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I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter.
Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners.
People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful.
I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body.
From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly.
If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege.


Thank you for being so understanding.