What's your role in your dysfunctional family?
| Sorry, just going through a rough time and wondering how everyone else feels. I am the scapegoat of my family, but i'm also partially the lost child. SOmehow, someway, every time something goes wrong, it's MY fault even if i did nothing wrong. And if someone treats me badly, it's always my fault somehow. Like if someone went in my room and stole something, it's magically my fault for not locking the door to my room or hiding my money. If i try to present proof that i know who did it or explain how i know, it goes in one ear and out the other. If i'm verbally abused or insulted by anyone, nobody ever apologizes to me because i "MUst have egged it on somehow". Or if i stand up for myself, i'm at fault for that too, somehow. But my family also tends to just not really bother with me. When i do ask or need something, it's always treated like a burden or an inconvenience. And if i bring this up, they'll bring up the last time i asked for something, which was usually more then 6 months ago. So that's why i consider myself i lost child as well. |
| My waifu is the most wonderful waifu. Mai Valentine. We're freaking out that we're running out of time, but to do what? Should i stop and think of that? Is there something i could do to slow it down? Live in a day for once, instead of watch it sprinting by |
| It's so dysfunctional I take on all roles depending on various circumstances lmao |
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| Sorry to hear that. Well, about my family. We keep in touch with each other. Our mom is doing fine. Living a healthy life. We all have jobs, and we cut part of our salaries and transfer them to her bank account + we take her to shopping every 3 weeks or a month. Also when any of my siblings would hang out, they take her with them. Anything she asks for we provide it to her. Ever since our father passed away in 2017, something in us changed. We miss father. We pray for him. Life goes on. |
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| idk when a family is dysfunctional, but lost child seems most suitable of these options. |
| My big sister kinda was the golden child? But I wasn't really the scapegoat. My parents always treated us equally but it always have been quite obvious to me that they cared more about her. She always have been way too smart and always been in classes dedicated for gifted students, while I was just good enough. Because of that, they clearly had more expectations of her, and didn't have much for me. Not that I cared much to be honest. But my sister lived up to their high expectations: highly educated, an overly high income, and happily married with a child. On my end, I lived up to their low expectations, I guess? Always got moderate successes. Always had good jobs but nothing too fancy. No plan to ever get married or to have/adopt children. Into a relationship with the wrong gender (to repeat the words of a few seething family members). But I LOVE my sister. She's the nicest woman on Earth, with not a single ounce of toxicity to be found. We have completely opposite personalities; we would never have been friends if we weren't sisters. She's always calm and serious while I'm weird and silly. Anyway, I am rambling a lot! All of that to say that we kinda have a golden child in my family, but it never really was something negative. |
| My family was dysfunctional to the point where I think it did irreversible damage to my brother and me. |
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| Dysfunctionality seems to be the norm sadly. Sucks to hear it is that way for you too. My role was the eldest brother in a sense. During the long and messy divorce I had to spend time being the parent early on. After our mother kidnapped us and took us to a shelter, under false pretenses, I played a role being s protector and that continued until I became an adult since my mom was a druggy fuck up. With my father I was more of an outcast since my development got super fucked up and I became hard to deal with, troubled/rebellious in a sense. Things are okay now but I struggle to interact with my family since I have deep scars over it all and in general struggle with that kind of bond. Alot of this I'm not safe about anymore atleast beyond I wish I could interact with family normally but things are okay now i would say. |
  ♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
| Terribly dysfunctional. I've had my entire life in ruins but I guess there was nothing to ruin to begin with. |
| ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡜⠈⠁⠀⢸⡈⢇⠀⠀⢣⠑⠢⢄⣇⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⡟⡀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠈⢆⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⣧⠀⢿⢠⣤⣤⣬⣥⠀⠁⠀⠀⠛⢀⡒⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⢠⠃⠱⣼⡀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠳⠶⠶⠆⡸⢀⡀⣀⢰⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⣼⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠢⢄⡔⣕⡍⠣⣱⢸⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⡜⡨⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢛⠽⠗⠁⠀⠁⠊⠀⡜⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠔⣁⡴⠃⠀⡠⡪⠊⣠⣾⣟⣷⡦⠤⣀⡈⠁⠉⢀⣀⡠⢔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⡗⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢑⡨⠊⡀⠤⠚⢉⣴⣾⣿⡿⣾⣿⡇⠀⠹⣻⠛⠉⠉⢀⠠⠺⠀⠀⡀⢄⣴⣾⣧⣞⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠒⣉⠠⠄⡂⠅⠊⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢠⣷⣮⡍⡠⠔⢉⡇⡠⠋⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ |
| Sweet heart every family is dysfunctional, there's different levels to it. I'd said we were a 2 on the dysfunction scale. |
| I'm sorry your situation isn't good. I would say my family generally functions fine, and that none of the above really apply to me. |
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| It got pretty dysfunctional at times, starting when we tried getting treatment for our organophosphate poisoning that 4 of the 5 us got from my mother's workplace. And well, instead of that they blamed my mother for all of that, as well as abusing me and making me think I was just unwell, all that launched all kinds of hell. Before all of this though, my family was pretty happy & normal. My Dad had a well-earning job, my mother less so but it fitted in and around us kids. Myself and my middle sibling went to private schools, although I eventually decided to quit going to school, as I'd already missed a year being treated in hospital and when I returned I was terribly bullied and was miserable. Also social services could have taken me from there, but more of that in a bit. I had care orders out for me because of the lies, starting from about 8 - 16 or 18 years old, I honestly don't remember? My middle sibling had them too, but she was 6 years older than me, so was reaching the cut off age, also one of her doctors altered her DOB to make her a year older, so that helped her, so most of the focus was on me. I had instructions drilled into me if social services came for me out and about somewhere, ask for my lawyer and sisters. If I was at home I was to hide in the eaves in the attic of our main home. I don't know for how long they were actively coming for me, but I know that they did as I saw them at the hospital I was being treated at, and neighbours at our main home said that they went round to theirs looking for me. I hope I cost them lots of time and money. My parents legally separated after they both retired early because illness wore them down, and I went to live with my Dad for a few years as I was meant to be with a "safe parent" we still would meet up at our house or at a service station in-between us. It was an odd arrangement, but my parents tried to make it as normal and as fun as they could. We lost contact with quite a few family members for reasons we don't fully know, maybe from fear or a weird kind of jealousy, as we were often in the media (me especially). My mother wanted my eldest sis to stay away from us as much as she could, as she was worried they would be caught up in our legal hell, as she had very young kids. And I think this has made her not very understanding of us and the situation we were in, as she somehow avoided the poisoning and sometimes I think she thought we were just being silly. I think I was always the least capable of my family. I didn't have a full education, was extremely sheltered for obvious reasons and didn't have much planned for my future. I think my parents could have encouraged me a lot more, but I was know how difficult it was for us to plan things, as we were waiting to see what would happen with our legal cases. We absolutely should have had compensation and deliberate mistakes made correct, maybe even records sealed, at the very least witness protection or new identities. With these we may even have had to leave our country willing or perhaps not. Through all this though, my middle sibling (sister) was still able to make good her talents. She wrote an unpublished novel, went to acting lessons, went to auditions for pop groups and was runner up in Miss Wales on year. She was amazing... My Mother gained lots of experience of inner workings legally, medically and in government because of our hassles, and my Dad helped with tactics. My parents had big plans for the future, but again, these would have depended on our case outcomes. But somewhere around this time, both my sister and father suffered numerous strange breakdowns, and because our NHS medical records were still incorrect, got mistreated and were treated as normal patients, not considering their very serious allergies, also they ignored our wishes to be treated in other facilities as we had our own for poisoned patients (which we had). I was basically a carer for them, until care teams decided my sister wasn't to stay at home, and my parents passed away. Currently I feel quite detached from remaining family. I don't see my middle sibling, as she doesn't remember me anymore. My eldest sis I see maybe every fortnight, I feel like I've gotten to know her better, but I still feel like a burden as there's so much life stuff I don't know about. My niece & nephew both have partners and mainly do stuff with eachother and those that they know. I feel so far behind them in life, don't have friends or a partner and feel still quite uncertain about things, as I don't think we had favourable outcomes, but even if we did, it probably wouldn't change much. No money in the world can buy all what we've lost. |
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| My family life is literal hell with unsupportive parents who really don't want to understand me becuase of me being trans and Autistic. My mom is like actively transphobic and homophobic towards me and treats me like crap and gives me more shit than my brother just because I am different and "not normal". Wish they'd put in effort to undestand and support me instead of being so caught up in appearances and the past |
This post is brought to you by your local transfem gamer goblin. Will not tolerate bigotry and will fight against "anti-woke" sentiment to make the anime community a safer place.  |
| These threads are hardly worth replying to tbh. |
| Here is my Pixiv account of my hentai drawings..... https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/104739065 Here is my blog.... https://theendofindustrialcivilization.blogspot.com/?m=1 |
DesuMaiden said: These threads are hardly worth replying to tbh. We know you're the unwanted child, after birth that is. |
| I think it's better to avoid labelling yourself as any of those "roles", ruminating on it only leads to a victim mindset. If you're an adult you can take action and responsibility to change your life even if it means cutting off family |
| I'm sorry @cells but all those terms happen to real. The fact you're acting like it's a form of victimization is startling. Tell me, if you don't know what it's like- don't comment on it. These happen to be terms used in psychology. They aren't made up so people can "play" victim. Get real. |
| Children are bound to exhibit some of those traits even in a functional family, but it is unfortunate to see that persist into your adulthood. |
| その目だれの目？ |
| My role is to run away and never look back and start my own life away from all the craziness |
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