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emperortopaz's Blog

September 20th, 2018
This is the Five-hundred-and-twelfth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Riri are standing at a street corner.*

: Don't phrase it like that, Topaz! You're going to make our readers question our intentions!

To be fair this wouldn't even count as a suggestive joke. Besides, they should know that I have to work sometimes.

: (You should work all the time-er, I-I mean...) True, that would explain why you're here. But why are we doing the blog now? I'd think that you'd have time to do it outside of this window.

That's certainly true. But this isn't due to a time thing. It's that the girl for the week wanted to meet us outside.

: Hmm, I suppose that's fair. So what, is it some type of druid girl? A plant girl?

Nope, it has nothing to do with the sun. And at least here in the blog it isn't raining either.

: Believe me, if it was pouring out I wouldn't join you. So where's the girl for the week? You did invite her, right?

That I did. Though I wonder where she could be.

: Knowing your writing style she'll be right behind you now.

Don't be ridiculous. I've already used that joke and even parodied it. Why would I use reuse jokes like that?

: A-HEM!

*Topaz jumps as a certain girl arrives behind him.*

: I did not mean to scare you, Topaz. It just felt like you were ignoring me.

It wasn't on purpose. You're strangely silent when you sneak up on people like that.

: It wasn't intentional. Believe me, if you wanted me to sneak up on you I'd come into your bed at night.

*Chouun caresses Topaz's cheek, flustering him. Riri interrupts.*

: Hey hey! None of that here!

: Looks like you've got a little guardian here, Topaz. Not that I mind.

*She rubs Riri's head cutely.*

: Now, why don't you let Topaz take care of you.

: I'm NOT that young!

Right, she's my assistant.

: Ah yes. I believe you mentioned her. But why does she need to be here?

: To make sure that you don't do perverse things!

: No, I mean otherwise. Do you help him protect the children?

: Not that type of assistant. I only assist him with his blog. And other home things.

You make good coffee!

: So more of a secretary.

That explains why your ass looks so nice.

: S-shut up... but thanks...

*Riri is flustered.*

: So whose ass looks better, Ririchiyo's or mine?

*Chouun shows off her ass by lifting her skirt and shaking her hips.*

: Y-you can't do that here! Think of the children!

But I don't WANT to think of children when looking at a sexy girl's ass! Besides, haven't parents groups proved that we coddle children too much?

: It's for their own protection!

: They pamper the children too much. Shows should be free to show what they want!

Exactly! Well, I suppose that some limits should be in place but people are overly sensitive these days!

: Right! Back in my day people didn't have time to worry about that type of things. The only thing that you needed to know was the best place to get bamboo shoots and how to wield a polearm superbly.

I think that was just you. But speaking about you, how about we start the blog?

: Sounds like a good plan. I've been waiting for you to talk about me ever since you did Kan'u and some of the other girls.

: It's good that you're looking at better series, or at least more reasonable fanservice ones.

Of course. Just because shows are somewhat older (though not much) doesn't mean that I should forget about them!

: A great plan. So how does this work...

What, the blog? I'll just talk about you for a while.

: I see I see. And when shall this conversation begin?

Whenever you want. Or more precisely, when I announce that...

Today's girl is:

Chouun Shiryuu
Koihime Musou

*Chouun whispers to Riri.*

: Does he always announce things like that?

: Somewhat. I think that he just likes trying out interesting things to introduce the girls. Not that he's very good at it.

Of course, as I'm terrible at writing! And at time management!

: Nothing wrong with that, as I'm sure the fans still understand!

Thanks for that. And with those words of encouragement let's begin the blog!

Ordinarily Chouun would do pretty poorly here. In particular it's due to her hair looking very short, but it's actually quite long. What seems to be a short bowl cut at first, with the sides being longer than the back, is supported by a rather long if thin ponytail. It is hard to see, but it is long enough to reach her ass or so. We don't see her with it out of the ponytail, at least as far as I remember, but that also means that it doesn't cover her ass either. Chouun also has dual intakes/bumps/Key horns of hair above her bangs which come down to provide a lot of framing to her face. Her sides even reach to her shoulders or so. Her bangs are slightly generic, with a long middle bang but the fullness and the intakes help make for a more unique experience. We also can't forget that Chouun has light blue hair which looks really nice, even if I like darker colors (it works well with her, even with that preference). Chouun also often wears a small white hat that probably has a more descriptive name, though it's not as cute as Shuri's beret. The ribbons are cute though, giving the appearance of longer hair by filling out some of the empty space. Overall while not the greatest Chouun still has a very lovely hairstyle that is unique and cool.
Grade: B

Chouun has really pretty eyes. Both the color and shape seem really good for my tastes. Granted I usually like red eyes when paired with black or at least dark hair, but her eye color somehow works really well. Maybe it's because her eyes seem to have a little purple coloration to it, but I'm terrible at judging color so who knows. Anyway Chouun's eye shape is very seductive. She has strong upper outer corners, which I really like, and has a very strong tsurime. Her eyes might seem a little gentler or softer in the anime, but that's mostly a difference between the art styles. Both look great though. And of course we can't forget one of Chouun's most memorable features: She occasionally goes out as “Butterfly Kamen”-er, I mean that Butterfly Kamen looks just like a certain beautiful warrior and isn't Chouun at all. But if she was Chouun it would be good as her butterfly-like mask looks really good. It looks similar to glasses, framing her eyes and drawing out their beauty with a nice yellow frame. It isn't glasses by any means, as it is in a butterfly shape (with the eyeholes in the wings and also likely doesn't have lenses) but it still helps a little bit. While Chouun doesn't reach the higher ranks, do know that her eyes are fantastic and her butterfly mask disguise is really great.
Grade: B+

There's not a lot to say about Chouun here. The art style is nice and soft like I like, and her face has a nice shape and structure. She does have a somewhat noticeable nose, moreso in the anime, but with it not being more than one or two lines it isn't usually too bad. Chouun also isn't afraid to show off her cute smile and emotions. In the anime she is also able to make a rather disturbing face, so terrible that it had to be censored out (she was intentionally trying to scare people with it). Still, like the other girls from the series she does quite well here (though not as great as Shuri due to her loli cuteness).
Grade: B+

: So this is what the blog is? Just talking about my appearance?

I'll talk about more metaphysical things later on, but for now that's most of the blog.

: You need to update your blogs to be more fair to people.

Hey, I like my original 3-article 3-section blog. It's nice and level.

: But it does lend itself to be manipulated in terrible ways.

True true, sometimes terrible girls go through the cracks by appealing in other, unusual ways. Like a traitor to asses having long dark hair.

: This sounds like a conversation that I've only heard portions of.

Don't worry too much. Just me talking about regrets in former blogs. These things happen and I am bothered by it sometimes.

: It's alright. All you have to do is score GOOD girls better!

Right! Like with Chouun!

: Ho ho, I approve of scoring me well. I'm also fascinated by this world you live in. So many conveniences!

I know! Even if I'm not sure where to get bamboo shoots here...

: Topaz doesn't bother with grocery shopping.

: Just the fact that you can get necessities so easy is an achievement in itself. Back where I come from such luxuries would be impossible! Though I suppose that it helps that information can spread so quickly, as do vehicles.

Agreed. The modern age is full of conveniences. But the older I get the less time I seem to get.

: That's just because summer is over and you have to get up every weekday now. Plus go in late and lose another hour after school.

That and the days are getting shorter. Curse you and I wish that it was summer again!

: If it was summer, sure you'd have more time but you'd also have almost no money.

True... Money is quite important.

: Money makes the world go around. Though perhaps we shall get to the next sections?

Certainly! Sorry for spacing out a little.

: You should see him looking up things while playing games.

True true... But now isn't the time for gameplay. Instead, let's continue with Chouun!

: Well, since I'm from a VN originally some things might involve “gameplay” but I understand!

Chouun has a really great body, even if she lacks measurements. The art style makes her very curvy but fair, even if she could show off her ass more. Luckily the official images and even the VN gives her nice assy pictures which helps her quite well. Her cheeks are nice and round, like the art style usually makes things. She even shows off her bare ass in official artwork, and that's not counting the nice shots in the VN due to having a few doggystyle moments. Sadly I don't know if any of them are anal or not. As for the rest of Chouun's body, she's got fairly nice legs and build (especially with how strong of a warrior she is). She does show her “front” in the VN, engaging in sexual actions but I'm not too big on that part. And I won't forget when she became gigantic in the second season's OVA for an Ultraman parody. Overall Chouun does really well here, though having anal would have helped her.
Grade: B+

Luckily Chouun isn't too bad here. She is fairly busty, but unlike Kouchuu or Kan'u it isn't forced most of the time. She does have rounded and perky breasts, though that's something with the art style of the franchise. She also has small nipples as well, at least in the anime. As you can tell Chouun also has a cleavage window, but it's not pointed out too much. There are some scenes in the VN that might be a little mamocentric, including getting paizuri, but overall she's a lot more fair than a lot of modern ecchi series. Plus I think that the said paizuri might just be on a fan-disc, so take that with a grain of salt. Overall pretty good here.
Grade: B

Chouun has quite a wardrobe, even if most of it is in official art and such. Most of the time she wears a white dress with a short skirt and the aforementioned cleavage window that extends to her sides. Her shoulders are covered with separate piece of clothing with big shoulder pads, and her sleeves are really long making it look somewhat like a kimono. With it she wears white thighhighs, and she has a purple obi that has a bow in back. Overall while slightly mamocentric it's a very unique and stylish outfit. She also occasionally wears a butterfly mask too. Other outfits include a school uniform with a yellow sweater and short skirt and red bow around her neck as well as a white bikini and Hawaiian-ish shirt in the second OVA. Official art adds a lot more, with a skimp Christmas bikini with Santa hat, a maid outfit, a thong bikini that shows off her ass well, a nice supportive purple bikini, a Chinese dress, and a blue bikini with thin straps. I've also noticed that Chouun has a pillow with her in a wedding dress, though in fairness the “in” and “dress” parts are probably being generous as she's showing a lot of skin (I'm also not sure if that's an official product or not). Still, Chouun has a variety of great and cool outfits, and possibly more that I've missed!
Grade: A-

Also, since we're talking about body I have to thank Zettai for his lovely birthday gift. I enjoyed Tearju's blog and fun thoroughly.

: That sounds kinda gross. I'm glad that I wasn't there to see it.

: Sounds like Topaz had a lot of fun.

I certainly did. And I hope you enjoyed your trip to Spain, Riri.

: It's not like I left his house or anything. All I did was spend time playing Switch with Katja and Chiaki.

That still sounds like fun!

: It was! I keep wondering why you still don't have one, but between you not having time or money to spend on games I can see why.

Exactly. Though there are a lot of fun games it looks like on it. Luckily I can play it at a friend's house, so I'm not missing out.

: That's always a good thing. Though I'm sure that I could show you a fun thing or two too, Topaz.

*Chouun starts to tease Topaz, flustering him.*


: Hey!

: Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want some attention too?

*Chouun starts to rub against Ririchiyo, her cheek against the lolis. Riri blushes cutely from this.*

: I-I wasn't asking to be a target too!

: Oh but both of you are so much fun to tease!

*Chouun does an ojou laugh.*

: Now, how about we finish up your blog about me?

Sounds like a good plan!

Chouun has a really cool personality. She seems like the calm and collected older sister type, and that tends to be how she acts most of the time. With those she's close to she tends to be a little bit playful. She'll manipulate people to play jokes on them and spread chaos, but it's also not in a malice way either. Chouun also has an alternate persona with a butterfly mask, though I'm not sure what the official name of it is. She also enjoys bamboo shoots and they seem to be her favorite snack, and gets very defensive about them. It's a cute trait, though I wonder if it means that she's a big eater or not. Chouun overall is a little random and likes making pervy jokes though that might be more the next area. Sadly Chouun does seem to leave and follows the group in secret at first before officially joining. She really needs more screentime as she's such a great and GAR character, probably the most GAR character in the series (though it's helped that she has a hero persona). She is also really interested in the player's former world when he is dropped into the series and he has to win his way out. Chouun is really good at making small talk and conversations, which I found really interesting and surprising but in a good way. Overall Chouun is a really great girl, curious about other worlds and being very free-spirited. I just wish that she had more screentime as she was really fun to watch. Oh, and Chouun is voiced by Emi Motoi who seems to mainly be an eroge VA. Considering the content in Koihime Musou (the game, not the anime) I'm not too surprised but I wouldn't mind seeing her VA in other series either (though she does have roles in the classic series Trigun and Cardcaptor Sakura which is cool).
Grade: A-

Chouun certainly has a high libido, as you probably can figure from the small sections I've already mentioned. In the anime, which lacks a male lead, she still does some things to tease the other girls. This includes teasing Kan'u for being a virgin, even if I'm not sure if Chouun is the same way in the anime or not. In the VN she tends to tease the male lead Kazuto, and is actually not only alright with him having a harem but even has threeway fun with him and Kan'u. As mentioned Koihime Musou comes from an eroge, so Chouun has a lot of sexual acts in it. This includes an under-table footjob, a lot of riding and doggystyle, and as mentioned before paizuri. I'm not sure which were officially made or which are from a fan disc, but it still leads to Chouun being a very perverse woman which works well for me. In fact, she's even the first one to get pregnant in one of the games, with a big belly as well.
Grade: A

I'm not sure how old Chouun actually is. Judging by the game she originates from being 18+ and yet still released in English it's probable that she's over 18 as well. Though that also means that the lolis are likewise over eighteen, so I don't know how accurate that scale would be. Thankfully Chouun isn't young-looking, likely being about the same age as Kan'u who I do like. It's possible that she's a little older, but overall it's hard to tell. I'd put Chouun in her twenties though I have no evidence to back that up.
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 82
Average score: 9.1
Final Grade: B+

And that's the blog for this week!

: Not too bad, but you have made the grave mistake of grading me lower than my allies! Truly I am the best character in the series!

: I blame Topaz's earlier grading scale being a little wonky.

There's that, but both girls also have long flowing hair which is great. But even then you should be proud of your score, Chouun! Plus I like you a lot, as do a lot of other people!

: I see, and it is true that I beat Shuri.

: Not by much, but still-wait, why do we call her “Shuri” but we didn't have to call you “Sei”?

: Huh, that is somewhat unusual.

That's just me being lazy because Shuri's first name is so long. And I apologize for not doing your banter as well as I wanted.

: Completely understandable. One has to be good at dialogue to be able to write good dialogue.

Or at least be able to bluff really well. Anyway, it seems that our time is up.

: The time for your guardianship or the time for the blog?

The latter. But it's been good seeing you, Chouun.

: I thank you for the opportunity. Now, if you excuse me I have a meeting with some bamboo shoots and alcohol.

: We wish you the best.

Good luck.

*Ririchiyo and Topaz start waving to Chouun, but soon a mysterious woman falls out of the sky.*

???: Finally... This time will be the day that you are finally defeated for good!

For good? Highly unlikely.

: *completely monotone* Oh no, a villain. How scary.

???: Oh? Well, I suppose that my identity is still hidden. Feast your eyes on true beauty!

*The mysterious girl throws off her cloak.*

: Ta~DAA! It's me again! Iria!

Oh no! This is a terrible thing!

: I know! I mean, not for your blog but because we have to go through a blonde idiot with fake breasts again!

She must be the reason that Ayame fought us and tried to ruin the idol show. At least this is the first we've seen of her, and I don't have to do another blog on her.

: The world is relieved.

: Mock me all you want! I-

Your chest is as disgusting as you are! No one likes fake breasts as they only make you more mamocentric, and your scenes only make people sick!

: Truly if you think that breasts are all that matter your brain has been replaced with silicone. Or at least whatever disgusting amoebas you use for those things.

: I didn't mean that seriously! I only wanted to taunt you! So QUIET!

Why? It's far more fun to mock your disgusting chest.

: Mock it while you can, as soon my plot will go into action!

: This sounds stupid.

: It's not stupid! I'm just using my partner to steal all the breasts in the world!

: I was right. But let's hear you out. How do you plan on using that to conquer the world?

: It won't, though my ally does get powered up with every chest she steals.

Oh cool. +1/+1 counters!

: Stop referencing Magic during plot moments!

: So that's where that reference comes from. But no matter! Soon I shall have the rule over all breasts in the world!

I fail to see how that's such a bad thing. It only means that one girl will be mamocentric.

: You might thank that, but you are mistaken! You see, I'll then flaunt my wealth by having girls pay me to be mamocentric. Then I'll flood the current season with cows and mamocentric service!

: W-wait, you mean that you'll ruin anime as we know it?

: That's right! Even flat girls will be mamocentric for the season that their anime airs. Eventually there will never be a flat girl again, and all fanservice will be mamocentric!

How disgusting! Truly that plot is Saten-ic!

: I see you've heard of at least one satisfied customer, oh ho ho!

We can only hope that the upcoming Index season isn't ruined by your horrible plot! And has more of the adorable namesake loli!

: It won't matter to YOU, as I'll destroy you right here!

: N-nonsense! You lack the power, being a former villain and all. What, are we at the point where former bosses are common enemies?

: Oh ho ho! I'll show you who the former boss is once I bring out my new ally!

*Suddenly the treeline parts as loud stomping noises are heard. A particularly busty girl then emerges.*

: That's right! Presenting Katamari!

Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 20, 7:38 AM | 0 comments
September 13th, 2018
This is the Five-hundred-and-eleventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are in front of a large school.*

Welcome back everyone. We're here at Neo-DEAVA because we need to find something out.

: That's right. We need to find out if Topaz is a horrible traitor or if it's a coincidence.

For those of you who didn't read last week's blog with Miyu, I'll explain what happened. She gave me a lesson on floating, and now I'm able to take a few steps in mid-air.

: The question is if he needs to think of horrible cows or not to activate that power.

I'm still thinking that I don't, that it was just a coincidence. As a result we've come here to talk to a certain lovely girl.

: Sounds like a plan. But how are we going to go about and find her?

Huh, that's a good point. Usually a girl interrupts when we're in a situation like this.

*Topaz starts climbing a nearby stone wall. He puts his hand over his eyes to look far away.*

Maybe I'll get a better view of the area up here.

: Topaz! Be careful!

*He looks over the edge of the wall, leaning dangerously. He seems very nonchalant.*

Don't worry. I have my ability to walk on air!

: But not reliably! You should still look out!

Don't worry. It's not like I have to use a fourth level spell or anything. Now where could she be-

*Topaz oversteps the wall and falls down.*


*He knocks his boys against the corner of the wall as well, taking 5 damage.*



*Riri tries to grab Topaz, but she's too late and he falls down the wall.*


*Luckily an awesome GAR girl is able to leap from the side and catch Topaz in mid-air. She lands with a screech, with Topaz cradled in her arms.*

Phew. Thank goodness you were there.

: Of course, as otherwise you would be splattered against the ground!

: You're saved!

*Riri walks down the path, taking stairs and eventually getting to the lower path where Topaz and the mysterious girl is. She gives him an affectionate hug.*

I suppose that it wasn't too long of a drop. Would have broken a leg, but I don't think that I would have died. I would have to fall much further for that to happen.

: Like when the thunder sisters dropped you earlier this year?

Exactly. Though then I could use my flying form.

: Er, I believe that I'm missing something.

: You're also still carrying Topaz, so you can probably let him down.

*The green-haired girl sets Topaz down.*

Now now, Riri. No need to be jealous. You can carry me, though I'd rather carry you around.

: (Topaz, carrying me like a princess...) *shakes head* What, do you want me to ride around while sitting on your back.

That wasn't what I intended, but now that I think about it...

*Topaz has a naughty grin, to which Riri shakes him by his shirt collar. The mysterious girl laughs at their antics.*

: Ahh, you two are so funny! And your names are Riri and Topaz? ...Where have I heard those names before...

: Are you a fan of his blog?

: Blog? Wait, I know that word! I had someone else do a blog on me too! That was ages ago!

That it was, and it was a great one like always. Though fortunately I'm not kidnapped by mecha girls.

: A shame, as it was so much fun toying with Zettai. So what are you doing here?

I'm here to do a blog on a very special girl!

*The girl raises her hand with enthusiasm.*

: OH OOH! Can you talk about me? I want to hear what your opinions are on me! Please!

Well, if you are asking so kindly who am I to refuse a lovely girl. With that let's state that...

Today's girl is:

Zessica Wong
Aquarion Evol

: Wait just a minute!

: Booo!

What's the matter, Riri? It's too late to do anyone else, as I've already written the introduction.

: And you tell me not to be meta... ANYway, we can't just start the blog! We have another reason to be here!

: Oh? What's that?

: You see, Topaz has been having a habit of floating off. We want to make sure that his power isn't based on perversion like with Amata.

: I understand! Don't worry, as I'll make sure he has his fill of perversion!

Thanks, but I really don't want to play with you. It would be unfair to Zettai who likes you far more.

: Thank you for explaining, as I thought that something was wrong with me. I never get the guys that I want, but hearing that Zettai still appreciates me and my fat brown ass is all the love that I need!

: I'm sure that he'll love even more of what you gave him in his blog.

: I-I don't have to do that for Topaz, right?

Of course not!

: Phew, as I've already used up all my gases today...

: Eh?

*Riri looks at her quizzically, flustering Zessica.*


But it sounded like you had an idea otherwise. What were you going to do?

: Ah, I meant THIS!

*With that Zessica starts to rub her sexy ass, barely contained in her tight shorts, against Topaz's crotch.*

AH AHH! This does feel incredible! But please! Stop! I don't want to betray my friend like this!

: Oh and preferring cows isn't betraying him? Stop being more of a hypocrite than a certain Ground-type with Sand Stream holding a Scope Lens after a Focus Energy!

Hey now! That is impossible as Hippowdon can't even learn Focus Energy!

: THAT is what you have an offense towards?

: I believe that I've missed something here... Or maybe you need to think of something else besides my ass to float off. No, my ass is quite excellent, so I'd be surprised if you WEREN'T getting excited.

Oh believe me, I'm getting excited.

: See? A hypocrite!

: You need to cool down. Maybe the reason that Topaz isn't floating off is that he doesn't like my ass, even though I take great pride in my brown size and softness. Maybe it's because a certain someone is watching...

: True. Zettai is reading so he'd probably get mad if this was what got you floating.

: I don't mean his readers...

: Hmm? Then who?

*Zessica looks at Riri with a cat-like smirk.*

: N-no, you can't mean me!

: Come on! It can't be too bad! JOIN THE UNION!

*Zessica pulls Riri towards Topaz, her spats ass joining Zessica's shorts ass against his crotch.*


: Hmmm? Is that a common expression?

: More likely that he's trying to do a dumb callback to Zettai's old blog.

: Speaking of blogs shouldn't you start it soon?

I-I really should, but your asses are so distracting!

: Then either float away now that you're being surrounded with asses. Harumph, or are you a traitor who will only get off with big useless fake breasts?

: Gross!

No! It's that my power isn't activated by that! Please! Have mercy!

: No no, we'll keep rubbing the whole time. Try to keep your concentration with this as you do the blog!

Sounds hard, but I know that I can do it!

Zessica does have some issues when it comes to her hair. Her hair is a dark green, though occasionally it looks slightly lighter. It's not a bad color but I'm not sure if it goes well with her darker skin color (maybe I'd just like it to be darker as I find dark hair colors sexier). Still, while her hair color is unusual that doesn't mean that it's bad. Another issue with Zessica's hair is that it's pretty short, not even reaching her neck in back. She does have some hair spikes in back which do look kinda cool. Her sidecurls frame her face really well which I do like, even if her bangs could be better. She has a long middle bang at an angle towards the left, but her bangs otherwise look nice with not a lot of part to them. While hard to notice Zessica seems to have a yellow ribbon in her hair, with long streams coming down her side or back. There was a time near the end of the series where Zessica's hair turns white due to being possessed by the terrible villain, though let's not mention too much either as it was really dumb. Still, even if Zessica's hair is light colored and she has short hair she's still a great look to her.
Grade: B-

Zessica has really pretty eyes. I really like purple eyes, to the point where they're likely my favorite eye color (at least at the moment), and Zessica's eyes are no different. It could be said that they're close to blue, but definitely more purple than anything else. She also has a nice shape to her eyes, with a fairly strong tsurime curve inward that looks really nice. To further emphasize her eyes she also has strong corners and even has a little bit of eyelid as well (though it is hard to notice in the show itself). The artstyle in Aquarion Evol also has the characters with fairly noticeable irises, meaning the dot in the middle of Zessica's eye. The pupils are also a little shiny, at least in the pictures I looked at. Finally, Zessica has a little eyelash that's hard to notice but looks good. It's a shame she's not the meganekko character but wanting her to wear glasses might be too wishful (though it might be for the best as she'd probably be punished by Mari Okada. Or punished further, as I'll talk about later). Still, Zessica's eyes are very pretty and cater well to my tastes.
Grade: B

*The two girls have gotten bored of rubbing their asses, so they leave Topaz alone.*

H-hey, what's up?

: Well, what good will it do to tease you further? It seems you've already proved that asses don't arouse you enough for you to float off.

I keep telling you that's not the secret to my talent!

: Then what is?

I'm not quite sure. But I do thank you for this lovely gift.

: Harumph, I-I only did it because Zessica looked like she needed the help. Don't get used to it.

On screen at least...

*Riri turns bright red and starts shaking Topaz by his collar again.*

: S-STOP SAYING WEIRD THINGS! People are going to get the wrong ideas!

: What, that you really like Topaz but can't show it due to your tsunshun ways?

: Of course not! And how do you know that term?

: Sazanka lent me a few of her, er, “safer” books, I suppose I can describe them as?

Sazanka being the brown not-Ranka yaoi fangirl.

: Thank you, Topaz. I'm sure that all our one fan that hasn't seen the show enjoyed that explanation.

Well, it's not like people know her by name. Besides, to change the subject, you mentioned that you didn't have gas left earlier. Why don't you explain that?

: Oh GOD, this sounds like a terrible fanservice section. Haven't we already had one of those?

Shhh. Remember, we can't make too meta of jokes Riri. Or else this whole illusion will be broken.

: I don't know about “illusions”, but what happened earlier went like this...

*Dream sequence flashback music.*

Zessica has a very lovely face, fitting the art style quite well. She does have the issue of a somewhat large nose, but fortunately there's not too much emphasis on it as it's only 2-3 lines at best. In better news Zessica has a lot of great emotions and isn't afraid to show them, including many cute reactions. Zessica also has a fang which fits her playful personality which is good. Fortunately for her that wouldn't be good a few years back but I've started to appreciate cute fangs these days. Overall Zessica is very cute and pretty, and even with her large-ish nose I find her face very attractive.
Grade: B

Zessica has a really good build. She's quite curvy, with a slender waist that emphasizes her curves well. It helps that she likes showing off as well, with her revealing outfits showing a lot of skin. And speaking of skin I can't forget to mention that Zessica has dark skin (though I think I've mentioned that before). As said her waist looks good as does her navel, and while her legs aren't anything special they're still pretty. Could use a little more meat on them, but still she looks nice. And of course we can't forget to mention Zessica's great ass! Her outfit, or at least the shorts version, even shows off her buttcrack a little. She also has a little butt wiggle action in the opening as well, and she shows off her nice bare ass in official art as well (even if the shot could be a little better). Zessica also shows her bare ass in the graveyard episode, but that wasn't too sexual so I wouldn't count it too much. She could show off her ass a lot more, but still she looks really sexy and toned in the best possible way. Oh and she's fairly shorter than the male lead but that leads to a cute hug moment that I saw when looking through images so that didn't hurt her too much.
Grade: A-

That said, Zessica has some issues here as well. She's not the bustiest girl in the series but she still gets a lot of scenes. She's also pretty busty still, and since her outfits tend to show off her chest it's quite the issue (specifically with the second outfit). Zessica is pretty bouncy, and occasionally presses her chest against the male lead trying to seduce him. Zessica seems to fluster him and send him floating off, but luckily he doesn't seem to take the bait (even if that would mean that Zessica would win over Mikono).
Grade: C+

: You're right! I don't need these dumb lumps of flab! They're useless and can't even seduce men right!

Men have many tastes. Like with Zettai and how he loves asses.

: True, as I remember Zettai. But even with him these things are useless. I wish that I didn't have them!

*Topaz looks grim and full of despair.*

: Uh, Zessica? I don't think that you're the right person to be saying things like that.

: What are you talking about? Of course I should say things like that! I really want to get rid of these terrible lumps that no one I know likes!

*Topaz enters a corner of despair, curling up with his knees against his chin.*

: ZESSICA! This isn't a good time to be saying things like that!

: What are you talking about? Why can't I say that breasts are disgusting and I would rather have the useless flab sent to my ass instead!

: L-listen...

*Riri whispers into Zessica's ear, making the green-haired girl realize what's going on.*

: O-Oh... I didn't realize.

*She comes over to Topaz and pats him on the back.*

: I didn't know that you still aren't over the whole Mixy thing. I won't talk like that again.

Y-you mean that?

: Of course. She'll stay having her “big bangs” that you love so much. I wouldn't want her to go through that again, and I wouldn't want what happened to her either. I'll find another way to reduce my breast size.

That's good to hear.

*Topaz gets up.*

: Wow, and here I thought it's been a long enough time that you've gotten over that.

O-of course I'm over this! What are you talking about? H-hey, who put these tears in my eyes...

*Topaz wipes his eyes with his sleeve, while Riri pats him on the back.*

: How about we just continue with Zessica's blog for now?

Good plan....

Zessica certainly has a lot of problems when it comes to this area. Fortunately her initial outfit is pretty good. It is a pair of white shorts with the sides open (but stitched closed) with a nice buttcrack opening, and the top is white and vest-like with an open front and a black X-shaped back. The collar is pretty high too with a fancy decoration near her collarbone, and she wears what seems to be cuffs despite not having sleeves. It's a great and revealing outfit, so it's a shame that she loses it about 2/3rds of the way through the series. As a replacement Zessica gets one of the worse costume “upgrades” that I have ever seen. She starts wearing a frilly dress, which is pretty bad considering how nice her tight shorts that showed off her nice ass a good amount were, but to make it EVEN WORSE the bottom half of her top seems to have been stolen. Her breasts are almost completely exposed, with only two black X's to support her bosom. It's disgusting not only on the mamocentric front, but it looks terrible as it makes her chest look like deli meat or ham or something. Really, she needs more support and covering, go back to the old outfit. I'm not sure she does either, as in the ending she wears a yellow jacket that hides her body (I can at least hope that she does). Er, I should mention that she wears thighhigh boots as well, which don't look good either. Anyway, terrible outfit aside Zessica has some other outfits. This includes a nice purple/black bodysuit to pilot in (well, more fuchsia or magenta than purple but still) though she can easily tear it off, and a black bikini with yellow trim. She also wears a white bikini in a calendar image and in the OVA she wears a white shirt with shorts. Really, if it wasn't for that HORRIBLE OUTFIT that looks so idiotic she'd probably do much better here (and probably better in the previous area, to be fair).
Grade: C+

Zessica is a female pilot from Neo-DEAVA being trained to fight the assault from Vega, who seems to be stealing women from their world. Zessica herself is a skilled pilot, and as a member of the school she has a special skill. Hers is the power of distortion, which makes her able warp the structure of objects and project bolts of kinetic energy. She can also use this to avoid attacks, and becomes harder to hit when she strips, which makes for good fanservice. As far as Zessica's personality goes, she's the rival love interest who is a little naughtier than the more innocent Mikono. She's friendly and energetic though in a good way, and also supportive of her friends. She acts really GAR, even if her luck is spotty quite a few times and it causes her to get depressed. She becomes especially depressed later on, especially once Mix is captured since she was trying to sacrifice herself and got someone else wrapped up instead. Still, Zessica is a great character that sadly gets hated by the plot (even Japan seems to consider her a “screwed by the plot” character). We don't even hear too much about her backstory other than the fact that she's possibly the reincarnation of someone from the original Aquarion but we learn nothing of her family before coming to Neo-DEAVA. Still, she's one of the best characters in the series and is an awesome pilot too. It helps that she has a great KanaHana voice as well, which is always a good thing. It's also funny when she swears back at Kagura near the end too. Overall Zessica isn't too impressive but that's more because we weren't able to find out a lot about her and she's constantly pushed down by the plot.
Grade: B+

*Riri starts picking up the manga.*

: And I suppose that we should mention that in the manga-

*Topaz violently knocks the book out of her hand.*

: HEY! That was rude!

It had to be done.

*Ririchiyo bends over and picks it up off the floor. She then starts standing up*

: Yeah. I was just going to say that-

*Topaz knocks the manga out of her hand once again.*

STOP! Don't mention what happens in the forbidden tomes!

: What's going on? Why are you acting so crazy?

Because I have no way of verifying if it's true or not, and regardless it's a horrible, awful thought that shouldn't exist!

: I don't get what's going on. Someone fully explain things!

I'd rather not, as it's disgusting and horrible!

: Basically a certain event changes in the manga.

: Oh? What one?

*Topaz is flailing, trying to interrupt Riri from spilling the beans.*

Stop! Before it's too late! Please, I beg you!

: Basically Mix doesn't get kidnapped in the manga.

*Topaz accepts that he's failed, shaking his head in shame.*

: But isn't that a good thing? Especially for you, Topaz?

It sure does sound like a good thing. But the problem is, that SOMEONE had to be captured by Altair.

: I see then. So what's the problem.

Just think about it a little.

*Zessica pauses to think, then has a disgusted look on her face when she realizes. She even covers her mouth, trying not to throw up.*

: I-I see. Yeah, it's probably for the best that we don't mention that.

Good, so let's get going and ignore that this section ever happened. Especially since I again cannot verify it as the manga isn't online.

Zessica does pretty well here, even if she is picked on too much. In the beginning she's one of the most vocal complainers about only doing unions with girls and wanting to do it with guys instead. She's also pretty naughty, what with her very revealing outfit that shows a lot of skin. Fortunately she falls for Amata, the male lead, though that could be an issue as well. It's good as it makes her only want to be with one guy which is really appealing and far better than the opposite, but sadly she is not the winner when it comes down to it. Zessica is still playful in a good way, even taking the lead and giving him a kiss. There's also some people who can see her going with Kagura, who is also a scorned lover (of the female lead Mikono). I don't consider them a couple though, so sadly Zessica ends up alone which is a shame for such a great KanaHana girl.
Grade: B

Zessica does pretty well here. She has an actual canon age instead of just taking the average high school age, and she's 17 years old. She's also the same age as her love interest Amata as well.
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 71
Average score: 7.9
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for today!

: Aw man! Zettai did me much better!

: Please don't remind us of what you did in the spoiler...

I think that means that his blog on her was better.

: O-oh, I knew that!

*Ririchiyo averts her eyes, blushing cutely. Zessica then prods her shoulder.*

: Riri! Riri! He's floating!

: Wait, what?


*Topaz looks down, and before he drops he notices that he was some distance off the ground. Once he notices he drops immediately though, landing on his feet.*

: Wait, what's going on?

I'm not sure! Maybe it just takes until after the blog to go into effect?

: That sounds terrible. What qualifies as “after a blog”? Is it like something that you can't feed after midnight yet they never tell you how long until you can feed them again?

: Maybe it's completely arbitrary or something.

That could be it. Maybe if I wait a bit between blogs it will recharge to the point where I'll be able to use it multiple times in a row!

: That would be awesome! You'd be able to walk all over the world!

I doubt that it would be that strong but it's a nice goal to head towards!

: What, is this going to become more of a shounen and you'll be attempting to walk around the world?

Sounds like fun, but that's probably too much work for me too. Plus the training would be boring, just me charging up. It's like a filler episode!

: That's true. But since the blog is sadly done I should get going..

: Don't be too depressed. It's not that Topaz dislikes you, as he mostly had good things to say. Especially about your ass and face and personality. It's just that horrible outfit holding you back.

: I wish I never put it on!

And the fact that she doesn't wear glasses and I don't have a rating for “voice” are some other reasons as well.

: That does help out a little. But thank you for blogging me still! Have a nice trip, and see you again!

One can only hope so! And good luck to you as well!

*Topaz and Riri then wave to Zessica who goes back into the school.*

: Looks like she made it back safely. But onto more pressing news.

Don't worry, your ass was just as good and enjoyable as Zessica's. Maybe more because with her I was afraid of angering Zettai. Plus hers still had the rank of lingering gases on her too.

*Ririchiyo flusters cutely.*

: T-THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS GOING TO ASK! (but thank you) I was going to ask who next week's blog is.

That's a good question. Let's look through the book.

*Topaz takes out a thick book with a lot of tabs.*

: That has more tabs than your internet window!

All of them are great girls that I plan to do. But for now, let's look through this.

*Topaz flips through the book.*

Slider, slider...

: That's the theme for the month?

Sure. I mean I wasn't planning on it, but after two girls it seemed a good fit. Now, let's see here. AH!

*Topaz points to the book.*

There's this lovely girl from a Dual mecha show-

: Pass.

You can't just say “pass”, you've got to give a reason.

: Besides that show being awful? You know that Zettai isn't a fan of it.

To be fair that could be said for a lot of modern shows.

: There's also the fact that it's an old show (in comparison) so there won't be as easy to find information.

Good point. Looks like Zettai is saved by my laziness. Now, who to look at next then.

: What about that one suit girl from Pokémon? You seem to like her a lot.

I do, but I'd like to think it would be good to wait until the anime catches up to that point. If they have her return, at least.

: Then who are you going to be doing?

How about this girl?

*Topaz points to his book.*

: Topaz. She doesn't fit with the rest of the girls. She's not a slider herself.

But she was so interested about one in the VN so it might count!

: That's bending the rules too far.

It's my blog so I can make the rules. And I say that it's time to meet up with a cute ancient Chinese beauty with a butterfly mask!
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 13, 7:29 AM | 0 comments
September 6th, 2018
This is the Five-hundred-and-tenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. We're here in the local school gymnasium.

*The camera shows Topaz and Riri are inside a gymnasium, with various athletic equipment all over. This includes mats and other similar things.*

: I'm glad that your readers have returned. I would have been sure that they abandoned you after last week.

Last week wasn't that bad. I've had far worse in the blog before, especially as far as villains go.

: Like a certain silicon-filled cow. Well, at least it can't get too much worse. I hope.


: Now, onto the business for this week... Why are we in a gym?

I came here for training. If there's one thing that the past few months have shown me is that I need a lot more stamina and gaining more skills is always useful.

: What, so this is a Shounen anime now? Are you sure that you don't just need the power of friendship to win?

Perhaps, though would that count as my summons? Maybe my Mimicry... No matter. I'm here to learn something new.

: So you're just going to randomly fall into some sort of new skill then?

Not at all. That's the reason I brought this special teacher! Though I wonder where she is...

*From the dressing room comes a young voice.*

???: I'd rather not come out wearing this.

Oh, so you were here then. And what do you mean you can't come out? That's a perfectly reasonable sports outfit!

???: But the buruma is so tight against my b-butt!

: It's alright. You can call it an “ass”.

Yes, and you should come out and show us.

???: No way! It's too embarrassing!

What if Riri wears the same thing? Then you won't be alone.

: *head whips towards Topaz.* Say what now?

You know you look good in them. Your delicious beautiful ass in buruma...

: Please don't give the audience ideas...

But it's for the blog's sake, as the girl today won't reveal herself until you do so!

???: I don't plan on coming out even if she does that!

: Phew...

*Two more voices are heard from within.*

Voice1: Come on, Miyu! You can do it! You've danced wearing this before!

: I've also worn a lot of other revealing things in the show! That does not mean I want to do so the blog!

Voice2: Miyu, he asked properly if you could train him. Please do not go back on your promise.

: I-I'll still train him. I just don't want to do it like this!

Voice1: Nonsense, you look great! Now go out there and show off proudly!

: I don't-AHH!

*Suddenly the girl bursts through the door, with two winged stick (or rather their circular tops as they're in their compact forms) having pushed her from behind. Her ass is up in the air, shaking with a great angle and her buruma being very tight against her cheeks.*

What an entrance!

: Your teacher is a little girl?

*The black haired girl stands up and brushes off, even smacking her plump ass to make it jiggle innocently. One of the sticks starts to talk.*

: Looks like we got Miyu through the door! And how nice it is to finally meet you, Topaz. I'm a big fan of your work, a big fan.

*The stick floats over to Topaz, putting it's wing on his shoulder.*

: Much like you I'm a connoisseur of lovely girls. Maybe we should work together. Just think of the things that we could do! The sexiness! The borderline questionable and erotic! The innocent curves and female form!

Wait, what are you doing here? I figured that Miyu would bring Sapphire, but what are you doing here instead of with Illya?

: You know how it is. Sometimes you just need to get away from the old woman for a day or two. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that!

That can't be the real reason...

: Indeed. My sister was bothering Illya bit too much and she kicked him out.

: Something about leaving homework until the last day.

: I suppose that makes sense. And thanks for coming as well, Miyu.

I should thank you as well. I know how busy you probably are.

*Miyu bows to greet the duo.*

: It is alright. I was able to find time today to greet you. B-but it's still embarrassing to be wearing these clothes...

*Miyu fidgets, pulling the front of her white shirt down as her hips tremble, her fat ass almost being seen from the front.*

She seems so uncomfortable. Quick, Ririchiyo! Change into your version!

: I already said no!

: What's that? I hear that you want to change. Well, you are quite the cutie so I'll be glad to use my magic on you.

*The rod circles Riri, looking at her from various pervy angles.*

: Yes yes... Such seductive curves and beauty. And that ass! Her hair is great too, mmhmm. Hey girl, have you ever thought about becoming a magical girl? I'm sure you would be a GREAT one!

: Sounds terrible. Besides, I've already got a “magical form”, though it's Youkai in nature.

: Come on, I'm sure that there's something you've wanted to use magic for! Just think of it! Riches! Sweets! Cute outfits that are questionable to show on broadcast television! Video games!

: Wait, what was that second to last one?

: Cute outfits? Er, never mind. I think I can tell what your greatest desire is...

*The rod leans in against Riri's ear.*

: Or should I say “who”, you cute little tsunshun.

: *completely monotone.* Oh no, you have found my secret. Perhaps you should take a look at this photo as a reward...

*Riri takes out a photograph.*

: Oh? A classified photo that the audience cannot see? How juicy! How perverse! How-

*The rod then gets a good look at the photo, which is still hidden from the audience's view. The next scene has the rod on the floor, a puddle of liquid under it and it looks exhausted or nauseous.*

: Blech blarg... Why would you... urp... show me such a thing...

What was that a picture of, Riri?

*She slides it back into her coat.*

: Let's just say it's from an event last month.

: Urrrggghh. The HAIR! It was EVERYWHERE! Except on his head... urph urrgghh...

Well, now that Ruby has been put out of commission how about we get started with the blog?

: I'm still too embarrassed to be seen like this!

But I wanted you to help me train, and that's the best outfit for that. Besides, we don't have any clothes.

: I can be of assistance. Why don't we have Miyu use me to transform. Then we can begin the training.

Good plan. I like it!

: Are you sure it's not because the outfit is just as tight?

Anyway, how do you feel about that, Miyu?

: I can accept those conditions. Now, how about I transform?

Sure. And in the meantime I can say that...

Now, let's see Miyu's transformation!

*Topaz goes over to look, but Miyu is already completely transformed. He looks shocked and falls to his hands and knees.*

Curses! I was about to show her transformation!

: Having you see that would have been more embarrassing than the buruma!

Fair about being in real time...

*Riri pats Topaz's back.*

: It's alright. You tried your best to look, and didn't find what you were looking for.

True. Much like searching Youtube for a transformation video I came up short...

: Unfortunate as you do have a habit of showing them.

: Maybe she just never transformed on camera.

There's that.

: Er, while I agreed to the blog I'm not sure why you called me in particular. Illya and Kuro are such better magical girls.

Well, I don't want to do Illya as I'd want to talk about the FSN version and that would require watching more of the series. Kuro would be fine, but I don't think that Riri would want me to be alone with her.

: Wait, why's that?

Think about the mana transfer...

*Riri thinks, and sees Topaz kissing the cute brown loli. Well, somewhat as there's a black dot hiding their lips as they kiss passionately on the lips. Riri is very flustered, brushing aside the thought bubble.*


Besides, I'm sure that Miyu is a better teacher than either of them! You're very smart, much more than you take credit for.

: I see. Seems that you really like me...

That I do, but how about I discuss this a little further...

Miyu has really wonderful hair, befitting the cute girl that she is. Her hair is usually up, pulled back in a low ponytail that's not too bad either. I really like the cute butterfly-like decoration that's there when she's in Magical Sapphire form. There are also times when she has her hair in twintails as well. Miyu's hair goes past her shoulders, and when her hair is down and free it reaches a nice length of about chest-level. Still, it looks really great and while the length could be longer or look fuller it's a great look. Miyu's bangs help too, with a blunt look even if she has parts in her hair. Her bangs are in an M-shape, held by an X-shaped decoration on each side. Her sidelocks are also nice, reaching her shoulder and look very thick and full. And of course we can't forget that Miyu's hair is a deep and beautiful black color. Such a beautiful color, really. Oh, and sometimes in the school scenes Miyu will wear a cute brown beret which is part of the uniform. In general, Miyu's hair is a perfect color and style with the only issues being that her bangs could be more hime-style (though they are still really good) and that her hair could be a little bit longer. But that's just being perfectionist, as Miyu does extremely well here.
Grade: A

Miyu's hair isn't the only thing that's a great color. Her eyes are also a lovely golden shade, which fits well with her kuudere personality. There does seem to be a good amount of brown, so maybe “amber” is a good term for the color. Anyway, Miyu also has really nicely-shaped eyes. They're big but have a very nice arch to them, with the inward slop looking tsurime. Or at least pretty close. The corners of Miyu's eyes are also very emphasized, like a lot of characters from this series but it fits her eye shape really well. The art style also makes her eyes quite shiny as well, giving a lot of nice appeal. She does have the misfortune of having her eyes change color, due to plot but still it's a shame she doesn't have red eyes like she did in the origin story movie. And I'm not sure if she wears glasses or not, even for a oneshot joke, which is unfortunate as well. Still, Miyu has really great eyes that look great with her dark hair. The colors go together well, and I really like the shape of her eyes too.
Grade: B

Like a lot of characters in this series, Miyu has a really great looking face. It helps that Prisma Illya has a lot of soft looking designs, especially compared to some other Type Moon works. Anyway, Miyu has a very cute and young face, befitting her age. She's often serious but isn't completely emotionless either. Miyu does open up a little as the series goes on, showing more emotion on her face but not ruining her personality either. In addition, her soft-looking cheeks and dot nose are both really appealing to me. Overall she looks really great!
Grade: A

: Hmm, I see. So this is what the blog is like.

Indeed. I'm surprised that you're not more familiar with them.

: Well, I'm not as interested in the subject as Ruby seems to be.

I understand, but you do know that I've discussed Illya's mother like a long time ago. I figure you might have been interested about that.

: In fairness that was before Prisma Illya was a thing so it's not comprehensive. It's also the older type of blog, so it's not completely accurate to Topaz's current feelings.

She's still very beautiful though!

: That is true, but I am glad to hear that you think that I am great as well.

Of course! Though do you have any questions?

: Yes. You told me that you needed training. That wasn't an excuse to get me here, correct?

It wasn't. I do really want to be trained.

: And what would you like to be trained in?

I want to FLY!

*Both Miyu and Riri pratfall from that.*


: Sadly I have not learned how to do that...

: It's alright. Not every spellcaster needs that in their repertoire. It's useful but not required.

I suppose, but it would be really convenient to move around with.

: You know what else would be convenient? LEARN TO DRIVE! Or even ride a bike!

Too much work. I want to be able to fly.

: If you desire it so, I suppose that I can help you.

You can?

: Yes. Well, the best I can show you is what I do. It's called wind-walking, which is a lot more logical than flying.

That's fair, even rogues with good enough balance can walk on molecules of air!

: W-wha-

: Don't bring D&D into blogs, Topaz. You'll only serve to confuse her further!

I suppose. But I am interested in learning that skill. I can only imagine that it will be useful.

: I just hope that you don't forget to use it when it's needed because you forget all sorts of other things...

Hey now. I eventually remembered the Ruby thing!


: Ruby thing? Like the kaleidostick?

: No, something that Topaz got from another magical girl. But it's not important right now, so we should probably keep quiet until it's time to use it. Unless Topaz forgets it yet again.

Completely understandable! But how about we train a little while talking about the blog now?

*The two girls nod and Topaz gets ready to walk on nothing.*

You might think that Miyu wouldn't do that well for me, especially being such a young girl. But PreCure or another kids show this is not, and girls are able to show off their bodies much better! Stupid parent groups and their complaints making it so that PriChan can't even wear bikinis without jackets... Er, getting back to Miyu she looks really great. She has a soft-looking body to go with her face as mentioned earlier, and I like that type of style. She also has great thighs and a very nice navel. The latter is shown off quite a bit when it comes to the times that she's emulating servants. But of course, we can't forget about Miyu's very lovely ass. She gets a lot of shots, showing off while fixing her buruma in the dancing OVA or shaking and showing her ass's jiggliness in the “Dangerous Beast” costume. We even get good shots of her naked ass in official art as well as one OVA. Miyu's ass looks really nice, but she does have one small issue: She's still a ten-year old girl. As a result her curves aren't exactly full, so she could still have wider hips and meatier cheeks. Not that her ass isn't great, but one can only imagine that a mature girl like Iris is far superior and it would be awesome if she had a good nude shot of her ass. Or if Miyu had an ass like Sakura when she wore ASS-pphire in the Movie special. But, as said, Miyu does really good here as she shows off well and has a body that fits with her young age.
Grade: B+

As expected Miyu is very flat. Not that that's a problem, as it fits with her age and body type. And that doesn't make her bad for me either. I will say that she even has a few slight cleavage moments, mainly due to how low-cut certain outfits like the dress she wears in the third season is or how small and tight the Saber top is (it's like a strap!). It's hard to tell if she has some feminine curve or not, as even official art seems unable to decide. That said, she's still probably flat and it's just poofy clothing or something being the cause. That said, she does have some slight issues-or more accurately, the show has mamocentric issues. Luvia is a big problem a lot of the time, though some other girls including Iris and Leysritt have their share of offenses. Overall it's like the creators suddenly forgot they were making a lolicom anime and forced terrible mamocentric scenes that didn't fit with the overall story (not that the Specials had to deal with the story, but still). It's as bad as Harukana or another traitor show forgetting to show asses while being mamocentric themselves, which at this point I'm not surprised for Silver Link being a traitor really. It's disgusting really, and let's not talk about some eye-bleeding and nauseating edits people have made to ruin things further. Let's just look at Miyu instead, who is a lovely flat girl who shows her slender body and plump-in-comparison loli ass instead.
Grade: B

Miyu's clothes are quite varied but they mostly look great. The school uniform is a little bland, with a brown blazer over a white shirt, a black skirt, and short socks. She also wears a red ribbon around her neck, and occasionally a beret as mentioned before. Not too impressive, but works for as little as they're actually in school. More common is Miyu in the Magical Sapphire outfit, which is a leotard-like design with exposed sides, a short half-skirt, tall boots, and cape. The cape is a problem as it does cover her ass, but it does look cool and matches Illya's Magical Ruby form too. Other outfits that Miyu has warn in the series include a gym uniform with a blue buruma, a maid outfit, a “Dangerous Beast”-type catgirl outfit with tail and ears and paws, a white bikini with a bow on the sides, a blue kimono, a set of bear pajamas with hood, a Chinese dress, a towel, a long flowing ballroom dress with a sash around her hips, and a sukumizu. She also occasionally has cute casual clothes, and we can't forget that she occasionally borrows the powers of servants as well as their outfits (with Miyu having both a Saber, Rider, and Lancer variation). Overall Miyu's clothes show off her sexy loli body really well.
Grade: A-


*Topaz lands on his face again, after several tries.*

: Looks like you're really not getting it, Topaz. Maybe it's time to train a new skill?

No, I've decided that this is the one that I want. And once I've committed myself I won't fail!

: Maybe you should just be committed! (Wait, I hope that he understands that's a joke!)

Sounds like someone wants to be committed to me, Ririchiyo.

*Riri flusters so much steam is let out. Miyu decides to get between them.*

: It seems like you have a good handle on things. Perhaps if you think of nothing it will be easier. Try not to concentrate on the physics.

Ah, kinda like how in cartoons you don't fall if you don't look down.

: Please don't confuse reality with cartoons...

Sorry about that, sometimes I get confused what with my life having a lot of anime girls in it. Truly the best life, if I do say so.

: I see. How about you try again?

Certainly! OOF!

*Topaz gets up on the pommel horse and falls face-first almost immediately.*

Looks like I'm still not getting it...

: How unfortunate.

: Maybe he was thinking about something. What exactly were you thinking of...


: Should have known... How about we keep training and you continue with the blog. Just don't get caught with illegal loli possession like they did in Gintama.

Sounds like a plan. And let's get going with this as Miyu is a great girl...

*Miyu flusters cutely from that, holding her head down in embarrassment as Topaz continues.*

Miyu has a really excellent personality. But first for a bit of background. Miyu is from another world, being born as a “child of god” and praised as a wish granter. She eventually loses that ability as she gets older, with the final wish being that her and the Shirou that took her from her isolation became like a true brother to her. And as said she was very isolated, even after Kiritsuyu and Shirou took her to their house. Eventually Kiritsuyu died, leaving Shirou to raise her by himself. She was eventually kidnapped for her powers, and Shirou went to rescue her but eventually couldn't win and had to send her to Illya's world. She then meets Sapphire and starts working for Luvia at her mansion to collect cards. Miyu also wanted to see the ocean, so when the girls visited the beach she enjoyed the sight quite a bit.
Getting to her actual personality, Miyu is a great kuudere. She opens up and shows a little bit more emotion as her friendship with Illya and the others grow, but not enough so that she loses that part of her personality. She still is pretty serious and has poor social and communication skills, but she's kind-hearted and works hard. She takes her duties seriously, even if she's not good at improvising and can't even fly by herself (she needs to use a stepping stone-type spell to walk on air instead). She's also cute around her older brother as well, acting a little spoiled and wearing silly pajamas. Overall she does really well, and she even has a great voice! She's voiced by Kaori Nazuka who does the quiet and youthful quality of Miyu's voice almost perfectly. She's done quite a variety of roles, from Lynette from Strike Witches, Yui from To-Love Ru, and Tsukasa from Amagami. But overall Miyu does really well here and is certainly a memorable and adorable character.
Grade: A-

Miyu does alright here. She's not exactly aggressive, but she does receive a lot of attention from the other characters. Obviously there's Illya, who helps to expand Miyu's worldview by being her very first friend. They start hanging out and have a really strong magical girl-based yuri between them. I'm not sure of any specific moments in the anime, unlike say Fate and Nanoha sharing a bed, but Miyu does have official art of being fed by Illya which is cute. For Miyu, anyway, as Illya seems very passionate seeing her friend in a maid outfit. This includes bending Miyu over the bed and diving almost naked on her friend (though this points more to Miyu being the submissive one in the relationship). Miyu also seems a little jealous of all the attention Kuro gives her “lover”. That said, on the topic of Kuro she's another potential love interest. The brown girl is introduced giving Miyu a deep passionate kiss, one so great that she falls to the ground and twitches. It's just magic-transfer, but Kuro certainly enjoys kissing like the devilish loli she is. A three way between the two is a perfectly acceptable path as well. In minor things her brother Shirou (as well as Illya's brother who reminds Miyu of her brother in another realm) seems to care quite a bit for Miyu and she may have some incestuous love for him as well. Miyu also lives with Luvia, being her maid though I'm not sure how much interaction the two have in this area. Finally, when Miyu picks up a yaoi doujinshi from a friend in a poor episode (as fujoshis are terrible characters) she seems to be reading it throughout. I hope she's not into that sort of thing though. Overall Miyu is mostly on the receiving end of yuri relationships, but it's still in cute fun and she does pretty well.
Grade: B-

Sadly not everything can go perfectly, and like many other characters Miyu has one problem area. This is hers, as she's only about ten or eleven, which is Illya's age. I think that she has a birthday episode later on, or at least the characters celebrated hers with Illya's and they went to the beach. Miyu shares her birthday with her friend, so it's not like she was ignored or anything. If curious her birthday seems to be July 20th. The movie does show her at a younger age, and I think that she's supposed to be six or so but I'm not sure. Still, it is a problem for Miyu here as I like older girls more (not that there's anything wrong with her, of course).
Grade: C-

Total Grades: 78
Average score: 8.6
Final Grade: B+

And that's the blog for the week. What do you think, Miyu?

: I believe that you may need more work on your skill.

: Topaz meant about your score.

Though I do need more work. I keep falling down.

: I still don't understand why you need this ability. Can't you fly in your demon or lightning forms?

Yeah, but I want a way to regain my balance in case I leave that form. You never know what kind of things that could happen!

: Sounds ominous, but enough foreshadowing. How was the blog, Miyu?

: I believe that it was quite good, but I do not know any to compare myself to.

: That's alright. You don't need to read Topaz's other blogs. Certainly not any silicone-filled cows.

I apologize to those who score lower than her, she probably doesn't deserve such a high score.

: I am sure that your readers understand. But look, Topaz!

*Topaz is indeed floating about a step off the pommel horse.*

Wait, am I floating?

*He foolishly looks down, causing him to tumble to the ground. Face-first, though fortunately he doesn't take damage.*

Phew, at least I didn't fall from a tall enough height.

: Unlike Nozomi last week! But don't worry, as she's healing nicely I think.

Indeed, as I'm not a cruel person. Though I am overly nice and apologetic at times...

: It is alright. However, since it seems that you have mastered this ability shall I take my leave?

I think that it should be good. Good luck collecting cards or playing with Illya or whatever.

*Miyu bows properly.*

: Thank you for having me. Good luck with your blogs as well.

*She then collects Ruby and leaves.*

: Well, now that you've got your dumb ability where should we go next?

It's not dumb, I'm sure it will come in handy!

: You'll probably forget it. Besides, it's based off of you thinking of dumb mamocentric cows!

I should probably clarify that thinking of her had nothing to do with me hovering. That was just an unfortunate coincidence.

: Come on! You're probably like the EVOL lead and will float off when aroused!

I do NOT eat random pieces of meat to change my form and also lack mercy invincibility!

: What does that have- I said “EVOL”, not “E.V.O.” lead!

Ah, my mistake. But I swear that's not where the powers are from! I'll even talk about a girl from that show that knows him. She'll be able to tell the difference!

: You talk a big game, but which girl will you be talking about?

Perhaps we could look at a certain dark-skinned KanaHana girl that with an unfortunate tale? I'm sure that she'll be enjoyable to talk to.

: I suppose that's better than lacking a good person. Hopefully you readers will be there as well!
Posted by emperortopaz | Sep 6, 7:34 AM | 0 comments
August 30th, 2018
This is the Five-hundred-and-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We join this blog with Topaz and Ririchiyo standing in front of a huge arena.*

: Wait, isn't this where Aldra had her battles?

No no, it's a completely different one.

: I don't know. It looks exactly the same.

I assure you, it's very different. And not just the same model because we're too cheap to get new scenery.

: *Sigh* Why are we even doing this?

Don't you remember? A terrible villain has captured the other girls of the month and is forcing us to compete for their freedom.

: Sounds like another terrible battle. Maybe we'll be able to talk ourselves out of it.

That would be nice. Though a shame you don't have to sit on my shoulders so that we can sneak in.

: How the heck do you remember things like that but not simple everyday things.

My mind works in mysterious and strange ways. I blame the sugar and caffeine.

: No one will get that joke, Topaz.

That's perfectly fine! Anyway, let's go inside.

: Good plan. We should get this blog done as quickly as possible.


*The two enter the building and are greeted by a hooded girl in a mysterious cloak.*

You must be the villain that we were sent to meet.

???: It is true that I was sent by Razonde to meet ya. However, ya are mistaken somewhat.

*The mysterious figure tosses away her cloak, revealing a curvy dark haired figure in a one-piece swimsuit.*

: I'm the hero here. A hero of JUSTICE!

*She poses, pointing to herself as her teeth sparkle.*

I'm not so sure about that.

: Right. Flat is justice, and thus you're the least justice person here.

: Heh heh, perhaps ya haven't heard about me... I'm-

Yeah yeah. You're Nozomi Kaminashi, the famous Keijo player.

*Nozomi pouts from Topaz interrupting her.*

: I am, but I wanted to be the one ta say that! How dare ya steal my thunder!

: And how dare you advertise your show as an ass show when it's a huge traitor.

Traitorous shows are the worst! If only the studios who made them were flattened by a giant steamroller, then anime would be improved!

: Well, those and mamocentric shows. Though I suppose that traitorous shows are that way by being mamocentric, but still...

: I will not be ignored!

I don't know. That sounds like the best idea for my blog.

: W-wait, so ya ain't going to do your blog on me? Well then, I guess that you'll never rescue the people who ya already discussed!

*Nozomi hits a button and from the middle of the arena comes four cages. They are the non-Taki girls of the month.*

: Topaz! Help save us from this horrible traitor! She was able to sneak up on us and capture us with unusual prowess!

: Even Juubei's sword skills were no use! Though Juubei thinks that's because she attacked Juubei while Juubei was sleeping...

: Girls in cages, all begging for mercy and innocence-so MANIAC! Though I don't see why I had to be put in a separate cage than this lovely cutie... pant pant..

: Help us, Topaz! Or at least me, as I want to get away from this creepy meganekko!

: Ah hah hah! Now will ya face me in combat?

That depends. What sort of combat are you looking for?

: Is it not obvious? Push.

*Nozomi then pulls out a button and pushes it. She then goes over to the cages as they get lifted upward. The arena floor starts to flood, with Topaz and Riri escaping to the stands. It now looks like a Keijo land, meaning the field that they battle on.*

: Don't tell me...

: That's right! We'll be battling in Keijo!!!!!!!!

That's far too many exclamation marks for what it really is. It probably doesn't even deserve one of them.

: Say what you will. I'll easily be the champion in this battle!

Of course, because it would be even stupider if I play you.

*Nozomi has a dumb look on her face.*

: W-what?

: What, you expect a guy to play in that? That would just be idiotic...

What about you, Riri? Would you want to face Nozomi?

: Not for all the money you have.

Being fair that wouldn't be much.

: B-but Razonde told me that I could face ya in whatever challenge that I wanted! Dis is no fair!

*A nearby phone rings, and Nozomi picks it up.*

: Hello? Oh, Razonde! Yeah, ya watching over in the corner? Right, as Topaz and his assistant are refusing to battle. Eh? Use the hostages? But won't they- Ah yes, the ankle cuffs. Great plan as always!

*She hangs up.*

: Oh ho ho! Ya should be lucky as I have a few enemies even if ya two won't battle! You see...

*Nozomi pushes a button, releasing the four monthly girls.*

: Finally! Now Juubei has a shot at-

*Juubei reaches for her sword, but Nozomi holds up her hand.*

: WAIT! If ya try to attack me outside the rules the ankle cuffs with stop ya!

*The girls look at the ankle cuffs, which they haven't noticed until now.*

: Wait, when did she put those on?

: I'm not sure, but I have no idea what's going on. Hopefully this is all a bad dream after eating too much delicious food.

: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm surrounded by beautiful girls, each with their own appeal. Truly this is heaven.

: Are you including me? Because ya should!

: You're not as cute as the others, but I suppose you're better than a boring guy or something.

: I'll take it! And I'll explain the rules of Keijo, which is the game y'all will face me in. Ya have to try to knock the other person outta d'field, but ya can only use your breasts and arse!

: Seems I'm a little underpowered here...

: Do not worry, you still have great appeal.

: Maybe, but there's no way that my bony teen ass can compare to your mature fat one!

: Certainly not. But that does not mean that you cannot still use yours in ways that only you can!

: Juubei thinks these rules are awful, and she will take matters into her own hands! AAAAHHH!

*Juubei runs at Nozomi, drawing her sword. However, when she gets too close the sword slams to the ground, pinning Juubei in place.*

: Errrgh... What's going on with Juubei's sword? It's so heavy, like it's pulling me to the ground!

: Darn the magnetic cave. That's definitely one of the worst dungeons in that game!

: Dat's right, and as said the ankle cuffs will react if ya try to break the rules. Now, TAKE THIS-ASS CANNON!

*Nozomi leaps, flinging her ass towards Juubei. She's hit with a jiggly assy impact, blasting her away and off the land. Juubei even skips across the water a few times. She even blew past Kirin and Nobara, their hair rustling from how fast Juubei shot past them.*

: W-what...

: It seems that this girl is stronger than we expected.

: Don't worry. We can easily defeat this horrible traitor and affront to nature!

: I shall like seeing ya try!

*Nozomi gets in a pose, taunting the girls to attack.*

: Topaz! We have to do something!

Well, you could always join them and face Nozomi too.

: Let's not get carried away. The less I'm involved in this blog the better.

Fair point. That only leaves one thing; starting the blog. And as you can probably guess...

Today's girl is:

Nozomi Kaminashi

: Seems like we couldn't avoid doing her after all. Oh well, let's see how awful she'll do!

*Meanwhile, in the shadows of the building Razonde watches.*

Razonde: Harumph. It looks like Nozomi's blog has started. Hopefully this will be the blog that does Topaz in, as he's doing such a terrible girl. Work your magic, Nozomi.


Razonde: Don't worry, Katamari. If Nozomi gets in trouble I'm sure she'll be fine sharing some of the “essence” you've collected. Not that she should need the help, as her foes are nothing but newbies and two of them are flat like pancakes. With those weak weapons she'll never be beaten!

Nozomi's hair is perhaps her best physical feature. It's a lovely dark color, either a black or blue depending on the lighting, but regardless it looks really good. Her hair is also fairly long, with her ponytail going all the way down to her hips or so. It is the lower sort that I really like, and narrow thanks to a white ribbon keeping it tight. Occasionally she'll remove the ribbon to enter a sort of “super mode” where she's even more serious than normal. I like that form as I do prefer most girls to have free hair, but even with the ponytail I like Nozomi's hair. She also has two “antenna” sticking up on her head, and her bangs are fairly long. They cover her eyebrows, and she also has a long middle bang as well. Her sides are long and frame her face well, going all the way down to her shoulders. Overall I do really like Nozomi's hair, as both the style and color appeal to me well.
Grade: B

Nozomi has pretty good eyes, though not without issues. Fortunately the shape of them are pretty good, as she has a nice sharp tsurime. To make that better is that there is a strong emphasis on the corner of her eye, with the outer edge having a good amount of eyelashes though not in an annoying way. The problem is that Nozomi has blue eyes. This isn't an issue in some ways, as it matches her swimsuit and hair color, but blue is still an overused color. Keijo seems to have a lot of characters with either blue or purple eye color. In addition to Nozomi there's Mio, Rin, and Kotone just among those with blue eyes shown in the anime. While not terrible, as there's a lot of different characters, it does hurt Nozomi a little. Sadly I don't recall if she wears glasses either, not surprising as the game is played above water, but it is still unfortunate.
Grade: B

Nozomi's face is pretty good, even if it's also fairly simple. Then again I do like simple faces, and Nozomi with her small nose and fairly cute features looks good. I suppose that her nose is slightly bigger in the manga, from what I've noticed, but being a small line instead of a simple dot isn't too bad. She is also very expressive, with a lot of silly expressions throughout the series. It's pretty good, but nothing too spectacular.
Grade: B

: Hmm, it seems that Nozomi is doing better than I expected.

It truly is a miracle.

: No, the fact that MAL FINALLY got blogs back up is the true miracle. Or drawing a Terminus or something similar and being able to cast it for the reduced cost.

That too. But honestly it's because Nozomi is front-loaded.

: Much like what little ass service the series actually had.

Somewhat, but still boo giving the aura of an ass anime only to be a traitor in the end. Or a traitor OF the end, if you understand what I mean.

: I am not a traitor of arses or whatever ya'll saying.

: I don't want to be accent-ist whatever, but can't you call them ASSES?

: Dat's what I'm saying! Stop making fun o' me!

: You deserve to be mocked mercilessly! That's what all traitors deserve! That and long, prolonged deaths with lots of pain to show the pain they've caused!

: Ya keep call'n me a “traitor”, but what did I eva' do ta ya?

: Isn't it obvious? You make a mockery of ass girls, using yours only for a weapon while flaunting your large breasts needlessly! You force people to get the wrong idea for your show, and cause them to spout terrible things! You've hurt asses more than you can ever realize!

: I still dun get what ya are saying, but I dun't like ya tone! For dat I'll teach ya a lesson! BUTT CANNON!


*Nozomi runs towards Shizuru, only to be deflected by her bigger-than-normal ass. Nozomi bounces off the sniper's ass, but regains control before she falls off.*

: Snap, I thought that this would have been a short battle.

Hopefully it won't be too much longer.

: I ain't wanting it ta last long neither! Maybe if ya other girls fought it would be more interesting!

: Use my ass and chest to fight? How barbaric. No woman deserves such injuries.

: I'm just surprised that I'm still here... But if you want a b-battle that much I'll be your next foe!

: How excellent... But do not think I'll underestimate ya!

*Nozomi points rudely at Kirin.*

: Oh no! We've got to do something!

If only Shizuru was in the audience she could have sniped Nozomi...

: That sounds crueler than this blog usually is...

Fair point, though don't worry. I imagine that Nozomi will somehow fail. But let's encourage her loss by talking about her further.

: Do we have to?

Yes, because then the evil people win. Though you readers certainly aren't required to read further.

Now we make our way to the point where Nozomi does extremely poorly. Let me get this out of the way, if you couldn't tell before. Keijo markets itself as an ass show, but it is not. It makes a mockery out of asses, teasing with potential moments but not giving asses the sexual moments that they need. It's even worse than a mamocentric show as Keijo is a disappointment, a failure, and a traitor all while also having mamocentric issues. Even if Nozomi has ass-training, and has plenty of ass shots, does not mean that the series seems to think of an ass as anything but a weapon. Words cannot portray how horrible Keijo is, or at least none that come to mine and are appropriate for the blog (specifically for my overly clean writing and speaking style). And boo Harukana being a similar show recently, with looking pretty assy in the beginning but since the blonde meganekko and her sister came it's been horribly mamocentric. Between their busty loliness and ruining official art there seems to be nothing great about the duo. Well, except for glasses but you know what I mean.
With that out of the way, though there's probably a lot more to complain about that I'm missing, I should talk about Nozomi in particular. Despite my warnings this week's girl isn't too god-awful, she even has a few good traits. She's 165 cm tall, according to the official website, though we do not have any other measurements (bet that she'd be mamocentric and fall prey to the 90HB if she even makes it that far). She does have a fairly nice waist and navel, which are shown due to how tight her swimsuit is. Even though Nozomi is strong she doesn't have an excessive amount of muscle, which kinda makes sense as she was a gymnast before picking up the mocking sport. Her thighs are kinda skinnier than I'd expect, which is unfortunate I suppose, and she does go barefoot in the game (though I'm not into that). And even with my warning Nozomi does have a fairly large ass, which is shown off quite a bit with nice close ups. I'm not sure if she has bare moments, whether in the anime or manga. Sadly her nice round cheeks aren't used in a sexual manner, mainly being Nozomi's main weapon in battle. She also trains with her ass, using her hips to pull out turnips and such but in an unappealing way. Her two main attacks are the “Butt Cannon” and “Vacuum Butt Cannon”, with the latter having many variations even if they're basically her flying ass-first towards her opponents and smacking them with her ass. The latter is also a dangerous move as it puts a lot of strain on her pelvis. And blame translations for their names, as I'd totally call them “Ass” cannons. Asses should be called asses!
Grade: C-

And of course Nozomi does really awful here. As said before, Keijo is a mamocentric anime trying to pull off being an ass one, made worse because there's barely any ass anime anymore so that doesn't need more trolling. But anyway Nozomi's chest is fairly large, even if she's not the bustiest among her group of friends (it's hard to tell without measurements). There's far too many forced mamocentric scenes though, to the point where Xebec took out a moment where she had problems getting her nipples erect. This went on for several chapters, and even with context I'm guessing that this would only become worse. And for whatever reason the series becomes even more mamocentric as the manga goes on, which makes me not want to read it for obvious reasons. There's nothing good about Nozomi's chest, and the only reason she doesn't fail outright is that she hasn't degraded herself to using pads or other fake breast technology. Otherwise it's absolutely disgusting how many mamocentric moments Nozomi gets, and she should be ashamed.
Grade: D

Nozomi does alright here, with many skimpy outfits. We first see her in a nice blazer uniform with a red necktie and a tight skirt, though I don't think we see her in class too much. The much more used outfit of hers is her one piece swimsuit, which is blue with white lines (and later red ones, it seems). Nozomi also wears a green formal dress in the anime, a pink floral bikini and a striped bikini in the manga (actually she seems to have a lot of bikinis), a white shirt with tracksuit pants (and a full pink tracksuit at times), black spats, a training bodysuit which compresses her body and almost makes her drown, a yellow shirt with green shorts, and probably more that I'm forgetting (not to mention outfits I don't know about from the manga). There's also quite a bit of clothing damage in the series. Overall Nozomi has a somewhat okay wardrobe, though she does go a little heavier on the swimsuits than I would like.
Grade: B-


: KUAAA! I saw the first attack coming, but was taken abaaacckkK!

*Nozomi's attack smacks Kirin, who is sent flying backwards into the water.*

You alright in there, Kirin?

: Don't worry. I'm a good swimmer!

*With that Kirin looks cute as she doggy paddles over to the side. There Juubei lifts her out.*

: Here! Take Juubei's hand!

: Thanks for that. It's a shame that you were knocked out so early.

: Juubei agrees! She would have easily defeated her, if this were the right type of battle!

: Oh ho ho! Ya never had a chance facing me! Dis is my game, and I'm da champ-


*Nozomi gets slapped in the face by a sucker breast punch, meaning that Nobara slapped her in the face with her chest. She stumbles backward.*

: Seems dat ya are ready ta attack! What kept ya?

: I originally refused to partake in something this foolish. However...

*Nobara seems to have a dark aura around her.*

: I CANNOT forgive those that hurt girls! That is not Maniac at all!

: Maniac-wha? I dun get it.

: Then let me teach you personally!

*Nobara then slams her ass against Nozomi repeatably, taking the Keijo traitor for a loop. She can only block some of the attacks, so she gets pushed to the edge.*

: W-what? This can't be! Ya ain't human!

: That is right, as I am a Yukionna. But even then your skills have rusted and became useless! I have overpowered you so easily at your own game it isn't even funny!

: In fairness nothing involving Nozomi has ever been “funny”.

: Grrr, ya are right. I gots ta prove myself to be a great Keijo player. I will redeem myself with my forbidden move!

: All your moves, and the show itself, should be forbidden!

: I'll getcha, ya cold girl! Take THIS! VACUUM BUTT CANNON!

*With that Nozomi makes an acrobatic charge towards Nobara, hitting directly with her ass. Nobara is blasted off the land, falling to the water below.*

: Why don't ya... COOL OFF!

: Like I said, nothing has been funny...

Oh no! Nobara fell in the water!

: What's the problem with that?

I hope her glasses are fine!

*Riri sighs.*

: Why can't we have any changes around here? You're still so preoccupied with glasses...

Nothing wrong with that. Besides, haven't you've noticed the changes to the formatting? I think that it looks good.

: That's just because you took it from your site while we were having problems. Though I do appreciate the changes, as they look more professional. It's a shame that for this site Nozomi is the one who first has that look.

Agreed. But at least the other blogs have been uploaded properly. Even if they're mostly terrible.

: Don't say things like that. They're only slightly terrible. Except for the villains, but still...

True, and speaking of villains how about we continue with Nozomi? Not that I really want to, but we might as well finish up...

Nozomi has a pretty cool and interesting, if somewhat basic, personality. She lost her mother when she was young, and since her father travels for his job she helped to raise her little sister and brother. Their lives were in poverty, but that served to inspire Nozomi. Once she saw the amount of money she could make in the gambling game of Keijo, which was basically sumo using only breasts and asses, she wanted to join the sport. She was a skilled gymnast which helps out a little, but she's very determined and works hard while training. I like the type of character who trains hard. While Nozomi wants to be rich she still encourages her friends, inspiring them and pushing them forward. It helps that she makes friends easily, thanks to her energetic and lively personality. This is in the good, not-annoying way, and with such a boisterous personality she's quite funny. In fairness Nozomi is fairly dumb with anything not related to Keijo, which means that people need to explain things to her (and the audience). Still, she's a pretty great protagonist if a fairly basic one. Shame I can't remember if she has a big appetite but that would probably fit her. And of course we can't forget Nozomi's voice. She's voiced by Lynn and seems to have a Kansai accent, even if the translations may not notice it. Still, she's a pretty good girl all things considered, though she needs to learn that asses can be sexy and not just use hers for attacking.
Grade: C+

Nozomi is the oblivious but also dense sort of protagonist. She's fine with being naked and stripping in front of people, though I'm not sure if that applies to guys or not as there aren't many in the series. Still, Nozomi has a good amount of yuri relationships. For example, there's the half-British Mio who likes to tease and fondle Nozomi (though in fairness Mio does that to most girls). There are also a lot of girls that Nozomi has a connection with, but her strongest connections are likely with the other members of room 309. This includes Non and my favorite Kazane, but the biggest pairing for Nozomi is easily Sayaka. They start out as rivals but with different goals, meeting early on and barely separating after that. Nozomi also teases Sayaka but in an innocent way. I'd probably say that's the strongest sort of libido Nozomi has, other than the perversion caused by the sport. And I'm not sure if anything more goes on in the manga, sadly.
Grade: B-

Nozomi does fairly well here. As the manga and anime start out at different places I should mention that the manga has Nozomi start out at 17. By the time the anime starts she seems to be 18, at least from what I've heard, and she's that age through chapter 90. After that she's 19 until chapter 146 or so, where she's 20 and that's where she stays at the end of the series (at least if what I've read is correct). The anime doesn't have her age up, as I don't think the plot got that far. Overall she does pretty well, starting out close and ages up a few years nicely. Nozomi's birthday is March 12th, if curious.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 61
Average score: 6.8
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the day. What do you think of it?

: I'm oddly surprised. She did halfway decent.

I know, she probably doesn't deserve as many points as I gave her. But she does have some really good aspects! Really, the main issues are her terrible series being such a traitor and not respecting the power of her ass. And by that I mean her ass' sexual nature, not the strength.

: I can hear ya talking over dere!

That's good. That means that you heard what I said and have a chance to change things!

: Don't say that. Her manga was already canceled, and that might make it return. We don't need to see any more of her.

: Dat's not fair! Grrr, I'll defeat the last hostage den ya will truly respect me!

I don't think that anyone should respect you, your series, or even your sport. All you did was beat up some girls that didn't know what was going on, smacking them with your fat ass.

: I'm glad dat ya tink it's fat! I take great pride in da size o' my butt!

*Shizuru's anger vein twitches.*

Finally you say something decent.

: It's great for fightin'!

And that's already ruined your one good thing... No wonder you're such a horrible traitor.

: She also has horrible traits too!

: I'll show ya! I'll beat ya up wit' da butt ya can't stop talking about!

*Shizuru's vein twitches further.*

: Listen to me, you imbecile. CALL! IT! AN! ASS!

*Nozomi gets smacked around by Shizuru's fat massive ass, sending her spinning across the land. She staggers up, standing eventually.*

: Looks like da gots a fightin' spirit. Surprisin' as ya are as flat as a board.

: I do not care about my chest, my ass is far superior!

: Well den, let's see how ya fair against my own superior posterior! METEOR HIP!

*Nozomi launches herself backwards at Shizuru, ready to sit on her. However, the sniper avoids it by sliding under the jumping ribbon girl.*

That was a close one for Shizuru!

: At least she didn't do a dumb kancho counter.

This isn't Chio-chan, Riri. Besides, it would have been illegal to do that as it would count as a finger-attack.

: Seems like ya are more skilled den I thought! But dun let dat get ta ya head!

: You're the one that shouldn't think too much of yourself! Take this! ASS STRIKE!

*Nozomi and Shizuru continue to engage in assy combat, with sexy smacking sound effects. Neither are letting up, though Shizuru's greater size and assy skills are causing her to gain ground.*

: Grrr, it seems dat ya are better than I expected from ya.

: Or maybe being a traitor means that you aren't as talented at using your ass as you think you are. And call it an ASS!

*Shizuru slams her ass against Nozomi, nearly knocking her off.*

Aww man, we almost could have ended it there...

: Curse you Megaman toe physics!

: I ain't going down yet! I still got my BERSERK MODE!

*With that Nozomi pulls off her ribbon and wraps it around her neck like a scarf. Her long hair flutters in the wind.*

: Let's see how ya deal wi' DIS!

*Meanwhile, in the shadows.*

Razonde: You know what to do, Katamari...

*Katamari nods and holds out her hand. Energy flows to Nozomi, enhancing her in ways she wasn't expecting.*

: W-WHAT?! Ya didn't tell me it would be like DIS!

This looks like something terrible. Let's get out of here before it gets ugly.

: It's already become ugly, and I blame you and your disgusting plots.

: I agree with your assistant. This is FAR too much. You should be ashamed you were ever considered an ass girl.

: I didn't ask for dis! I blame Razonde for enhancing me this way! Besides, it's too heavy an' I can barely move like this!

: Good, because that means you'll be unable to avoid MY attack! Come to me, energy of ASSIE!


: What.

: What are ya doing now?

*Shizuru then raises her arms, collecting power.*

: Give me your energy to face this traitor, ASSIE members!

*Worldwide Shizuru's call is heard, among many great assy girls.*

: Is that Shizuru?

: It sounds like it. Could she be trying to use the strongest ability?

: But can her body handle it? No, if any one could it's her. She's used to breaking limits.

: Hmmm? Someone is requesting my divine aid. Do not worry, as I shall give it freely! HA!

*The four girls start lending their energy to Shizuru. But that is not all.*

: Hmmm? Someone seems to be calling me through my mind. And asking for my aid?

: I hear it too. Seems Shizuru needs our strength badly. We have to help her get revenge on the mamocentric and or traitor she's facing!

: I may not be an official ASSIE girl, but I shall lend my strength too!

: A call... for help... I shall... assist you... Shizuru.

*The four girls likewise lend their energy to Shizuru. But that is not the end.*

: What's this? I hear a voice, as if she were calling me. Asking me for help... Yes, let me give you strength!

: HA! To ask something like this from me. But I appreciate you for asking, so I shall lend a hand. Be grateful I am in such a good mood...

: Hmmm, even here in the throne of heroes I hear your call. But while I would scold you for depending on my power, I shall still send you my energy.

: As will I. I hope that you take down that enemy and kill her for sure!

*All the energy from the girls all go straight to Shizuru's fat ass. She then bends over, aiming towards Nozomi.*

: I have collected energy from assy girls around the world, so prepare to defend against this!

: W-wait! I dun get what's going on!

: You shall be defeated by what you have mocked and ignored for far too long. SPIRIT FAARRTT!


*Shizuru then lets out a fart so strong and loud that it shakes the entire arena. Nozomi is blasted high up in the air, and flung away from the land.*

: Looks like there will be no recovering from that. I think that Nozomi even lost the “enhancements” that she gained as well.

We don't need to talk about that. But at least she'll be landing safely in the water.

*Nozomi then comes down, hitting the water hard as if it was frozen over.*

Ooh, that looks like it hurt.

: Being fair she probably deserved it. But in all seriousness she's probably alright.

At the very least the game is over.

*Nobara, who was near where Nozomi landed, waves to Shizuru.*

: Sorry about that, Shizuru. I had frozen some parts to make it easier to cross.

Curse you Death Knights and your ability to freeze water.

: No one gets your WoW references, Topaz.

I suppose. But at least Nozomi is properly defeated! Now we can leave this farce!

*Topaz starts to leave, with Ririchiyo following him.*

: So what sort of girl are we going to look at next time?

Well, since there was such stupidity this week how about we look at a magical girl?

: Oh? PreCure or something similar?

Not quite, though this girl is part of a really big franchise. Though she does have a sad past.

: That doesn't help too much, Topaz...

Fair. Let's just say that much like the Maho Girls this one has a “Sapphire” form as well...

: I see. I just hope that you won't mangle this girls name as you're prone to do.

Hopefully not, as a cute girl like her deserves only adoration and friendship.
Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 30, 7:17 AM | 0 comments
August 29th, 2018
This is the Five-hundred-and-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We start the blog with a ninja girl sitting on an edge of a cliff, her ponytail blowing in the wind. She is wearing a mask to hide her face. However, huffing soon arrives behind her.*

Huff... huff... Why did we have to come this far out in the wilderness.

: It's all your fault. You're the one who wanted to challenge this mysterious ninja that attacked you last week.

It's a good thing Juubei was there too. She sure saved me.

: That she did, though I wonder why you didn't let us follow us in case we needed help.

I don't need help. Well, not with this. I'm sure that this is all a big misunderstanding.

: And if it isn't?

Then I'll be too worn out to battle.

: You have terrible strategies, and leave yourself vulnerable too much.

I'm a very trusting and generous person. Unless it comes to money, then I'm extremely cheap.

: One of many reasons you still don't have a Switch...

What, are you waiting to play great games? Going to main K.Rool or something?

: Perhaps I will. But that's not imp-

*Suddenly a kunai is thrown, striking between Topaz and Riri's faces. It stabs into a tree behind them, and both turn to look at the ninja who has thrown it.*

ExCUSE me? We were talking here!

: Yeah. You can't just attack people randomly. I mean, sneak attack damage is important and all, but you can't just interrupt our conversation.

Ninja: You two were being too loud.

We're out in nature, we can do that. Besides, it's not like we were talking too loud.

Ninja: Loud enough that I heard it echoing through the forest. And did I not tell you to come alone?

...No, and believe me I checked.

Ninja: ...I see.

: You also forgot to give us directions. We ended up at a ton of cliff edges looking for you!

Ninja: Seems I lacked telling you important information. My apologies. To show my penance I shall remove my mask.

*The ninja takes off her mask, revealing her face. Riri elbows Topaz.*

: Good of you not to make a terrible joke there, Topaz.

True, but now I have to explain that I misspelled “penance” at first and it looked like-

: That's enough of that, Topaz.

: Indeed, as now that you have seen my face I must make sure that you are defeated.

: Oh! So that's who it is. It's Taki... Explains a lot, as you know her from before my time.

Exactly, though nothing wrong with that. And what's this about me being defeated?

: Is it not obvious? You and I must battle, to ensure that all the shards are eliminated.

Shards? Are you sure you're not in some villainous team?

: Especially not one that relies on dumb nicknames.

Hey, I sometimes like the nicknames!

: You would (wait, no! I can't insult Topaz like that... Stupid stupid stupid). Stupid!

No need for name calling, Ririchiyo.

: (Dung! One of those words fell out of my mind and into my mouth! How can I possibly recover? Wait, I know-) Harumph. Then prove it by talking down Taki.

: Talking is not an option. I shall destroy you, and I have no idea what you intend by “villains” or “nicknames”. Are you in line with Siegfried? Toki? Cervantes?

I've played as them, but not for a long time. Well, two of them at least.

: Played?

: Topaz is referring to video games. Do not mind him, and we will say that we are not your foes.

: I see, then I shall listen to your request to speak. Do not waste this honor.

Let me do my blog on you!

*Taki is bewildered, taking off guard.*

: A what..?

: Topaz would like to write about you.

: I would not enjoy that. A ninja must keep their identity hidden.

I think it's too late, as you've attacked us last week. Besides, I'm sure that no one will read this!

: Except Topaz's dedicated readers, but they won't use the information contained in any dangerous way.

: Hmmm...

Also you get a score based on how well you do.

: ...Interesting. Well, Topaz. You have interested me.

So you'll let me do my blog this week on you?

: I suppose so. But do not think that I shall let you go without the fight. It would be unsporting if I were to attack you during the... blog, was it?

: That's the right word.

Indeed, so let's begin by saying that...

Today's girl is:


Soulcalibur II

: I see, so this is how it begins...

That's right. Any questions before we start?

: Might I ask why you did not link the first game I appeared in?

Yes. And it's because II is the first Soulcalibur game I played.

: ...It is not the only one, correct?

Nope, as I've played Soulcalibur III!

: Barely. You tried unlocking a difficult character at the start, got frustrated, and then stopped playing.

I still enjoyed it, even if I played other games instead.

: Still better than Lightning last year...

I blame filler arcs. Like this one!

: You don't have to admit these things!

: What have I gotten myself into...

Don't facepalm, Taki. We'll get into the blog soon.

: Also to readers, the title of the series is “Soulcalibur”. It's dumb, but that's what Topaz has decided to use.

Mostly because I forgot to add the capital “C” far too much and I'm too lazy to go back to change it. Now, let's get going!

I really enjoy Taki's hairstyle. Like a lot of ninjas she has her hair in a ponytail, lifted up so that it's not in the way. It looks good, and I like how it's held with a nice decoration as well. Her ponytail does only go to her shoulders, or maybe at about her mid-back. A shame as it looks like it was longer in the earlier games, so boo the potential haircut as I blame lazy creators not wanting to put in the effort! That aside she doesn't have her hair down very often, only once as an alternative outfit in Soulcalibur II (the green bonus one). It reaches past her shoulders, which is nice but I would like to have seen it a bit more. Taki's hair is a little taut, pulled back due to the ponytail. Fortunately her bangs aren't too affected, and she has long enough side curls that they reach her chin to give a good framing to her face. Her bangs aren't too special, with an almost-token long middle bang that I've been noticing a lot these days. Taki does have her hair over her left eye in certain games, not entirely but it is as if she intentionally parts her hair that way (the part being over her right eye). Occasionally Taki also wears a headband, which is cool and fits with her Japanese-style hair decorations. And, of course, we can't forget that Taki has such a beautiful black hair as well. Overall, as said before I really like Taki's hairstyle, and while it's a shame it isn't as long as it once was or she doesn't have her hair down as much as she could the positives (the dark color, the framing, among other things) balance it out and then some.
Grade: B+

Taki has some pretty good eyes as well. It's not as easy to tell on her 3D models, but her official art (especially from Queen's Gate) does make her eyes look pretty slender. She also has a nice tsurime, which again is more visible in the 2D images, but it fits with her personality and I find it to be a nice shape overall. I'm not good at telling eye color, but from what I've seen Taki has either golden or brown eyes (a lighter brown, mind you) but I can't exactly be sure. Still, it's a pretty color even if it is a realistic one (that's not intended as an insult on it). Taki sadly doesn't wear glasses either; the closest seems to be a domino mask in Lost Swords in an alternate outfit which is a shame. I might just be imagining things as well, but it's possible that she wears make-up around her eyes to give it a darker color
Grade: B

Taki does pretty good here, though I'm not a fan of the 3D art style for characters. Fortunately like with her eyes the Queen's Gate artbook among other 2D official images help out. She does look pretty stiff in the beginning, due to the hardware limitations in the early games. While this is better these days I still am a little wary of 3D art. Taki also seems to have a large nose and lips, at least depending on the game (and that might just be me being a little too picky for my own tastes). Taki also wears a facemask in most games it seems, which covers the lower portion of her face and causes some problems. Her mouth may be exposed and it does look cool while fitting her character, but I'm not big on masks as they hide the beauty below. Still, Taki's solemn personality still gives her a lot of room to show off her emotions. At least in the games I know about. Still, Taki does have issues even if her face is fairly attractive looking.
Grade: B-

: I see. So all you talk about are my physical features?

Well, initially but as we go down the sections we'll be discussing other various things. Still, it looks like you're doing quite well.

: If only you had longer hair and didn't wear a mask.

: But then how would my features be hidden?

Wear glasses instead! Like Clark Kent!

: I don't think she gets that reference, Topaz.

True, but I do not think that she minds. She's probably just ignoring me when I speak.

: If only I could do the same-er, I-I didn't mean that!

Don't worry, I appreciate that joke! But for now let's continue with the blog!

Taki has measurements as well! Her official height is 170 cm, and while that doesn't seem tall considering she's Japanese by nationality it means that she's pretty tall (not as tall as Ivy, who is 179, but still pretty tall). Sadly her three sizes aren't as great, as at 90/52/85 she just barely passes the “5 cm rule” I tend to hold girls to. She's also 53 kg, though that doesn't matter too much. That said, Taki is still very acrobatic, tending to rely on speed even if she's pretty fast too. Her legs are quite nice, with her thicker thighs in particular looking good. Of course I can't forget about her ass either. 85 cm might not seem like a lot, but Taki's ass still looks pretty good. It's not what she's focused on, but even back in the Soul Edge days she was showing her ass in official art. The Queen's Gate book has some particularly great shots too, making her ass look much bigger than her 3D models tend to. There's a few good ones with her assflab getting pushed by strings from her torn bodysuit, looking really great and sexy. And that bodysuit really helps show off her body as well, though I'll talk about that in clothing more. Sadly this also means that Taki's er, more “intimate” parts get shown. In the games this tends to stick with the V-portion of her groin only, though the Queen's Gate shows more of her crotch including the inner line. I'm not big on that type of appeal, but I still find Taki very attractive overall.
Grade: B

Taki does have a lot of trouble here, though considering how fanservicy Soulcalibur is that isn't too surprising. She's one of the bustier girls, and as a result she got quite famous from that. Not as famous as say, Ivy, but Taki is still one of the franchise's most iconic characters. She is very bouncy, though I can't be sure if they've done better in the more recent games along those lines. What does her in is her bodysuit once again. Her nipples show through it, and in the original Soulcalibur she also shows cleavage. She's tied for third among the girls, sharing a size of 90 cm with Sophitia and being below Ivy (at 100) and Setsuka (at 95). Still, Taki is often thought of as a mamocentric character even if she's somewhat more balanced in the official works. Then again that might just be because this series is a little more mamocentric than most. Not to the point of certain current series, but still leaning a bit more towards there.
Grade: B-

As mentioned before several times Taki is well known for her bodysuit. In most games this is a red tight bodysuit that goes from her shoulders down to her feet. It shows off her body really well, as said. Sometimes it's purple or blue, and in Soulcalibur her bodysuit shows some cleavage. Taki also wears metal shoulders, gauntlets, and greaves. In some games she also wears some armor on her torso, though it tends to show off her chest more than needed. She also seems to have a lot of variety and alternate outfits as well. In the original Soul Edge she has a blue leotard with sandals, as well as a red yukata with a blue bow in an ending image. In Soulcalibur II she wears a white outfit with short skirt, big armored shoulders, and sorta-thighhighs due to how high her boots go. Taki also has a third costume, which is a green outfit with short skirt, green belt, and nylon covering her otherwise-open cleavage. In Soulcalibur IV she wears a shogun-like outfit with a headband and the big loops over her shoulders that I don't know the proper name of. She also has a kimono with flowers on it in an official image for that game which looks pretty. In Lost Swords Taki also wears a superhero-ish outfit, with a short cape, very short shirt that shows off underboob, a short plaid skirt with a thong underneath, and thighhigh pink stockings with tall black boots with heels (or maybe that was just concept art). There's probably more costumes, but I'm just going off of images that I've seen. Still, just that bodysuit made Taki well-known and is iconic for her, looking extremely sexy wearing it and showing off her body well.
Grade: A-

*Taki unsheathes her dagger and puts it against Topaz's neck.*

Hey! I thought that you said that there would be no attacking while the blog was going on!

: I have changed my mind. Consider it a punishment for discussing such... delicate matters without telling me first.

: That's all just part of the blog. He has to discuss everything, including the erotic points.

: Is this true? Was there no lust in your intentions?

I can't say that it was completely without lust. You do have quite the shapely figure, and as said you are quite attractive.

: Your words are quite perverse, but honest. For telling me your true feelings I shall not eliminate you, not yet at last.

*She puts her dagger back, and Topaz lets out a relieved sigh.*

That was a close one. I'm surprised that you would be so embarrassed about your figure being discussed.

: It is a ninja's duty to stay out of sight, and with all the information you've used to describe me I am afraid that I may not be able to go into hiding as easily.

You should grow your hair out and wear glasses then!

: You're really pushing for that, aren't you. Why not say something like she should cut her tumors off?

: Please do not order me to disfigure myself.

Of course not. If I were to order anything it would to be inside that bodysuit.

: Oh? I do not think that it would fit well, for multiple reasons. Your scrawny body is too small for it, for one, and you don't have the proper curves either.

: I think that Topaz meant while you were still wearing it.

: But there isn't any room in with me. If that were to happen he would be pressed against my body!

Sounds like heaven...

: Stop being perverse, Topaz!

I can't stop being what I am. It's all a part of me, like my terrible jokes and somewhat-obscure video game knowledge! Though speaking of being perverse...

*Riri sighs*

: Do we really need to give him some service?

Of course! It would be mean not to! After all, he's had to endure this terrible blog long enough. Plus I'm sure that he doesn't mind having more service, what with blogs still being down.

: MAL needs to finally finish. It sucks that it's one of the last few things to be fixed.

Hopefully next week we'll be getting news. But until then...

Surprising Taki has a very interesting history that I didn't know much about before researching. Her family died of disease at a young age and she was raised by a ninja clan and in particular their leader Toki. Taki then became a good student, learning many ninja arts and eventually becoming a demon hunter. She also had a childhood friend named Chie, and eventually Chie's father Hachibei was targeted by their ninja group. However, Taki spares her friend's father's life and instead takes the weapon, the Mekki-maru, for herself (which she still uses to this day, along with her old weapon Rekki-Maru). Hearing Toki wanted to kill them (or more correctly Chie's lover as Taki said that he had the blade instead) and hearing rumors of another cursed blade like this one she went searching for the Soul Edge. Said evil blade was also affecting her own sword as well, giving her another reason to go searching. Eventually she got to Spain, where she killed the wielder of Soul Edge Cervantes and saves Sophitia from death. However, after returning home Taki found out that Toki wanted the Mekki-maru so much he would send assassins out against her. Not only that, but as Taki wielding her weapon the power of Soul Edge (which she had used to repair her weapon) was revealing her position. She decided to go back to Europe to finally destroy all the pieces of Soul Edge. This journey takes many games, eventually destroying the weapon in Soulcalibur IV. Then, in the fifth game, she leaves to explore rumors that Toki (who died in an earlier game) was still alive. This may just be pieces or shards of a bigger story, but I don't have personal experience with a lot of games in the franchise and even then the lore is very twisty.
Anyway, that's just Taki's background and not her personality I suppose. The bad thing is that there isn't too much to talk about. Taki is a serious and stoic ninja who has very powerful skills. She's not only a great demon-hunter and sealer, but she's also a skilled blacksmith which I found cool. She also seems to have a sixth sense which helps with her search both for demons and for fragments of the Soul Edge. That said, I don't think she's too interesting even though she is somewhat emotionless. Her backstory is pretty cool though. Speaking of cool things about Taki, she's gone through a lot of voice actresses. In English she's voiced by Desirée Goyette in Soulcalibur II and by Cynthia Holloway in every game since Soulcalibur III onward (at least as far as the current time). Taki has had even more Japanese voice actresses though; Fujiko Takimoto from Soul Edge to Soulcalibur III, Sachiko Kojima from Soulcalibur Legends to Soulcalibur Lost Worlds, and now Nanako Mori in Soulcalibur VI. Still, I do like Taki a lot, even back in the days of playing Soulcalibur II on the Gamecube she was one of my favorites. Not that I was much good with her, but still.
Grade: B

This is Taki's main issue, as she doesn't seem to show too much libido. She seems like the type to focus on a mission instead of this sort of thing, which is a shame as the series has Ivy as a great dominant inspiration. Then again I suppose the games don't have much opportunity for something like this. A shame, really. She does have two possible yuri pairings, not counting things like Ivy's dommy fighting or Sophitia's facesitting-well, if I want to be fair we can't completely disregard Sophitia. Taki does save the Greek future mother in the original Soulcalibur, killing Cervantes at the same time. Taki then carried Sophitia back to her home in Greece and tended to her wounds, so there might be some shipping there. But the two girls I was thinking of are different. First is Chie, who shows up in the series as Taki's childhood friend. Though she does have a male lover, so I wouldn't base too much on that pairing. There is also Natsu, who is Taki's ninja apprentice and was nearly raised by the ninja. She also took Taki's spot in SCV and also went searching for her teacher during the events of that game. Still, that's probably a little grasping at straws and Taki doesn't show much in this area.
Grade: C

Taki does absolutely fabulous here. In fact, she even ages quite a bit over the games which seems pretty unique. Even the first game, Soul Edge, had her at the really sexy age of 22. During the events of the original Soulcalibur she's 25, and after Soulcalibur II all the way up to V she's considered to be 29. Sadly Soulcalibur VI, which rebooted the timeline of sorts, doesn't have a listed age for Taki. Still, she can't be too different from the ages, and with an age in the 20's to continue the trend. Overall she does really well, even if the series is set in the 1500's or so.
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 74
Average score: 8.2
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: It is finally complete?

Yes. What do you think about it?

*Taki says nothing but unsheathes her two daggers.*

I don't think it was THAT bad...

: You're an optimist, Topaz.

: Do not think of this as a critique. I was just waiting until you were done to eliminate you.

What? I was thinking that my good blog would help convince you to not kill me!

: Looks like it didn't work. Big surprise...

: Nothing can convince me to spare you. You've already been bonded with a shard of Soul Edge, and in order to eliminate it I shall kill you!

*Riri and Topaz look confused.*

Soul... Edge?

: That's right! You must know what it is, considering you've been mentioning it throughout the blog. And I can sense a shard of it within you!

Within me... Wait, do you mean this?

*Topaz takes out his necklace with the elemental gems. In particular he shows off the first one.*

Could you mean this?

: Hmmm, that does not look like a shard of Soul Edge. Yet it gives off a similar aura.

: Well it does give Topaz a demonic form, but now that he's trained it won't be able to take him over.

: I suppose that I was hasty. I had seen that you were wielding an item of evil aura, but I was mistaken to think that it was a piece of the evil blade...

Indeed. I don't have any evil weaponry. Or cutlery either

: Cutlery... Topaz, stop making random comments.

But if I don't make random jokes and comments who would? Besides, the idea of a demonic spoon makes me giggle.

: That seems quite odd. But now that I have no business with you I shall take my leave. I do not wish to meet you again, so good bye.

See you around, perhaps!

*Taki disappears, but then reappears.*

Wait, I didn't mean that literally.

: Forget something?

: Yes. I forgot the main reason I was scouting you out. I come with a warning.

A warning? Probably about a villain we shall meet soon.

: Yes. There have been rumors of a ninja who has been stealing the essence of others, taking it for herself. Beware this rogue ninja.

: That sounds like a terrible mixed class. Why not just be one?

Maybe it's gestalt and they really like sneak attack.

: I still do not get your odd words, but do be on guard.

Of course. And you as well.

: It would be foolish if I were to fall prey to this, but thank you for your concern. Now I shall disappear.

*As before, Taki disappears.*

: Really wish that we would have had a better clue.

That's alright. We'll just have to look for a ninja.

: That sounds difficult.

We'll just have to go back to town and look for clues. Luckily we can just do that in a single transition, instead of struggling up this cliff again.

*The two look down at the path they took to come up.*

: Looks like we have to get going...

Dumb narrator and not following my cues. But indeed, let's get moving.

*Topaz and Riri make their way down the cliff, and soon they're back at town.*

: Well, that was still better than having to do the whole thing again.

That's right. Exercise is terrible and-wait, what's this?

*Once they get to town there's posters all over the buildings. Topaz pulls one off.*

Oh no! It seems that Nozomi is back at her old tricks!

: Eh? The Love Live idol that was evil.

No, the Keijo one. Looks like she's having a grand competition sometime next week!

: We don't have to go, right?

Normally I'd say no, but look at this!

*Topaz shows off the poster to Riri. Former blogged characters are there, looking like they've been captured.*

They've captured the girls of the month and she's holding them ransom until I go there!

: That sounds really dumb, but considering the show she's from I shouldn't be surprised. Looks like we have someone stupid next week...

That's right. But we have to be heroic and save those victims! Or at least be there to help them out.

: I suppose...

*Topaz and Riri then run off, the blog seeming to end with that.*

Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 29, 8:27 AM | 0 comments
This is the Five-hundred-and-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are currently seated at a family restaurant-like place.*

Welcome back everyone. We're currently at a restaurant, as the narrator said.

: You don't need to announce everything, Topaz. And why are we here again?

*Topaz leans against the table between them.*

It's just that after all the birthday blogs I'm still recovering. Though I still enjoyed writing and being in them.

: Really? All of them?

Yes. I'm sure that Zettai enjoyed his fun very much.

: We can only hope so, but that's not what I meant. After all, I have THIS!

*Riri shows off a photo to Topaz, who looks shocked. The photo is facing away from the camera, so the viewers don't know the content.*

W-wait, you took pictures during that event? Why would you want to?

: Hey, you took pictures of me and likely Nobara too! All's fair, though I suppose that we went a little far.

I know. That outfit... words don't describe how it makes me look. Now put that away. People are trying to eat here.

: Oh yeah. My bad.

*Riri slips the picture back into her pocket, still not showing the audience what is actually on it.*

: So what are we going to eat?

We'll find out once we get a waitress. It seems like we've been waiting for a whole week!

: Waiting you say? What do I look like... Wait, referencing that scene isn't very helpful.

I still enjoy the attempt. But HEY! OVER HERE!

*Topaz stands up and waves, calling over their waitress. She scampers over and is wearing a waitress outfit even if it's not shown in her image.*

: Welcome to Idun No, and it will be a pleasure to serve you. Juubei's name is Juubei, and I shall be your waitress for today. Moe moe kyun!

*Juubei, the waitress, makes a cute pose putting her hands in a heart shape.*

: Wait, waitresses are still doing that? Isn't that reference like a decade old?

Hard to believe that K-On aired nine years ago...

: Did Juubei do something wrong? Juubei apologizes.

Don't worry, I just got hit by nostalgia and how old I'm becoming.

: You aren't old! Especially not for your date!

*Both Topaz and Riri spit out their drinks.*

: EXCUSE ME? Does it look like we're on a d-date?

I know!

: Who'd want to date an idiot like him?

I know-wait.

: Juubei apologizes for another mistake. It's just that you two look so cute together.

: C-cute?!

Well, we are pretty cute. But she's my assistant and we're on official business.

: *Gasp* Sounds important!

: Not really. All he does is talk about girls.

: Juubei thinks that's poor taste to do in a date.

It's not a date! I think...

: N-no! Though he does leer quite a bit. But what I mean is that he has a blog where he talks about girls.

: Talk about... girls....

*Juubei thinks about things a bit, then slams her fist against her other hand when she thinks of an idea.*

: Juubei is a girl! Can you talk about Juubei?

: I don't know. Topaz hasn't talked about any girls from your series yet.

I'm getting to it eventually! There's just so many series I need to discuss first! Well, that's an excuse but-

: And how many Senran girls have you done?

Too many, I'm guessing. *looks to Juubei* So perhaps I should do you this week.

: Don't distract the audience Topaz. You need to pay for your sins!

: YAAAYY! Juubei is going to be on the internet!

*Juubei dances around in a sexy manner, her short skirt showing off her nice ass.*

: Calm down! You're getting too excited.

: Juubei apologizes, but Juubei wants to hear what you, er... Muneakira? No, you're someone else.

My name is Topaz, and this is Ririchiyo.

: People often call me Riri. And seems that your abilities aren't working on her.

Of course not. She's a Samurai Bride, and I can't affect married girls. But even if she's married that doesn't mean that we can't say that...

Juubei has surprisingly good hair. Usually I don't like red hair, but for whatever reason I like her shade. Maybe I'm starting to break my former criteria, or maybe she's just an exception. Still, it's a nice color and goes well with her clothing. Usually Juubei has her hair up in a pair of twintails which curve upward before going down the back of her head. I don't know if it looks good or not, as it looks somewhat odd to me but in a unique way that I'm not sure if I like or not. Anyway, Juubei's sides are pretty long, reaching at least to her chest and sometimes down to her waist. She also has small wraps in her sidecurls, and speaking of hair decorations she has what seems to be a sword crossguard in her bangs over her left eye. I'm not sure how it stays up, and at first I thought it was some sort of coin or something xD. Juubei's bangs are mostly generic, with some long points including a thick middle bang that goes between her eyes. She also has three hairs that look like antenna on the top of her head. Occasionally Juubei seems to have her hair up in a bun or down, the latter being good as we can see that her hair is to her waist which does quite well. Finally, we can't forget that when Juubei becomes a Samurai Bride her hair becomes white and she gains cat ears. Her hair also becomes longer, reaching about to her knees or so. Overall she does good, but not quite strong enough for my tastes to get much higher. Still, Juubei is a rare red-haired girl that I like the hair of (though they're steadily becoming more frequent).
Grade: B

Juubei does pretty well here though she has an issue or two here and there. Her eyes are a blue, and while the inner pupil-like area being dark blue is good the lighter color doesn't go too well with her hair. The color is also somewhat common, with Hanzou having blue eyes and Gisen having somewhat-similar green eyes (though they have their respective differences in glasses and an eyepatch) in the same harem. The shape of Juubei's eyes help out, with a slight tsurime and a nice slope. She does have some eyelashes, but in the series proper they aren't too noticeable. Juubei does become more serious in combat mode, and in this form she also has yellow eyes with somewhat slit-like pupils. The outer corner of her eye also gets a little bit of color to it, making her look more powerful somehow. Occasionally she'll have one blue and one yellow eye, giving her a little bit of hetrochroma appeal. I don't think that she wears glasses, even sunglasses, but I can't be sure. Still, she does quite well here.
Grade: B

Juubei does have a pretty great face. The art style does make it a little stiff, though I'll mention that more in the next area. She is still very cute, with a lot of sweet expressions. Her energetic personality means she has a lot of good facial moments, though I can't forget that her serious “combat” version is good as well. And Juubei has a small nose as well, which is always a good sight for me. Overall there's not much to say here, but do know that Juubei has a really nice looking face.
Grade: A-

So what do you think about the blog, Juubei?

: Seems like Juubei is doing very well! But it seems like you'd like it if Juubei wore glasses.

I would!

: Then you must really like Hanzou!

A little, but her masochistic tendencies are a little annoying.

: Juubei doesn't understand...

: Topaz thinks that she is too dedicated, to put it another way.

: Ah...

I think that we're just confusing her more.

: Regardless, don't you think that we should order something? We can't just sit here and take up a table.

: That's Juubei's job! And Juubei will go and put in your order. Two house specials, right?

That sounds good.

: We didn't actually order that. I don't even KNOW what that is-HEY!

*Juubei has already rushed to the kitchen, with Riri holding out her arm.*

: I have a bad feeling about this...

It's alright. I'm sure that Juubei has the best of intentions at heart. And speaking of her, let's continue with the blog!

: Without her here?

I'm certain she'll be able to know what I'm saying. I hope, at least. But while we have time let's get talking!

As mentioned Juubei does have a fair problem with the art style, but other than that she does really well. The issue is that, due to how the characters are designed and outlined they seem to pop out a bit more than most other series I've seen. It takes a little getting used to, but it is a good stylistic choice and makes the series stand out. The light novel illustrations don't have this issue, if curious. Still, do know that in the anime Juubei as well as the other characters will seem to have thicker line art than most other shows. In better news Juubei does have sizes (thanks to Queen's Gate, at least). She's 158 cm tall and her three sizes are 90/58/87 though I'm not sure how canon in the series proper that is. It's a shame as her ass could be quite a bit bigger, with a more round cheek, and she should crush the 90HB. Still, at least her show is a lot better than most recent fanservice shows and she shows off her ass quite a bit (including her bare ass occasionally). Official art also gives a lot of great shots from her fat ass, showing her curves in a fundoshi and other assy clothes. She even has tanlines in one image, making her even sexier! Her ass is really good she's still not as great as Matabei, but I suppose that's understandable as it would hard to top her brown fat fundoshi ass. Her legs and waist are pretty nice too, which is good. She's also very athletic, especially when it comes to using sword skills as she's a powerful Samurai Master/Bride (which are titles for power in the series). While she could stand to have a bigger ass Juubei does really well here.
Grade: A-

That said, Juubei does seem to be more of a chest character. Though that may just be how I see it, and at least the series isn't as bad as a lot of other shows. Still, she does show off her bare breasts quite a bit (with the series censored with ink spots when it aired). As mentioned her chest is 90 cm, and she's very bouncy as a result. Juubei's opinion of her chest is mixed, as Yukimura tells her that it's useless flab which causes Juubei to ask Muneakira (the male lead) if he likes them, while Gisen gives her advice use her chest to tease the customers at work. As a result Juubei gets a lot of unintentional moments, probably ending up being a little more mamocentric than she could be. To make matters worse her Samurai Master seal is on her breastbone or so, between her chest so when characters get their symbols shown off she gets a chest shot. She also has a moment where she washes someone's back with her chest (though I don't think it was the male lead). Overall she has some issues, but while there are bad scenes Juubei still does alright as she doesn't usually intend to focus on her chest and she still has a lot of assy art.
Grade: C+

Juubei's clothing choices are a mixed bag. Usually she's wearing a pink sailor uniform with a red collar, a very short red skirt that makes her look almost bottomless due to the length of said shirt, and white panties. The collar looks nice as it matches her hair (as mentioned prior), but I don't know how noticeable the pink-ness of her outfit is in the series itself. And while white panties are usually pretty plain they do have a pretty cool design in front, looking like they have shide, or the ribbons from a gohei, on them. Other outfits in the anime include a white mini-bikini in one of the specials, a red sling-like swimsuit that I find hard to describe as well as a white swimsuit that looks similar (with an X around her middle and a hoop), a white towel, a pink robe-like outfit with short bottom, a wedding gown, and a waitress outfit with big shoulders, a short skirt, and quite a bit of cleavage. Juubei also gets squeezed by black ribbons during her transformation, but I don't know if that counts here or not (she also glows black when she activates that power). She also takes quite a few baths, if “naked” counts as clothing (I've counted it before). If you include Queen's Gate she wears a blue buruma gym uniform though not for long, and an S&M black outfit with mask courtesy of Katja. Finally, in official art Juubei has worn things such as a fundoshi and red thong, wshowing off her ass fairly well. Overall it's a little basic, with some mamocentrism present, but otherwise she shows off a good variety of outfits and looks good in most of them.
Grade: B

*As Topaz ends that article Juubei returns bearing two plates full of mediocre food. She places them in front of the two bloggers*

: Juubei returns, and with your delicious moe moe meal!

That looks edible!

: It's a good thing I'm hungry and Topaz is so cheap, or else I wouldn't eat that...

: Juubei is glad to have you eat her delicious meal, but Juubei also likes all the praise Topaz has given me.

Of course, as you're a great girl! Though you aren't the first “Yagyuu” that I've discussed.

: Well, she IS the first one that has more eyes than assholes...

RIRI! Don't say such things! This is a public place.

: Considering the things you've said in the blog it's not too embarrassing.

Fair point, but luckily the people around us haven't noticed.

: Juubei has noticed and paid attention!

That's good to hear, so let's get back to business!

Juubei started out as many harem leads to, falling from the sky from nowhere and meeting the lead Muneakira. She actually came down from the heavens as well, and seemed to imprint on him. She's a little airheaded, but she's very honest and energetic most of the time. She's very playful and enjoys giving people she meets cute nicknames. She also speaks in the third person as well. Still, she's an honorable and powerful swordsgirl. She's even more powerful in her combat form, even if she acts like a berserker at those times and needs to reign in her power with Muneakira (by using a kiss). Her main weapons are a katana (which can become many blades it seems) and a wakizashi. She's also a big eater, such as during her casual moments in the second season's ED where she thinks about the episode's events and eating. I do prefer her inside form, but without the dynamic of the dual personas Juubei would probably be a lot more bland.
Juubei is voiced by Aoi Yuuki, who does a really great job. She's most well known for Madoka from her namesake series, though she's also done characters like Hibiki from Symphogear, Victorique from Gosick, and many others. It took a little getting used to Juubei's normal voice, it's just high pitched enough to annoy me but as I watched the series that dislike went away and I started to like her cute voice more. Then again, Juubei's inside voice is a lot more my style, with a sadistic lower pitch that... ahhh, it just sounds SO good! It was what made me like Juubei a lot more, and it was a really sexy voice! Overall Juubei has a lot of good things about her, from her dual persona dynamic and great voice, and while not perfect for my tastes she still does well.
Grade: A-

Juubei is sort of a mixed bag when it comes to this area. She is very devoted to Muneakira and is likely the official “winner”, at least as far as the anime is concerned. She also calls him “oniichan” for that appeal too. Juubei does get a lot of kisses, but otherwise fitting her child-like nature she's fairly innocent. Her combat form, at least when she's trapped in that form, is a lot more direct. Then again, it's more of an “awkwardly” direct type of thing. Still, she does pretty well I'd think, not being embarrassed if seen naked or not getting too overly competitive like certain other harem girls along with her. Juubei does have some yuri shipping as well. She has a rivalry with Gisen in the first season, with the brown cyclops eventually giving her advice on how to seduce Muneakira. She is also a good waitress to Musashi, who seems to like teasing the innocent Juubei. Finally, she gets very close to the villain from the second season Inshun, becoming close friends and trying her best to not have her killed while sticking up for her as well. Overall she does pretty good here, at least I'd say.
Grade: B+

I'm not sure how old Juubei actually is. She seems to be in her late teens, but I often guess poorly so who knows. It doesn't help that Juubei's main personality acts so child-like, which tends to mean that she's newly-created. The fact that she comes from the heavens might make her really old though, especially her inner form. It's possible that Juubei was created recently and is ageless as well, but I can't be sure. I'll just consider her to be about high school age or so and hopefully that would be good. I'm not sure about her age compared to Muneakira either, though she does call him “oniichan” so maybe he's older.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 77
Average score: 8.6
Final Grade: B+

And that's the blog for the week!

: Already? But Juubei didn't get that high of a score!

: You still did perfectly fine. A B+ is a good score.

: Juubei doesn't understand the score system...

Ah yes, I suppose not. Overall while not incredible you still did way above average. You should be proud of your total.

: Juubei sees.

*Juubei nods, but still doesn't understand.*

: Don't worry. It doesn't matter too much, but hopefully you still enjoyed having Topaz talk about you.

: Juubei did!

That sounds great, and hopefully our food will come soon.

: I'm just worried as to what it will be...

I'm glad that's our only worry-

*As if called by Topaz a ninja falls from the ceiling. She has a red outfit, though her face is covered by a mask.*


I didn't even say something like “How could this possibly get worse”!

*The ninja throws a few kunai at Topaz.*


*The blades come closer, but Juubei appears with her yellow-eyed combat form even if the picture doesn't show it. She easily deflects the weapons with her swords, with one embedding itself in the wall behind Topaz and Riri.*

: What do you think you're doing, attacking civilians right in front of me?

???: This is not a battle I am able to win. Topaz, I wish for you to come face me next week.

Face you? What is the reason behind this?

: She's obviously working for the villains, Topaz.

That can't be it, as this week still has a fifth week to go.

: Maybe she's like Rin and moved her attack up.

There's no celebration though.

: Regardless, I cannot stay here and watch as you ruin my companion's friend. I shall end you here!

*Juubei charges, and her and the mysterious ninja clash blades. They even both use dual blades to attack and defend. However, the mysterious ninja leaps to the ceiling and escapes through a window.*

???: As said, I shall be waiting for you Topaz. Come find me.


*After the ninja escapes Juubei goes back to her normal form.*

: That seemed random.

: Topaz! Juubei suggests that you don't go and meet up with her.

No, it is something that must be done. But there's just one problem...

: What's that?

She forgot to tell me where to meet her.

*Juubei and Riri pratfall, but the latter sits up quickly rubbing her forehead.*

: That's just great. And we have no idea who she is.

You mean that you don't? She's from a fairly famous video game franchise.

: Not really-wait, since she has large... and is a ninja... TOPAZ! We told you no more Senran girls!

She's not from THAT series, Ririchiyo. She may be busty and have destructible outfits in certain games, but she comes from a much more acceptable series!

: Really then. What one?

Let's just say that she's the sole ninja of her calibur. Does that help out?

: Not really. You even misspelled one of those words. Are you trying to confuse me?

Sounds like the sole edge might belong to our readers then....

: Stop using references I don't get!

: Now is not the time to argue! Especially as Juubei has brought you your dinners!

*Juubei had recovered from her fall and went to get the meals from the kitchen. Fresh ones as the previous ones had been destroyed in the battle, or just became cold due to Topaz talking about Juubei. They look as bland and unidentifiable as possible.*

How... edible. Well, I suppose that it's time to leave for the week so that we can enjoy our meals.

: I doubt that will happen. I'm pretty sure I saw it move...

Just your imagination. See you next week where we'll look at a certain demon-slaying ninja!
Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 29, 8:24 AM | 0 comments
This is the Five-hundred-and-sixth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. I'm glad that you've returned after the hectic week that was last week.

: Just because you had to work slightly harder doesn't mean that it was “hectic”, Topaz.

I suppose not, but it was still somewhat rough. But I won't let that get the best of me. This week we're joined by a special guest!

: You mean besides whatever girl we'll be doing?

That too, but we'll have to meet her later. For now let's welcome Zettai!

*Zettai heads into frame, waving to the audience.*

Zettai: Thanks for welcoming me to this blog. I'm certainly excited!

That's good to hear, though hopefully we'll be able to read your blogs again sometime soon...

Zettai: It's terrible not being able to see Katja and the others. I blame Hitagi fanboys.

: I'm sure that MAL is working hard. Hopefully they'll be finished soon.

I hope so as well, as I like reading your blogs. But this isn't the time to praise your blog. Instead, let's head to where the girl is!

Zettai: I can't wait! I hope that the trip isn't long either.

Fortunately we're right in front of the building.

*Topaz points to the nearby building which has “ASSIE” labeled on it.*

: For a secret headquarters that looks a little obvious.

True, but I'm sure that asses and especially female ones need a lot more time in the limelight. But that's enough chit-chatting, let's go in!


*The trio then go up the steps and knock on the door. A small window opens up, showing Takane's face.*

: Who goes there?

It's Topaz, Ririchiyo, and Zettai!

: I see. You should know that we won't be allowing you to join, for obvious reasons. But Riri, are you here to join? We have invited you and your fat ass before.

: N-no way. It would be too embarrassing. (Though I thank you for the invitation)

: Suit yourself. Wait, did you say that Zettai is there?!

Zettai: THAT I AM!

*Zettai pushes against Topaz, trying to look at Takane. She giggles from his eagerness.*

: I see why you're here now, Topaz. You're here to celebrate Zettai's birthday!

That's correct, and I want him to have the best one ever!

: Mostly because Topaz can be really bad at this sometimes...

: True, but I'm sure that Zettai forgives you for the whole Airi fiasco.

Zettai: It depends, but most of the time I have.

: Great to hear. Now, how about you enter?

*Takane opens the door, allowing the trio outside to enter. As they pass by both Topaz and Zettai are shocked at her appearance.*

Takane! You look so different!

: Thanks for noticing!

But... Hmmm. I can't put my finger on it...

: I did get a new thong. How about you take a look?

*Takane then moons both Topaz and Zettai. Their mouths are agape at the moon idol's mooning.*

Zettai: Such pale moon beauty!

I agree! Though I don't see your thong...

: Oh my, perhaps I didn't wear it. Whoopsie. But don't worry as my ass is big enough that you can't see anything-AHH!

*Zettai starts fondling her soft plump idol ass.*

Zettai: Such beauty, as always!

: Should we stop him?

Let him have his fun.

: Like how you had fun last week?

Shhhh, the viewers don't need to know specifics.

*Zettai still fondles Takane's fat ass, his face against her cheeks.*

Zettai: AHHH! Takane's fat smelly ass always feels so good!

: So do your naughty fondles-AHH! No wonder my fat ass is getting bigger and bigger, as you keep pampering my meaty cheeks-AHH!

Zettai: A fat ass like this deserves to be played with and worshiped!

: Yes-AHH! But if you continue like this I can't hold back-AHH!

Quick Riri! Cover your nose!

: Better avert your eyes too, or else the rank stink will make them water!



*Takane then lets out a huge fart, covering Zettai's face with her gases. Luckily Riri and Topaz had turned around, avoiding the blast even if the birthday boy got most of the blast. He seems dazed and falls to the floor.*


: And there's a lot more where that came from!

*More girls start to enter.*

: I heard that all the way on the other side of the building. And I must say, I'm impressed and jealous!

Zettai: Minna!

: I know. Takane is surely the best farter among all of us.

Zettai: Fate!

: Thank you for the kind words, but do not think that your gas is sub-par. I'm sure Zettai enjoys all our gases.


: Then let's see who his favorite is...

*The three girls smother Zettai with their huge asses, hiding his whole head easily. They squeeze tight, rippling their massive asses.*



*The assy girls and both Topaz and Zettai look to see who the voice is. Though Zettai is too engulfed by massive cheeks to be able to tell. Still, the camera shows off her fat sniper ass first, barely kept in a thong as the camera pans upward. She faces the group as the camera reaches her shoulders.*


: That's right, Topaz! I'm here as you requested!

Zettai: MMMPH! It sounds like Shizuru is here! MMPH!

: That's right, and I'll take my rightful spot as your birthday blog girl by shooing the other girls away.

: But we want to play with Zettai too!

: There will be plenty of time to play after the blog is over. Or maybe during.

Zettai: MMMFF? During?

: Yes, during. I can't do everything I want to all by myself.

: So be looking forward to the plans she came up with.

: Not to mention all the fun we'll be having after the blog is over.

*Takane, Fate, and Minna all leave, going into another room. Zettai reaches for them, but Shizuru presses her ass against his face. His whole head is smothered, hiding it entirely as well as pinning the blogger to the wall.*

: Do not worry, Zettai. I shall make sure you're properly pampered by my fat sniper ass.

So does that mean that you'll allow me to blog you?

: I wouldn't have invited you out here if I didn't want you to. It will even give me more time to play with Zettai here.

*She wriggles her hips, bouncing her fat ass. Zettai squirms but he can't do anything against Shizuru's fat adult ass.*

Zettai: MMMPH! Can't... Breathe...

: Uh oh...

: Is that all? Do not worry, Zettai. I'll make sure you have all you can inhale of your favorite gas!


*Zettai gets face fart once again, feeling Shizuru's amazing fart and rippling cheeks as she presses her ass against him. His body trembles as he breathes her noxious gases.*

Zettai: MMMmmmm...

: Come on, Topaz. Don't just stand there! Get going with the blog-AH AHH!

Something wrong?

: Sure smells like something is...

*Ririchiyo waves her hand in front of her nose, trying to get rid of the gas.*

: Not wrong, but I just want to have more time to play with-AHH! ZETTAI!

Well then, let's get this blog on the road by saying that...


*With that Shizuru lets out more and more gas, feeling relieved from how great it feels.*

: Ahhh... It feels so great to rip one on Zettai's face. It's exciting me so much!

: Probably exciting him too, what with how he's twitching.

: The problem is that-AHH! His sniffing and twitching feels so good-AHH!


*She keeps letting out farts, bouncing on Zettai's face the whole time.*

: Ugh, it smells so awful now... Can't you do something about that?

Zettai should be sniffing the gas faster, though I'm more angry about the farts. With as loud as Shizuru's farts are I don't think that she can hear me...



See? How am I going to do the blog like this?


*Shizuru pulls out a pair of headphones. She then puts them on, all while covering Zettai's body with her rank mature gases.*

: Are you sure you're the one that needs those?


I suppose that's one way of doing things. I'll be seeing you later.

: Perhaps, unless you decide to play with Zettai longer.

*Shizuru nods and walks into the other room with the other girls. Zettai is still head-deep between her massive cheeks, barely able to keep up with her long stride. Ririchiyo takes a sigh of relief.*

: PHEW! I'm glad that we don't have to keep smelling that rank odor.

Indeed. That way Zettai has it all to himself. Though speaking of things, it seems that we are able to start the blog. Let's get going!

Shizuru has really great hair. It's a lovely black color, though there are occasions where it looks slightly blue. Still, it's a nice dark shade that looks really good. Her hair is somewhat long, reaching about chest-level so while it could be a little longer (such as to her waist or so) it's still a nice medium-length. I like how the end is blunt as well, which looks quite nice. Shizuru's sides are a little shorter, but they also reach about to her chest. Her bangs are somewhat basic, with a zig-zag cut and a long middle bang, but thanks to the color it all works really well. To be fair Shizuru does wear a helmet while piloting, hiding some of her hair but luckily her hair is long enough to be seen otherwise. Overall it's a great style and color, only missing out with the bangs slightly. There's also one official image has Shizuru wearing a ponytail/bun with a yukata. I'm not sure if there's any other moments in the series where she had a different hair style, but as said she does well.
Grade: A

Shizuru has very pretty eyes. They're narrow, though not narrow enough to be the slit-type of eyes either. Shizuru has a slight tsurime though it is hard to tell, due to how slender her eyes are. Still I really like them as they fit her character really well. I think that Shizuru's eyes are a grey color but I'm not sure (it could be blue or another color, as I have problems telling due to the art style). Still, it's overall a nice dark color that works well with her black hair. Overall I really like Shizuru's eye's, both color and shape-wise, but she needs glasses (though preferably better ones than Kiriko's triangle-style ones).
Grade: B

Shizuru's head looks very nice as well. Her head is acorn-shaped, looking quite pretty and framed well by her long hair. However, there are some issues. The art style makes her look a little older than I'd like, namely with her nose. It's a fairly long line, and from the side she seems to have a pretty big nose. That said, most of the characters in the series are like that so I probably shouldn't pick on Shizuru in particular. Overall I do find Shizuru both cute and cool, but she doesn't leave any lasting impression in this area sadly.
Grade: B

Hmmm... I haven't heard much from Shizuru lately. I hope that nothing is going wrong.

: To be fair I'm sure that she's QUITE busy with Zettai. And it would be for the best that we don't interrupt them.

???: That's right!

*Topaz and Riri hear Shizuru's voice, but aren't sure where she is.*

Shizuru! I thought you were with Zettai! What are you doing out here?

: No, down here!

*Topaz looks down and notices a radio.*

Oh hey, a radio!

: That's right. This way I'll be able to communicate even being behind this door. It even filters out the gassy noises so that we can converse easier.

That sounds like exactly what we need. Especially today.

: Anyway, don't worry about me. I've heard everything you've said. I really like the blog so far.

I'm glad that you enjoy it so much. I hope that it compares to Zettai's.

: Hard to tell, as blogs STILL haven't returned!

: It's taking Duke Nukem FOREVER for those things!

Let's hope it's not as awful as that turned out to be. Now, how about you describe what's going on right now?

: I'll do you better!

*Shizuru shifts the camera to the room where she and Minna took Zettai. The two are currently sitting on his crotch, bouncing their huge fat asses.*


: I'm glad that you enjoy our fat meaty asses so much. But you're not allowed to climax.

: At least not before we REALLY use our fat asses. I'll pretend that you're a Neuroi and crush you with my killer ass!

Zettai: Hopefully not literally... AH AHH! YES!

*Shizuru and Minna keep using their fat asses, squeezing tight as well as bouncing their flabby asses against Zettai's body. They even use their hands to alternate their cheeks, making him feel even better.*


: Already? We've barely even begun.

: Now now. I'm sure that he wants to climax so let us pamper him more. And with his favorite thing as well..

: Ah yes. Are you ready for that?

: Certainly. Now-AHH! FIRE!


*With that Minne and Shizuru both let out a huge fart each, making Zettai nearly faint from pleasure.*


: We can tell, as you've just dirtied our fat asses. As punishment you'll have to lick them clean!

: Though you should be careful as we're sensitive and gassy, so if you take too long we'll rip huge farts on your face!

Zettai: Oh no... I'd better not take too long, heh.

*The two girls sit on his face, allowing Zettai to lick their asses clean. They likely let out huge farts, but before that we return to Topaz and Riri.*

Sounds like Shizuru is really having a lot of fun. Zettai too!

: I'm just glad that she's not ignoring the blog. We need all the views we can get!

I agree, but speaking of the blog let's continue onward!

This is one of Shizuru's best areas, though there are some issues. One of which goes with the next area, so I'll wait until then. Anyway, Shizuru has sizes which are always helpful. She seems to be 167 cm and her three sizes are 87/53/88. It's nice that she has a larger ass than chest, but really her ass could be so much bigger. That said, Shizuru still is well-known for her fat ass. The camera often shows shots of it, with her cheeks often exposed as well. She gets a lot of sexy moments, with the most famous one being where she's trying to slide into her ship's cockpit and her fat ass makes her get stuck for a short time. She also has a great cut-in in the PS2 Godannar game, with her ass coming into the scene first and looking very sexy. It is like front and center too, being very focused on, which is good as only her and Lou (the token loli) seem to get ass-shots (a real shame, I suppose). In addition, they made an official doujin to fund the second season (with a lot more erotic things than they could put in the actual anime). The main bonus is that there's a picture of her showing her anus, and outside of hentai that probably never happens! Though I suppose that there are hentai images later in the same book, but let's not talk about them. Instead let's look at Shizuru's other assets. Her body is very sexy and curvy, with her ass definitely being her best feature as mentioned before but her thighs are also quite sexy and her waist is fairly narrow which only brings out her curves more. Overall, her ass could be even bigger or shown off to a greater extent but since she's still the series main ass girl she still looks simply amazing.
Grade: A-

Sadly as mentioned previously Shizuru is also pretty busty, with a bust size of 87 cm. She's also the third bustiest character, though considering a majority of the girls in the series are very busty I'm pretty surprised. A shame, really as they could have made her more slender or at least smaller than a lot of her costars. I still wouldn't hold it against her too much though, as those are just numbers. The problem is that the show is also fairly mamocentric, even with Shizuru showing off her ass as much as she can. She gets a lot of bouncy breast service, and in the previously mentioned official doujinshi she shows off her nipples (which are small, but that's not what's important). Shizuru also has an issue of misusing a squirt gun in an official image, putting it between her breasts which is really silly (She should have stuck it between her asscheeks instead). The worst moment, at least as far as I remember, was that in the epilogue Shizuru took Kiriko's place and had a reference to the busty mother. You see, Kiriko kept her phone between her very large breasts and answers it in the first episode. In the epilogue the same type of scene happens, only it's Shizuru that's taking a call from her breasts and making her chest jiggle. Really, she should keep her phone between her buttocks and then there could be “booty call” jokes. Okay, so that pun doesn't work in Japanese but still! But yeah, the main issue with Shizuru here is that she's very busty in a pretty mamocentric series (though not as mamocentric as most series these days) and that the epilogue seems to take her legacy of being an ass girl and spit the worst kind of vomit on it.
Grade: C

Shizuru has a surprising amount of variety, with a lot of sexy outfits. She's probably most known for her pilot suit which consists of a blue bodysuit with leotard (and often wedgied) bottom. There's a while vest-like part on top and the shoulders are rounded like a ball joint with a golden ornamentation on the outside. She also has white gloves, and I think tall purple boots connected to her hips and the boots have white bottoms. Or maybe the white bottoms are her actual boots and the rest are modified thighhighs, I'm not sure. Still, what I do know is that it's a sexy bodysuit-like outfit. Other outfits that Shizuru has worn include a white one-piece swimsuit, a track jacket, a grey bra with panties, a towel, a blue dress with mini-jacket, and perhaps more that I can't remember. Other outfits, the ones in official art, include a black one-piece swimsuit with a somewhat open side, a green buruma gym uniform, and a purple kimono with flowers. Overall she does well, and especially the bodysuit and buruma outfits show off her ass well. I'd say that she could use more ass-showing outfits, but she still does a good job here overall.
Grade: A-

: Looks like we're getting further and further in the blog.

That we are.

: Hopefully Shizuru and Zettai are enjoying it.

I'm not sure if Zettai can hear it, but I know that Shizuru can so let's ask!

: I'd rather not interrupt them, but if you insist...

Sounds like a good plan. What do you think about the blog so far, Shizuru?

*The radio crackles once again.*

: I'm a little busy right now...

Oh, my mistake. I thought that you were with Zettai still.

: I am, and Fate is helping me out as well.

Helping you out?

: Yes...

*The camera cuts to Fate who has used her magic to shrink Zettai down to a small size. She's holding him, with Shizuru bent over and showing off her huge ass that looks even more gigantic to the tiny blogger.*

: I'm glad that you came up with such a sexy idea though. I'm sure that Zettai will love it.

: I'm sure that he will. Now, SHOVE HIM UP!

*Zettai struggles in Fate's hand, but he is useless to her giant hand. She places his feet against Shizuru's anus, pushing the shrunken person inside.*

: AH AHH! That's it, Zettai! Wriggle in my tight anus!

: Hold still, I'm having problems putting him in!


*Shizuru shakes her hips, bouncing Zettai's tiny body against her cheeks. Fate slides him inside the sniper's anus, all the way to the point where only his face is sticking out.*


: AHH! And your tiny shivering body feels so good too-AHH!

: Don't fart quite yet, at least let me get away!

: I suppose that's fair. I have to adjust myself anyway.

*Shizuru then sits up, lifting her ass from the bed she was on. She then squats down, spreading her cheeks tight.*

: AHH! Prepare to emerge from my ass with a new life-AHH! And I'll make sure you'll be pleased properly as well, becoming a slave to my fat ass-AHH! And you're doing so well making my ass feel good, I can feel your love and devotion to my huge ass. AHH! Here it comes, Zettai! ENJOY THIS FREELY!


*Shizuru then lets out a huge fart, pushing Zettai out of her ass. Not just with one fart, but a good amount of them all in rapid succession. Zettai is pushed out by the farts as if he were a piece of feces, but he enjoys every moment.*

: AHH! That felt good! Especially the farts and having Zettai squirm around inside-AHH!

: Then how about we keep putting him in?

: Great sexy plan!

Zettai: *Cough cough* I ENJOY IT AS WELL!

*Fate and Shizuru continue this play, as we return to Topaz and Riri.*

Good to hear that they're enjoying the blog.

: I'm pretty sure that we shouldn't show that in the blog. But if he enjoys it I guess we shouldn't mind.

Hopefully he enjoys it. But speaking of enjoying things, let's finish up the blog!

: No one enjoys that. (Stupid, don't insult Topaz's blog when he's right here! Quick, think of some way to save yourself) Er-I-I obviously mean finishing the blog.

True, but we need to continue onwards. Otherwise I'd have to be writing all the time and my fingers wouldn't be able to keep up. So let's continue with Shizuru's blog!

: (Whew, he bought it...)

Shizuru hasis a very cool personality. She fits the TDB personality fairly well, being aloof with dark hair but sadly she is a little tsundere. It's not that she's too sharp-tongued but rather that she can't admit her feelings for reasons out of her control. Still, Shizuru is very awesome and when I initially watched the show she was definitely my favorite due to her mature and determined personality. Though she's also the type that I'd easily back off from for the sake for a friend too, for obvious reasons. Shizuru is the main pilot of the Core Gunner mecha, which is a sniper mecha (which explains her nice ass, I suppose). She's such a good sniper due to advice from her beloved Goh as well. She's a very experienced pilot, often doing a good job and being very GAR as well. She's so GAR that she uses the “Who do you think I am?” phrase years before TTGL. She's also so determined that she is able to return from the “dead” thanks to Mira granting her some power. This determination isn't always good as she's quite stubborn or overconfident in her skills. As the series goes on Shizuru helps train Anna, being rough but with a reason (Shizuru wants to make sure Anna won't hold Goh back). Probably the only thing holding her back is not being a “main” character, but if I remember correctly she still shows up quite often. Shizuru also has a great voice, and even if I watched the show a while ago in dub her subbed voice is probably superior (at least from the parts I've heard). Her English VA is Tiffany Grant, while her Japanese VA is Yumi Kakuzu. The latter has voiced roles such as Mint from Tokyo Mew Mew, Tea/Anzu from Yu-gi-oh, and the replacement Magical Sapphire from Prism Illya (as well as Seolle the assy sniper from SRW, which fits Shizuru well. And that's not counting the fact that in at least one game she gets her fat ass mocked, making them even more alike xD). Overall she does really well here, appealing to my enjoyment of experienced female fighters and TDBs.
Grade: B+

Shizuru has some issues here, though they sort of define her character at the same time. She has an unrequited love for Goh (or “Goo” in some translations I've seen), so her heart was broken when he decided to marry Mira. Mira then died, but before Shizuru could admit her feelings Anna shows up and marries Goh. This makes Shizuru pretty frustrated and trains Anna extra hard as well as taking some time to become closer. Shizuru sadly still can't move on, even once the two are married. That said, Shizuru does have some minor shipping. Goh's younger brother Shinobu seems to be falling for her, and her former copilot Kouji gets teased on occasion (though he's out of commission for most of the series). It's a shame that Shizuru doesn't have an ass-loving boyfriend in the epilogue, as she totally deserves one!
Grade: B

Shizuru is outstanding here, being 28 years old during the majority of the anime. That's really outstanding as I was expecting her to be younger (at least back when I was watching the series, at least). Still, that does really terrific and awesome, so much so she's getting close to the “maximum” level though that's been relaxed a little due to me growing up. Apparently in the epilogue in the last episode she's 35, which is a bit older than I like but she still looks about the same (even if forgetting that scene ever happened would be fine too, for reasons previously mentioned). Still, Shizuru does perfectly here, with the emphasis on “perfect”!
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 81
Average score: 9
Final Grade: B+

And that's the blog for the week! How did everyone think of that?

: I think that most of the girls are a little busy. I'm sure they're all fooling around with Zettai.

: Not right now.


*Ririchiyo is spooked as Shizuru starts talking right behind her, not realizing the assy sniper was there. She jumps cutely.*

: Oh! Sorry about that!

: Don't worry, it was my fault.

Shizuru! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in there playing with Zettai?

: Well, since the blog has ended I figured that I should say my goodbyes in person.

That's a good plan-wait, your ass! It's HUGE!

: Well yeah-

*The camera focuses on Shizuru's fat sniper ass, and she places her hands on her exposed cheeks. Her fingers are out wide, and even then she can barely support her entire ass.*

No, I mean it looks even bigger than when we got here!

: Oh sure, you notice that but not-no, never mind. I won't say anything...

*Shizuru looks a little flustered that Topaz has brought this up.*

: I'm sure that all the fondling and love that Zettai gave me has made my ass even bigger.

: That or one of the other ASSIE girls could have used her magic to make her ass bigger. Even the moon idol Takane could have used lunar magic or something!

I doubt Takane knows Moon Energy or Moon Saber or something. Though happy recent anniversary to that game.

: Indeed. Though I do wonder w-why you're so curious.

Well, I can understand that Zettai loves fat asses. And I can understand the girls making your ass bigger as well. But I'm curious as to where he is...

*Topaz goes up and prods Shizuru's fat cheek. Her meaty flabby ass jiggles from just his finger.*

It's not like he's here with us too, is he?

: N-no! Not at all! B-besides, shouldn't you be going now? The blog's over.


: She's probably just tired of talking to you. Come on, let's get Zettai and leave-wait, where is he?

: Er, he wasn't feeling good so we decided to let him sleep a little. Don't worry as we'll send him back to his place after he's better.

: See? He's just a little exhausted.

Heh heh...

: Stop that. But Shizuru is right. We need to get going.

True, I'm sure that Zettai needs a lot of rest right now. After all, he's BORN to worship fat meaty asses like yours, right Shizuru?

: *Cough* I-I don't know what you're talking about...

That's fine. And besides, I suppose that it's time to go. Unless you want to stay and become a member, Riri.

: No way. I don't qualify as much as girls like Shizuru and Takane, I just can't compare!

Your ass is still great there!

: T-thank you, but flattery will get you nowhere...

That's fine. But have a good time, Shizuru! And the other girls as well. Don't wear out Zettai too much. Just enough for him to enjoy his birthday!

: Oh, I'll be sure that he enjoys his birthday. And be seeing you soon!

You too!

: Right!

*Riri and Topaz leave, waving back to Shizuru. Once outside the two start talking.*

: So who what will we be doing next?

First I'm going to wash the finger that touched Shizuru's ass. It smells a lot like her rank gas, and it's sorta making me sick.

: Oh, that's going to be a pain to get out. I remember how long it took until our living room stopped smelling like Hiroko's gas. But I mean about next week.

Well, we're be looking at a certain waitress. Or at least she was one in the second season.

: Second season waitress? I hope it's not another Working girl.

It's not. This one is a samurai girl.

: Still sounds like a certain narrow-eyed sword girl...

I don't think she's an actual samurai, Riri. This one is, as she's really good! So much she'd be a master, or even a samurai bride!

: Hmmm... Sounds like a certain red-haired dual persona girl is coming up...

Exactly! And I hope that you're looking forward to her!

: Ehhhh....

*Topaz and Riri thus leave, while Zettai stays with the ASSIE girls and has amazing fun with Takane, Minna, Fate, and of course Shizuru. They all use their massive asses on him, making this the best birthday for him.*
Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 29, 8:21 AM | 0 comments
This is the Five-hundred-and-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are standing outside the building they were in the previous blog.*

Welcome back everyone. Hard to believe that it's been a whole week since we talked last!

: Don't be cute, Topaz. Everyone knows that this is the special Meganekko Day blog.

That's true, and do you know what that means?

: ...Happy birthday, Topaz.

*Ririchiyo is looking very cute and blushing. Topaz pats her head.*

Thank you for that. But it's not just that. It means that we get to look at a certain meganekko.

: I remember, and no thank you.

It can't be that bad, can it?

: You don't know the half of it. If you don't mind I'll be staying out here.

Well, it's not like I can force you into coming in. But I want to discuss this lovely meganekko today, so I'll go on my own!

*Topaz enters the building while Ririchiyo stays outside. He finds his way to the dining hall, perhaps getting lost but eventually gets to where the meganekko is.*

There she is. Finally. Hey! Nobara!

*He goes over to her, and is met with a glare that pierces through Topaz as if it were a icicle spear.*

: Eh? Who do you think you are calling me something like that?

I'm Topaz!

: Meh. State your business or I'll freeze you to bits.

That sounds terrible, but I'll still tell you what I want. I want to talk about you in my blog today!

: No thanks. There's nothing that a boring GUY like you could do to deserve to talk to me. I may be bored, but that's no reason to talk to YOU. Now leave me alone to enjoy my meal.

B-but I wanted to talk about you today... I even went through hard work to get here...

: I can see from those wet bandages all over your hands. But that's not going to convince me to let you blog me. You should be honored that I've said this much to you already. Now leave before I call the security on you.


*Fortunately for Topaz a certain assistant comes between him and Nobara.*

: S-stop refusing and let Topaz talk about you!


Riri... You came back!

: I-it was just because I didn't trust you enough with Nobara. I was sure there was going to be something disgusting and mamocentric going on! And that's the whole reason, harumph.

You don't have to be so tsun, Riri. I know that you wanted to help out because you knew I'd have trouble convincing Nobara.

: Such Tsun! M-MANIAC!

*Nobara is panting all over Riri acting like she does. She tries to ignore the meganekko, who is nosebleeding very close to her.*

: Oh Ririchiyo! Allow me to slip my fingers inside your thigh highs! Pant pant...

: N-no! You don't get to touch me!

: So TSUN! So adorable! So MANIAC!

I'm glad that you're in such a better mood. Especially if you'll let me do my blog on you.

: Who said anything about doing something for YOU! Now leave and let me ogle Ririchiyo in piece.

*Riri looks at Nobara with her cutest eyes.*

: P-please help out my friend, Nobara. I'll let you do anything...

Ririchiyo! Don't say things like that! You don't need to put yourself in an awkward position like that for me!


: Within reason, and there's no touching allowed!

: I can deal with those criteria, and I even have some great ideas too! Pant pant...

: What am I getting myself into...

Don't worry, Riri. I'll protect you as well as I can! So can I talk about you, Nobara?

: I suppose I'll allow a brute like YOU to talk about me. Keep it short, though. I have plans to tease Ririchiyo a bit after...

: I knew I shouldn't have came in...

It's alright, Riri. I'm sure that you'll be fine, but don't forget that...

Today's girl is:


Nobara Yukinokouji
Inu x Boku SS

Nobara has a pretty good head of hair. While blond is a bit overrated (especially with blue or green eyes, the latter she has) she is fortunate enough to be in a series without much competition. Karuta has red/pink hair and Riri has purple hair, meaning Nobara's blonde hair fits well with the duo. Nobara usually keeps her hair free, with it falling about to her mid back which looks nice and pretty. It's also fairly straight, which I like. I will mention that occasionally she has her hair up in a ponytail, but not too often. She also has long sides that go past her chin though not to her collar bone, framing her face fairly well. I will say that she has a problem with her bangs, with a fairly large part and a lot of forehead showing. She does have a long “middle” strand that goes past her left eye (occasionally under it, but not all the time). Nobara still has pretty cute bangs. It looks pretty cute, even with the issues. Her hair seems to get longer in youkai/yuki-onna form, but it's hard to tell as she wears a veil over it. I can see that her bangs at least become longer, and it looks like her hair reaches past her hips which is a good power-boost. Sadly her hair is much shorter once she returns, with Nobara having a bob cut instead of her longer hair. I can't say it's due to a hair cut, as it's a different person, but it is still pretty similar. She's still pretty cute as she still has the long middle strand that goes between her eyes, and in yuki-onna form she has a bow instead of her veil. Overall she does pretty well, with some issues when she reincarnates but her base form works really well.
Grade: B

Nobara has fairly pretty eyes. While not as wonderful as Ririchiyo's eyes which are amazing Nobara still looks good. They are a somewhat-light green shade, almost sea green perhaps, which I mention is a little overused with blond hair. Though in the manga, at least judging by the covers, she has bluer eyes. She does have a nice tsurime, which helps (even if it seems a little stronger in the manga). I do like the shape of the characters' eyes in this series as they look very soft. She has a nice thickness to the upper portion of her eyes as well, with a few eyelashes unfortunately but they aren't too noticeable in the series. She also has some on the lower portion of her eyes too.
Of course, we can't talk about Nobara on Meganekko day without mentioning her glasses! Sadly her glasses are somewhat thin, but they still fit her pretty well. I like the added appeal of the nose-holders, even if it isn't too noticeable in the series. The only issue is that when she enters yuki-onna form she loses them, and I'm not sure where they go. I am pretty used to this happening to magical girls, but it's still unfortunate. Overall while her eye color could be better or her frames a little thicker Nobara's eyes look really nice and are one of her greatest assets.
Grade: A-

Like a lot of girls in the series Nobara is very beautiful. She does look a little older, but still has a lot of youthful beauty (obviously I mean her more adult form). She has pale skin, befitting a yuki-onna, and the art style lends itself to small features really well. Nobara has a small nose, usually with it being a dot or so, but do notice that she's the type who gets nosebleeds often due to being a pervert. Speaking of which, Nobara's expressions are really pleasing. This is even when she has to deal with men and she has a great look of disgust on her face, it really gives her a lot of personality. And of course we can't forget her hyper “cuteness” “Maniac” mode when she sees girls she likes, which is quite cute too. Overall with the nice art style and great expressions Nobara does well here.
Grade: B


What's the matter, Nobara? Did I say something wrong?

: I'm pretty sure that Topaz got the eye and hair colors right. He has issues with that some times.

: It's just so BORING to hear about me! I want something more exciting!

Are my blogs really that bland?

: I think that she just wants to play with me. A-alright, but don't do anything too perverse.

: M-MANIAC! How wonderful! Let's begin immediately!

*Nobara pulls out a huge rack of clothes.*

Wait, where were you keeping that?

: Off-screen for just such a situation. Now, how about we get dressed for a little show, Riri?

: A-alright, but I'm picking out the outfits. I don't trust you as you'll probably f-find something skimpy!

: MANIAC! Now we'll know what Ririchiyo's tastes in perversion are!

*Riri is very flustered.*

: I-It's not like that! Now... let's see here...

*The scene changes to panning shots of Ririchiyo in various outfits. The first one is a red Chinese dress, showing off her slender beauty and sexy leg.*

: M-MANIAC! So wonderful, perfect for a slender girl like you as it shows off your curvy hips quite well!

I agree! You look great with your hair up in buns like that! And don't worry as I'm a gentlemanly pervert and won't watch you change.

: T-thanks for that, I think...

*Next panning shot is of Ririchiyo bending over in a red buruma. She's adjusting her ass, with a little bit of her buttcheek peeking out.*

That's it, Riri! Show off your best feature! Well, one out of many as you're perfect in almost every way!

: Eh?! What places aren't I perfect?

: I'm with Riri. She's a great beauty as she's even tugging at her buruma! M-MANIAC!

I think you know...

*The image flips up like a blind, revealing the exact same pose and costume but Riri is wearing her thick glasses.*

There. We can't forget that it's meganekko day!

: I-Idiot... (so this is what Topaz's “perfect” for me is... NO! Don't think naughty things like that!)

: M-MANIAC! You two seem to have a greater idea of what this type of thing is than I expected!

: I'm not sure if that's an insult or not...

Nonsense as I'm at least complimented. It's better than what Nobara thought about me earlier. Though speaking of “Maniac”...

*The next image is of Ririchiyo with pantyhose on, starting at her feet and going up through her office lady-looking suit with short skirt. Her blouse and vest are open slightly, fanning herself with a binder. She's still wearing glasses of course.*

We can't forget about the professional look!

: T-this is getting too perverse! It looks like I'm sweaty!

: How fitting as seeing your beautiful form is making me sweat too! AHH! SO MANIAC! But we can't forget...

*Riri is again bending over, this time with a sailor suit top with a sukumizu bottom. She's even wearing cat ears and tail, showing of her tail in particular as it's squeezed between her buttcheeks, and is still wearing her glasses of course.*

: I saw this in an anime once. It looks perfect on you, Riri!

: This is humiliating! It's as if I lost a bet or something similar!

Now now, you look beautiful! I like how you're squeezing the tail with your ass too! I'm surprised that you positioned it there yourself, as it's not like we were able to touch you.

: Er, (I wanted you to be jealous of it)-I-IT ISN'T IMPORTANT! And that's it, all the pictures I'll allow!

*We return to the “live action” portion, and Riri is shouting at the three people taking pictures with their phones.*

: Stop it, Topaz! And you too Nobara! And... Soushi? You weren't even a part of the blog!

: That may be, but I couldn't resist getting such great shots of the assy blog Ririchiyo-sama. They were quite... inspiring.

*The canon Ririchiyo comes out and pulls him away from the others. By the ear, of course.*

:What did I tell you about bothering the blog Riri?

: I apologize for my actions, but they were here so I figured that I could take a few pictures freely anyway.

:But you have ME! Now, let's go to the bedroom and I'll make sure you forget all about these pictures.

: Yes, Ririchiyo-sama.

*They leave.*

So what do you think about that, Nobara? Enough Maniac fun for your?

: For now, at least. You may continue the blog.

: And I'll get my normal clothes back on. Even if my picture didn't change...

Well, while she's doing that let's keep looking at Nobara!

Nobara is fairly curvy, but has some issues. Sadly I'm not sure if she ever shows off her ass, even in official images, which is a real problem. Especially as it looks like she has somewhat wide hips (at least as an adult, of course). She has a nice waist and curves, and very nice legs as well. It helps that she's 168 cm, at least according to Pixiv and that may be including her heels. Sadly she doesn't have any really memorable moments, which hurts her but I do hope that there's some sort of moment that I've forgotten.
Grade: B-

Nobara also has a lot of issues here. She's the bustiest and oldest of the three main girls, so a lot of fanservice for her is focused on her chest. This is an issue, especially in the anime as she seems to lack moments for the rest of her body (which is a real shame, as the anime does really well with Ririchiyo). She also wears a lot of clothing with cleavage, including her yuki-onna kimono. In general she has a lot of mamocentric issues. That said Nobara returns in a younger form eventually, with a slender body that's even smaller than Ririchiyo's. So at least she doesn't/didn't have issues with an early puberty but the stupid guys act like it's the end of the world (well, two of them at least). They then keep mocking her about her new body, which is also annoying. Overall the anime gives her chest a little too much attention, and even though that's mainly an issue with her adult form she seems to still have stupid people around her as a teen.
Grade: C+

Nobara has a lot of various outfits, though they do cause her to be a little mamocentric which is unfortunate. Her usual outfit is a white shirt with a black vest that shows a lot of cleavage with black pants. I do like the pants as it makes her outfit a little suit-like. Her black bra is visible a lot of the time (though I suppose it may be an undershirt but I doubt it), and on some occasions such as during her ED she wears just the white shirt (meaning a nice moe shirt scene). She also wears a pair of black gloves as well. When in yuki-onna form she wears a white kimono with what seems to be a light blue inside layer with a purple obi, though that also shows off her chest due to her shoulders being exposed. Other outfits include a fancy dress, a purplish night gown, and a blue bikini in official dress. In the manga, as a teen she wears a sailor uniform with a blue collar and flaired skirt that goes past her knees. There's probably others, but I do like Nobara's outfits that I could remember (though I will admit that they are very mamocentric).
Grade: B-

: Heh, it's funny that you mention all the outfits I've worn. Though I suppose that it's time for another photo shoot.

: I agree....

Yes, I think I have an idea what you want.

: Maniac! You two are so much fun to discuss things with. So what are you thinking of wearing, Ririchiyo? Perhaps a nice school uniform that shows off your thighhigh legs, or perhaps another cosplay one. Pant... everything sounds good!

*Nobara looks through the clothing, trying to find more outfits for Riri. However, she doesn't notice the other two creeping up behind her.*

: While those sound good, they aren't what I have in mind.

: Hmmm? Ah, are you finally ready to show off more of that beautiful classical body of yours? Don't worry, as I have plenty of skin showing outfits. AHH~ To see your delicious navel! Or maybe a bodysuit?

That's not what she meant. Instead I think that we'll have another model.

: Oh? Who is the lovely girl?

*Both Riri and Topaz are staring at Nobara.*

: W-wait, you can't be talking about me! I'm too plain and no one could possibly want me!

You need to be more confident in your own body! But I suppose that I shouldn't stare, as that would be rude. Riri, if you don't mind.

: You should be lucky, Nobara. You'll have a lovely girl of my caliber running her fingers all over your body, touching you all over!

: Put that way it sounds wonderful! B-but not like this! AHHH!

*We return to the panning version, with Nobara flustered as she's wearing a zipped-up bodysuit. It's from behind, showing off her mature fat ass but her chest is having trouble fitting in so her cleavage is shown slightly.*

: I-I wasn't thinking that I would have to dress up!

Well, it is your blog. It would feel empty without you participating in the fanservice. And your ass looks great, just like I thought!

: Well, you did want a bodysuit. Even if your tumors can't quite fit inside...

*The next image is Nobara from the front, showing off her breasts in a black skimpy bikini. She's leaning forward and everything, holding up her chest with her arms. She's even wearing thicker glasses.*

: TOPAZ! Stop that! I know that this is your costume!

It's not! I swear! I mean it looks really good so I can see your suspicion, but I wouldn't do that to my friends! Even today on Meganekko Day!

: Ufufu, I chose it instead to get you in trouble. Now your blog will be canceled and I won't be forced to dress up any longer!

If you think that would be enough to get me to quit my blog I would have ended it years ago. Besides, we still have a lot of costumes to go.

: Do your worst!

*The next shot is again from behind, showing off Nobara's mature ass. However, she's trying to hide her bare ass as both it and her back are completely exposed. Her chest and front side is contained in an apron.*

Now THIS is mine! And I knew that your ass would look good once you showed it off!

: You're right. Even I'm a little jealous of how plump and meaty your ass looks. But I suppose that's because you're older than I am...

: H-hey! This outfit was made for Riri, so it doesn't fit me! Though I should be glad that I'm not bursting out more than I am already!

: We're all glad for that, especially the readers.

If the readers want nipples and a big chest they should just click here. NSFW potential, so apologies. Anyway, let's get going to the next costume...

*Nobara looks different this time, much younger. Fortunately this fits her schoolgirl outfit as she's laying back with her arm over her forehead, her legs cutely crossed and wearing thighhighs. Her shirt is slightly raised and she's showing her navel.*

: W-WHAT?! I've shrunk! I have no idea how you were able to do this!

I'm not sure either, but I have to be fair to this form as well. Besides, didn't you think that this sort of outfit looks good?

: Exactly. Besides, like you said it was made for me so seeing it hanging off your even smaller body even if slightly is really cute. Very Maniac.

: D-don't use my catchphrase against me! That's it! If you guys don't stop this instant I'm filling this whole room with ice!

We'd better listen to her. I hate the cold.

: THAT'S the reason you don't want her to impale you with ice?! Well, I suppose that we can be done for now.

*We return to the world of “live action” once again.*

So how did you enjoy that, Nobara?

: Pant... Well, you did show me the appeal of my body. I'll be sure to show off my fat meaty ass more often.

All females should learn that lesson.

: I'm just surprised that you made me lose like seven years. Though the picture didn't change.

MAL didn't have a shot of you in your younger form sadly enough. And I'm too lazy to make one myself.

: I blame MAL's regulations on spoilers keeping that form secret. Then again it's still a mess, even if they've been steadily bringing things back. Boo blogs still being gone though!

I agree! And speaking of the blog, how about we continue?

Nobara has a very great personality as I like her a lot. She's a resident of Ayakashi hall, sent there to protect Renshou. Nobara also has a side business where she resolves other people's supernatural issues as well. As mentioned numerous times she's a yuki-onna meaning she has the ability to freely conjure ice. That said, she'll threaten you with it if you're a guy and you try to get too close. It does mean that Nobara is quite hard-headed when it comes to dealing with men, but I think that's just because she likes girls a lot more. She's very focused and serious with men, often glaring in a way that's tsundere and threatening but also very sexy. She also likes “Maniac” things, but more on that as well as her love of girls in the next area. In general she's a cold on the outside, with a much more friendly attitude with any type of female as she has a very wide strike range. I'll also mention that Youko Hikasa does a great job with Nobara, using her really nice oneesan/TDB-ish voice with the character. She also does a good job with the “roughness” that Nobara has with guys, and in general seems perfect for the role.
Grade: A-

Nobara is the type of girl that's super perverse, which is a great asset. Sadly she mainly aims this libido at females, openly teasing them and saying that she wants to sexually harass them or even wanting to tease their absolute territory. She also enjoys reading gravure magazines and also probably other magazines with cute girls, enjoying the “Maniac” moments and knowing the appeal in certain situations. It's a little hard to understand, as it's like the “moe” term that's hard to define to people who don't watch anime. That said, she seems to be pushed into being paired with Renshou as he's the one that she's paid to protect. He's cool but a little too adult-looking for my tastes. Not that Nobara would want a shota to guard as she loves girls, but I do like the two interacting and their relationship slowly getting stronger. She's also shipped with the maid Chino, but I can't remember if that's just in the anime or not. In addition, later on in the manga she gets forced into a arranged marriage for the sole purpose of getting an heir. That's just in bad taste, at least to my sensibilities, but fortunately she escapes. Overall Nobara is quite perverse and openly so, but she tends to focus on cute girls.
Grade: A-

There are some good things and some bad things about Nobara's age. In the anime, as well as the beginning of the manga, she is about 22 (Pixiv says 21, while Japanese Wikipedia says 22). This is good, as she also gets paired with a 17 year old guy. I enjoy that type of age difference, though the guy does look a bit older than I'd like. The unfortunate part is that when Nobara comes back younger she's only about 15. While worse for various reasons, that's not the most unfortunate part. Due to circumstances the guy instead is 41 or so, making the age difference a bit gross. I much prefer when the older one is female, and especially a male with this much difference is pretty horrible. That said, it isn't too focused on and her original age is pretty good so it helps. In addition Nobara's birthday is January 6th, which needed to be mentioned for trivia's sake.
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 75
Average score: 8.3
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for the week. How did you enjoy it, Nobara?

: Meh, I suppose that it was the best a brute like you could do. I would have much rather have been blogged by a beauty like Ririchiyo here. Especially as she's so talented with the way maniac works now!

: What sort of lessons are you teaching me, Topaz?

*Riri sighs, shaking her head.*

Mostly cultural mentions and other similar things. Especially based on old video games. But I thank you two. Nobara for letting me talk about her, and Riri for convincing her to let me. And obviously for all the beautiful pictures I was able to take, heh heh heh...

: Speaking of that...

*Ririchiyo and Nobara are looming over Topaz, who was looking at his phone. He looks up and sees them holding very feminine clothing.*

: We can't be the only ones that dress up.

Y-you can't possibly want that! Nor do the viewers!

: True, but they'll have to endure it!

: I suppose a cute crossdresser MIGHT be able to become maniac. We'll have to experiment.

NO! No experimentation! You readers! Escape while you can! HURRY! Leave!

*Topaz waves the camera away as Nobara and Riri come towards him. They even start undressing him, starting with his shirt.*

And don't forget, next week is Zettai's blog! Hopefully it'll be better than this one, though since I won't be crossdressing it obviously will be. But quick! Leave and I'll see you there! AHH!
Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 29, 8:18 AM | 0 comments
Anime Relations: Koufuku Graffiti
This is the Five-hundred-and-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are in front of a big fancy-looking building, standing on the sidewalk.*

Welcome back everyone! Glad to see that you've returned after Ayame's blog last week!

: I'm sure that they're just interested in how you're going to follow it up. Hopefully with something good. Though speaking of which, what's that on your arm?!

This? It's a pencil. It's useful for writing down blog ideas.

: Not that. I mean all the bandages and such!

*Topaz shows off his hand, which is covered in bandages. His arm is even in a sling.*

Oh that. That's nothing. I was just... busy this week.

: Busy? With what-Please don't say that you've been... you know... thinking of Ayame from last week.

NO! Jeez, what kind of pervert do you think I am! Believe me, I would admit if I'd been doing something like that. Though I suppose that the readers don't need to see that.

: I'd rather not see it either. So what's going on then?

It's nothing. Just a little soreness from all the writing I've done.

: I see...

Right, as I got spoiled last year where I didn't have to do a bonus blog. Unfortunately this year isn't as safe, so there's going to be a blog tomorrow as well.

: You're really bad at not telling people those things properly. And for doing things at the last minute.

If there's one thing that school helped me with, it's getting things done right before the deadline! Even if my fingers are sore afterward.

*Topaz grasps his hands and loud cracking is heard.*

: Sounds painful, or at least distracting. So who is the girl today?

Well, in honor of it being meganekko week I decided to do someone who is close-OOOMPH!

*A young girl who wasn't paying attention runs past Riri, colliding with Topaz. In harem anime physics style she ends up on top of him, with her ass against his face.*


: H-HEY! What are you doing?! Get off Topaz!

: Sorry about that! I was in a hurry to get to the station!

: Station?

: That's right!

*The young-looking girl shows off her bags, including one that looks like a boned meat.*

: I have to hurry or I'll miss my train to my cousin Ryou's house!

: Well then, don't let us keep you. And please, get up!

: What do you mean?



*The small girl gets up, allowing Topaz to stand himself and brush himself off.*

I mean I am, but that was an accident. I apologize, and I'm Topaz.

: I'm Ririchiyo.

: I see. My name is Kirin, and I have to hurry or else-

Conductor: ALL ABOARD!

*The train starts chugging along, leaving before the young girl could even get a running start. She falls, tripping on her bags and ends up teary but cute.*

: N-noo... I can't believe that I missed my train because you all got in my way!

I deeply apologize!

*Topaz even bows on all fours to show his atonement.*

: We didn't mean to distract you from the train. We were just getting ready for something ourselves.

: I suppose that's understandable. It's not like you would distract me on purpose.

That's right. Though don't worry, as the train will be back in about an hour, and since you didn't pay you'll just get there a little bit later than normal.

: That's all fine and good, but what can I do for an hour?

*Topaz gets up, smiling.*

I know of something!

: Hopefully nothing disgusting...

Well, I can't say that my cooking is good but let's go eat something! I'll help you out as I can barely speak over that growling stomach of yours.

: Was THAT what it was? I thought another train was going by!

: I like Ryou's meals.. But I suppose that I can have something small to tide me over so I don't lose my appetite.

Sounds good to me, especially as that makes it sound like it will be cheap.

: Stop being so worried about your funds, Topaz. No wonder girls don't want to date you. (I-I mean, if you'd ask-AHH! NO! Stop thinking of that!)

: I don't know, cheap can be tasty too. Let's go find something!

Sounds great, and let's find a good place. Any ideas of where to go?

: I don't know. Someplace good, I hope.

: I could go for anything. I'm not really that picky.

Then I know just the place...

*Topaz, Riri, and Kirin then find themselves in a outdoor restaurant called “Idun No”. They are eating their remarkably average-looking food.*

: This is... most certainly food.

I know. They're masters at being mediocre, yet they keep getting business. I suppose it's because people keep suggesting it or something.

: This is filling me up somewhat, but I'll probably be hungry by the time I get to Ryou's. In fact, with how this tastes I'm just looking more and more forward to her meal.

That's true, but I suppose that it's time to discuss our true intentions.

: W-WHA?!

: Don't put it like that! You're scaring the poor girl!

I suppose putting it that way was a bit frightening. But you see, Kirin, I need some help.

: Yeah, I can see. Your hands are so bandaged that you're having trouble eating. Don't worry, as I'll help.

*Kirin puts a bit of Topaz's food on her fork and offers it to him. Her hand is under the fork to pick it up if she drops it.*

: Say AAAAH!

*Kirin continues to go to feed Topaz, and he leans in. However, Ririchiyo appears from across the table (by leaning against it) and steals the fork-full.*

: HEY! That was for Topaz!

: T-Too bad!

*She then moves over to Topaz's chair, sitting on his lap with her fat spats-wearing ass.*

: If you need to be fed that badly I'll do it!

*Riri puts food on her fork and brings it to Topaz's mouth.*

R-really, this wasn't my intention-

: So this food isn't good enough? Go on, eat it!

*She pushes her fork against Topaz's mouth, and he eats the food. He even swallows.*

That was tasty, but not what I meant. I wanted Kirin to be the blog for today!

: O-oh. Oh yeah, that would make a lot more sense...

: A blog? Like a food blog?

Sorta, only I talk about girls instead.

: W-wait, you want to talk about ME? Aren't there better girls that you can do?

Nonsense. You're a great girl!

*Kirin blushes from Topaz's words. However, they anger Riri and she slams her ass against his crotch.*

AHH! You're cute and sexy too, Ririchiyo.


But I've already talked about you. Instead let's look at Kirin, at least if you'll let me.

: Well, you did treat me to this meal...

: Great. Now Topaz is bribing girls with food.

Hey now. I was going to mention it before we got here. Besides, Kirin still has a lot of time remaining before the next train comes.

: That too. But don't worry, as I'll allow you to discuss me!

Glad to hear that, as I probably couldn't find a girl in time. But don't think that means that this blog is forced, no. I really enjoyed the character and we'll see why when I say that...

Today's girl is:


Kirin Morino
Koufuku Graffiti

: So we're looking at a Graffiti Giraffe.

: Hey now! Don't make fun of my name like that!

She's not making an insult, it's just a wordplay joke about the name “Kirin”. I blame my bad writing leading to poor jokes like that.

: So you won't be making fun of me?

I hope not, at least not on purpose. So let's get started!

Kirin has some very cute hair. The only issue is that her hair is pretty short, not even reaching her shoulders. That said, I do like how blunt Kirin's hair is in both her bangs and the back. Even with her side twintails it stays about the same length, which seems unrealistic but I don't mind too much overall. I really do enjoy how blunt her bangs are, though her sides are short so it's not a complete hime cut (not as short as her bangs, they're visibly longer). The back could really be longer, though. She also has a pretty big ahoge on the top of her head, well not that it's thick but rather it's long and noticeable. Finally, we can't forget that Kirin has such a lovely shade of purple hair. Her hair color looks very beautiful and shiny, fitting the art style really well. As mentioned it's mainly how short Kirin's hair is that's holding her back, a shame as it looks really beautiful otherwise!
Grade: A-

Kirin also has very beautiful eyes. While not as purple as her hair, it's a lovely color which I'd say was between blue and purple. The anime makes it clear that her eyes should be blue, but the artist's images are harder to tell. Either way Kirin's eyes go very nicely with her purple hair, with a nice fitting similar feeling between the two. As for eye shape goes her eyes look a little rounded but to me at least it looks like she has a slight gentle tsurime. It's hard to tell, though. The corners of her eyes, which seem to have one lash, are pretty emphasized which I like and find really pretty. Sadly Kirin doesn't wear glasses, and the only time close moment is a slight gag where she wears sunglasses (well, at least as far as I remember and the manga may be better). Still, Kirin has pretty eyes which makes sense as SHAFT tends to do good here.
Grade: B

Another area SHAFT shows tend to do well is here, and Kirin is no different. The anime's art style is very light and fluffy, giving Kirin a lovely soft and puni-looking face which I like quite a bit. She has a small nose, usually no bigger than a dot. Kirin has a nice facial structure too, with soft-looking cheeks and a great look to her. She also has really great and adorable faces when eating. This may not have started the “foodgasm” type of anime, but it is the first of its kind that I watched. It was really cute to see her enjoy eating so much. That said, Kirin is always really cute and not just while eating. She may not have any big moment to mention, but she does extremely well here. Just look at some of these images and see for yourself:
Grade: A

Sadly Kirin suffers quite a bit here. Koufuku Graffiti isn't exactly a fanservice series, so she doesn't get a lot of moments to show off, a shame as she has a cute loli-like body. Shame she doesn't enjoy it though, as she should be proud of it instead! Kirin is quite short, with the Japanese Wikipedia saying that she's 142 cm and weighs 34 kg (in comparison, Ryou the other lead is 160 cm and weighs 51 kg). This means that Kirin is short enough to be confused as an elementary student. It's a shame as again she looks really cute! Though sexually it's another story, as Kirin doesn't show off too much. She does show her stomach nicely in official art, and also has fair legs and some asscurve but nothing too major. A shame as she could have really used more sexy fanservice, as even when the two taller girls (Ryou and Shiina) have an image showing off their feet in a dominant manner Kirin is way back not doing it with them! I will say that it's impressive how strong Kirin is, though I suppose that's why she eats so much. She even carries charcoal that people have estimated to weigh almost twice her weight! Though that may just be due to anime logic and not her personal strength, but she is still pretty athletic which works well for my tastes.
Grade: B-

As a loli it makes sense that Kirin is fairly flat-chested. She looks pretty good though as her chest fits with her body type and it looks good. There's a slight amount of showing in the bath scene, but other than that there's not much to talk about (the scene is censored, if curious). The main problem is, as with the last area, Kirin isn't exactly proud of being flat. She even fondles Ryou's chest in the same episode! Luckily that's about the only time that I could remember Kirin being jealous, so otherwise she scores pretty well here.
Grade: B-

Kirin has many outfits, and with most of them the casual type that I don't usually keep track of it's hard to remember them all. Surprisingly she doesn't wear her school uniform too much, but it's a blue sailor uniform with white collar and scarf. She also wears shorts under her skirt, which is the same color as the top. Other outfits that Kirin has worn include green pajamas, a plaid heavy shirt, a shirt with yellow short sleeves, a towel after a bath, a blue plaid shirt with yellow apron, and a poofy comfy winter coat with scarf. She also has a nice shot of her spinning in a sukumizu with a donut inner tube. Overall a lot of cute outfits, and Kirin really does well with cute clothes. I don't know if this should count here, but I'll mention it anyway; one of Kirin's bags is quite famous as it has the appearance of the “manga meat”-type of food (that is, the type of meat that's perfectly round and cylindrical around a bone). It's a cute bag and fits her big eater personality. Overall she could have used some more memorable or sexy outfits, but Kirin does pretty well here.
Grade: B+

Kirin is a great girl, changing the life of Ryou quite a bit. She comes to Ryou's house once a week to go to a class and stays overnight, meaning Ryou would cook for her. Kirin loves her meals, especially as her parents serve her a produce-rich diet because even back in '15 people knew vegans were villains. Jokes aside Kirin likes most types of food and is a big eater, with Ryou considering their first meal together to seem like a competitive eating contest due to how much she has to cook. That said Kirin does learn her lesson and starts helping Ryou out, even making food herself later in the series once she learns how special cooking for another can be. The two have a very tight bond, and I like their dynamic together. Food aside Kirin is an energetic girl but in the good way, where she isn't annoying and is really cute. Her small size does give her a complex, especially with adults as she gets very shy around people she doesn't know. She cowers behind Ryou or some other people she knows well in that sort of situation, looking very cute and I can relate to that type of feeling as well. Kirin is voiced by Asuka Oogame who gives her a very cute voice befitting her cute appearance. She's probably best known (at least by me) as Erio from Denpa Onna, though she also did Akane's imouto Momo from Vividred. Overall while there's a lot of good things Kirin doesn't “wow” me as much as some other characters (from other series, I mean). Still, she was very cute and an enjoyable part of this show.
Grade: B

It's fairly obvious who Kirin is shipped with most of the time. It's her second cousin Ryou that she starts hanging around and helps through her difficult moments. The two leads have a lot of chemistry together, and Kirin loves eating the food that Ryou makes for her. The two have great times together and eventually Kirin even moves in as she starts going to the same high school. Kirin is also fairly jealous of Ryou whenever she gets attention from other girls, likely butting into the conversation and talking up her own relationship with Ryou. I can't be sure if there's more in the manga or not, but I still like this cute yuri synergistic pairing. Ryou likes cooking, and Kirin likes eating which seems like the perfect relationship xD.
Grade: B-

I'm not sure exactly how old Kirin is. She's about the same age as Ryou, the other lead, though for some reason I wrote “thought she was a year older” in my notes. Whether that's a personal opinion or if that was said in the show I can't quite remember any more. Still, she is quite a bit shorter than Ryou and looks younger. But that's still not bad as she's still a high school girl, which is quite nice.
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 74
Average score: 8.2
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for the week. What did you think about that?

*Kirin ordered extra and has a mouthful cutely. She blushes and swallows, also cutely.*

: Sorry, I was getting hungrier. I did enjoy it a lot though, as it looks like you gave me a lot of points!

: Pretty much a good amount, yes. At least better than last week's, but that should be obvious.

Of course. And I'm glad that you enjoyed the blog. But now that we're done we should leave the restaurant.

: But I'm still on the third course!

: Out of how many?!

: Enough!

But if you eat too much you'll stuff yourself for your trip and miss the train again!

: W-WHAT?! Is it that late already? It is! I really need to go! Thank you for talking about me. I'm sure that Ryou will be proud of you.

Maybe someday I'll talk about her. Maybe.

: Topaz has a lot of girls to discuss. He'll likely never run out.

I'm not complaining that they keep making more. It's the ultimate renewable resource!

: I'm glad that you enjoy your blogs so much. But for now I have to say good-bye. Thanks for the lovely hour!

Glad we could help!

*With that Kirin hops away happily and cutely. Topaz and Riri also get up.*

Well, I think that we should get going too!

: Right. We have another blog location to get to!

???: Ahem...

*The waiter taps on Topaz's shoulder.*

Waiter: Do you think that you're skipping out on the bill?

…Oh yeah, we should do that. Hey, do you have any money on you?

: No, as I don't have my purse.

Uh oh... I wasn't expecting that Kirin would eat this much...

Waiter: Then you two will have to wash dishes until you paid off your meal!

: Isn't this a little bit tropy?

Waiter: I could call the police and have you arrested.

Uh, dishes will be fine. Even if my fingers will likely ache even more after that.

*Topaz and Riri do the dishes. They then leave the restaurant.*

That was harder work than I expected.

: I don't see why I had to do it as well, you're the one without money!

I just hope that Kirin got to Ryou's safely.

*To the audience, she certainly did and Kirin ate a delicious foodgasming meal made by her friend. It was far better than the meal Topaz got her. Meanwhile Topaz and Riri go back across the street to the fancy looking-house.*

: So we're back here, then?

That's right. Because we have a blog tomorrow instead where we'll look at the girl I “planned” to discuss today!

: Don't lie like that. I know you plan all these out. Or at least mostly...

Shhh, don't expose the meta. Anyway, do you know who the girl coming up is?

: Yes.


: Wait, what? I'm confused. You asked if I wanted to know who the girl coming up was.

No, I asked if you DID know her.

: Of course not! You haven't even given a hint!

But you do know her, Riri. She's a meganekko you know quite dearly...

: What do you mean? I don't know who you're talking about and I'm just getting more confused as you “explain” it.

No need to give me a COLD SHOULDER, Riri. I'm sure that you know the very “Maniac” we'll be talking about.

*Ririchiyo's eyes widen and she shakes her head.*

: N-no... We can't be talking about HER!

Why not? She fits the criteria well, and I haven't done her.

: But she'll be teasing me the whole time!

Don't worry, I'll protect you! With my body if needed!

: Somehow I doubt that will help much... *sigh* Well, I'm sure that you readers are looking forward to tomorrow's blog, so hopefully you enjoy my suffering...

Now to get started writing!

: You're such a person who waits until the deadlines, aren't you...

*Riri shakes her head as the blog ends. Taberu and all that.*
Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 29, 8:15 AM | 0 comments
This is the Five-hundred-and-fourth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz lets out a large sigh.*

Welcome back everyone...

: Try to sound a little more energetic, Topaz.

I would like to, but have you seen the girl we're talking about this week?

: Oh ho ho! I am surprised to see you dislike me so much. After all, you seem to be the type of person who seems to love big breasts.

I am, but those barely count as “breasts”. It's always a shame when a girl decides to alter themselves and in such a detrimental way.

: Detrimental? Nonsense! I'm far superior to those three girls you talked about. Just look at how big and massive my chest is!

: We're middle school girls, it would be disgusting if we had chests that big!

: And we wouldn't even want them. All they would do is hurt our backs, especially with all the dancing and Aikatsu we do!

: Like Zettai needs more reasons to dislike me as well.

: You're all just jealous, oh ho ho! Just look at the audience, the SMART men in it can't take their eyes off my massive girth! It makes me feel a little self-conscious.

: They're probably watching to make sure that those zeppelins of those don't float away.

Or maybe they'll pop and she'll fly around like a balloon. Like BOOM-thhhhhhh...

*Topaz points his finger as if following a balloon that's losing air and flying around. Ayame stomps her foot.*

: Quit mocking me! I am a worthy villain!

: Not really. We've seen FAR stronger girls than you. What, are you going to smack Topaz in the face with those disgusting silicone bags? Wait, scratch that. That could actually hurt, which explains why mamocentric idiots are so stupid.

: So in other words they have brain damage and have become re-


*Topaz waves his hands and covers Akari's mouth*

You can't say that in this blog.

*He removes his hand.*

: Really? That's a forbidden word?

: Topaz grew up next to a family with a mentally-challenged daughter. As a result he was raised to not use that word lightly.

Sorta like how I don't swear too much. Just how I was raised.

: I was wondering that... But don't worry as I'm sure your friends still love you!

I'm sure that they do. But sadly that means that I can't curse out Ayame like she deserves.

: I do NOT deserve to be cursed out! I didn't do that much that deserves it, not at least compared to numerous other girls!

I suppose that is fair. And I'll take that into consideration when I say that...

: Man that name is still outlandishly long. Must be a light novel.

I don't think that you should be able to call it a “light novel” when the title must weigh like 10 kg just by itself.

: Enough of this terrible banter!

But the longer we're able to banter the less I'll have to focus on you!

: But you're just delaying the blog in that case. You'll have to talk about Ayame eventually.

Do I? Well, I do suppose that we've come this far. Might as well start.


*Topaz, Riri, and the idols turn to Ayame.*

: Don't think that this will be just a simple “do her blog and she'll leave”. I still have to challenge you, or I'll never be able to face Razonde again!

: Ah, Iria is up to her old tricks again?

I guess fake-boobed blondes stick together. Hopefully not literally. And it's not that we'd want you to meet her again, but what challenge are you proposing?

: Is it not obvious? It is the one thing that I'm good at: Insult competition!

: Are you sure you'll be good at that? You got pretty desperate in the show.

: That was years ago and I trained well for this! And besides, all I have to do is make your innocent idols over there cry and run off. Should be fairly simple!

: Wait, we're participating? I don't want to be wrapped up in this dumb event now that it's ruined with another horrible girl.

: Like we needed another after Yume came. At least she makes a little bit more sense being here.

: I know, Yume is so annoying and-WAIT A SECOND!

*Yume blushes like a tomato.*

: It seems like your girls are forfeiting already. Oh ho ho. It seems that I'm too much!

To be fair I don't see how an insult battle is something that will be that interesting. We really don't have much reason to try hard.

: Right, as it's not like Topaz is going to wager his blog on something dumb.

: Oh? But what if I sweeten the deal?

*Ayame places a bottle of lotion on a nearby piece of furniture. It has the words “Paizuri lotion” on it.*


: This sounds idiotic...

: What's a “Paizuri”?

: Nothing you need to learn about.

: That's right, Topaz. You'll get this bottle plus a special treat...

You don't need to go any further.

: Right. No one wants horrible fanservice from a faker like you.

: Harumph! Fine then! I'll go tell Specs that you gave up the blog finally. Then we'll never have to handle this again!

I'll never give up the blog!

: Topaz! Reconsider this! That sort of fanservice isn't worth it!

Forget about her offer, I'm not giving up the blog that easily! Not when I can fight and still save it!

: OH HO HO! Pigs like you are so easily manipulated!

But don't think that I've forgotten about the blog either, so let's get that started!

Ayame does pretty well here, as she has a suitably unique hairstyle. She's blonde, which while somewhat common is a little more understandable with ojous like she's trying to be. She even has the drill motif that fits with being an ojou as well. Instead of having drill sides though, she has a set of triple-curled twintails. That means that she has two sets of three curls from the side to the back and it fits her pretty well. They do only reach her shoulders, but considering how tight they're wound it's possible that if she let her hair down it might reach her mid-back. Ayame also has blunt bangs, though with a gap above her right eye and a slight curve upward over the left (though that's mostly noticeable in the anime). Her sides are long too, reaching about to her chest and having a good amount of volume to them. Occasionally Ayame wears a red small hat which is kinda cute, though I'm always weirded out by hats that remain tilted to one side on a person's head. Overall it's fairly cute and fits Ayame's look of being an ojou with the ringlet blond hair.
Grade: B

Ayame has pretty good eyes as well. She has a really sexy tsurime, with a nice rounded downward slope and even with some eyelashes to emphasize it. Not enough to notice in the show, but they are there and look good. Her eyes are also a pretty gold color, sorta matching her hair but not quite. I'd still give it to Ayame though, as I do find her eyes nice. Her pupils are shaped nicely and also have a pretty shine to them, though I think that's mainly the art style doing a lot of heavy lifting. Sadly Ayame does not wear glasses, not even in the ED where the silver-haired student council president Seira does. Overall I do find Ayame's eyes pretty, but not enough to really stand out too much either.
Grade: B-

As said in “Eyes” the art style for Noucome does a lot of heavy lifting in these areas. Case in point is here, likely Ayame's best area. She has a pretty simplistic face, but I do really enjoy that type of look. Her small dot nose also works well, and she has a cute blush on some occasions as well. Her head is shaped like an acorn, which fits surprisingly well with her hair and eyes. Overall the art style does well, so it's a shame about what's coming up.
Grade: A-

: OH HO HO! It sounds like Topaz really does enjoy my company! Look at that high score so far!

This is just the beginning, so you shouldn't act so proud. We still have a lot to go, including the worst portions. There's a reason I don't tally the score until after the final total has been calculated. Scores can ebb and flow at any point.

: Much like my beautiful breasts. Oh ho ho!


*The ribbon idol stands up to Ayame.*

: First you try to interrupt our acts with your antics and crazy schemes. Then you come on stage and proclaim your superiority over us. And now you think that any of Topaz's readers, including Topaz himself, is interested in those imitations you keep flaunting!

: Oh? But an imitation can be just as good as the real- I mean, THEY AREN'T FAKE!

: We've already revealed that they are, so what are you going to do about it?

: Grrr, thems fighting words!

: Thems?

: That they are!

: Looks like the insult battle is going to start sooner than I expected. Not that I mind, I'll easily trounce you feeble idols. OH HO HO!

*Ayame does an ojou laugh pose, as she's done before but this commentary has neglected to mention.*

: So what is this insult battle about? We just mock the other one to submission, or is there a point system?

: OH ho! You're such a fool that you can't even remember the rules I set earlier!

Being fair I wasn't paying attention either.

*Riri smacks Topaz.*

Not for that reason!

: Sureee.... But either way at least pay attention to what you write.

: That doesn't seem like much of an insult.

*Ichigo gets a determined grin.*

: The bigger insult is situated on that chest of yours!

: Oh? I don't think so. My lovely chest has inspired many fanartists, unlike a BONY USELESS TEEN like you!

: I may be flat, but at least I didn't mutilate myself to look so nasty!

: Nasty? Oh no, you're the “nasty” one. Oh wait, I believe that I got you confused for your GASSY FAT ASS MOTHER!

: You leave my mother out of this!

No, “your mother” jokes sound pretty par for the course.

: What, did you grow up in the 90s or something? Are you going to make an overused “NOT!” joke next?

Of course not, I'm not THAT shallow... today.

*Ririchiyo sighs.*

: Get back to the contest. I believe that you're up, Ichigo.

: That's right, and I should further mock your disgusting fake breasts that no man should feel attracted to! You're sick!

: OH HO! How pathetic to mock my chest yet again. Do I detect a hint of jealousy?

: What did you say!

*Ichigo gets so angry that Yume and Akari have to hold her back.*

: No, let Ichigo punch her. It'll be entertaining.

: Go right ahead. That would make Topaz's side forfeit and he'll never be able to blog again!

: It's not worth it, Ichigo! Topaz wants to keep blogging so stay within the rules!

: I can understand wanting to use her useless flab as a speed bag, but resist that urge!

: That's right, resist the urge like Topaz is. Then you'll win and he'll be subjected to the paizuri of his dreams!

If you think that my dreams involve taking a ride down silicon valley, you're wrong. Ichigo, defeat her with the roughest burns yet!

: They're right. I have the mind to destroy you! You'll submit to my insults in no time!

: You're right.

: Eh?

: Of course I'll submit to YOU, Ichigo. You're the lead heroine and EVERYTHING has to revolve around you. Even your FRIENDS get stepped on as you head to the top. Especially that one, who was it, Ran? I bet you LOVED pushing her to the side like the useless model that she is!

: R-RAN IS MY FRIEND! I'd never purposely try to take roles away from her! It's just that they had bad writers at one point! I'm sure you know a thing or two about that!

: Nonsense. My role was just a side one, so I didn't take screentime from others. And I certainly didn't steal victories like YOU did.

: Well... er... Y-your breasts take your screentime! With ugly disgusting jokes!

: Still on my breasts? Not that I'm surprised that you're SO JEALOUS, OH HO HO! But there's nothing wrong with MY show. It scores even higher than YOURS!

: Nonsense! Let me look it up...

*Ichigo looks up the scores on her phone, getting shocked as she looks at the two series. Noucome at the time of this writing has a score of 7.45 while Aikatsu has a score of 7.43.*

: I-I don't believe it...

: HEY! I was in that series too!

: At least my show is higher, with a score of 7.77. How lucky!

*Ichigo glares at Yume.*

: If looks could kill. But why are MAL scores always so AWFUL Topaz? I mean, Ayame is from a TERRIBLE series that only has ten episodes, which is the biggest sign that a show is going to suck! Like with Triage X, Maken-ki S2, and probably many others!

For the same reason SekaTsuyo has such a low score. It's because people who need to watch the shows ignore them due to horrible and inaccurate reviews being posted, and people in general are idiots. Sometimes I wonder if monkeys are trained to hit scores randomly.

: No wonder One Piece does so well, it has a Monkey lead!

Precisely. Plus there's a lot of horrible trolls in among the stupid populace. It's one reason I take things like reviews or total scores with a grain of salt. I like what I enjoy, and other peoples opinions really won't bother me too much.

: Enough of your blathering about things that don't matter!

We were having a civilized conversation. It's not like we were discussing you or anything.

: Burn! Though speaking of which what happened to Ichigo?

*Ayame points to Ichigo, who is in a fetal position all white.*

: M-maybe it was all my fault that my show sucked... Maybe I should have treated Ran and the others better. Maybe I should have done everything differently...

Oh no! She's in a spiral!

: I'll help her out! Come here, Ichigo!

*Akari pulls Ichigo backstage.*

: OH HO! It looks like it's my win. But do not worry, as I am gracious enough to give you two additional tries to out-insult me. Not that it will help, OH HO HO!

: I-I'll try my best, for my senpais!

That's the spirit! But first, let us continue with the blog.

Putting the obvious issue aside, Ayame has a pretty alright body. I was surprised as well, as you can understand. She does have the skin-shine look all over, which some people might not like but I somewhat enjoy as it gives the character a bit of softness to their skin. Ayame is pretty slim, though that also goes to her fairly straight-shaped legs. Her waist is pretty nice though, and her navel looks good. She doesn't get a really good shot of her ass, though it is shown on occasion (though very quick occasions...). She also gets a close shot of her crotch while in a bikini, but that isn't something that I'm into. As far as measurements, I'm not sure if she has any. MAL says that her height is 159 cm and she's 50 kg, but that sounds like something completely made up. Overall, she's very meh here and not just because of the upcoming area either. She needed a lot more focus on her better assets.
Grade: C+

Ayame has very large breasts, but the catch is that she had breast implants. Because that's totally a great thing to base not only a character but a majority of her jokes and scenes on. She's outlandishly mamocentric as a result, often bouncing around in a senseless and noisy fashion. Which doesn't even make sense as apparently breast implants don't actually bounce around, not that I know but still. It gets to the point where her entire character seems to revolve around her chest. She also gets horrible and obnoxious praise from the other characters, made worse due to a majority of them being female. Granted most don't know her silicon secret, but still they really shouldn't be jealous of Ayame. Some terrible examples of scenes include Ayame not only stripping but snapping her bra at one point, and another scene of her giving a fauxzuri from a water gun. The latter scene is especially painful as people worked hard to edit into actual paizuri in fanart, a wasted effort by human garbage I suspect. But yeah, Ayame is AWFUL in this area. It gets so bad that about the time when she stops being popular they have to force in yet ANOTHER cow whose only joke seems to be having natural breasts to compare with Ayame. Not that I know for sure how important she is, as the translators of the light novels likely slit their wrists after the third book and never returned, but when a character's name is “Busty McBigBreasts” I don't have a lot of confidence...

: HEY! Her name is not “Busty McBigBreasts”! That sounds like the stupidest name ever!

Well then, what IS her name?

: … Chichiru Nyuumiruku.

So in other words “Boobs New Milk”. Right. I rest my case. Anyway, long story short is that Ayame is basically nothing more than a walking mamocentric unjoke that was never funny.
Grade: D

Ayame doesn't really have much of a wardrobe. She is usually wearing the school uniform, or at least a modified version of it. Her uniform consists of a red blazer with frilled collar and a white ruffled shirt underneath, gray pleated skirt with a white stripe, and white thighhighs with garters. It would look pretty nice, if having it buttoned up didn't make Ayame look so mamocentric (like she really needs it, after all). Underneath she also wears a red bra with a frilly top. Some other clothes include gym clothes with a blue buruma, a tight blue one piece swimsuit, and a white frilled thong bikini. In the Opening she wears a black sorta-sling swimsuit, and in the ED she wears a black suit though with a bow tie rather than a neck tie like the other girls. Other outfits from the light novels include a more causal outfit and a sports jersey with a number 4 on it. Overall Ayame's wardrobe is incredibly mamocentric, which I suppose is to be expected but it's still a terrible thing as a lot of her outfits would otherwise be nice!
Grade: B-

: Grrr, now I see where you think my worst character traits are!

: Just now? Topaz and the rest of us have been mocking you since you appeared!

Now now, don't mock Ayame just because she's slow to pick things up. Must be because she can't find it once she bends over.

: You'll pay for that! And by that I mean YOU!

: M-ME!

*Yume is flustered when Ayame points to her.*

: Don't act all innocent over there. I know that you're plotting something!

: You're likely overestimating Yume...

: Nonsense! Or are you just going to fall over and let me take this win? I DOUBT that anything you can do can EVER insult me!

: I-I have to try my best! You'll never know what hit you!

: Well then, try your best you boiled octopus!

: O-Only certain people can call me that! Like the narrator!

Sounds like my imprint ability extends to the narrator on occasions.

: B-besides, you're a fish too! A big gross b-boobie!

: A boobie is a bird, not a fish. OH HO HO! What sort of school are you going to?

: An idol one...

: How pathetic! Much like your series! I know I mocked Ichigo about HER show-stealing talent but WOW! You're MUCH worse than she ever was. Stealing roles, screentime, pushing your so-called friends to the side. The only way that you could be worse is if you were ANOTHER character from your show! That's how AWFUL it is!

: Y-your show is terrible too! Not that I've seen it...

: Trust me, nothing of value was lost.

Yeah, but it's hurting Yume's ability to insult Ayame!

: Maybe we shouldn't have agreed to do this with these girls. They're too nice and friendly to get anywhere!

: Um... er... b-boobs!

: “Boobs”? That's your great insult? How laughable-OH HO HO! But then I can't expect too much, what with your school going under and you not being able to tap into your special power. Why don't you just die and give Rola, the one who deserves FAR MORE, a chance to get everything she's wished for.

: I... er... um...

You know, as awful as Ayame is-and she really IS awful-I have to agree. Not with the point of Yume dying, just that Rola deserves more love.

: Yes yes. And Ako as well!

: B-but that's not my fault! They got rid of drama performances and... and...

*Yume starts tearing up and runs backstage.*

: Oh ho ho. Another idol down. And now you just have one remaining...

That's right! But I'm sure that she'll defeat you! But first, let's conclude this blog...

There isn't too much to say here. We've already mentioned Ayame's horrible fake breasts unjoke, which makes up the majority of her screentime. That said it's all because of her childhood friend. That's also the reason that Ayame became a tsundere and dominant ojou. She's haughty and dominant like an ojou should be, which would be nice on another character that didn't have two massive screen hogs attached to her torso. It's a shame that this personality is likely as fake as the things hanging off her chest that she claims are boobs. She's very popular, both in series as she's one of the “Popular Five” which is a terrible plot idea, and out of the series she's held as one of the most famous and popular girls in the series. It's really unfortunate that Noucome has pretty much devolved to “that one anime with the girl with fake breasts”, yet people constantly mention how funny it is. It's not, and I even understand that humor can be subjective but the series is really lazy with “jokes”. Basically it's nothing more than references and pointing them out, or maybe reusing the same tired tropes that have already been used hundreds of time and turning that into a running gag. Ayame is a causality of the series in that her personality (if she even had one to begin with) basically became a walking boob unjoke. Breasts cannot make a character nor a personality, and that ends up being what she is mostly known for. A shame, as if she had kept being a proud ojou with a touch of dominance she could have done better. I just wonder if the light novels resolved her issue, or if the unjoke became boring and she never appeared again after a certain point I will mention that Rei Matsuzaki did a good job giving her a dominant voice, so it's a shame that her hard work is wasted on such a terrible girl. Her most well-known role is probably Kirari the tall Cinderella Girls idol. Overall she might have had a better chance, but sadly her screentime and eventually character is nothing more than a joke that wasn't funny in the first place.
Grade: C

As mentioned earlier Ayame has a childhood friend, but he sounds extremely stupid so let's not count him. Ayame is probably known as a dominant woman, treating men as pigs in bondage gear and even sitting on their backs. This might be sexy, but I'd much prefer to know that I'm the only one in a woman's heart and not just used as a disposable pawn. Ayame does get embarrassed when the lead tries to get her to say she likes him, so there might be a bit of harem inclusion but considering that I have no idea what happens to her I doubt that she makes it far. She is also rivals with the token imouto character Yuragi. Not that she's anyone's actual little sister or anything, just that she likes considering herself everyone's imouto.
Grade: C

Not much is known about Ayame's age. She's somewhere in high school (which really makes her issues more unhealthy), so she gets about the average age for that. A shame as she could have done a bit better had they mentioned if she was an upperclassman/senpai to the lead but I can't remember if they had or not.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 58
Average score: 6.4
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: Finally!

: I-I don't believe it! How could these useless and bony middle school girls manage to beat me! Even the awful one!

: Quiet! I know I'm terrible, but at least I still did better than you!

: That's just because Topaz is being unfair to me. He knows that admiring my superior body would get him in trouble with his friends, which is the only reason I did so poorly. OH HO HO! How sporting of him, to give flat characters like YOU a bit more advantage!

: The one who is truly flat here is YOU, Ayame. The three idols have far more depth than just one dumb joke. Even Yume has trials she has to go through!

That's right. Even if she's over-favored at least she has some sort of personality!

: GRRR! How dare you mock me with those words! You will rue the day that you embarrassed me in front of the crowd-wait, where is everyone?

*Ayame points to the crowd but everyone seems to have gone home.*

When did this happen?

*Ichigo and Akari step up.*

: After I helped cheer Ichigo up we decided to get the area cleared out. It's not like there was much of a show left.

: That's right. We've already performed and there's nothing on stage but an over-inflated ojou who thinks way too much of herself.

: Nonsense! I still need viewers to watch me defeat the final girl!

: Yeah, about that. This is idiotic and I really don't want to spend any more time with you. As a result the other idols and I are going to leave.

: Even me?

: Of course! Maybe we'll meet up with Aine and have a leads party. Well, I suppose that Mio can join too as I need to start being more fair.

: OH HO HO! It seems that your idol company are so inferior that the last one is forfeiting! How pathetic!

: I was raised that, if I can't say something nice it's better to say nothing at all.

*Akari gets in Ayame's face, glaring intensely.*

: And, as such, I have nothing more to say to the likes of YOU.

*She turns to Topaz and Ririchiyo.*

: I apologize to you two, but we'd rather not stay any longer than we have to.

: Both Topaz and I completely understand.

But if you do that we'll lose the insult contest and I'll have to give up blogging forever!

: That doesn't sound as bad as it could be.

I refuse to give up right before meganekko day! Well, not RIGHT before, but I want to at least beat Ayame!

: Like a piñata, only instead of candy it's things that you really shouldn't eat.

So how can we win?

: Is it not obvious? I may not be able to insult Ayame properly, but there's someone close to you that can. Someone with a sharp tongue that's not afraid of speaking the truth, especially if it leads to insults.

: Hmm, who could such a mean-spirited girl be?

I think I have a clue...

*Topaz pushes Riri forward, towards Ayame.*

: HEY! (I-is this really what Topaz thinks of me?)

You're the only girl close to me like they say. I'd say that you're closer to me than anyone else. Hmmm? You seem to be overheating.

*Ririchiyo is blushing.*

: T-that's just a trick of the lights. I'm not excited by your words or anything...

Anyway, we'll be seeing you three later perhaps!

*Topaz and Riri wave to the three idols as they leave.*

: Harumph. So Akari chose you for a replacement. I don't see why, as you're as you're as flat and useless as they are! OH HO HO!

*Riri glares at Ayame.*

: Oh? We're the useless ones? I believe that you're the useless one, getting your body altered in such a sick and toxic way.

: T-they're not fake! Harumph, seems that someone here has nothing but sour grapes. Oh ho ho!

: *Smirks* Better to have a small pair of “grapes” like mine that are all natural than a pair of WAX FRUIT like you. Though at least with wax we could light you up like a candle and it would serve SOME purpose.

: My chest is not for lighting purposes!

: Not for FIGHTING purposes either, judging by how terrible that fight you had with water guns was. Then again I suppose that you had a handicap. Just look at those useless weights dragging you down!

: Stop making fun of my chest!

: Why not? You're the one who doesn't stop flaunting it. Maybe someone should just come along and CHOP THEM OFF! Then you might be a decent human being, though that's just one change out of many that you'd have to do.

: I-I'm decent!

: Yeah right. You're a show hog, even if you're not introduced halfway through the short series. It's fortunate that the show was only ten episodes long, as that's about ten too many than it actually deserved! Not that ten isn't the perfect size, as like I said earlier that number of episodes seem to attract terrible “comedies” and “fanservice” shows that should never have existed. Face it, Ayame. You're as superfluous as those DISGUSTING BLOBS OF USELESS CHEMICALS in your chest!

*Ayame falls to the floor, sobbing.*

: Y-you're right. I tried to hide behind my pride and chest far too much, and it cost me a great amount of self respect and dignity. And for what, to pander to idiots for no good reason? I wish I was never in such a terrible show that forced me into such a terrible role... sniff...

: I-I didn't mean for you to cry like this.

I'm sure that she understands, Riri. How about we leave her alone for now. At least for now my blog is safe.

*Topaz and Riri walk backstage, leaving Ayame behind as they continue to talk.*

: That's true. So how about we start talking about who to do next.

Don't worry, I have a lot of plans! Well, at least for certain weeks.

: This is going to be one of your filler plots, isn't it?

Hopefully not a long one. But I can't plan ahead completely. These things happen.

: Hopefully you at least have plans for Meganekko day and Zettai's birthday.

I certainly do-wait, that's next week already, isn't it. Man, this year has gone by so fast. And by that I mean meganekko day week, Zettai's birthday will come afterward.

: But since Meganekko day is on Friday who will you be looking at on Thursday?

Let's just say that she has a nice meat bag that I envy...

: Topaz....


: You just went over Ayame, and now you're going to talk about another girl with “meatbags”-

No no, singular. Just one meat bag. The rest of her luggage is fine.

: I'm confused...

Will it help if I say that she's from a SHAFT show?

: That could be a lot of shows...

Well then, I guess that you'll have to be like our viewers and see what I have COOKED up for next time!

: That sounds like a really easy hint...

*Ririchiyo sighs as they continue to walk.*

: Wait, weren't you supposed to get something from Ayame if we won?

Ah yes. I mean, it's not too important but I should go check on her.

*Topaz hurries back to Ayame.*

Posted by emperortopaz | Aug 29, 8:11 AM | 0 comments