Statistics
All Anime Stats Anime Stats
Days: 494.3
Mean Score:
5.81
- Watching67
- Completed2,048
- On-Hold101
- Dropped36
- Plan to Watch1,331
- Total Entries3,583
- Rewatched468
- Episodes31,485
Anime History Last Anime Updates
Party kara Tsuihou sareta Sono Chiyushi, Jitsu wa Saikyou ni Tsuki
2 hours ago
Watching
10/12
· Scored
-
Shangri-La Frontier: Kusoge Hunter, Kamige ni Idoman to su 2nd Season
2 hours ago
Watching
9/25
· Scored
-
All Manga Stats Manga Stats
Days: 35.8
Mean Score:
6.89
- Total Entries118
- Reread1
- Chapters5,738
- Volumes444
All Comments (270) Comments
This had occurred when I was a child. Around the age of 12 or 13.
At that age is when I would start ejaculating during my sleep. I have no memory of ever masturbating as a child, and wasn't even sure I knew what masturbation was.
I was extremely sheltered. I didn't even have internet access as a kid. So it wasn’t like I could just look up pornography or anything like that.
When I started ejaculating in my sleep, I honestly didn't recognize what was going on at first. I thought that I was peeing my pants while I was sleeping. I thought it was strange, but it wasn't very often so I didn't give it a lot of thought.
Like I said I didn't have any access to pornography, but back when I was a kid really late at night some TV channels would play ads for Girls Gone Wild. I would often stay up really late to go into the front room to watch these ads. My face would be right up against the screen so that if anybody walked into the room they couldn’t see what I was watching.
One night I orgasmed while watching these ads on TV. I think this was when I made the connection, and realized that was my “seed.”
I had a general idea of how sex worked. The man’s seed gets in the woman’s egg and that’s how babies are made.
A few months later, after this happened, I learned that my mother was pregnant again.
I was upset when she told me. I was homeschooled and the oldest of 5 kids. When I learned I was going to have another sibling, my immediate thought was “Oh no, now I’ll have to help change diapers again and have to help with the baby.”
That was when I started thinking.
I realized my mother washed my clothes with hers. I thought about how I was ejaculating in my underwear. I started to worry that maybe the semen got off of my underwear and onto hers. I worried that my unborn baby brother was actually my son, and not my father’s.
I started having panic attacks related to this. I remember praying to God that my mother wasn't actually pregnant. I worried what would happen if the baby was born and it was my son instead of my father’s.
Would he find out? Would he try to kill me? I worried what my new baby brother’s life would be like. I started to wish he would never be born.
One day while my mother was very soon to give birth, one of my brothers had asked my mother to get some chocolate milk from the store. While my mother was out she got into a car accident which led to her having a miscarriage.
When I heard the news I didn't know how to feel at first. I didn't feel sad, but then I felt guilty for not feeling sad and crying, which in turn did make me sad and cry.
I started to feel guilt for praying that my mother wouldn't be pregnant. I started to wonder if it really was my fault. I wondered if I was responsible for the death of my baby brother or even my own son.
To this day, I can't even look at chocolate milk without feeling sadness and guilt.
New text Also don't try to be careful about it now because you can't get away with your actions and pretend you didn't since everyone know what you are up to.
Kap