emperortopaz's Blog

September 14th, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-fifty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are continuing to go up the steps of Mount Time. Behind them is a girl with twintails skipping about.*

: Hey! I have a name, you know!

Of course. The narrator was just giving a description of the scene. I'm sure that my readers know that you're Lingyin, who we just looked at last time.

: If not, they should review the past blogs. That way they'll figure out that you're doing a special tribute blog for one of your friends.

: I remember you mentioning something about that. Where is this "friend" of yours?

Oh, he won't be joining us.

: Wait, what kind of tribute blog is this? At least back when you did Charlie he joined us.

And then he got turned into a magical girl monster of the week.

: So? At least then we'd have an interesting battle.

Plus Charlie is a special exception. I mean, we actually had a blog on one of his characters at one point. Though being fair he's not creative and that means over two thirds of his characters.

: That is true, though it was before my time.

That it was. Sadly the MAL version of that blog is ruined due to website issues. For those that would like to read it, I'll suggest reading it at my wiki. Someday I'd like to have all my blogs on that site...

: That's never going to happen. You can barely keep up as it is.

Sadly that is true. Even Charlie forgets that the blogs are on Thursdays.

: Being fair that's sort of a running joke at this point.

: Running jokes aside, isn't it about time to introduce the girl?

Probably. I just hope that I don't get crashed into like last time!

: Specifically by a mecha musume!

: I said I was sorry about that!

: But not on camera...

: Fine then, I'm sorry!

Don't worry, Lingyin. I'm sorry too.

: But you didn't do anything wrong...

Well, let's just say that I'm apologizing in general. For a great deal many things, both for me personally and for terrible things happening this week.

: Don't worry. I'm sure Zettai understands!

One can only hope.

*Suddenly a wormhole opens up and a tall pink-haired girl exits.*

: Hmm? Did I hear something about "Hope"?

You must have good ears to have heard that. But yes, we did mention it.

: He's not an "it", he's a young boy!

: That just seems problematic and confusing. Speaking of being confused, who do you think you are?

: I'm Lightning.

: That sounds like a silly name.

: ...It isn't my birthname. I'd give you that, but I really don't trust you enough. "Lightning" suits me just fine.

Well then, welcome Lightning. I'm Topaz and this is Ririchiyo and Lingyin. We're going up Mount Time to train at the summit.

: I see then. This being Mount Time does make sense for me to appear. I've been traveling in stasis, and I must have gotten lost.

: What's stasis?

: One of the most annoying Magic decks... Wait, no. It means that she was sleeping for a long time.

And be glad that Lightning didn't use terminology that would require readers to look up a glossary.

: I am also here to save the souls of humanity.

: That's good. Topaz's soul needs all the saving that he can have.

: Really? Well then, what can I do for you?

Let me talk about you in my weekly blog!

: Er, what does that mean?

: It means that he'll talk about you for a bit. Maybe have some fanservice or something. Nothing two painful.

: There may also be a battle involved. Maybe.

Probably not.

: Harumph. Well, it seems that the fates have brought me to this location for a reason. If that reason is to be talked about, I won't complain.

That's actually refreshingly helpful.

: I imagine that it helps that she's used to being a L'Cie, and by not doing her focus so she'd become a monster.

: That sounds awful. What happens if she does do it?

: I get frozen in crystal until the next time I get a focus.

: That sounds really stupid.

Like a lot of things in Final Fantasy XIII I imagine...

*Lightning whips out her gunblade and places it near Topaz's neck.*

: I believe that I misheard you. What did you say?

*Topaz gulps* I-I have no strong feelings on the game whatsoever!

: That's what I thought.

*She pulls her weapon away, and Topaz rubs his neck.*

Sheesh. I hope that you won't be doing that the entire blog.

: I cannot make promises.

That's understandable, I guess. Now, let's celebrate this week by saying...

: Wait-Why do you have such a poor picture for me when you have a better one available?

It's become tradition to use that sort of picture for Final Fantasy characters. Especially as a lot of them don't have images on MAL.

: If only there were a Final Fantasy VI manga or something. You'd think that it would be obvious.

Or Final Fantasy IV!

: Whoa, don't get carried away. We don't want them to think of even more fanfic ideas like The After Years...

: All your words don't make sense. Especially the fact that this girl is also called Clair or something.

: Ah, I suppose that to talk about me you'd have to mention my true name.

Yes, or at least the overseas version. In Japan you were called Éclair.

: Sounds delicious.

That's why they didn't want to keep her name.

: Can't you Westerners think of anything else but food? Sheesh...

Mmm... food. Wait, I have a blog to get to! Let's get started now!

Hair: Lightning has somewhat troubling hair. Then again I may be biased against the high-def new fangled games kids are playing these days, and Lightning is one example. Anyway, one of the problems is that she does have pink hair. Nothing wrong with pink hair, but this is one of the cases where too much of the cast has the same color (at least the female cast). There's too many pink haired girls in the cast, as out of the four girls only Fang is an exception. I do suppose that it makes sense for Lightning and Serah to match hair colors due to being sisters, but still. Early art seems to have had Lightning be brown (or silver, but that color was given to Hope), which wouldn't have been too awful. As far as length, Lightning's hair isn't too bad. It's about chest length, though that's because it's resting on her shoulder. Her bangs are fairly basic, with a part on the left and a windswept look. She has some spikes in the front as well, which reminds me of Cloud's hair somewhat (though not as Chocobo-like). That said, while pretty bland I wouldn't say that it's too terrible, but my main problem is that it looks like Lightning's hair is either wet or greasy for some reason. Again that may just be me hating on the 3D graphics, but I'm not a big fan.
Grade: C+

Eyes: Lightning's eyes are officially said to be blue, but there are green aspects in them. The model makes it difficult to tell just looking at her, though it could be because Lightning has somewhat narrow eyes. Not slit-like, but narrow seems to be how a lot of Final Fantasy heroines are designed (ever since Rinoa, though it did skip IX). Nothing too interesting, but there was one thing that does help Lightning in this area. In Lightning Returns she wears sunglasses, in a cutscene no less. They're cool ones, with butterfly-like wings on the end pieces (that's the outer edge of the frame). She also has a lot of glasses adornments in that game as well, so you can customize her to wear glasses. And really, that's a good gameplay mechanic. So, not too interesting but nice glasses.
Grade: B-

Face: I suppose that we have to discuss my problem with 3D graphics here too. Overall I'm not a big fan of the faces in this game, Lightning included. In particular her face is somewhat masculine, though that may be because she's based off Cloud and Squall. She also has a fair-sized nose which is a downside as always. She has it in some 2D appearances as well, including art for Dissidia. Overall not overly bad, but not something I'm a big fan of.
Grade: B-

: So what do you think of the blog so far?

: Not bad, I suppose. I can't say I was expecting that much. It does sound like you really know your things.

Thanks for saying that!

: You must have played the game quite a bit to know all that.


*Topaz looks to the side, trying to hide his ignorance.*

: You DID play my game. Even if it's just the first.

: You know Topaz doesn't have time to play games anymore. He barely has time to watch other people play them. In fact, that's likely how he knows so much about you, Lightning. Right, Topaz?


*Topaz continues to turn away and sweats profusely. He gets smacked on the head by Ririchiyo.*

: TOPAZ! What have we told you about doing girls you're not familiar with.

Sorry about that, I couldn't think of any other better girls to do.

: Well, what other games does he like.

I'm pretty sure the God of War series has even less girls than Final Fantasy...

: Well, there's always that one angel he likes from Magic.

I'm not doing a blog on Avacyn, Riri. Even if it would turn out better than some of the other Innistrad angels. Poor Gisela. And Bruna. And Brisela.

: Wait, I'm lost I think...

: Well, you see the angels got melded together due to eldrich horrors...

: I think that's more confusing than I was to begin with. Maybe we should just drop it...

A fine idea. Then we can get back to Lightning's blog.

: Just one question. How do you know me so well?

Well, I did play-

: Don't say the Theatrhythm Demo, Topaz. That doesn't count.

Certainly not. I was about to say that she's one of my best units in Record Keeper.

: What's that?

: Some dumb phone game or something. And it's not like Topaz really WANTS you to be one of his strongest. Blame the gatcha seeming to favor you for some reason.

Luckily my Faris is strong too.

: I don't mind, but how are you going to figure me out just through that?

It does give a summary of the games. Plus I read about you quite a bit.

: I guess that's enough. Hopefully...

True. Speaking of which, let's get on with the show!

Build: Lightning does surprisingly poorly here. Her height is fine, being a nice and tall 171 cm (though I suppose compared to some of the other Final Fantasy characters that seems short. Even Snow from her game is an even 200 cm). Sadly this is as good as she gets. She's pretty slender, both her body and limbs. She is pretty strong and acrobatic, which is good, but sadly even though she shows off her legs well they aren't too meaty. Lightning also has a navel piercing, if one that's hard to see (and she loses it in XIII-2). Sadly even though she seems to show off her ass a little they didn't give her any animation so it sadly looks flat and unmoving. Her ass is in fact so bland that people have compared it to a pancake and said that she literally had no butt, just that her thighs connect to her back. Obviously this is awful. In general she's not too interesting and very bland, outside of her somewhat-tall height.
Grade: C-

Chest: The fact that Lightning doesn't show off too much does help a little here. Her chest isn't too big, looking about normal for an adult (and Fang, from what I've heard, is more of a chest girl). Some of her garbs in Lightning Returns do show off her cleavage and she has some slight bounce, but it's quite hard to notice from what I've heard (if the people who mentioned it didn't just imagine it). I would also mention that her L'Cie brand is on her left breast above her heart. There is an advertisement which focuses on this mark, but I want to imagine that was unofficial and won't count it (it was from the art director of Deus Ex, another Square Enix franchise).
Grade: B-

Clothes: Lightning does alright here. In the first game she mainly wears an altered Guardian Corps uniform, which includes a white dress and shorts, with accessories like a pauldron, silly boots, blue gloves, a cape, and a couple of belts to carry her sheathes. She seems to have shorts on under it, but it looks a little hard to tell. In XIII-2 Lightning wears a Valkyrie outfit, commonly called a "Knight of Etros". This is a black suit of armor with exposed shoulders and a bit of her thighs too. She also wears a terrible white feathery skirt in back and tall boots. It looks cool, but isn't especially sexy. She also has a more-complete suit of black armor called the "Savior". Most of her upper body is covered, though she has boob-plates which are pretty stupid. Lightning also carries a red shield and has tall boots as well. Of course, the best outfits are Lightning's many garbs in Lightning Returns. These include outfits based on former Final Fantasy characters including Faris, Locke, Cloud, Aeris, and Yuno. She also has a moogle lover outfit with many plush moogles hanging off (at least, I hope they're plush...). There are a lot of different outfits in her garbs as well, many of which are suits of armor, suits in general (which I like), revealing outfits like the succubus-like Nightmare, and beautiful dresses. Overall, while too many garbs to list Lightning gets quite a bit of help from them and gets a good score here.
Grade: B

: I'm still surprised you've found out so much about a girl you didn't know too much about.

Yeah, that sort of thing happens when researching.

: You must be a pretty good friend to work as hard as you have.

: You have no idea...

Personality: Lightning is the type of girl who I want to like more. She has a lot of traits I like, but there's something holding her back. For the good points she is somewhat-masculine and determined, with a somewhat-strong force of personality. Lightning is also somewhat snarky from what I can tell, and is a protective if aloof older sister. In fact, her parents died so she had to raise her sister Serah and go on many journeys to rescue her. After high school Lightning joined the Guardian Corps Bodhum Security Regimen and did quite well it seems. It sounds like she also lashes out at others, blaming the ones responsible for Serah getting captured. She also travels with Hope, meaning the character, and slowly seems to open up. It seems that in Lightning Returns she continues to be cold, due to losing her emotions in the time between the stories (though it's implied that she gave them up herself). Still, she's a cool character and I probably wouldn't mind her (especially if she was in a better game...). Lightning is voiced by Maaya Sakamoto in the Japanese versions and Ali Hillis in the English versions (blame most of the videos I looked at being in English for me mentioning her). Both suit her pretty good, with Maaya probably doing better, but as mentioned I don't know how it sounds in the actual game. Maaya is probably most famous these days for doing Shinobu from the Monogatari series, but other major roles include Ciel from Kuroshitsuji, Makoto from Ghost in the Shell, and strangely enough Aeris (which I imagine makes Dissidia games sorta silly to listen to xD).
Gameplay-wise Lightning is sort of a Red Mage, able to use both physical attacks and magic well. She can use the Commando, Ravager, and Medic classes to start with, meaning she's a physical attacker, magical attacker, or healer (though after a certain point she's able to use the other classes). She has the second-best attack and magic in the game, though this seems to be balanced by her weapons not giving as much stats as other peoples. She also has the second-lowest hit points in the game. Her Full ATB skill, which seems to be the game's equivalent to Limit Breaks maybe, is "Army of One" (or, depending on game, "Legion of One"). It's good in that it hits 11 times it seems, and can be spammed using a certain weapon. She gains more attacks in XIII-2, including Lightning Strike, Focused Bolt, Graviton Mines, and War's Benediction as well as the defensive Ullr's Shield. In addition, her personal Eidolon in the series is Odin which is, surprise surprise, lightning-based damage. As usual it's a mounted guy, but Lightning can ride alongside him.
Sadly, even with the cool older sister side and the nice combat abilities there is a problem with Lightning: her popularity. She's way too popular in general and has way too many cameos. In addition it's hard to say it wasn't intentional to make her overly popular or marketable either; her personality seems very in-line with popular past heroes like Cloud and Squall. She even has a gunblade, though they explain this by saying XIII was about "transformation" so it fits. To be fair she is a female lead, so some popularity is to be given, but she seems to get plastered on everything. She's even one of the three on the icon for Record Keeper, along with Cloud and Tidus (which is a shame as the art style seems to point closer to the SNES era). Lightning also has three games in the series, one of which has her name in it even. Granted she wasn't playable in XIII-2, at least not for a major amount of time, but still. She also had the strongest card in the Triple Triad mobile game (It had two A's, a 9, and a 7), though it got nerfed eventually (one of the A's became a 1). There's probably other things that I'm forgetting, but Lightning seems too manufactured or marketable to really appeal to me.
Grade: B-

Libido: Lightning's libido does seem pretty low. She really doesn't have much time for romance, and is the type of lead that really doesn't show too much interest. She's definitely more interested in the job than relationships. That said, there's still a spark or two. For one, there's a lot of sisterly affection she has for her sister Serah. Lightning really cares for her, even if she doesn't show it early on. Lightning also travels quite a bit with Hope, who is a 14 year old boy (well, it gets complicated due to all the time travel, but imagine him being younger than Lightning). She becomes somewhat like a mother or older sister to the young boy as well. While probably not as good as it seems, on paper that sounds to my liking but I doubt anything actually happens.
Grade: C+

Age: This is, for my purposes, Lightning's best area. That said, it is a little odd. The story starts at Lightning's birthday, and she's turning 21 from 20. Overall not too bad, easily enough to get max points from the get-go. She remains 21 for the majority of the series, which isn't too surprising. Then, due to being incased in crystal before the events in Lightning Returns (the third game) and being sealed for 500 years she's suddenly chronologically 521. That said, it hasn't effected her at all so I can't complain too much. She gets a great score here.
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 64
Average score: 7.1
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for the week!

: Hmmm. I can't tell if I did good or not.

Not too bad, but there have been better. I blame your flat ass and lack of libido.

: Whatever. But now that this "blog" of yours is complete what do you want me to do?

: Ooh! Ooh! You can come with us! I'm sure that Topaz would love more party members!

: He'd appreciate the help, but he'd likely be lazy with giving people good lines.

I have noted that I am quite terrible when it comes to writing. I just have foreshadowing down, and even then it's poor.

: I'm sure your readers still enjoy your blogs quite a bit! At least, when they're not terrible.

: Eh, I'm not too important. I figure that I've done my focus and-GET DOWN!

*Lightning pushes the other three down. Bullets seem to rain down from the side of the staircase above them.*

: What the? Who could be attacking us?

: It must be Futsure! I was wondering when she was going to ambush us!

Wait, does that mean you doomed us all?

: That's why I didn't say it out loud!

: Looks like it doesn't matter, we're still pinned down!

: Well, looks like it's up to me. Paradigm shift: Sentinel!

No, don't do that! You have low health!

: It's alright. I just need to take the heat off you three. Then you three will flank the attacker.

: I'm not sure how good we'll be. I don't have the energy to summon my Stratos, Topaz looks like a weakling, and I'm not sure about the other girl.

: I'm decent, but I'm not sure how well this will work.

: It'll have to work. I'm not letting you give up on your focus, Topaz!

It's just training that I have to do...

: Still though. We'll beat this foe together!

*Lightning runs off, avoiding the rain of bullets.*

Wow, look at her go and avoid all of the attacks.

: Enough feeling wowed by her evasion stat, Topaz. She'll probably not last long, so we should get going!

Good plan.

*Topaz, Riri, and Lingyin sneak up the stairs, trying to be stealthy. They manage to get on the other side of the girl, who is focusing her umbrella fire on Lightning running in a zig-zag fashion. Topaz leaps down*


: Gotcha.

*Before Topaz could attack Mirai grabs her grenade launcher, blasting Topaz in the chest. Fortunately he didn't take much damage, only dealing about 15.*

: TOPAZ! Are you alright?

Yeah. That weapon didn't do as much damage as I expected.

: ... How? *looks puzzled.*

: That doesn't matter! I have you right where I want you!

*Mirai drops the launcher and pulls out her umbrella again. However as she aims it at Topaz a gunblade is thrown at it, knocking it out of Mirai's hands. As the umbrella was open it starts rolling down the mountainside.*

: Oh no! My umbrella!

Thanks Lightning!

*Her voice comes out from the forest.*

: Don't mention it.

You going to come back here?

: No, I am good. You've gotten this far, and I'm not babysitting you against someone so young.

: I'm not that young, it's just that all the other girls in my series are such cows! Disgusting, mamocentric cows!

: I sure know what that's like...

: And as a result I'll be the one to force you to quit blogging!

I don't think that will happen.

: Oh yeah? Let's see what will happen when you talk about me!

You must be underestimating my feelings for you. But indeed, it looks like we'll be looking at the great Mirai next time!

: While I imagine Lightning is going to go find her gunblade. Seriously, I think it rolled all the way down the mountain after hitting the umbrella.
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 14, 8:08 AM | 0 comments
December 8th, 2016
This is the Four-hundredth-nineteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. Last week we looked at Ryouko.

: That's me, ufufu.

Also Ririchiyo didn't allow me to have any fun.

: That's because your form of "fun" makes people chew you out. And also I have to keep this blog clean and appropriate!

: That is a good plan. People these days are so i-immodest it embarrasses me just to watch!

: And believe me, considering our show it happens quite a bit.

: I suppose that this blog is still less perverse than To Love-Ru. Though that isn't saying much.

Right, that's like saying we're less perverse than DxD or Okusama. It's not a difficult task, and we even pull it off by being less mamocentric.

: Or at least he tries to be.

True, sometimes the girls are bad choices. No offense meant.

: None taken.

But enough about the fanservice of my blog, we need to get to the blog itself!

: Certainly, and I do believe that I was coming up next.

That's right, as promised last week...

*Suddenly a girl with heterochromatic eyes and an unbrella leaps out of the nearby supply closet.*

: SURPRISE! And I come with this...

Today's girl is:

Kogasa Tatara
The Touhou series

*The girl spins her umbrella, seeming proud of herself. The other girls are in shock, with Topaz being alright. Ririchiyo shakes her head, her hair looking beautiful as it goes back and forth.*

: That really astonished me!

No wonder you all flinched! Though I guess it doesn't have THAT good a chance.

: Hey, why didn't it affect you?

I'm normal, Ririchiyo.

: Curse you type immunities.

*As the two are complaining Ryouko and Oshizu regain their senses.*

: Who dares to come in and take my blog from me?

: They call me "Kogasa", and I'm here to get the yearly Touhou blog!

: Oh yeah, that was supposed to be last week wasn't it?


: Apologies for butting in where my fat 91 cm ass didn't belong though.

: Don't worry, I wasn't able to get out until now.

: Wait, you were trapped inside the whole time?

: Not really trapped, but I've waited patiently.

Good thing that this blog doesn't have an actual week between them sometimes.

: Time is relative.

: Please, do not ignore my query! I must know why you have decided to ruin my blog!

Don't worry, I'll do it next time. (Good thing this month has five Thursdays-er, I mean...)

: See? You'll still get a blog!

: Perhaps you should be the one who must be patient!

*Oshizu starts getting angry, but the tongue on Kogasa's umbrella licks up her body. She twitches as if paralyzed before fainting.*

: Oshizu! What happened?

: Seems like Lick was Super Effective, and it likely has STAB too!

And she's an Esper too, thus she takes 4x damage from Ghost moves!

: Like a Hoopa!

: Enough hooplah, I'll go take care of Oshizu. You can do this woman's blog.

*Ryouko carries Oshizu away.*

: Well, you should do as she says.

Don't worry, I plan on doing just that. Now, let's begin...

Hair: Kogasa has a fairly nice hairstyle. The main appeal is in the color, a lovely light blue. I would have enjoyed a darker color, but it does look really nice especially when contrasted with her dark purple umbrella. Speaking of the umbrella, I'm not sure if that's supposed to count as her headgear which almost every Touhou character is required to wear (otherwise she's one of the few that does not). Kogasa also has wavy bangs that are swept to the left. The sides of Kogasa's hair curls inward slightly, running even with her mouth or so. Sadly not everything is great. The biggest problem is that her hair is very short, not even reaching her shoulders even if it is free. That's likely her biggest problem and makes her seem a little bland (there's quite a few short-haired girls in the series, and it's not like Kogasa has interesting headwear either to help her stand out).
Grade: B

Eyes: Technically while Kogasa doesn't have headwear she DOES have a unique feature here instead. Yes, Kogasa has heterochromia which means she has two different eye colors. Her right eye is red and her left is blue. This plays up the fact that she's a karakasa obake which tend to only have a single eye. This makes more sense as her blue eye is the same color as her hair, meaning it's a little camouflaged. Sadly the problem is that this is Touhou and the actual games aren't known for having amazing art. As a result this means that Kogasa's eyes are extremely simple, being circles. As I'm not a fan of rounded tarame eyes this does hurt her a little bit. It's possible that they look better in the manga, but Kogasa is fairly new-wait, you mean her game came out in 2009? Man I'm behind as far as Touhou goes...
Grade: B-

Face: Anyway, getting back to Kogasa we arrive at her face. Sadly the art style of the games doesn't help her here either. She does look somewhat pale, though that may just be the game's palette. As an added plus she does have small features, including a dot nose which helps her a bit. Again she's a lot cuter in the manga, though I can't be sure how much she's featured. She's even usually missing a nose, which I do appreciate.
Grade: B-

: Did you know I have a brown eye too?

Such language! Where did you come up with such a thing?

: Some friends I met on the way here told me about it. They also asked for directions to one of your friend's houses.

: You pamper Zettai too much.

He deserves it though!

: Maybe, but hopefully he gets back into blogging.

He'd have to get his computer back, and he's planning on returning sometime next year.

: Good, I wonder what he's been up to...

: You know, maybe I shouldn't have thought about it...

: Hey, how did you know all the old ha- I mean delightful and young gals- I met on my adventure?

We have our ways. But enough of that-Unless I can have some fanservice?

: No.

Curses, though I'll try again next week. But for now let's continue onward!

Build: Sadly Touhou's art style does have a bit of trouble here too. Kogasa really doesn't show too much, and she doesn't stand out either. Her legs and feet are simplistic, even in the manga, and it's not like we get a good shot of her backside either. She's slender too, but I wouldn't consider to be one of the "loli" girls either as she looks pretty similar age-wise to the protagonists. I really wish that she could have better artwork, though not fan art either.
Grade: B-

Chest: It seems that Kogasa is flat, but it's hard to tell. Not that there would be a problem with her being flat, but Touhou usually doesn't focus on differences too much in official works. Like with her body I wouldn't mind if we could get a few good shots in, but I guess we can't have everything. That said it's likely that Kogasa is still slender, much like a lot of the characters, and if I could verify it better I'd probably give her a better grade. But between holding her arm in front of her chest in the game and wearing a heavy shawl in the manga it's surprisingly hard to estimate.
Grade: C+

Clothes: Kogasa only has a single outfit, though it's a fairly nice and unique one. Her main outfit consists of a white blouse with poofy shoulders and long sleeves, a blue vest that matches her hair color, a lighter blue skirt with some designs that reaches far down her thighs (though not to her knees), and geta. The geta are interesting as not only do the karakasa known for them but "Tanara" is a Japanese way of smelting iron and the blacksmiths would wear geta to avoid the heat of the floor. I will also say it's possible that Kogasa is wearing white pantyhose, but I imagine that's just her skin tone. In the manga she also wears a fluffy shawl. I suppose I can count her umbrella here (though it's wondered if Kogasa's human or umbrella form is "her"; the accepted answer being "both"). Anyway the umbrella looks like a fairly classic Japanese one, with a single large red eye in front and a zig-zag mouth with a tongue hanging out of it. It also has a bit of black at the top in the center, giving a somewhat eggplant motif.
Grade: B-

Personality: Kogasa's main ability is to surprise people, as she's a youkai (or more specifically a " karakasa obake", as mentioned before) that consumes a human's "surprise". Yeah, it sounds sorta odd to me too. I do hope that she doesn't starve though, considering she's somewhat poor at actually surprising people. That said, she does surprise the player as, while she was a stage boss she wasn't important to the plot but she still became the mid-boss to the extra stage. That said, Kogasa is likely one of the friendliest youkais in the Touhou universe as she doesn't try to harm or eat humans, only spook them a little. She even started to read ghost stories to improve her abilities, and come the next game she now lives in a graveyard where humans are already on edge. Her profile even mentions something similar to "She finally did it. Amazing." Before then it was more common for people to play along and act like she scared them as Kogasa has a habit of sulking and being depressed after failing to scare someone. In addition, from the descriptions of some of her spell cards it could be said that she has self-esteem issues as well. She even briefly considers going back to being a normal umbrella as then she'd be of some use, but fortunately she does not. In addition to her surprising hobby (meant in a literal way) Kogasa also has another talent that's explored in the manga. She's actually a skilled blacksmith, getting some of the powers of the One-Eyed Youkai of Kotoyouka. She goes out on that day making needles for people who are throwing theirs away (which includes Reimu, even if Kogasa gets beaten up a few times in the process). As far as attacks, it seems like she's able to rain down bullets and other storm-based powers (she even has a couple named after Bubble Bobble games). I was expecting her to just be about her surprises, but I guess she did actually surprise me by having more depth with her self-esteem problems and skill at blacksmithing. Overall pretty impressive for what basically comes down to a filler boss.

: Hey, filler can be awesome. Like with Vegeta being beaten up by a little girl!
Grade: B

Libido: Sadly Kogasa doesn't seem to show much libido. I don't even know if there's a main pairing for her, considering she's not involved with the story too much. I suppose that she may have some connection with Nue, as they are the mid-boss and boss of the extra level respectively. There's also the fact that Kogasa mentions sadism in Reimu's route, though considering Reimu was saying that Kogasa seemed to enjoy losing it was actually the opposite of that. It's a shame as I like girls who are more aggressive. She's also occasionally bullied by Sanae in fan works, though it may just be due to the wording in their conversations. Still, I would have liked her to have a more concrete pairing or be more dominant or something.
Grade: C

Age: It's unknown how old Kogasa is, for multiple reasons. For one, she's a karakasa obake which means her umbrella "body" is at least a century old. I don't know if I should count the time she didn't have a consciousness or not, and I don't know how long ago she assumed her youkai form either. She does reference some old stories and the past to the player characters (much to their annoyance), but without a set date I can't be sure. I'll still consider her on the high end of her teens, since that's what she looks like to me.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 63
Average score: 7
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the week.

: A shame, that looks fairly average.

: Being fair outside of the whole "surprise" thing Topaz doesn't know too much about you. I guess first impressions are everything.

Especially if you're a Golisopod!

: Exactly! But speaking of him it's time that I made my Emergency Exit!

*Kogasa opens the window and leaps out of it. Her umbrella makes her able to float away, though in an upward arc.*

Wow, looks like she's Mary Poppins away-ed.

*Oshizu returns, opening the door with a stern face. She enters and Ryouko follows.*

Oh? Welcome back you two. Feeling better?

: That I am, but since you delayed my blog for that umbrella girl I formally request that I be done next time.

Of course, I was planning on it. And I'm certain that no one will burst in!

: Hopefully he's telling the truth...
Posted by emperortopaz | Dec 8, 2016 8:13 AM | 0 comments
November 3rd, 2016
This is the Four-hundredth-fourteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

: Welcome back everyone to the show that everyone is tuning in to watch!

Oh man, am I suddenly in Keijo!!!!!!!!?

: Topaz, not everyone is watching that.

They should, and grade it high too. It deserves far better than MAL users give it.

: Ahem. As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, we're here at the second round of Aldra's special fall tournament. We have Topaz here, who has provided his worth by defeating Esdeath last time.

: Fortunately she did not fall into the Void. Though she did get crystalized.

: Indeed, and this week he has to face the Earthen General Quake! And at the Terrain Arena as well!

: Certainly. Though I do dislike that silly name. Call me Kuvira, or General Kuvira if you would like to be proper.

*Kuvira cracks her knuckles and then her neck in an intimidating fashion.*

: So when are we going to start this battle?

Uh... I mean, after my blog.

: Oh? I get one of those silly things as well.

: Careful Topaz, she's a rare character that's neither from anime or from a game. She must be especially devious.

Not necessarily. Remember, I did another girl from her series a long time ago.

: Eh? That must have been before my time.

It was. Many years ago I did Toph.

: EH?! You have spoken to Toph, one of the best earthbenders and the originator of metalbending?

Yes, back when she was a little girl.

*Kuvira thinks hard.*

: Wait, how old is this blog?

About to be nine!

*She thinks harder, even rubbing her head.*

: Wait, this makes no sense...

: Time is silly, but it's more because your sequel series hadn't quite come out back then. As a result Topaz only had the original series. I'm guessing at least.

Exactly, or rather Toph hadn't shown up in your series yet.

: I see, I think. But regardless, I shall allow you to do your silly talking first.

That's quite gracious of you. I'm glad that I have such reasonable opponents.

: I'm not, but then again I enjoyed the battle last time.

: Not everyone did.

I apologize!

: And that's not counting too much exposition birthday chatter!

I apologize again! Is that what you wanted to hear? Was the Tintinabar really worth losing that?

: Yes-wait, I thought it was just the Charm Bangle?

You missed talking to a few units, forgot the Special Forces battle, and asked a question twice.


: Um, can we get back to the blog.

: Indeed, I am waiting patiently to hear you praise me. Do not keep me waiting too long though.

Fine fine, let's get this stone rolling!

Today's girl is:

The Legend of Korra

Hair: Kuvira has alright hair, with a good color being brought down by her style. Of course, the good thing is that her hair is a dark black which is always nice. Sadly the style is where she suffers. It's pulled back into a sorta bun above the back of her neck. I really don't like it, mostly because it sacrifices her bangs and sides so she seems to have a larger forehead than she should. It does look quite professional and reserved, which does fit with her character but I really like having the face framed. Oh and she has a part above her left eye as well as a nice white barrette in back (nothing cute like a bow or anything). Her hair is about medium length, going past her shoulders (not that much shows though). She also has bumps on the sides, which seem like braids but they aren't detailed enough to be definite. I do like how sometimes, after a particularly rough battle, she looks a bit more disheveled and her hair is a mess. It shows how her struggle. Also, while I didn't notice (as she didn't seem too important) but in her first appearance she had a long braid and helmet. Shame she didn't keep that look.
Grade: B-

Eyes: I do really like narrow eyes, so Kuvira does well here. They still show quite a bit of emotion as well, and while the tops are mainly straight they do seem to have a slight tsurime to show off her dominant side. She also has green eyes, and while I can't remember well enough to say if there's many green-eyed girls Kuvira herself matches her green-themed clothing well. Also, as you can probably see Kuvira has pretty big eyebrows which look neat too.
Grade: B-

Face: Sadly being a Western-designed character (somewhat) Kuvira does suffer here. Especially with her large nose, even if it's not always fully-detailed. Her chin is also fairly pronounced, though not too badly or noticeable in the series itself. She also has a beauty mark under her right eye, a feature she seems to share with her voice actress. What helps Kuvira slightly is that she is usually smug or dominant and her face is often stoic to show it. Sure she has moments of desperation but she's never too flustered and always seems in control. I can't tell if she's darker-skinned compared to the rest of the Earth Nation population, I can't notice if it's that or if I had just found some shadowy images for reference.
Grade: C+

Build: Sadly we don't get a good look at this area. Kuvira just covers herself up too well. I would say she's about average for her age, being somewhat shapely but not to outlandish (this is a kid's show, after all. Not that kid's shows don't have shapely girls but still). She does seem like she would be well-build, as if she has a muscular frame and stomach. From what I can tell she's also ever so slightly shorter than her love interest as well, though I don't have any specific measurements either. Overall it's too difficult to tell.
Grade: C

Chest: Kuvira has some chest, but again it's difficult to tell. She's not extremely busty and looks about average for her age.
Grade: C

Clothes: As mentioned before this is the reason Kuvira does so badly. On one hand I do think that her Earth Kingdom military outfit looks cool and fits her personality well. It consists of a green bodysuit with sleeves (and sadly not skin-tight) and skirt with a lighter green tabard-like design in front. She wears olive pants as well, and sadly the skirt takes away any shape her rear end has which is really unfortunate. She wears a metal belt as well, and along her shoulders, collar, and forearms she has metal strips which she can use to bind opponents. She also wears brown boots and green or grey gloves (she has two different sets it seems). All the green is because it's the national color of the Earth Nation, of which she leads but more about that later. She also receives a large gold medal at a coronation, but she crushes it. In her initial appearance she wears more armor on her upper body as well as a samurai-looking helmet (due to the "trident" in front). Kuvira occasionally wears the armor later on, but it's mainly the pauldrons/shoulders she wears.
Grade: C-

Personality: Kuvira is a very cool villain, and by that I mean she's reserved and sorta TDB-like (she's lacking the long hair, I imagine). She's often cold and calculating, but gives off a proud feeling and very rarely seems to let things out of her grasp. She's also fairly polite but is easily angered by those who question her orders. She even held someone above train tracks (while riding a train) when they were feeling guilty about what they were making; she even went as far as to mock their conscience. She'll also ship people who speak outwardly about her plans to re-education camps, so she does have a bit of Nazi-like personality. That said, she's a great example of a well-intentioned extremist, doing much of what she's doing to help out her country. However, her plans slowly become revealed to be not as good as previously expected, and she even gets a rare Western animation-styled mecha to prove her superiority! Then again even before that she's a powerful fighter, with an establishment moment with her defeating a group of bandits single-handedly. That said, it's revealed near the end that the reason that Kuvira didn't want to give up on the Earth nation is because her parents abandoned her as a child. Overall she's a great villain that slowly gets her plans discovered and eventually learns the way she was doing things was incorrect. In this way she's somewhat a parallel to the lead Korra who, after a major injury, became disillusioned in what she might be doing is incorrect. Finally, Kuvira is voiced by Zelda Williams, who gives her a strong low voice, which I enjoy quite a bit.
Grade: A-

Libido: Kuvira has a sort-of complicated libido. I could say that she doesn't have any as she doesn't seem to show it too much (at least as far as I recall). That said, she did have a fiance (his name was Baator Jr.). I say "did" because when he was used as a lure to get her she used that as a target for an attack rather than a hostage situation. This is how he realized that she may not be the nicest person and he calls off the wedding. There's also a bit of implied tension between her and the lead Korra, but I don't think it's sexual at all.
Grade: C

Age: It's unknown how old Kuvira actually is, sadly. I've heard people say that she's in her twenties, which is definitely possible, or in her low thirties. That's pretty good but I would have liked a more accurate age. It would also help to have a difference between her and her love interest, as part of her points could depend on which is older.
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 58
Average score: 6.4
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: Harumph. From the sounds of things you do not think highly of me.

I do like you, but you don't do well. At least as far as the blog goes.

: Don't worry! Topaz seems picky about faces! And perversion!

Perversion is healthy.

*The video screen pops up again, with Aldra shouting once again.*


: Yes, my honor?

: Why have you not taken care of this pest yet?

: I was curious to learn what he had to say about me.

: Don't play to his abilities! He has the ability to make you weaker when he does that!

: WHAT?! Why didn't anyone warn me?

: No matter, I'll just handicap Topaz further. TOPAZ!


: I shall ban you from summoning this match. That should be a fair enough for a fair fight.

*Aldra's video feed is cut and the holographic screen disappears.*

: Certainly, and now that the conditions have been made let's begin the battle.

: Oh no! Without your summons what can you do?

Don't worry, I have a plan!

: Let's see how great your plan is when I do THIS!

*Kuvira does a flip and slams her foot on the ground. It cracks, creating a deep hole though Topaz dodges if just barely.*

: Hmmm, you must have weakened me to the point where that was avoidable.

: Don't blame Fissure's poor hit rate on stat-decreasing... (Darn, I'm making video game jokes again that no one will get...)

: No matter. I'll just keep attacking. It's not like you can do much to defeat me...

*She uses the ability again, shaking the ground. Topaz somehow goes missing as he dives behind her. She looks back and forth.*

: You can't hide from me forever...

*Suddenly Kuvira is hit by a snowball from behind. She turns to look and sees Topaz popping his head out of a hole.*

: YOU? How did you manage to create ice?

: Did you summon Boreas while we weren't looking? Because if you did I could go for a snow cone.

It's my mimicry ability!

: I don't care what kind of gimmicky ability you have, explain!

: Seems that Topaz has given himself Esdeath's power over ice, how interesting!

That's exactly what happened.

: Grr, you should have hit me harder when you had the chance then.

*She wipes the snow off her head.*

: You will regret not using that opportunity better.

It's alright. Since you're a ground-type the ice attacks will be super-effective!

: That may be a sound strategy, but it is incorrect...


*A large rock slams against Topaz, dealing 30 damage.*

: I am not a Ground-type, I'm more Rock-like!

: Curses, it's like Gigalith!

*Topaz gets up and brushes himself off.*

That's fine, all I have to do is keep the pressure up.

*He shoots a few lances of ice at Kuvira, but she causes a wall to appear from the dirt.*

: Have you figured it out yet?

What out?

: You might have to spell it out for Topaz, he can be dense sometimes!

: Do you know why I wished to fight in the Terrain Arena?

Because the other two were picked first and you got stuck with it?

: Because you picked randomly?

: Ha ha ha, both good, if incorrect, guesses. No, the reason is that this field amplifies my power.

: She's right, just look at all those rock outcroppings that she could use for ammunition!

You mean the same things that might have prizes inside?

: Just because it was Halloween doesn't mean that there's candy inside the rocks, Topaz.


: Why don't you check anyway, Topaz?

*Kuvira flings more rocks at Topaz, who narrowly avoids.*

: Go Stone Miss being accurate to its name!

Unlike Accurate Wave!

: Can you stop running around for a few seconds?

*Kuvira melds all the rocks together, creating a gigantic fist. She then aims it downward over Topaz.*

: Any last requests?

Don't kill me?

: Request not obeyed. Good bye.

*She uses her powers to push down on the stone fist. However, Topaz shoots icy dust upward, in a beam-like attack that comes from both his hands. He slowly works ice into the cracks and weak points of the fist, freezing it and causing it to be crushed to dust.*

Looks like you're out of attacks.

: A true warrior always has a back-up. Like THIS!

*Kuvira uses her forearm plates as discs, throwing them at Topaz. He narrowly avoids the buzzing blades.*

: Looks like this battle is really heating up!

Rock AND Steel it seems, I've really got my work cut out for myself...

: Watch out for Ms. Aggron over there!

: I am not aggravated, or whatever the heck you called me!

*Kuvira sends her blades at the sidelines, causing Ririchiyo and Koto to dive for cover. Koto pops up first.*

: HEY! Attacking the audience or especially me is specifically off-limits!

Besides, you don't want to lose track of ME!

: HUH?

*Topaz has snuck up behind Kuvira and punches her square in the stomach. She is thrown back, but stays on her feet inside the Terrain Arena.*

Obviously your weakness is Fighting now!

: Or Ground, but I guess this is easier to access at the moment.

*Kuvira starts to chuckle. Then she runs her hand through her hair from the forehead back and starts laughing maniacally while bringing her head up.*

: I was wrong to underestimate you. Not that a punch like that could ever cause any SERIOUS damage, though. But since you've angered me take THIS!

*She sends her metal blades at Topaz, but misses.*

Looks like you missed!

: Who said I was aiming for you?

*The blades carve up the parameter of the arena. It cracks and starts to collapse inward.*

: A great strategy, destroying the arena. Topaz will still have to be careful to stay inside!

: Wait, why doesn't his opponent?

: Because she has a large portion of the arena bound to her feet.

*The camera closes in and indeed Kuvira's feet look surrounded by the earth of the Arena. On the other hand Topaz has to jump from clump to clump, fighting to not get trapped under the dirt-whirlpool.*


*Aldra gets a call from the lower floors.*

: Aldra-sama, Kuvira's destroying the Terrain Arena.

: WHAT?! I do suppose that she did aid in the creation of this building and that arena, but she is not allowed to destroy it without my permission. First Esdeath and now her, why are my generals trying to destroy the monument to my success?

*Aldra gets up and starts to walk towards three levers. We join Topaz as the dirt has fallen and he seems to be tangled in the machinery of the floor below them. Not only that, but there's a lot of fully-functional machinery in general just stuck in the background for effect.*

Well this is a fine pickle I'm in...

*Kuvira lowers herself down on her chunk of earth. She looks somewhat disheveled, not that the icon shows it. She stops right in front of a large laser and grabs the wiring underneath it.*

: Ufufu, there's no way that you can avoid this all tangled up like that. Now, prepare to be Spirit-Lasered!

*The laser starts to glow with immense power. Topaz struggles but it doesn't help. At the last moment he holds out his palm, then clenches it into a fist. As he does so the giant laser is crushed and bent by ice abilities. The tip is also frozen over, causing it to freeze up literally.*

: W-what? How did you do that?

I still have Esdeath's abilities...

*Topaz then freezes the wires, causing them to shatter and he lands on the dirt pile below. He then looks determined at Kuvira.*

And there's still one that I haven't used... ZA WARUDO!

*The entire battlefield is frozen in time. Topaz looks around.*

Heh, so it actually worked. So this is what time freezing feels like. But I can't be distracted by the strangeness, I've got to do THIS! MUDA MUDA MUDA!

*Topaz punches Kuvira upward, though the punches are certainly not useless. Her body is frozen in place but each punch hits her slightly more upward.*

Now for the finisher! ROOAADD ROLLLERR!

*Topaz finds the heavy vehicle and somehow tosses it at Kuvira. It lands on top of her, knocking her out of the arena-pit. Fortunately she doesn't seem too injured, as Topaz notices as he climbs out of the hole himself. The time stop then ends.*

: Wow, seems like a lot happened in that time stop.

: You know, you should watch that show if you're going to keep referencing it...

WRRRYY-Er, I mean "Why?" Besides, you know my dislike of eye injuries.

: But it has people based on bands, not that they get to keep their actual names sometimes but still. Cute-sounding girls too. And it has a smoking monkey too!

Silly Riri, Orangutans aren't monkeys. Now how long are you going to make that mistake.

: Probably Forever.

: Putting Bizarre Adventures aside, it looks like Topaz won again!

: Hurray!

HUZZAH! Now there's only one battle left!


*The road roller floats upward before being compacted into a quarter of the size. It is then thrown to the side.*

: You may have won the match with that obscenely powerful ability, but I will still keep you from continuing!

*Kuvira stands up, holding her side as if injured.*

But you're so injured. There's no way that you can continue to fight.

: I'll still be an obstacle and-GWAAAH!

*Suddenly Kuvira's necklace glows and she becomes crystalized. She tries her best, using chunks of metal to try and chip away but to no avail.*

Oh no, not her too!

: Aldra really does seem possessed by a demon, much like Airi said way back when.

Indeed, but that just means that we have to hurry and defeat her.

: Wait, why?

Because once I do all these people will be saved!

: That's the way these sorts of things go, right? Everyone returns near the end because they were really just being healed by Sylphs or something?

: I don't get that reference, but let's continue upward to the Forge Arena!

Seems like next time will really be heating up with Fasalina's blog!

: I hope not literally...

*The trio continue upward to the Forge Arena.*
Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 3, 2016 7:16 AM | 0 comments
July 28th, 2016
This is the Four-hundredth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Happy four-hundredth blog everyone! This is a major moment in blogging history! I never expected to get this far when I first started.

: Certainly. You've been through a lot more than you could have ever expected. And I'm sure that you'll have to face many other threats.

That sounds sort of ominous, but considering I still have to face Aldra I do have at least one more major battle in the future. Though I do wish that Ririchiyo was here to help celebrate. She must be having fun back home, I suppose.

Nothing but fun times for her!

: Getting away from your absent assistant, have you remembered who I am yet?

I have, and if that's a sign that you want to be blogged on I won't misunderstand!

Today's girl :


Wait, why?

: Because we have a few things to discuss first.

Not more discussions! I can't write that much!

: It's your own fault for causing so much strife. Then again one of the things I have to talk about involves powering you up.

Powering me up?

: Yes. I shall unlock your potential. But before that, you have to be punished! I mean... “trained”!

Wait, that sounds like something bad...

: Nonsense! All you have to do is enter this room over here...

*May leads Topaz over to a nearby room with an open door.*

Hey, is this some sort of Hyper-Potion room?

: Yes. That's exactly what it is. Now go inside and gain your 200 HP.


: No. The Hyperbolic Time chamber will provide the punishment for all the times that you've betrayed Zettai.

*Topaz gulps.*

ALL of the times?

: Well, I suppose that I'm only counting the blog ones. But that's still a lot, so get in there!

*May kicks Topaz inside and closes the door. She even locks it using the gigantic safe-like handle.*


: That seems to be for Ayaka's blog. Ufufu...


: And seems that you've seen Azusa's torture too.


: Ufufu, seems you're facing Maou's challenge now...


: Seems like there's a lot of girls who you have to pay for now. Like a certain yandere whose measurements you didn't notice and thus graded her higher than she deserves, or putting that gif of a certain MEAT in her blog that burned his eyes. Not to mention the silly "motorcycle" girls who will remain nameless... Hmmm, Tsubasa should be coming up soon too...


: There we go. *Looks at her watch* Hmmm? Been a full day already? Well, I guess I should let you out.

*May opens the door and bright light shines out. A silhouette of a muscular man is seen.

: Wow, I guess that the training really DID make you stronger!

*Topaz emerges and he's as thin and wimpy as ever.*

Actually I think that was just the lighting. But I do feel tougher, and training in there meant that I didn't lose HP!

: Well, not technically anyway. But what have you learned?

Big breasts aren't the only thing to appreciate on a girl's body! And that I should appreciate flat chests more!

: Exactly what I wanted you to learn. Here, I'll give you a big busty hug and rub my breasts all over you!

Only if you pull up your skirt and rub your butt against me for an equal amount of time!

: Good answer. That's what I wanted you to say. And I'm not actually rubbing my chest on you.

What about your butt?

: That either.

Shame. But now that I have newfound appreciation for flat chests what can I do about my blog?

: Hmm? You mean about the girls in the past who you have wronged?

Exactly. There's so many that I feel like I should apologize to. Like Nagi or Shana!

: And the girls from kids shows like Aikatsu or Precure!

Well, they'd still score low. Outside of transformations scenes it's not like they show off too much, which is something I still plan on scoring on. Shiny, featureless skin is still kinda strange. Wait, "Scoring"! How am I going to score girls now?

: You could always CHANGE the blog.

You're talking crazy talk. Changing something this far into it? That would make the calculations all wrong and complicate things so much!

: No, you see all you have to do is change "breasts" to "chest".

What's the difference.

: Well, with "breasts" it's implied that there's a pass or fail rating. Basically be big or lose points. With the new scale it's better at showing appeal and how often they show it off.

Alright, but I'll still punish girls who either use pads for fakeness or get jealous and have bad scenes. Girls should be proud of their chests, no matter the size!

: Good boy! Now that you've finally experienced your failings and learned from them now you may start my blog!

Wait, what about unlocking my potential?

: That comes after the blog.

I see. Well then, you readers should be excited because...

Today's girl is:

May Hyou
the Nyntindois series.

*May ahems.*

Hmm? Did I forget something?

: Well, what is my full name?

I said it. "May Hyou".

: No, my FULL name.

*Topaz sighs.*

"Mayella Ann Hyou".

: And why do I have such a silly name?

*Topaz sighs again.*

Because I didn't understand Japanese at all back then and made up random stuff. And your first name is based on May Oak from Dengeki Pikachu too.

: Ufufu, you really liked that manga way back then, didn't you?

I didn't have a lot of manga at the time and was an idiot.

: Explains a lot. But then again you were terrible at names. I mean, I have to keep your actual name a secret but let's just say that "Topaz 1510" was a dumb name. Especially considering your SPECIES of monkey-like people were named the "Topaz".

Hey, you don't need to point out every moment of my chuunibyou-ish days! Or, technically, before that, but still.

: Oh don't worry. I'm only "Topaz"-ing you. Tee hee <3. And be prepared to have me chime in and out during the blog itself too!

That sounds... great. Well then, let's get started!

Hair: One of May's most obvious traits is her dark black hair. It has a nice blend with her light skin, though currently her hair has turned brown to match her inspiration closer (one of her inspirations was from a manga, so it seemed that the character's hair was black). Either way it's a nice dark color that looks nice. Style-wise some things haven't changed. May's hair is still long and flowing, being free in back. Her hair seems to reach about her mid-back, but I apparently drew her with windswept hair so it was hard to tell. Not to mention my poor art skills, but still. Probably the only problem are the average bangs. I think I was trying to have her hair come down over her eye for a seductive look, but now it just looks like she's emo or something.
Grade: A

: You can tell I was from way in the past. There's no way a character Topaz would make now wouldn't have a hime cut or something.

What about Kimiko?

: She doesn't count as she was supposed to be a character based on you, but she was "popular" and got her own spin-off. Speaking of her, I do notice that both her and I have brown hair. Could it be that you were just lazy in creating my sprite?

Who me, Lazy? Don't be ridiculous! It's more that I had problems as the preset black in the program made it look grey. Now, let's continue onward and not speak of this.

: The joke there would be funnier if you didn't give a good excuse, you know.

Eyes: May has small black eyes. It's possible that I was trying to make them narrow, matching her Japanese descent, but I just drew them as dots. While the majority of the characters are like that, with a couple exceptions, it is odd that I didn't give her anime-like eyes. Also in demon form, which I'll talk about later in "body", she has yellow eyes. Overall I imagine that they aren't bad but I am poor at putting my thoughts into art.
Grade: B-

: You weren't bad, but if you were looking forward to this being a career I'd suggest that you would have practiced more.

Luckily I knew that I wasn't going to be an artist, though I wouldn't mind making video games.

: Maybe someday. Or you can just watch an anime about that instead.

Sounds like a plan!

: Oh, and while you mentioned that it's odd about the eye shape I'm surprised that you didn't give me glasses. Though I imagine it was far, far before you knew that about yourself.


Face: As mentioned before May has pale skin, though it's very beautiful. It's also quite soft, and she prides herself on having no imperfections. I will say that her face is a little simplistic-

: A LITTLE? I'm pretty sure heads shouldn't be that round, and other than having a nose I'm pretty sure my SPRITE has more facial emotion than your art.

Fair point. I was and probably am still a poor artist. Regardless, May has a mostly average face. Oh and she seems to have facial markings in demon form.
Grade: B

: Before we continue, how about you show that full-body sketch?

I'd rather not...

: It's not like it's mamocentric-well, I suppose that because it's from the front it could be considered, but it wasn't deliberate as there were more males in the series and they used the same forward-facing pose. So anyway, here you go!

As you can see I'm not good at the arts.

: To be fair this was done over a decade ago, and likely even further as well. Not that it completely excuses it as I imagine a current image wouldn't be better, but you're too lazy for that.

I am! But anyway May is a fairly curvy girl with a thin waist. Her feet and legs are alright, but are likely better than my poor art can show. Sadly there's no measurements-

: What are you talking about? YOU are the creator of me, you decide my measurements.

I suppose, but I have no information about back then. If I were to give her measurements now, I'd say that she's 167 cm tall and her three sizes are 90/60/90.

: Any reason for those?

Yeah. As the love goddess I used the measurements that are the average "perfect woman" sizes. Though I hope my friend wouldn't be angry.

: We can't all have measurements like that cute loli imouto of his.

: Ufufu, seems someone is speaking about me and required me to give a cameo. I hope that they're saying something nice, like me being butt-tastic.

Anyway, getting back to May I have to describe her demon form. As she has succubus blood in her she has the ability to go into a demon form. Her forearms turn red and thicken into clawed hands, her legs become hoofed, and she gains both wings and horns.

: Sorta like your demon form. HINT.

I-er, I'm a very creative person!
Grade: B

: Nice save.

*Ahem* Anyway, let's get to May's chest. As one of the inspirations behind her is Tifa from Final Fantasy VII, she is quite busty. As said before, it's likely that her bust size is 90. Luckily her chest isn't too insanely large for her body shape, and she doesn't show it off or bounce too much either. Other than that, not much to say. She hasn't shown her nipples, either.
Grade: B+

Clothes: It's a factor that May is fairly fashionable, but the only outfit I've drawn her in is her basic one. As said, Tifa was a major inspiration so May has a similar outfit. She wears a tanktop that exposes her middriff, jean shorts with black belt, and sandals. She also carries a bull whip that she uses in battle. The Elemental Gem Jade hangs around May's neck, and it has been fashioned into a scorpion-looking brooch, with four legs, two claws, and a pointed tail. The jewel is set into the body, and is protected by a gold back.

: The whip gives a nice sting, pun intended. Though you won't know why until the next area.

As far as variety, May has none. But as a custom creation I can pretty much put her in any sort of outfit I want.

: What I'm surprised about is the Chinese dress. I mean I know you like them, but it doesn't show off my body as well as I would like.

It's to symbolize your goddess powers.

: What it symbolizes is that I like covering up. I'll just tighten it, and there! Though my "meat buns" look so great and about to pop out.

Meaning her butt, of course. In that case let us continue onward!

*May shakes her big meaty butt at the camera.*
Grade: B

Personality: May is a very beautiful, but not quite egotistical, character. If she seems that way blame my poor writing skills. Anyway she's pretty flirty and can enjoy being the center of attention. Despite this her attacks tend to be subtle, not doing a lot of damage but dealing status ailments instead. She uses a whip and a bunch of insect-based attacks. The latter is due to her third and final inspiration, Jean from the second Lunar game. The insect attacks are due to Jade, which is her elemental gem and goddess, being a large scorpion. I have no clue either, I think the name "Jade Scorpion" came from some movie from around the time (and not a memorable one or one that I saw either). Overall she's not bad, but I wish I had more to say about her other than her attacks or the characters she was inspired from.

: You could always show an image of what the goddess looks like.

But that would require effort!

: What about THIS:

*May pulls out a parchment and undoes it, revealing the picture inside.*

In all fairness that's the updated version of Venom Jade, which is the third form of the goddess's power.

: Because the Nyntindois gods have not two but THREE forms! Power creep and all that.
Grade: C+

Libido: May, being a goddess of love, has a fairly healthy libido and is quite lustful. She's also married to my namesake in the Nyntindois series, both for tradition (as I am the king of the gods) and out of love. She also has the ability to attract others just by playfully flirting, though she sometimes forgets to turn that power off.

: I can't say that I dislike the attention, but at least I can turn it off. I mean, can you believe if I had to wear a veil all the time to hide my beauty?

Exactly, though you're probably not as attention-grabbing as I'm making you seem. Also I'd like to recon May's past as it currently seems really cruel, involving sexual harassment and her becoming a lesbian because of a cruel father.

: Topaz didn't exactly understand anything way back then. Luckily he now has the internet for more information and is kind enough to remove horrible backstories that cause poor plotholes and Gary Sue-ing of his own character.

What are you talking about?

: I'm sure every guy probably had a dream at one point of "converting" a lesbian through the power of his own, well, you understand. Besides, with all the abilities your author avatar has, from copying other abilities, near-instant regeneration, reality manipulation, and even creating life or a solar system as an attack you're already checked too much off on the "Gary Sue" chart.

I knoowwwww.... If only I could go back and teach my younger self a lot of lessons! But that's aside the point. Only one more area to go!

: But before that, don't forget the short cameo I had in the PSWhoa comics.

Ah yes. You see, in one of the chapters the PSWhoa cast faced off against the holders of the Elemental Gems. May had to go against the sexy Shiek, a Newman (which is that game's version of elf). After Shiek got her clothing removed by Exhi!e's Secret Button May took that as a challenge and stripped herself. They then wrestled off-screen to the excitement of all the guys. I'm not sure how but Shiek seemed to win.

: Ufufu, in all fairness we both "won", and same for several bystanders as well...
Grade: B

Age: May is 19, and her birthday is April 16. Why, I have no clue but that is her birthday.

: And to specify, at the time of my creation "Topaz" was 23. Not this Topaz, the one from Nyntindois and my husband. So I'm technically younger than him. Still older than the real life was when he created me, by quite some time.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 76
Average score: 8.4
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for the week!

: I would have expected to get higher, but I guess your tastes really have changed. But now that it is complete I can finally "touch" you.


: "Touch" you. I'll pull things out of you that you never knew you had. How does that sound.

I need an adult.

: I am an adult. Couldn't you tell by my "age" score? Besides, I know it's your first time so I'll be gentle. Now, stand still and relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence...

*May places her hand on Topaz's head.*

I definitely need an adult...


*Cosmic energy flows into Topaz, filling his body with energy. Visions of past girls flood into his head, empowered by the souls of the sacred gemstones:

Like the wind blowing through the hair, Diamond enhances HAIR!

+30 HP

Like the reflections off a winter's ice, Sapphire enhances EYES!

+10 Defense, +1 Summon, and 2 meganekko points.

Like the power of expression and emotion, Moonstone enhances FACE!

+25 Defense

Like a body of a statue and carved of earth, Quartz enhances BUILD!

+15 defense and 5 HP

Like the flames of the heart burning with passion, Ruby enhances CHEST!

+60 HP

Like a thread of hope in troubled times, Emerald enhances CLOTHES!

+10 defense and 40 HP

Like his own personality, always supportive and positive, Topaz enhances PERSONALITY!

+5 Defense, +20 HP, and +1 Summon

Like the ties of marriage and affection, Jade enhances LIBIDO!

+5 Defense and +3 Summon

Finally, like the passage of the years and wisdom, Cordierite enhances AGE!

+5 Defense, +10 Hit Points, and +1 Summon

*After receiving such great power May removes her hand from Topaz's head. She seems to pant afterwards.*

: Seems like the powers connecting me to my home world are trying to drag me back for manipulating this world too much. But do not worry, I have enough power to continue training you.

More training?

: Of course!

===Meanwhile, in the Colosseum jail===

*Ririchiyo approaches a girl who is tied up and her mouth taped shut. She removes the tape.*

: YOW!

: SHHH! Do you want us to get caught?

*Riri unties Críet.*

: So what happened?

: Some girl came and kidnapped me! Luckily I have enough magical power to contact Topaz.

: Try to do it steathfully, so that Aldra and her troops don't pick up on it.

: Right!

*Críet gets down on her knees and prays. As her current troops have next to no magical abilities they aren't able to notice the magical signature. On the ground Airi notices, turning her head as it flies off. She shrugs it off and continues to Topaz's house. It eventually reaches Topaz, who is trying to sit still but spasms.*

: I told you, you need to sit still for this to work!

Sorry, my leg cramped up.

: Well then, uncramp it and sit down!

*The message reaches Topaz's ears...*

: Help us...

My friends are in peril!

: But you can't leave now! If you do, I won't be able to power your focus up further!

But I fight for my friends. C'mon Nina, let's go rescue them!

*Nina, who was sleeping against a post letting May and Topaz have their private time, is shocked awake.*

: Eh? Oh, I-I wasn't sleeping!

*Nina becomes a bird, ready to transport Topaz back.*

: You'll never be able to defeat Aldra at your level! Even if you did just gain a bunch of experience.

There's no time! I have to make sure they're safe!

*Nina flies off towards the Colosseum.*

: *Sigh* When will he listen to reason...

*As Nina and Topaz approach the Colosseum, it starts shooting at them.*

Watch out!

: You think?!

*Nina avoids many shots, but her wing gets hit.*

: I can't maintain my form any longer, I have to become a humanoid again!

Fine, but don't drop me!

: I make no promises.

*Nina goes back to her normal form, even if the picture didn't change as I am lazy. She holds Topaz princess style as she flies past the lasers.*

Quick, go through that alley! They won't be able to get us if we do that!

*Nina dives through, getting caught in a bedsheet that somehow wraps around her body like a toga. She also gets a golden disc of sorts stuck to her head as she does aerial maneuvers.*

===Meanwhile, back at Topaz's house===

*The sun is in the middle of setting.*

: You sure it was before dusk?

: I think that's what the sage said. Though who knows if she was a real fortune teller anyway.

: Yeah, probably some faker and-

*Suddenly, in the sunlit sky Topaz emerges. The sun behind Nina, combined with the golden disc and outfit makes it seem as if she's an angel descending to drop him off.*

: I have brought you Topaz.

: Uhhhh....

: That was an oddly specific fortune that came true...

Rika! Kimiko! You're both alright!

: You're alright too, Topaz!

: What happened?

I was crystallized, lost my memory and wandered about, and then a beautiful goddess of love touched me and I felt something I never felt before!

: I'm jealous! Of the latter mostly!

: Where's Ririchiyo?

I thought that she was with you.

: Nope. Last I knew she was at the Colosseum with you.

Curses, she must still be there. No wonder she's in such peril! But we can't get there now. It's too heavily guarded.

: And I'm too hurt to fly next to it too. I'm going to take off as a result.

That's fine, though I may need a ride back to May.

: F-fine, but give me time to prepare first!

*Nina flies off with a floppy wing.*

: So who are you going to do next week? It's the special meganekko blog remember.

Ah yes. Meganekko day is a special day so it's a shame that Ririchiyo isn't here. But don't worry, I know EXACTLY who to do...

: Who?

Someone I should have done a long time ago....

==The Next Day==

*Topaz knocks on a door of a fairly average house. It is opened by a loli.*

Hello there. Is your meganekko "older sister" home?

: She is, not that I enjoy it. But if you promise to keep her busy I'll let you in!
Posted by emperortopaz | Jul 28, 2016 7:49 AM | 0 comments
July 21st, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-ninety-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz continues to climb up the super-high tower. He is nearing the building at the top, far above the clouds.*

Urrghh.. Ooofff... So.. Tiring.. Hard to... Summarize... But so... close...

*He eventually gets to the railing of the building and hops on. He pants as he sits for a short time.*

Man, I thought that was going to go on forever! I guess I got my exercise for the year, I hope.

*After resting he stands up and starts exploring. For some reason he doesn't find anyone.*

Hmmm... How unusual. I was expecting a girl to be at the top of the tower. Especially some type of catgirl, with a staff that they'd train me with.

???: I think that you've got the right franchise, but the wrong girl!

*Topaz is surprised at the female voice coming from behind him. He turns and sees a gigantic white bird with pink markings behind him.*

What the?!

???: I said you had the wrong girl in mind!

Well, there's that but I'm also surprised that you appeared and that you could talk.

???: Of course I can talk! I'm a person!

Are you some type of druid or...?

???: No, I'm...

*The bird lands beside Topaz and transforms. She becomes a human girl, though with big white wings.*


Doesn't ring any bells, sorry.

: WHAT?! But we had a lot of fun on our adventure together!


: What happened, Ryu?

But I'm Topaz.

: Er, sorry about that. I guess your imprinting got to me. But still, you played my game so you should know who I am.

In all fairness I recently got trapped in crystal and lost my memory.

: Hey, something sorta similar happened to me too! Only I got transported through time and space. But don't worry, I had the other characters tell me how to produce the Tonic that saved me. And fortunately I happen to have all the ingredients here!

That's good, I was hoping I wouldn't have to reach into my pants.

: Couldn't you have worded that better?

Like "I didn't want to grab all the junk I keep in my pants?"

: I didn't mean MORE pervers as far as "better" goes!

*Nina goes over to a pot that happened to be simmering over a cooking fire.*

: Anyway, let's see here. I have to add some Root...

*Topaz watches her from the side.*

: P.Fish...

*Topaz snickers.*


: C.Nut...

*Topaz snickers more.*


*Nina starts to glare at Topaz being so immature.*

: and W.Ant.

*Topaz snickers.*


*He stops.*

Wait, that one isn't as silly.

*Nina stirs up the mixture and scoops it into a flask. She then hands it to Topaz.*

: Now drink this.

*He does so.*

: -but not all in one sitting. The P.Fish is poisonous, after all.

*Topaz falls to the floor, sweating profusely. A imagine scene of a cross section of his head causes fireworks to go off.*

: Are you alright?

*Topaz coughs a bit, but stands up with a determined thing.*

I have done a great wrong!

: What? Is the poison getting to your brain or something?

The exact opposite; I've never been thinking clearer! And I betrayed a friend last week. So I ask you, can you help him forgive me?

: Forgiveness is good, so I'll do anything you ask of me.

Allow me to massage your butt!

: WHAT?!

Massage your butt!

*The camera closes up on the winged princess's hiney, showing off it's surprising meatiness.*

: Get that camera out of there!

*The view returns to normal, and a cross-like anger mark appears on Nina's forehead. She tries to remain civil.*

: I won't do that. Try something else.

Well, I suppose that you can massage me instead.

: I don't know how that will help him...

-With your butt!

*Nina's eye twitches.*

: D-did I hear that right?

Of course!

: Then take THIS, you pervert!

*Nina slams her butt against Topaz's head, knocking him down and sitting on his face.*


: This is what perverts like you deserve!

*She continues to sit on his face for a few more minutes before getting up.

: There, did you learn your lesson?

I sure did. Asking for buttservice leads to buttservice!

: That's not what I was going for, but alright. And, as additional punishment you have to do my blog!

Alright. It's not like there's any other girls here. But don't think that you've got it just for that reason as...

Today's girl is:

Breath of Fire

...And she's a great girl!

: Thanks for that! Though it's a shame the picture isn't too great.

I know. It's a shame the series doesn't get a lot of art. Oh, and before anyone wonders while Nina is a franchise name I'll mainly be focusing on the original Breath of Fire. It's the one that I know the best.

Hair: Nina doesn't have the best hair. It's short, barely reaching her shoulders in the back. It's also very curved, being spiked upward (especially in back). She has some hanging down on the sides by her ears and some in back. Nina also wears a headband, though she does have nice bangs. She does have a part with a long “middle” that's fairly common, but I suppose that in her time it was a lot less common. It's possible that her hair gets longer after a time skip, with the hairband being lowered and a more wispier-style. It does look like she's wearing some type of helmet or hat in her field sprite, but in battle her hair is really simplified. Overall not too bad but nothing outstanding either.
Grade: C+

Eyes: Nina has fairly fitting eyes. They're tarame and seem full of life and vitality, perfect for a healer. They're also a fair shade of blue, eventually matching her outfit which isn't bad. Her eyebrows do seem to change slightly in her older form, looking a little more mature. She also may have green eyes in some official art (or they put the wrong image on the page). She gets a lot more detail in the manga as well, but sadly she doesn't wear glasses.
Grade: B-

Face: Nina's face isn't bad either, being really cute but maturing slightly through plot. It is a bit basic, but matched a lot of faces from the time period. She has a somewhat noticeable nose, but it's not too bad in the game and manga. Not that it's hidden, but more that it fits her face well. She shows a lot of emotion in the manga as well, even if a good amount is anger. The angle of Nina's face does change between the two face sprites in the game so it looks like her mouth moves upward, but it's also because she has it open in her first one. Overall not bad. And the less we talk about the American box art the better...
Grade: B

Build: Nina is a fairly nicely-shaped teen. That said it's possible for her to be 176 cm and 56 kg but I am uncertain about how accurate that is. But looking at her shape, she does look fairly thin. Especially around her waist. Her legs are fairly shapely, but that may just because Nina's outfit shows off her thighs. We do get a nice buttshot in the manga, showing that she has nice curve but it also removes her crack which is dumb. Of course the most noticeable things about Nina are her two wings. She was the first, and all Ninas that followed are part of the Wing Clan. They look really pretty and fluffy. I will also add that Nina becomes the token Airship as well, being able to become a gigantic bird to fly the party around. It's really cool, at least to me, but doesn't count as far as her score goes. Fortunately she still gets an alright score here.
Grade: B-

Breasts: This is one of the reasons I wouldn't consider Nina a “loli”. She doesn't have a flat chest. It's a bit more noticeable in the manga, especially when she's covering her otherwise bare chest with her arm (no nipples are seen). Her field sprite also seems to have a chest too, but I think that may just be her chestplate.
Grade: C

Clothes: Speaking of Nina's chestplate she does have a fairly cool outfit. It consists of a red leotard with high leg-holes and short sleeves, a gold chestplate with straps and decorations, blue thighhighs and almost knee-high red boots, and elbow-length white gloves. Once she becomes older her outfit becomes blue instead, which I do like more. Nina also wears various equipment, but like most games back then it didn't impact her battle or field sprites. That said she does still show her rapier, her weapon of choice. As far as the manga goes the only new outfit is some cute pajamas while sleeping. Helpful, but a bit more variety would have raised her score here more.
Grade: C+

Personality: Nina is very much your traditional JRPG white mage love interest. She's also a little bit spunky and independent, going off with a couple of soldiers to save her poisoned father (and king, making Nina a princess). They don't succeed but Ryu, the hero, comes to save them and defeats the Wizard that had poisoned her father. They return to her home city of Wyndia and Nina joins the party. She doesn't get too much characterization, that happens in older games, but another moment where she's a major part are the times where she gets involved with the Time Key. She gets trapped in a time portal trying to pull the key out and gets sent back in time several years. I guess she should have asked Lucca for help xD. But anyway, she develops amnesia and has to have the party find ingredients for a cure. After recovering she's able to become a Great Bird and also changes her attack animation. Her younger version teleports to the enemy and stabs it while the older version enhances the blade and swings at the enemy. I found it really interesting how it was changed. The final part I remember from her is the ending. Way back in the first quarter you have to deal with a giant dungeon-like robot, going into it and battling. However, it's implied that the robot has a mind of its own, disobeying the enemy's orders to attack the remaining twin town. Not only that, but after you shut it down for good the robot decides to help you by jumping into a volcano and allowing you to continue onward. Well, in the ending when you're returning characters back to their towns Nina stops at the volcano and pays her respects, even if silently. She then continues with Ryu to Wyndia and becomes the last member of the party to leave. Overall Nina is really quite likable, and the original one probably remains the one I know best (even if I've played III and IV). Oh and her hobby seems to be eating things, which is always cool but wasn't shown in the game that I can recall.
Grade: B

Libido: On one hand Nina is portrayed as Ryu, the lead's, main love interest. She doesn't admit it, though. She also doesn't tolerate perverts in the manga, attacking some Dark Dragons when they were caught watching her bathe in a lake (Ryu too). That said she is at least a bit more straightforward in that series. Nina seems to enjoy the wedding in the game too, and I guess I should count the fact that she can either give a massage or get a massage from an old creepy guy in Auria. I'm only mentioning that for completion, though (and there's a similar scene involving massages in a future game as well, IV I think.)
Grade: C

Age: Nina's official age is unknown. Or at least THIS Nina as the one from the second game is 17. Anyway, this Nina seems to start out younger than that, but gets transported back a few years and loses her memory. What I like about this is that it sorta gives her a bit of straight shota appeal as she does seem to be the main love interest (even if in the manga Bleu/Deis is flirtatious and the two butt heads a bit). Though it is unfortunate that they had to age her up, I guess.
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 59
Average score: 6.6
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the week. What did you think?

: Better in some areas and worse in others. Sometimes the manga helped, while others it wasn't as helpful. Overall I guess I should be thankful since as a SNES sprite I wouldn't have had many points if not for that.

Right, even if I greatly enjoyed the game and have many fond memories. Especially because it was one of my first RPGs, and one of the few non-Nintendo ones I own for the SNES. But now what should I do with my newfound wisdom?

: Don't worry. I know exactly where to go. We shall visit the goddess of love. I'm sure that since you have recalled your memories you should remember her.

I don't know, there are a lot of lovely goddesses I know...

: I suppose so, but hop on as we fly upwards.

Further up than this?

: Yes. To the floating castle where she lives.

Sounds familiar somehow. But oh well. At least this way I won't have to climb up a pole.

*Nina becomes a bird and, with Topaz on her back, they fly upward. They eventually land on a floating island in the sky.*

Wow, this place seems really fancy! And so clean too!

: It should. Not many people are able to come up this way. Magic and machines are completely unable to come close to this place.

Isn't your transformation magic in a way?

: Apparently not. It doesn't cost MP anyway.

Fair point. So where is this goddess you keep on going on about?

: She's in here.

*They walk to a nearby (and only) building and enter. There, a girl with a large staff with a scorpion on it sits on a throne. She gets up when Topaz enters.*

: Welcome, keeper of Topaz. It has been a while...

I'm still not sure who you are.

: You do not recognize me? I suppose that I am not to your usual illustrations. Blame making it tradition to have original girls done in such a format. Except for that one Hiroko girl, but she had other differences. But I am MAY HYOU, goddess of Love and keeper of the Love Jade!

*The goddess May strikes a flashy pose. Sparkles appear before her face.*


*Both May and Nina pratfall from Topaz's confusion.*

: Grrr... Let's just say that we'll be changing a lot of things around her-NEXT TIME!
Posted by emperortopaz | Jul 21, 2016 7:25 AM | 0 comments
June 23rd, 2016
This is the Three-hundredth-ninety-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

: Welcome back everyone! And as you see I'll be the announcer this week.

Hey, whatever happened to Koto?

: She suddenly had to leave for some reason. Something involving Aldra-sama.

*Meanwhile, up in the VIP room Aldra is sitting on Koto's back.*

: Ufufu... Seems you're really enjoying this punishment.

: Of course, Aldra-sama. Everyone would love such tender care.

: I knew that you'd make the perfect slave. But I'm not as tender a queen as you may think..

*Aldra lifts Koto's skirt and starts smacking her fat butt.*


*She secretly enjoys it.*

: Ufufu, it's so much fun to tease my subjects. But for now I'm going to keep sitting on your back for the WHOLE fight.

: Sounds wonderful, I'm such a lucky minion!

*Back to the main stage.*

: So anyway, I wasn't paying attention to the battles so far. Can anyone clue me in?

You're not as good as Koto, now are you. Anyway, for the past few weeks I've been climbing the tournament ladder.

: Though to be fair it's more like Mortal Kombat as Topaz has to face everyone in the competition.

Exactly. And we've been her at the Forge Arena as I nearly got disqualified because I had trouble finding it. I manage to beat both Setsuna and Centorea, and last week I had to fight Annelotte. It was a rough battle, but I managed to come through. As you can see. This time I have to face Undyne.

: Sup? Pssst, who are we talking to again?

: Topaz has some sort of "blog" where he talks about Anime girls.

: I see then. Reminds me of what Alphys writes then. But why am I here? Besides to defeat the horrible HUMAN!

*Undyne points to Topaz.*

: You will rue the day that you came to face me!

: I still find it silly that Topaz is doing Undyne. She breaks so many common rules. What's next? Some Overwatch girl? Shield Knight? Some other obscure video game character?

: Hey, wasn't her game voted #1 in some poll or something?

To be fair I wouldn't take GameFAQs as a reasonable judge of gamers.

: Just look at all the stupid whiny Americans! And Topaz is only one of those things.


: Who cares about poles, unless they're the kind that I can impale Topaz with!

I disapprove. Besides, we have to do the blog first!

: Why's that?

I'm not sure, but it's been that way since the first blog this month.

: I think Topaz mentioned something about wanting the girl to hear his thoughts and they often go away after the battle.

: Well then, I guess I just won't have a blog! WAHAHA!

: Oh no! Undyne just launched a powerful psychological attack on Topaz! How will he get out of this one?

Why bother?

: Wait, that's not what you are supposed to say! She may be a troublemaker but we still need to do a girl this week!

True, but we obviously can't do one on Undyne.

: Wait, why's that?

Because you're obviously not AWESOME enough to deserve one.

: GRR! I'll show you JUST how awesome I am! Fine then, do your stupid blog! Bet I'll score ALL THE POINTS! Gwahaha!

: I am surprised that worked, but I'm not complaining...

Anyway, since this girl is raring for battle let me introduce her by saying...

Today's girl is:


: Pssst, does he always say something so odd?

: Usually the links are better, but that's what he gets for using a non-Anime character. I just hope that he doesn't have to put any silly anime relations still...

: What do you say we get this blog on. I'm getting a little hot under the collar. Must be the summer heat.

*Juri tugs at her neckline to get a breeze of wind down her shirt.*

Well then, let's get on with the show!

Hair: Undyne has a really strange hair style. It's pulled back all the way, and looks nearly bald in front most of the time. In fact, at first one could mistake it for part of a plume on her helmet rather than hair. Basically she has her hair pulled back in a ponytail, thought the animation in battle does have a cool bouncy, waving effect. In a certain run through her “powered-up form”, which I'll explain later, makes her ponytail spikier. Her hair is also a bright red, which isn't too bad (that's one of the reasons I thought it was a plume at first). Luckily it doesn't look bad on her, and in battle due to the monochrome enemies it appears white. Undyne does receive some help with a certain date-form, as in Alphys's date she actually styles her hair a bit different. Some of her hair is freed, and she places it over her left eye in a nice feminine style. Though it's completely possible that she's wearing a wig (especially as it's black in that part rather than white). Still, her uniqueness isn't completely bad, and as an aquatic-looking creature having any hair is a surprise.
Grade: C

Eyes: Undyne does not have great eyes for my tastes. One of the first things you'll notice is that she has an eyepatch over her left eye. I don't mind it too much as it makes her seem intimidating, and when in her “improved form” it starts to shoot out lasers! It fits with her personality well, is what I'm saying. What's less interesting is the fact that she has reptilian-like eyes, meaning that she has yellow sclera and vertical pupils. They do not look great, and I really dislike different colored scleras (and she eventually gets black sclera as well). She also wears heavy red eyeshadow, though in battle it's not detailed. Problems aside Undyne's eye shape isn't too bad; she does have a strong tsurime and her thick eyebrows don't look bad either. Overall she does have some problems I have trouble getting over, so she doesn't score too well here.
Grade: C-

Face: Undyne also has a pretty poor taste, though I blame some of that being in a sprite-based game. As you should be able to tell, she has blue skin and fins on the sides of her heads (where ears usually are). They're also blue with red markings, if curious. She does not have a nose, which is a good thing for my tastes, and her mouth is really big. Well, maybe not “really” but it's still large due to having big, yellow, and pointed teeth. Unfortunately her mouth and teeth are a big problem. For one, her upper lip is defined but as a result her side-profile makes her goofy-looking. Her teeth also look buck in both the sprite and most of her battle images. I think that they were trying to make it look like her mouth is constantly a bit open, but it's not a design choice I'd approve of.
Fortunately, the fact that the speaking boxes have character images-and the fact that they're well-emoted-helps Undyne out quite a bit. She has a lot of various emotions that are seen through there. Some of my favorites include a big toothy grin and a laughing version that's really humorous to look at. She also has a more reserve cat mouth-like one too. Overall these help her a bit, but Undyne really doesn't do too well due to her unusual looks.
Grade: C+

Build: Undyne doesn't do too well here either. When we first see her, her body is mainly hidden by the large suit of armor she's wearing. That said, when we see her in a more relaxed outfit it's surprising to see she's so thin. Not in a bad way or anything, but I was expecting her to be more muscular. I guess that's due to the sprites not showing too much detail as she seems to be strong. Also, Undyne doesn't have too much of a feminine figure either. Her hips are a bit wide, but other than that she's skinny. As a plus she does seem to be fairly tall, easily taller than any of her love interests by at least a head or so. I'll also add that she's a fish-like humanoid monster, and Monster bodies in Undertale are somewhat unusual but that's not too important.
Grade: C

Breasts: Undyne has a very slight curve to her upper body, but I imagine that she's more muscular than anything.
Grade: C

Clothes: Finally we get to something Undyne doesn't completely bomb out on! But really, she does have some cool and interesting outfits. We first see her, as said before, in a cool suit of armor. It's black and due to how the location we see her in is she's well-shadowed. In general it's a heart-pounding escape sequence and she's made out to be extremely intimidating. Her helmet also has a glowing eye. In battle it sort of reminds me of armor from a certain long-running shounen anime, which kinda makes sense if you think about it. When in her upgraded “Undying” form her armor becomes spikier (especially on the shoulders and gauntlets). It also gains a heart decoration on the torso and smaller ones on the hands. Undyne also can create and throw big blue spears, presumably made out of energy.
When not in armor Undyne wears a lot of casual outfits. Her main one consists of a black tank top and blue pants with red shoes. It's hard to tell the details of the clothing due to the sprite work, but a lot of games are like that. For a date she also wars a white turtleneck and a black presumably leather jacket. In the ending at the beach Undyne wears a yellow two-piece bikini though the bottom looks more like shorts than a bikini bottom. Overall not too much, but more than I'd expect from a sprite-based RPG like this.
Grade: B-

Personality: As said, when we first see Undyne she's extremely intimidating. This is helped by having other characters build her up for you. During the chase scene there's a lot of goofy moments as well, with a running joke where Undyne gets interrupted by Monster Kid. She's also a fairly difficult battle no matter what, as in the route where you kill things she becomes Undyne the Undying. Other than a silly pun with her name this form shows how determined she is and how much willpower she has. She's extremely hot-blooded as well, which is awesome. Undyne is also honorable, refusing to attack those on the phone and trying to make excuses for hunting the human. She's also extremely passionate about things, always throwing her whole self into something. She even gets egged into becoming the Human's friend through taunting. She also helps out other monsters as well, and is the captain of the Royal Guard. In general she's a cool battle-loving girl. As more information, she doesn't like hot or cold weather (she even has a warm fridge), she may dislike sweet or sugary foods and soda, and she seems to dislike puzzles but enjoys Papyrus's japes. There's also a funny part where she wonders if Anime is real as she was told it defines human history. Luckily you can assure her that it is.

: Why? Is anime NOT real?

I think it is.

: How can you be sure?

Besides all the girls around that are from anime, you mean? Let's see... Personally I've ridden in a mecha, rescued an alien princess from the clutches of a demon king, and seen gigantic swords and magical girls.

: That sounds AWESOME!

That it is. But overall Undyne is a really great, well-defined character that I wanted to blog about. While I probably forgot some things, she's a great battle-loving hot blooded girl with both humorous and caring sides.
Grade: A-

Libido: Undyne has pretty good libido, even if she's more innocent. She's too scared to give her meganekko girlfriend Alphys a note for a date, which leads to confusion. She then interrupts said date when Alphys thinks the main character wrote it instead. In the end scene they nearly kiss, but another character tells them not to kiss in front of the Human. Fortunately Undyne still gives Alphys a kiss in the good ending credits, showing both their love and that Undyne is in the lead. Undyne also goes on a date with the racially-blank Tumblr-gendered Human, giving the Human a lesson in cooking. The cooking becomes so hot and intense that Undyne's house burns down! Wait, perhaps I should have put that better... Oh, and because her house is on fire Undyne goes over to her friend Papyrus's house. While friends they don't seem to have any romantic feelings and are purely platonic.
Grade: B-

Age: Undyne's age is unknown. I'd say that she'd be in the late teens or twenties (considering she's the captain of the Royal Guard), but I can't be sure. Monster ages are strange, as are their romances, in this game. Apparently she also followed a currently-aged turtle on his adventures when she was younger.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 57
Average score: 6.3
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: FINALLY! Now we can actually fight!

You don't have an opinion on the score?

: No. Why, is it really low or something?

: It's on the low side, yes.

: TOPAZ! Now I have another reason to destroy the likes of you! Now, prepare to take my spears!

*Undyne summons spears in various patterns on the ground, spiking them up. Topaz has to roll around, but he avoids them.*

: Looks like the battle has finally started, with Juri sending out a flurry of attacks!

*Crowd cheers.*

: Thank you for the cheering, I'm glad to be considered your champion!

You won't be the champion much longer, as I'll dethrone you! Then I'll face off with Aldra and get her to stop her plans!

: Don't think it will be as easy as you are thinking. Especially if I do THIS!

*Undyne swipes Topaz with a green-colored spear. He is unharmed, but he gains a green heart symbol on his chest.*

Oh no! My hitbox!

: Gwahahaha! Now I have you!

*Topaz attempts to move, but cannot.*

Now I'm stuck!

: She SLASHED you and now you can't move? Man, it's like that one jungle-based robot master in seven all over again! But I thought that green meant you were good at DODGE-ing!

Maybe, but I sure couldn't teach it!

: I blame Gohan being a poor student, perhaps...

: Seems like Topaz is in quite a pickle! Pun unintended. But without his high evasion skills how will he EVER be able to avoid Undyne's spears now?

: Ufufu... I have you now!

*She creates a floating spear and sends it flying in slow motion at Topaz.*

: Hopefully a plumber will leap at it and redirect it! (Hopefully I haven't been making too many references this blog...)

*As the spear is about to hit Topaz he remembers the girl from last time.*

*A shield is created just in time, knocking the spear away.*


: Looks like Topaz has finally used his Mimicry powers. As a result Undyne's powerful spear attack was blocked by his great shield!

: Seems that Topaz has a few more General abilities than I thought... Wait-that joke w-wasn't intentional!

Looks like I thwarted your attack, Undyne!

: That's right, I should just give up and-NOPE! Don't think that a simple SHIELD will get you through this! En GUARDE!

*Undyne surrounds Topaz with spears, attacking one by one. As a result of the floating shield seeming to move how he wants he's able to block all of them.*

That's not how you spell that.

: You must be joking if you think I CARE!

*Undyne starts using odd attacks, redirecting the spears at the last moment. Still, Topaz seems to be blocking them. His heart beats heavily, as if his demon form is trying to get out.*

I can block all day!

: Be careful! Remember that you were able to break through Annelotte's shield with Centorea's strength. Undyne might be the same!

Don't worry, I'll just leave the screen. That way I can get all the dragon's treasures!

: This isn't Shadowgate!

: Plus if you leave the arena you are disqualified.

Holy glasses, forgot that part! Guess I'd better think of a better idea-and QUICK!

*Undyne's attacks continue, though they seem slower for some reason. She pants as she speaks.*

: I'll... break through... this shield! Or my name is not UNDYNE!

*With a burst of power Undyne breaks through the sheild with a charge. However, at this moment Topaz's green-heart status runs out and he barely evades.*

Phew. That was a close one. I nearly got kabobed!

: I have a feeling that's not a real word. And don't be too careless, Undyne may be planning something!

: T-that's.. right... oof.

*She falls face-first to the ground.*

: What the?!

: HOW?! Did you see that folks? Topaz just defeated Undyne. I think. He didn't actually attack at all, but somehow she fell to the floor!

I imagine it's because of the Forge Arena. Aquatic bodies such as Undyne and Juri seemed to be sensitive to the blazing flames and molten metal.

: I was just thinking this land was fairly HOT.

: True. I'm sweating and I wasn't even fighting! Even my BUTT is sweaty!

: Too much information.

I'm sure SOME reader will enjoy that. But it looks like I won this one.

: Don't say that yet. This is a battle to the death, so there's no count down!

I remember Koto saying something like that. But even when the girl obviously can't fight more?

: I want to do something, but those are Aldra's rules. She even mentioned something like...
: Of COURSE you should attack those that can't fight back! Use every VICIOUS ADVANTAGE you have!

You know, that impression was spot-on...

: Mmmbbb-blkkk...

This is no time to be impressed, Undyne needs my help! But what do I have that can quench her thirst?!

: This is beginning to sound like sponsored content. But I doubt it as Topaz didn't bring home another bag of money.

: Looks like you only have a few more minutes left! What will you do, Topaz? Leave your opponent to die, or forfeit and save a life?


*Topaz gets under Undyne's body and tries to pull her away on his back.*

I'll help her-URK! Back... breaking... words... difficult to get out-KYA!

*However, she seems to be too heavy and he falls to the ground. He is able to get out of under her and stand back up.*

What can I do?

: What about one of your many items?

I don't think a picture of lolis or a rabbit's foot will be much use, Ririchiyo. If only some sort of refreshment would fall from the sky!

*Suddenly a vending machine falls from the sky and into the arena. Everyone is shocked.*

: D-did that REALLY just happen?


: Stop joking around and do something!

Fine then... Hmmm, let's see here.

: Why are you even taking so long?

Well, the Fresh Water is more economical but the Lemonade heals more overall...

: We don't have time to go shopping, Topaz. Just pick one!

Fine then!

*Topaz kicks the machine and a can comes out. He then pours it on Undyne.*

Wow, I'm lucky that this was water and not, say, coffee.

*Undyne coughs but picks herself up.*

: Just like the other human... Perhaps humans are not as cruel as I had expected.

: There are plenty of cruel humans, but Topaz certainly isn't one.

: And from those dishonorable rules it seems Aldra is a cruel one. Seems like I have a SPEAR to pick with her. But for now, it seems that our battle is over.

*Undyne hops down from the arena.*

: You can't, like, just GIVE UP like that!

: I'm not “giving up”. Topaz outlasted my attacks, and I don't want to be in this blasted place for one more minute.

*She leaves, only to be confronted by three other shadowy figures backstage.*

: Who are you two?

???: Our names are not important.

???2: All that matters is that you, like us, have a dislike for Aldra.

???3: We are going to strike after Topaz has weakened her in battle. Can we count on you?

: You mean get back at the one that made me fight in such a warm place, knowing I might faint? Then LEAVES me for dead? YEAH I'm going to want to face her!

*The four of them slink back to the shadows.*

: Congratulations, you've finally won the Colosseum matches for once!

Hurray! Though I do wonder how that vending machine came flying through...

I guess that's a matter for another day though. Looks like I'll finally be battling Aldra!

*In the VIP room*

: MENACE! Nothing you've done has gone right! Each of these “Honor blades” have fallen without Topaz even breaking a sweat or into his demon form. I mean sure, that Annelotte form did have a bit more power and I could feel his demon side trying to come out, but we need physical proof! And it's all YOUR fault!

*Aldra turns and points, but sees Airi standing next to her instead.*

: My apologies. *looks around.* Where did Menace go? I have to have a TALK with her.

: Is it like my punishment “talk”? Because it was enjoyable!

: Shut up, you SLAVE!

*Aldra kicks Koto in a sexy dominant fashion.*

: OHH!

*She secretly enjoys it.*

: Ah-HEM. It seems that Menace has left. She's right THERE!

*Airi points to the arena.*

: Hmmm, seems she's going to face Topaz herself. Fine, I'll let her mistakes slide if she makes him use his demon form.

*Back on the arena floor, where Topaz is surprised to see Menace.*

: What's this? Another competitor?

: I am not a competitor. But I have come in place of Aldra-sama.

You can't just change the prize like that.

: Do not worry. You shall face Aldra-sama, but first you shall have to get through ME!

: ANOTHER battle?! Man, if we're going to stay here I'll have to get some type of refreshment.

: Koto will be joining us again next time, and the battle is switching locations.

Not again!

: At least they're telling you ahead of time this time!

Fair point. Where is it?

: We shall face each other in the Terrain Arena. And we shall battle next week, as is natural for your blog.

Seems we've got a girl for next time. I'll be seeing you readers then!
Posted by emperortopaz | Jun 23, 2016 8:25 AM | 0 comments
December 3rd, 2015
Welcome back everyone. Last week we found out a lot of information and blogged about Eirin. Thanks to Topaz's help I was able to escape her kicking us out and met with Kaguya.

: That's me!

Certainly. And as promised last week...

Today's girl is:

Kaguya Houraisan
The Touhou Series

: Woo hoo! Topaz is finally going to blog about me!

: Don't celebrate yet. We don't know if he'll say anything unsightly or something!

: It's alright. I imagine that Empry will give Kaguya the proper treatment she deserves.

: Thanks Topaz! Yaaaayyy!

*Kaguya runs back and forth.*

: Calm down this instant! You'll knock something over!

*Kaguya takes a proper sit.*

: Bubu. You never let me do anything fun.

At least she's letting me blog about you.

: I am, but after that I'll kick you out!

: Such anger. What if Empry is still in pain?

: He's ALWAYS a pain! Er, but I guess I know of another nurse that he can talk to. We'll see after.

Well then, let's get going!

Hair: Kaguya has the best hair in the Touhou universe. Not only that, but she has my absolute favorite hairstyle in general. She has a black hime cut with really long hair in back. Her hair is about waist-length, but there are times where it seems longer. Of course her main attribute is her hime cut, befitting a pure Japanese beauty like her (even if she is from the moon). She has long sides as well, going about to her chest and, while they don't always cover her ears, still greatly frame her face. It's hard to compare to such gorgeous beauty. About the only flaw, if you can even call it that, is that Kaguya does not wear a hat. While not as big of a deal now this made Kaguya really unique when she first came out as pretty much every other character had one. That said it's nothing too major and she looks absolutely amazing anyway so I wouldn't say her hair is anything but perfect.
Grade: A+

: I do TOO have a hat!

*Kaguya puts a pair of panties on her head.*

: Homuhomuhomu!

: Stop that this instant! Act like the princess that you are, or you'll give Topaz a poor impression!

: Fiiiinnneee....

*Kaguya puts the panties back in the drawer.*

: Right, you don't want to be arrested for being a local pervert!

: But I'm from the moon...

: Foreigners are strange.

: Wait a minute, you always wear kimonos.

: That I do.

: So whose panties are those? And why do they have phoenixes on them?

: N-no reason! *averts eyes.*

: KA-GU-YA HOU-RAI-SAN! You better not be going out without my permission!

*Kaguya whistles innocently.*

: I think at this point you'd better continue the blog...

Eyes: Kaguya is said to have dark brown eyes. This is a shame as they almost look red, which would have been nice with her black hair. That said the difference is barely there and some fanartists give her red eyes anyway. I also don't mind brown too much, either. Shape-wise her eyes are similar to Eirin's, but Kaguya's seem much softer due to her natural beauty.
Grade: B

: That reminds me of something that I can use to help my score get higher.

*With a quick flourish Kaguya pulls a pair of folded glasses out of her sleeve. She then opens them up and places them on her head.*

: Ufufufu. With this I'll get an even higher score!

As great as those are, I sadly cannot factor them into my blog. That would be unfair.

: Buuuuu... But they're even red frames which look great with my hair.


: Feel like giving me even a bit more? Huh? Huh?

*Kaguya adjusts her glasses quickly and repeatably, in an obnoxious factor.*

: Wait, is this why you wanted me to make you glasses?

: Gerk! Errrr....

*She averts her eyes and touches her pointer fingertips together. Eirin sighs from her ojousama's displays.*

: Why don't you get on with the blog, Topaz...

Face: Sadly, for a girl that's treated as extremely beautiful in canon I don't see why Kaguya is so different from any other Touhou girl. Not that she looks bad, it's just that there's a lot of similarities. That said I do appreciate Kaguya's small nose and features, and even in the main games she does look very pretty (which is no small feat).
Grade: B+

: How unusual. Many men have been charmed by Kaguya-hime's beauty, but you seem to not appreciate it as much.

She is very beautiful, especially for a Touhou character. However, there are girls from other series that I find more beautiful.

: But hers is a beauty that drives men wild! Helen of Troy, whose face has launched a thousand ships, pales in comparison! What sort of standards could you possibly have?!

Well, you see-

*Kimiko interrupts.*

: The lazy kind. You see Empry would rather not look for one of the devoted items to marry her. He knows that he is not worthy of such beauty, and as a result would rather indirectly insult the princess.

: I see then. You are fortunate that your friend here gave such a likely reason for your excuses.

: He should touch my cheeks to prove how soft they are!

: Wait. You mean the ones on your face, right?

: of course!

: Do not suggest that Kaguya-hime is as depraved as you two are!

As much as I would like it, I would rather not mar her beauty with my commoner hands.

: Fair reasoning. But you shall make it up to her by continuing the blog.

Don't worry, I shall do just that!

Build: Unfortunately, unlike a the above areas Kaguya is not as friendly to my blog. Her body is difficult to tell due to the kimono she wears. She does at least seem slim, and she does seem to have nice legs from the rare occasion we've seen them. There's also question that in one of the games she uses the "Seamless Ceiling of Kinkaku-ji" which is a temple ceiling made of one huge board. I bring this up because one of the books says she lifts this by HAND which may show how strong she secretly is. Still, I wouldn't mind to see more of Kaguya.
Grade: C

: Zettai would love my slender body far more!

True, except that he'd love your butt to be bigger.

: Please! Don't put such thoughts in the head of my innocent Kaguya-hime!

Hey, she thought of it first last week!

: I bet I could use the power of Eternity to make my butt infinite!

That MAY be slightly too big for Zettai.

: Surprises can happen, as I never would think those words would be uttered!

: True. I imagine being middle school-size would be best for him.

: Certainly, much like Reika who is another "beauty"!

: GWAH! I still don't like how the American FLUB gave her the horrible name of "Chloe". I mean, what kind of dumb name is that for the traditional Japanese girl!

I know! They picked horrible names! But this is about Kaguya and not about some silly Glittery girls, so let's continue with her.

Breasts: Much like a lot of other Touhou characters, Kaguya's chest size is unknown. Her images aren't helpful and in general her robes hide her body shape a lot. She's kind of like Patchouli in that way. Personally I believe that she's a flat Japanese beauty. Not quite loli-flat, but enough to look beautiful in kimonos and fitting of her body size. Fan art tends to agree, with Kaguya being mainly flat (there's some odd image that may exist, but they're few and far between especially compared to other characters).
Grade: C

: Speaking of breast sizes-

: Kaguya-hime, leave this matter aside once and for all!

: NO! I must find out the mystery that has haunted me for nearly 300 blogs. Topaz, I ask of you: What is Patchouli's chest size?

: I'm curious as well!

I can't say. I swore to her privacy!

: What's the worse that could happen?

: An age old question gets an answer and one side takes that as evidence that they were right all the time.

: Well then, at least whisper it to me.

I suppose... whisper whisper

: Hey! I can't hear!

: I see I see. It's the opposite of what I was expecting.

: Are you satisfied now?

: Yes, the mystery is safe with me.

: This seems unfair!

You could always ask her yourself.

: I have, but she always slaps me, scolds me for getting into her library, and blasts me out a window with magic.

: You'd think you'd learn after the first time...

I admire her determination, though I should get back to the blog.

Clothes: Like a lot of Touhou characters Kaguya's wardrobe is pretty simple. She wears a pink heavy kimono with white bows down the front and a white collar. Her skirt is burgundy with golden designs. She also has a white under skirt, so you can imagine how difficult it is to appreciate the beauty of her body. That said, kimonos DO look really nice on her. She is a classic Japanese beauty, after all. Luckily for Kaguya I researched a bit of the Inaba manga and found out she wears a few alternate outfits, so good for her! As an example, in one chapter she has a frilly one-piece swimsuit when she's sitting in a kiddie pool. In another chapter she's getting ready to go to a party at the Scarlet Mansion and she puts on things like cat ears and paws, a gothloli dress and another frilly dress, and a boyish outfit with both a necktie and tiny hat. These little moments did well to help her out, though I do hope that there wasn't any that I missed. She also owns a spacesuit, which she dressed Aya in during a lunar exhibition in a book.
Grade: B-

: If only my noncanon lack of panties would help here...*sighs*

: You need to act like a princess and get such perverse ideas out of your head. I blame the computer wrecking your sense of modesty.

: I wouldn't mind if Kaguya was less modest in her dress.

I agree. Just imagine her great classic Japanese beauty in a maid outfit.

: Or Miko!

Or a sukumizu!

: Or a Chinese dress!

Both Topaz and : PANTYHOSE!

: I don't know if I should be fascinated or disturbed by how similar your minds work...

Similar to other brains, I'm guessing.

: Yeah, shouldn't you know that as you're a doctor and all?

: That's not what I meant, and stop getting sidetracked Topaz!

Fine fine...

Personality: I described Kaguya's backstory along with Eirin (sorta) last week, but I'll still go over it. Kaguya was a princess of the moon, but by working together with Eirin she create the Hourai elixir, an immortality potion. This was against the law so she was executed. And executed, and executed. Eventually they caught on to the whole “she's an immortal” thing (though hopefully Kaguya didn't feel pain during these times) and they decided to exile her to Earth. She's since been allowed to return, but refuses as she enjoys spending time on Earth. As far as Kaguya herself, she seems to be carefree but refined at the same time. Her conversation skills are dated, which considering her age isn't that surprising (but it would be cool if she spoke ojou-like). In the Inaba books she's a bit more innocent and naive, which makes her extremely cute. Because Kaguya spent so long in Eientei she's often said to be a hikikomori or NEET who shuns outside interraction, but this isn't true as one of the books says she wants to leave and experience the world. I do like this personality as I can identify with it. She also asks for Eirin's help during her battle, but Kaguya isn't useless as she joins Eirin in HER final battle as well. And of course we can't talk about Kaguya without discussing “Kaguya-hime”, or the Story of the Bamboo-Cutter. In it a bamboo-cutter finds the young infant Kaguya-hime and her interactions with the Emperor (after many failed suitors) and she reveals that her unworldly beauty is because she's from the moon. Though I am cutting it short, the story is very much like Kaguya Houraisan's.
Kaguya has the vague ability to control the eternal and the instantaneous. Both are time-control abilities and are pretty hard to wrap my mind around the exact properties, but Kaguya can keep ancient buildings like new and time stop and other cool things like that. Surprisingly Kaguya has the second-highest amount of Spell Cards, at 41, with the first being Satori at 76 (who copies your partner's spell cards and thus has a lot of different varieties). This isn't counting the Shoot The Bullet spin-offs, though. The reasons Kaguya has so many is that she uses her Impossible Request items (yes, she had them all the whole time, making the requests truly “impossible”) as well as Divine treasures even BEFORE using her true powers of eternity. These include *deep breath* a Jewel from the Dragon's Neck, Buddha's Stone Bowl, Robe of Fire Rat, Swallow's Cowrie Shell, and the Jeweled Branch of Hourai. She adds the Lunar Ilmenite, Red Stone of Aja, Seamless Ceiling of Kinkaku-ji, and something called “Mysterium”. And yes, I imagine that the Jojo reference is intentional considering the first game references ACDC turning one person into a bomb through their blood (though I just know that through research). I'll also add that in Labyrinth of Touhou her ability to completely ignore enemy defenses with multi-target moves and ability to cause a second character to act are both really good. Kaguya may fall short of being one of my favorite Touhou characters, but she's definitely high-ranked.
Grade: A-

Libido: Sadly Kaguya doesn't do as well here either. Much like other Touhou girls there isn't much shown. She is pretty close to Eirin, who serves Kaguya faithfully but sadly not in the femdom sense (or maybe it is too, I can't be sure). There's also the fierce rivalry Kaguya has with another immortal Mokou, though considering they actively send assassins after the other it's a bit less loving than other rivalries. It is a bit of a softer rivalry in certain series, like the Inaba books. There's also technically all the suitors that were after Kaguya, but considering she sends them off on impossible tasks I imagine she was less than excited to be in a relationship with any of them.
Grade: C

: W-WHAT? Me and Mokou, my most hated rival? Being YURI together?! What nonsense!

But that always seems to happen with hated enemies. Plus it's not like either of you are going anywhere anytime soon either.

: Harumph!

*Kaguya pouts cutely.*

: Hey, doesn't she remind you of Ririchiyo when she talks about you?

What do you mean?

: Like when Riri gets angry at you and stuff. She has a similar facial expression.

I don't see it...

: Either way you'd better apologize!


: WAAACHOOO! Hmmm, someone must be talking about me. Good things I hope. And I hope that it's Topa-Er, why am I thinking of him now. I need to stop that, or my arhythmia will act up again.

*Back at Eientei*

: Thanks for the apologies.

You're welcome. I thought that my back was going to give out from bowing so much.

: You need a stronger back. Tell Riri to eat more to make her butt heavier.

Hmmm, great idea. But for now I need to finish up Kaguya's blog.

: Only one more area to go!

Age: Kaguya is ageless, and much like Eirin she's at least 1300 years old. Also like Eirin it's been hinted at that Kaguya is hundreds of millions of years old. Luckily Kaguya doesn't seem as phased by this as her friend is.
Grade: A+

Hmmm, if Kaguya and Eirin are the same age, why is the latter the only one that gets angry at it being mentioned?

: I'm comfortable with my age, and my beauty is timeless as well.

: I get tired of being called a "hag" due to the "Ya" in my last name, like some other characters.

I see then, so you don't have a problem with your age then?

: Not as much as I might have made it seem like last time. But that does NOT excuse people calling me a "hag". That's just cruel.

: Especially for someone who is "Forever 17".

: Exactly-HEY!

Total Grades: 73
Average score: 8.1
Final Grade: B

: Hmmm. That's an interesting score.

Any particular reason?

: Well, I'm around where your favorites score, but is there any reason I'm not one of your top ones?

: Empry is as stubborn as he is lazy. As a result he hasn't changed his favorites from the first game he played.

: But Reisen!

: She's on there for... other, NAUGHTIER reasons...

: I do suppose that she's a useless bunny only good for her sex appeal.


*Reisen walks in.*

Hey, weren't you having foot pain last week?

: I did, but I put some Oinkment on it. Eirin's medicine really does wonders.

Don't you mean "ointment".

: No, it's apparently pig-based.

: Enough fooling around here. It's time for you two to go!

: WAIT! Accept this gift for making it to me. Not many people do so.

: Well, you are a final boss...

*Kaguya takes out a bracelet of some sort and straps it to Topaz's wrist.*

Awesome, I got another item!

: You're really making a haul recently.

True. Though I will say that it seems old.

: W-what? It's certainly not something that I've been trying to get rid of for ages...

And it looks like a hunk of junk...

: That just means that it's ancient. Older than old. A real treasure!

And it smells funny.

: What odor? You don't want it because it SMELLS funny? That's the smell of HISTORY!

: It is wise not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

: Besides, it's not like Kaguya smuggled that inside her butt for years trying to get it to you.

If she did, I'd hope that she'd give it to Zettai instead.

: Fufufu. You are always so silly. I'm going to miss you.

: Indeed, it is time to say goodbye. But don't worry, we'll meet again some day.

You mean it?

: Of course. I mean, you have to pay me SOMETIME. But for now...

*Eirin opens a transportation gate.*

: Go back!

*She pushes Topaz through and closes it.*

: Hey! You shouldn't have that power! That's Yukari!

: But it's a simple ninth level spell, and I'm a mage.

: Fair excuse.

: And don't worry. I sent him to go meet with a nurse that appeals to him better. Well, school nurse anyway.

: Sounds like a facesitting good time! I'm so jealous.
Posted by emperortopaz | Dec 3, 2015 8:06 AM | 0 comments
July 30th, 2015
Anime Relations: Final Fantasy
This is the Three-hundredth-forty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. We're currently up high in the sky on Captain Liliana's ship. I managed to save Ririchiyo, but in the mean time got cornered myself. Luckily a certain video game hero has come to save us!

: And I know who it is! Can you let me tell them?

: Tell me too!

Sure, but first let's spoiler it so the surprise isn't spoiled!

: Wait, so you're saying you're using the spoiler for it's proper use and not just to build suspense.


: I knew it... Anyway, the girl who saved us was...

Posted by emperortopaz | Jul 30, 2015 9:49 AM | 0 comments
December 4th, 2014
This is the Three-hundredth-fourteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Ririchiyo and Rika are relaxing once again in Topaz's living room. Suddenly Kimiko bursts in, a phone on her shoulder.*


: If you're going to say you can save a ton of money...

: No. Plus I already used that joke. My Touhou contacts have finally found Topaz!


: Where is he?

: Uh huh. Yeah. Where is he? *she pauses for the other caller to finish.* He's in the Land of the Dead. *to caller* Wait, really?

*Riri looks concerned while Rika is annoyed.*

: Don't worry, Ririchiyo. Topaz is still alive. He just needs us to go rescue him first! *to caller* And thanks for the news, I'll be sure to keep in touch. *hangs up phone*

: This sounds complicated.

: It isn't. All it will take is a simple teleportation spell. Their Land of the Dead seems to have a lot of leeway.

: Must be a revolving door...

: Wait. Then, if it's so easy to get into why didn't you find him when you searched?

: I can't go to the Land of the Dead. They're making a special exception for the occasion.

: *irritated* And just what did you do to cause the Land of the Dead to kick you out?

: I might have... sort of... Stalked Komachi...

*Rika sighs and facepalms.*

: You'd understand if you saw her! Those great perfect orbs, as if sculped by the heavens themselves...

*Rika kicks Kimiko in the shin.*

: Enough of your dumb fantasies! Is there anywhere else you're banned from going? For future reference, of course.

: I can't go to the underground hot springs any more...

*She remembers the reasons why.*

: Hey, let me guess. It involves breasts in some way.

: Sort of, in a way.

: Pervert...

: That's fine, I just want to find Topaz. Er, because I want to scold him for his thoughtless behavior! (I can't tell them the real reason...)

: It might take a week to get there, or at least until the end of the blog.

: Well then, let's hope that he starts talking about a girl soon!


*In the Land of the Dead, Topaz approaches a desk with a chair rocking back and forth. The chair is facing away from him, and the girl in the chair begins to speak.*

???: So you're the still-living person who arrived in Komachi's boat...

That I am, they call me...

*The girl turns the chair in an epic fashion.*

: Do you think that I, the Yama of this realm, do not know all that pass through it? You're EmperorTopaz, blogger of girls.

Sounds like I'm popular down here. Must be Aya's articles.

: Do not take my power of the Yama lightly. In order for you to leave, I must first judge you.

What a coincidence, I could judge you right back.

: W-what? You do not have such powers!

Well, not to the amount that you have. My numbers are likely more arbritrary, but I'm sure you'd score well.

: Hmmm, although your blog is mostly cosmetic, I cannot say I am not curious to hear your thoughs. Please entertain me. This is a good deed you can do right now.

Well then, I hope it won't send me to hell but-

: I assure you, nothing you will say will change your stay or leave here. My answer will be unchanged.

What? You've already decided what to do with me?

: I have. After years of reviewing I've gotten quite fast at it. Do not think I am sloppy though, I have weighed the options clearly. I am just curious as to what one such as yourself thinks of me.

Well then, it seems that...

(Note: I may be using fanon/personal opinions about Touhou characters)

Also, I'd like to add that her name has many translations. These include "Shikieiki", though it should be two words, and "Sikieiki", as she was first translated as. Japanese can be complex sometimes. So which would you prefer?

: Call me by my title: Yamaxanadu.

That sounds like a long and complicated name. I'll just call you Shiki.

: *sigh* I suppose I did know that you were lazy... I have not qualms with it, though.

Well then, let's get on with the blog!

Hair: Shiki has greenish-blue hair, being more green than blue. It's a cool color, and one that's not too common. Speaking of not too common, she has about two different hair lengths in that the hair on the right side of her head goes past her shoulder while the left side is cut short. The left is nearly boyish as well, showing her ear, but not on the right. It's hard to tell exactly how long her hair is, but in the manga she seems to just be a long side-bang. Speaking of bangs Shiki's are pretty nice. I'm not too fond of the part in the middle though, she deserves a true hime cut rather than two parathesis.
Of course, we can't forget about one of Shiki's most notable features: her hat. Shiki's hat is one of the most ornate and fanciest hats in all of Gensokyo. It looks like a crown, having gold decorations and crown "tips" around a blue fabric. It also has a blue belt around a white cloth. Finally, she has a red-and-white ribbon, with the right being red on top and white on bottom while her left is the opposite. I really like her hat.
Grade: B+

Eyes: Unlike Komachi last week, Shiki has not been in any fighting games. As a result we're mainly stuck with the main game and some manga moments (having a Touhou character get forced to use their game is not a good thing). She doesn't have special eyes, and about the only big thing is that her eye color is a bluish and looks somewhat similar to her hair.
Grade: B-

Face: Like with eyes we don't have a great source for Shiki's face. At least she faces forward, which is sort of special compared to other characters. As with most Touhou characters she does have fairy small features, though it's possible that Shiki is somewhat pale (at least to me). One notable thing is that she'll keep a patient smile when scolding people, unlike some fan sources where she's quick to anger.
Grade: B-

Build: Like a lot of Touhou characters, Shiki doesn't have a set way for people to draw her. Shiki herself may be one of the biggest differences. You see, a lot of the time she's portrayed as a short girl, and that's the way I see her as well. However, this is a product of sprite limitations (her hat takes up some of the area) as she seems to be as tall as Komachi. Considering Komachi is quite tall I was surprised by this, even going against canon to think of Shiki as still being a short girl. Nothing wrong with lolis, after all. I like the extra contrast. Her height also appears a lot shorter in the Grimore of Marisa as well. Of course, either way we don't have much to go on. She does seem somewhat stocky, but I blame that on a possibly thick outfit. For some reason, Shiki DOES have one unique feature in fanart: she's a leg girl. I'm sure at least one of my friends will appreciate that...
Grade: C+

: Hmmm... Seems that writing this blog is difficult.

Well, I don't have much to go on. Perhaps if you show me your body...

: *Blushes and covers herself* W-WHAT? HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!

I don't mean you have to get naked or anything. I meant you should get out from behind that desk. I can't see your lower half, and your height could be hidden by a high seat in that chair.

: High... chair... Are you calling me an INFANT?

No no no. Even if I think you're short you're not THAT bad. I just mean that it's hard to get your sitting height from this position. And if you're not coming out, I'll just look back there and-

*Shiki holds out her Rod of Remorse to prevent him from going further.*

: That's enough. No one is allowed at this seat other than ME! Blog or not!

Fine then. I guess it'll be a great mystery like with Patchouli's bust size.

: Oh, I know that.


: Not telling you though.


: Just get back to the blog.

Breasts: B-but I don't want to talk here next. I plead the fifth!

*Topaz get struck with the Rod of Remorse.*

: Stop that this instant! There's no reason for you to stop the blog here. Do your job!

*Topaz sighs* I suppose it would be unfair to skip this. Alright. Again, this area is a flexible. However, it's pretty given that she has a modest if not flat chest. This is how I see it, and it plays up the contrast between her and Komachi well. That said it's also gone so far as to make Shiki jealous of Komachi and wanting large breasts herself. However, this is more the fanon personality rather than the more accurate one. It's hard to tell officially, but I imagine she has a flat chest.
Grade: D

So how was that?

: A bit more depressing hearing about it from you, but I have no problems with my chest size. You may continue with the blog.

Clothes: Despite not having a lot of outfits I do like Shiki's. It's a military-like dark blue vest with red buttons and gold decor on the shoulders over a white shirt and a short black skirt. She also has ribbons on her forearms, which are red and white. Her alternate outfit makes her hat and dress be red while her white shirt is purple. She also always carries the Rod of Remorse with her as well, which she uses to punish people by writing their sins on them. She also has a cleansed crystal mirror, which reflects past deeds and is tiring to use, but it's not shown in her sprites. Hers takes the form of a hand mirror. Finally, as said before, Shiki is a leg girl. As a result of this, or maybe her short skirt, she became known to have zettai ryouki. No, not the other blogger, I mean she had thighhigh socks. It's strange though, considering that after that her OFFICIAL leg wear was shown and she seems to have extremely low socks as to mock that idea (though it does show off more of her legs, so who knows).
Grade: B+

Personality: Shiki is the Yama in charge of Gensokyo. For those who don't know, a Yama is the person who judges the deceased on where they go after death. As a result, she can see into a persons past deeds and scolds them if they misbehave. Her lectures are so well-known that Yukari, probably the strongest character in Gensokyo, is afraid of Shiki. This may just be because she's avoiding the lectures, but still. However, she's just trying to keep people from going to hell, rather than sending them for no reason like Fanon tends to think. If anything her motto of "Hell does not exist to punish sinners. Hell exists to ensure that no-one sins." is more supportive of the opposite. She also doesn't discriminate between youkai and humans, telling both Reimu and Yuuka (who is a youkai) to do their jobs better. Shiki does preach a lot to the characters, but to be fair they're not exactly the most righteous and she's doing it with patience. Most of the time, at least. She's a bit harsher with Komachi, but this is more a case of a boss getting mad at a lazy employee rather than Shiki being jealous of Komachi's chest (or anything else the fanon could come up with).
Shiki's ability is to establish something as good or bad (basicaly black and white). While this doesn't seem like a powerful ability, do realize that you can't overturn her opinion. Even a popular "OBJECTION" would have no effect against this judge! She's also the final boss as well, so you can imagine she's pretty powerful. In the Touhoumon games her "Judgement" is the only OHKO attack in the game and only she can learn it. She's also a Steel/Psychic type, though sadly she doesn't have a mega evolution (this was in Gen III). Overall I really like Shiki. She's one of my top Touhou characters still, and in general I like "lawful" girls like her. It would help if fanon stopped taking her lectures to the extreme. Though I do like her "Danzai Yamaxanadu" fan video, but that could be because her song (Fate of Sixty Years) is so good. Also, while I haven't heard anyone else think of it, her odd choice of Kanji for her name makes me think of chuunibyous for some reason.
Grade: A

Libido: Like with Komachi last week, there's no official sources for her libido. Probably the closest to her would be Komachi, hence one of the reasons I pair the two. To be fair Shiki is the tsundere one in their relationship, but I don't hold it against her.
Grade: C

Age: As a yama Shiki is immortal, and her actual age is unknown. Due to her size she's sometimes portrayed as a child, but I just assume she's sort (as said before). Komachi also says that she was originally a jizou statue who came to life after receiving enough faith.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 64
Average score: 7.1
Final Grade: B-

And that's your blog. What do you think about it?

: I did enjoy it, though I'm surprised that I scored the same as my lazy employee. How did that happen?

Well, let's just say that, while you're one of my favorites, there are certain areas where you're lacking. Komachi, on the other hand, has those but I'm not as big a fan of hers in other places.

: I see. Well, it's time to make my judgement... Topaz, you are-

*Topaz gulps, but Shiki's door swings open.*

???: Let Topaz go!

: Who keeps me from my business!

*Riri, Rika, and Kimiko all walk forward.*

: See, I told you we'd make it in time.

: That you did, though no thanks to Kimiko...

*Kimiko turns towards her, showing a red hand-print mark on her face.*

: Hey, it's not my fault Komachi was just sleeping there...

: You were staring at her! No wonder she slapped you!

: But....


*The three girls stare at Shiki, who clangs her Rod on the desk.*

: I'm not a fan of monkeying around in my room. If you have something to say, tell me then leave. I have a judgement to give.

: Alright then, please let us take Topaz back!

: Oh, you're vouching for him? Perhaps you'd like to remind me of his past deeds, and I'll see if they sway my opinion. After all, I do know you're a pervert...

: (P-pervert? What was Topaz doing with her) Uhm, He stopped Kanon, Tsukiko, and Hayate just this year. The latter was also a worldwide problem, from what I heard.

: Before that he defeated Maho who was attacking in a giant ship. He also defeated her minions of Iria and Chinatsu.

: Even before that he beat Dokuro-chan, Hinagiku, Quattro, and Tae as well as the space loli Riro who was planning on stealing all glasses for herself.

: Weren't all those battles BECAUSE he was doing his job?

Er... uhm...

: No matter, your words refused to change my opinion. Topaz, for entering the Realm of the Dead without dying, I sentence you to... Leave.

NOOO! Wait, what?

: You can just go. I knew about all these things before thanks to my mirror. Hearing your assistants talk so highly of you is commendable, though. I can't fault you for doing your job either.

: Topaz is.. free?

*She starts to tear up and hugs Topaz, quickly joined by the other two.*

: Wow, it's like she was able to read our minds!

*Kimiko coughs and blushes a bit.*

: Something wrong?

: I-I'm just so relieved that Empry is finally saved! Thank you, Yama!

: I approve of you upholding my verdict. BUT! I will have you return with the help of a shikikami. I can't have you walking back and forth through the threshold of death at will.

*Komachi peeks her head out of the doorway.*

: I don't know who you're getting to do it, but do remember that I'm not a valid target.

*Kimiko feels glares from Komachi.*

: That's fine, I luckily have a loaned one from another Yama. I hope you don't mind.

As long as I'll be alive, I don't mind!

: Good! Especially as I want to see at least one more good deed by the end of the year.

I'm sure that I'll find a way.

*A blue haired kimono girl flies through the door on an oar. She's wearing a pink kimono.

: You wanted me, Shiki Eiki?

: That I did, Botan. I want you to escort these four out of here. Maybe watch over them a bit, to make sure nothing funny happens.

: *salutes* On it!

*Botan escorts the four of them out. As they leave Komachi rushes in.*

: What is it? Looking for another excuse to get out of work?

: No, it's THIS!

*Komachi pulls an envelope out of her cleavage, which Shiki opens and reads. Her mouth opens in shock.*


: You know I don't like that Kimiko girl!

: But still, I can't believe that remnants of that book were somehow sensed in this area! They must have been brought here by some sort of spirit. Close down the doors, make sure it doesn't escape!

: ON IT!

*Topaz and others are outside of the castle as the portcullus shuts behind them.*

Well, that was a close one. Everyone out?

: Yeah.

: We're all here.

: I wonder what happened to make them close it down. That shouldn't happen.

I'm sure they just want their privacy...

*Suddenly a shooting pain is sensed in Topaz's body. He grasps his chest and falls to one knee.*


*She goes and checks.*

Y-yeah, I'm fine. I just probably have a bit of a headache from staying in there so long...

*He stands up and continues, unaware at the remnants stuck in his chest pulse slightly with demonic power...*
Posted by emperortopaz | Dec 4, 2014 10:37 AM | 0 comments
November 27th, 2014
This is the Three-hundredth-thirteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We start this blog at Topaz's house. Rirchiyo is pacing while Rika is playing 3DS.*

: Hey, what's a good name for my starter?

: I don't know, Captain Punch? I can't think with Kimiko looking for Topaz like this.

: Uh-huh... And what should I call this HM Slave I just caught? It's a beaver, if you need to know.

: Anthony. Wait, how can you be playing video games while Topaz is out there?

: Well, it's not like I can do much here! All we can do is wait.

: True...

*Suddenly Kimiko Topaz comes through the door. She takes off her snow supplies and looks disappointed.*

: I don't like that look. Please tell me you found Topaz!

*Kimiko shakes her head.*

: Oh come on. It's obvious what's happened. She found him, and she's going to act like this to get our hopes up. Then Topaz is going to crash through the door and we'll praise him for finally getting here.

*Kimiko bows her head while Rika fakes laughter.*

: Wahahaha... You two have got us good! Really Topaz. You can come out now!

*Ririchiyo places her hand on Rika's shoulder.*

: I-I don't think she's joking. Are you...

: I'm afraid this is no joke. I've been EVERYWHERE and can't find Topaz anywhere! Either he's lost forever or he's purposely avoiding me! I even asked everyone I know to keep an eye out for him!

: I hope we get information soon...

Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 27, 2014 9:04 AM | 0 comments