emperortopaz's Blog

December 7th, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-seventy-first week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back, my dear readers. To catch you up a little, we've been going through the girls of Maho Girls Precure. Last week we did Mirai and we did Riko a few weeks back as well.

: Blame Topaz keeping up with traditions and sliding a Touhou blog in there.

I'm sure my fans enjoyed it. Anyway, as I promised this week we'll be looking at-

: ME!

: Calm down, Kotoha. Don't interrupt Topaz when he's talking. That's rude.

: *pouting* Haaaa~.

Don't worry. It keeps me from having to introduce her.

: Didn't you already say that you were going to do her last week though? Plus you have to put that one template first.

Good point about-wait, how did you know about that?

: I read my blog, at least.

: It isn't often that a girl reads her blog after Topaz does it. Usually they just pay attention during the blog.

: But I was just so excited about Kotoha's blog that I wanted to read my own!

: Looks like you've got a fan of your blog, Topaz.

If she was that excited she should have read Zettai's blog about Kotoha first. It's no doubt better than mine since he likes Kotoha more.

: Do not worry, I will appreciate you doing my blog just as much. And I made sure to reward Zettai in ways that showed my appreciation too <3.

Sexy! But before we get too distracted let's begin by saying...


: I go by many names it seems, haaa~

That's right. Though I can't remember if I put the Cure names in the title as well.

: You didn't for us, so I'm guessing that you don't.

: Or you might have stopped a while ago and just not do it anymore.

Both are good solutions. Either way it's time that we start talking about Kotoha!

Hair: Kotoha has surprisingly lovely hair. While not a color I usually like her light pink hair looks very nice and fits well with her green hairband. The flowers on the hairband are also a nice touch. The style is also quite nice, with her sides and back reaching about to her chest or so (though in her younger forms she had shorter hair). Her hair also has great volume and looks very great. I'm not a huge fan of the exposed forehead, but the arched bangs with curved ends are cool (even if they make me think of a mustache). As Cure Felice her hair becomes much longer (reaching her knees or so) and her hairstyle becomes braided in heart-shaped braids. She also has a circlet around her forehead and butterflies, but like with her civilian form her forehead is exposed. Overall Kotoha does well, and while she has an exposed forehead her voluminous and long hair helps a lot.
Grade: B

Eyes: Kotoha also has lovely eyes. They are green which are nice and match her Cure colors as well. Her eyes are also very pretty, even though they are a tarame. She has a small amount of eyelashes, which become more pronounced as Cure Felice (which I like as they're in the corners in her eyes). That said, as a fairy as well as Cure Felice she does have a pink flower in her eyes. I'm not a big fan of that, but luckily it's not all the time. It also matches the flower theme she has, which I like. Kotoha could do better, especially since she could use glasses.
Grade: B-

Face: Kotoha's face is like the other two. This means that she's extremely cute and I like how she has a small nose and mostly small features. It isn't quite a dot nose, but fairly close. She also has a lot of cute expressions, especially with how cheerful her wide smiles are. Overall she does great here.
Grade: A

: Ha~ This is very similar to Zettai's blog though with some minor things changed!

That is a good way to look at it. Are you enjoying yourself here too?

: Of course! Everywhere is a fun time! Though speaking about Zettai reminds me of something...

: His blog?

: Perhaps, but I mean a much more recent occasion...

: And that's the type of night I had!

*Riko and Mirai both have red faces, though Ririchiyo and Topaz seem not as affected.*

: W-well, we won't say too much against it, but do be careful with other men, Kotoha.

: Indeed. Though I suppose that this might mean that you do well in libido.

That would be nice, and she'd do extremely well in other areas if she had that huge ass in canon. Sadly she does not, but that doesn't mean that we can't continue to talk about her.

: Hey wait a minute. Don't think that you can mention fanservice without talking about your own!

What are you talking about?

: Don't you remember? That beautiful girl Aika brought you that one useless discipline girl Rin or something.

Ririchiyo, we've been here the whole week. If there was a girl waiting for us at the house I wouldn't know...

: I suppose that's fine then. But then how did Kotoha get to Spain and back so quickly?



: I hate how that's both a cop-out and a reasonable answer considering the girl...

Don't worry too hard about it. But do know that we'll be getting back to Kotoha's blog now!

Build: Kotoha has a fairly standard body for a teen girl in a series targeted to young girls. She's pretty slender and doesn't show off too much either. Well, I suppose that she shows off her legs but they are pretty meh. Probably the best moment of Kotoha in a sexy moment is when she got stuck trying to slide through some bars. This means that her ass is bigger than she realized, and it got quite a bit of fanart as well. Kotoha also has a very large giantess form that's used late in the series, but it's too big for my liking. Oh, and speaking of alternate forms I should mention that early on Kotoha/Ha-chan had a much smaller infant/child like fairy body. I'm not counting that though, just her normal teen-sized body. It's not too bad, but she could have used sexier moments (which, being fair, aren't usually in shows for young girls).
Grade: C+

Chest: Like in the previous area, as well as Riko and Mirai before her, Kotoha doesn't have much to speak about here. Her chest isn't shown off, and she's mostly flat like the others.
Grade: C

Clothes: Kotoha does a lot better here. She has a cute default dress with a ruffled blouse and blue/yellow skirt. She also wears school uniforms like the other two, with the witch-like one again standing out well. During the beach episode she wears a bikini that shows her navel which isn't bad, but otherwise it's not great. Mostly due to the frilly skirt. She wears a better swimsuit with inner tube in an image for a calendar, and there's also a Christmas dress image as well. Felice is pretty cool, with a poofy skirt with flowers, cool looking legwear, and cute sleeves. I'm not a big fan of the rose on her chest as it brings a bit too much attention to that part. Sadly she doesn't get quite the variety that the other two Cures do, with their various gemstone transformations. There's also the very many outfits Ha-chan wore as a fairy, such as a thunder god, a unicorn, an UFO, and many other cute things that she also got the special abilities of. Overall Kotoha does quite well for the type of series she's in but I wouldn't have complained if she had more outfits xD.
Grade: B-

: HAAA~ If only the clothing I wore for Zettai counted for my score. Sadly the blog only counts canon things.

Exactly-wait, what outfits?

: Well, I'm glad that you asked...

: I'm not. It just means more fanservice scenes. Haven't we had enough of those?

We can never have enough fanservice scenes. Anyway, as you were saying...

: And then the spell ended and I felt really silly!

I can understand that. I imagine that Zettai enjoyed it quite a bit.

: Indeed. Though I'm more glad that he changed back.

Of course! Now, how about we get back to the blog?

Personality: Kotoha is a fairly complicated character. She starts out being born from a flower early on, and lives as an infant that lives inside the smartome. She is then taken care of like a baby (which she is), but after using more of her power she eventually returns as a teen (though she does have a few more steps before that, with older forms and such). When she returns she can also turn into Cure Felice, being the third member of the Cures. She also has the power of a divine goddess, and can do a lot of magic that people thought previously was impossible.
Overall Kotoha is a great cheerful girl. She has a great love of having fun, though sometimes Mirai and Riko scold her for misusing her magic too much. Though those moments were funny, as was her mischief in her younger form. She did well in her Cure form, though the problem is that she only had two real attacks and one was a shield (it may be due to not having as many gemstones as the other girls, which is kinda a shame). She's quite a cute girl, and I like her cute Ha~ verbal tic too. Oh, I should probably mention that Kotoha's VA is Saori Hayami who does an amazing job as she often does. Maho girls just has a great vocal cast, it's really awesome!
Grade: B

Libido: Unlike the previous two Cures Kotoha really doesn't show much libido. She's the third member of the trio and tends to seem more like a child with the other two being her parents. She sadly doesn't even get a love note or anything as that would have been cute. Overall she sadly lacks shipping and is a very innocent girl for this area.
Grade: C

Age: Kotoha's age is quite complicated. Technically she was born in the series a a fairy child. She then ages up through the first half, eventually ending up being about middle school age after the first big bad. It's possible that she's a lolihag, but that's because it's implied that she's the reincarnation of a goddess. I don't really understand if that makes her really old or not, so I'm just using her main teen age to go off of. She also doesn't change much during the time skip, probably because she's a fairy but still. Kotoha is older-looking as a Cure. Being fair the other two are similar, but Kotoha in particular is noticeable as during the transformation there's a sequence where it shows her in various age stages. Finally, her fan-accepted birthday seems to be December 3rd, the date that a toy based off what she was contained inside (the Smarttome) came out in real life.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 62
Average score: 6.8
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the week. What do you think about that?

: Haaaa~ It's unfortunate that Riko and Mirai both scored higher than me!

In all fairness it's mostly their higher libidos that helped out. Well, and I really like Riko's design as well. She's a great Cure.

: O-of course I am. This was all thanks to my calculations.

: And it's good to be blogged as well. Thank you for having us.

Thank you for coming here. And also for saving me from a giant fire elemental.

: That sounds like loads of fun! Why wasn't I called?

Because these two were here for a fashion show anyway.

: Wait! That's a good point. Kotoha hasn't had her transformation or attack video.

Good point! Let's have them right now, before she leaves.

: Haaa~ Such good videos. And now, we shall bid goodbye!

See you girls when I need you next!

: Fortunately it won't be for a while. Not that we see you, I mean as far as I don't want action anytime soon.

*The three girls understand and wave. They then get on their brooms and fly off. Ririchiyo takes a deep breath.*

: Well, now that the after-battle is done what are we going to do now?

I think we should go home. Then after relaxing for the week during next week's blog we'll search out the next girl.

: Oh? I'm surprised that you have a girl in mind.

That I do.

: Any clues?

What do you have under your skirt?

*Riri hits Topaz with a fan, blushing a lot. A lump forms, but no damage is done.*

: You know not to talk about that during the blog!

This does have something to do with the girl though!

: What, does the girl have a fat loli ass or something?

Sadly no. I meant more what you're WEARING under the skirt!

*Riri hits Topaz again. Another lump emerges.*

: You know the answer to that! Stop being perverse!

Just tell the audience, Riri!

: S-spats... *blush*

*Topaz seems surprised.*

And nothing underneath?

*Topaz gets a third lump.*

: Stop bringing up perverse things, Topaz! What, are you wanting fanservice for yourself now?

Nonsense. *Sigh* Seems I can't make that comment. For an easier time, think of a certain pair of Angel sisters.

: Angel sisters?

Right. And one of them has a somewhat-Christmas-y name. More specifically what you hang by the fireplace. Next week is her blonde sister.

: Ah! Now I understand what you were trying to do.

*Riri smacks Topaz for a fourth time.*

Ow! Well, not that I took damage but still. What was that for?

: For making such a roundabout reference that ended up not working. *Sigh* But at least you have a grasp on who you'll be doing next week. Do be sure to join us, readers!
Posted by emperortopaz | Dec 7, 7:30 AM | 0 comments
November 30th, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-seventieth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. We're back with the Maho Girls Cures, as I've returned from the Touhou universe from last week's blog.

: Being fair you were here last week at the end, but that's splitting hairs and I'm not a certain terrible writer.

Thank goodness for that. Anyway, as promised this week we'll be talking about Mirai.

: Though being fair that's just because I allowed Topaz to do Mirai first. I'll be coming next week!

That you will be. I'm sure that Zettai is looking forward to it, even if it won't be as great as his on you.

: I'm sure that he will still appreciate it!

True, but this week we'll be discussing Mirai.

: Don't you have to ask her if you can do her blog first?

: I thought that it was implied by me asking a few weeks ago. Still, I'm perfectly fine with it!

That's good, and I like how Riko has asked for me.

: Your laziness knows no bounds. Eventually you're just going to sit back and have the girl write the blog for you.

I'm not quite that lazy. Besides, don't you remember when Tomoko wrote her own blog and gave herself full points?

: Oh yeah-wait, was that really over four years ago?!

Time flies when we're having fun.

: That explains why it's taking so long getting to the introductions... (Grrr, I can't stop insulting Topaz's blog even though he doesn't deserve it. I'll have to write loads of apologies, or m-maybe I can trick him into thinking it was a joke)... Er, I mean shouldn't we introduce Mirai?

Good plan Ririchiyo! And as promised a few weeks back...

Today's girl is:

Mirai Asahina
Maho Girls Precure

: Asahina... Asahina... Now where have I heard that name before...

I don't think that it's in the series, and this isn't like K-On! with Tsumugi sharing a last name with her VA.

: Oh! I think that way back when the series was just being talked about you mentioned something about another character.

: Ah yes. You compared her to someone by the name of "Mikuru Asahina".

I do remember that, even if it was a really long time ago. Though being fair only the first Kanji and last name match, "Mikuru" is based on "Miku" which then when written in Kanji is "Mirai" for "Future". Or at least that's what I've heard.

: Topaz is very bad at Japanese it seems!

That I am. To the point where I almost compared a language to giant monsters (which are Kaiju). Luckily I re-read these before posting! And my terrible writing won't stop me from talking about Mirai!

: Why would that stop you? This is so exciting, hearing your thoughts about me!

Thank you for that, and now we shall continue onward!

Hair: Mirai has cute sorta-wavy golden blonde hair. It's not a great color, but not extremely awful either. She also has some slightly messy strands around which is cute, but most of her hair is kept up in a bun with a ribbon. A problem is that Mirai usually has her hair up, and when down it's not too long sadly. It only reaches her shoulders or so. The hair is much longer as Cure Miracle, but that has the problem of a side tail. She does have hair trailing down the back of her body though, reaching her waist which is a great length. The tips of her hair in Cure form also sort of curl inward as well. To help out further the other jewels help by adding more variety with twintails (in Ruby form), a ponytail (in Sapphire form), and braided rings (in Topaz form). Another hairstyle that was cute was that at the beach she kept her hair up in twintails (though with how short her hair is they're quite stubby-looking). Still, she does a good job here even if she could do better. Oh and like Riko she wears a witch's hat which is quite cute, while her Cure form has one on a hairband.
Grade: B

Eyes: Mirai does have really great eyes for my tastes. She has purple eyes, which are my favorite eye color and look really good with her hair (though that may just be my bias thinking that). Her eyes are nice and round, but it's a shame that she has a tarame and not a tsurime. That said the upper line of Mirai's eyes look quite thick and nice. She does have a lot of eyelashes (including some under the eye), though they aren't too serious and are hard to notice unless you're looking close. Overall I say that Mirai's eyes are shiny and beautiful, with her eye color doing a lot of heavy lifting. While mainly as a joke Mirai does wear glasses. Sure they're the kind with the mustache for Riko's birthday party, but they're black with thick frames which look pretty nice.
Grade: B

Face: Mirai does really well here too. Like Riko she has soft cute features which make her look really adorable. She has a small nose which is good. Mirai also has some great expressions and usually shows her expression freely (unlike Riko who is stoic and tsundere at times). Both are great though,
Grade: A

*Something shiny catches Topaz's eye. He walks over to where it is to check.*

: What are you distracted by now?

A shiny object.

: I thought you were better than that.

But if it's shiny that means it's important! Maybe it's treasure from that boss we fought!

: Did you just say Treasure?! How exciting!

*Topaz finds what it is, as a ruby is laying there.*

It's just a ruby. Well, not "JUST" because precious gems are pretty cool, but it doesn't look too magical. Granted I have no magical education so who knows.

: We've already found the ruby were were looking for, so I suppose that you can have it.

I was hoping for that!

*With excitement he bends over and picks up the gem. He then tosses it between his hands.*

Hey look! I got a Ruby! Ow ow ow! It's still warm!

*Topaz juggles the ruby, which was still warm from the fires somehow. He blows on his hands, and fortunately he didn't take damage from it.*

: Put that down this instant, you don't know where it's been!

But it's worth like 5,000 gold pieces. I could get a cool new weapon for that!

: Fine then. Just don't come crying back to me when you've done 61 actions and die as a result.

Wow, you saying that fills me with Déjà vu.

: Uninvited, actually. But that's not important!

Indeed. What is important is talking more about Mirai, so let's continue with the blog!

*Topaz slips it into his pocket and continues with the blog.*

Build: As a character in a show for young girls, Mirai doesn't have that great of a body. She's fairly slender and isn't shown off too much. Her legs are also slender as well, which is quite unfortunate. You can see the curve of her waist as a Cure, and there's also some VERY minor asscurve in her swimsuit (wearing shorts helps). It would help if she could show a bit more or had more curves (like a bigger ass).
Grade: C+

Chest: As with most Cures (and middle school girls in general) Mirai is mostly flat. She's also not shown off much either, especially considering what target demographic the series she's from is for. Her swimsuit does seem to bring a bit of attention to her chest due to a ribbon, but nothing is shown.
Grade: C

Clothes: Mirai's wardrobe is quite varied, which is always a good thing. She has the same uniforms as Riko though as Mirai lives in the nonmagical world their original outfits are the opposite of one another. Anyway, cut and pasted for ease: While in the mundane world the school uniform consists of a yellow blazer over a white shirt, pink ribbon around the neck, and red pleated skirt. She also wears white socks but they aren't even knee-high. It's not too interesting, though I do like blazer uniforms and the ribbon makes me think of bow ties. While attending magical school the uniform includes a white shirt with puffy sleeves and frills at the wrist, what seems to be a cape over her shoulders with a red belt/overalls (I'm not sure what that article of clothing would be), a red plaid ribbon, her witch's hat I mentioned earlier, and black socks (though with the same problem). Also like Riko Mirai also wears a Swan Lake outfit while being a model for a friend.
Mirai also has other outfits. There's a lot of casual outfits, though I can't think of any in particular (excluding the cute heart shirt she wore to Riko's party and had beaded bracelets with). She actually wears a bikini in the beach episode, even if the top is a bit longer than most bikinis. She also has a ribbon in the front with a band around her chest, light blue shorts with frilly leg holes, and a jacket on occasion. A few other outfits include a mouse outfit in the Cinderella parody and a cute pair of pajamas. Of course we can't forget about her Cure forms. They're pretty close to Riko's in design. The Diamond one being pink isn't as good as Riko's but works fine, I like the red gothic lolita-looking Ruby, the cute Arabian-inspired Sapphire looks good with slight navel appeal, and while sadly Mirai's Topaz form does not involve pudding it instead has a candy theme. Overall she does really well overall, even if she could be better.
Grade: B

: Hmmm, so you don't enjoy my outfits?

: Don't worry too much about it. You got the same score as I did, and apparently even if he enjoyed mine more it wasn't enough to go up a grade.

It is a shame, but you two do have a lot of similar outfits. Mirai does have the better casual wear and swimsuit while I like Riko's purple Diamond outfit more. Still, it's not like you have anything too memorable.

: Haaa~ I know how to change that!

: Ha-chan, no!

*Riko's warning is too late and Kotoha uses magic. The three of them are wearing thick-framed glasses now, and even Ririchiyo is too. Sadly their images do not show this.*

: I-is this all you wanted? I'm sure that we can keep these on.

: You'll make Topaz happy if you did.

: Harumph, your happiness is none of our concern. You should just be glad I'm too lazy to take them off and look so good in them.

I AGREE! That said, I don't count glasses with clothing. They go in a separate idea with the eyes.

: So what could we do for clothing to make it more memorable for you?

: Before this gets into fanservice I'd like to remind you girls that nothing you do in the blog itself can change your grades.

: We know that. We're just curious as to what Topaz was expecting.

Just sexier outfits in general.

: Sexier outfits, coming up!

*Riko and Mirai both hold Kotoha from casting the spell.*

: Haaa? Why did you stop me?

: We don't know what you'll put us in. I don't even know where you'd learn what was properly sexy either!

: Do not worry. Zettai told me about all kinds of clothing that we could wear. Even if he mainly liked my gigantic fairy ass that was crushing him.

: Perhaps we should have a talk with Zettai about you, Kotoha. But for now we can't wear skimpy outfits!

I see how it is. You'll dress up for your friend but not for me... Sigh...

: Don't try to guilt the magical girls, Topaz.

: Well, if it would cheer you up.

: I'm against it, but if Mirai is willing to do it I will.

: Topaz needs to stop manipulating innocent girls...

But they're not too innocent!

: Well, let's see here.. Cureup Rapapa!

*With a mighty swoosh of her wand Kotoha changes the outfits Mirai and Riko are wearing into bathing suits. Mirai has a lovely black bikini with thong and Riko has a skimpy purple sling swimsuit. They turn bright red from this.*

: KYAAH! I wasn't expecting to be showing off this much!

: Look at how much of my butt is exposed!

Thank you for the invitation, I'll take you up on that!

*The camera shows off their beautiful barely-clothed asses.*

: I'm so glad that you enjoy my handiwork, Topaz! And all you readers as well!

: But what about you, Kotoha? Aren't you going to dress up?

: I have plans for myself, but they will have to wait until next week.

: Fair point. We don't want to overshadow Mirai's blog. Since we're almost done, how about you continue?

Huh? What's that?

*Topaz is still staring at the girls' asses.*

: Seems he's a little to distracted to continue on. Can you help me with this, Kotoha?

: Sure thing; Cureup Rapapa!

*The two girls return to their normal outfits.*

: Phew, I was worried that my butt was going to get sunburnt.

Luckily it's not summer and we're indoors. Also you can call it an "ass", like Kotoha.

: Ass ass ass!

: Topaz, don't teach Kotoha such vulgar words!

: Asses aren't vulgar! Unless you're talking manass, but that should be kept out of sight on principal anyway.

Exactly. But luckily we're not talking about manass. Instead let's continue about a subject that is infinitely superior with Mirai.

: So does that mean we're going to finish up the blog?

Right again!

Personality: Mirai is a great girl, being very cheerful and energetic but in a good, positive way. She keeps a positive view and pushes forward, no matter the task. This means that her determination is quite high, and some moments she can be quite GAR as well (like Cures should be). She is also the keeper of Mofurun, the teddy bear/resident mascot of the series (you can see her in the image I used for Mirai too) and takes great tender care of her. Mirai was very excited to learn about magic and start learning how to use it, and she surpasses Riko as Mirai is good at practical things. Back in the non-magical world Mirai does alright as far as grades go, surprising as she's a pink cure, but she is still bad at math as it doesn't excite her like the other subjects. She's also a great girl that tries not to hog the spotlight, and is easily better than some silly cake girls. Mirai also has two catchphrases; "This is so exciting!" and "Did you just say ~?!". Speaking of Mirai's voice, she's voiced by Rie Takahashi who is a good VA. When the series was first beginning there were a lot of jokes comparing her to Megumin, who also premiered at the same time or so (and was also voiced by Rie Takahashi). She does a great job with Mirai as well, giving her a light and cheery voice while having proper moments of sadness and other emotions. Overall, while I prefer Riko I do like Mirai and she's definitely one of the best Pink Cures. Her excitement and love of life balances out the somewhat-gloomy Riko, and they make a great pair.
Grade: A-

Libido: It takes two to tango, which means that both parties are responsible in this situation. What I mean is that Mirai is extremely close to Riko, as mentioned in the former's blog. They're almost like a married couple (though not as married couple in a bad way like the Suite girls), and they have Kotoha as a "child" in a way. And of course we can't forget about the kiss, which had Mirai in the lead position I think. Overall she does pretty well here, making a good partner with Riko in both PreCure and yuri ways.
Grade: B-

Age: Mirai is the same age as Riko, both being thirteen for the majority of the series. As said in Riko's blog there was also a late flash forward of sorts at the end of the series, and from production notes on the storyboards it's stated that her and Mirai are 19 for that scene (I can't be 100% sure though). Still, it's better to go off the main series rather than the terrible moment at the end. We can only hope that this isn't a sign of things to come, as GoPri also had a similar age-up at the end (though that one the girls split up as well). If curious Mirai's birthday is June 12th.
Grade: C

Total Grades: 66
Average score: 7.3
Final Grade: B-

And that is the blog for the week! What do you think, Mirai?

*Mirai and Riko have returned to their normal outfits but continue to wear their glasses. Riko even adjusts hers for further effect.*

: Not bad at all. Though I did get a higher score.

Well, you do look prettier. Mirai does have some great eyes though. I suppose that the main differences are just minor things.

: Don't worry, I understand that. Riko deserves her moments to shine just like I do!

: Mirai...

: Haaaa! This is no time to get mushy, you two! Now that Topaz is done with Mirai's blog he'll be able to do mine!

Exactly! Though it will take until next week still.

: I do not mind, though using magic I might take a short detour and "reward" Zettai some more.

: I'm certain that he would enjoy that.

: I think that Zettai is a bad influence!

: It's alright, as Zettai is a gentleman.

: Exactly! But that shall have to wait until next week...

Don't worry, I'm sure our readers are waiting patiently!
Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 30, 7:44 AM | 0 comments
November 23rd, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back, my adoring fans!

: You know that you don't actually have "adoring" fans. Just people who kinda deal with your blog.

Nonsense, I'm sure that many people enjoy my blog. I even got three different guest blogs last week!

: I know, I was there. Er, just don't go looking for them.

That's not a good sign. But getting back to the blog at hand, as you can see I've landed in the Touhou universe. While you might think that's because I'm dead, it's just because I had a near-death experience and went into shock.

: We're not completely sure how it worked either.

That said, using Magical Pretty Cure girls I was able to defeat a giant flaming elemental and protect those who were on my side. I'm just waiting here until I do my blog on the girl.

: Ah yes. When is she going to get here?

...I thought that you were going to get her.

: Wait, you don't know where she IS?

Ririchiyo usually takes care of these things! I'm as lost as you are.

: *Sigh* At least she should be around here. Somewhere, at least. So who were you going to talk about this week?

Nitori. I thought that the clues last time would be obvious.

: Ah yes. I do recall you saying something like that... Wait, isn't Nitori the one with Optical Camouflage?

Yes, I believe so.

: So we're looking for a girl that can turn invisible!

Exactly! Wait, hmmm...

: Go on. Think about it for a minute.

True that her invisibility would be a problem, but don't you have an ability that allows you to see hidden things?

: That only pertains to magical effects, at least as far as I know. Her item is more of a disguise check than outright invisibility.

Fair. Luckily I have another idea...

*Time passes and Topaz sets up a self-proclaimed ingenious trap. The two bloggers hide in nearby bushes beside a box with a wrench and cucumber under it.*

: You can't possibly think that this would work...

We have to at least try it.

*Eventually the box falls and traps something underneath it. The two Topazs go over to investigate.*

If that's me under there again I'm going to be very mad.

: I think we have caught Nitori this time!

*She pounds on the top of the box, making it shake.*

: Curse this simple prison! Let me out this instant you two ruffians!

We'll let you out shortly. We just want to make a deal with you.

: You may think that you have the upper hand, but wait until I get out of this box! And who uses a cardboard box anyway? It's not like I'm Kanako or someone!

Of course not. There's no way that her mature ass could fit in that box.

: Well, maybe. There just wouldn't be room for the rest of her.

: I'm not THAT short!

The idea is more that her ass is huge and mature. Anyway, the reason we had to capture you was because we had problems meeting you.

: You could have just asked!

: We were afraid you'd run away so we decided to trap you.

I wanted to make sure that you would allow me to do my blog on you.

: A blog eh? I've heard many other girls having one. Like Marisa or Patchouli in particular.

Exactly! So what do you think?

: I'm not quite sure... Maybe if you let me out I might be able to make a decision easier...

That sounds like a plan.

: EMPRY! Don't release her so easily. She's probably planning her escape as I'm talking as well!

But we can't exactly keep her inside this box. That wouldn't make for an interesting blog, and people would like to see what she actually looks like.

: Well, they can see my picture when I speak, but I understand what Topaz is saying. Let me out so that my fans can appreciate me!

: Fine, whatever.

*Topaz lifts the box slightly only to have it fly off far away. Nitori on the other hand seems to be blasting upward on a water-filled jetpack.*

: Mwah ha ha! You should have listened to Kimiko!

: Even here people call me "Kimiko"...

No time to wallow in self-pity. We have a job to take care of as Nitori seems to want a battle!

: But you just did that last week!

It's alright. I'm sure that this one won't last too long for some reason.

: That's right! I'm going to blast you straight away!

Wait! Can't we make some sort of deal?

: Well, I suppose that if you pay me enough I'll let you do my blog. I have a reputation to keep up, after all.

Not money! All I have in my pockets are lint, pocket change, and my hands!

: The latter is just because he's feeling around, not for any dirty reasons. That said, how are we going to deal with the girl with all the contraptions?

I'm not sure, but I'm certain the answer will just fall into our laps.

: Just because girls have a habit of appearing from nowhere doesn't mean that you should count on it! Besides, this is Gensokyo so the girls wouldn't necessarily be on your side.

: Enough delays, I can tell that you're not paying my high prices! Because of that, I'll punish you for trapping me in a box! Take this: Megawatt Linear Gun!

*Nitori pulls out a big laser gun from her backpack and aims it at Topaz. It charges power, with electricity flowing through it. However, her portable battery seems to run out and it goes offline immediately. Her water jets also fail, though they safely drop her to the ground as the nozzles sputter.*

: N-NO! Why did my inventions pick NOW to give up on me?

It's because you were watching us for so long with your camouflage up.

: Wait, you knew I was here the whole time? Why didn't you say anything?

: I imagine it's because he wanted to make it look like you had the upper hand.

Upper hand or not, I just want to talk about Nitori. Will that be alright?

: I guess I can allow it, but only because I have nothing to do while I replace my inventions' batteries.

Sounds good to me! And while she might not be paying too much attention I hope you readers do as...

Today's girl is:

Nitori Kawashiro
the Touhou series

Hair: While not some of the best hair in the Touhou series, Nitori's hair is certainly unique and impressive. And I don't mean that in a bad way either. I like the dark blue color and it fits with the rest of her design (though I suppose some of the dark shading is due to her hat's shadow). Her dual twintails, while the details depend on the artist, are quite cute as well. I like how they're possibly through the sides of her hat. Oh, and before I forget Nitori wears a green hat with a brim, and there is a white wisp-like design on the front as well. There is some allusion to her hat and the classic Kappa headwear of a saucer, but I don't think that Nitori has ever taken it off. Also there seems to have been a joke where she has a bald spot under her cap, which is based on kappas as well. Back to her twintails, Nitori keeps them held in by two red beaded holders. Her bangs and sides also depend on the game and artist as well. I like her current look as her sides go to her shoulders, framing her face well, and her bangs are kept in a somewhat straight cut (though there does seem to be a pretty big gap). Overall while I probably would have liked her hair to be longer, or at least down on occasion, Nitori still has a really cute hairstyle and hat.
Grade: B

Eyes: Nitori does alright here. As with most Touhou girls her eyes and face are pretty drab, but the fighting games and manga do help out by making her look more appealing. Sadly her eyes are a dark blue, which aren't bad but are a little overused sometimes (though at least in Nitori's case it fits both her color scheme and hair color). They do seem bright which is nice, and the gentle gradient does look really pretty too. As a minus she does have rounded curves and I prefer a tsurime to a tarame like her's. I'm not a fan of her Hopeless Masquerade eyelashes though, they seem really big (but it was just for that game). Still, her eyes are quite cute and the color, while a little overplayed, goes with Nitori's colors well.
Grade: B-

Face: Like in the prior area, Nitori isn't up to my criteria in the original game but the fighting game and manga certainly help her out. That said, either version does have my type of features. This includes a cute mouth and small dot nose. In one of the books (not the manga) she also has a cat smile though it's faint and hard to see. Her head is rounded, but I like the simplicity and her hair helps to frame her face really well. She does very well here.
Grade: A-

Build: Unfortunately Nitori's build isn't as great as her head seems to be. That's one unfortunate thing about the series, you don't get a good official look at her body. Nitori herself seems to be fairly average, if perhaps a little on the short side. It's hard to tell considering there's no official measurements. She does show some of her bare legs, but her bulky dress and backpack sadly cover her ass and she has tall boots as well. She also doesn't have a notable body part, like Letty and her fat hitbox or Yuyuko's namesake meaning her ass. As such this means that fanart is all over the place, both curvy and loli. I'd probably consider her to be more on the loli side of things, but that's just me. Also while it's rumored that kappa have the ability of tsuuhai, or that her arms are connected (so that extending one meant the other retracts) Nitori only has the ability to use mechanical arms to extend. Overall Nitori would be better with a more consistent body type, even if it's not one that appeals to me.
Grade: C

Chest: Nitori doesn't do too well here either. Not because she's flat, though I would say that she is and there's nothing wrong with that, but like before there's not a good fan art consensus on her chest size. People have pointed out that she's one of the few characters that has a tiny amount of chest, but that's due to her key and its straps pressing against her clothing. I wouldn't consider that to mean Nitori is slightly bustier than most of the cast, but it is kinda unfortunate as it attracts attention to her chest. Overall I'd say that Nitori is flat as that tends to be how the fighting and official works tend to make her.
Grade: C

Clothes: Nitori suffers from the same thing a lot of Touhou girls do; a lack of variety. Nitori's only outfit is a cute blue dress with many pockets and poofy shoulders. The shoulders also have pockets on them, and Nitori uses them to carry her various tools and other items. In her latest appearance she wears a blue shirt under the top layer as the top one is somewhat short (it shows her midriff slightly in another fighting game, though not her navel). As mentioned before this outfit does kinda hurt as it doesn't give a good view of her ass while her chest is somewhat emphasized by the key. The key is for her locked backpack which she carries with her. It's stuffed to the brim with her many inventions and weapons. It also symbolizes her kappa shell. Finally, she wears what appear to be blue rain boots, the color matching her outfit. Overall I do like the blue theme and the backpack is a cool character trait. I'd just wish that she would show off more. In an unofficial doujin (and probably a lot more) they did have Nitori wearing a school swimsuit which would really work well with her body shape, and it fits with her kappa/river theme.
Grade: C+

Personality: Nitori has a pretty interesting personality that's changed over time. In the beginning Nitori was a shy kappa who was interested in human products but was too shy to confront them (at least until the heroes came by). She also has powers over water even if they aren't as interesting as her SCIENCE abilities. You see, Nitori is one of the most technologically advanced characters in the franchise and many inventions are said to be by her. These include things like optical camouflage (as kappas are rumored to be able to be able to change color to suit their surroundings), extending arms (another kappa reference, as mentioned before), a kappa-based jetpack, and a mechanical Nessie. She even has Snake's Final Smash where she comes to the front of the screen and shoots I think grenades at her opponent! Like many kappa she also has a love of cucumbers. Surprisingly, as I did research on Nitori I found out that she has somewhat lost her shyness. Well, I suppose she's still somewhat quiet, but it's more because she's over confident and thinks that the others, in particular the humans, are beneath a mind like hers. There's also rumors that kappa can take out a human's intestines, which is unfortunate but luckily Nitori hasn't done anything like that. In Subterranean Animism she goads Marisa into fights with Yamame and others, though she's scared of Yuugi since the Oni are the original rulers of the mountain that she lives on and they would easily be able to take over. She's also got a good mind for business, with the expansion of her stall being what encouraged her to join the Hopeless Masquerade cast where instead of gathering faith she wants to gather money. At least that's what the translations say, but still. To be fair, Nitori wasn't too impressive and a little forgettable, but thanks to all of her appearances in the fighting games she's probably remained in the thoughts of her fans for quite some time. Going from a shy girl to a money-grubbing one is a downgrade, but it does add a little bit of character to her and makes Nitori seem more interesting. Doing my research has definitely lead me to like her more than I used to, though she still isn't one of my top Touhou girls. Still, Nitori is an interesting character in many ways.
Grade: A

Libido: Sadly Nitori doesn't do too well here. She doesn't show too much perversion. That said she does have one saving grace; she's among the many that are counted in Marisa's harem of girlfriends. This is because Nitori was one of her partners in Subterranean Animism. It's not too widely accepted, as both Patchouli and Alice have the magician thing in common while Reimu is a fellow protagonist. Nitori also, if rarely, gets paired with Hina due to the two being consecutive bosses in their original game. Other than that speculation and fan theories I can't be too sure.
Grade: C+

Age: There is no indication about Nitori's age that I could find. That said, she does look to be about the age of the protagonists (Marisa and Reimu) in looks. That doesn't mean much as Nitori is a Youkai (a kappa in particular) so there's no way to tell her actual age. Still, even with not knowing she couldn't be anything too outlandish and being a loli/teenhag would just make her better.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 66
Average score: 7.3
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the week. What do you think of it, Nitori?

: Well, I suppose that it isn't bad but I was expecting to get a higher score.

: Girls always think that.

It was your "body" area that did you in. You really should show more of your body.

: Or, ever better, say that instead of carrying inventions that backpack is just to carry your huge ass!

It's a little high up for that, but I like that idea. Nitori should show off her huge ass!

: Grrr, why would I want to show YOU two my huge ass?

I suppose that is more Zettai's area, but I like how you admit that you do have a huge ass. Sadly it won't help out your score but...

: Really now. So THIS won't help my score?

*Nitori tosses off her dress, revealing her sexy loli body in a sukumizu underneath. Her ass is quite large but not quite as big as say one of the more mature Touhou ladies would be.*

: Get a good look, Topaz! What do you think?

Hmmm, I agree that you look great but you need more official moments like this.

: Especially in that outfit!

: I knew that you'd enjoy it. But all things considered I should still punish you for not appreciating my body more!

: Oh believe me, I'd love to appreciate it a lot more.

Same here, but I really should be getting back.

: Getting back? You mean to your home dimension?

That's a good way of looking at it. I know that Riri and the others are waiting for me, so I'll be going soon.

: I suppose that should be fine. You've already finished discussing me and admired my beautiful kappa body.

Exactly. And I'm sure that my readers appreciated me talking about you. But for now, I must be going.

: See you when you need me next, Topaz!

: Thanks for talking about me. I'm sure to have obtained a lot of faith thanks to this blog!

Good to hear you have faith in the blog too!

: No, Empry. She said-

*Topaz leaves through a white hole in time and space.*

: Nevermind.

*Topaz eventually arrives where he stood to fend off Ragnaros. His arms and flesh is completely healed.*

Wow! Whoever did this did a really amazing job!

: Haaa! Thank you very much!

Wait, when did you get here?

: We called her here when we figured that our magic alone wouldn't be enough to save you.

: Not that we're weak, but we wanted to have some back up.

: You should have seen it. With a single wave of her wand Kotoha healed you instantly.

Thank you very much for that, all three of you. I couldn't have done this without you.

: W-well of course you couldn't! I'm just glad that you're back and fully healed, not that I had any worries to the opposite.

And in honor of feeling so good, I'll even do next week's blog on Mirai!

: M-ME? I know that I wanted one after Riko's blog but I wasn't expecting it to be so soon!

: *pouts* Uuuu, I wanted to be blogged by Topaz next! I was the one who rescued him!

: Now Kotoha, you have to remember to share. Mirai was promised first, so she gets the first blog.

: And you'll get yours later. Didn't that Zettai fellow already do one on you?

: Haaa, I still want to hear Topaz's thoughts about me!

: You'll have to wait until December. That means your blog will be in the same month as Christmas!

: I like Christmas! Hmmm, maybe I'll wait patiently until then now.

Sounds like I'll be doing Kotoha the week after next then! Be sure to join us then, but don't forget to check in with Mirai next week. See you all soon!
Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 23, 7:45 AM | 0 comments
November 16th, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We join the blog as the previous one ended, with Chinatsu and Madoka standing on stage.*

: T-Topaz is still backstage, right?

: I'm sure that he is. He's just making us wait for dramatic effect.

: I don't know. I think he might just be stalling for time, waiting for us to summarize what's been happening.

: I don't see why he expects us to do something like that. He's as lazy as he is hypocritical. But if that's what he wants I'll just do that. Welcome back folks. This is Topaz's blog yatta yatta. Last week he was brought to the stage for a few events. We managed to beat him once and he must have cheated at dancing somehow. Anyway, we're now holding a fashion show of sorts, to make sure that Topaz won't be able to progress.

: That's right. There's no way any girl he summons will have a dress as good as mine.

: Even if it does, it would mean that it wouldn't describe Topaz due to him being unfashionable. It's Win-Win for us and there's absolutely nothing Topaz can do!

*From backstage Topaz's voice is heard.*

Alright girls, I'm ready!

: Go right ahead and show your girl off.

As you wish. Lights! Camera! Action!

*With that a spotlight appears on the center of the stage. Madoka and Chinatsu move to the side, letting the girl emerge from behind the curtains behind them. She poses in an epic fashion.*

: W-wait, this is a magical girl! What are you up to, Topaz? We said that there's no need for fighting!

: I'm not here for fighting, I was brought here for my outfit.

That's right! And since I was able to ask her if she wanted a blog backstage I'm proud to say that...

Today's girl is:

LikoRIKO Izayoi
Maho Girls Precure

*Madoka fumes and stomps onto the stage towards Riko. Chinatsu meanwhile steps back in shock.*

: N-no... This can't be. I can't be defeated like this!

*Eventually Madoka gets onto the stage beside Riko. Topaz and Riri look concerned and step towards her, with a new blonde girl following the two as well.*

: W-what's going on? I thought I was only brought here to perform.

: It's obvious that Topaz is planning on attacking us, and that's why he brought two girls!

: Nothing of the sort! It's just that he knows that we could not transform without the other one.

: Though I'm wondering how you managed without the bear.

That's not important right now. What is important is knowing what the audience thinks about Riko's outfit.

*He turns to the crowd and it cheers heavily, easily being louder that Madoka.*

: This isn't fair! You can't count that as you didn't make it!

The challenge wasn't to make a design, just showing off one that describes us well. Besides, didn't your Grandmother prepare yours beforehand as well?

: But how does pudding and donut hoops describe you? This is all one big mess!

True. If it truly wanted to describe me it would have glasses. But I'm guessing it liked my love of sweets and it shows in the outfit.

: And according to my calculations it seems that I have beaten you!

: Grrr, as much as I don't want to admit it it seems that I have lost. Do your worst, Topaz!

: Wait, does that mean that we can return to our normal selves?

Seems like it.

*Riko and Mirai un-transform.*

: Ahhh, it's nice to be in normal form. E-EH? I just now noticed how in front of people we are!

Don't worry. There might be a lot of faceless heads in the crowd but the more important viewers are the readers.

: Ah yes. You mentioned something about these "Blogs" of yours. I think that Ha-chan got something like that.

That's right.

: Though that was done by Zettai. You can tell because he appreciates pink hair and middle school girls.

Hey now. Just because I prefer other things doesn't mean I can't appreciate them.

: It sounds like fun! When will it begin?

I can start it at any time. In fact, it seems we may have been stalling for a while so let's get into it.

Hair: Riko has one of the best hair styles among the PreCure franchise. For one, the color is stellar with a dark purple color and in general I do enjoy purple hair as it looks really good. Riko also has a curved straight cut in front, sorta as there are some openings but they are small and I'd say that they are acceptable. I really like how the light makes her hair look so shiny as well. I will say that the sides don't cover her ears sadly, but she does have curves coming down to her cheeks. Riko also has strands from the back of her head brought forward and over her shoulders. Her hair is also fairly long, going past her chest in back and that's even including the fact that she keeps it up in a ponytail (with a cute pompom decoration on the top of her head to tie it). Occasionally she'll wear her witches hat, which is red and thus plays off her dark hair color well. Overall a really strong showing.
Cure Magical, Riko's transformed version, is pretty great even if it's not as impressive. Her hair is slightly lighter but still pretty good shade. I will mention that her hair changes depending on which form she's in (though it is always longer and has a witch hat accessory on the left side). In the main Diamond form Cure Magical has two large wings on top of her head made out of hair (not literally but I don't know how else to describe them, a big red bow, and her hair is kept free. As Ruby her hair looks shorter but that's because it's pulled into two rather large twintails that stick out from the upper sides of her head with red ribbons I think. Sapphire form has her hair up in a tall ponytail, making me think of tall beehives though with more free at the top. She also has a streak of light blue with star decorations and her bangs have a braid going across the upper part. As Topaz she gets a headband with a pudding on it (or was it a custard, I'm not sure) and while she still has free hair she has two donut-like braided hoops on the bottom of her head in the back. As Alexandrite Cure Magical gains a true hat rather than just a decoration, complete with rose and other decorations. Her hair also seems to become much longer as well. Overall Riko has incredible hair and all the variety among the Cure styles helps as well.
Grade: A

Eyes: To back up her strong hair Riko also has really strong eyes. Her eyes are big, fitting the series well and being generally very cute. They're also a red color, though a nice dark shade that matches with her hair color really well. In general Riko has extremely beautiful eyes. She also has strong corners and lines, which I really like. She does have quite a few eyelashes, but they aren't too problematic. She wears glasses in a quick moment while acting like a teacher, but sadly needed to wear them more as it would have helped her out. It doesn't help that they were small either, she needs ones with big thick frames! That said Riko's eyes look great so she still does well here.
Grade: B+

Face: Riko does well here as well. She has cute soft features, matching the tone and style of the show well. She has a nice rounded features that look nice and a lot of great and cute expressions. Her nose is fairly small, though it does seem to be a little bigger as Cure Magical. Then again she does look a little more mature in that form, though it might just be the different hair styles doing that to her. Oh and she has somewhat noticeable eyebrows as well, though they aren't extremely thick. Overall she's very beautiful and I love her face.
Grade: A

*Ririchiyo looks around during the lull in the conversation.*

: Hey, where did Madoka go? And for that matter where's Chinatsu. I haven't seen her since Riko was came out.

I'm sure that both of them are licking their wounds backstage. I did win easily, even though there was a cliffhanger.

: I want to imagine that they're doing good...

*Backstage with Madoka. She's sitting in a folding chair with her head in her hands, looking defeated. A familiar face comes up beside her and sits in the chair next to her.*

: So I heard about what happened.

: Oh Rin! I got power hungry and something came over me! I think that I went mad with power and I must have hurt you so much. I'm sorry, as you're my best friend and I shouldn't have said such cruel things.

: It's alright. I imagine that the heat of the moment got to you after my surprising failure. And honestly Topaz is a good guy. He can keep his blogs up as he's a surprisingly kind person.

: But he said all those bad things about me! And even worse ones about Chinatsu!

: Just because you two aren't his favorite characters is no reason to strike back at him. Everyone has their preferences and that means that you can't appeal to everyone. For now, just appeal to your fans, and support them with your whole heart.

: I suppose that is a good thing to do. But I still apologize.

*An invisible headband, only seen by the faint sparkles coming off it, falls off Madoka's head. It seems to be similar to the one Hibiki wore a while back, though the girls themselves don't realize it.*

: Hah hah, don't worry. I'm sure that after this argument we'll become even better friends.

: *Sniff* You're so cheesy, Rin.

: See? You're acting more like yourself already.

*Rin smiles and pats Madoka's back. We then return to Topaz just as he continues with the blog.*

Build: Sadly not everything is great about Riko. As this is a kids show, and Riko is a low teen, she doesn't have too much of a curve anywhere. She does have some really nice legs, with some softness to them, but it would have helped had she had a butt punch or something similar. After the time skip she does look shaplier, with a thin waist, but let's forget that happened as that would be for the best.
Grade: C

Chest: Like with Madoka there isn't really anything to say about Riko in this area. She's delightfully flat, and as a kids show it's not like she shows off too much either. Even during the beach episode, though at least they didn't cheap out with her series like they did with the current one.
Grade: C

Clothes: Riko does quite well here, having many varied outfits. She tends to have two common outfits (other than her PreCure outfits). While in the mundane world the school uniform consists of a yellow blazer over a white shirt, pink ribbon around the neck, and red pleated skirt. She also wears white socks but they aren't even knee-high. It's not too interesting, though I do like blazer uniforms and the ribbon makes me think of bow ties. While attending magical school the uniform includes a white shirt with puffy sleeves and frills at the wrist, what seems to be a cape over her shoulders with a red belt/overalls (I'm not sure what that article of clothing would be), a red plaid ribbon, her witch's hat I mentioned earlier, and black socks (though with the same problem). As you can imagine I'm not a fan of the item I can't identify, but I do like how it lets her have some variety and some uniqueness compared to other uniforms (I really like the hat xD).
Riko also has a lot of other outfits. In addition to the casual outfits, which are probably too numerous to name, she wears things including a Swan Lake outfit, a birthday cake had, a fairy godmother jester-like outfit, cute pajamas, and a one piece swimsuit with inner tube (though it would have been nicer if it showed off more of her body). If you include official images Riko also wears another one piece swimsuit (this one seeming tighter) as well as a couple of Santa outfits. Her PreCure outfits are also really good. Diamond tends to be fairly basic though I do like the purple color theme and detatched sleeves, Ruby reminds me of a flamenco or salsa dancer due to the intense combination of red and black (and garters too), the Arabian/dancer themed Sapphire looks pretty too as it shows off her navel well and the flowing shawl and shades of blue work well with it, and despite the custard theme Topaz also looks good even with the brown and yellow color combination and big fluffy dress. In general Riko does really amazing in any outfit, and while I could wish for more she does well here.
Grade: B

*Meanwhile, Chinatsu is further backstage in another area.*

: Grrr, after all this he still gets his anniversary blog. I should have stopped him when I had the chance, but now it's too... Wait, it's not too late!

*She pulls out a sack with many different gems in it.*

: Of course! The gems that Specs gave me! I can use them to create a monster and interrupt Topaz's blog! And then- then what...

*Chinatsu has a flashback of Topaz's apology from last week. She also sees moments of him laughing and being a kind person in general.*

: What am I doing? Topaz just wants to talk about girls, and that shouldn't be any of my concern. I shouldn't have any great plans for revenge, and I should just forget about his poor blog on me. He's even admitted that I'd do better these days.

*She takes a deep sigh.*

: Well, I don't think I'll be needing these. I'm going to be taking the high road and be a more honest and positive person, like Topaz.

*Chinatsu then lights a nearby match and sets the bag of gems on fire. She then walks away after throwing it in a garbage can (though one that does not catch fire, obviously). However, she doesn't notice the sparks of a powerful creature being created as she sets off to the stage to apologize to Topaz...*

Personality: Riko is easily one of my favorite Cure girls, and believe me there's a lot of stiff competition. Anyway, while balloons may call her "Liko" I'll continue to call her "Riko" as you can probably tell. Anyway she comes to the "mundane" world from her world, the "magical" one, in search of a certain Emerald. She then meets up with Mirai and the two bond through becoming Cures. After that they defeat powerful villains and raise a fairy baby/teenager together. It makes sense trust me, though I am pretty bad at plot synopsis.
Anyway Riko is a magician and, despite scoring well and having quite a bit of knowledge, is not a good one when the series begins. Mistakes happen a fair bit, though Riko says that it's all to her plans ("All according to my calculations" is one of her catchphrases; the other being "I didn't fall" when she has a reason she fell off the broom). However, this mix of book smarts and practical arts makes her very cute. I love how she'd pore over a book to research something, and she's good at most subjects in mundane school. She's somewhat strict but I think that's mainly as a guard against failure. Riko is also a little tsundere, especially around Mirai, but the two become really good friends. Riko is also perhaps the only Cure to point out the fact that the Pink Cure had bias, even if she didn't say it in exactly that way. Her goal is to become a magical teacher like her older sister, and judging by the slight timeskip she seems to be. She also has a problem with self-doubt, which may affect her magical ability at times. However, Riko is an extremely adorable and lovable girl, one that I really like and this probably doesn't do her justice. Another reason I like Riko so much is her VA, which is Yui Horie and one of my favorite VAs. She does an amazing, nearly perfect job bringing Riko to life and sounds amazing.
Grade: A

Libido: Riko has a surprising libido, at least among shows for girls. She's definitely yuri with Mirai, as paired PreCure usually are. The two even act like mothers when it comes to Ha-chan, and are incredibly sad when they can't always be with one another. They even live together in Mirai's house when they're in the mundane world, even sharing a room. OH AND THEY KISSED! That's right, in the manga Riko and Mirai actually share a passionate kiss while they think about their memories together. Okay, so there was a catch with an antidote and things, but STILL! Considering it's a kid's series that is a very considerable step and it helps Riko greatly.
Grade: B-

Age: Riko is 13, but that comes with some baggage attached. There are a few flashbacks, but that's normal and I wouldn't count those. No, the main problem is that there's a random time skip near the end of the series where the two girls age up to about college age and meet again. I can understand that it was the result of plot, but it just seemed excessive. Especially because shortly after that they return back to their 13 year old forms and in general it felt really useless. Otherwise Riko wouldn't have had much trouble, but that was still a dumb moment. According to Japanese wikipedia her birthday is November 12th, and she actually has a birthday episode (though she wasn't a big fan of her parent's party).
Grade: C

Total Grades: 72
Average score: 8
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week! What do you think, Riko?

: Seems pretty good, though it is embarrassing to be discussed in front of so many people.

: Don't worry. There's not actually many readers. Unless you count all the girls that read it behind the scenes, I suppose.

: Huh. I guess it's not just because I'm a middle school girl that I got a poor score.

Right. Just look at how well Riko did. It helps when I really like the girl.

: Like me for example. Well, I suppose that I didn't get as good as Riko but I did better than Madoka.

To be fair you'd probably score better these days. Though I'm surprised that you two seem to be friends again.

: I'm not sure what came over me. It's like an evil force was inside my head, pushing me to throw away my friendships in order to win.

: You shouldn't have to throw away friendships. They are what true winners believe in!

: Exactly. If only more people were friends like you and I.

Heh heh heh.

: Stop thinking of that kiss, Topaz.

Fine... And since it seems that we won the competitions we should get going.


*Chinatsu dramatically comes to the stage, confronting Topaz in the middle of it. She's quite angry, but her face slowly relaxes into a smile. It seems that an invisible headband also falls off her forehead.*

Wait for what?

: I want to give you what you deserve!

*Topaz flinches, but Chinatsu instead bows her head.*

: I'm sorry to put you through all this trouble. I know now that these days you'd blog me much fairer, and that I shouldn't be angry about it any more. It's in the past, and you're a different person compared to that idiot.

Thank you for apologizing, but I still regret scoring you so low. Cirno as well, and all the other girls who score poorly as a result of not appealing to my particular tastes.

: Everyone has their own tastes, I suppose.

: That's right. Hey, do you think that I could have one of those blog things?

I don't see why-

*Suddenly the fire alarm starts going off. Then an explosion happens behind the stage, which bursts into flames. Fortunately Topaz and the girls manage to leap off it just in time. The faceless audience manages to escape despite panicking. Soon the they are the only ones that are in the blazing inferno of a performance hall.*

What's going on?!

: I knew that we shouldn't trusted Chinatsu and Madoka. They had this trap set for when we have our guard down!

: It's not us! Honest!

: All I did was set the stones that Specs gave me on fire and threw them in the garbage!

The stones must have absorbed the force of the flames, and now the flames are growing stronger!

: I-I didn't mean for this to happen!

: Don't worry. We know that it was an accident. I'm just worried what sort of enemy is backstage now...

Probably something fire-elemental and from some sort of video game I've played from the past.

: Great, that only narrows it down to a TON OF THINGS! It could be a Carbon Dog, Ifrit, or that one Kirby Fire Lion. It could even be an anime fire user!

Hopefully it's not a certain flaming Cure villain, I'm not up on my Spanish at all.

: I hope you meant his element and not his choice in costume...

: It doesn't matter. Enemy, show yourself this instant!

*The flames burn even stronger, blowing the roof off the stage. The floor cracks and lava starts to bubble up from underground.*

: This looks like something I really shouldn't be involved with...

: Don't worry, I'll get you normal girls out of here. I'll start with you, Rin.

*Riri transforms into her demon form and places Rin on her back.*

: Don't worry, Chinatsu and Madoka, I'll be right back.

*She flaps off, carrying Rin with her.*

: Looks like we should prepare too.

: Good idea!

Nice Topaz form, you two!

: We figured that it would be fitting, considering we didn't show the transformation earlier.

: Now show yourself, evil entity!


*Finally the curtains burn away, showing the colossal fire elemental behind them. He's so big that even Ririchiyo and Rin, who are on a hill far away, see the being looming over the small-in-comparison building.*

: No... It can't be. Not now!

Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 16, 7:37 AM | 0 comments
*We join Kimiko and Rika who are sitting casually on the couch.*

: Welcome back everyone! I'm sure that you don't remember us.

: Of course they do. They just saw us last month!

: Er, I'm not talking about us as characters. I mean us as far as we're the ones that are introducing the guest blogs!

: Oh yeah. It's been so long that I've forgotten that's a job that we have to do. So who do we have this time?

: Like the good friend that he is Zettai wrote a blog for Empry!

: Ooh, ooh! Let me introduce Oniisama's blog girl!

: Go right ahead.

: Well, let's see here. Oh, this is certainly a surprise. Seems Oniisama is doing a girl named "Miyuki Takara".

: That lovely meganekko that's one of Empry and my favorites? Let's take a look right now!

*Rika pops in a tape that was in the envelope and the video plays.*

: Hmmm, not what I was expecting!

: That's no fair, I want three pies too!

: Didn't you get enough from Rider living up to her namesake?

: Er-t-that doesn't count. Now, who do we have next?

: Don't try to cover your perversion by quickly moving to the next area. My Oniisama deserves retribution!

: He did work hard doing that blog and the normal ones too. It was still greatly appreciated, so let's give him a little something.

==Meanwhile, in Spain==

Zettai: W-what are you two doing here?!

: We're always here, remember?

: Bakayarou.

Zettai: Not you two, I mean these two beautiful Gundam mothers!

*Zettai points to the two mothers with skintight pants that show off their mature asses plenty.*

: We were told to come here as thanks for giving Topaz service during the guest blog.

Zettai: Of course, Miyuki is his type of girl. Definitely more than mine.

: And as thanks for that we'll comfort you using our gigantic mature asses.

Zettai: Being selfless is amazing!

: Certainly. Now let's come into the Mobile Trace System. With both of us together.

: That way you'll become stuck between our massive smelly asses until we say otherwise.

Zettai: Sounds like heaven!

*Rain takes Zettai's hand and pulls him into the Mobile Trace System. Rinko and her then press him between their huge motherly asses and turn on the machine. As usual the tight bodysuit-maker binds the two asses together with Zettai between them, trapping him inside the assy heaven.*


: I'm so glad that you can join us then! AH! Your squirming inside our trace suits feels so good!

: Not to mention the tightness of the bodysuit against my stomach. AH! I can't endure much longer! I'm going to rip one!


*Both Rinko and Rain let out huge farts. Fortunately their odors are contained within their suits, forcing Zettai to sniff them all up. He wriggles and squirms more, bouncing their meaty mature asses.*

: AH! Your squirming is pleasing my ass so much, Zettai!

: That's right! We'll keep you inside all day and subject you to hours of gassy assy play!


*Zettai continues to squirm between the two asses for hours, as said. However, it's time to return back to the duo of hosts.*

: And that's our racing girl Ririchiyo making her way through the other blog!

: Wait, race girl? Since when was Riri running?

: Don't you know, Topaz? These variety shows always have a girl running through a race as it goes on.

: I do seem to recall Aikatsu and Idolmaster having that, so I have no reason to deny that. But anyway, how about we look at our next clip?

: I suppose that should be fine. Did Oniisama write another one?

: Actually this is from Spartan.

: WHAT? Wait, I don't understand. Topaz has OTHER FRIENDS?

: As odd as it seems, that he does. Anyway, let's look at what Spartan thinks of Kaga!

*Kimiko takes out Zettai's tape and puts in Spartan's.*

: Looks like he has a good idea of how to write blogs as well, even if he doesn't have any of his own.

: Yet, because Topaz is a bad influence to people.

: No I'm not!

: I don't mean you "Topaz", I mean the guy Topaz. Anyway, should we close it up for this year? I doubt that we have many more...

: Actually Spartan sent us another video as well.

*Topaz pulls another video tape out of the envelope.*

: Sounds like he's trying to show up Zettai. I wonder if Oniisama considers this a challenge.

: I sure hope not. Cute anime girls should be enjoyed freely, not subjected to being the basis of a competition.

: Isn't that exactly what giving girls points can be considered?

: That's different and opinion-based. Anyway, let's see who the last girl is-AH! Another of Empry's favorites in Yuki Nagato.

: Nagato? Like the boat?

: He specifically says that it's not the boat. Anyway, how about we put in his video this time?

: I'll do it.

*Rika takes the tape out and puts this one in. After a small amount of static and Rika smacking the television the video starts playing.*

*As the tape finishes Rika and Topaz are in awe. Topaz is bright red.*

: A-Ahem. Well, looks like he has his perverse side down.

: What's the matter, Kimiko? Are you embarrassed to see such a thing?

: Not at all!

: Your red face says otherwise. Man, you look like a tomato.

: I prefer a boiled octopus, but the idea is still the same. I'm jealous of how lucky the other bloggers are.

: We're still plenty lucky. Remember last year when we were petrified for most of the year? This year has been FAR better!

: Fair point, which is why there weren't fan blogs that year. And the year before was serious as well. Perhaps this blog is a lot more casual.

: We can only hope so. Now, we should probably get going so that the readers can concentrate on the blog.

: I don't know about you, but I'm going to be "concentrating" on the fanservice in those blogs...

: Hey, you shouldn't do such naughty things. Topaz's friends worked hard on them.

: Don't worry, so will I.

: Stop being so perverse!

*Rika and Topaz grab the video player and pull on it. For some reason all three tapes get spit out at once, covering the duo in cassette tape.*

: Look at what you did now!

: Hey, it's not my fault that they didn't upgrade to digital.

: This is so like us, you know. We're always destroying the guest blogs.

: It's alright. I hope that people don't mind this running joke. Even if the "running" is more like QWOP.

: I don't think that game is popular anymore. It's almost ten years old!

: Much like the blog! Plus if we couldn't reference old games half of Empry's jokes would have to be removed! Probably more than that, too.

: Good point. Anyway, it seems that we'll be cleaning this up. Be sure to check the other blog for main-series plot and things.

: See ya all later sometime!
Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 16, 7:33 AM | 0 comments
November 9th, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. If you haven't been paying attention, we're currently at the final boss for this year.

: Unless something major is going to pop out next week.

I hope not. Hey, Madoka, are you being possessed by an evil spirit bent on using my powers to create a body for yourself?

: What? NO! I thought Ranko was the Chuunibyou here.

: Do not worry, Topaz. We don't have any surprises for you. Well, other than the competitions.

Competitions? As in more than one?

: That's right. You'll have to beat us in two out of three competitions of our choosing.

: Isn't that sorta unbalanced if you get to choose the competitions?

Well, as long as they play fair I won't complain. And let me do my blog on Madoka too.

: I suppose that I can allow it. But I still do not see why I'd be considered the final boss. Other than being Chinatsu's right-hand woman, at least.

: Isn't it obvious? He's horribly biased against girls like us!

At least Madoka is better than certain characters on Stars.

: Why? What has happened?

: Besides Ako continuing to be trolled? I blame Aria the Finnish fairy for stealing her power-up and Mary-Sue-ing up the place.

Retrospectively Madoka doesn't look that bad and probably wouldn't normally be a villain, unlike that power-up thief.

: Wait, so you don't need me?

: He's just trying to trick you! If he really hated this Aria so much she'd be in your place!

I'm trying not to do girls from airing shows.

: Poor Koharu getting an early yearly meganekko blog before her performance.

To be fair I was afraid that she wasn't going to return.

: Then tell me why you did Sumire so early then?

*grumble grumble* She's just so wonderful and beautiful that I couldn't resist. She also has a great voice too...

: Enough about your former regrets, it's time to talk about me!

That's right, great job allowing it because....


Today's girl is:

Madoka Amahane

: Wait, why am I such a fool?

: I told you before that if you allow Topaz to begin his blog before our battles we'll become weaker in comparison.

: Do not worry, I have enough confidence in us that we'll easily be able to defeat him!

I mean, we could still have the battles between sections.

: I SUPPOSE that is what we'll have to do.

: Wait, you never explained what the tasks were!

: Too bad, let's listen to Topaz complain about Madoka!

It's possible that you'll be pleasantly surprised...

Hair: Madoka's hair is just both a curse and a blessing for my tastes. Anyone who knows me will take one look at her pink hair and twintails and say that I'd instantly dislike her hair. They aren't wrong, but there's more too it than just that. Madoka has very pink bubblegum-colored hair, and while I don't usually enjoy pink hair for some reason I don't mind her color that much. It mixes somewhat well with her eye color and works well. I'm not too big on the twintails either, but I will admit that they look very fluffy sort of like cotton candy. I don't like the fact that they come to a point though, for some reason it makes her hair look lumpier than I'd prefer. The twintails also have small wing holders which adds cuteness, though sometimes she has different things such as dangos for the New Year's official image. As far as the front goes, Madoka has a part over her left eye and smooth bangs that seem to be brushed to the right. She also has small wavy sides which aren't bad but I prefer fuller sides that would cover the ears. Overall, with the color and twintails I wouldn't be a big fan of Madoka. She just seems so... manufactured for cuteness.
Luckily that's not all Madoka has. You see, when her hair is down it IS really amazing. Like to the point where I really like her hair. When down it reaches her mid back and is extremely voluminous. It fills in what I was looking for as far as filling in the area behind her neck, and for whatever reason I really like it. She also occasionally wears a hairband with ribbon or other accessory like this. It's just a shame that it rarely happened, but I still appreciate those moments. Sure, she wouldn't beat someone like Sumire but considering she made me respect a pink haired girl, well that takes a great hair style. Oh, and there's a few variations I should mention too. In one episode we see a flashback and the younger Madoka has her hair up in buns though the bumpy sort that I'm not fond of and her bangs are curled. In another she's impersonating Kokone, another idol, and that meant that Madoka had her hair up in a ponytail which was pretty cute. Overall she does a lot better here than I expected.
Grade: B

Eyes: Madoka's eyes are fairly alright. She does have a tareme, but it fits with her personality and the dark upper line helps. The lower line ending shortly does make her eye-lines look unfinished though.She does have some eyelashes but they aren't too noticeable unless you're looking for them. Her eyes are also a bright blue, which normally wouldn't be too great but the somewhat-dark color plays off her light hair pretty well. On the other hand, Madoka does have a few pairs of sunglasses. One includes a frameless type with green lenses, while another is better with thick white frames. They're partially transparent, and in general the sunglasses are nothing too strong but not too bad either.
Grade: B-

Face: As she shares an artstyle Madoka's face is a similar to most of the other Aikatsu girls. Her face is pretty simple, though mostly in a good way. Her nose is small which I like too. Overall she's cute but not overly memorable (unlike say Rin or Yume with their bright red cute expressions).
Grade: B-

: What.

What do you mean by "What."?

: You know EXACTLY why I'm wondering what's happened!

: Maybe this isn't the person who did your blog way back then, Chinatsu. It's possible that we've made a mistake.

: NO! There's no way I wouldn't remember that stupid face! He may be several years older, but that's to be expected. He's definitely Emperortopaz!

That I am, but Madoka is also right. In a way, at least. I am not the person that I was back then. I've matured and become a more balanced person.

: Well, that's just HIS opinion at least.

: But how come Madoka scored MUCH better than I did? This blog is rigged, I tell you!

: Blame the Russians!

Nonsense. Between Madoka being rather cute with her hair down and, most importantly, not being a ping-pong ball-eating eldritch horror her hair is superior. Then again even now I'd probably score you a lot better.

: I suppose that you have improved if you've finally seen how great I am. Then again, you still haven't apologized properly!

I-is that one of the tasks?

: Perhaps it will be. Not that I expect you to be that skilled at-

*Before Chinatsu could finish that sentence Topaz leaps up high in the air. He then does a spin, landing on all fours with his hand leaning forward onto his hands.*


: Wow, that was an actually high jump. I haven't seen one like that since the second season of Horizon.

: Who cares about that horrible traitor of a show. As for you, Topaz.

*Chinatsu steps on the back of Topaz's head, grinding her heel against him. She has her hand up against her face and a devious look as well.*

: Did you really think that an apology like THAT would be enough to ease my pain? I mean I did get unfairly treated to the point with a SNAKE GIRL got better than me.

I apologize again! You don't deserve a score that low. If anything, if I would discuss you again you'd probably get like 14 or so points more, putting you in the same rank as most PreCure girls.

: So you'd say that no matter what I'm still a middle school girl and thereby you have unfair bias against me?

It's not that I have bias against you or your age group. It's more that I prefer shapelier older sisters and the like instead! And this blog is all about my choices and tastes too!

: Oh ho ho. Do not think that will make me feel mercy against you. I dub this apology a failure!

*Topaz's background shatters and he loses color.*

N-no, I did it with my whole heart! Please, forgive me or I'll never live with myself!

*Chinatsu takes her foot off Topaz's face, then reels back and kicks him in the face. Topaz takes 5 damage and falls onto his back. He holds his sore, red nose as he stands up. Inside Chinatsu's mind she takes a heavy breath, seriously affected by Topaz's apology. He seems to be breaking through the wrongly low-blogged girl, but she's too determined to give up now.*

: Topaz! Are you alright?

I should be fine.

: Good. Because we have to get the stage set for the next round, and you have to continue with the blog.

Do your worst to me, I accept any punishment!

: What? You're not going to be battling again. You just have to sit back and watch!

: Don't encourage him to be lazier. He needs more work.

: I mean that he lost, so he can't continue with any other events. Though you're still good to go.

: Wait, me?

: That's right, so you'd better prepare! You'll be participating in the next event!

Good luck with that, Riri. I'll be continuing my blog now!

Build: Sadly like a lot of girls from shows for girls Madoka really doesn't show off too much. She appears to be average height compared to the other girls, as we lack measurements. It is possible that she's shorter than Rin but not by much. As said she doesn't show off to much, not including her legs and while they look good they aren't that great. She is pretty slender, but that's all. She does show off her navel and waist in the beach episode though. Other than that she needs to burn her ass like Yurika or something similar. Oh, and Madoka's blood type is O. Overall she needs to show off some more as otherwise she comes off as a little meh.
Grade: C

Chest: Madoka is also fairly meh here as well. I'm pretty sure that she's flat, like most of the cast. However she does wear a somewhat chest-focused bikini at the beach. It's not like it shows anything, but it does bring attention to her chest and makes it look a little fluffier than it probably should.
Grade: C

Clothes: Like a lot of idols Madoka has a very good wardrobe. In most episodes she wears the Starlight Academy uniform which includes a blue blazer over a white shirt and white skirt. She also has somewhat-tall boots which aren't too great. Her brand is Angely Sugar, which is Ichigo's brand from the first generation, and it means she has a lot of sweet and angel-like Aikatsu outfits that she performs in. Her preferred set is the Angelic Alice outfit, which is a fluffy white dress with a lot of ribbons and cards. Besides her uniform and idol outfits she also wears a lot of other outfits. These include a white tracksuit with red pieces, a yellow kimono, frilly pajamas, a white dress with hat, a blue bikini with white chest and frills around the neckline, and probably many others that I've forgotten. Still, while she has a good amount of outfits it's a shame that most don't appeal to me (excluding wearing glasses in her disguises, as I've mentioned in "eyes" xD).
Grade: B

So let's check on how the girls are doing.

*Topaz turns around and the camera shows that two DDRNon-copyrighted dance machines are set up.*

Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you had to set something up.

: That's right! And we managed to set up the DDRNon-copyrighted dance machines while you were blabbering on.

: I'm surprised myself.

: Certainly. But don't forget that we have to bring up our champion to dance. And I'm to guess that you will choose Ririchiyo for your dancer.

: What? Don't I have a choice in this?

I don't think that anyone would want to see me dance, Ririchiyo.

: And no imitating Overman either with that one silly dance move!

Dawwww, that always works as a great finisher.

: Wait, so I'm getting forced to do this because Topaz lost?

: Well, I suppose that we can choose a different participant each time. You'll just have to bring someone for the last competition.

I can deal with that. Why don't you get into the DDRNon-copyrighted dance machine, Ririchiyo?

*She climbs into the side closest to Topaz.*

: This had better not break apart the second I try to use it.

: Do not worry. We made sure everything works properly.

: That just worries me more!

: No, if I'm going to defeat Topaz I wouldn't CHEAT when I'm this close. It's far more delicious to see him try hard and fail than just not be able to struggle.

Wait what?

: Anyway... I'm sure that you're wondering who we'll choose.

It's Madoka, isn't it?

: Close. In fact closer than you'd expect because....

*The spotlights go out into the audience, finding a familiar face.*

: W-wait, me?

: That's right! My best friend the Dancing Bolt!


: Who said that I'd help you defeat Topaz? He's my friend and I enjoyed talking with him in the blog.

: Consider it revenge for doing your and Sumire's blog before your season was over. Sure yours wasn't as crucial but he did poor Sumire without knowing about great moments like the Vampire episode and such!

Mmm, Sumire the vampire....

: Keep it together, Topaz!

: W-well, I mean I do enjoy dancing. Alright, since you're my friend I'll do it!

*Rin dashes up to the stage and climbs up on it. She then gets into the DDRNon-copyrighted dance machine opposite Ririchiyo.*

: Well, at least we know that Topaz won't be distracted for any idiotic reasons.

Hey! Leave Kaho out of this! And other girls too, it's just that Kaho is the most recent example that I can think of.

: Topaz, stop making mamocentric references!

You're right, Ririchiyo. I'll still get distracted by seeing your fat ass jiggle in those spats!

: That's not what I was talking about!

*Riri blushes and covers her ass.*

: Anyway, I'm sure you both know the basics of the DDRNon-copyrighted dance machine game. You move your feet to the movement and try to time your steps and arm motions to the beat exactly. You'll still score points if you come close, but perfect scores are worth more. The one with the highest points wins.

: I see then. I do hope that I'm able to do this.

I have hope in you Riri!

: Topaz...

Because then this blog will be sunk forever!

: TOPAZ! Don't push your failure all on me!

: Alright girls, get ready... GO!

*The machine starts playing music. Arrows start to appear in directions that match the pattern on the mat they're standing on. Ririchiyo and Rin begin dancing to the music. Rin is easily dominating, getting every score perfect while Riri is barely keeping up with the timing and only gets "Good" scores.*

: YEAH! That's the Rin I know! No one can keep you from dancing!

: That's right! Then Topaz will finish Madoka's blog and be done with it forever and ever!

Don't listen to them, Ririchiyo! You don't have to work hard, just have fun and try your hardest!

: That's easy for YOU to say, Topaz!

*Riri and Rin continue their dancing. However, Topaz seems a little distracted as a flying insect buzzes in front of him. He attempts to wave it away.*

C'mon. I don't need psychic shields so go away.

*The insect leaves Topaz alone but heads over to the dancers, seeming to aim directly for Ririchiyo.*

Riri! Look out, there's a bee! I think.

: A bee? ACK!

*The insect flies at Riri, spinning around her. She moves around to avoid it, but in a luck of fate she starts hitting the arrows perfectly. Not only that, but waving her arms around trying to shoo the insect away are matcing the movements perfectly as well. This continues for most of the song, which surprises Rin. She stops and watches Riri's miracle of dancing via insect.*

: RIN! What are you doing now? Get your head in the game!

: Wait-OH YEAH!

*Rin resumes using the DDRNon-copyrighted dance machine, but not moving for so long tanked her score to the point where no matter how good she did Ririchiyo would beat her. Even then she seems distracted, mainly getting "Goods" or worse while Riri continues her combo all the way to the end. The DDRNon-copyrighted dance machine's songs then end, leaving the two waiting as it calculates points. Finally, it considers Riri the winner.*

: I managed to do it!

And we didn't even need to do the Overman move either. Even though I was considering it.

: *Sigh* I guess that I need more Aikatsu to train my dance skills.

: You SURE DO!

: No, I don't think that it was the insect that sealed your fate. It was... SABATOGE!

: What do you mean?

: You felt sorry for Topaz and thus you betrayed your best friend!

: No! That's not what happened at all!

: Sure. That's why my friend who is an EXPERT AT DANCING lost to a NOVICE!

: Technically I've won performances in the past. Sure they were with Topaz's help, but still.

: I-I was just distracted, these things happen! Everyone has a bad day!

: *Sniffle sniffle* I see how it is. Rin dislikes me so much that she wants Topaz to continue saying horrible things about me...

: No, not at-

: And now you've made Madoka cry! I hope that you're happy, Rin!

: I didn't mean-

: LEAVE NOW, Rin. You're making Madoka sad!

*Rin, who realizes that she has nothing left to say, leaves the DDRNon-copyrighted dance machine. She also leaves the theater, her head held low due to her loss. Once the door closes to signal her leaving Madoka brings her head up, revealing a big grin.*

Wait a minute, you weren't crying at all!

: The weak have to be culled, Topaz. I don't tolerate mistakes, and Rin was but a tool that I thought would eliminate you for good. But because of that meddling insect we have to go to the tiebreaker. Where exactly is that thing.

*The four look around and eventually find it.*

Look! Ririchiyo's ass!

: Yeah yeah. It's big and sexy. You don't have to keep pointing it out.

No, I mean the insect is on your ass!

: What? Gross! Get it off! Get it off!

*The camera close ups on Ririchiyo's ass as she smacks it. Her sexy spats ass jiggles from each squishy impact. It continues doing so for a good amount of time.*

: Wait, it's really there right? I'm not just being used for sexual fanservice!

No, it's there. The sexy fanservice is just a side effect.

: As dumb as it sounds the bug is there. It's just that it's closer to your crack than the cheeks.

: How gross!

: Hey! I'm clean and not smelly! I'm not even sure why there's a bug so attracted to my ass!

I hope that Zettai didn't get into transformation problems again. He was already a snake a few weeks back. Oh, but I know how you can defeat the bug!

: It better not be-

Use the Minna method!

: I knew you'd suggest that. Well, I suppose that I have no other choice, as silly as it is. Here goes nothing!

*Ririchiyo pulls on her spats, giving herself a wedgie. This not only destroys the insect in the sexiest of ways, but her fat buttocks are completely exposed as well. She soon fixes it, but it looked extremely beautiful.*

: (No! I was going to consume the demonic energy in this girl and return to my perfect form. And I was so clooooossseee!)

Well, looks like the insect has been taken care of. One can only imagine what went through his mind when that happened. Probably only good things...

: Enough about talking about dancing and insects, Topaz. We have a blog to finish!

: That's right. Then I'll defeat you in the last competition and you'll have to stop blogs forever!

Personality: Madoka has a lot of issues that I disliked, though being fair as mentioned before she's still better than certain characters on the new show. Anyway, let's start at the beginning. Madoka gained an interest in becoming an idol due to her grandmother being the designer of the Angely Sugar brand. Madoka became an idol because she wanted to wear her grandmother's dresses, which is a fairly cute way of being inspired. And she does succeed in that goal, though in a way it's a little bittersweet since she sort of pushes Ichigo out of her brand to do it. I suppose that the first generation was out of the picture by the time Madoka came around, and we don't know what Ichigo (who was the former main) was up to at this time. In fairness Sumire did the same thing sorta, but she had a high amount of respect for the brand and even had a poster of Yurika showing how much she idolized her, giving her something to reach for. That's probably the main issue, as characters that steal upgrades are awful (though again, Stars does this far worst :/). It paints Madoka as a sort of Mary Sue, being basically grand-mothered into the brand on a silver platter while the other girls had to work hard to impress their designers. That's not to say that Madoka didn't work hard, but it bothered me overall at the time (I'm more over it now, both due to time and again due to the terrible problems with the Venus Arc girls). It didn't help that her grandmother only wanted her to ask directly, and while Madoka didn't take that easy path I dislike that she had such a straight path to success that the other girls didn't. I also remember when I saw the awards ceremony for Aikatsu and how Madoka swept not only her generation but the first one as well, arriving in first place out of every character in the series. That's the sort of thing that leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially as I didn't view her as anyone too interesting.
Personality-wise Madoka doesn't fit me too well. She's the type of girl that's very sweet, which fits with her appearance but she's too cutesy for my tastes. It didn't help her that I greatly preferred Rin, who was introduced together with her. She also enjoys teasing Rin, though that does help with make the dancer look cuter. It does help that Madoka is a little blunt, but the problem is that they usually follow up those comments with a line to emphasize how blunt she is. I suppose that this helped the translators word it better, and that the show is for young girls so that might help with intentions but it's almost as if they're trying to either explain the joke or put emphasis that this is a personality trait. It is said that she enjoys petting stuffed animals which is pretty cute. As for her voice, Madoka is voiced by Chihiro Kawakami who sadly doesn't have any other major roles that I know of. She does have a higher voice than I enjoy, but it's not too awful. I do prefer her singing voice, which is done by Kana (Hoshizaki, though her last name isn't given out officially). Overall what I'm saying is that Madoka is one of my least favorite girls from the original series, probably only beaten by Kokone who had her own worse issues (well, one main one in that she pushed Miyabi out of the brand that was more suited for her). The fact that Stars introduced worse characters helps her, but I still feel that she had a lot of pink bias and Mary Sue-ness.
Grade: C

Libido: Sadly Madoka doesn't show much interest in libido. Like a lot of Aikatsu girls, with some exceptions, she mostly has implied yuri. Considering that they enter at the same time, share a room, and often perform together the main girl I imagine gets paired with Madoka is Rin, who I've previously blogged on. For some other girls Sumire is chosen to be her mentor, though I'm not sure how much time the two spend together as we mainly see Rin and Akari I think. Speaking of Akari she creates a unit with Madoka, named SkipS, so she could possibly be another example.
Grade: C

Age: Madoka is between 13 and 14 years old, aging as the series went on. Her birthday seems to be February 14, and she is perhaps the youngest main star in the original series (though I haven't done enough research to back that up).
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 57
Average score: 6.3
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: Well, it's better than Chinatsu's but you still have awful bias against me!

: And I imagine that I'd do around the same score as well, if not worse!

Still, you'd be above the snake girl. And it's not like I can score every girl well. If I did there really wouldn't be a point to these things. They are to show characters that I like or have strong emotions towards.

: I can only imagine the trouble a certain Aria will cause once her show ends.

Maybe she'll go back to Finland after this arc, though for her sake I hope she doesn't end up Poochie. Either way, now that the blog is finished we can have our final battle!

: That's right, and it will be a design battle!

Oh no, I'm terrible at creating Animal Crossing patterns! And all the other process of making things, how am I going to pass this?

: I don't care, but go back stage as I show off the design that describes me well. I had my Grandma make this in particular!

Wait, we don't have to make them ourselves? That makes it a little better...

: Just go back there and think of ideas as I show off this design to the crowd. They shall decide on the winner with their applause.

: Ufufu, there's no way that Topaz will ever be able to pick out a good outfit. He'll lose and we'll be the ones to finally stop him from blogging. Serves him right. (Then again, he apologized... No, I have to be determined with this!)

*Topaz and Riri head backstage as Madoka shows off her outfit. Then again she also goes backstage to change, though in a different area. Madoka then comes out, wearing a great outfit. Sadly her conversational image is unable to change.*

*The crowd cheers for Madoka's outfit.*

: Thank you thank you, I love each and every one of you! Please, keep praising me louder and louder!

*The cheers become somewhat louder. Chinatsu then quiets them down with her hands.*

: What was that for?

: There's no reason to make them too loud. There's no way that Topaz could ever have a outfit that symbolizes him like the one your grandmother made for you.

: You're right! Topaz has no chance for victory!

*Meanwhile Topaz and Riri are brainstorming backstage.*

: Draw three cards then put two cards from your hand back on your library.

Not that kind of brainstorming, Riri. We need to think of someone I can call on that will have an outfit that symbolizes me.

: Why don't you just bring a girl with lots of glasses or something.

That's what they're expecting. But that did give me an excellent solution.

: Really? What's that then?


*Ririchiyo glares at Topaz.*

: Don't tell me you're going to choose that Sakura Trick meganekko or something.

Not at all. Let's just say that, according to my calculations, this Magical girl will be sure to bring us hope!

: Huh?

Let's just say I'm doing a girl that's been a long time coming. Well, not extremely long but at least since about the beginning of the year...
Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 9, 7:28 AM | 0 comments
November 2nd, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are riding with Ranko in a limo, sitting across from the chuunibyou idol.*

: Psst! Topaz! The blog's began!

Wait, already? We're still on our way to where Ranko's boss will meet us!

: You speak the truth, Emperor of Topaz. But do not think that your journey there shall be uneventful, as I shall plunge this blog into the darkest corners of hell!

: Hell? What are you talking about?

I think that she means that she wants to be talked about in the blog on the way. And judging by how plot works, we'll end near our destination.

: Nya ha ha, seems that thine knows thy destiny. Forsooth, make haste and drown in darkness by my side!

: I take that as a "yes". But knowing Topaz there will be another girl popping out of nowhere just to fill time.

I don't think that any other girls could fit in here.

: Um, I'm wondering why I had to come with.

*Rider, who had been offscreen all this time speaks up.*

: Do not think that our memory of you is forsaken, Perseus. I shall force you to apologize to the dark lord herself!

: I told everyone that I hate that name!

: Wait, why is that?

Perseus is the hero that defeated her. I do wonder why they used that name.

: Possibly because names like "Medusa" or "Gorgon" would have made it too easy.

: Do not give into temptations, Emperor of Topaz! Today is not the day of Perseus, and instead I implore you to invoke the chant of this fallen angel!

: I still have no idea what she's saying...

I think that Ranko is giving me permission to talk about her, even if she's being impatient. But since she allows it...

: I find it pretty amazing that you can understand what Ranko is saying.

: Hmmm? Are my words of power too burdensome for you?

I think it's because I've had experience with that sort of personality.

: Ah yes. I believe that in school you kept saying you were an alien and made up your own species.

: Nya ha ha? So it seems that I am not the only one who has drank ambrosia and seen the true path?

I don't know if "drinking ambrosia" is a good way to put it, but I did have my share of chuunibyou when I was younger. Now I just write stories about anime girls and stuff.

: Speaking of which...

I know, I know. Let's begin!

Hair: Ranko does have pretty good hair, but there are some problems. First I'll talk about the good things: One will first notice that she has a very fitting, unique hairstyle. She has twintails, with the bottoms being a little drill-like. I might have liked them more if they were entirely drill-like, but considering her hair when down is wavy I still find them nice. Her twintails also start around the upper-rear of her hair and reach about to her shoulders (if not a little bit past). I like her cute ribbons as well which are at the base of them. Ranko's face is nicely framed by her sides as well, which like her twintails reach about her shoulder. When her hair is down it looks like her hair reaches her mid-back which is a nice length (and as mentioned before it's wavy which is nice).
Ranko does have a few bad things that you could probably predict. I'm not the biggest person on twintails, but I will say that hers are fine how they are. Her bangs are a little generic, with a standard long middle bang as well as being parted over her left eye. And since you can imagine since I haven't mentioned it, I'm not a big fan of Ranko's gray hair. Now, I'm not against gray hair in general. I just mean that it doesn't seem to suit her well. It just looks a little bland considering the type of character Ranko is. Plus black hair would have been great with her red eyes. Overall I do like Ranko's hair, but she isn't as great as I can imagine her to be. Though at least it's better than Anastasia who has a similar hair color (Ranko's is darker) but without the unique style.
Grade: B

: How astonishing. I would have thought that you would approve my unholy locks.

I do, though I suppose that might have sounded a little meaner than I may have intended. I apologize for that.

: I'm sure that he would bow for an apology, but since we're inside a moving vehicle it may not be for the best.

Anyway, I do like your hair but it's the color that's a little plain. I do like how the light reflects off it at times and it's quite bouncy as well.

: Harumph, it would seem that you do not understand true culture when you see it! Not that you would know good hair, one who looks as if Samson lost his strength!

Ooo, nice burn! But enough talking about me, as it's your day. And with that let's continue!

Eyes: Ranko has some really incredible eyes, especially on certain cards. Her eyes are a beautiful red color and in many of them they're a dark red which is really pretty too. The gradient from black to red just looks so brilliant! Her eyes are also shaped well, with a tsurime and a strong inward slope which I enjoy as well. Her upper lid also frames her eye nicely, and I don't mind the eyelashes in the corner as they just accent it a way that makes her even more appealing. I also like how they're shiny-looking, which looks pretty as well. She also has noticeable eyebrows, but nowhere near the point where they'd be pointed out for jokes or something. Overall Ranko's eyes are extremely beautiful, and it's a shame that unlike Yurika she doesn't wear glasses (at least as far as I can remember).
Grade: B+

: Nya ha ha! Seems that my eyes have hypnotized you, forcing you to become my slave!

: Just because he likes them doesn't mean that he'll be your slave.

Right. Keep that for Zettai.

: Oh? Trying to use a decoy to distract my immortal eyes? Do not underestimate me! I shall make you quake in fear from the might of my third eye!

Now you should REALLY keep that for Zettai!

: Especially as we're currently trapped in a motor vehicle.

: Hmm? What's all this about third eyes? Do they have a power that matches my mythic eyes?

Well, third eyes DO have the ability to make a certain part of my body like stone... Especially yours, Rider.

: Thank... you?

: Topaz! This is no time to make jokes!

: Indeed, for the seventh planet from the sun is filling me with it's power! My third eye can barely contain it!

*Topaz giggles.*

Well, let's hope that you don't hit us with the might of Uranus then.

: Topaz! Stop being immature!

Fine then, I guess we'll get back to the blog.

Face: Ranko has a fairly standard face, especially for the franchise. This doesn't mean that it's bad though, as I appreciate the fact that she has a small nose and she looks pretty cute. Her face is also acorn-shaped and as mentioned before it fits well with her hair. And of course we can't forget all the cute expressions Ranko uses, such as the teary-eyed cute one that's on MAL at the moment (in her pictures).
Grade: B

: Nya ha ha. It seems as though you cannot truly perceive the beauty of my visage!

It's just that A-1 does have a derpy way of doing things, and the mini series while cute doesn't show off your face to its full extent.

: And like that's the only problem with the mini series...

That's true too. Boo picking the week AFTER I talk about Ranko to finally have her appear in this season! They should have just taken out the previous episode instead of forcing five weeks of Cute idols and making probably Passion only have three rather than the 4/4/4 that it should be.

: It would be quite fitting for one such as I to have an episode on All Hallows Eve as well.

Exactly! Now, what were we doing again...

: Don't be so lazy, Topaz!

If I was lazy would I be writing all these in-betweens?

: It is true that we are conversing quite a bit during this blog. Is this normal?

: A special child such as myself deserves a spectacular blog, one that shall be quite memorable!

: I just hope that by "memorable" you don't mean you'll cause lasting mental scars by releasing your "third eye".

*Ranko pouts.*

: Grrr, now that I have been informed by what that means it causes my heart to fill with the fury of a thousand suns! Stifle your mockery!

True, we shouldn't keep picking on Ranko like that. Besides, I have a blog to continue!

Build: Ranko is pretty good, but she does have a pretty big flaw. As far as measurements she is 156 cm and 41 kg, and her three sizes are 81/57/80 so her chest is slightly bigger than her ass. It's pretty insignificant, so that's not the flaw. The problem is that Ranko doesn't really show off too much. With such somewhat-bland measurements it's not like she gets a lot of fanservice, either in the cards or the anime. The most is that she has some nice navel shots on certain cards, but she really needs to show off further appeal. Like how Yurika showed off her ass. Sadly, even if Ranko's body is good and matches well with her age the problem is that she just doesn't show off enough.
Grade: B-

: Thou are just angered that I did not sting my bottom like that vampire. Perhaps if I showed off my posterior it would improve my ratings?

: It's alright. You can call it an "ass". In fact it's encouraged.

And as good as seeing your ass would be, it wouldn't improve or be counted in the blog. This only includes canon information and the like.

: So are you saying that such scenes would be superfluous?

They would still be interesting to see, I suppose.

: I approve of giving your readers something to enjoy, even if shall enjoy plummeting to the depths of Hades yourself!

What's that?

*In one swift motion Ranko lifts her skirt and shows off her sexy thong Chuunibyou ass. She then pulls her thong down and pulls Topaz's face againnst her now-bare ass. She pulls up the thong.*

Hey! W-what are you doing?

: Since you did not think that my a-ass was worth talking about I shall show you how glorious my gate of Babylon is!

: That name sends shivers down my spine, for some reason...

*Ranko then sits down, facesitting Topaz's trapped face. He wriggles himself out.*

: Hmm? Were my namesake rank aromas not up to your desires? Or should they have been more putrid?

: I think that your ass was smelly enough. Instead, you confused Topaz and Zettai again.

: Perhaps I was indeed mistaken.

Still felt great, though. You'll have to do that with Zettai when he does your blog. But that is for another day, for now let's continue onward.

Chest: That said, Ranko isn't exactly busty either. She's about average-sized and as a result doesn't have any horrible busty moments, at least in the anime. There's a few cards that show cleavage, but that's more due to the outfits she's wearing though they aren't exactly mamocentric either. Overall Ranko's biggest problem is that she doesn't have any memorable moments.
Grade: B-

Clothes: Helping out the past two areas Ranko does especially well here. She tends to wear a lot of frilly gothic lolita outfits which are quite great, and as an additional accessory she carries around an umbrella sometimes. Other outfits include all the idol outfits she wears, an angel costume as well as a devil costume (seems she took a visit to PriPara right there), a kimono, a race queen, and various fantasy crossover outfits such as from Granblue Fantasy. Overall I'm probably forgetting some but Ranko's outfits are one of her most charming points.
Grade: A-

: Hmmm? I think that we skipped a spot there.

I don't think that there was much to talk about there. But do know that Ranko's clothing is great!

: Most certainly. My garments are those that allow me a closer touch with my vampire body.

: I wonder why, between girls like Yurika and Ranko, why chuunibyou idols like goth lolita.

Probably because they're a gothic horror.

: That or they just like the looks.

: Perseus is correct, though do know that such apparel is just a disguise for my mortal being to observe without rousing suspicion.

Still, they all look so good! Speaking of looking good, let's continue with Ranko's blog!

Personality: Ranko is a very cute chuunibyou and one of the most famous examples. She uses phrases for common sayings and can be hard to understand by the characters on occasion (often a translator is necessary). She also says that she has magical powers, and she sketches her ideas in a sketchbook which also works as her diary. She's usually shown to be a skilled artist, though I imagine that varies depending on what story they need to use. However, like most chuuni this hides the fact that Ranko is a shy girl with low self-esteem. This gives her the appeal of a dual-persona type in a way, which is quite nice. She wants to get rid of this side of herself forever, but luckily the Producer wants to make sure she doesn't lose that side of herself. She does speak of corrupting angels and vampires, but don't confuse that with the fact that she enjoys the horror genre. She's even very scared of ghosts and would cower in the corner if forced to watch one! Ranko mainly enjoys the elegant feel and gothic look of vampires than the horror aspects. She also is a bit of a loner as Rosenburg Engel (her unit) is the only solo unit, though she does sometimes perform with Love Laika. She also breaks her character to give the other girls a pep talk, though she claims that's the spirit of an another angel speaking through her.
Ranko is voiced by none other than Maaya Uchida. Yes, this is the same Maaya who does Rikka's voice from Chuuni series, which makes it perfect for the chuunibyou Ranko. Her singing voice is quite great as well. I also like Ranko's cute "Nya ha ha" laugh, even if it doesn't seem to be popular online. Some other roles by Maaya include Koito from Phantom World for another KyoAni series and Sharo from GochiUsa. Overall Ranko is a really adorable girl and she deserves a lot of screentime, which is a shame as in the second season of the main series she gets pushed to the side.
Grade: A-

Libido: Sadly Ranko doesn't show too much libido in the anime. There's some slight bonding with Anastasia when she has to fill in for Minami, but other than that she seems to be a loner. There are other girls she talks with, especially the girls at her dorm like Syoko or Ko'ume (though Ranko is a little frightened of the latter's hobbies). Ranko may also have some interactions in the games that I don't know of, especially with the producer, but the only thing really big is that she doesn't let him read her sketchbook/diary when it comes to things about him.
Grade: C

Well, since we have her here why don't we talk a bit more with Ranko?

: Nya ha ha. What matter do you wish to augur with my powerful magics?

I want to know about your romantic feelings.

*Ranko becomes flustered.*

: R-romantic? An immortal like I does not have need of such frivolous pleasures of the flesh!

That doesn't mean that you can't have some feelings. You're not a robot!

: And being fair in anime that won't completely discount you either.

: I know not of which you speak! You must be speaking the tongue of the gods to perplex me as you are!

I just want to know your feelings. Especially about the Producer.

: W-what? S-stop! I don't w-want to talk about that!

*Ranko is red and her arms are flailing around.*

: I'm impressed that Topaz managed to get a straight answer out of her.

True. And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I can see now that I was stepping out of line.

*Ranko adopts her normal cool persona.*

: So this was just an ordeal? Seems that I passed with flying colors, not that I expected an immortal like myself to be flustered by such carnal d-desires.

Age: Ranko is only 14. It shouldn't surprise me as much as it did, considering that puts her in the chuunibyou range, but for whatever reason I thought she was older. Not by much, but I guess I was projecting Rikka's age (well, her being in high school at least) into Ranko. Her birthday is also April 8th.
Grade: B-

: Oh? Sounds like you underestimated the years my mortal vessel has been wandering the Earth. Perhaps you expect me to truly be thousands of years old, as was my former life?

Not quite. It's not like I was expecting you to be too much older. It's just surprising to know you're a year under Mio or Rin, and three under Uzuki. I was thinking that you were a high school girl, but I guess that's just Rikka. It doesn't help that you aren't too different from the average build of the Cinderella Girls idols either.

Total Grades: 71
Average score: 7.9
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: Seems underwhelming. I had expected a fellow chuuni to be able to appreciate me more!

: In all fairness you did beat Uzuki and Yukiho. Among others, but those are probably the two you'd know the best.

: Nya ha ha. Even though your ally may judge me better than you I shall accept your score.

: What good timing, we've arrived at our location!

: Wait, Rider was driving this whole time?

She does have a good Riding skill, so it's presumed that she can drive properly. Plus it keeps me from having to write more parts.

: Your laziness knows no bounds. But we have arrived at the gateway to your punishment. Follow me closely, and I include you as well Perseus.

: I told you I hate that name!

*Ranko leads the other three out of the limo. They seem to be at a big concert hall, though it doesn't say who is performing. Still, it's very lit up and looks very Vegas-like.*

Wow. So this is where we were going.

: Looks like they spared no expense to make sure that this month will be a showstopper.

I just hope that it's not the blog-stopper that they expect it to be-OOF!

*As Topaz is admiring the lights and bustle of the hall he walks into a familiar girl.*

Sorry about that-hey, aren't you...

: W-what? What are you doing here, Topaz?

I thought it was you, Rin. We haven't seen you in a while

: Not that we expect to see girls that often after blogs, but still. Anyway, what are you doing here?

: A friend of mine is performing. I came here to support her. What are you here for?

: We are here to visit JPEG and to force Topaz to battle in a contest for the rights for his blog.

Wait, you're not the one that's going to test me?

: Sadly no. I was only the chariot to transport you to this promised land. With this my assignment is over.

Well then, good luck with whatever you're doing and good bye.

: I should probably leave as well...

: No, JPEG mentioned that she required you to meet her as well, Perseus. Now, the three of you enter the forbidden area!

*Rider sighs as her, Topaz, and Ririchiyo enter a door.*

: Wait, isn't that the door to the stage?

*As the trio enters the stage lights come on. They seem to be on a stage in front of many people.*

What's all this now?

*Fog rolls in as if by a machine from the sides of the stage. A shadowy twintailed girl descends from the stage on a crescent moon prop, though her identity is silhouetted.*

: What's going on?

Either we have to fight an Earth Dragon or we knocked out the lead. I, Topaz, the world's premier blogger, will save Maria!

*The girl on the moon starts talking.*

???: Enough of your foolish talking, why does everything out of your mouth sound so stupid and awful?

: JPEG! So it is you who has planned this public humiliation!

Wait... Her voice sounds familiar...

JPEG: That's right, Perseus. I was the one who sent you to butter up Topaz! And now, I have no use for you!

*With that JPEG waves her wand, hitting Rider and causing her to disappear.*

Oh no! She disintegrated Rider!

: I'm more worried what would happen if she were to use that on us!

JPEG: Do not worry. If it had that kind of power you would not be standing there. This only dispels summons.

But I didn't summon Rider. She attacked Topaz in her sleep!

: That's accurate but easily confused...

JPEG: I never said that YOU summoned her. Specs has become even more powerful since your last meeting. Although Perseus was not agreeable at first, Right and Left Frames were able to... persuade her to our side.

What monsters! Torturing an innocent meganekko like that!

: Occasional meganekko, at least.

JPEG: It matters not. All of this, from Month-kun and Infamy to Cacophony and Liepard. All of them, my minions. Even though Specs is hiring your former adversaries she knew not to forget about me. I am the one that you have scorned the most!

Scorned? What do you mean?

JPEG: Do not make me repeat what that ABOMINATION of a blog you gave me was like! I even scored less than a SNAKE GIRL!

: Miia?

JPEG: NO! Well, yes but while still troubling I mean the more recent example!

W-wait. I doubt you're Cirno so there can only be one person that it could be...

JPEG: That's right, Topaz!

*JPEG jumps down and stands as Topaz says her name, revealing her identity.*

Chinatsu Yoshikawa!

: I'm surprised that you remember me after all these years. Now I can finally get my revenge, and I have a helper for just such a situation...

*Another twintailed teen emerges from backstage.*


: The goddess? I thought that she had an alright blog. Though I suppose that we should be watching for wild Homus.

Not that Madoka. Madoka Amahane!

: It is good to finally meet the one who not only wronged my master JPEG but also muscled his way into my close friend's dressing room for a blog.

*Rin, who was in the audience all this time, runs up to the stage.*

: N-no! I did the blog because I wanted to! Madoka, you don't have to defeat Topaz for my honor!

: Honor or not, Topaz needs to pay for what he has done.

: And you shall show Chinatsu just how much you have changed by scoring ME. Then we'll have a contest and you'll surely lose!

Sounds like next week will be the season finale, so be sure to watch as I talk about Madoka!

: Wait... It seems like we're off by a week. Hopefully there won't be a demon emerging from her like last week.

I'm not THAT predictable... am I?
Posted by emperortopaz | Nov 2, 7:56 AM | 0 comments
October 26th, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz looks out of breath, while Ririchiyo is only slightly so. They're standing outside his house.*

Pant pant... welcome... back...

: Catch your breath before you start the blog, Topaz. We've got all day.

*Topaz takes a few heavy breaths, calming down.*

Phew... It was tiring to get that much training in such a short period of time.

: I don't know. It felt like a week to me.

Time is funny, and I suppose that it's thanks to the Anywhere Door that we were able to get here so quickly after my training.

: Topaz, you're not an earless cat. You also shouldn't steal jokes from Zettai.

But he always comes up with good ones! I suppose that I could have said we used Muirasan, but that's boring.

: Quit trying to pin your excuses on contrived plot devices. And anyway I don't even understand why you wanted to train with Echidna in the first place.

Because she's a good teacher and there was going to be a powerful enemy at the end of the month.

: But all she did was ride you around. I mean I guess that's stamina training but-

There was also one other thing she did...

: What's that? And you'd better not say anything lewd!

I'm sure that you'll find out eventually...

: What does that mean? And stop being so ominous because-

*Riri's sentence is interrupted by a loud crash that comes from where Topaz's bedroom is.*

: Oh no!

I know! That better not be Kimiko sleeping in the bed again...

: I meant that we have an intruder. We'd better go save Rika and Kimiko!

I think that they can handle things, but good idea!

*Topaz and Ririchiyo run inside and head to the kitchen. They investigate the place a little before she realizes something.*

: Wait just a second... Why are we here?

Because the intruder may have gone on a pantry raid!

: I'm sure that-wait, did you just say a pantry raid?

Yeah. The thing that they do in movies all the time.

: I'm pretty sure that's not what they call it...

Well then, why ELSE would all the villains attack through the kitchen?

: This is no time for stupid jokes that only sorta make sense! The others might be in danger!

Well, I was just thinking that the intruder might have stopped here first. But you're right. Who knows what kind of trouble those two are having...

==Meanwhile, in Topaz's bedroom==

: Snore... Snore...

*Kimiko is sleeping peacefully in Topaz's big bed. However, the mysterious intruder breaks in. She then mounts Kimiko, who was laying on her back.*

: Who? Wha? Who's there?

???: I'm sure you know exactly who I am... TOPAZ!

: Well, the voice does sound a little familiar. That and I appreciate you calling me "Topaz" since more people call me by my other name.

???: Do you really not recognize me? Ah yes. It is dark in here. Let me get the lights as I say that...

*The lights turn on.*
Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 26, 7:34 AM | 0 comments
October 19th, 2017
This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-fourth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We join Topaz today with him being on all fours. A dark elf seems to be sitting on his back, which he enjoys quite a bit.*

Now, you're probably wondering how I got in this situation...

: Topaz! You don't need to have a flashback already. Just say that you ASKED to be sat on by Echidna.

But that's no fun...

: What are you talking about? It's still plenty of fun to tease you by sitting on your back. I bet that you LOVE this, don't you?

That I do! Your nearly bare brown ass feels great!

: My my, compliments will only get you so far.

: Topaz... Shouldn't you stop having your own personal fanservice fun and get going with the blog?

You stole putting Kuro in a naked apron from me last week, at least let me have this.

: Besides, didn't Topaz say that he'll be training? I'm sure that holding up my body is all that his weak male body can handle.

Ah! Keep insulting me, Echidna!

: Hmmm, sounds like you'd be a good masochist. Alright you disgusting pig, how about I tease you like THIS!

*Echidna starts bouncing her huge ass against his back, her brown cheeks jiggling against his back.*

Ah ah! This feels wonderful!

: This is just fanservice, Topaz. Not training!

Hey, aren't I staying upright?

: Zettai doesn't appreciate those jokes, Topaz.

I meant as far as holding her up.

: That you are! Such a good boy. As a result I'll reward you. Here, run me around the forest a few times.

With you on my back? There's no way I could do something like that!

: Oh? But I was going to give you such a good reward...

*She rubs her thighs around Topaz's neck. He takes off, if slowly due to his weak body. He makes it around a few trees before returning to where Ririchiyo is. There he falls to the ground, exhausted.*

: You call THAT a trip? You barely got anywhere!

: It's just that Topaz is too weak to support your fat ass! Which I'm really jealous of, but that's not the point!

: Well, since Topaz is so tired we can't do any more training. What should we do now?

Pant... The... pant... blog.

: Ah yes. The reason we came here and the readers put up with these shenanigans.

: I do recall you asking me for that before we met here. What is this "blog" thing?

: Topaz talks about you on the internet.

: The what net?

: ... Nevermind.

I just want to talk about you and show your appeal to the world! Or at least a couple of readers.

: Oh, that does sound fun! Can I keep sitting on your back through it?

I'd expect nothing less! Now, judging by the girl on my back you can guess that...

Today's girl is:

Queen's Blade

Hair: Echidna has pretty good hair. It's fairly long, though it is hard to tell due because she keeps it in a ponytail, which is often covered by her body. Still the ponytail is pretty voluminous and it reaches her waist, so if she had her hair down it might cover her ass. Maybe this is the one situation where it's better that she didn't loosen her ponytail, I suppose xD. Anyway, the messiness of her ponytail is pretty cute, with hairs sticking out all over. I'm not exactly big on her hair color; most of Echidna's hair is either green or grey (it kinda depends on the light, I think). It's not too great of a color as it's more of an olive color and doesn't go that great with her skin tone. It is interesting though that the front of her hair is almost white, giving a cool two-tone appeal. As for her bangs, they aren't bad with strong sides that go past her shoulders. She does have a big middle bang, but it's not too bad. In a few early images Echidna's hair does seem to be more yellow, though again that may just be the green looking like that. In the game books she seems to have dark blue/purple hair when she's player 2, which is odd considering her skin tone is also blue (though a lighter one). Finally, in the upcoming Unlimited world Echidna gets white hair though the style remains the same (excluding the multi-tone); I do like this better as it brings out her dark skin more. Oh, and speaking of her dark skin it's possible that Echidna is a dark elf, which I mention here as she definitely does have long pointy ears. They seem to be sensitive to far-away sounds too, so I hope no one whistles around her. But overall she does pretty well, even with some problems.
Grade: B+

Eyes: Echidna has a pair of very seductive red eyes. They're fairly narrow, which is something that I really enjoy (though they aren't constantly slit-like either. Considering how pretty the color is that's not a bad thing though). Even if her eyes are narrow she still has a slight if really beautiful tsurime, showing her dominant side. It's possible that the color is a darker shade of red, but that may just be the context as her white hair may make her eyes look darker. Echidna also has really nice dominant eyebrows too, and the upper corner of her eyes extends well which looks really good.
Grade: B+

Face: Echidna has a mature-looking face, but I don't mean that in a bad way. Unlike say Cattleya, her face is still feminine and looks beautiful. She's somewhat serious, which is nice as I do like stoic or aloof girls. The shape of her face is a little softer when it comes to the game books, which I'm surprisingly not a fan of. It may just be the art style or that her nose is too big and emphasized (her lips are also apparent). The nose and lips are a bit of a problem in the anime, but for whatever reason the straighter version with sharper features I seem to prefer. Maybe Echidna is too mature to look good in a softer style. But she still is fairly pretty.
Grade: B

: Hmmm, I'm not sure if those are good scores or not...

*She bounces against Topaz's back, her fat ass bouncing with each impact.*

They're good, they're good! But do keep doing that...

: It helps that Topaz has accepted his love of elves, including dark elves. Plus you did WAY better than that snake girl a couple weeks ago.

Being fair that was to be expected. Though you also did do mostly better than Cattleya, especially in the face area.

: And she has the advantage of black hair and glasses too!

: I suppose that is a little reassuring, but let's continue. Both with the blog and the back-sitting!

*She bounces against Topaz's back some more, her nearly bare ass rippling as a result.*

S-sounds like a great idea!

Build: Echidna has a very sexy build, at least if you ignore her measurements. Her height isn't too bad, being 162 cm which isn't too tall. Both Irma and Leina are taller than her, at 167 and 170 cm respectively, which is a shame as I like shorter love interests. That said, Unlimited both made Echidna taller (going to 168 cm) while Leina became shorter at 165 cm (Irma has not been previewed as being in the series yet). But that's not the main problem, as Echidna has pretty poor measurements with 94/63/86 (her waist goes to 60 cm in Unlimited). That's a fairly large difference between bust and hips, which is really unfortunate for her. That said, Queen's Blade still gives her a LOT of ass service. I'll get into her costume later, but do know that she's almost always showing off her ass. She also gets a lot of art of her ass, and it looks really big and sexy. Her thighs are nice, as is her navel though it looks like it might be slightly muscular (but at least she's always showing it). Stats aside Echidna does really well, and while penalized she does quite well thanks to all the ass appreciation she gets.
Grade: B+

Chest: That said, Echidna isn't without chest moments. She does have quite a large chest, and in fact other than the meganekkos and Werbellia she's the bustiest character in the series. She also gets quite a few chest moments, but luckily they're mostly forgettable compared to all the buttshots. Echidna, like most of the characters, also shows her nipples on occasion (though not often), and they aren't bad either. There is an image of her teasing her pet snake with her chest, but I'm sure he prefers her ass so I won't hold that against her. Overall not too great but considering some of the other girls she's not that bad.
Grade: C+

Clothes: Here we come to one of Echidna's most noteworthy features. Her usual outfit is a white vest with some decoration and red gems on the chest (said gems get removed in Unlimited), which also has sleeves but an open front. She also has large pauldrons that look like turtle shells, bindings around her wrists, a small buckler, a snake collar, and tall boots with scaly-looking socks. That said, the most notable thing about Echidna's outfit is of course Keltan. Keltan is a snake that she uses as underwear, and other than that she's completely bottomless. It's pretty outstanding how much ass her outfit shows off as a result, which is always a good thing and I'm sure that some readers feel jealous of the snake (sadly it's not known if Keltan is a male or not). She even uses Keltan in combat sometimes, leaving her vulnerable in... certain ways.
Anyway, Echidna also carries a S-shaped snake sword that can be used for easy parrying. In the school specials she wears a green sailor uniform with yellow bow, though her skirt is quite short and her midriff is showing. Other outfits include using snakes as a bikini, a yellow swimsuit and Santa outfit in official art, and both a wedding dress and fail naked apron in the mobile game. The amount of variety helps, though I wonder if there's more in the mobile game that I haven't seen yet. Then again even this much is good, but just having Keltan be a thing is really impressive.
Grade: B

: So the reason you like my outfit so much is due to Keltan?

Certainly, it's not every day that someone uses a live animal as underwear!

: And you're far better than the caveman enemy turned party member in Live A Live.

That much should be obvious.

: I don't understand what you two are saying, it's like a different language or something.

Don't concern yourself too much over it. Just know that you're quite a beauty and it helps that you show off your ass so much.

: Well, it's not that. It's just that this whole time I haven't been wearing Keltan.

Wait, you mean that your BARE ASS has been sitting on my back this whole blog? That's amazing! Though do show off your ass to the viewers.

: Oh no. I'm not bottomless-

: Good. We don't need any convenient censorship leaves crossing past your front.

: What I mean is that I found another serpent to use today.

Ah, I suppose that it's good to change out sometimes. What's this one's name?

: Ufufu, that's a story for another time...

-is. Anyway, back to the blog.

Personality: Echidna is a wild elf coming from a different tribe than the other elves, such as Nowa or Alleyne. She's even a dark elf, or at least has a dark complexion as mentioned before (she's officially a "wild elf" it seems), but it's possible that she's also the last of her kind (sadly the plot shows that the Swamp Witch destroys the elven lands between the original series and Rebellion). Echidna is a mercenary at this point, and uses the skills she picked up before the series began to be a sort of combat teacher for Leina. Well, either that or just toying with her. Her playful personality does have downsides though, many characters dislike Echidna because she's betrayed them in the past. This makes her seem like a villain, though it's more of an anti-hero than outright evil. One of the best examples of her doing the right thing is pulling out of Queen's Blade when the elves have her student Irma and would only release her without injury if Echidna would quit the tournament. As expected, they both dropped out to save Irma's life. This is somewhat fortunate as Echidna is likely one of the most skilled fighters in the series. She's very powerful, but she's also unambitious; power-wise she could easily beat Queen's Blade but she doesn't think that it'll be fun if she doesn't play around a little. Speaking of fighting, her specialty attack is called the Black Rose. It has nothing to do with .hack and instead it involves Echidna blocking a blow with her sword and attacking with her dagger.

: Zettai definitely prefers my "Brown Rose" attack though, ufufu...

I wouldn't disagree. Anyway, some of Echidna's likes include snakes and flirting (the latter with females mainly) and she dislikes sermons from for example Alleyne. Echidna is voiced by Yuki Kaida, who gives her a great mature and dominant voice, very befitting the character. She does a great job giving her a seductive and older sister-like voice, which is really beautiful.
Grade: B

Libido: Echidna's libido is very high, and even better she's an incredibly dominant girl as well. She's even sadistic, though it does follow into battle which isn't exactly my sort of thing (at least for this area). She is one of the most yuri characters in the series, which is quite the feat. This is because she loves teasing the other girls, especially Leina, through the series. Echidna even has Leina fight in an oil-wrestling battle, though due to a bite from her snake it's not as erotic as it could be. She does tease Rana at one point, so her bisexuality is questioned by fans. That said, I have heard that it's canon that she's slept with Irma, her student. Whether that means actual sleeping or something more is unknown, but knowing Echidna it's likely the latter. Echidna also has a lot of fun with Aldra in the Vanquished Queens specials, but I try not to remember those for the obvious reasons. But at least Echidna is dominant even in that series, which is good. Overall in general she's a very sexual individual and I like her for that.
Grade: A

Age: The girls of Queen's Blade don't actually have official ages. That said, Echidna says that she has over 500 years of combat experience, and considering she's an elf I can see that being true. Not only that, but she has a very mature demeanor. I would probably have given her a better score if she had an actual age, but sadly all we have is a vague idea.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 79
Average score: 8.8
Final Grade: B+

And that's the blog for the week. What do you think of it?

: Could be better, but now I'm bored!

*She sits especially hard, pressing her ass against Topaz's body.*

: Well, you could always torment Topaz some more. He certainly deserves it!

I'm sorry for everything that my past self has done.

: Past self? Like a past life?

: Not quite, but in a way. He was extremely mamocentric in the past, and I know that he has barely improved at all either.

I'm sorry for saying such dumb things, like not wanting to count Tsugumi's mamocentric moments!

: Right. You just did that to make her score look better. You stupid breast-for-brains!

My head isn't full of tumors! At least, I hope it isn't...

: I'm sure it's not, but before we get to work I have to take care of something...

*She gets off Topaz walks towards the forest before bending forward.*

: Whoa whoa. Don't tip like that, we don't want an of that in this blog.

: Blame the cameraman, I'm trying to show off my ass!

*The camera shifts over to Echidna's huge ass, which takes up most of the screen. It's easy to tell that this is still the Zettai-snake.*

: That's better! Though do watch out, I did eat a lot of gassy foods...


*Echidna then lets out a huge fart right in front of the camera. The Zettai-snake sniffs up the foul odors, though the plants behind the dark elf still seem to wilt from her gas.*

: Well now, since that's taken care of let's get to training.

I hope that's not the kind of training we'll have to do...

: No, that's special for Zettai. I have actual training that you'll have to do.

Actual hard work? NOOOO!

*Topaz screams to the heavens in a dramatic fashion.*

: You need to learn how to do work anyway, Topaz. Consider it your punishment.


: Don't worry. You'll be done by next week. If you work hard at least, heh heh heh...

Well, I at least hope I'll be back by next blog.

: Don't worry. Though I wonder who it could be.

Me too! I guess we'll both be surprised!

: Topaz! You have to at least preview her!

Eh, I'm sure that the villains have done enough of that. I can relax.

: If you think you'll be relaxing with me around, you're plainly mistaken! Now, carry me around!

*Echidna sits back on Topaz's back and he carries her around the forest, even if it takes a lot of effort for his weak body.*

Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 19, 7:23 AM | 0 comments
October 12th, 2017
Anime Relations: Isekai Shokudou
This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-third week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are standing beside a mysterious door with a cat sign on it.*

Welcome back everyone! This week we have a special treat, as we'll be going into a restaurant!

: W-wait, we're not starting there? Is this just a ploy to delay for time?

Of course not. Why would I have to do that anyway. Anyway, let's enter this mysterious door!

*Topaz opens it and both enter, ringing the bell as the emerge in a somewhat normal-looking restaurant. They're greeted by a lovely horned girl.*

: Welcome to Nekoya. Please, help yourself to a seat.

*The waitress welcomes them inside, and Topaz and Ririchiyo share a table.*

: This looks relatively normal, but is that the girl you're going to be talking about?

She is lovely, but I have another girl in mind.

: Really? Where is she?

: Right here.

*Rather than being heard the girl's voice echoes in Riri and Topaz's heads. Ririchiyo looks around but other than the one girl and the chef behind the counter.*

: Who said that? Is it that girl?

: That's just Kuro. I do agree that it's spine-tingling when she does that, but you'll get used to it.

Where is Kuro, by the way. I was told I'd be able to talk to her today.

: Do not worry, I shall keep that promise. She was just back here practicing cooking with me. Seems she's really interested in making her own curry for our meals, but it didn't turn out well...

: That is correct.

*Kuro finally emerges from the backroom, holding a plate. On the plate is what seems to be the charred remains of curry, though it seems stuck to the plate. It's so burnt that even the plate is pitch-black. She places it on the counter before coming closer to Topaz and the others.*

: Forgive my tardiness.

*She bows slightly.*

Don't mention it. It's not like we were waiting long. I didn't even order anything yet.

: I see. I would suggest a curry if you want my opinion.

Perhaps I should go for something sweet though...

: Topaz, we're here for the blog. And even if we were here for a meal I'm not letting you get by just on dessert!

That is true. As I mentioned before I would like t-

*Topaz is interrupted by more customers entering.*

: Two... Omurice... please.

: Two servings of fried food for me and my pal, and of course keep the beer flowing!

: GAO! Ignore these fools, for this Lion King demands his meal Katsudon! Immediately!

: I just want to get my pudding as usual.

I agree with the last one.

: Don't just agree with the elf girl! Even if she has a wonderful voice. You have a blog to do!

That's right. Kuro, would you like to here me talk about you?

: No.

*Topaz gets depressed.*

I know why too, I guess I deserve that. I'm sorry for being such a terrible load on society and liking terrible characters. I blame me not thinking with my head sometimes...

: It's alright, we understand that you have disgusting tastes some times. More of a problem is that you are just part of the big, mamocentric menace. A minor individual that doesn't do too much to push the horrible agenda forward, but you still affect those around you in various ways.

I know. And this is why I have to apologize to Kuro for the things that I said last week about a terrible dragon-goddess.

: Huh?

W-wait. This isn't about Lucoa?

: What's a Lucoa?

: You have no idea how blessed you are to not know about her...

She's basically many things my friend hates rolled up in a KyonyuuAni package. I mean, it probably wouldn't be AS bad if he got some sort of apology, but he's left in a desert with no water so to speak.

: Hmmm? Did someone mention dessert?

: As you can see it is not for this... "Lu-coa" that I am refusing to be blogged on. The restaurant is too busy for me to be goofing off.

*As if planned out Aletta trips in the background with impeccable timing, dropping the plate of glasses of water. Fortunately other than the floor getting wet nothing goes wrong as the glasses weren't made of glass.*

: Whooops! D-don't worry, Kuro. You can help Topaz out and I'll take over the floor!

: Sigh... If only there was someone who could waitress in Kuro's place. Then she'd be able to listen to the blog.

Yes, if only...

*Riri notices something odd about Topaz's voice. She turns and sees him resting his elbows on the table, his fingers locked and his mouth placed against them. He's looking directly at her.*

If only I had an assistant that could help out in Kuro's place. She might even have horns, matching Aletta...

: W-wait, are you talking about ME? I can't do something like that!

I'm sure you'll do great. You're a cute girl and I'd love to have you waiting on me!

: *Whispers* I already DO wait on you. When are you going to notice-

Excuse me?

: N-nothing! Just whispering to myself. Anyway, I don't even have a uniform, so I couldn't work even if I wanted to.

*Time passes, and Riri is in a lovely waitress outfit. Take our word for it, as she still has the same image.*

: I still can't believe that you were able to talk me into this. Just like I can't believe that you were carrying around a waitress outfit for me.

I can never be too sure what might happen. Besides, it'll be easy. At least you don't have to fake hard to be a sadist, since you're so good at it.

: This isn't Blend-S and I'm not Maika, no matter how close we look!

: I still thank you for doing my job so I am able to assist Topaz.

Indeed, all it took was me pointing out that the blog wouldn't be done unless you helped me out.

: Harumph! I-I just dressed this way because I wanted to. Not for you and your silly blog!

Wow, I wasn't under the impression that this was a tsundere cafe...

: Tu... Thunder? *tips head cutely*

No, it's something else instead. And I guess Riri is more of a Tsunshun anyway and-

: S-shut up! I'll go and help Aletta with the other customers. Make sure you do a good job, Topaz!

When haven't I?

: Do you want a list? I could name a dozen and they'd all be the most recent ones as well.


: I'm alright!

: Sigh... Try not to let him get too out of hand, Kuro.

*Riri glares at Topaz as she goes off to work. Kuro nods to Topaz.*

: Your human emotions are so confusing...

Don't worry, we're have a special relationship.

*Riri blushes from that, making her have to cover her red face. The beer she's pouring spills somewhat, as if she coughed.*

: I see then, so shall we begin?

Indeed, and now that I was able to find someone to cover her shift let's say that...

Today's girl is:

Isekai Shokudou

Hair: Kuro has really incredible hair, nearly my absolute favorite. It's black, which is definitely my favorite color and fits with her "true" form really well. She also has a hime cut, with mostly blunt bangs and the sides that reach her shoulders. I like how straight the cut is when the bangs meet the sides as well. The bangs aren't perfectly straight though, with many small parts and a pretty big one in the center. Her hair is also very long, reaching past her knees (which is kinda unfortunate as that does mean that it covers her ass). Speaking of covering though, she also has cover hair in her introduction as she appears naked. And of course I can't forget my recent love of elf ears, which work really well with Kuro's deep black hair. Overall she's nearly perfect, with only her bangs and covering hair causing minor problems. Still, she's simply incredible for my tastes and I really wish the little things were improved so that I could give her an even higher score. Simply amazing, in my eyes.
Grade: A

Eyes: Kuro's eyes are great as well. Her golden eyes fit her supernatural originals as well as her kuudere-ish personality, looking quite beautiful. There is a bit of brown at times, but I imagine that's just due to shading and such. More importantly is that she also has a tsurime, which likewise fits her well. Sure it's a rounded tsurime, but I still like having her eyes point downward in the center. Kuro does have a bit of an eyelash problem, with three on each eye, but overall it shouldn't be too noticeable (I only noticed during close-ups). I will mention that many elves in this series have this same style of eyes, which fits with her disguise. If only she would have worn glasses it would have been much better!
Grade: B

Face: Kuro has a pretty simple face, but not in any bad way. If anything I do enjoy simple faces, so I like her. Kuro has an acorn-shaped face, not too outlandish compared to most of the other characters in the series (especially the younger girls). She does have a big nose on occasion, but most of the time she only has a dot nose or her nostrils which isn't too bad. She also shows a bit of her lips (the bottom one in particular), though as this series is based around eating and close-ups I can understand that. Not something I like too much, but I do know why they did it and it doesn't detract from her face. Of course, we can't leave this area without mention a little bit about Kuro's personality. She's a strong kuudere so she has a very stoic face, barely moving with facial expressions most of the time. Since she speaks telepathically she does end up being a little monotone (in a good way) and her face doesn't move much. I do like that, and even then she gets a few great smiles at times which look really incredible. There's some problems, but nothing too major and I find the art-style to still be pleasing.
Grade: B

: Glass-es? Like the ones that we fill with water?

Nope, I mean more eyewear.

: I see, so I should wear them?

All women should, really. They all look great in glasses.

: Then let us see.

*Kuro uses her magic to conjure up a pair of golden glasses that match her eyes. They have thick frames and everything, and she even adjusts them cutely.*

: Is this the type of thing you're looking for?

*Topaz has to hold back a nosebleed, but with his other hand he gives a thumbs-up.*

Precisely! And you look wonderful in it as well!

*Kuro is happy to hear that, smiling cutely as Topaz continues his blog.*

Build: Not counting her dragon form (as cool as it is with the black scales, grey underareas, wings, and spiky head) Kuro does look pretty average. We do get a good look at her body during her first appearance, seeing her navel and waist. Sadly her ass is covered though, which is a rather large minus (though I am not sure if the manga shows it or not). Kuro is also not too tall, and has a pretty nice waist as well. I do wonder why she has a navel indent, but I imagine that may just be her putting it there for her human form (as I imagine she came from an egg). Still, she does quite well even if she's only really shown off in a single scene.
Grade: B-

Chest: Kuro does show off some of her chest during that scene, with her important bits covered up by hair. Other than that moment of being oblivious she doesn't get any chest scenes. Kuro is somewhat busty, but not outlandishly. She fits comfortably with most of the other female characters.
Grade: B

Clothes: On one hand Kuro's restaurant outfit is really cute. It looks like a black dress, with a bit of gothic lolita appearance if I'm being generous. She wears a ribbon around the collar (with said collar going up her neck a little) the shoulders are poofy, and she wears a black apron over it. The skirt of the apron is a lighter grey with frilly edges. Kuro also wears pantyhose, from the looks of it, which is a plus (the heels not so much). I do like how her outfit fits with her being a black dragon, but the biggest problem Kuro faces is the lack of variety. She has no casual clothes, no cosplay, nothing. Just one nice outfit. It would have been cool to see her use her powers for a clothing roulette, but alas I suppose that this isn't that sort of series.
Grade: C

: So this outfit is not to your liking?

Nothing of the sort. It's quite wonderful. It's just that I like a more varied wardrobe.

: You do know that I can change clothes easily, correct? If you wish for me to wear something else, I would not have any problem with changing it to your liking.

Sounds great, but how will you know what I want you to wear? If I say something you probably wouldn't know what I mean...

: I will be able to sense what your intentions are, do not worry.

In that case, let me think of something...

*Topaz thinks for a short time. Kuro then gets up and transforms her outfit. The first one is a ribbed sweater and jeans.*

: Hmmm, so this is your ideal casual wear? It does fit my form quite well...

*Kuro shakes her jeans sorta-namesake in the camera as it goes to focus on it.*

I concur, it looks wonderful... Now, how about THIS!

*Kuro transforms into a maid outfit next for added sexiness.*

That looks fantastic on you as well! The black of the maid outfit and your hair match so well!

: I am glad to hear that this suits me well. It does seem quite drafty though...

*As she says that the door opens as some customers leave. The wind from the outside blows up the maid's outfit, revealing her nopan ass. Her legs are close together so her front isn't seen, while she pulls down the front of her skirt to keep from exposing too much.*

Ah, I suppose that I should have thought about panties as well. Then again I don't mind you showing your bare ass. It should have appeared much sooner, like during that one scene.

: I see then. So men like asses. I shall keep this in mind. Any other costumes you'd like?

I do have some more in mind...

*Kuro transforms her outfit once more, appearing this time in a bunny suit. Again her rabbit ass is focused on, with her pantyhose meeting nicely at the top of her thigh. She even has bunny ears, which she plays with.*

: Hmmm. You humans have some odd tastes.

I suppose it might seem like that from an outsider. No matter, I have plenty of ideas left! Like naked-OW!

*Ririchiyo smacks the back of Topaz's neck.*

What was that for?

: Stop having Kuro play dress up and continue on with your blog! Especially with such a perverse distraction too. Then I won't have to work and we can go home!

Fine fine. Seems like Ririchiyo is getting impatient so let's finish it up.

: Affirmative. Now, how would you like to give me more points for clothing first?

Talking like this is non-canon and thus not counted.

*Kuro says nothing, but she uses her magic to return her to her normal outfit. She's still wearing the glasses.*

Is there some sort of problem?

: Do not worry. You may continue, if you must.

*Aletta puts a plate of chicken curry in front of Kuro to cheer her friend up. Kuro starts eating quickly as Topaz continues with the blog.*

Personality: Kuro is a fairly great girl for my tastes, and in general is a good reason I picked up this series (she's incredibly beautiful). It's a shame she didn't start appearing until about halfway in, though at least she becomes a regular as the novels don't have her becoming a waitress. Anyway, Kuro is one of the god-dragons that helped to create the world. Sadly she was a harbinger of death and with each flap of her wings would send down a deadly ash-like substance onto the growing civilization. This meant that she exiled herself to her new home, the moon. And there Kuro stayed, at least until she happened upon one of the many mysterious Nekoya doors. She enjoyed the food there that she decided to work there to be able to eat more. Fortunately her deadly powers don't affect the customers, and she's a fairly good worker. I will say that her telepathic voice does surprise a lot of people, both her fellow workers and customers, but it's a neat effect. It means that her face doesn't move, giving her a very monotone look (though I do like her smiling moments). She's a pretty strong kuudere, even if she mainly shows her "dere" side while eating (I say "kuudere" as it's not that Kuro lacks emotion, it seems more that she is just very reserved). I also can't forget that she eats a lot of curry (chicken curry in particular), going through plate after plate of the new food during her introduction. Big eaters are quite cute, and she doesn't even actually need to eat so she does it because she wants to eat a lot. Kuro is voiced by Saori Oonishi, who does a really wonderful job with her voice, making Kuro sound amazing. Saori did prove herself as a good kuudere voice with Ais from Danmachi, while she also does the cute sometimes-meganekko Eriri from Saekano. Overall Kuro is a really great girl, though I would have liked to have seen more of her (though I should be glad that she joined the main cast, compared to the web version).
Grade: B

Libido: This is sadly Kuro's worst area. She just doesn't show too much interest in romance, though I guess that's what happens when your ageless like she is. She is friends with the Red Dragon/Red Queen, a fellow dragon, but the two don't have any yuri moments or anything similar. She's also attached to the male chef of the restaurant, though I took it more as a role of coworker and Kuro being a guardian for the restaurant. I suppose I could mention Kuro's love of curry, with chicken curry in particular, but that's just a silly joke to put that here xD. That said, it's not like Kuro has a negative either. She had no problem with walking into the restaurant naked and it took the other characters being awkward and telling her to get dressed for her to do so. So there is an argument that you could call Kuro an innocent pervert, but there's no other evidence.
Grade: C

Age: It is really unknown how old Kuro is. She's apparently over 35,688 years old, making her one of the oldest girls I've done. That said she is a dragon, and she's also one of the dragons that created the world (at least if I remember the background correctly). This means that she's far past "Great Wyrm" status in Dungeons and Dragons, unless you include the Immortal's Handbook as-

: Topaz! Don't over complicate things!

Fine fine. That would probably confuse most readers anyway. Getting back to Kuro her body seems to be an elven one, with the equivalent age of high teen to young adult. It would be nice to have a more accurate range for her elf body, but she still does extremely well here.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 71
Average score: 7.8
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week. What do you think about that?

*Topaz turns to Kuro, who has several empty dirty plates stacked on the table.*

: Delicious, as always.

No, I mean about the blog.

: It was done quite well, I suppose. You spoke of my great appeal quite well.

Right, and maybe more people will visit this place too!

: Do know that you are always welcome here. As long as you have the money to pay, of course.

: Indeed. Though I do thank Ririchiyo for helping me out with my work today. I can't believe that it's time to close up already.

: Time files when you're working hard, I suppose. But I suppose that Topaz and I will be going now.

Thanks for having us and letting me do my blog on you.

: It was my pleasure.

*Kuro smiles cutely.*

: Alright then, employees. Let's go back for our meals now that the last customers are leaving.

: I await more curry...

: Oooh, that sounds good. Maybe I'll have some today too.

*The two waitresses talk among themselves as they go into the back room. Ririchiyo heads over to the door, so Topaz takes this chance. He takes the plate of burnt food from earlier, which oddly was still there, and shoves it into his inventory.*

: What are you doing over there, Topaz?

*Topaz jumps, thinking he got caught.*

: That's not the exit. It's over here.

Ah yes, I seem to have forgotten.

: I swear you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached. Then again considering some characters you like maybe your head isn't quite screwed in enough.

But I like you!

: F-flattery will get you nowhere!

*The two exit the door, and it disappears behind them. Meanwhile, on the other side the workers are enjoying their meal.*

: Mmmm, this Curry is delicious! I'm surprised that you made it so well.

: Surprised?

: Well, I just figured... with that charred burnt version.

: It is true. I am not completely sure what happened with that. It was as if something was guiding me, telling me to mess up on purpose.

: On purpose? I don't completely understand, but I do know that this is quite tasty!

: Indeed. But what happened to that plate?

: I believe that the Topaz fellow may have stolen it.

: S-stolen?! Should we ask for it back then?

: That is not necessary. We have plenty of dishes, and this saves me the trouble of having to wash it.

: Everything seems to have worked out...

*Meanwhile Riri and Topaz have made their way back home. However, a familiar face greets them.*


Wait, is Hanayo here?

: That's Topaz, Topaz.... wait, let me rephrase that.

I know, I was just making a joke. Anyway, what's the big news?

*Kimiko points to the note she was holding.*

: This came for you while you were gone. It says that there's going to be a powerful opponent which you can't resist coming up at the end of the month!

That sounds awfu-wait, what are you doing reading my mail?

: It was just marked with "Topaz" so I thought it might have been mine.

: Name jokes aside it sounds like the work of the villains!

Fair point. It sounds like we'll have to start training for this big battle! And I know just the girl to talk to as well!

: Don't leave us hanging, Topaz. Tell us and the readers!

Well, let's just say that this girl has a very charming crotch.

: Topaz! Don't say something disgusting like that!

It's not disgusting, it's just a joke about what sort of bottoms this Queen of all Monsters has...

: Wait-Oh, now I get it. Hopefully we won't be left hanging like her FFIII equivalent...

Posted by emperortopaz | Oct 12, 7:36 AM | 0 comments