| Except for the episode where the girls visit Bocchi and her parents make a ton of toxic comments, her family is shown as a cool and loving one. It's as unrealistic as it could be. When you have a loving family, you don't become an anxious, depressed trainwreck of a person. It's always, and I mean always, a product of shit upbringing. If you're like Bocchi, I'm sorry this show propagates the toxic idea that "this all is in your head", that this all is your own fault, that you're just some defective being that got this way for no reason except for... you know, you being you (an eyeroll). It's not your fault and you're not defective, you're not "damaged goods". You were mistreated growing up and as a result got brainwashed into subconsciously believing that you're just not worthy of any better. And it's not true, you deserve better and you are worthy. Start therapy if you can instead of thinking "if I'm supposed to find a band and become a star in order to heal then I'm doomed because that's never going to happen". If you can't start therapy, just start changing your life by believing for even 1% that you can heal... because you can. As someone who walked the walk, that 1% is all you need. Thanks for reading, much love |
| see you, space cowperson . . . |
| Lol this has to be one of the dumbest threads I've seen in some time |
| As someone with a good and lovely family who has social anxiety, I can tell you that it doesn't need to have a shitty upbringing to become like this. |
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| Peak ignorance you would expect from a MAL thread Reported |
One Piece episode 914 & 915 & 1027 were a mistake and 957 brought the salvation - FMmatron |
| Ehh, that was pretty random. |
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| no im just retarded bro its not that deep |
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| Sorry folks I didn't think my post would trigger and upset so many of you. Just ignore it if you disagree. It's meant for someone who needs to hear it zemeck said: no im just retarded bro its not that deep It is though and you're not... |
| see you, space cowperson . . . |
| @Yeagah But it is implied - that Bocchi is that way for no reason (her family being all "nice"), and it is implied that you have to do the impossible to "fix" yourself (all while being a super talented guitarist). I thought it was a harmful message, that's why I made this post. Most people are not ready to face and acknowledge things for themselves, that's why we have therapists. I'm not your therapist to actually give a comment on your story, but I see that you're doing a good job :] Yeagah said: how a lot of socially anxious people just didnt pick up on the social cues when it comes to interacting with others Who do you think this is learned from growing up? Just posing a question... I see that this topic upsets people more than I could ever imagined... I will not go further. ai8gr8b8m8 said: I have a super loving family and ended up having depression, self harm behavior (in past) and reclusive behavior? It's just not that simple. You can get these issues anyway. I never said it was simple... :[ |
| see you, space cowperson . . . |
| Bocchi's issues are not unrealistic, but slightlyt overexaggerated. And it's totally possible for family to not be understanding and supportive in those cases if they never experienced how it is like. There is even a saying "nobody will embarrass you harder than your parents." |
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smashsalmon said: fix yourself is a harmful message. But the message is to better yourself, Bocchi isn't doing anything she doesn't wanna do to "fix herself", she's doing things she wants to do but her social anxiety is an obstacle, that's just a normal thing to want to in some ways get over it so you can do things you wanna do. Also this is mostly a light hearted show with exaggerated scenarios for humor, not a psycholgical drama to dive deep into the reason she is this way. True healing comes when you realize you're precious and lovable exactly as you are, even while still anxious, "weird" and depressed... Well I saw it having a message that in order to escape your misery you have to get supernaturally lucky somehow and randomly get a place in a band + 3 friends, all while having a successful youtube channel because you're so talented... which is extremely depressing, because this scenario is so unrealistic ofc. I've got low tolerance for harmful messages in any type of media, also this stuff gets to you even if you're not realizing it and just trying to have fun. Anyways I just thought we could discuss these topics peacefully. Yeagah said: Dude, something tells me you haven't heard of a thing called autism. Or wait, is that picked up from family behavior too lol? People can have loving families and grow up around people their age, and still not pick up on social cues. That is an inherited trait far more often than when it originates from family behavior. And I did have therapy when I was young. Lots of it, and it certainly was effective. But it doesn't automatically get rid of social anxiety by the time you're done. As harsh as it may sound to you, the steps taken to overcome social anxiety almost always have to be taken by the person themselves. They have to learn to be able to find others that they can talk to about their interests, and open up to them. And its not even remotely as "impossible" as you make it sound. That's what I've been doing recently, and it's really helped me become less nervous. Look, this is not to devalue your own experience. I'm simply saying that its not every socially anxious person that has a terrible family. Bocchis family are teasing her purely for comedic effect, and it's never taken farther than that. This is not about autism though. Why would it sound harsh? This is exactly what I'm saying in my initial post, that you have to start going in the desired direction yourself, preferably by starting therapy. Because that's how you heal in real life. This thread is my personal opinion and we can respectfully agree to disagree. :] Bocchi's family is toxic, their comments are not funny and ruin Bocchi's self-esteem even further, them thinking so low of Bocchi and not believing in her is extremely harmful. They are not supportive, not kind, not loving. The metaphor would be a poisonous sweet strawberry cake. |
| see you, space cowperson . . . |
| TL;DR, You can always improve your healthy situation with an loving family that TRULY loves you and not sees you as some piece of trash, sorry for all of you who are going through this. |
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| The obvious answer is yes, you should seek therapy if you have issues with your social anxiety. Imagine an anime about a girl going to psychotherapy and talking about her problems instead of finding odd friends that can create comedic situations. Now, let's reverse and think about how the own anime shows some basics about the recognition of negative ideas and the contrast to real consequences with an exaggerated veil for comedy reasons. I had hard social anxiety during my teenage years, I excelled at academics (Which made me worth of attention), and had a loving family (That made me feel extremely awkward), and had a really good group of friends (That couldn't read my thoughts). There was literally nothing that made me socially anxious except my tendency to overthink everything, and CBT helped me to understand that. And hey, I'm way happier not having social anxiety Sorvarin said: Well I saw it having a message that in order to escape your misery you have to get supernaturally lucky somehow and randomly get a place in a band + 3 friends, all while having a successful youtube channel because you're so talented Yes, if you are socially anxious and you don't seek therapy then your best option is to be lucky and find friends that adopt you, how are you even going to do that yourself? Her family should have pushed therapy |
| I have a great family and still suffer from heavy social anxiety. Stupid thread, you don’t know how social anxiety works. |
under”Mebius” is my salvation  |
Willology said: your blanket statement on how mental disorders develop is... troubling, to say the least lmao and also @Yeagah - I specifically said "people like Bocchi" so why are trying to make something different out of this, I'm not sure. @Gween_Gween I thought it was a good idea to start a conversation about real life "Bocchis", but looking at the responses I guess I was wrong and it'd be better to delete this thread. I assume I worded it in an especially triggering way too - not intentionally of course. Good job, I healed too. So you think it was your fault you got this way? This is not what a person should decide for themselves... that there was no reason. And what's the only implication? - that it was your own fault, is it not? I've never heard a specialist saying anything like that, ever. I don't think it's beneficial to think like that. to say the least... Anyways thank you for your chill response. |
| see you, space cowperson . . . |
| @capta1nseal That's what I believe in too, aside from the fact that in my opinion family environment plays the most important role. I studied this stuff and could link an article of studies on SAD... which is no one going to read. So I won't. But if anyone's interested in actual studies by chance, even one person, I'm going to copy-paste this part under the spoiler: But thank you for your nice response! I wish I worded my post differently so it could be perceived as a positive message like yours too... like I intended it to be. |
| see you, space cowperson . . . |
Sorvarin said: I've never heard a specialist saying anything like that, ever. My specialist didn't say that it was my fault but taught me how to identify the distortions of my social processing, which were my responsibility to heal. The source of those distortions is life experiences that are not traumatic at all, like being a shy kid in elementary school or dealing with some weight issues during early middle school, kids are cruel and there is nothing that can fix that. By the way, I can agree that they went too far with the parent's cruelty in the anime, I think that they were trying to portray the awkwardness of parent's behavior and decided to not fully trust the audience about identifying it without exaggeration |
Sorvarin said: being like Bocchi isn't always the result of a shitty upbringing, believe me, it might also be a personality issue; I myself am reeeeally introverted yet I have a loving familyExcept for the episode where the girls visit Bocchi and her parents make a ton of toxic comments, her family is shown as a cool and loving one. It's as unrealistic as it could be. When you have a loving family, you don't become an anxious, depressed trainwreck of a person. It's always, and I mean always, a product of shit upbringing. If you're like Bocchi, I'm sorry this show propagates the toxic idea that "this all is in your head", that this all is your own fault, that you're just some defective being that got this way for no reason except for... you know, you being you (an eyeroll). It's not your fault and you're not defective, you're not "damaged goods". You were mistreated growing up and as a result got brainwashed into subconsciously believing that you're just not worthy of any better. And it's not true, you deserve better and you are worthy. Start therapy if you can instead of thinking "if I'm supposed to find a band and become a star in order to heal then I'm doomed because that's never going to happen". If you can't start therapy, just start changing your life by believing for even 1% that you can heal... because you can. As someone who walked the walk, that 1% is all you need. Thanks for reading, much love |
| @Gween_Gween Yes but what your own conclusions are? Why did this happen? That's the most important thing. As you may know, no matter what a child goes through, they unconsciously decide that it's their own fault. But it's even worse when a person don't recognize any outside cause at all and thinks that they are "just" broken and that is why their life is that way and it can't be helped... because they are forever broken, on a fundamental level. I felt so deeply sad in my heart watching Bocchi's struggles in the latest episode, and in a moment, this post was made. I wanted to tell to those who needed to hear it that it's never your fault and you can heal even without such fantasy scenarios... looking at it now, even if you disagree with my point of view (that family situation plays the most important role), I don't think that my post is terrible. Still, I recognize that I triggered a lot of people and I wish I found a better way to relay my message... I'm sorry. That being said, this post has gathered an overwhelming amount of not so joyous reactions and I couldn't figure out how to delete the thread so I'm just going to remove this from my watched topics, and I recommend everyone to just stop replying and let it quietly slide into oblivion. Thank you everyone who was polite, and well everyone else too. I love you all and wish you the best. I will not read anyone's replies anymore, if you want to tell me something nice, drop a message somewhere else. |
| see you, space cowperson . . . |
| Unrealistic? It's an anime ffs. |
\  |
MadanielFL said: As someone with a good and lovely family who has social anxiety, I can tell you that it doesn't need to have a shitty upbringing to become like this. Shhhh. You're the exception, it seems. |
 -[ ~♫~ ll Credit ]- |
| It seems this show also appeals to ADHD folks. Sad to see people here zero in on the family argument. I definitely agree with the show propagating that its all in your head. The repetitive comedy surrounding that is just not well executed. |
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