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 53
Average score: 5.9
Final Grade: C+

: Harumph. What a pathetic score. But I'm not a girl so it would figure that using that “blog” style, whatever it is, wouldn't work well.

You'd be surprised at how accurate it could be. Then again I much prefer the real girls in your show which isn't too surprising.

: Topaz said “something something Tomo naked apron” to me once. I don't know, I tend to tune him out when he discusses ecchi shows. (I-I don't want the pervy girls to steal him away from me...).

Exactly! But now that the blog is gone I have to go and find the saviors.

: Oh, you found that one joke item then?

That I did, though I thought I showed you last week.

: You got warped away so quickly that I wasn't able to notice!

: A-HEM. If you're looking for powerful fighters I would suggest this one that I once worked with. From what I hear she's working as an assistant too, though in some backwater country for gaming.

: ...Or that's what the notes she sends complains about...

: True, and seems she found a GUY to hang around with. That's really surprising.

Sounds like a good plan. Let's go, Riri!

: Back into the cold just to travel to the next girl's blog. *Sigh* Hopefully you realize how much I l-like you to follow you so much.

Of course!

*Ririchiyo's heart beats faster.*

Now, let's head forward! DOM DOM DOM!

: Don't you mean “Dun dun dun”?

No.

*Topaz gets a wide smile as they leave.*
Posted by emperortopaz | 04-02-15, 10:01 AM | 0 comments
March 26th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-thirtieth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

==Previously==


Welcome back everyone. We're still currently trapped on this island, but it seems I've found the mastermind behind this plot.

: Well, I wasn't planning on you being here. I only brought Iori to have fun on this island with someone.

: She always takes me out on trips like this. *sigh*

: But it was my birthday yesterday!

: Uun!

*Yayoi is wearing a birthday hat and Yayo blows on one of those unraveling blower-type toys.*

: That was a coincidence! N-not that I don't care about your birthday. I just happened to pick up some party supplies. Hrph!

Tsundere as always, Iori. But enough about Yayoi, it's time to talk about Yayoi!

: Wait-what?

I mean that we need to finish up your birthday celebration and get on with your blog.

: That's fine. I might as well allow you to do that while we're finishing up the cleaning. Don't forget that I'll battle you later in card games!

On motorcycles?

: Sadly no.

That's for the best I guess, I can't actually drive. But enough about that, time to begin the blog!

Today's girl is:



Yayoi Takatsuki
from
The iDOLM@STER


...Why do you have Oni horns, Iori?

: Because I'm an evil Rook boss, mwahaha!

: Actually I'm pretty sure those are bamboo shoots.

I do guess it's actually spring now-wait, that still doesn't make sense! Ah, oh well. I might as well get to the blog...

Head
Hair: Yayoi's main feature are probably her twintails. They're somewhat wavy, looking almost drill-like at times (but not quite). I'm not sure if she ever has them down, sadly I can't remember if she did. She does have nice hime cut bangs, at least in the series proper (I'm not sure what to make of the mess in Xenoglossia, but that's far from her biggest problem in that series). Yayoi's sides are also cute, reaching past her chin. Overall not too bad, but I'm not big on twintails. Color wise I'm not too much of a fan either. Yayoi's hair seems to be orange or red, the latter especially in Xenoglossia. However, it also seems to be brown as well at times which is a color I'm more accepting of.
Yayoi's Puchidol Yayo has some interesting hair moments. There's one part when she gets stuck to Hibiki's Puchidol Chibiki because their long hair gets tangled together, as an example. This is because Yayo has two types of seasonal changes. In winter her hair grows extremely bushy and poofy, making her look really cute, while in spring she grows a replicating bamboo shoot out of her head.
Grade: B-

Eyes: Yayoi's eyes are tarame, fitting her personality well. Her eyes are also green (with a bit of blue). I don't mind it too much, but I do have a problem. She looks a lot like Haruka eye-wise. Okay, so Haruka has greener eyes while Yayoi's are more blue, but you can probably get what I mean.
Grade: B-

Face: The problem with doing a month-long special of girls from the same series gets problematic as there's not much I can say here. Yayoi really doesn't have too much that sets her apart from the past girls this month face-wise. Well, I do guess that Yayoi does occasionally have a cat-like :3 smile at times, but other than that there's not much that I haven't said in the previous few blogs.
Grade: B

Body
Build: Yayoi has a loli body. She's 145 cm tall and 37 kg and her measurements are 74-54-78. The only change between games is that her hips were once 77 cm, so go her butt getting bigger. She fits the “average teen girl” body type so I'm not too interested in it. There's really nothing too big about her appearance that interests me. I will mention that in Dearly Stars it's said that she has a lot of endurance and it's said that she could dance on stage for hours without a break. Of course, that's her actual measurements but Xenoglossia had... other plans. You see, in that series she's instead 154 cm and 44 kg. But that's not the only thing that grew, oh no... Her measurements became 87-56-82. This of course means that she went from a girl with a larger hip measurement to one with a very busty measurement. I'll discuss this in the next part, but you can already see it's dumb.
Grade: C

Breasts: At 74 cm Yayoi has one of the smallest chests in the series. Fitting I guess as she's one of the smallest girls in general, but that's going a bit too far. She's mostly flat and fits that personality type. One interesting thing is that Yayoi has what's called a “Hi-touch”, which is what she calls a high five. I bring this up here because fans seem to have combined that with the Producer getting into perverted situations and call him touching Yayoi's chest a “Pai-touch”. And, as said before, Xenoglossia really ruins Yayoi by making her one of the bustiest characters. She even ends up beating AZUSA by 1 cm! I'm not even sure what inspired the creators to do so. To compare it with another idol show, it would be like if Nozomi was smaller while Nico and Umi were the two bustiest girls. That's gross and ridiculous, as are Yayoi and Chihaya in Xenoglossia. There are just some things that shouldn't be altered, let the flat girls remain that way.
Grade: D

Clothes: Yayoi has a pretty varied wardrobe. Makes sense as she's an idol, but she does have a bit more personality than the others in this area. In the games, while she has a lot of outfits many of them looking similar even compared to the other girls. Her clothes are also often baggy or worn, showing her “poor” side. As far as the fruit costume goes, Yayoi was some sort of orange. I don't mean color, though orange is her theme color, but rather orange-the-fruit. Other outfits she's worn in the anime include a Santa costume, a frog hoodie, and an athletic outfit. Yayoi seems to like frogs as she also has a frog wallet she calls “Berochoro”. As far as cards go she seems to have a multitude of sailor uniforms (black likely being my favorite), winter wear, a wedding dress I think, a bike outfit (though sadly we can't see more of her spats butt), a baseball player, a waitress, a cowboy and southern belle-type dress, a lacy black dress that looks more like underwear, and what appears to be a Hawaiian outfit. Oh, and in Xenoglossia she seems to wear animal suits. I think her favorite is a penguin as I've seen that the most, but it's completely possible that it's RITSUKO's favorite given how much she rubs against Yayoi while she's wearing it.
Don't think I forgot about the beach episode, I just wanted to give that outfit a bit more room to speak. You see, Yayoi wears... a Sukumizu/school swimsuit. Even more than some of the busty girls this is the best swimsuit in that whole episode. Well, the busty ones DO catch my eye a bit more, but let me explain why it's so important for Yayoi to wear that sukumizu. First off is obvious, ALL lolis should wear sukumizu. The lines on it greatly compliment a loli's natural lack of curves, and Yayoi fulfills that very well. Second is the color, as blue tends to compliment orange, such as her hair. The small white name tag also makes the sukumizu look more colorful as well. Finally, and most importantly, because Yayoi is a poor girl the sukumizu compliments even THAT. As while the other girls have the finances to purchase swimsuits Yayoi would be afraid of making such a frivolous purchase. Instead she uses what she was given in school, the sukumizu. I'm probably reading too much into things, but it's a reasonable answer as to why she wore it.
Grade: B

Mind
Personality: As said multiple times before, Yayoi has financial problems. She even became an idol so that she can help pay for her family. She has four siblings meaning her family is fairly large. She also takes care of them while her parents are gone as she's the oldest. She also has a habit of searching vending machines, she occasionally asks the Producer if she can borrow money, and if she spends too much she'll become depressed and lay around for a day or two due to her regrets haunting her. In the anime she seems to be friends with a person who puts 50% stickers on her groceries. She also enjoys doing housework and cleans around the 765 Production building. I don't mind her “poor” side, it makes her cute and gives her a lot of characters.
What I don't like about Yayoi is the other side of her personality. That is, her “ALWAYS 200% GENKI!!” side. She's a lot more hyperactive than Haruka and has to be told occasionally to lower her voice as Yayoi has a tendency to yell. I'm not too big on hyper girls. She's mostly cheerful, which isn't too bad, but I don't like how depressed she became in the sports meet episode. I don't even remember why it happened, but I do know it made her perform poorly. Just know that Yayoi is around my least favorite girl from the series (though it's not like I hate her either). She's also one of the troublemakers in Puchimas, intentionally causing problems with Harukasan or kidnapping Iori to go on a trip to the standard deserted island.
There's a few more facts I want to talk about. For one, Yayoi gets poor grades as she's not the brightest girl (though she is hard-working). She enjoys sports, especially baseball as she plays it with her younger brothers. She's a big eater but she's not rude about it either; she just likes getting a big breakfast. She does seem to like bean sprouts and eats a burger with enough bean sprouts to make the burger bigger than her head or so. She's also scared of heights, including airplanes (she needs someone to put a sleeping pill in her milk, it seems xD).
Yayoi is voiced by Mayako Nigo. I am not a fan of her voice, though I've only really heard her in this role. On the other hand, if there's something Xenoglossia did right was the voice actesses. Yayoi for example Ami Koshimizu as a voice actress. She's one of my favorite voices, but this was before she really got a name for herself. Then again I wonder if this was the mix up with the chests as Ami tends to do busty older sisters so maybe they misunderstood Yayoi being an older sibling xD.
Grade: C+

Libido: Yayoi really doesn't show much libido, at least as far as the anime goes. In the games it seems she's more welcome of perverse moments and doesn't mind being touched (it even raises her tension). She also seems to touch the same-aged (or so) Iori inappropriately as well. That said she does seem to become submissive to the Producer in the games. Whether that just means as far as taking him more seriously or there's some deeper meaning I'm not sure (I only read it as I haven't played the games). She also sings a song called “Pla-sonic Love!” that shows her love at supersonic speeds, even if it's “platonic”. Fortunately that's a lot better than the first translation I saw as “Pure Sonic Love!” as that would mean that Yayoi would be headed towards the dark side of deviantart (well, ONE of the dark sides).
Grade: C

Age: Yayoi is between 13 and 14, and thus not in my preferred range. Unlike Iori she also doesn't have the bonus of being one of my favorite lolis in the franchise either. Her birthday, oddly enough, is March 25th (so yesterday).
Grade: C

Total Grades: 53
Average score: 5.9
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: I got a much better score, fitting for my natural beauty.

*Iori flicks her hair beautifully.*

: You'd better appreciate that as now that my blog is done I get to battle Topaz! Fight-o!

So what kind of battle are we going to be doing this time?

: We're going to be playing Gather The Magic!

That sounds oddly familiar, though changed due to copyrights-WAIT! That's the same game Iria challenged me to! I don't know if we can battle that way again.

: What? You've already played that game? Well, I guess there's no rules that say that I have to choose something else. Besides, Queen already gave me the money to buy cards. I can't grovel back to her!

I suppose that we can let this one time pass.

: It's not like there's a lot we can do on this island anyway.

: Right. Plus I already have an arena all set up. Powerrrr ON!

*Yayoi presses a button on the remote control. Giant stone monoliths grow out of the ground, creating a makeshift arena. Iori and the Puchidols take seats in the stands while Yayoi and Topaz sit on opposite sides of a large flat surface. They shuffle their decks, with Yayoi placing a few cards on top. Topaz doesn't notice the cheating going on. Both players draw their opening hand of seven.*

: I'll begin this time around!

And, just like last time, I'll place this in a spoiler because it'll get long maybe!



Posted by emperortopaz | 03-26-15, 9:40 AM | 0 comments
March 19th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-twenty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

==On a deserted island==

Welcome back to the blog everyone. Now, many of you may be wondering why we're here.

: I certainly wonder myself.

To back up a bit, late last month I was told to investigate the 765 Productions by Makoto. I went there and did blogs on both Chihaya and Haruka. After doing her blog Haruka challenged me to a battle, of which I don't understand how I won.

: Half of 256 is 128!

Sounds like Anzu isn't the only idol who can do complex calculations in her head! But anyway, Haruka tricked me with Miurasan and I got warped here.

: Yayoi dragged me here, if you're wondering. Sadly I can't find her.

That's odd. We're on an island so it's not like there's far for her to go. Let's go looking for her.

: Harumph. I've already looked around enough, but since I want to rub it in your face when you can't find her I'll follow you. Come along, Io.

: Moh!

*A chibi version of Iori glances from behind Iori's legs.*

Wow, I didn't even notice that Io was here too.

: She's a very shy Puchidol. But anyway, since we're going perhaps you have some entertainment planned.

Well, I could do my blog on you...

: Eh? That's it? Can you at least carry me?

If it's not on my back and I'm on all fours I don't think I can.

: WHAT? Are you calling me heavy?

No, I'm just weak and puny.

: I see then. W-well, let's just walk together while you talk about me.

*Iori places Io on her head and takes Topaz's hand.*

Uhhh?

: Don't misinterpret this! I'm just doing this so that we don't get separated. I figure you'd moan like a b-baby if we do!

Whatever you say, but since she's given me permission...

Today's girl is:



Iori Minase
from
The iDOLM@STER


Head
Hair: Iori has brown hair that goes all the way down to her waist (or so), with a mostly-straight line down her back (there is a curve by her shoulders that widens it, but it looks nice). To be fair it does look darker in Xenoglossia, nearly black, but darker hair seemed to happen to most girls in that show. She also had a headband, and while she usually has one in now it's not as noticeable. The reason for this is that, back then, it pulled her bangs back and you could see her scalp (plus two out-of-place hairs). That's the main reason I dislike hairbands, I really don't like seeing the hair line. To be fair early art has her with this hairstyle as well, but the main anime/current look it's different. She instead has a very elegant swept bang on the left, while her hair on the right is pulled back. It's really pretty and fits her ojou personality well. While she doesn't often have her bangs down she does so in the game, revealing she has a lovely hime cut (in the games at least). She does this to evade being recognized by President Kuroi. I'm not sure if she has them down in Puchimas at times, but it's possible.
Speaking of Puchimas, Iori is sometimes referred to as "forehead-chan" due to her hairband. The reason this concerns Puchimas is that her Puchidol, Io, has the ability to shoot lasers out of her forehead. Sadly both Io and Iori in general get underused in Puchimas, or at least I think that. Going back to Iori's hair, I'm not sure why I like it so much, but I definitely do. She looks like a fashion model so that could be it, but I find her hair extremely gorgeous. I'll also mention that she occasionally has it up in a ponytail for certain cards as well. This doesn't look bad, but I prefer her "natural" look.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Iori's eyes sadly aren't as good as her hair. Mostly due to the color-Iori has PINK eyes. Now, it's a bit hard to tell as it nearly looks brown like her hair (a trait I do enjoy) but her eyes are defined as "pink". Shape-wise it's fine, A-1 standards aside. In fact, she's a bit better than most of the rest of the cast as she has a strong tsurime.
Grade: B-

Face: Again we run into A-1 problems here. They aren't as bad, Iori has small features which help, but there's nothing too much that sets her apart from the other girls. Other than her forehead I suppose, but I mentioned that back in "hair". I will say that her expressions on some of the cards she's on are really expressive and cute. Another thing I should mention is that she's gotten a few "wet face" scenes, in both the main anime and even the movie.
Grade: B

Body
Build: Iori, while my favorite loli idol of the first season, is still a loli. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. They even had an episode where she (and the other loli idols) try to act more mature but fail spectacularly so I'm glad that she became more accepting of her true beauty. She starts at 150 cm and 39 kg in the first game before moving up to her current measurements of 153 cm and 40 kg. Oddly enough her measurements remained the same at 77/54/79. As you can see, her hips are slightly larger than her bust. Sadly this doesn't matter too much as Iori really doesn't get too many fanservice scenes (especially compared to the curvier girls). Oddly enough though, in the Million Live cards she shows her bare stomach on no less than five cards. I'm guessing that her belly is considered to be attractive. I can't say for sure but her navel sure is cute. I would say that she could have gotten a higher score here if she'd show something like her butt more, but Idolmaster isn't a fair series.
Grade: C-

Breasts: I'm sort of surprised that Iori has a chest measurement of 77 cm. That's even bigger than Chihaya! That said, it still doesn't give her enough chest to make a difference. Like many Riesunderes she has a flat chest.
Grade: D

Clothes: Iori has a lot of clothes! Well, you can sort of assume as she's an idol and thus I'll say my normal "she wears a lot of idol outfits", to paraphrase, but even then she has a lot of great clothes. As is tradition I have to mention her fruit costume is a peach (though sadly she never shows her peach bottom). I assume that this is because her official color is Pink so she wears a lot of it (even if Haruka is trying to move into her territory). She also has a lot of cute frilly dresses, including a wedding dress and a Cinderella ball gown (though the latter two may be card-only). At the beach she wears a frily pink and white bikini, though sadly the frills cover her butt. She also wears a white shirt during a water fight in the movie, a bad idea as it becomes see through even if she has a bra under it (though good for the audience). Speaking of the movie she wears a pretty interesting school uniform in it; a long sleeve white shirt, red necktie, and blue dress. It looks pretty nice. Her cards are extremely varied as well, containing such outfits as cat ears with tail (possibly tiger-related as a call back to Taiga), a couple belly dancer-ish outfits, a beautiful purple kimono, a Santa dress, a demoness outfit with thighhighs, a bee costume, a royal gown, a few sports outfits (mainly lacrosse), and a beautiful black detatched-sleeves dress with a great trim. She also has a few official cosplays due to her VA; first she dressed up as Alisa from the God Eater series and then, as she's Harada Katsuhiro's favorite idol, she also dressed up as Lili from his Tekken series. Both series are Namco productions so it makes sense. She also wears Nadeko Sengoku's outfit in a CD cover, if that counts, as she sings "Ren'Ai Circulation".
Grade: B+

Mind
Personality: The first thing that you notice about Iori is that she's rich. She's the daughter of a powerful CEO and this is used in the series to confront villians. She does have an air of elegance about her, fitting her ojou background. However, it seems that her father can be scary. Iori has a mother and two older brothers as well, though her brothers are overseas. Outside of maids or butlers the only friend Iori seemed to have growing up was her stuffed rabbit Usa-chan (or, in the anime, Charles Donatello The 18th). Surprisingly she's not spoiled though, she's best friends with Yayoi and helps around her house when necessary. She even decided to become an idol to prove to her father that she could make it herself. She does have a pretty big ego, to the point where her interviews in Puchimas are fast-forwarded as she taks about herself too much (this may just be for the comedic effect though). She also calls others, especially Miki, "Anta" which shows either familiarity or is condescending.
Another easily-noticed trait of Iori's is that she's a tsundere. Luckily she's not a bad one, only being slightly harsh around people she knows and kinder to strangers (including fans). Even then she's not annoying at all She does like teasing the other girls, especially because she can come up with ghost stories quickly, and she does have a sharp tongue and short temper. She's nicknamed "The little-devil idol" for this. She seems to enjoy vacations and shopping, though in Puchimas she doesn't seem to enjoy Yayoi taking her on random trips. She also seems to be multilingual and is able to speak Chinese, French, German, Spanish, and fluent English in addition to Japanese. We also can't forget that she becomes part of Ryuugyuu Komachi, though fortunately she doesn't cut her lovely hair.
We can't forget about Iori's VAs. Obviously her main voice is Rie Kugimiya, the tsundere queen herself. She's a bit high, but it's in no way distracting and sounds really nice. At least to me. That said, it's impressive that Xenoglossia was able to get Yukari Tamura to play Iori. She does a GREAT job being a smug loli like Iori, but both voices are great. In general, there's a lot of things that made Iori my favorite loli and one of my top idols from the original series.
Grade: B+

: Of COURSE, no one can resist my extravagant beauty- Wait. I can understand you MAYBE falling for the charms of girls like Ritsuko or Takane, but there's another loli you like more than me?

*Topaz tries to avert is eyes.*

: If you don't tell me I'll have Io shoot you!

: Moh!

Alright, I blame Anzu's great personality. But you easily have her beat on hair!

: Figures that a lazy guy like you would like Anzu. I really shouldn't be surprised. N-now get back to the blog, even if you're nearly done!

Certainly!

Libido: There really isn't much shown in this area for Iori. She might hit on the Producer, like most of the girls, in the games, but I don't know much about them. She's likely to be paired up with Yayoi though. The two seem to spend a lot of time together and I'm not sure if their meeting has ever been explained.
Grade: C

Age: Iori, as one of the idolmaster lolis, is only 15. Technically she started at 14 in the first game, but she's aged slightly. Iori's birthday is May 5th.
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 61
Average score: 6.8
Final Grade: B-

: THAT'S IT!

What? You didn't like your score?

: Well, I imagine that your other blogger friend would think higher of me, but that's not the point. I mean I'm sick of looking for Yayoi.

: Kii!

Calm down, Iori and... I.. o. That's it!

: What?

We can't find Yayoi but I have a sure-fire way to find her Puchidol Yayo!

: It's probably a dumb idea...

*Topaz sneaks behind a nearby tree, and then pops out with a leaf over his face.*

SKRREEEEEEE!

: AIIIEEE!

: Kiiiiiii!

*Iori leaps back while Io nearly fries Topaz with a head-laser. There's a small smoldering area just where he was standing (as he had taken evasive action and jumped back behind the tree). He also drops the leaf.*

Wow, I did NOT think that through...

: What's the big deal! You nearly scared the living daylights out of us!

Well, I was hoping that by scaring you it would make money pop out.

: You DO know real people aren't like that...

That's true, you don't have an oddly giant-headed proportion. But we do need to get some money on the ground. Do you have a coin on you?

: I only have a credit card, that's usually enough.

That's not helpful. Let's see... *Topaz digs around in his pockets, eventually pulling out a coin.* AHA!

*He drops it on the ground.*

Now we wait...

: Do you really think a plan like this will work?

*Nearby bushes rustle.*

Shhh, she'll hear us.

*An orange-haired Puchidol emerges from the bush.*

: Uun? Un-uun!

*Yayo goes an picks up the coin cutely, putting it in her mouth before starting to run off on all fours.*

Hey! Don't run off!

*Yayo slows down and stops. She then turns around and, crying, offers the coin back.*

No no, that's yours.

*Yayo stops crying and looks happy.*

: Uun!

*Yayo does the pose of getting money.*

But you have to take us to Yayoi. Can you do that?

: Un-uun!

: What do you think, Io?

: Moh!

: Your judgment is as good as mine. Let's go, Topaz!

*And so they did. Iori and Topaz, along with Yayo and Io go across the island, with silly screens of them canoeing down a river, mountain climbing, and a break for tea. Eventually the reach a hut. The four enter it and see Yayoi up on a throne with two Harukasans as guards on either side of her. They have silly Roman helmets and spears.*

: Welcome you two. I'm the island chief here, but if you're looking for a Yo-yo I already gave mine away.

Curses! But at least we have a Yayo!

*He holds up the Puchidol.*

: Uun?

: Enough playing around, you two. So THIS is where you went after you dropped me off.

: Well, I was ordered here by the Chessmasters to make sure that Topaz didn't get a hold of THIS!

*She holds a mechanical device attached to her wrist and back of her left hand.*

I-Is that the Savior Saver?

: Uhhh, I think that's what they called it. But no matter. You're before me today and if I defeat you I can go back to the city!

: But why are you doing this?

: The other idols and I have decided that, since you seem to not like twintailed idols we'd defeat him before he has a chance to blog on us. Now, my minions! Get them!

*The two Harukasans sway back and forth, not doing much of anything.*

x2: Kakka!

*Yayo is too distracted by a shiny coin to battle.*

: Un-uun!

: Fine then, seems I'll have to take care of you myself!

*Yayoi epically takes out a deck of cards.*

: Hey, this is my blog! You can't fight him yet!

That's true. Wait your turn.

: Fine then, you'll have a full week to prepare yourself.

You heard her everyone. Seems next week will be a blog on Yayoi!
Posted by emperortopaz | 03-19-15, 9:59 AM | 0 comments
March 12th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-twenty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We start with Ririchiyo and Topaz at the 765 productions. Topaz is napping in a seat with a magazine over his face while Riri is playing the 3DS. She is surprised by the sudden camera, but shakes Topaz awake.*

: Topaz! Topaz! It's time!

*Topaz yawns.*

Did you finally beat all the characters in Classic mode?

: I did, but that's not what I'm talking about. It's finally Thursday!

Is it? We've been here for a full week already?

: At least it gave me time to practice my Smash skills if Haruka wants to challenge us in that this time.

Oh yeah. We're here because Haruka, AKA Pawn Eight or something similar wants to battle us!

: I can beat Classic mode on rank FIVE now!

*Riri stands proud, her hands on her hips.*

Congratulations! Hopefully Haruka will challenge us on that now.

: Certainly. Now all we have to do is wait...

Always waiting with this blog. Hopefully it won't take too-

*Haruka slams the door open and bursts through. She's again wearing her villainous costume.*

: Haruka Amami here! Now that my performance and stuff are done, I can finally battle you!

But first, the blog!

: What's that?

: He's just going to talk about you a bit.

: I don't have anything bad to say about that, I love hearing my fans' thoughts!

Well then, let's get onto it. And as you can probably figure...

Today's girl is:



Haruka Amami
from
The iDOLM@STER


Head
Hair: The first thing to note about Haruka's hair is that she often wears twin decorations on her temples and they tie her sides into sort-of twintails. They do look nice. She also has level bangs, though they're split up so it's not quite a hime cut. She'll also wear a cool hat while in disguise. Color-wise her hair seems to be brown, though not as dark as it seems in Xenoglossia. It may also has a red-ish tint to it, but that might be because her image color is red and she wears a lot of that color. The biggest problem Haruka has is that off is that her hair is short, barely reaching her shoulders at points. The hair at the bottom also spreads out a bit as well, though it gets hard to tell. It isn't too terrible though and fits with Haruka being a "cute" idol.
Grade: B

Eyes: Haruka has green-blue eyes, a nice if basic color. She also has a tarame, which is fitting considering her personality. Her eyes look nice if a bit plain. The one good thing about Haruka's eyes is that, as said back in Makoto's blog, she'll wear glasses in her disguise. They're also great, being black with thick-ish frames (at the very least we can see the entire frame). They compliment her face well and she should wear them more often.
Grade: B+

Face: Haruka's face is also somewhat standard. She has a basic A-1 face, which isn't bad (she has a small nose among other features) but it does make her stand out less. She is a pretty positive person as well and often has a wide smile on her face. However, this wide smile also makes its way onto Harukasan, Haruka's Puchidol, where she nearly has it all the time. Only in her case it makes up about a third or so of her face.
Speaking of Puchimas, there's a lot of memes associated with Haruka's face. First off, from the games we have Dark/Black Haruka. This is an expression she has where her eyes are empty and half-closed yet she has a smile. It looks very off-putting and some people call this her yandere version. Speaking of creepy, during some promotion for an idolmaster game one of the PlayStation Home items was a plastic mask of Haruka as well as a skin with odd proportions and a lifeless stance. People call this the "Home Haruka" and it gets portrayed in creepy ways from what I've heard. Finally, there's the nonowa. When thinking Haruka tends to look up and to the right or left which looks like a のヮの in Japanese text. As a result this became it's own chibi creature.
Grade: B

Body
Build: Haruka is 158 cm and 46 kg, and her three measurements are 83/56/80 in the first game and 83/56/82. As you can probably tell, the only difference is that her hips grew by 2 cm (and to be fair in the first game she was only 45 kg). Because of this growth Haruka became somewhat of a butt girl. Not as much as Takane or Uzuki are, though she does get a card where she's coming out of the pool and you can see her butt front and center. I blame Haruka STILL having a bigger chest even after this change (the other two have larger hips). The main problem with Haruka is that even with this change she doesn't have that much of an outstanding figure. She has a pretty slender and average figure. Not quite a loli, but not a curvy girl either. Granted Haruka's body isn't terrible, very few girls are, but she doesn't impress me too much. At least she's not shy to show it off in a bikini.
Grade: C+

Breasts: As said before Haruka has an 83 cm chest. She does have some curve, enough to keep her from being flat, but not enough to consider her "busty". She's average in this area too, it seems. This isn't counting her nonsensical busty moment during one of the Puchimas EDs where she's nearly as big and bouncy as Ritsuko. Okay, so measurement-wise she is, but I'm pretty sure that this moment is JUST because they needed another girl to bother Chihaya and Makoto wasn't a valid girl for that purpose.
Grade: C

Clothes: I apologize for all the idols recently, especially in this area here. I know that I don't talk about individual outfits too much due to the variety they have. Haruka in particular, as one of the main three girls, has a lot of outfits. A good amount of them are school-related, with a sailor uniform (with occasional blazer) or another sort, mostly with bow ties. As is required of all main Idolmaster girls I have to mention Haruka's fruit costume which is a strawberry. In general she tends to wear either red (her image color) or pink outfits. She also dresses up as a villain for the in-series movie, sporting a black cape, a short red skirt, red and black striped thighhighs, a white sleeveless shirt with a necktie, and long black gloves. In the beach episode she wears a pink bikini a with white outline. She also wears more in the cards, like most Idolmaster girls do. These include a maid outfit, a bull hoodie (I think), a pirate outfit, gym clothes and buruma (sadly she doesn't show her butt like Uzuki), a towel, an oni-striped top and skirt, and a yukata.
Grade: B+

Also, while this is something important I'd like to point out I have no idea where to put it. So I'll just mention it now, after discussing her build; a lot of features Haruka has are shared by Yukiho. Though I do guess Yukiho is slightly slimmer, but they do look alike and the short brown hair is another factor.

Mind
Personality: Haruka is a very cheerful and upbeat main heroine. She's the light of optimism in the other girl's lives, getting along with all of them and being the “heart” of 765 Productions. As a result she becomes the unofficial and then official leader of the group. She works hard and, even if she's a bit of a klutz she doesn't let falling get to her. She considers going a full day without tripping to be an accomplishment. Luckily this sort of thing doesn't happen while on stage as she concentrates. The problem is that Haruka is a really plain main character. Even the President of the company considers her “average”. She seems to have an above-average singing score in the second game, though not as high as Chihaya. Haruka practices singing in the park due to a childhood memory. She's also skilled at making sweets (and, despite doing well in the anime, she's a poor cook in the games). She lives outside Tokyo with her parents, which explains why she's on trains or rushing to get to the Production office. She also has a catchphrase in advertisements where she says “Producer-san, it's (object)! (object)!!”, but she doesn't use this in the anime as I recall.

: Producer-san, it's glasses! Glasses!!

*Haruka adjusts her glasses.*

Looks lovely! Getting back to the blog, most of my problems with Haruka are in the spin-offs. She's a pretty big troublemaker in the Puchimas series. She's the one who does a lot of things to Harukasan including intentionally getting her wet (which multiplies her) or feeding her after midnight. Harukasan is a gremlin, I suppose. In general Harukasan is one of the worst but most entertaining Puchidols; it's pretty dumb and only thinks about eating, though as a comedy she does fit in. Haruka herself also introduces herself each time she appears, but I find that charming. She does wear glasses to try to seem smarter in one mini episode too, something I liked.
Haruka is voiced by Eriko Nakamura. She's not a big name VA so I don't have much to compare her to. Haruka is definitely her biggest role and her only other starring roles are Chisato in KoiChoco and Ui in Hoshizora. I can't say too much about Haruka's voice, it's not bad but she's not too great either.
Grade: C+

Libido: Haruka really doesn't show romantic feelings. It's possible that there's more in the games towards the producer, but I wouldn't know. She seems to be paired off with Chihaya mostly, as said last week Haruka helps her through her difficult past. I could see her getting with Yayoi due to the girls being similar as well. I will add that one of Haruka's image songs, "I Want", talks about possibly dominating a guy that confessed to her (including making him kneel, becoming his "first master" and engraving her love on his body with a whip. The last part doesn't appeal too much to me, but the others are nice). That was a REAL surprise as otherwise there isn't anything to indicate that she has this sort of feeling, Tokiko she is not (the femdom idol from Cinderella Girls).
Grade: C+

Age: Haruka, like Chihaya last week, is seventeen. To be fair she was 16 in the first game, again like Chihaya. Her birthday is April 3rd, meaning she's slightly younger than Chihaya (who was born in February).
Grade: B

Total Grades: 64
Average score: 7.1
Final Grade: B-

: So that's all the blog is? Seems short.

Well, you are an “average” girl. I'm not your biggest fan, though

: That's true, one of my fans wouldn't call me “average”! But now that the blog is completed it's time to battle!

: I'm ready! *looks pumped.*

: What are you so excited for? This battle is just between Topaz and me.

: B-but.. All that practice.

Don't worry, I'm sure that your skills will come in handy sometime. I hope. So what game do you have for me this time? Yu-Gi-Oh? More Pokémon? Some game I don't know yet will still defeat you at?

: You were closest with the last one, but it shall be I who shall triumph over you! For I know your weakness!

: They aren't that big and distracting, Haruka!

: What are you talking about?

I think she means your glasses. I don't know what she's talking about, I think they're the perfect size.

: I agree *adjusts them*. But while that will distract you, I mean THIS!

*She holds up a video game.*

: If anything that's Topaz's strong point! Seems you've gotten confused at this, what a joke. No wonder you're just a PAWN.

: It's not the fact that it's a video game. It's the GENRE!

: Topaz will beat you no matter WHAT game you play.

Err, Riri... You might be selling me somewhat high.

: But you always win at the games I see you play!

But those are mainly RPGs and Platformers!

: ... There's other types of games?

: Enough with this silliness!

What? I never agreed to that! I'd also squeak a clown nose at that sentence, but I lack one.

: Stop fooling around, Topaz.

: Right, I've got the game going already too! Pan-paka-pa~n!!

You're not a heavy cruiser, poi!

: I'm just having fun! After all, Producer is spending time with me!

I'm the Producer?

: The Imprint ability must be activated. Quick, beat her and then we'll escape!

But where to? We need to defeat the Chessmasters.

: If you defeat me I'll take you to my boss Left Rook. Of course, if I win you'll have to stop blogging forever!

: DUN DUN DUNN! Don't accept her challenge, Topaz. I-I want to keep blogging with you.

I have to. It's worth the chance to face one of the higher ups in the Chessmasters. Plus we need to get the Savior Saver!

: Didn't you learn from Makoto not to rush into things?

Nope!

*Riri sighs*

: Well then, go get your Buster Blader or whatever it's called.

: I'll even let Producer play with Miurasan as an extra reward... Bet she'll be soft to marshmallow too...

: *grumble grumble.*

I appreciate the offer, but I'm doing this more for my blog...

: It's alright. I'll allow you to enjoy fondling boobs. But just this once!

You are a kind assistant, Ririchiyo.

: I-It's just because I'm in a good mood today!

: Alright then, enough being distracted. It's time to play my game. And it's a RHYTHM-based one!

I just hope it doesn't involve dancing. That's something I wouldn't want to subject my readers to...

: And I hope it doesn't involve singing. You couldn't carry a tune with a bucket!

Yeah, but I can TUNA FISH!

: Really? How?

Er, that's just a joke.

*Riri sighs yet again, facepalming this time.*

: Ha ha ha! I knew you'd never be able to beat me in this sort of game!

That doesn't mean I shouldn't try!

: You really shouldn't, but since you've already accepted my challenge I'll go first! I'll show you how "normal" I am! Let's start!

*Haruka plays the game, hitting buttons in tune with the music and following the prompts. In the background Harukasans seem to be dancing and other silly things. Haruka makes it through the song nearly perfectly. She gets every note with at least a "good" score, ending up with a fairly high score.*

: Wahaha! You'll never be able to beat my record!

So all I have to do is hit the correct buttons when the on-screen prompts tell me to? I should be able to do this!

*Topaz starts the game, pressing the buttons much like Haruka just did.*

: H-how can this be!

: I blame you picking a song he's really familiar with. Then again, I know my way around that Megalo-whatever song too! Chiaki made me play that game and it was fun and stuff!

*However, Topaz slips up right in the middle of the song. A note goes by and he misses it completely.*

: YES! Now I'll be able to beat him easily!

Don't count me out quite yet!

*Topaz continues with the song and finishes. The words "High Score" flash on the screen.*

: W-what?!

: I don't even understand how that happened!

: It's quite simple.

*The three turn around to see the meganekko manager standing behind them.*

: What do you mean?

: Well, that was a prototype game that was based on an idol game. It didn't work properly so it was scrapped, and I was able to get it for free to entertain you idols during your free time.

At least it doesn't require cards to play, though.

: That would earn us a Million... Live! I do Love Live. But getting back to the point at hand, there was a major glitch in that song in particular.

: A glitch?

: When a perfect score is gotten, the combo points are given but a multiplier is not added for the "perfect" bonus. This is due to there being exactly 256 notes in the song. Upon taking the last one, it would roll over and make the multiplier 0.

That explains it somewhat...

: But I... I did it completely. Why does the multiplier effect so much?

: It's not just the multiplier. If Topaz had skipped any other note he'd still lose. However, for some reason missing the exact center note forces the game to count the two beside it twice. This is enough to bump up his score by 1% per note. In other words, Haruka's 100% is less than Topaz getting 51% twice.

: B-but that's unfair!

You're the one who challenged me at the game. I won, fair and square.

: Well, you won because of horrible glitchy programming. But you did beat her and that's what's important.

: *sigh* Haruka is depressed now... But I have another plan! Take THIS!

*Haruka flings a soft small humanoid at Topaz.*

: Ara?

*Miurasan starts to play with Topaz's hair.*

: See, I kept my promise!

: Heh, this is what you get for getting excited over nothing. (that's a relief. I don't thing I could take Topaz fondling another girl).

She is quite cute, thanks! But what about taking me to Left Rook or whoever?

: Well, the mystery is in this book...

*Haruka lifts up a heavy-looking book.*

: Oh no, not my hands. I'm such a clumsy main girl!

*She drops it, causing a loud noise and spooking Miurasan.*

: ARA!

What's the meaning of-

*Both Topaz and Miurasan disappear. Riri tries to stop them, but catches nothing but air.*

: N-NO! I can't lose Topaz again! Don't tell me you sent him to the underworld!

: What? No! I did what I said and sent him to where Left Rook is. I'm sure he can find her, IF he can survive...

====Meanwhile====

*Topaz appears in a densely vegetated area.*

-this? Huh. It seems that Miurasan dropped me off here. Luckily she couldn't have gone far. *looks around* Oh, there she is.

*He attempts to sneak towards the Puchidol, who must have rolled away after they got there. However, he steps on a twig, scaring Miurasan to teleport once again from the loud snap.*

: ARA!

There goes my ride. Hopefully I know where I am....

*The camera zooms out to a deserted island.*

...Well.

*The camera goes back to normal and with Topaz trying to find his way to the beach. Once there he hears a voice.*

???: Oh? Did she take another person out with her on one of her "vacations" again. I swear...

*Topaz turns to see an ojou-like girl with brown hair and a fairly distinct forehead.*

I-Iori?

: That's me!
Posted by emperortopaz | 03-12-15, 9:57 AM | 0 comments
March 5th, 2015
This is the Three-hundredth-twenty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are standing in front of a familiar building. That building is the 765 Productions office.*

Well, we're here again...

: Remind me, why are we at an idol's production company?

We're here for Zettai's homage blog!

: I know that reason, doofus! (y-you aren't a doofus, Topaz. Sorry I lash out) I meant the OTHER reason. You know, because you forgot to tell our readers why we came here.

OH! You're right, Riri. We're here because last week Makoto, who was a knight of the Chessmasters, told us to come here. Seems that this is where Left Rook was last seen.

: And don't forget to tell them why are we looking for Left Rook in particular.

We're looking for the Savior Saver. Or something like that.

: Good. Now we can enter. Luckily I had the bright idea to call ahead for a reservation.

*Ririchiyo looks proud and Topaz pats her head.*

And I looked around for holes in the ground and have ramen to bribe any puchis that get in the way.

: Go planning ahead, this is already better than last time!

That it is!

*The two enter 765 productions. The room they eventually get to is the main room, though the only one there seems to be a blue haired girl listening to music while seated on a couch.*

Perfect! H-hey, Chihaya!

*The girl takes off her headphones and looks up to Topaz.*

: Can I help you?

: We're here to do your blog. And also look for a certain person named "Left Rook", have you heard anything about them?

: If you're thinking of some dumb chuunibyou thing you're better off asking that one Cinderella girl.

*Chihaya attempts to put her headphones back on, but Topaz stops her.*

What about my blog? All I'll do is talk about you.

: Whatever. Just let me listen to my tracks in piece.

: You might want to pay attention to Topaz. He might have some comments about your chest.

Don't ruin the surprise, Riri.

: M-my chest? Fine, I'll listen to your dumb blog. But then you'll have to leave. I only have so much time and I need to get ready for a performance later.

It'll take as long as it has to to explain everything. And, as you readers can probably tell...

Today's girl is:



Chihaya Kisaragi
from
The iDOLM@STER


Head
Hair: Chihaya has really pretty hair. It's long, going all the way down to her waist or so. Even better is that it's the straight-back type, meaning that it doesn't curve around her neck or at the bottom or something. That's my favorite style for long hair, so good job Chihaya. She does have a part over her left eye, but as a whole her bangs are fine (though she doesn't have a hime cut). The sides could be longer as currently they seem to get lost in her bangs and are hard to see. It seems she was initially proposed with a headband, but that was dropped. Other than that she really doesn't have too many different hair styles, which is a plus for me. Finally, her hair is a dark blue color, a nice shade for my tastes. In the beginning I guess it looked black, but it's been lightened up since the arcade days.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Chihaya's eyes are pretty as well. I do find it difficult to describe her eye shape though. Personality-wise she seems like she'd have a tsurime, which she sort of does. However, there's a curve in the middle of her eye before it slopes downward. I'll guess that she has a tsurime and the corners of her eyes seem longer than they should be. I say this due to how her pupils are situated. This is just how I see it, though. It's sort of difficult to tell her eye color as well; it's either a gold, which I'm not as fond of but would fit her personality, or a brown, which I prefer. Even outside my opinion people see her eyes more as “brown” though. Sadly on the glasses front I can't recall if Chihaya wears any or not. She doesn't in the main series (the closest I think are ski goggles in a recent Million Live card), but it's Puchimas that I'm not sure about.
Grade: B

Face: Chihaya has a fairly average A-1 ish face, matching many of her costars. That said it's not too bad. She has small features and at least Idolmaster puts some thought into making different faces. I especially like the Puchimas version (and the Wooser version as well as they use the same model). It looks really soft and puni, with the (mostly) lack of nose really helping as well. That said I do find her really beautiful, and the moments when she's all goofy and laughing (like when Haruka opens a box wrong and whacks herself in the face) I really enjoy. I'm not too big into the game or Xenoglossia but seeing that I haven't experienced either I can't be too rough on them.
Grade: B+

: So you like glasses... Interesting...

: That he does. Perhaps you could put THESE on.

*Riri hands Chihaya a pair of red thick-framed glasses which she then puts on. Chihaya looks wonderful.*

: H-how do I look?

Wonderful! Good call, Riri.

: I haven't been your assistant for years for nothing!

True, you do keep me on track.

: Speaking of which, don't get distracted by her glasses.

... Huh

*Topaz is admiring Chihaya's glasses.*

: I said get back to your blog!

Er, of course!

Body
Build: Chihaya has what I'd describe as a “classical beauty” figure. She's 162 cm which is a fair height and weighs 41 kg. Due to this she has a low BMI and seems to be really underweight, but that's likely because as an idol she has to stay slim. Oddly enough she has a problem with people calling her “slender”, but I imagine it means something different in Japan. Also strange is that she apparently wants to be “fat” in the games on occasion. No, this isn't due to her chest (we'll be talking more about that later anyway); instead it's because her idea of a great singer is an opera singer and those tend to be bigger for the expanded lung capacity. Or something, I understandably don't know much about Opera. She still doesn't eat too much sweets, even when Haruka offers her some (though Chihaya can't turn down vanilla ice cream). Her three sizes are 72-55-78 so that means-

: Ku...

-What was that for?

: Isn't it obvious? You're going to mock and insult my chest.

I wouldn't think about doing something like that. I was just going to say that your hips are bigger than your chest.

: Yeah, and who wants a flat girl with a big butt!

*Ririchiyo and Topaz turn to each other, sigh, and return to facing Chihaya with the same answer.*

: Zettai.

Zettai. But that does remind me of a problem. I mean besides having more than a 5 cm difference (she also doesn't change between the first two games). You see, Chihaya doesn't shown off too much. She's got one good card where she's bending over, but as a whole she covers her body. Even in the beach episode she wears a shirt until Haruka pulls it off her. It's a shame as Chihaya's slender body is really nice, especially with her non-loli height. Her legs aren't always great but they do look nice in the cat-based white sukumizu card.
Grade: B-

Breasts: As said Chihaya has a 72 cm chest, and this is probably her worst area for me.

: See! You men are all the same!

Just breast bias isn't the reason though! It's true that I do prefer larger chests Chihaya's flat chest is still very beautiful! While that's the main reason for her score, because my grade is poorly one-sided, I have a better reason this time around. Chihaya is one of those girls who have a REALLY bad chest complex. You see, she's probably the flattest of the non-loli girls. As a result she's constantly reminded of that fact, and it doesn't help that Idolmaster is such a chest-dominated series as well. I'm not the best at ranting at this type of thing, but it is sad to see her picked on in-series and by fans for this fact. There was even a card on her BIRTHDAY that made her glare at Azusa and Takane for that reason. Takane, being more of a butt girl, should show that off more too. It's also a major part of the personality of Chihya, her Puchi idol, as she slaps girls that are “boing boing” and she's (meaning Chihya) also jealous of Miki and Azusa's puchis apparently being busty (we're not able to tell, but they are). Chihya otherwise is fine and cute, but it goes to show how much importance is put on Chihaya's flat chest complex that she really shouldn't have. It's sad that people have to bully her like this. While she does get a “D” here imagine it's more for “D”FC rather than a low score! Oh, and I won't forget Xenoglossia. Even if I haven't seen it it's obvious from the art that they messed up all the girls' chest sizes. It's so bad that Chihaya and Yayoi somehow end up bigger than AZUSA! Okay, so she shrunk a bit but STILL!
Grade: D

Clothes: Chihaya, as an idol, has a lot of outfits. Just look at the card game alone where she wears things like a white sukumizu, a kimono, a maid outfit, and a mermaid's tail (just to name a few). Some other official art includes a Santa outfit and a wedding dress. She also has various idol outfits in the main series, and her casual clothes are pretty as well. I do like how she wears a lot of neckties as they're a part of her blazer school uniform in the anime. As her fruit costume she wears a grape outfit, appealing far more than another “grape girl” to Zettai I bet. As a whole her color seems to be blue, which fits well with her personality. While I didn't go into much detail about Chihaya's many, many outfits do know that I like her clothes choices (even if they're somewhat reserved). Oh, and I guess that she wears a red shirt, black jacket, and white pants that make her hip's sides seem extra-large in Xenoglossia.
Grade: A

: That's not a great score. I bet that Takane or Asuza both got much higher scores...

They do suit my tastes better, that's all. Your body has its admirers too!

: Like who?

: Zettai! He'd easily find you attractive!

That's why I did your blog as a homage to him!

: Is THAT why there's so much fanservice?

There's not THAT much...

: Sure, if you compare it to some of Zettai's. Though I do guess that's because Chihaya isn't a COW like you like!

: I-Is this right?

You'll have to excuse Riri. She gets cranky sometimes.

: I'm NOT CRANKY! I just don't see why you had to do Nozomi and Sumire when I'm not around. You know how jealous of the latter I am...

: I've heard of this "Nozomi" *Sigh* Maybe I should have used that one breast-growth contraption I got...

DO NOT DO THAT! Be proud of your flatness! Like another blue-haired girl once said "A flat chest is a status symbol"!

: Sure doesn't seem that way in a lot of shows these days...

*Riri rolls her eyes*

That is a sad truth, and if I could help I would. Sadly all I can do is write my blogs...

: So whatever happened to that invention?

: You'd never guess...

====Flashback====


Wow, that flashback was more informative than I was expecting...

: SEE what I mean about the fanservice?!

That was just one time!

: That's no excuse! But I guess this is his homage so you're allowed to play around like that. Just don't forget to finish up the blog!

I might, so let's continue onward before I forget!

Mind
Personality: Chihaya is a cool and serious girl that's dedicated to her music. Which is cool as she's voiced by Asami Imai who is a really nice voice actress for my tastes. Her voice isn't too low, but still really appeals to me by being a fitting sweet teenage one. There also seems to be a joke due to one of her songs, “Ohayou!! Asagohan”, coming out somewhat robotic and it made the nickname “Mecha-Chihaya” which may have been the inspiration for the giant Chihaya robot in the main series. Getting back to her dedication, I've heard that she may have throat problems in the game (I can't prove that for sure). It's sad as she sees herself more of a vocalist than an idol and doesn't care about the flashy moments of the career. She also enjoys listening to classical music and doesn't enjoy doing things that don't further her career.
There's a sad reason for her dedication. You see, she used to sing for her younger brother Yuu (in the anime, at lest) and he really enjoyed it. However, eight years prior to the series beginning he was killed in a car accident. His death served to drive a wedge between her parents and they divorced. Chihaya currently lives by herself in a simple apartment. Because of this Chihaya is very insistent on having the Producer call her “Chihaya” as she doesn't like being called by her family name. She also felt the blame of her brother's death, becoming nearly unable to sing until Haruka came and helped her through that.
Chihaya may seem like a typical aloof TDB, but she's actually a lot more developed than you'd expect. You see, in the arcade games she has an extremely unbalanced mood. If you forget to greet her or she has a bad lesson it could be disastrous. The reason is that she has low tension gains but high tension losses, which shows that she suffers from depression and social anxiety. They really did a good job of showing how this works, but as you're timed in the game this can cause an unwinnable situation known as a "The Chihaya Spiral".

: Hey, it sounds like she's a tsunshun, like me.

Well, in Chihaya's case it would probably be a “Kuushun”, but the idea is basically the same. She even puts up a smile for the producer and tries to remain cheerful and happy around him. That said she's also symbolized as a “Bluebird of Happiness”. This is directly referenced in at least two of her songs, but it ties in with her trying to find her own path and her trying to find her unique happiness.
There's a bunch of little interesting things about Chihaya as well. She is a fan of dogs but doesn't own one as she's not allowed to have them in her apartment. She is allowed to keep Chihya in the Puchimas series, but Chihaya isn't a fan as Chihya sleeps on her face. Speaking of Puchimas Chihaya has a running joke of wanting to name every one of them she sees as “Gonzales”. I'm not sure where that name comes from, but it's a silly running joke of hers. It seems she's also bad with technology, but that's not shown too much in the anime. About the best reference is that she has a 90's-style phone while others probably have more up-to-date ones. She has an air of maturity but she'll still giggle at simple jokes. She's also interested in Kabuki, Greek Architecture, and photography, it seems. There's also rumors that she still believes in Santa due to a line in a game, but I can't say for sure.
As you can tell, I really like Chihaya. While she's not my favorite idol she probably has more backstory and depth most of the girls don't.
Grade: A

Libido: There's none really shown. I do suppose that there's some for the Producer in the games but there's nothing in the anime. I suppose that her and Haruka could have a thing, with both being main characters, but I can't be too sure.
Grade: C

Age: Chihaya is sixteen, though she does start the games at 15, and her birthday is February 25th. Happy over week-belated birthday! I do suppose she's older in Xenoglossia, being over 50 years old due to SCIENCE fiction, but I don't think that counts.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 71
Average score: 7.9
Final Grade: B

: I knew it. You just wanted me to... Hey, that's not a bad score.

No it isn't. You've at least beaten the recent middle school idols.

: Sadly the busty ones still best you.

: It's all because of my chest... *Sigh*

While that doesn't help I'll also say that your lack of libido also helps. Imagine how much better you would score if you were more aggressive! Or, even better, DOMINANT.

: Right, if you got a A- there instead you'd be above Azusa!

: Thanks, but I'd rather just concentrate on my music for now. Plus I should be getting going, I'm already late for my “appointment”.

Just remember, people love your flat chest so hold it out with pride!

: Certainly!

: Hey, it's about time for you to go.

*Azusa shows up behind them.*

: Oh no, it's the final boss already!

: Don't worry, I got this.

: Oh? Are you three busy playing a game?

: We were busy, but I'm ready now.

*Chihaya stands up and flicks her hair in an epic way. She then starts walking out and follows Azusa. Chihaya's chest is full of pride and she walks with confidence. However, Topaz holds her up.*

Oh, and one more thing. If you meet up with a person named "Zettai"...

*Topaz whispers into Chihaya's ear. She looks almost sick from whatever he's saying, but also intrigued.*

: A-are you sure?

Certainly! I bet he'll love it!

: Whatever Topaz told you don't do, Zettai is a pervert (but he likes DFC so he's a chill guy. Wait, "CHILL"? Riri, you know better than that).

: I'll get right on it then!

*Chihaya leaves to go find Zettai.*

Now what are we going to do, Riri? Chihaya wasn't one of the Chessmasters.

: True, but we did get a message that there was one here...

*Suddenly a mysterious shadow appears behind Topaz and Riri.*

???: Are you looking for the CHESSMASTERS? Well then, you've found one right here...

*As they turn around scared they only notice a girl with two bows in her hair. She's also wearing a black cape, trying a bit too hard to be a final boss.*

: Haruka Amami here! And as the eighth and final pawn I'll battle you!

GASP!

: You can't battle him today, Haruka. You've got a performance to get ready for.

*Haruka sighs.*

: You may think that you've won today, but we'll see who the winner will be... Next time!

*Haruka points threateningly to Topaz before leavng with Ritsuko.*

: Well, at least this way you're giving a hint...

That's true. It seems that next week will be Haruka Amami, see you all then!

Posted by emperortopaz | 03-05-15, 10:38 AM | 0 comments
February 26th, 2015
Anime Relations: DokiDoki! Precure
Example #326: The Blade of Courage

This is the Three-hundredth-twenty-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Previously...



Last time, on emperortopaz Blog Z!

: GWAAAAAAAHHH!

*Charges up*

: GWAAAAAAAHHH!

*Charges up*

Fortune's Pretty Cure level is over 9000!

: What? 9000! That's impossible!

: Not if I go SUPER INNOCENT!

: But that was a myth!

*Fortune enters Innocent form, but Diamond was able to defend against it.*

: IMPOSSIBLE! She shrugged off the Emerald Illusion?

: That's right, now take this! Ora ora ora!

: Not if I get you first! Ora ora ora!

*Diamond and Fortune shake their butts at each other, but Topaz gets in the way.*

Intercepted!

: Somehow I have been beaten!

Sadly not with spanks.

: You still have me though, and this isn't even my final form! GWAAAAAAAHHH!

*Charges up*

=========

And that's basically what happened.

: How come you made it seem like a classic Shounen?

Because he was the only announcer I could find. Would you rather have the Star Wars guy, or maybe have it narrated by the Pokémon Stadium announcer?

: Ugh, I guess this was fine then.

I figured you'd be fair. Now, on to that blog...

: How much of a fool do you think I am? I know you're trying to get me to get weakened by your blog! Since I'm in charge here I'll force you to battle me FIRST. If I win, you stop blogging forever, but if you win you'll gain the ability to blog me.

Sounds like a fair trade to me. What's your challenge? Some sort of video game? Perhaps a card game of sorts?

: THIS!

*Cure Sword tosses a Shinai at Topaz. Surprisingly he's able to catch it.*

What's this for?

: Kendo.

But I'm an untrained civilian!

: I'm able to pick WHATEVER I want. Be glad that I don't use my Excaliber-er, Holy Sword.

Sounds like someone is confused after all the Shounen jokes...

: S-SHUT UP! Just get in a stance, you nimrod!

I can't say I'll be any good at this, but have at you!

*Topaz gets into a battle stance. However, before he can really raise his guard Makoto strikes him with her Shinai. Topaz backs up, taking 10 damage from her blow.*

: I figured that you'd be USELESS like this.

I-I'm just getting my bearings. Try to do that again!

: Certainly! ERRRAAAGGGHH!

*Makoto charges Topaz again. However, Topaz parries and strikes her in the back of the head. Both Rikka and Iona are amazed.*

: W-with one strike...

: How were you able to do that?!

I guess I've been playing too much Smash and I got used to countering. Down B's are really useful.

*Sword stands back up and dusts herself off.*

: This means NOTHING, you hear me! I'm going to destroy you one way or another! FLASH! HOLY SWORD!

*Makoto charges at him, her holy energy blade drawn. However, flashes of the previous girl race in his mind...



-And he grabs Makoto by her arm just as she's about to strike. Topaz then flings her overhead, causing her to hit the wall with a loud BANG!*

: What just happened?

: It's his mimicry ability, he copied your martial arts skills.

: That guy is just full of surprises.

Well then, it looks like I've won.

*Makoto stands, being so damaged that her Cure form is reverted.*

: That you have, and as I promised I'll allow you to blog about me.

*Makoto bows to Topaz, deeming him a powerful adversary.*

Thanks then, I'm glad I could convince you to let me do this. Now, all you readers can probably assume but...

Today's girl is:



Makoto Kenzaki
from
DokiDoki! Precure


*Rikka and Iona both leave Cure form and sit beside Makoto, who is seated on the floor in a seiza position.*

Head
Hair: Makoto's hair is very short. She has some of the shortest hair in the PreCure universe as it doesn't even go past her chin. It is cool looking, having a lot of circles in it and nice split bangs that look well-maintained. She uses hair clips as well to keep it in place. Her sides also aren't too long, ending about at her cheeks. It is a dark purple, and as you could probably tell by the last few girls I like purple hair. Occasionally she'll wear a cool poofy-looking hat while in disguise.
Cure Sword's haircut is different to Makoto's in a lot of ways. Cure Sword's hair is a bit longer, but she keeps it in a ponytail. It sticks upward out of the back of her head. There's also an inward curve at the end as well as a secondary curve, though in general she has a lot of these “curves”. It's sort of hard to describe, but a lot of DokiDoki girls have a similar effect in Cure form. Her hair is also a lighter purple, not as good as her normal color. I've read that her hair looks like the shorter version of Cure Beat's, but I haven't seen her show yet.
Grade: C+

Eyes: Like many current PreCures Makoto's eyes are the same color as her hair. This also extends to Cure Sword, her eyes becoming lighter like her hair. I do like her purple eyes, but overall her shape isn't too much different from other Cure girls. She also has a lot of eyelashes on the sides, something I'm not too fond of. That said Makoto does have sparkly and nice eyes at times. And of course, we can't forget her big, red, thick-framed glasses. They're great, though she doesn't wear them as often as Rikka. But Makoto, along with Aoi and Yurika from Aikatsu and Haruka from Idolmaster, gave me a great appreciation for idols who use glasses as a part of a disguise.
Grade: B+

Face: Makoto has a standard Precure face, cute but not too impressive. She does have small features, which is always a plus. She also has some really nice expressions as well, one in particular I remember being when she finds Ai (the baby) really cute, I think. That said she's also a bit grumpy in the beginning, being far more serious than the other characters. I don't mind, but do keep that in mind.

Still a cute face though

Also, apparently there was a meme face of Makoto eating an onigiri. I hadn't heard about it until I was doing research, but Makotonigiri (original name, isn't it?) is another cute face.
Grade: B+

*Sumire runs into the room.*

: *pant pant* I got here as soon as I could!

: Thank you for coming, Sumire. But as you can see I've already lost...

: That's too bad. It seems that our fortune telling is no match for Topaz.

: We weren't expecting Rikka to show up. I'm sure that Topaz wouldn't have been able to take down both Sword-senpai and myself.

: I didn't want Makoto to keep being confused. Had I known it was her I probably would have confronted her.

: True true, if I had known that Topaz hadn't been keeping you from me I wouldn't have been as manipulated by the Chessmasters. Though I still don't know where Mana is...

I think she was with Zettai, but even before you attacked she should have been back.

: She's not!

Well then, how about I help you find her. After your blog of course.

: That's acceptable.

: What should I do?

: How about you sit with us and listen to Topaz?

: A-alright.

*Sumire nods and sits next to the other three as Topaz continues his blog.*

Body
Build: Makoto's body isn't too different from the other Precures. She has a slender middle school body, fitting both the art style. The only unfortunate thing is that she doesn't have any real points of interest (including a butt attack). I do suppose she shows off her back after her transformation, meaning her legs are somewhat shown, but I wouldn't count that. She doesn't fit my tastes, but she's not too bad I imagine.
Grade: C

Breasts: Again, as said many times, Precure don't normally score well in the chest department. Nothing wrong with that, this is a show for young girls, but it doesn't fit my tastes.
Grade: D

Clothes: As an idol Makoto does seem to have a fair-sized wardrobe. Her basic outfit consists of a vest-like coat (though it goes past her knees), a white long-sleeved shirt, and shorts. She also has a necktie but sadly does not have thighhighs or pantyhose; she barely has socks on at all! Her uniform is similar to Rikka's from a few weeks back, but as a refresher: Her school uniform, another outfit we see her wear, is a white one-piece with a skirt that seems to have purple around the collar, wrists, and pockets. There's a yellow bow at the bottom of the collar, but overall it's not an impressive uniform. Purple does fit Makoto a bit better, being that she's a Purple Cure. Makoto also wears an apron over this uniform to cook. She also wears a Halloween outfit in official art. She's also worn a hooded track outfit and she dressed as Snow White for a performance. In the movie she's seen in a fancy dress, but I can't talk too much about it.
As Cure Sword Makoto wears a white and violet dress with a lot of frills and bows. Especially around the shoulders, giving the appearance of a bird motif. She wears a cape a few times, but she doesn't actually fight in it. She also has detached sleeves and really high boots (ending mid-thigh). As a interesting bit of trivia Makoto is the first official “Purple” Cure (Moonlight is described as a “Silver” Cure for some reason and they're not counting Milky Rose as a “Cure”).
Grade: B-

*As Topaz ends his last sentence Nozomi bursts into the room.*

: Pawns! Right Knight! We have an intruda!

: Stand down Nozomi, we know that Topaz is here.

: He's been doing Makoto's blog as he defeated her in kendo.

: Really? Interesting. But dat's not why I'm saying dat. I was followed.

*A beautiful girl comes out from behind Nozomi.*

R-R-RIRICHIYO?!?

: That's right, Topaz. So THIS is where you've been all this time (don't get too angry at him).

: What's wrong with hanging out with us?

Yeah, plus I was attacked by them. Or something.

: A likely story! I'm only somewhat surprised with the girls surrounding you; I can understand the busty girl of course, and I bet that some of the magical girls here wear glasses or something. Then we have the girl with the great hair.

: Thanks for noticing. Yours is great too!

: I wasn't asking for a compliment! B-but I appreciate that. Anyway, you've skipped both my birthday AND let down your friend!

He recovered quickly!

: Yeah, but he still had his assistants scold him, and it's not like he has anime to support him either!

Don't worry, I have a very good homage blog coming up for him. He should like it too.

: That's fine, but I'll try to remind you to make one earlier next time.

Thanks for that, I can be a bit forgetful.

: As touching as this reunion is, how about we continue with my blog? We still need to find Mana!

Oh, right! I can't forget that plot point! Back to the blog...

: Is everyone sitting too? I suppose I'll humor you, Topaz.

*Riri and Nozomi takes a seat with the others.*

Mind
Personality: We're first introduced to Makoto as the strong-minded Cure Sword. She has a strong sense of justice, but enjoys fighting alone. She saves the lead a few times in the first few episodes, but other than that her power gets decreased to the point that Cure Ace takes a lot of Makoto's personality traits when she shows up. Which is unfortunate as she gets a bit forgotten as a result. There's bound to be some reason Sword was one of the final “thanks” girls, maybe a poor luck of the draw or that's when her VA was available, but it wouldn't surprise me if she was forgotten by Toei. Speaking of Toei I've heard comparisons between Cure Sword and a Kamen Rider. I don't know the show so I'm not certain, but Kenzaki Kazuma from Kamen Rider Blade is written in a similar fashion to Makoto's name and is also symbolized by a spade. As far as Cure Sword is concerned I can't remember if she started it but for both her and Fortune, before they officially joined the teams, they'd have a bad habit of watching the other girls battle. This wouldn't be too bad if they didn't show it on the previews to tease fans of the characters.
Getting to Makoto specifically she's an idol as her “civilian” cover. She really likes to sing and wants Marie Ange to listen to her somehow, so she sings with her whole heart. Kanako Miyamoto does a good job as well, even if she's not well known. In fact, during one episode Makoto sings to the “villain” Regina while transforming! It's a real surprise as she forgoes the usual transformation stock footage during this moment so I wouldn't mind seeing it happen more often. Anyway, the reason Makoto wants to find Marie Ange so bad is that she's the Princess of the Trump kingdom and Makoto was a knight. Unfortunately the kingdom was attacked and, while escaping, Marie Ange got separated. As a result Makoto tries her best to find her. Another key moment was that Makoto was the only one who didn't believe that Regina was reformed, even though Mana kept pushing their friendship on the other characters. However, being trained as a knight had some side effects as Makoto is a terrible cook and can't use a broom properly. She also has dorky moments, breaking her charisma but making her seem even better. Overall she's not a bad girl, but she does get ignored a lot in the series.
Grade: B

Libido: Makoto doesn't show that many scenes. Well, other than the obvious Mana moments but every girl in the series gets those. And I do guess that Rikka does imagine the two getting married at one point in the manga. However, I doubt that Mana is that interested in Makoto as anything more than an idol to admire. However, the true love of Makoto's life is/was Marie Ange, her queen. She writes a vaguely love song for her and gets angry when she finds out Marie Ange has a fiance. Curse you Tusk! Wait, wrong Ange, and even Tusk is better than a certain villain. But back to Makoto. Her love for Marie Ange is so major that she nearly remained in her dream world in the movie solely because Marie Ange was in it.
Grade: C+

Age: Makoto is 14, like many Cures. Unlike most Cures we also know her birthday, November fourth, due to another character's birthday episode. We also see her in the past in flashbacks and in the future in the movie, but she doesn't seem to change too much.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 57
Average score: 6.2
Final Grade: C+

: THERE! Now that my blog is officially done can we go look for Mana?

: I would like to find her myself too. I've been trying to get her on the Cure-municator the whole time.

I bet she'll just fall into our laps...

: Do you know the chances that something THAT ridiculous would happen?

Uhh...

*Suddenly a crashing noise is heard as two figures come through a window. They roll safely and stand up. One has pink hair and the other is a blonde.*

: W-WHAT?!

: MANA!

: That's right! The overflowing love! Cure Hear- Well, I guess I'm just Mana right now, but still.

: Where have you been!

: We've been so worried about you!

: Well, after nearly destroying Spain I-

: Wait, what?!

: Just continue, Mana. We can go into details afterward...

: Good enough for me. Anyway, as I was saying, I saved the universe by destroying Blog Zero and her assistant.

: But dat was nearly a month ago! What were ye doing all this time?

: Well, I visited the person most important to me. Isn't that right, Regina?

: Certainly! We played video games and had lots of fun together!

: For a whole month? Without contacting me or Makoto? Or even Alice or Aguri?

: Of course not. It would be selfish to take the time from you to tell you that I'm alright. And everyone knows I'm the least selfish person ever. That's why my heart is so pure and I'm able to use the nimbus cloud.

: Wasn't that just a dream sequence?

: Don't talk back.

*A large screen television appears and a curled-hair girl appears on screen.*

: If you're alright we'll all take you down on my personal helicopter.

That sounds needlessly complicated but fun. I'm in!

: I'm here in the helicopter too! Don't forget to include me!

: If anyone should be worried about being forgotten, it should be me.

: Oh my, were you the one that had an older brother written out?

Sounds like he went up stairs with his basketball. But how about we take that ride now?

*The group agrees and lands safely on the ground.*

Wow, that was uneventful.

: What, you think the universe revolves around YOU? Heh.

That's true.

: OH! That reminds me. We have something for you.

: What are you talking about?

: I think she's talkin' about dat one device Iona made.

: Oh yes. The Savior Saver.

Now that's a tongue twister. What does it do?

: Well, you know how we told you about the three saviors that would ruin us if you were able to blog about them?

: Wait, I wasn't there. Tell me more.

I think she pretty much explained it, but it seems we have to meet with three girls that saved us or something.

: That's highly vague.

: Fortune telling is not a very specific hobby.

: It isn't, but the Savior Saver would have at least told us once you've found all three girls. You see, after you blogged a girl considered one of your "Saviors" an alarm would go off.

That sounds noisy. How would it help me?

: Jeez, do we hav' ta tell ya everything? If ya do one o' your saviors ya'll be able to tell if you got that!

: Right. Last I knew it Makoto had it.

: Oh, that one thing shaped like a Cure phone? I lent it to Left Rook in case I would fail in my mission.

Who is that?

: It's... Huh. I could imagine her a few seconds ago, but now I'm drawing a blank.

: It's as if the memory was drained out of our heads.

: Harumph. That's certainly convenient. I blame Topaz being a poor writer.

Hey!

: But don't worry. I know that the place you're looking for has "765" in the name...

That's more helpful than nothing, I guess. Come on Riri, we have a homage blog to talk about!

: Let's hope that Zettai appreciates all you do for him...

Of course, as I appreciate everything he does!

*Riri and Topaz walk into the sunset. Join us next week for... more idols, actually.*

Posted by emperortopaz | 02-26-15, 9:04 AM | 0 comments
February 19th, 2015
Anime Relations: Happiness Charge Precure!
This is the Three-hundredth-twenty-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

==Last time==

I am in the way!

I shall fondle your DFC!

NOOO! I am defeated blargh!

Sexy!

Go to the tower there!

'kay.

*He goes.*

You are Makoto and EVUL!

: I am! Blah blah important plot points!

Oh no! How could It get worse?

: I am here too!

IT GOT WORSE!

=======

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

: Really? You're going to call that "it" for the review.

: It seemed really rushed...

I may have paraphrased, slightly...

: "Slightly"? I'm pretty sure that's the shortest way you could have put it. It's like you're trying to hurry up to do something!

Well, I do sense a battle coming up...

: That's true. A battle between you and I, for the sake of Sword's safety, shall commence.

*Iona gets into a ready pose.*

We're fighting already? I'm surprised. I would have thought that I could have at least done my blog first... Too bad, I had a lot of interesting things...

*Iona looks interested.*

: My blog?

Yeah, I'll compare you to other anime girls.

: Don't fall for it, Iona. He's just trying to buy time!

I would like to buy time, but I imagine you wouldn't be the one to purchase it from. Plus it's not like I have any plan either...

: He's obviously-

*Iona puts out her arm.*

: Be that as it may, I can see in his eyes that I should trust him. And even if it IS a trap it'll be the way forward if we HAVE to fall into it.

: Stop it with your Meta speak, this isn't an RPG!

: True. But I'm also curious. Alright Topaz, I'll allow you to hold off the battle until after the blog.

*Topaz speaks to himself.*

Phew, that was a close one. Now hopefully I'll be able to come up with a strategy by the end of the blog...

*Back towards the others.*

Well then, let's get thi blog on the road! As you should be able to tell...



Head
Hair: Iona's civilian form has really nice hair. It's a dark purple color, one of my favorites. It's also mostly straight and free, with her sides resting really beautifully on her shoulders. She does put it up in a ponytail to practice karate, which to be fair is understandable. The length goes about midway down her back. Her bangs are about the only problem, having a bit of a curve and revealing some of her forehead in the middle. As far as her cure form goes Cure Fortune also has the bang problem but in general it's not too bad either. Her hair is a lighter purple which is a downgrade but not a troublesome one. Her hair is also put into a long ponytail which goes about down to her hips. The ponytail does have a wide “base” against her head which means it's harder to tell that it's a ponytail. Then again this is HapiCha and nearly EVERY Cure in it has a ponytail (though it seems that it's far from the only series with a lot of ponytail girls. It's almost like Kyon designs the cures). It is big and voluminous, with a heart-shaped pin and ribbon over her left ear. She also has other hair styles with her cards “Pine Arabian” and “Anmitsu Komachi”. With Pine Arabian it's nearly beehive-like with ribbons and a tiara, with a high ponytail at the top (somewhat similar to Cure Peace). With Anmitsu Komachi she has a mostly-basic straight ponytail except that she has a red bow in her hair at the base as well as a bow made out of HAIR. It sounds better than I've described, though, and looks really nice. Finally, with Innocent Form Iona's hair is in another ponytail. She has the same bangs but her hair is longer (it goes past her knees) and even lighter than as Cure Fortune.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Like a lot of Precure Iona's eyes match her hair. This means that she has purple eyes, which are my favorite if you couldn't tell. She also has a nice shape, with high corners and a strong tsurime. As opposed to her hair though is that Cure Fortune's eyes aren't that much different color-wise. They stay a fairly nice purple throughout, even in Innocent form. She does have visible eyebrows, but they're nothing compared to Hime's (or the Yes! Precure). Overall they're really nice eyes.
So what could make them even better? GLASSES! Sadly Iona only wears them on a single occasion as she doesn't actually need to use them. But in episode 27 she assumes a “teacher” Precard and, as figures, the outfit comes with a pair of glasses. They're an underframe version with red frames (seriously, is this a big fashion item? Not that I'm complaining, but still). They still look nice on her, though.
Grade: A-

Face: Iona's face is simple. While PreCure in general is a “simple” show HapiCha in general has a lot of simplicity. As a result Iona has a small nose (barely one at all) and a fairly small mouth as well. She doesn't get a lot of the comedic facial expressions either, but I don't mind. She's a serious girl at first, but calms down and smiles a lot more when she officially joins. It's a really nice smile. I also like the facial expressions she makes in the second eyecatch, they're funny xD.
While there's nothing overly wrong with Iona's face I do have some problems. There are times when she looks off . One moment that I've noticed quite a bit is that in the opening, when the camera zooms in on her face her eyes seem a bit further apart than they should be. That's a minor problem though. The biggest thing I dislike is Innocent Form. The girls put on make up while transforming and I'm not a big make up guy. Iona, being the last of the four, does her nails while wearing the make up the other girls put on during their turns. Her lipstick bothers me as does her blush. Still, it's better than Yuuko's where the blush is shiny so it looks like she's putting on clown make up. That said, Iona does have a nice face for my tastes.
Grade: B+

Body
Build: Sadly Iona doesn't have a great body for me. It happens with a lot of middle school girls it seems, especially in shows for girls. Not that there's anything wrong with that, though, better than not looking their age. Her body is fairly slender and not too impressive. Even her legs and arms aren't too defined. She does practice Karate and is one of the strongest at the dojo so I'm guessing her physical strength is fairly high. I'm pretty sure that she's tall too, being the tallest Cure of the four I think but not taller than her love interest Yuya.
Of course, we can't skip Iona's BEST feature. You see, much like Sunshine Cure Fortune also has a Tambourine and, like Sunshine again, smacks it against her butt for one of her attacks. And it's not like Sunshine's where it could somewhat be considered a “hip” strike, Fortune quite literally hits it against her butt. No wonder I've gotten used to calling that attack the Starlight ASScension! She does another hip-smack in her Pine Arabian outfit as well.
Grade: C+

Breasts: While it is likely that Iona has the biggest chest of the main four, just guessing, she's still quite flat. Unfortunately Yuuko is the one that gets all the busty fanart it seems.
Grade: D+

Clothes: As a purple Cure Iona tends to wear purple. About the only outfit that isn't is her school uniform which is a basic (and boring) red-and-white sailor uniform with a red frilled skirt. Luckily we don't see her like that too much. Her normal outfit consists of a purple shirt and miniskirt. She also wears a karate uniform in some episodes and seems to have a black belt too. Speaking of sports she wears a soccer uniform in one episode, a blue one with red stripes, and it looks nice as it's tight on her butt. She also dresses up as a fortune teller in both the school festival and the second eyecatch. She also wears various Precards. There's the aforementioned teacher in a suit (probably my favorite for obvious reasons), a necktie-having police officer (at least in official art), and probably loads others I'm forgetting. Oh, and the “Commemoration card” seems to be only for the 500th episode “Thanks” but it seems to consist of a short pink shirt with a green tank-top underneath, a yellow ruffled skirt, and pants that are rolled up to the knee. She also seems to wear a fancy dress in the movie, but I don't think that's out as of this writing.
I can't forget her Cure outfit(s) though. Cure Fortune wears a black vest over a white blouse/shirt, a wavey purple skirt that's longer in the back, and long gloves and stockings to give her absolute territory. It's not too terrible but it's not unique as most HapiCha Cures look similar. As far as her in-Cure costumes there's Pine Arabian and Anmitsu Komachi. In Pine Arabian Iona's top seems to be two pieces, with turquoise on top with a gold heart on her chest with a lighter-colored bottom part and gold designs along with a short skirt-like lining. The sleeves are shoulder-length and lighter in color. She also wears puffy turquoise pants with gold heels with turquoise tips and ankle bracelets. She wears two gold bangles around each wrist. In her Anmitsu form she wears a light purple kimono with detached sleeves, shoulder pads have wavy cuts roses, the nagajuban neck is red and the bottom of her kimono is a skirt like the petals of cherry blossoms, a red belt with purple obi-dome (belt clip) holding a heart with a cherry blossom in the center, and sleeves start from the middle of the forearm with purple grips and extend to her wrists, end in pink wavy cuts, while its extension have drawn a cherry blossom in pink stockings. Her geta sandals are purple with red grips. The Arabian outfit is sexier, but I do like Anmitsu more. Finally there's her Innocent Form. It does look somewhat bridal-like in design, with a mostly white dress though the skirt part is multicolored in pastels. Sadly most of Innocent Form is just a new attack, similar to the GoPri finishers.
Oh, and since Fortune hasn't had her transformation video have it here:

Grade: B+

Mind
Personality: Iona is a powerful hero when we first see her. She's even said by the enemies that she's the strongest Precure, but that's mainly because her older sister, Cure Tender/Maria, was captured. She blames Hime for this as well as her general incompetence, though it's Iona's fault as Tender took an attack for her. Iona even refuses to join their team at first unless Hime leaves. Then again she's not that great at teamwork as it takes having Cure Lovely stand up with her against the PreCure Hunter to even recognize that she needs help. This isn't counting the poor soccer episode where she wins the game nearly by herself, ignoring Hime, yet still learns the true meaning of friendship somehow. She doesn't join until after her cards are destroyed and the other girls allow her to wish for more, using the cards that they've collected (and yet this “wish” ability isn't used again). She has a strong sense of honor and that combined with her looks and aloofness may make me consider a blade-less “Honor Blade”.
Speaking of her aloofness, Iona is not a very social person. She's not in the same class as the other three girls and in general is hard to approach. She's also strict, ordering the others to actually train at the beach rather than have fun. Iona enjoys to laugh, but she's always too tense around others to do so. Overall I like how she slowly opened up to the group, especially Hime.
There's a few more bits of trivia I need to tell you about. Her symbol, as you can tell from her attacks, is the Star. She's also a skilled fortune teller (Fortune telling Cure Fortune; imagine that xD). She's a bit frugal, trying to use coupons or bargains whenever she can and keeping Hime from getting too much junk when they're out shopping. Finally she's voiced by Haruka Tomatsu, one of my favorite female VAs. She keeps Iona's voice from being too high, and in general it fits the character well. That said I do like some of the hammy attack names and such, though it helps that Iona is somewhat more serious than most other Cures.
Grade: A-

Libido: Iona's love life is actually somewhat strange. For one, unlike a lot of other Precure series it seems that she's not yuri. Well, not “officially” at least as she gets a date with an admirer named Yuya Kaido. Yes, that's a guys name and not a crossdressing Yuuko's persona (I say that as her nickname is “Yuuyuu”). Anyway, the two go on a date to the zoo together. Things get messed up but it seems that she may have fallen for him as they continue to date after that. The fact that she was the first went into Innocent form because of him is a bit out of nowhere, unless they hinted at his existence before hand. Yes, I'm a bit miffed at how thrown-in their romance seemed to be. A better developed pairing would probably be her and Hime. They actually didn't like each other but by the end they do get along and even get a cute shoulder-resting scene with her. She also deeply cares for her sister Maria, and while probably not a romantic option Iona does give a massage to her.
Grade: C+

Age: Much like many PreCure girls Iona is only 14. We do see her younger in a few flashbacks as well.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 68
Average score: 7.6
Final Grade: B

: I'm not sure if that's a good grade or not...

Well it is BUTTer, er BETTER, than Sumire last week, but as a whole it's not too great. You middle school girls from girl's shows don't usually do well.

: If only Zettai were doing us instead. But enough wallowing in your invalid and arbitrary grading system-Iona, defeat him!

: With pleasure!

*She pulls out a tambourine, with Topaz having a big grin on his face.*

: That smile is suspicious, but no matter. Destroy him!

: WITH PLEASURE! Starlight Ascension!

*Iona smacks the tambourine, including on her butt, to use the attack. Topaz is blown across the room, taking 30 damage. However, when the dust settles he's still on his feet.*

: W-what? He survived!

: NOBODY survives Cure Finishers! Well, I guess they do but that's what combination attacks are for. But enough of this nonsense. How were you able to survive?

You fool! I resist butt-elemental attacks! I'm not immune to them like Zettai, though.

: W-what? "BUTT" is an elemental now?

: Have they really ran that far out of ideas for new Pokémon? But don't let that phase you.

: Of course. Finishers aren't the only attacks I have- HIYAH!

*Iona punches and kicks Topaz. He's able to evade or block all of them.*

: What are you doing? You should have the powers of the PreCure behind you!

: I don't get it either. It's like SOMETHING is holding me back. Weakening me.

*It suddenly hits Makoto.*

: I've heard of this. Topaz can grant power ups with his blogs! Or, in this case, power YOU down!

: WHAT! How could he have such a powerful ability... But that just means I have to use stronger ones myself...Pretty Cure Sparkling Star Symphony!

*Iona's cards are mixed with another costume. Soon she's in a classic Japanese kimono used for dancing.*

: Anmitsu Komachi! Pretty Cure Sakura Blizzard Dance!

*Iona dances about with her tambourine and a whirlwind appears. Topaz manages to hang on, not getting swept away. Iona looks annoyed.*

: Even THAT attack had no effect. It seems that I'll have to just use my SUPER PUNCH!

What? That's not even an ability you have!

: That's fine, it's just a regular punch. Have at you!

*Iona runs towards Topaz, but as her fist nearly hits his face a voice is heard.*

: What's the meaning of all this!

: R-RIKKA! I thought you were taken away by this fiend! Where did you go?

: I was in hiding for bit, but after thinking I decided to follow him. However, it took a while for the elevator.

: Does this mean that Mana is back too?

: She SHOULD be, but she hasn't been answering her phone messages. I quite worried.

: It's all Topaz's fault I bet.

: But Topaz isn't even the one who BLOGGED Mana!

: Yeah right. Next you'll say that there's another person making blogs on anime girls!

B-but there is, and he's awesome!

: Stop it with your lies! Well, the fact that there is one, I'd imagine that he'd be better than YOURS at least!

It all depends on the girl.

: So you say, but enough horsing around! Iona, destroy Topaz!

: Not if I have anything to say about it!



: Do you really think that you'll be able to defeat TWO PreCure, Diamond?

: Of course! Diamond is unbreakable, you know! Now, Iona, prepare to take THIS! Raquel Butt Punch!

: Psst. Did she say "Raquel Butt Punch" or "Rocket Butt Punch"?

The former. The latter sounds like something one of Zettai girls would do.

*Diamond leaps rear-first towards Iona, making a clean hit.*

: OOOF! BARF!

: I would hope that's because of the meme and not what you think of my butt.

: Certainly not the latter. Your middle school butt was so soft yet intimidating.

: Thanks, I think. I imagine that your bottom is quite large and damaging as well.

: You guys need to stop getting so distracted!

Stop interrupting their sexy, sexy conversation, fun-stealer! No wonder the other Chess Pieces get so angry at you...

: That's ChessMASTERS! And while she may be a friend she's an enemy right now Iona. You can use what ever means you'd like!

: What ever means.... Alright then, Innocent Form go!

*Iona's outfit turns white with a rainbow skirt.*

: We'd better watch out, she's entering Parthenon Mode! We'll never be able to defeat her at this rate!

Don't worry. It's just the useless power up of Innocent Form.

: That's a relief. I was worried she would become too powerful for us to deal with!

: Don't underestimate Innocent Form, or I'll make you pay!

What will you do if we estimate Innocent Form correctly?

: You'd still pay!

Curse you extra charges!

: Don't worry, I've got this!

D-Diamond!

: Oh yeah? Prove it with THIS! Pretty Cure, Emerald Illusion!

*Iona draws a star in the air. After that she poses and a large star is shot from her chest. It surrounds Rikka and becomes a clear emerald.*

You call that an emerald? Geez, that's barely glass. Look, you can see through it!

: What, you don't like the name? It's got a stone in it and everything!

It does, but that's no excuse for making it sound like you pulled out random words from an English dictionary.

: Don't question the attacks. Besides, now that Rikka is trapped...

*Rikka's eyes snap open as she speaks. Within seconds Iona's Emerald cracks and shatters. Iona is in awe.*

: B-but it can't be! My Emerald Illusion should always work!

: You fool, no substance is harder than Diamond!

Yeah! Except maybe the heads of Mana fanboys...

& : What was that?

Nothing, just talking to myself.

: That's better. Now, *points to Iona* prepare to taste the strength of Topaz's second favorite PreCure!

: Nonsense, he likes ME much better!

: Enough of this! Raquel Butt Punch!

: Oh yeah? Take this: Starlight Asscention!!

*Rikka and Iona leap backwards at each other, hoping to hit the other with her middle school butt.*

N-no... It can't end like this!

*Topaz races towards them.*

: W-what are you doing? You can't stop them!

I CAN TRY! YAAAAAAA!!!!

*Topaz dives between the two girls who seem to be moving in slow motion. Both girls hit him in the head, squishing their buttocks against him. Topaz nosebleeds and falls back, having taking 55 damage.*

: T-TOPAZ! Are you alright?

I'm fine. But there's no reason to argue about being my second favorite. It's a hard decision, and BOTH of you have the potential to be my second favorite. Fortunately there doesn't seem to be any contenders that would knock you out of the tie.

: Not even a March “hare”?

: Or a Mermaid?

Certainly not. You two are both great! Come, let's go home.

*Iona and Rikka carry Topaz between their shoulders and walk his limping body out. Makoto stomps to gain attention.*

: First you make Mana leave this dimension, then you mess with Iona's mind and make her think you're Yuya. I can't stand for such disregard of the PreCure franchise. You'd better be prepared...


*Makoto transforms into Cure Sword.*

: Because I'll show you next week!

I think I'm good on what "games" are, but I think I get what your intentions are. You're going to battle me next time.

: That I am, so your reader had better keep paying attention!
Posted by emperortopaz | 02-19-15, 10:08 AM | 0 comments