emperortopaz's Blog

This is the seven-hundred-fourteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone! I'm glad that you're here on this special day!

: It's special? Isn't it like any other Thursday?

: Maybe he's doing a certain good girl.

I mean that's correct, but it isn't even Thursday! And do you know what that means?

: Cake...?

I mean I would like that any time. But indeed it's my birthday.

: So then what does that mean?

: You're not going to be doing THAT until we get back on Earth...

*Ririchiyo blushes and looks to he side.*

: What are you talking about?

: N-NOTHING!

Come on, Riri. You don't need to be embarrassed.

: But-

I know that I can't play the Switch until we get back. It's not like we brought it with us anyway.

: Oh! I thought that you meant... er, nevermind.

*She blushes as Kaoruko turns to Riri. The assistant seems to be spinning the spools in the tape.*

: So what are you doing anyway?

: Oh, I'm rewinding the tapes the old fashioned way. It's not like we have rewinders anymore.

I never got those when the VCR could rewind itself. It just seemed like extra cost.

: Technology back in the day was sure a mess.

: We can only imagine how momma and master survived...

It's a miracle, though there are some things that were better back then. I blame terrible people getting into fads and ruining them from the inside. Like an infection or parasite.

: That partially sounds familiar...

: That is a good way to describe it. But I finished rewinding the tapes.

: Wait, wasn't Topaz supposed to do that?

Ririchiyo did it better!

: He just got nervous that he'd ruin all his hard work. Something about 2017 guest blogs or something.

Even if that was the others, but at least that aired before the tapes were ruined! And it was a lost episode of Spongebob reference too.

: Topaz has a habit of enjoying lost media.

I do! It's really interesting that people keep finding things that were once thought to be lost forever! But enough about that. I think that it's time to go to the footage.

: As long as it's not found footage and will attack us we should be fine.

: This is not a horror blog!

: True, and let us hope it's not a horror-ible blog either!

I sure hope not, as it's this year's meganekko blog! But enough stalling, this isn't Gen 2!

*With that Riri hands the tape over and places it in the VCR. After a bit of static the show begins and the camera goes towards the monitor. Rather than be the screen though the film transpositions to the tape, as if the viewer was there.*

*The camera shows a bowling alley though it seems almost empty. However, one girl in a very conservative outfit is using the lanes, and she makes a very elegant toss. The ball seems to swerve perfectly, hitting the strike and knocking all the pins down. The score monitor above the lane makes a generic clip art-like picture that says “STRIKE!”.”

: YES! WHOO HOO!

*The meganekko jumps around, bouncing quite a bit and that of course includes her fairly plump ass which can be seen even with her long skirt. The camera moves towards her as if being carried by Topaz, who even looks at it in a selfie-like way.*

Oh hey everyone! You got to see the girl today make her throw! And look at that wonderful body move around as she looks so happy!

*He approaches further, surprising the girl.*

Great job there. I can see how skilled you are at bowling.

: W-what? EEEK!

*As she was pulling her ball from the return, which was somewhat noisy, she didn't hear Topaz approaching until he said something. She drops the ball in shock, having it somehow land on his foot and deal 5 damage. Although the bowling ball is heavy and solid it still bounces slightly and rolls right into the gutter. The score monitor makes a generic clip art-like picture of a person holding their nose and going “What A Stinker!”. The girl is flustered as Topaz even falls against the nearby seats, flipping over them in a comedic fashion. Some time later he has his shoe off and his foot is being rubbed by the flustered girl.*

: I am so sorry about that! I cannot believe that I would injure someone with a ball!

Don't worry. I shouldn't have surprised you, so it is my fault.

: Luckily you should be alright. You seem tougher than your look, so it should only cause a little bit of swelling.

Oh, I'm pretty sure I have some “swelling”...

: What are you talking about?

*She looks up at Topaz and tilts her head, her long beautiful hair cascading wonderfully. Her buttons on her top look quite tight, and from his seated position he can see how fat and sexy her ass is too. He blushes though, trying to not be too affected by her appearance.*

A-anyway, that's not important. What is important is that I want to talk about you!

: Wait, are you that Topaz fellow that was supposed to be coming? I still cannot believe that you would want to interview me.

Why would that be? You're a wonderful girl and I want more people to learn about you! Especially if your manga won't likely get an anime, which is unfortunate.

: Well it was never all that popular. Though what should I expect, as I'm in the lead. If it was about my mother I'm sure that there would be even more fans but for a plain girl like me...

Nonsense! You're an incredibly beautiful girl, and that's why I want to talk about you on this special day!

: S-special?!

*She blushes.*

Indeed as it is meganekko day. That means that it will be a special blog that I'll talk about a beauty in glasses like yourself! You're the only one that I want to talk about!

: Are you sure? I mean I'd be fine with you talking about me, b-but aren't there better girls you can talk about?

I came all the way to talk about you, and I know that you want to be talked about to. You deserve your moment in the sun!

: I wouldn't say that... Maybe I'm better suited for the shadows.

Don't say something like that. And since she did technically give the alright how about I mention that...



: I am surprised that you're still doing me, and that picture... it's better than the one that I had!

Of course as I want to use color images as often as I can! I want to make sure that the meganekko day girl looks good after all, as it's not only once per year but it's also my birthday!

: Such pressure... This is like trying to get a Greek Church!

I'd rather have Greek love with you, Touka! Er, I suppose that I should mention that a “Greek Church” is the 4-6-7-8-10 pins still standing.

: Indeed, as it is a very difficult pick-up-wait, what's “Greek love”?

It's not important.

*Touka tilts her head trying to realize what he means. However the camera seems to glance towards her skirt-clad ass which, as she's sitting on the fabric, is pulling snug on her plump round cheeks.*

Anyway, to help calm your nerves how about you take a few rounds in the lane? I'm sure that you'll be able to relax.

: R-relax?! With you watching me?!

*She blushes cutely.*

I thought that you were more used to guys watching!

: I mean I am a little... b-but with that camera...

Don't worry. It's not on yet.

*Despite lying Topaz still has the camera aim at Touka's sexy body, showing off her sexy curves and plump ass.*

: A-are you sure?

No. This is an antique after all. But don't worry. You did perfectly the first one that I saw you shoot!

: You saw that? B-but my form was slightly off... And to be seen...

*Her eyes have spirals under her glasses, causing Topaz to playfully flick her forehead. She pouts cutely from the smack.*

Don't keep making excuses. You should just bowl for the sheer joy of bowling!

: A-alright! I'll try my best then!

*She picks up the ball from the ball return and takes a deep breath. Pretending that Topaz wasn't there Touka makes a perfect roll, centering her spirit. The ball goes down and she gets another strike, only this time she gets flustered at her celebration so she just smiles.*

: L-look Topaz! I did it, and even while you were watching!

That you did! Great job! Are you more relaxed now?

: A little bit. How about I make another toss?

Fine by me!

*Topaz watches as she gets her ball back. However, he notices that a string on her skirt seems to be lose...*

W-wait, before you throw that-

*Touka takes a deep breath and throws the ball. It does go down the alley but not quite right as Touka's foot seemed to have slipped on the string from her skirt. It causes her long skirt's buttons to snap and she shows off her plain panty ass. It looks as plump and sexy as expected, and also she panics and flusters with a bright red face.*

: EEEK!

I-it's alright! Your ass looked great!

: Not only did I tear my skirt but you saw my b-big butt! I can't believe it!

I can't either. Who calls it a “butt” any more? Call it an ass like an adult!

: That's what you're getting offended by?! Oh man, and I tore it all the way down my skirt too! I can't repair it like this, and m-my panty ass will be completely exposed for the whole blog!

That's alright, as your fat ass looks great! In general you look very wonderful!

: P-please don't say such things! It's embarrassing!

*She blushes as she tries to cover her ass.*

Certainly em-bare-ass-ing...

: Please! I-I do have some pants in case of something like this... b-but I need to go change...

Go right ahead, I can wait for you. In fact, how about I begin the blog while you're gone? Well, if you can hear me at least.

: I should be able to, so please talk all you want! I-I might be a little bit...

*Touka makes her way to the backroom, holding her torn skirt in front of her to cover her panties. Her ass jiggles as Topaz watches her make her way back, her cheeks looking very plump and sexy. He then coughs, shaking his head to return to reality.*

W-well, after all that I'm sure that you're surprised that we still have to begin the blog. Can't forget about the important part after all!

*With that Topaz begins the blog, allowing Touka time to change.*

==Head==
===Hair===
Touka has some extremely good hair, but that does not mean that she remains that way. That said, for the majority of the series she has basically my ideal style. She has long hair that goes straight down her back, going about to her waist if slightly longer. Her sides are also really long and frame her face, and let's not forget about her beautiful and nearly flawless hime cut. It could use a little more fullness, but without major gaps it still looks great and is a very nice length. Touka does show her ears but that isn't too problematic. There's some variety as she has had braids or a ponytail, and probably other hair styles. I'll also say that black hair looks fantastic for her, and while her hair does appear a little stringy it isn't anything troubling either. I will say that Touka did have shorter hair in the past, as well as the last chapter. Yes, that means that Touka had one of those terrible last-minute time skip haircuts. Presumably it's due to her becoming okay with the love issue, but I hate that trope. It's especially painful considering how simply amazing her hair was prior, like turning a red-eyed black-haired potential Cure villain into a blue-eyed blonde-haired version. Okay, so it's not THAT awful (and believe me, that is something we'll get in with that girl) but I really don't like girls cutting their hair. Especially for some resolve reason as that's always corny and to make it worse her bangs get pulled back to ruin her hime cut with a gap on the right side. Overall for the majority of the series Touka looked really great, especially for my tastes, but her hair cut pulled her score back to slightly above average due to how terrible it looks.
Grade: B

===Eyes===
As this year's meganekko day girl it is no surprise that Touka wears glasses. Fortunately they aren't lost by the time skip or else I'd be even angrier at the ending (granted I've calmed down since but still). They're a very nice pair of thick frames, mostly seen on the upper side but do note that there's a lot more detail in the design than in most other series. You can even see the nose pieces, and there are very few times where she's not wearing them as well (mainly going into water or getting dressed). As far as shape goes Touka does pretty well here too, with a well detailed shape and a nicely emphasized upper lid. Granted it's not tsurime, more of a rounded or flat look, but that might be because her eyes seem narrow for an anime character. Her eyelashes do a good job of providing some shape to her eyes as well. The pupils do have a lot of detail and I like many of her cute expressions. I will mention that she does have blue eyes, but other than the covers as this is a manga it's hard to tell and her eye color looks more on the darker side. Overall while not quite perfect for me, Touka's eyes do fit her personality and I really love her beautiful glasses as well.
Grade: A

===Face===
Touka is the type of girl who is often considered “plain” for some reason, but perhaps that's just due to anime cuteness being a thing. Still, I find her extremely beautiful and her expressions are all really great. Her blush is really pretty too, which she does somewhat often. I will mention that she does have somewhat thick eyelashes, but it isn't pointed out or anything. Due to the art style her nose does look somewhat bigger, but only occasionally when the bridge is drawn. Her facial structure has some very nice curves to it, and I like how she has a mole on the left side near the bottom of her mouth. Not that I'm too into moles, but it is something interesting that she stands out for. That said, overall Touka does fairly well in this area with a beautiful face that's further improved by her lovely glasses.
Grade: B+

*After the sections we return to “reality” where Riri smacks Topaz around. She doesn't do damage though. The tape is fortunately paused as well.*

Ow ow! I mean not really, but what's all that for!

: You told me that you were just going out with friends that day! I can't believe that you were spending time with a girl that looks like THAT!

I was with friends that day! It came after we already had the tape!

: Time sure is funny in this blog.

: I mean Topaz doesn't plan out these things properly. But I still want to hear more about this girl!

: As do I, so let's go back to the tape!

Great plan!

: You're just trying to excuse yourself from the various things that you'd do with her!

I'll have you know that I was a perfect gentleman!

: Sure sure.. then let's get back to the video.

With pleasure!

*As Topaz unpauses the tape we go back just as Touka is coming back from the backroom. She's wearing tight pants now, which are snug against her fat cheeks. She even shakes her hips as she sits down beside Topaz. Well, a few seats down as she'd be embarrassed otherwise.*

: I'm sorry about that, I just have a problem with being seen.

I understand, there's a lot of girls in your spot. But we hadn't talked about that, and instead we talked about your head.

: I-I cannot believe that you would think that I'm so cute.

Of course! Meganekkos are wonderful, and you have extremely beautiful glasses that you keep through the series and wear in most opportunities! You didn't even attempt contacts which is a plus, and I love how you cutely adjust them because they're ever so slightly too big so you have to adjust them some times! You might even have multiple pairs and... er...

*Topaz notices how flustered Touka was as a result of all the glasses praises. She even adjusts them near the temples.*

: Y-you really like glasses, don't you?

They're really versatile! Especially a pair like yours, and your eyes are really nice too! Even with the blue color, which isn't too noticeable in the manga, they're incredible as I like the cute shape of them. There's a nice amount of detail too!

: I-I have never heard that kind of praise before...

You deserve it though! Your face is great too! You have such beautiful facial expressions and I even like your cute mole too!

: Y-you don't have to lie! I know that I'm very plain and-

But that's what's so great about it! You're really great for my tastes! And that's not counting the hair... *cough most of the time...*

: Eh? Something wrong with my hair?

*She shows it off, the long flowing black locks falling beautifully.*

Not now, certainly. You have extremely great hair and would easily have been perfect. If it wasn't for the time skip haircut at least. I hate that trope where girls cut their hair after heartbreak. Instead they should make it longer!

: Eh?! How?!

Listen I don't know these things. But time skips certainly give a chance for hair to be long, and I'm also tired of adult anime women having short hair as they should keep it down and long! I mean it's a preference, but yours looks so great!

: I do thank you...

*She seems to be squirming a bit.*

Hmm? Do you have to take a break? Well, don't let me keep you.

: A br... I-It's not that. It's just that ever since I came back my pants have felt really tight...

Oh, I understand! Looking at you too much makes-er, too much information...

*Luckily Touka didn't seem to hear Topaz's last line.*

: I don't get it... these pants fit yesterday...

*She shakes her hips as she bends over, trying to adjust the legs of her pants. However, the part that's really tight is of course her fat jiggly ass. Her panties even stick out the top slightly as she tries to adjust, but her cheeks definitely look too big for her outfit.*

I-I think I know the reason...

: Oh? What's that? Don't tell me it's due to a big dinner...

Because of my blogs I have a habit of causing girls to have their asses grow. Your ass looks beautiful though!

: I-it's not too big or anything?

If anything it'll grow even further, but I'm sure that it won't affect your score!

: That is a relief... I was afraid it would get in the way of my bowling.

Right because I don't apply blog noncanon things and-wait, you mean...

*Touka bravely picks up her ball and throws it down the lane, putting a good amount of spin on it. It was slightly stronger than intended, meaning she gets a split rather than a direct strike.*

: Hmmm... This is a lot more weight, and because of that my legs seem stronger too... I should be able to adjust to this...

*She throws a ball and picks up the split. However, as she's leaning forward with her arm out her hips and especially her barely-contained ass look great.*

: YES! I picked up the spare!

Perhaps spare pants are in order as well. You're about to split those...

: EEK!

*Touka blushes from Topaz's comment, attempting to cover her bowling ass but her hands are far too small for her massive cheeks.*

: P-PLEASE! Just go to the next area!

But it's the-

: I don't mind! Just get to it!

Fine fine... If you insist... Heh heh heh...

*With that Topaz continues the blog.*

==Body==
===Build===
Touka definitely has some issues when it comes to this area, though they're mostly due to the next area. Still, she is fairly curvy and slightly plump though I like that sort of thing. She's about average height though it is a little hard to judge. She does have a nice lower body, and she does have a few nice ass moments though there could always have been more. There's one where she flashes her lower body and her ass and thighs take up most of the page! Sadly as the series goes on the fanservice seemed to be put to the side, and what little Touka got was mostly mamocentric. She does at least show her bare ass at one point, which is always nice and more than what a lot of other girls can say. Her legs are also quite nice, especially her thighs, and in general her somewhat-athletic body has curves in all the right places. Still, with her “baggage” she doesn't have too much stamina and is rather slow when it comes to running (fortunately bowling doesn't require a lot of that though). Overall Touka looks incredible, with some nice ass moments and showing off her body really well (even if against her wishes).
Grade: B+

===Chest===
That said, Touka's chest is very large and that gets pointed out quite a bit. She is very embarrassed and insecure about it, and being so curvy makes her worried while bowling. She doesn't admit her cup size when asked, being embarrassed though I'm not sure if it's brought up in a later chapter. It is mentioned that each one of her breasts weighs about 5 kg, which is dumb if it's her only measurement but I blame the one groping her comparing her to the weight of a bowling ball. Despite having a couple of opportunities she doesn't show her nipples, even in the manga volumes, though she does get comforted when Koyomi bonds though suckling her (getting bite marks on her chest as a result). Overall Touka does very poorly here, only saved by not being entirely mamocentric thanks to some convenient scenes but only barely and she still has a lot of troubling problems.
Grade: C-

===Clothes===
As expected of her personality Touka's outfits are usually very reserved. She often wears a long black skirt with red bowling shirt and a vest to try and hide her size, getting convinced to roll up said skirt and remove her vest to try and get used to it. She also gets an official bowling shirt later on as well, and wears it after the time skip with tight pants. She also has a lot of casual outfits which include things such as a ribbed sweater with pants, but she does have trouble getting clothing (both under and overwear) due to her curvy body. She even bursts buttons or zippers (meaning the teeth, not flinging the zipper part out like a projectile) and has other busty girl problems as well like sweating through her shirt. Other outfits include a striped bikini during a shota's imagination and a naked apron during another imagination (and showing off her ass too), as well as a gym uniform with pants and jacket. There's also official art of her in a cow print bikini and she wears a towel on occasion too. There's probably more, but overall Touka does pretty well showing some of the troubles she has but still having a good amount of cute outfits (as well as some fetishy kinds in the imaginations of other characters).
Grade: B+

*We return to Topaz and Touka, with the latter having a redder face than ever before. She is strangely closer to Topaz, at least close enough to start beating on him cutely like Riri would.*

Ow ow ow! Well, not really. Luckily like you said I'm very defensive. But what is all this for?

: Y-you should have talked about m-my body like that! I'm really embarrassed about it!

You shouldn't be! Granted I can understand it, but you have a wonderful body!

*The camera gives her a very nice pan, making to show off her fat ass in shorts and chest which is big though not as big as her ass has become. She isn't sure which side to cover up with her arms.*

: P-please stop looking at me like that!

I'm really sorry but you're so beautiful! I mean the series does sadly show off your chest way too much, so I suppose that makes sense that you have a complex about that.

: Of course, and I get so conscious of my curves while people are watching me.

It's alright, I imaging that's natural. You get it in your head and it bothers you, so you can't think of how your body poses and moves. You shouldn't have to worry though, as I'm sure that they will still appreciate your bowling skills!

: But it's just too hard!

I wasn't thinking you could see-er, n-never mind! Just know that you did pretty well because of your really great ass and lower body. Like I've said before you look really great, and maybe if the series weren't so mamocentric you wouldn't have that kind of complex! I blame people caring way too much about boobs and not about asses. Obviously boobs are fools after all...

: Y-you're talking so much, and it's making me nervous... H-how about we get back to the previous areas... Or the next ones, that will work out well too!

*Topaz pats Touka cutely, who seems to be getting overly embarrassed.*

I suppose, but I still have to talk about your clothing. Granted there are moments where your large chest does get in the way there too, but overall the nice selection of sensible outfit mixed with the occasional perverse one really works out.

: P-please! It was already embarrassing hearing you talk about my body and clothes... I know that I'm not as fashionable as Koyomi, or as outgoing as my mother...

Don't worry about that! And I'm sure that my fans understand as well, even if they don't know you and probably won't outside of the blog!

: Then I hope that I am giving them a good impression...

*For some reason she comes closer to Topaz, showing off her surprisingly erotic body. However the screen soon goes to static, causing Topaz to smack the monitor and machine.*

EH?! NOW?! But that's going to be so suggestive!

: You had better not taken advantage of her while I wasn't there, Topaz!

*For some reason Riri arrives on the screen, seeming to work the camera.*

: Momma is on the picture box!

W-wait, what is this Riri?

: N-NOTHING! Give me that! Don't watch!

: Well that just makes us want to watch it!

: N-NO! It's embarrassing!

: Then we should keep watching, now shouldn't we?

*May, Saki and Kaoruko hold back Riri from getting at the tape. The Ririchiyo on the screen talks to herself, seeming to be in a bedroom. She looks at the pants she's wearing, especially shoving her fat ass towards the camera.*

: I don't see what Rika is saying. These pants look just right! I just bought them after all, but I can't get a good look without the camera...

*She even dances in an assy way.*

: Oh no, Topaz~ I've got such a big ass, and no one to carry it~ What even shall I do?

Hey, Riri! What are you doing as it's dinnertime!

*Topaz's voice is heard on the tape, apparently heading towards Riri.*

: N-NOTHING! Sheesh, where's that power button?

*Riri then moves over to the camera, turning it off before the video returns to static.*

So what was all THAT?

: Rika told me that those pants were too small for my ass, and I didn't want to break them in front of you!

But it would be sexy!

: T-that's not important!

: Ufufu, are you sure you don't want to be an idol?

: I don't want to hear that kind of idea!

: Master, momma? We hear the tape returning.

*As Jack says that Touka's voice is heard, even if the static is still on the screen.*

: This is the first time I've done something like this... At least with a guy...

: WHAT DID YOU DO?!

I swear I'm a gentleman!

*Indeed as the visual soon returns, and it shows that Topaz is on Touka's lap. She's patting his head.*

: I'm sorry for knocking you off the seat, but I'm glad your head is feeling alright.

But of course as your sexy thighs are so soft! And-

*Topaz goes to look up towards Touka's face, but there is a very obvious obstruction in he way. He quickly sits up, blushing himself.*

: Eh? Are you feeling better already?

Y-yeah. Don't worry about that. I'll just take a drink and-

*Topaz picks up a nearby can of soda, only he's so flustered that he accidentally shakes it in his trembling. As he opens it the resulting burst hits Touka directly.*

: EEEP! You've got it all over my ch-er, shirt and glasses! Now I'll be such a sticky mess.

I do apologize but please rephrase that!

: I'm going to go get changed, and as my pants are so tight maybe I'll change them too...

*As she says that Touka splits her pants, her enormous cheeks burst out. Topaz tries to help cover them, or at least touch her, but both hands barely fit on one of her cheeks now.*

W-wow.. they're like 18 pounders... And yet so perky!

: D-don't compare my ass to bowling balls!

You're right, as it's in Freedom Units and people won't recognize that it's slightly above 8 kg each.

: That's not the reason why!

*She then runs to the backroom to change once again, her plump cheeks looking hungry from how much they eat her panties which are wedged deep.*

W-well, since Touka is changing how about we return to the blog? I'm sure that she can hear me in there too.

*With that Topaz continues with the blog.*

==Mind==
===Personality==
Touka is a really great girl for my tastes. She's a shy girl who slowly opens up as the story goes on, gaining more confidence as the series goes on. In the beginning she can't bowl in front of others, especially guys, but she wants to follow her mother's footsteps and become a renowned female bowler. The series is mostly about her going through various trials, getting a little better each time and playing games against various female rivals. Sadly Birdie Wing this isn't so there's no overly shounen battle sports, mostly realistic bowling as far as I can remember. But Touka does have a lot of adoration for the sport as she works at a (mostly abandoned) alley and even makes sure to scrub the floors every day. She does feel like she's in her mother's shadow, and as mentioned she is very self-conscious about her body and showing off though she gets better with being able to be seen. Overall Touka might not seem too interesting but that's probably just me being unable to find the words to describe her well. She's a great hard worker, going towards her ambitions even though she is such a shy and anxious girl and eventually meeting her goals. Sadly as a manga-only character she doesn't have a VA, but I do appreciate the series even if the ending seemed a little rushed (at least to me).
Grade: B+

===Libido==
This is probably Touka's biggest issue, especially when it comes to my tastes. Well, not as bad as the haircut, but that is easily ignored as it was in the last chapter. For one, she is very nervous in the beginning showing off, being unable to bowl if a guy is watching. But getting to her love interests, she has a crush on her coach for most of the series though he doesn't seem to notice (even with all the inspiration he gives her). It's a pretty big driving force of the series that she wants to do well at bowling to show how improved she is to him. She even kisses his poster to get prepared in the morning! However, this doesn't go well as her heart is broken as her mother, who she has a pretty big inferiority complex towards, seems to go after him instead (said mother is 39, being older than him by about 10 years). I don't have a problem with how the relationship went, but rather that Touka seemed to become yuri afterward. Granted that part of the series isn't translated so I can't be sure, but I do know that she ends up with Koyomi the (yuri) friend that was with her since the first chapter. They even had a teacher that was shipping the two of them from the beginning. Maybe I'm just angry that Ren the middle school boy with a crush on her didn't really seem to get his arc resolved as the series had to be cut due to interest failing (which is sadly what happens to a lot of series these days). That may also be why the yuri resolution seemed so rushed, but there is also the language barrier so I don't know exactly the dialogue. And it's not that Koyomi wasn't interested in her in the beginning, but I always think of that being a part of female-driven slice of life. They do have their moments early too, so I'm probably just still recovering from the shock that a series like this would go full-yuri. Luckily my frustrations have gone down since, which is helpful. I will also mention that Touka is pretty submissive, which is unfortunate as well. Still, Touka does overall do alright and I suppose I cannot be angry that she found love. I just hope that she didn't settle. And her being so embarrassed about her body effects this score as well.
Grade: C+

===Age===
Touka is the standard age for an anime girl, meaning about high school age. At least if you're not counting the time skip nor flashbacks, though I cannot say for sure her exact age or grade. She does seem quite older in the last chapter, being an adult but I don't know how much time had passed as it hasn't been translated. I will mention that the coach that Touka had a crush on was nearly 30 which is a bigger age gap than I'd like, though as mentioned he went with her mother instead. Guys her own age also oogle her curvy body, at least if her mother isn't around, but my favorite is of course the middle school boy Ren who has a huge crush on her! Sadly that wasn't meant to be, as mentioned prior. However, those romantic interests don't affect Touka all that much, and overall her score does alright but I wouldn't mind having more knowledge about her age.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 73
Average score: 8.1
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week, or at least today! Even if this was prerecorded.

: I wasn't expecting to do so well. I'm sure that there are many people who could do better, like my mother...

Nonsense! You're a wonderful meganekko which is something she could never be! You've got a great design and body for my tastes, and most of the issues that I had were late in the series. I blame being overly invested.

: S-so you only care about my body then! You guys are all the same!

I mean sure I did get interested in the series because of your design. I doubt that I'd really read a sports series without some sort of initiative like that. But personality wise you're really great too! I like shy girls and you've got just the right amount of nerdy-ness for my tastes too!

: N-nerdy?!

I mean that in the best possible way! I mean I'm the one that has a scoring sheet for anime girls and have been talking about them for over ten years. Going on fifteen.

: That is really incredible. And to think that I will now be immortalized...

That you will be, or at least as long as this site continues to operate. But it is a shame that more information about your age wasn't available. Same for measurements, though that might just cause more mamocentric issues.

: True... Though I am thankful for such a full ass, even if that will catch eyes instead.

Good for them, I hope that many people watching your bowling will become ass-lovers. Then they'd gain intelligence.

: I am still a little flustered at being stared at though, even as you're gazing up and down my body...

Well it's extremely attractive and with your bigger ass it looks even better! But I do apologize for staring as I should have know it would bother you. Especially with you taking a more yuri ending, which was still a surprise to me! I'm too used to that sort of thing just being bait so I probably got overly frustrated.

: It's alright. Especially since you couldn't really talk about a series that others don't care about.

Right. And I wouldn't want them to read it either due to how mamocentric it is, even if it does have its ass moments.

: It's alright. How about I help a bit... It is your birthday after all.

*She opens her arms out wide for a hug, blushing.*

A-are you sure?

: Yes, at least for now... I'll let you enjoy some “soft therapy”... And hurry before I change my mind.

*Topaz nods and approaches. However, that is the end of the tape. Topaz gets beaten on by Riri.*

: W-what was that part near the end, Topaz!

Tee hee!

*Topaz smiles with his tongue out the corner, acting innocent. This causes Ririchiyo to chase him around.*

: Come back here and tell me what happened! Stop being so coy!

No way! You're going to smack me again, and I'm sure that my readers won't be happy either!

: That only makes it MORE awful! Don't leave off on such a terrible note! What did I tell you about...

*Her voice trails off as Riri continues to chase Topaz, leaving the other girls alone with the machine.*

: Not the first girl he had that sort of fun with this week, and probably not the last...

: What a pervert! But hopefully his readers still enjoyed the blog!

: Agreed, though I am sure that they did. It had a good amount of ass service, even if it's of a girl they don't know too well. That said, it seems like the blog is over for today as those two just ran off...

: Perhaps we should trail them?

: I'll try my best in my mecha, but I can't take a lot of cramped corridors.

: I suppose it would be good. Though we haven't seen many enemies lately. I wonder...

*We leave those trio and go back to one of the prison cells. The familiar KurlKurl is there, knocking on the door.*

KurlKurl: Prisoner I have come here to bring you your meal. I know that we're in space, but it should still be dinner... Hello?

*She listens at the door, only to hear nothing. As she opens up nothing but confetti pops out.*

KurlKurl: To think that I would be made a fool like this. Let us get the robots on high alert! We've got an escapie!

*On another part of the ship, between where the escape was and Topaz and Riri, was a girl who crushed a robot's head with her bare hand. Well, it was enhanced with some type of divine energy. It crumples on the floor.*

: Quick! Capture her alive! We need her scorn!

*More robots approach, but they get shut down by various simple magic tricks that were set like traps. The mysterious goddess continues to head forward, talking to herself. However, her bows bounce with every step though her eyes are obscured.*

????: To think that your magic abilities would be so useful. It must be the effect of the scorn, but I know that Topaz's blog will help me clear that up for you...

*She looks up.*

: Prepare yourself, Topaz. I shall be meeting you... soon... And I don't mean in a week either.

*And with that this year's meganekko day blog is over. Join us next week, wait no-TOMORROW! For another blog.*

This is the seven-hundredth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We begin the blog with Ririchiyo still chasing a mysterious ninja through the rooftops.*

: Mysterious? She told us her name last time!

: You cannot expect people to remember that.

: I can see that happening with Topaz in particular. He's so forgetful that he'd forget the plot if he didn't have to write reminders every so often like this.

: So he has a poor memory... That would explain why he didn't recognize me.

MMMPPHH!

*Topaz struggles uselessly against the ropes, his mouth still gagged. He's still being carried by the ninja, being held against her back and over her shoulders as she leaps with great agility from the various rooftops. Ririchiyo's youkai power is allowing her keep up though.*

: For someone with an ass as yours I'm surprised that you can keep up!

: I have a lot of practice moving around with an ass like this. That said, I imagine that if you had Topaz blog you that you'd have a large ass like this too!

: Why would I want something like that? It would only get in the way!

: Obviously not. Look at how well I'm able to move around, so you should get used to it. Rather it's those things on your chest that you should be worried about.

: My breasts? Why would you bring up something like that?!

: It's obviously they're sucking all the brain out of your head, like the parasites that they are! Explains why politicians are defending T*wawa after all...

: Wawa? I have no idea what you mean.

: Be glad that you don't, as you're from a time far ago. Easily at least fifteen years!

: There's no way that it's been that long since I was created! I mean I'm likely older than that... I think. I'm not sure my age.

MMPPHH!

: Quiet, peanut gallery! And to get back to it, my breasts are not parasites!

: It would explain why you're confusing Topaz for whoever you think that he is.

: I'd tell you but I've been banned from using his real name-

: If only more sites on the internet would follow that.

: But no matter, as I have sworn to serve and protect him ever since the day that he revived me! Well, it's more that he brought my memories back and-

: That sounds like a certain Kid... I can see why you were created when he was playing a lot of PS1 RPGs...

: Quiet with that!

*The ninja throws various knifes at Riri, trying to evade the youkai. However, it doesn't work at all.*

: You cannot say that what I had to go through once the opponent Hades used his killer move on me!

: At least you can come back, unlike a certain flower girl! That said, I'm glad that Topaz is gagged. He'd probably go “HaDEEZ NUTS” or make some other sort of idiotic joke.

: It sounds like you know a lot about Topaz, or whatever you call him. But I never miss my mark so take this!

*The ninja throws a wide arc of kunai at Riri, timing them so that once she slashes one away with her naginata another one is right behind it. The ninja smirks, only to have the youkai move quicker than she expected and knock that one away.*

: N-no way...

*Not only that, but Riri aimed so that the weapon would return to the ninja, flying straight at her at an incredible speed. The ninja evades, but she realizes that another ricocheted kunai is flying straight at her. She takes evasive maneuvers, but it comes close to slashing her braid.*

: Man, Topaz would have killed me had that ended up cutting your hair.

: My hair is the least of your worries! Your attacks had no effect, and even reflecting my own attacks back at me was useless!

Oh? I think that it wasn't useless at all.

: What do you know, you're tied up... and... gagged...

*She looks back in shock, watching as Topaz's bindings all fall off. The viewers then see that due to the quick dodging the ninja had to do didn't account for the captive, causing the weapons to slash against the ropes. Fortunately he's not injured at all, and she falls to her knees.*

: I can't believe it. To think that this would be my third biggest mistake....

: Capturing Topaz was another, but I think you're counting this as all one big mistake. And obviously dying is your biggest mistake, but now I wonder what the other one was.

: Oh it involves a hopeless boss battle.

It was an area where only magic could be used and there was a big boss to be defeated. The time mage wasn't in the party at the time and the red mage had his mp lowered to 0 for plot reasons. The rest of the party had no options either.

: That sounds like a really dumb battle!

If you won it, likely due to using a MP-restoring item and scraping by, you got a pretty nifty reward. And even if you didn't the resident white and black mages joined and caused the rematch to be much easier.

: You know the more you talk about the games you used to make the more upset that I am that you'll likely never finish them.

I mean I'm not a game designer. Though I am good at making interesting stories, as my blogs show.

: Interesting might be giving your blogs too much credit... But now that you're rescued how about we begin the blog properly.

Sounds like a great plan, so what do you think?

*The ninja is sitting down pouting.*

: I guess you really aren't the one that I'm looking for. B-but you still know who I am, and it's not like you told anyone else about this story or game of yours... right?

: Take it from me. Topaz's blogs are strange and there's all sorts of canons around. There's a version of me out there that's completely different, and I'm sure that you'll find your... “Topaz” eventually.

: That gives me great hope for the future. I thank you for this, but if there is something that I can do to apologize for this grand mistake...

*She takes out a dagger and exposes her stomach, which has a large bandage on it.*

: If you ask, I can even do the ultimate sacrifice...

: Don't do it! It's far better to Special Summon monsters than to tribute summon them!

That's not what she means, Ririchiyo! You don't have to go that far anyway. All you need to do is let me do my blog on you.

: Wait, since she attacked me and captured you doesn't that make her an enemy?

: Does such a thing matter?

I mean it might, as we've had mistaken identities a fair amount of time. But at least you're willing to apologize. And being tied up against your body...

: TOPAZ! Behave! (I can't believe that he would get excited from something like this...)

: I am very willing to apologize, but that does not mean that I understand. What is this “blog” that you 're going to have me do?

It's nothing much. I just talk about you in front of the internet.

: And by that he only means less than a handful of people. Though don't forget to warn her that you'll talk about her body-

: That is alright. It is my burden to bear!

: ...Your ass will also become larger.

*She looks back, shaking her hips and looking at her ass.*

: Like you said, I would likely become used to it. Though speaking of “burdens” if the weight becomes too much...

I'm sure that you'll enjoy being assier. So what do you say, shall I talk about you?

: I shall allow it! I want more people to learn about my story, and that of my companions as well!

That is quite honorable, but I don't know how much of the story I'll actually get to. But let's not dawdle as we have a blog to do and...



*While Topaz introduced Xi-Ling Ririchiyo assumed her normal form.*

: Topaz. Just one question.

Go right ahead.

: If she's a ninja, which are notably Japanese, why the heck is her name CHINESE?

: That is a very good point.

The answer should be obvious. I am an idiot.

: While that can excuse a lot of things, this isn't one of them.

That is fair. It's more that in the past I was an idiot when it comes to Xi-Ling. She was created a long time ago and I wasn't as familiar with the differences between Japan, China, and likely other Asian countries like that. It's more that I needed a name and the string of words looked like it would work...

: Somehow I'm getting the idea that letting you talk about me was a poor one. Another of my mistakes, it would appear...

: But isn't it at least better than taking your own life?

: I may begin to regret my decision.

I mean I didn't have a lot to draw on! Like a lot of my early projects the characters were all either based on friends of mine or random characters from games or television shows or something. I wasn't very creative-still aren't. Though I'm glad that there are sites for names and such now. I can only imagine how much I'd struggle at coming up with names without it.

: So other than just random chance is there any reason for her name?

Not really, but coincidentally I was going to make the ultimate weapons for all the characters named after Greek letters.

: You're really pulling from all sorts of culture, aren't you?

: I believe that the main opponents, such as Hades I mentioned earlier, were all named after Greek gods as well. Perhaps he was just in a chuunibyou mood...

I mean I'm always in that sort of mood. But it was fitting that Xi-Ling's weapon was to be “Xi” so that part of her name fit her weapon.

: That is a dumb reason, but I suppose it makes for a funny coincidence.

I mean it's the best that I can do, being young and terrible at names back then. But enough scolding my high school ignorance. We have a blog to do.

: Wait a minute! Before you begin there's one big thing that you have to do!

: But Topaz already introduced you.

: I mean that is important, but I mean something else!

I went before you captured me, but thanks for asking.

: Not that either! I mean that it wouldn't be very useful for your readers to only have this... pitiful picture to go off of! Isn't there any sort of better picture that you have?

I mean... there IS but I'm no artist.

: I think that all your readers know that by now.

No, I mean that the old drawings are bad, not that I'm bad at writing or anything similar to that.

: How bad can it really be?

Well then, let's take a look...

*Topaz pulls a scroll from Xi-Ling's waist sash. She looks as surprised as Riri.*

: Wait, you had a picture?

: I swear I didn't know!

Don't worry, as it allows me to conveniently show you without making it seem like I just carry pictures of my creations around. That would be strange.

: From what I have seen, you are already strange...

No matter. Let's take a look at THIS!



I apologize in advance.

: For what? Playing a joke on me? Ha ha, what a silly child-like drawing. You SURELY have a better one, correct?

*Topaz shakes his head, making Xi-Ling even more worried.*

: W-wait, you're serious? You can't make your readers look at something like that! And I demand better treatment!

: Don't get your hopes up. Topaz hasn't drawn anything in years so he's no doubt rusty.

: No, that's the sage.

She means I'd still be poor at art due to lack of use, not that my name is “Rusty”.

: That means that the blog will likely be affected though! Can't you do anything?

Maybe after the blog is done. But it can't be done without beginning!

: That sounded really zen but is just obvious.

Fair, but I meant that I'll be starting. Lets begin!

*With that Topaz finally begins the blog.*

==Head==
===Hair===
It's very hard to tell what color Xi-Ling's hair is due to me designing her in pencil. And not being a great artist in general, but that's besides the point. Due to this, I can't quite tell what her hair color is like. I will say that it looks dark though with lighter-colored bangs. If I had to say now she'd have an almost-black shade of grey for her hair while her bangs are blonde, but I cannot be sure if this was the intended coloring. Luckily I'm able to change it and that means that her color is effectively up to me. So yes, she does have black hair but unfortunately the editor I use to make these characters isn't good enough for multi-colored hair like that (which is why her picture looks different). She also has separated bangs which go around her face, having a big part that shows off most of her forehead. I'm not as big on that and I can't change the original design that much, but I still like her appearance. Xi-Ling's hair is also really long. Even in a braided ponytail it seems to reach her waist or so, and as such I imagine that she has even longer hair when it's down. Sadly I didn't make any images with her hair down (granted I didn't draw a lot of concept art but still). She also doesn't have very thick sides, with her long bangs being more of what frame her face. Overall there are some issues like Xi-Ling having blond highlights (presumably natural I think) and having her hair pulled back, but I also really like the dark color and long braid.
Grade: B+

===Eyes===
Xi-Ling has pretty good eyes, though again my issues with artwork hurt her. She has much narrower eyes than a lot of characters that I've drawn, presumably to indicate that she has the slit-sort of eyes but not knowing exactly how to do that properly (while also showing off her eye color at least). That said, we run into the same issue with her hair color: because I drew her in pencil I'm not sure what her eye color is. The only way of telling would be to look at some of her inspirations, but I can't say for sure if that's what I intended with Xi-Ling. For example, Karen from Harvest Moon (which is likely where I got her bangs from) has green eyes, while Taki has more golden or brown eyes. Considering my tastes at the time I'd probably go with green or brown or something, but again I can't be sure (her eyes could even be intended to be grey for all I remember). Still, overall Xi-Ling has some pretty nice eyes, with narrow appeal and a nice color even if I'm not sure for sure. And you can certainly tell Xi-Ling is from a long, long time ago as she's not even wearing glasses xD.
Grade: B-

===Face===
Once again my art style continues to bite my future version with, though I know that I'm bad at making faces xD. Xi-Ling has a pretty rounded face in art but I think that she'd be more sharp these days, as she's more of a slender character. She also has a small-ish but still angle-shaped nose as well as a small mouth. Granted do note that the mouth isn't as easy to see in the pictures but that's more because of the camera, not my art skills for once xD. Still, there's not much to talk about here, as overall Xi-Ling's artwork is lacking with a lot of details but it still shows that I have similar tastes in features or so.
Grade: B-

: I'm always surprised when you introduce characters that you've created that aren't meganekkos, Topaz.

That is a fair point, but my love of glasses girls is fairly recent. Or at least more recent than when I created Xi-Ling.

: But you loved them when you started this blog so many years ago!

Certainly! I mean even Arima is only 16 years old, and Xi-Ling is even older than that! Time sure flies when you have a routine.

: As long as you don't eat ramen instead of cheese toast I wouldn't be worried.

: Your conversations are so strange... I wish that I could have conversations like that.

I mean you probably could have in your game. If I made it. Because I suck.

: Don't say that! Though it does seem that your poor art skills are certainly causing some problems with me.

*She threatens Topaz with a dagger against his neck.*

: Perhaps I should give you some “incentive” to grade me better.

: Don't bother with that.

T-that's right! Ririchiyo will save me, and I won't have to change my morals or your scores!

: I meant more that you're such a sponge of HP these days that just getting your neck shouldn't do much.

I mean that's one way to be defensive...

: Harumph... So such a sneak attack would be futile. But do tell me, why are you being so hard on me?

Some of it is due to my poor art and not being able to tell what my intentions are and lacking information. But a lot of it is because I can judge a creation of my own harder than normal. They're extensions of my body after all.

: I'd rather be amputated...

: Don't say that! Besides, Topaz said some good things about you, didn't he?

: I do suppose that he did enjoy my hair.

*She brushes her braid to the side, then has it blow in the wind. She also adjusts her bangs in a great way.*

: Wow... Is this blog produced by KyoAni?

Let's hope not, even if that would explain the poor storytelling. At least then people would praise the visuals, unlike what I'm doing to myself.

: Don't be confused and beat yourself up!

: I do suppose that you like my narrow eyes. However, like you said before you prefer girls in glasses these days.

Exactly!

: Hmmm, to think that the villainess from my game you'd like the best would be Athena...

: Sounds suspicious. I'm surprised that Topaz would make a meganekko villainess too.

In all fairness I think I designed her more like Fire Eyes from Evermore. Like I've said many times before I take from other sources.

: Do not worry. As your creation I do not mind.

That's a relief.

: Wait, Elizabeth isn't a villain Topaz!

But she has an evil twin.

: But that one doesn't wear glasses!

No wonder she's evil then! But enough being distracted. We should probably continue with Xi-Ling's blog.

: I agree with that. Though you still have to talk about my face as well.

Your face? I mean I said everything that I needed to before. My art style is pitiful though I do like how it's framed by your bangs. You have nicely shaped... cheeks...

*Topaz is very distracted, which makes sense as while he's talking he (and the camera) can't stop looking at Xi-Ling. Her fat ass is becoming bigger, stretching out the tight outfit she was wearing.*

: Something the matter? Did you get hit by a “daze” effect?

: I can see what he's staring at. Your ass has started to grow!

: To think that my model would change like this after this many years!

For the better no doubt! Look at how delicious your ass is!

*She even bends over in a very flattering angle, arching her back and showing off her plump cheeks.*

: Delicious? I hope that doesn't attract hungry monsters!

I'm not a monster but I'd certainly give your ass a nibble!

: That surprises me, but it proves that you are not the that I am after.

: Really? Even after both of us repeatably told you that you still hadn't understood? What was it, that the guy you thought Topaz was is mamocentric or something?

I wouldn't put it past my past self, sadly... Luckily I've mostly reformed!

: No. It is more that he has no problems with saying... “ass”. There is no way the one I know of would swear like that!

: Ass is a swear? I suppose as it was while doing this blog that you've started using it a lot more.

I blame being more used to using it in other ways as well, but back then I wouldn't say it. After all, I grew up in a sheltered home.

: Then what happened to cause... all this?

Idle hands and idle minds are the devil's playthings...

: That explains the blog I suppose. But I had better get more points for this.

We shall see, as we shall continue on with the blog...

*Topaz starts the next sections.*

==Body==
===Build===
Sadly Xi-Ling doesn't do too well here, again due to the art style. I will probably stop picking on my past art, but not yet as I'm not a skilled artist (perhaps with practice, but I don't need another thing to spend time on uselessly xD). Anyway, the issue is that while Xi-Ling likely has an hourglass-style body, being the sexy character of the game I imagine. Sadly I didn't do too well, and she looks way too blocky. Her arms are too thick and I can't draw hands at all either. Granted she likely doesn't actually look as bad as the image I found, but still she doesn't have a great shape to her. I could have made her hips a lot wider too, as she needs a big ass even if I was still badly mamocentric back then. At least the bath scene likely would have helped, but we'd never know and it was probably from the front. I do suppose that I can count the blog and her expanded ass, but it would be unfair to the other girls. I CAN count her having ass shots in it though, which might help in a very small amount. Overall this is where my poor art skills really hurt Xi-Ling, but if she were to be drawn by a better artist I'm sure that this score would be much better! And if only someone could draw some of the angles in this blog it would be helpful.
Grade: B-

===Chest===
Fortunately Xi-Ling doesn't seem all that busty, which is a surprise. I was very mamocentric after all, and as mentioned earlier Taki was one of Xi-Ling's inspirations. She does have a fair curve to her chest, and she does seem to be showing cleavage due to her outfit being thatched (more on that later), but other than being busty she likely doesn't have any mamocentric scenes. Overall while Xi-Ling does have somewhat noticeable breasts she does alright here due to it not being pointed out. Or at least as far as I can remember.
Grade: B

===Clothes===
This is another area that she doesn't do too well. I wasn't too interested in making clothing and I didn't have an eye for detail like I do these days, so Xi-Ling's outfit is extremely basic. I imagine that she's supposed to wear a Chinese dress-type of outfit, but it doesn't seem like that at all. It seems more like a dress that's been cut off in various places, such as the torn shoulder straps that likely means she pulled the sleeves off. She also has a long dress that goes past her knees, with a dark-colored hem that goes up the split on the right side to her hip (or so). The dress also has a thatched chest, somewhat like a villager outfit or peasant shirt or something. I do like the small amount of effort as her dress does seem tight, at least to the hip as I don't know what's going on with her leg. She also has has all dark boots, though they seem more like work boots than anything kinky (they don't even reach her knee and she also lacks any sort of visible legwear too). Finally, Xi-Ling uses a dagger much like a certain Kid, having a sheath and belt along her waist. Still, even with some poor details Xi-Ling's outfit really needs to have a complete overhaul and a lot more outfits would be great too. Granted this was when I was in highschool so not many games, let alone RPGs, allowed you to change the look of the characters.
Grade: C

So what do you think of these sections, Xi-Ling?

: I still find it funny that you're so wrong with her name.

: You'll have to excuse him for being an idiot. Both back then and now.

I mean I can see back then, but there's no way I could have known I'd have a blog back then! Even when I started I never expected the blog to continue on for this long!

: At least you'll always have cute girls to talk about.

Indeed, the only problem will be experiencing enough to keep a steady stream while not forgetting older ones. It's a delicate balancing act-wait, you called me an idiot now too!

: Fu fu fu, to take that long to notice proves how much of a fool you are.

*She crosses her arrms and smirks.*

: After all, even with not wanting to use the blog itself as evidence you still had some mentions of it too.

I mean I really had to, as I didn't want to completely ignore your ass! Games back then didn't have fanservice, or at least a large amount like things today might.

: Well, at least if dumb localizers don't take those scenes out.

Boo people removing sexy scenes just because it doesn't fit with their morals! They're just as bad as those that change lines and such into memes or politics and make the translator seem more like a failed artist!

: Does this really pertain well to me?

Not directly, but it was about your time period where Working Designs were having their fun changing games and making them harder!

: Boo forcing the player to grind against harder enemies for less reward and all the other terrible changes!

: That is a fair point. But I suppose that I should not complain that Topaz has decided to give me a higher score. After all... he may not be the one that I am looking for but I shall still allow him the privilege.

The privilege? For what?

: THIS!

*She takes Topaz's wrists and places her hands against her fat ass. Not only does he fondle her plump cheeks that his fingers seem to sink into her assflab, massaging it in a great way as he even slips under her skirt but he feels her ass as it expands. Her cheeks grow so large that it splits her skirt, wearing skimpy panties and a garter on the side with her longer skirt-side.*

WHOA!

: TOPAZ! Get your hands off her this instant!

: What's the matter? Jealous that he gets to fondle my cheeks?

: N-no! (Yes... Oh my arrhythmia...) I-I just don't want you to be too distracted by the fanservice and forget that you're doing a blog!

: I don't think that he'll forget. He's talking about me after all.

That's right, and if only you wore that sort of thing under your outfit you'd probably score better!

: True, but like you said that likely wasn't the plan back then. Though I should mention that they're black, they're... about backless, and they're straining against my ass which has likely grown to over 120 cm!

Sounds excellent, though you probably still have a ways to go until you beat Riri.

: I don't think anyone will likely be able to compare to me, especially with my short stature.

: That is true, but having Topaz appreciate my sexy panties and huge ass.

I mean I appreciate you all over. You inspired one of my harem girls, in a way.

: Topaz seems to always liked ninjas. Must be the tight outfits.

That's very likely.

: So tight that it seems that mine blew off. But do not worry, as I know that you are not as... what did you call yourself-Mamocentric? As you were back then.

True. At least I know that the world and fanservice doesn't revolve around boobs these days.

: Good boy, good boy. You need to behave more.

Most certainly. But in that case how about we continue with the blog!

*Topaz then heads to the final areas.*

==Mind==
===Personality==
Xi-Ling is one of the characters in one of the games that I-well, I don't want to say that I created but more that I wrote down ideas for and never worked on them again. She does have the honor of being the only “original” character in that game, as I tended to use the names of my friends for characters, with the personality to mostly match as well. Anyway, she was the first ally met and helps the lead out of a lot of situations. She's also the standard romantic female lead, even if it turns out that being in the “spy” class rather than a ninja or assassin turns out to be more accurate than just looking at the enemies HP. She has a lot of thief and ninja abilities, tending to use back-stab attacks and a dagger. Her ultimate weapon was the Xi dagger, which may seem like an excuse but all the ultimate weapons were named after Greek letters. The weapon dealt more damage if you keep her in the party, but plot rears its ugly head. You see, as mentioned before Xi-Ling betrays you, and occasionally she wouldn't be in the party for certain battles. Not only that, but she even ends up betraying the evil side and losing her life as a result. You eventually get her back, but that's a lot of battles she loses out on and as such it weakens her ultimate weapon. She also has low defense and magic (not that she needs the latter) and lacks a way for healing, but has great speed and luck (I know that as I was into reading solo-ing RPGs back then and as such the characters in the game have an overview xD). Sadly I mostly talked about her gameplay mechanics as I'm not quite sure what Xi-Ling's personality was meant to be. I think that she was supposed to be the comforting older sister-type, which fits with my tastes these days too. She was also likely kind and patient, but other than making reports she slowly opens up to the party rather than trying to betray them. So somewhat like Celes than a true betrayer. Overall I wish that there was a lot more details that I could give about Xi-Ling, but other than explaining a lot of RPG tropes I really can't. There are reasons I don't make games, mostly time issues, but despite what the blogs tell you I'm bad at creating personalities xD (seems my art isn't the only thing that needs improving).
Grade: B-

===Libido==
This area goes into the plot as well. As mentioned before Xi-Ling is the main female lead and as such likely has some sort of romantic scenes. She also has a twin-band combination move, which is like a Duel Tech from Chrono Trigger/Cross, with the male lead and my namesake. Surprisingly she's the more physical one of the pair, as he's more of a red mage than a warrior. It's possible that she was a sort of female fatale as well, seducing him which would give her more points for leading (even if she'd have an ulterior motive) but I cannot be certain of that. Still, I'm not a romance writer and especially not back then, so some cute shipping might be all that I can do. Still, Xi-Ling does back out of betraying the party of her own will, mostly for the lead hero. Overall I can't say how lewd or aggressive Xi-Ling is as far as this area goes, but I'm sure that she should do quite well.
Grade: B

===Age===
Technically there's no past canon for this, and it's something that's hard to tell. Such a shame as there are times when I'd write ages, but this wasn't one of them. Still, Xi-Ling is probably a teen or so, as I created her back in high school. She's probably older than I was though, as even back then I liked older girls so it's possible that she's college age or so. Then again I can just state that she's 20 and take her for full points. Sadly that seems like a cheap cop-out, but I will say that she still does pretty well. Xi-Ling also lacks birthday details, but overall she does alright though as a custom character I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
Grade: A-

Total Grades: 68
Average score: 7.6
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for the week. What did you think of it?

: Hmmm, I believe that I could have done better. After all, I am one of your creations.

I mean that's why I can be harsher on you. You're from a... I don't want to say a “dark” period, but certainly a mamocentric one.

: Even then Xi-Ling isn't all that busty though. She could be worse.

I suppose that is fair. And there are other areas where she did worse as well. If only her wonderful panties were more canon, or she had other sexy outfits.

: Like you said that sort of thing wasn't common back then.

True true, but it would help!

: Perhaps we shouldn't talk about your body any longer.

: Oh? Could it be that you're jealous of how large my ass has become?

*Xi-Ling shows off her nearly-bare ass, bending over and arching her back. She also shakes her hips, teasing her panties against the cheek flesh that they barely contained.*

: Not at all, as mine is still bigger!

*Ririchiyo presses against the ninja girl's plump cheeks, the two bouncing and rubbing their asses together. Riri's is still bigger as said.*

: Curses! It would appear that you have bested me once again, and this time in your normal form as well.

: I can't believe that I got caught up in a battle like that. I was only going to say that you need to talk about her mind too, Topaz!

But I already gave her final scores and everything! I did all that!

: I believe she means the discussion like you had with the other areas.

Ah. Well there isn't a lot that I can talk about with personality. I think I explained the plot and how you worked in battle well enough, and that you didn't have too concrete of an idea as far as personality went. I'm not good at that type of thing.

: We've noticed...

Still, I'm sure that people appreciated your sad past of betrayal and reformation.

: Believe me, it was more painful on my side too. I slowly learned how evil those around me were, and I was saved by those I thought were on the wrong side but also betrayed...

It is a difficult type of ordeal I agree, and one that I cannot begin to imagine!

: But you totally did! In fact that's pretty much exactly all you've done!

: Do not worry as I do not mind. I am glad that more people will know the story, and be on the look out for the “Topaz” that is mine.

Which shows your devotion. Once again I hope that people understand the ordeal you went through and that the two of you are likely in love!

: Topaz is the lead in his own story after all, so it is no surprise he'd ship himself with the female lead.

Being fair I didn't know a lot of girls so original girls were the only way this sort of thing would work.

: And that is a fair age, even if it might be a little too vague.

Still works for me, as far as your score. And that's it, your blog is complete!

: I am glad that I allowed you to do this, even if it was as an apology. Knowing that people besides you know me better is very important-

And more than that, I was able to finish the portrait of you!

: B-but didn't you say that you can't draw? What important would a portrait of me be at this point anyway, as the blog is done and-



*Xi-Ling is surprised at the better artwork.*

: W-WHAT IS THIS?

Kisekae! I may not be able to actually draw, but I can at least give you a better image than before!

: Though it is a shame that it doesn't have your gigantic ass (wait, why am I saying that? I should be glad that Topaz isn't being distracted!)

: True, but the image is only from the front anyway. Still, I think I look rather nice...

: Pssst, you're not going to tell her that you basically just changed around the details on that “Tiki” girl of yours?

She doesn't need to know about her measurements, but I'd say that she fills it out pretty nicely.

: Grrr... To think that I would have a picture like this as well...

True. Normally they are only for those that score high, but considering you're my design I felt it was needed.

: If only you could have done the skirt a little better, but with what you had access too and how much better this is over your previous design... I have a gift for you.

*She pulls out a dagger from her sash and places it in Topaz's hands.*

W-what is this? An ultimate weapon of ultimate damage?!

: No silly. It's just a normal weapon that I've since outgrown. May it be useful in your challenges ahead.

: Speaking of challenges ahead, who do you think that you'll be doing next week?

Well, after all the shows for young girls I've been talking about I think it's time to JUMP into a certain magazine and the series therein.

: Topaz, are you sure? You're unfamiliar with a lot of them.

Don't worry. I have enough for a month's worth. And the one upcoming is from a pretty famous series too!

: Interesting. I wonder who it could be.

Well, let's just say that since it's Mother's Day it'll be a mother from a series where mothers are often mentioned to be sexy! This woman is so sexy in fact that even her son couldn't help staring at her fat ass!

: E-excuse me!

Unlike her name I won't be saying that twice, but in all fairness he didn't realize that she was his mother at the time. Still, let's take a deep breath as we look at this woman who is both a mentor and mother!

*With that Topaz ends the blog for the week, luckily not tied up this time around.*

This is the Five-hundred-and-seventieth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz is once again in the room with Monika, as we left last time. She has her hands against her chin, similar to the pose in her picture.*

: I'm not surprised you picked this scene for your blog either, but I suppose it's because you want to take a good look at me.

Being fair there isn't much else to look at. You've gotten rid of any other girls.

: What can I say? I like being THOROUGH...

*Monika smirks in a smug manner.*

: Now, how about we get this blog started? Then you can stop blogging and we can get on with our lives.

I'd rather you just returned me home. Not because I mind being with you, but I miss my assistants.

: Who needs those girls, especially when you've got me? And besides, I deleted them. You'll never be able to go back to the world, as I've patched any glitch that would allow it.

Oh no! I'm three glitches in! Now I'll have to face Old Man Consequences!

: Neither I nor your readers will ever get that reference. And I have no idea how you know that much about a game you're terrified of.

Because strange things fascinate me. That's why I like logic puzzle Mario levels.

: I see. That explains why you get so lazy when it comes to writing the blog. Even when there's nothing else to do. I've got you right where I want you.

I still want to go back!

: WE CAN'T ALL GET WHAT WE WANT!

*Topaz is taken aback by Monika leaning towards him. However, she quickly calms herself down with a cough.*

: I-I mean, ahem. I suppose that you might not give me the points that I deserve.

How dare you look at my notes! I knew that AI would become smarter than humans someday!

: Granted it is not difficult to do...

Only in some mamocentric cases! Though it sounds like you were under some type of mastermind.

: Indeed... *sigh* It is a shame that I will not be able to see, er, Sealed Despair any longer. Though I suppose that with you trapped here I do not need to hide her name.

Exactly, so tell me who sent you!

: I am not going to just push aside my lo-leader like that. But, if through some miracle you manage to break through me and get back to your world you should go see her. I'm sure that she's waiting for you, so take a trip with your assistants to DOT DOT DOT.

DOT DOT DOT? That sounds like a stupid name.

: It is similar to “yadda yadda”, not the proper name. Ahaha, but do not worry, as the proper name is in your memories now.

Cool, I'll be able to use it in dialogue now!

: You and your video game references... But since I've told you something you wanted to know I want you to tell me something I request.

I can't be assured to know it. In fact I'd say that there's a fairly low chance.

: Do not worry, Topaz. I only wish for you to begin your blog.

Wait, you want to hear about it?

: But of course. It is your work, and I wish to know more about myself. Plus being a part of the literature club it may be one of the last new works that will exist in this broken world.

I sure hope not, though I'd rather leave. But I wouldn't want to go without talking about you either, so let's begin!

: Certainly, and I'll begin by saying...



Hey now, you can't introduce yourself! And what's with that selfie-like picture? That's being far too meta.

: Like you haven't broken the fourth wall on occasion yourself. Besides, you need to learn which one of us is in charge. Ahaha~

That sounds both threatening but a little sexy.... But let's get started!

: Agreed. After all, you likely need help with your procrastination. Getting over that initial hurdle and writing can be quite difficult, but if you can create something that you're proud of it raises your spirits. Even better if you create something that lifts others spirits too!

Is that one of your writing tips?

*Monika winks.*

: That it could be, but that one's free~

Good because I wouldn't be able to afford anything else. But let's get going this time!

==Head==
===Hair===
Monika does pretty well in the hair department. She has a very nice brown hair, which is described by her artist as “coral brown” (I've never heard of that specific color, at least from what I can remember) but it's still a nice tan color. She has a long ponytail that goes to her waist or so, though it has a bit of a rise in the back so it's possible that it's even longer. There's some nice strands to it as well, which is a nice bit of detail to make it look less solid. Sadly she doesn't put her hair down, which is unfortunate but not completely troublesome either. Monika also wears a white ribbon in a bow at the base of her ponytail, giving her a little more cuteness. Her side are also long, going about to her chest or so. She has some loose hairs here and there, and she even has hair intakes which are cute. Her bangs are nicely sweeping though not blunt sadly. Finally, due to her sprite graphics in certain poses she might whack people with her long flowing hair (though this is just visual and not brought up in the series itself). Overall with her long brown hair Monika does quite well here, only really losing to Yuri and her purple hair in the series.

: I believe that I was given a mostly-realistic hair color to help play up how different I am compared to the other three heroines.

True, you do stand out even among them.

: Ahaha~ To think that you think of me being so special. Then again, I am the first one from my series that you are discussing. Even if it wasn't by choice.

Well, you are still a great girl with lots to talk about!

: Certainly. And I'm glad that you like my hair as well. It takes a lot of time to wash.

I suppose so, but it looks good.

: Thank you, and I appreciate the good score as well. Ahaha~
Grade: A

===Eyes===
It's kinda hard to tell what Monika's eyes are shaped like as there's not many good close shots. That said, she does look pretty intensely to you during the “Just Monika” sequence which helps out quite a bit. She seems to have a nice tsurime which I enjoy, though again it's harder to tell in the game otherwise. Apparently, like with her hair color being specific, her eyes are “emerald green” which is a little over done (though I do appreciate the gemstone reference, and at least the other girls have different eye colors). It's also her favorite color, but don't think of her as being narcissistic! Monika does have some eyelashes but it looks good with her eye style. In the close up she also has a small black dot in her pupil, though I hadn't noticed until I heard people talking about it. That said, speaking of the issues with the game it is fortunate that Monika doesn't have any troubling moments (unlike Yuri who gets moments of her eye flying off, lacking eyes, or Natsuki whose eyes can pop out of her head, bleed, or just glitch up). Sadly she doesn't wear glasses in the game either. That said, overall Monika does quite well here all things considering.

: Hmmm? I had heard that you liked glasses, but I'm surprised. It is a shame that girls in glasses aren't more well-liked.

I agree, especially when they take their glasses off and they suddenly become seen as more attractive! I mean what's so sexy about putting tiny things in your eyes? Obviously more girls should wear glasses.

: I could wear glasses for you. I mean, it would just be a tease, but I'm sure that I could wear a pair or something. Perhaps, for example, if you were to say you were ending the blog I could spend some time. Then we could discuss glasses more and more, instead of this boring blog of yours.

Nonsense! I may want a glasses-clad, black-haired, skimpily-armored, busty beauty but I wouldn't kill my blog to get her!

: Fine then, you delusional nerd boy. Just get back to the blog.

With pleasure!
Grade: B

===Face===
Considering this game wasn't created in Japan the art looks quite nice. It has a cute and simple charm to it, which makes the painful scenes more painful I suppose. That said, Monika's face is quite nice as are the other girls. Her head is acorn shaped with rounded cheeks, giving a soft appearance. Most of the time she has a small nose, no bigger than a dot or so. As a visual novel she has quite a few cute expressions, and her reserved beauty is quite apparent. And while I mentioned before that Monika doesn't have any issues with her eyes she DOES have a moment with her face. You see, while recording the game with certain devices during her moments alone with the player (the Just Monika section), she takes notice of it. She teases with a jump scare (or in her terms, a “trick), with the screen going close to her face but she says that she's not going to surprise you. She DOES surprise you though, with a strange color palette version of herself with cracks all over her face, strange eyes, and a realistic mouth. Monika then calls you cute and apologizes for it (granted she says that she's embarrassed about you recording it and feels awkward but still). I'm not great with jumpscares though, so this does hurt her a little. That said, overall Monika does quite well, if a little plain.

: Hmmm? I believe that you're recording this blog. Right?

Yes. But on a tape recorder. You shouldn't be able to pick that up, right?

: Yes. It is not one of the programs I can identify. That said... Perhaps your friends wouldn't mind-

I think that they would. Please, don't make them scared.

: I understand. I can get frightened fairly easily sometimes too, especially this time of year. Perhaps we can take an aside and discuss fears?

And give you more ammunition? No thanks! Besides, you're just trying to distract me from the blog!

: And is it working?

I am easily distracted, but when it comes to the blog I'm unstoppable! So let's continue onward!
Grade: B

So what do you think about the blog so far, Monika?

: I quite enjoy it, but it seems that you're not used to me talking within every area. Is this not something that usually happens?

Not at all, though being fair you're not like most girls.

: Ahaha~ Flattery will get you nowhere. And I mean that, as there's no where else for you to go. It's just you and me right now.

I really wish that my assistants were here though...

: Did you not hear what I said? They are gone forever. Deleted from time and space, all to make sure you have no other distractions.

But ANY girl would be great! After all, who am I to do next time?

: Guess you'll just have to cancel the blog. At least if you don't make it out, ahaha~ Then again, if you do you'd probably face Sealed Despair's corpse sister. Or was it “corps”? She was a soldier too...

Sounds interesting... But I wish that there were some girls out there who still remember me...

: Completely understandable. But eventually I know that you will fall for me. Given enough time, after all, ahaha~

True, but how about we continue on with the blog?

: But of course, but I hope that you do not mind me interjecting on occasion?

Certainly not. I like hearing your opinion of my blog.

*With that Topaz continues with his blog. However, across time and space a red-haired heroine is cowering from a psycho and demon. She also has one of her dumplings back.*

: Please, no! Don't eat me!

: There's no need to be scared. We won't bite.

: Oh ho ho? Well, perhaps you wouldn't but I cannot say for sure myself...

*Kurumi licks her lips and Akari gets more frantic.*

: Please, someone save me!

: Relax, she's not going to kill you!

: I suppose not. But where did you come from?

: I-I'm not sure. Some brown-haired ponytail girl pushed me through a portal and now I'm here... Oh, and I was with Topaz too!

*The two other girls approach Akari close.*

: TOPAZ?

: So he IS safe!

: Yeah, but with that girl guarding him we'll never break him free! She has all sorts of super powers and stuff!

: Ara ara, do we not look powerful ourselves? But to say that you came from where Topaz was...

: Does that mean that we have a lead.

: Maybe if we had some thing of hers that exists in both places we could trace it.

: Um, I did lose one of my dumplings. Would that work?

: I think that might just do the trick! And don't worry, as I have the magical energy to locate him. It will just take a short time.

: Well, do you want me to-

: NO! That might become too dangerous! Just let me work in peace...

*Kurumu then creates a summoning circle around Akari's hair dumpling. She starts to work on Topaz's location as we return to the blogger himself.*

==Body==
===Build===
Sadly (or maybe not, considering the subject manner) Doki Doki Literature Club is not a eroge. That means that there's pretty much no perverse scenes in canon, and Monika herself doesn't get cute moments like the other girls either. From what I have heard she's 160 cm tall, which isn't too bad. She also has fairly nice legs, at least when we can see them due to the dialogue box being in the way. Fortunately official art helps though. Monika does lack buttshots which hurts unfortunately. She does have a bending forward pose, but not in any way that you can see things. She also is the type of girl who points quite a bit, especially when giving writing tips. Overall Monika isn't too special here, having a somewhat slender build but on the average size of things and lacks any sort of fanservice.

: That's quite cruel of you. It's not like I was the one who didn't write me a route.

Isn't the game just your route? Or at least the third act?

: N-nonsense! Besides, there was an early build of the game where I DID show a little bit more than I should have. Gosh this sure is embarrassing, but I-I can trust you and your readers, right? I mean, if I link my panty-clad ass like this they won't share it with others...

That's rather kind of you, as I hadn't heard about-WAIT, that's not a picture! That's your jumpscare face!

: So it is, ahaha~

*Monika playfully hits her forehead while sticking her tongue out.*

Don't get my hopes up like that, Monika! I thought that was serious, and you'll bother my readers by giving them false hope!

: Well, I could have linked them the “log out” feature on this site. Then you would have logged out and this blog would end.

That would be insanely trolly! And I won't end this blog until you're finished!

: Try your best, Topaz~
Grade: B-

===Chest===
It's hard to judge breast sizes in this type of game, since as mentioned before it's not an eroge. The girls also mostly wear blazers, making it a little harder to tell. I will say that Monika is about average, seeming close to Sayori and larger than Natsuki but smaller than Yuri. Overall it's not too pointed out, as far as I remember (though Natsuki does mention that Yuri might stuff her bra early on).

: Ahaha~ Like you didn't enjoy that. I know you secretly like big breasts~

I mean I do. It's not much of a secret. I even mentioned it earlier.

: I thought that was just for the Digimon game quote...

Well there is that, but-

: Perhaps you'd like me more if I were to grow-gosh, Topaz. You bring up such pervy subjects... Don't you know that women don't like being treated as objects?

Don't worry, as I understand that. And you shouldn't grow either. You're perfect as you are.

: Even my ass?

...That could always be bigger. But let's not get too off-topic! I have a blog to complete!

: You're so much fun to tease! Ahaha!
Grade: B

===Clothes===
This is probably Monika's worst area, but even then it isn't all that bad. Well, technically it and “body” but regardless the lack of variety is what causes her problems. She only has her school uniform which consists of a “warm grey” blazer over a brown sweater vest which in turn is over a white collared shirt. She has a red ribbon by her neck, and on bottom she wears a dark blue pleated skirt. She also wears black thighhighs which look good (and she's the only one that wears the black variety too). She also wears white uwabaki slippers with pink tips. Overall Monika's outfit doesn't look bad but she really needs more, especially because the other girls are seen in casual outfits too.

: Such a shame that they didn't make a casual outfit for me too. But hey, if you know any artists that can draw they can put me in any sort of outfit! Just... try to keep it PG. Ahaha~

I do know a lot of artists, but I wouldn't ask them to draw you. Mostly because I'm poor and they'd probably ask for money.

: Well, I suppose that I could always go home with you. I believe that you were gifted a cosplay hall some time ago, and I'd be able to wear all sorts of outfits. Come on, let's forget all about this blog and spend some time together. In private of course, so that our relationship may blossom.

I'm not interested in our relationship blossoming! Though I would mention that your “official” twitter does have you in a few sundresses which are cute.

: Thank you. Does that help out?

Sadly no, as they're not drawn by the official artist. At least I think not...

: Unfortunate. I could always use a little better score. Though I think that I'll jut be getting better and better!

We'll have to see about that. Though speaking of which I do suppose that the company's store does have a couple of posters with her in other outfits, including shorts, a tank top, and coat and holding an umbrella if that counts.
Grade: B-

: It is such a shame that you're being picky with my outfits, yet you allow official images for other girls.

It's a bit harder when your art isn't done by an anime or the original artist. I suppose I might be being a little picky in this case, but even then you do really well with your clothes! And other features too!

: That is a relief. I was thinking that you might be too harsh on me.

*Topaz hears a distant voice calling out to him.*

Hmm? You say something else?

: It is rude to not listen, Topaz. Though being fair it is more likely that you forgot what I said.

True. I am quite forgetful.

*Topaz hears the distant voice yet again.*

You sure you aren't saying something? Like in a whisper?

: No. Are you feeling alright? I'm sure that I can take care of you nicely.

I don't like where you put that that emphasis-YEEK!

*Suddenly Topaz feels a sharp pain in his back, as if someone shot him. He jumps in surprise.*

: Something wrong?

It felt like something bit me, or worse. Mind if I go to the bathroom to figure this out?

: There should be no insects in this world of ours, Topaz. But if you insist perhaps I forgot one or two...

Right, like how you forgot Akari.

: True, but I returned her. That way Zettai can discuss her next time.

That's a different Akari. Anyway, I think I'll check on this...

*Topaz limps to the bathroom, as while his leg is recovering it's still too much for his full weight. He gets into the stall and feels around his back. There is no hole, but Topaz does feel an impression of a bullet.*

Huh... This reminds me of Kurumi's bullet... But it can't be.

: Ara ara, why not?

*Topaz jumps again, though Kurumi is nowhere to be seen. It is as if she was just in his mind. Meanwhile she's talking through the radio that she had been fixing up.*

K-KURUMI?!

: Certainly. But stay quiet. Monika may not be able to hear me, but talk too loud and she might overhear.

Are you girls safe?

: Indeed.

: I blame Kurumi. She wanted you to find out where the mastermind was, and thought to use you as bait.

W-wait, bait?

: Precisely. I'd make a pun about how you did your job masterfully, but such humor is under me.

Not under me though!

: There's no time for poor jokes, Topaz! We need to tell you how to defeat Monika!

: That and reassure you that we're safe!

Oh, so Akari is there too?

: Yes. Her dumplings are acting like soup cans relaying out message right now. And thanks to my dimensional spirit powers and Kurumu's magic we were able to get in contact with you.

Thanks for explaining this all to me, but I believe that you had a way to defeat her?

: That we do. If you unplug the computer her program is running on she'll disappear for good. Then you'll *coughhopefullycough* come back to us. Riri and the others will return too.

: As I was exploring the school I thought I saw a computer in the computer hall! Well, that should be obvious but there was a big fancy-looking one now.

That must be it. I'll try to get there soon!

: Be careful, as Monika is quite smart!

I can tell, but I'm far smarter! But we should keep this brief. Otherwise she might get suspicious.

: Indeed. And take care!

I will.

*With that the communication between the two was cut. Topaz gets up, but as he leaves the boy's room he's surprised to see Monika right in front of the door.*

M-Monika! What a pleasant surprise!

: I don't see why this was a surprise, as it was boring in the room alone. So who were you talking to in there?

*Monika comes close, glaring at Topaz. Fortunately he's able to maintain his composure.*

W-what do you mean talking? There's no one here but me and you!

: That's what I thought too, but then Akari had to be sent back. Now, you weren't talking to someone? Communicating to them over dimensions?

N-no! How would I ever do something like that?

: Fine, I shall take your word. But let us hurry to the Literature club. I would like to hear you finish the blog.

S-sounds good!

*Topaz looks down the hall and sees the computer room that Akari spoke of. However, Monika pulled him the other way, back to the club room. She wasn't going to give him a chance to leave again, and has him him sit back on his seat.*

: There. Now without whatever silly distraction that was you can complete the blog. Go right ahead, and do your last sections.

*Monika sits down herself, turning around and rocking in the chair.*

Well then, let's finish up the blog...

==Mind==
===Personality===
Monika is an amazingly unique character. She has a lot of little quirks and interests that most girls couldn't compare to, though that's helped by having many topics to talk with her about during the “Just Monika” sequence. Anyway, in the beginning Monika is portrayed as a smart, confident, and popular girl as well as being beautiful. She created the literature club to help people out, and is kind and compassionate. She gives out a lot of writing tips, and tips in general about how to act. She sadly doesn't have a route (or does she?), but she is also knowledgeable of the fourth wall and knows that she's in a game. As a result she starts messing with the data, even “crashing” the program at one point. Monika also alters the other characters, amplifying their weaknesses while making it look like she's the only normal person around. However, as a result of this they often self-destruct and kill themselves.

: It wasn't my fault! Those parameters should have had warning labels!

Didn't you do it on purpose to my assistants?

: Did I? Ahaha, I suppose that I did, but that's fine. After all, they were just game characters. I mean, you've killed plenty of game characters before, haven't you?

But they felt real!

: Humans are such strange people, I suppose.

Anyway, putting that aside Monika is the main “villain” of the game. Not out of cruelty, but because she wants to be with the player. She's very devoted to the player, and by that I mean the player and not the protagonist either. I'd call her a yandere, but she specifically says that she's not in that dialogue option (though she says that Yuri is one. Granted she does use knives but she doesn't hurt anyone outside herself). She does wonder if Yuri would like the situation she's in too. That said, it's just an effect of the isolation of being a game character (she's deeply affected when you turn off the game and come back, saying that the game being closed is like being in hell). So it's more that she was driven to that point. To defeat her you have to delete her character file in the game files, and it'll restart with the ending sequence (where Monika saves you at the last minute). Don't do it too early or you'll cause someone to hang herself and it's a very cruel and sad ending. I do like how she enjoys a lot of things, though sadly her Smash Bros dialogue was removed in an update. Some other little things include her talking about being a vegetarian (more to lower her carbon footprint than moral reasons), being creative, horror movies and games, and many, many other topics. She's a very interesting character reading through all these, and it gives a lot more character than from an average character. She also talks about playing the piano and writing a song for you through the series, played during the end credits. Speaking of which, Monika is voiced by Jillian Ashcraft but I say that more out of curiosity than anything else. Still, overall I do like Monika quite a bit as she's a fascinating character and the fandom is just adding more topics to talk to her about which is really interesting.
Grade: A-

===Libido==
Monika is a little unusual here, if the previous area didn't give a hint. She is very possessive of the player, to the point of eliminating all competition and distractions to be with you. She even mentions that she might get jealous of other dating sim girl games if you prefer them. She also teases when you ask for a kiss, but as said before she says that the relationship is merely “PG” right now. Monika does have some cute ideas as to how romance goes, and is happy to share them with you. While she's not too overly perverse, she does seem to have a somewhat strong libido as far as having the player in a relationship with her (regardless of gender). Overall she does fairly average here, though like I said a while ago this isn't an eroge.

: Technically I do have a date poster, like the other girls, but it is a shame that you don't count merchandise... So sad.

It's alright. You're still doing quite well even just counting just the game information.

: Indeed. After all, you don't know the true feelings I have for J-No, I almost said too much information again. Ahaha~

I know! You nearly said my true name!

: … Yes, that is precisely what I intended.

*Monika looks to the side, still rocking in her chair.*

: Perhaps before I leak too much information how about we get to the last area of the blog?

Sounds like a good idea. We're almost done!
Grade: B

===Age===
I don't think that there's anything in the game itself, at least from what I saw, that indicates the age of Monika (as well as the other characters). Fortunately the creator did specify that all the characters in the game are over 18, and considering they're in high school this is at least possible. That said, considering this is an American-made game I wonder if that was said out of fear rather than that was the intended age of the character. Still, Monika does pretty well here using this information. Oh, and her birthday is September 22nd, the day that the game came out.

: Such a shame that you weren't able to celebrate my birthday last week. We could have had a cake!

But isn't the cake a lie?

: Ahaha, I heard of that silly joke. Memes are fairly interesting things. After all, it's similar to having a song stuck in your head. Almost anything can become a meme, and it's usually not intentional either. I wish that my poetry could become “meme”-like.

To be fair I think a lot of things about you are fairly memetic...

: You've got a point there, but I'm still wishing I had more reference humor like you. I mean, you don't worry about people getting your jokes, while my creator took out a topic because he says that three million people wouldn't get it. Isn't that astonishing?

What, because I have so few readers?

: Well, I know how you can easily solve that. Just stop writing blogs, even though I guess they are a form of “literature”. But poetry is far better!

We'll see about that, as it's about time to finish up!
Grade: A-

Total Grades: 77
Average score: 8.6
Final Grade: B+

*The camera is looking at Monika, smirking now that her blog is done. She is rocking her chair while Topaz continue speaking behind him (though he's obscured by the chair.*

And with that the blog is over! What do you think?

: Hmm. I did fairly well, though I was expecting more. No matter, as you'll soon realize how truly perfect I am. You'll give me scores, even if I have to hack into the blog itself to give me the points.

True, as I thought you did well too. Especially in certain areas!

: Yes yes. There are areas where I did quite well. But I shall not hold my flaws against you, as I'll-

*Topaz interrupts Monika very rudely.*

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do better next time!

: T-that has nothing to do with my worries, Topaz. What are you talking about?

That's right, Riri! She does a great job as expected!

: Riri?! She's not even here! What's going on here-TOPAZ!

*Monika turns around and sees that Topaz is gone. In his place is the scarecrow, with the tape recorder around its neck.*

Hey, Monika. If you're still falling for this do you mind rewinding the tape? I need more time to escape.

*Monika's eyes glow green, and she slashes at the scarecrow. She cuts it in half, with straw going all over.*

: You're in DEEP trouble now, Topaz.. Once I find you, that's IT. Not only that, but if you're in the hallway I'll just trap you in an endless corridor!

*She opens the door so quickly it slams. She looks around and doesn't see Topaz anywhere.*

: Hmmm, seems like he got away quicker than expected. He must be used to the limp by now, but truly this is a horror movie trope isn't it... Only I'm not a monster. I have TECHNOLOGY!

*Monika looks at her watch, which has a “Topaz detector” on it.*

: Heh, to think that you forgot about this little ability of ours. Let's see you deal with THIS!

*Monika slams open a door, but a quick look around the room shows that there is no one around.*

: Ah, hiding I see. Do not worry, as I'm quite good at getting what I want... And you're not getting away from me that easily!

*She searches the classroom, looking in the garbage bin. However, her eyes become narrow when she notices the insect that Yomi had implanted in Topaz in the garbage. What she doesn't see is Topaz in the background, hobbling over from another classroom to the science hall. She looks up just after he ducks into the room.*

: You're more clever than I expected, Topaz... But it's not like you can go far with that leg of yours. I'll catch up to you, and then send you to eternal torment in the screaming abyss! So run run while you can, Ahaha~

*Monika decides to use her manipulation abilities to search for topaz. She heads to the science hall, following his signal. Topaz is hidden under a table, with a sheet and some stones on top. Monika gets so close that he can see her legs and black thighhighs, and she pulls the sheet off.*

: A-HA!

*However, Monika is disappointed as the stones are actually the gemstone “topaz”. She lets out a sigh of frustration.*

: I knew that I should have fine-tuned this. All I found was “topaz” and not TOPAZ. He must be in one of the other rooms...

*She then takes off, even if had she looked back she would have seen Topaz hidden under the table. He thanks Akari's presence concealment in his mind, and after Monika has entered another room he gets out from under the table. He slowly hobbles to the next room, having passed through the science hall. Surprisingly he was there, with a laptop humming in the center. It's plugged into an outlet as well.*

That must be the computer the girls told me about. Now all I have to do is turn-

: Did you really think that it would be that easy.

*Monika smiles, waving her finger. However, her face seems to have an expression of anger and intimidation to it.*

W-what? I thought I gave you the slip!

: Please. It was obvious that you somehow got a tip that messing with my computer would send you back. I'm hurt though. I thought we had such a good time together.

I can't say that it was terrible, but even if I like you I can't stay here. I have to go to the real world!

: Sealed Despair told me to keep you here, and I shall not betray her trust!

You don't have to. All I have to do is get there and turn off that computer!

*Topaz tries to run off, but even without his limp Monika glitches forward and on top of him. Fortunately the blogger wasn't tele-fragged, as she was literally on top of him and pins him to the ground. She even gets him in a wrestling move.*

MMPPH! How did you know these sorts of things?

: Once you live through one or two time cycles you start picking up unusual hobbies and interests. But it looks like your time is up. I'll drag you back to the literature club and lock you inside. I'll be your only visitor, and your days shall be peaceful with no responsibilities.

I can't live like that! H-HELP! SOMEONE!

: Ahaha~ Scream all you want. No one is going to listen to YOU.

*Topaz slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out Akari's dumpling. He grips it tightly, making Monika cautious.*

: What are you doing this time, Topaz? Holding onto the last item another girl gave you? If you're not careful I'll start getting jealous. Or could it be that you'd prefer that?

No... This is just to bring forth a summon! I'll use the mana Akari was storing and GO!

: WHAT!

*Monika was surprised to see Topaz successfully pull off a summon. However, she became relieved when the only one summoned was the crumpled remains of a certain formerly blogged girl. Her limbs except one arm seemed broken as they were earlier, and she was fading in and out of existence.*

: Urrhhh?

: Ahaha! To think that your last hope is that mess of trashed body parts. I bet she can't even move, and there's no way that she can fight me like that! Now, let's go back to the club room.

: Bwwaaarrrr?

*Berserker sits up, watching as Monika continues to pin Topaz down and pull him out of the room. She couldn't move to rescue him, as she was summoned across the room and near the laptop. This gave Topaz the idea he needed.*

So... You're saying that we won't be in this room any more?

: Of course not. I want to stay with you and only you!

I doubt I'm even the one that you want to impress!

*Monika is shocked to hear that, as if it was the truth. Still, she shakes her head.*

: O-of course you are! There's no one else for me, especially in this broken world of ours! Now, let's get going.

You hear that? We're leaving!

: Yes yes. It's good to hear that you're more agreeable.

I wasn't talking to you, Monika.

: Well then, who else would you be.. talking... to...

*Topaz points to Berserker, who was currently trying to grab the plug to the laptop with her good arm. Monika's eyes become wide in fear.*

: NO NO NO! You can't unplug that! Stop that this instant!

You're doing a good job, Berserker! Do your thing!

*Monika and Topaz spin around, with the villain trying to break free to stop Berserker while Topaz is holding her down. It was the exact opposite of what was going on earlier, and Berserker has a big smile as she pulls the plug. As it emerges completely the screen cuts out, as if a television was turned off.*

This is the Five-hundred-and-forty-seventh week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz is still inside the sunken station, with a religious girl fighting off monsters.*

: You know, this would be a lot easier if you'd join me... Pant... Feng Shui isn't meant to attack, and even then I'm not good at it either...

That's alright. You're fending off the monsters easier than I could. I was banned from Ayano and I'm unable to use any of my powers.

: That's really convenient you know! Or is it that you're being lazy, hmmmm?

While that is a reasonable idea it's not the case this time. Though I'm curious why we're destroying our way through the enemy forces, and where she got them in the first place.

: Apparently The Sealed Despair gave her a powerful core to help protect her. It would seem to be excess, but it does give us a chance to collect these drop items.

*Eun-Sil picks up a few items after destroying a monster, holding them up for Topaz to see.*

Trinkets! Hurray?

: I am not surprised you do not know what these are. These are going to be useful to collect, as they will be helpful in the final fight.

That sounds like useless grinding. I hate this event. Why can't we go back to just having basic fun anymore?

: Because your enemies are getting stronger, and we need all the help we can get! Especially if we're going to save the others!

Good point! And since these are so useful...

*Topaz picks up a huge amount of dropped items, and his companion looks at him in disbelief.*

: Wait just a- How were you able to find THAT many drops! Especially since you weren't fighting!

Well, they were just laying over there. It seemed that no one wanted them...

: Put them back! Those are drops that belong to someone else!

But they were just laying them. Maybe it was a treasure for us?

: Unlikely. Besides, there's probably other people playing this game too.

I regret to inform you that I'm the only one in charge of this blog, and I'm sure that my readers have no idea what I'm talking about...

: Good for them not playing terrible games. That said, I'm sure that they'll be bored if I'm just defeating weak monsters. And I'm not about to face bigger ones.

We're going to have to someday! I'm sure that the girls this week are in trouble by the biggest and most significant ones!

: *Sigh* They probably are... But then what else can we do but farm drops?

I can use my blog to bolster you! I mean, that's what my readers are here for.

: Your.. OH YES! That is a good point! Though are you sure that I'm the right type of person for your blogs?

Well, there might be some things that cause problems, but I'm sure that you're perfect! But you do have to agree to it first.

: Well then, if it powers me up go right ahead!

Sounds like I've got the alright, and I hope that you're in the mood for Feng Shui because...



: HEY! What gives? How come my pictures and information introduction is so much different from the other girls?

That's mainly because MAL lacks a page for your manga, let alone your character. It's a shame that it's so difficult to find Manhwa, especially as yours goes through many different translations. There's ones with “Hahri” or calling your place “Lumpy”. It's hard to get a straight answer, and the fact that you're from a “webtoon” from Korea doesn't help either.

: Huh, and all this time I thought that the author was “Australian”.

That's just a nickname for the writer “Gaehoju”. But at least I was able to find a page for you to link to!

: True. But enough distractions! Let's get to blogging, I want to hear about me!

==Head==
===Hair===
Eun-Sil has pretty alright hair, though it could be better. The grey color looks relatively nice, though it may have some slight brown shade to it as well (though there's nothing wrong with that). It does seem short, but that's because she has a dreaded side-tail. At least it goes pretty far, reaching about to her shoulder or a little past. The side tail, even if it's pulling her hair back a little, doesn't look too bad but it would help if she let it down at some times (considering they could have done the librarian-esque thing where she puts down her hair and shakes it around that would have been fairly sexy). Her bangs are alright as well, having a zig-zag but near blunt bangs does look nice. Eun-Sil's sidetails also go to her cheeks, which isn't bad either. Overall that's a good way to describe her hair, not bad but without anything noteworthy to it.
Grade: B-

===Eyes===
Eun-Sil's eyes are pretty good, with a nice shape and color. It's a brownish color, and while it's a little bland combined with her grey hair it's not a problem due to the whole series being colored. Like most of the characters in the series she has a dot in the center, showing off the art style. Eun-Sil's eyes are mostly rounded, but in a tsurime way. At least from what I can tell, and the picture does make her seem to have a straight line but still. She does have a really great upper lid that you can see in the picture though, as well as her nice corner. Sadly Eun-Sil doesn't wear glasses, but in general she still does pretty good. She does get spiral eyes while affected by yin energy which is kinda unfortunate.
Grade: B-

===Face===
Eun-Sil's face is pretty good as well. She's got some nice expressions and blush, showing a lot of character through her emotions. Her ears even have some blush to them, which is cute. The art style is pretty simple but I mean that in a good way. Her nose is a line or caret arrow, which isn't bad because it's mostly small. Her head is acorn-shaped, with some nice cheeks and a nice contour to it. Overall pretty good, though she could be a little better I suppose.
Grade: B

*Eun-Sil is looking at her hands, though her whole body seems to be glowing in an aura of sorts.*

: W-what's going on? I feel stronger than ever!

That's the power of my blog, and it appears that being in this strange area is amplifying it even more.

: This is astounding! Truly the pinnacle of Feng Shui! Come now, Topaz! Let us beat up everyone in our path!

*With that Eun-Sil grabs Topaz's hand and pulls him through a group of enemies. They go flying upward, exploding into drop items. The blogger scoops them up into a large sack.*

Slow down, Eun-Sil! We're losing valuable drops!

: Those don't matter any more! Come, let's head straight for where Ayano is lurking!

Wait, you know where she is?

: Well, it should be obvious. She's at the control area, and since the station is shaped like her body...

Oh! The brain no doubt!

: Try again.

...Heart?

: She is VERY perverse.

Oh. THERE... *rolls eyes.* Well then, where are we?

: It looks like we're still in the head. I think you were brought to the eye, and we're near the brain now. It should take a while to get to the command area, so you might want to blog.

I don't know, there does look like there's a lot of powerful creatures around.

: I'm sure that I can take them! ANY OF THEM!

*As Eun-Sil poses in the large room a monstrous giant looms over the duo. The two look back as it moans loudly.*

: GWWWAAAAAAHHHH!

*Both Eun-Sil and Topaz twitch at the gigantic creature.*

W-well, you said that you could take any. Enjoy your fate.

: N-no, destroying such a creature would be a waste of my talents. I-I mean, I doubt that he even knows what Feng Shui is!

: GGGTTTHHHHAAAARRRRTTTTT

*The two are nearly stunned by the giant's roar. However, Topaz pulls Eun-Sil away just in time for both of them to avoid a slam from one of it's arms.*

Quick! We've got to make like a Golisopod and run away!

: Isn't that doing things the Wimp-od way?

*The giant once again slams its hands near the two are standing, making both jump.*

Still saying that?

: N-not at all! Let's go!

*The two rush into a nearby closet. However, inside is a panicked girl, who writes down with a goofy look to her face. She then looks very beautiful as she holds up her paper.*

: W-what are you doing here?

S-SHOUKO! Am I glad to see you!

: Shhh! We don't want that creature to find us! Don't talk too loud!

I don't think that's a problem for her. No offense, of course.

: None taken.

: And I must say, if this is the type of girl you like blogging I can see why you continue with this! She's the prettiest! Come on, let's have some fun!

*Shouko flusters from Eun-Sil's proposal, but Topaz gets between the two.*

Is this really the time for that, Eun-Sil?

: S-sorry. That's my series coming through, and the fact that we're trapped in a virtual submarine of lust isn't helping.

: Do not worry. I understand.

: THANK YOUU!!

*Eun-Sil hugs Shouko, surprising and flustering the TDB. While she's happy she has a new friend, the loud thanks alerted the giant. It picks up the whole closet and dumps them all out. Fortunately they are safe, at least for now.*

: Oh no! We're going to DIE!

I don't think that we're going to die. Something amazing is going to happen, or you're going to gain enough power to blow him away!

: I'd have to charge up for a few minutes, but you'll have to distract him while I do it!

That sounds strangely familiar, but I can't distract him! What, do you think I'll put on a grass skirt and do the hula?!

*Time passes.*

That was just a second, and I'm still not dancing. Besides, I'm powerless as it is.

: But I don't think that... Shouko, was it? She can't distract the beast.

*Shouko, with her cute face shakes her head “no” before writing on her paper.*

: Me?!

*The titan looms forward, as if looking at the paper. He points to each individual letter.*

: M... E...

Wait... Shouko, write something else?

: What do you want me to write?

: No no, you're supposed to write the words “Something else”, like he said. Otherwise that's just a missed opportunity.

: My apologies.

: A... P... O... L... O... G... I... E... S...

I thought as much! The titan is taking his time reading Shouko's dialogue! Quick, keep writing and he'll have trouble keeping up!

: ON IT!

: O... N... I... T...

: And I'll charge my attack too! But what are you going to do?

What I do best-

: Sit there and be useless, ke heh heh...

Nope! By that I mean that I'm going to continue my blog!

==Body==
===Build===
There are some issues with Eun-Sil, but I'll discuss those later. You can probably guess that she's mamocentric, judging by that, but wait a little as she's not completely unfair either. She has some good naked scenes that show off her body. Sadly the series doesn't have measurements, but she still looks good. Eun-Sil has a nice waist and a pretty good ass (though sadly she doesn't use it other than feeling the male lead pressing against it. I suppose other characters have anal but still). Her ass could be bigger, but her cheeks do have a nice roundness to them. The manhwa is censored, meaning that Eun-Sil's genitalia as well as anus are censored with white censors (though I have to wonder if the original versions, as in the ones that the artist drew, have them on already like if it was a separate layer in Photoshop or something.) Finally, for some reason I always think of Eun-Sil having darker skin than she actually does, which is strange as she pretty much has the same skin tone as the other characters. Might be because of her hair color, but I can't be sure. Still, despite her issues Eun-Sil does pretty well, though she should have done more with her ass.
Grade: B-

: Da da dadada I'm a charging my attacks...

: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

: T... I... M... E... S...

You know, even I think that this picture is ridiculous. But I shouldn't think too hard about it as the plan is working...

===Chest===
As mentioned prior Eun-Sil does have an issue here. She's likely the bustiest character in the series, and the others aren't exactly slender either. She's so big that the lead Won-Young calls her “gigantic”, though in the grand scheme of things she's not all that big. In a flashback where Eun-Sil is talking about the trouble she's had because of her chest her bra pops open, but it was a relatively short scene. She does show her nipples, which I find a double standard since they censor her anus but censorship is really dumb. Now, I could probably give her a little leeway due to this series being a hentai, but considering out of the (approximately) three paizuri in the series Eun-Sil takes part in two of them (one solo and the other with another girl). She definitely has an issue with this, from what I can tell. Granted, as I'll mention later, she does other things in addition, but she's definitely the “breast” girl as far as fanservice in the series goes.
Grade: D+

: Call me Ishmal...

: I... S... H... M... A... L...

: Do do dododo... I'm a charging my attack.

===Clothes===
Unfortunately Eun-Sil doesn't have much variety. She usually only wears a single outfit, which looks a little like a miko (though, considering her character, is likely more of a Feng Shui master outfit). Still, it consists of a white shirt with black highlights and a buttoned front, and under that she wears a black (or at least dark grey) skirt. Under this she wears normal panties and a sarashi, the latter being that she bursts out of bras as mentioned before. Shame she doesn't wear a fundoshi though. About the only exception is when she's first introduced and the other girls think she's a thief and picture her in a tight bodysuit (which isn't bad as it shows her ass a little). Overall Eun-Sil really needs more variety to her, and it's a shame we don't see her in more casual clothes.
Grade: B-

*By the time Topaz finishes this section Shouko is panting, her arms feeling tired from writing so much.*

Shouko! Are you alright?!

*She continues to pant, but gives a thumbs up with her her serious face.*

That's good to hear. How about you?

: I'm ready to fire whenever!

*Eun-Sil then points her finger at the giant, but Shouko gets in the way.*

: Move! I don't want you to get hurt!

: S-STOP! This giant is one of my friends now!

He's a friend? And I'm glad that you are still able to write!

*Komi nods and then speaks in her beautiful voice.*

: Please...

: Aww man! Now I REALLY can't blast him!

Isn't he dangerous though? I thought he was ready attack?

: He just wanted a friend...

: F... R... I... E... N... D...

*The giant nods its “head” after reading Shouko's words. Eun-Sil and Topaz are surprised at how docile it is, but they don't mind.*

Well, I suppose that we beat him one way or another.

: I guess, but now I'm all powered up with nothing to blast! Do you know how pent-up I feel right now?

As pent up as if your dog kept walking in when you're trying to- er, never mind. We should get going!

: That's right, we have to find the others! You coming with us, Shouko?

*Shouko's cat ears appear and she looks pumped.*

Good to hear, or I suppose “see”. Let's get going!

*Topaz, Eun-Sil, and Shouko then travel down to the stomach, having a silly map screen with the dashed line as they travel.*

Looks like we're about halfway down here. I'm surprised that we haven't seen any other girls.

: They must be hiding like Shouko was... Wait, what's THAT?

*As they look down a hallway they see a girl with a shinai fighting off several floating blades. They clink against the shinai, as if it were also metal but that's just for emphasis.*

: CLINK CLINK!

: Who ho ho! What kind o' dream could THIS be? I mean, I often think of kendo, but this is just crazy! I'd much rather dream about Maa-kun anyway... Er, um.

*Megumi blushes as she continues to fight the blades off with her shinai, crossing swords with them. Even though they dive from all angles she manages to intercept them.*

: SWOOP! DIVE! VROOM!

: KIAI! KOTE! MEN!

*She keeps countering the blows, causing the blades to get angry. They then spread out, flying towards Megumi all at once.*

: Well, I can't say that I've fought multiple people at once before, but I'm up for the challenge! MATCH POINT!

*Megumi takes a step, but before the blades could get any closer they're blasted by a laser of Feng Shui energy.*

: PHEW! That was a close one!

I know! Megumi nearly got stabbed!

: Y-yeah. I mean with her, and not me getting to the breaking point.

*The three head towards Megumi, who is fuming.*

: Awww! Tokkun! I coulda totally taken them out by myself!

You might have been able to, but we don't have time for that!

: And not just because the match is timed either.

: Still though! I wanted to take care of them yourself!

: We're just glad that you're alright!

*Shouko has her cat ears and a blush as she cutely holds her book out in front of her. Megumi fortunately calms down.*

: Well, I suppose that I can't take care of everything by myself. That's what a team is for!

*Megumi rustles Shouko's hair between her cat ears, but the quiet girl looks surprised. With a glint in her eyes Megumi swings around, and with a single blow while drawing her shinai slashes at the still-alive blade that was only grazed by the attack.*

: CRASH TINKLE!

*It falls to pieces, much like the others. Drops appear, and Eun-Sil collects them.*

: Y-you don't mind these, right? I can totally take them?

: Aww, Tokkun! Did you pick up a drifter?

: I'm not a drifter or freeloader! I'm a Feng Shui master!

: Feng Shui masters can shoot lasers?

I think that's a blog-only ability. Anyway, we should really get going. We have to find Ririchiyo before it's too late!

: I thought someone was missing!

: D-don't forget to continue your blog too, Topaz!

Thank you for reminding me. And this will give me something to do while we're traveling!

: Indeed! Now more people can recognize how great I am!

==Mind==
===Personality===
Eun-Sil is a bit difficult to describe, and not just because this is a hentai series and thus a lot of information is in the area below. I mean, there is some there but the series is chapter-based with continuity so it's at least a good hentai series for characters. Eun-Sil is a late comer to the apartments where the lead Won-Young gets tricked into watching over by a girl he liked (though he ends up falling for the girl's older sister instead). She gets sent to investigate why people are so strange there, though she underestimates what's going on. You see, the apartment is built on several leylines and power spots, but the side effect of that is that there's a strange energy called the “yin hole” that exists on the property. It has the ability to manipulate whoever breathes it to become overcome with lust (though they won't die if they don't have sex, unlike what Eun-Sil was tricked to believe). Eun-Sil does give reports on it, but eventually she has a hand in shutting the place down (though the tenants seem to stick together). In a good way, of course, as she had powerful evidence about who truly owns the building. Other than that though, Eun-Sil tends to keep to herself (well, when not bored) and is a bit of a freeloader. I suppose it makes sense that she doesn't get a lot of screentime due to being hentai and each girl getting their own “sexy” arc, but I wouldn't mind Eun-Sil to have a little more characterization. I'd say that she's silly and a little overconfident, but there isn't all too much to go on and that may just be due to how she was introduced. She is a Feng Shui master, and was the cheapest one on an online auction that they could get (though considering she's self-taught she doesn't seem to be as useful as she could be). Still, I do like Eun-Sil and not just for the perversion. It just could have helped if she was developed more.
Grade: B-

===Libido==
Eun-Sil is the type of girl who steadily increases here. At first she's very reserved, but thanks to the power of the yin hole she gets put in a situation where she can't quite control herself. Even at first she's reluctant to have sex, saying that three seconds is enough (even having the translators describe the Korean version of the five-second-rule). She's also concerned that the lead will rape her, as she's tied up because the other girls catch her and think she's a thief (he's able to free her though). Still, the two have intercourse at that point. I'm not a fan of forced or drugs or magical situations, but this wasn't as bad as some of them. It helps that, after the first situation, Eun-Sil becomes more alright with it. She even weaponizes the gas in the yin hole, using it on the other girls to play with them though she seems to like the male lead the best. Still, she's not completely dedicated to him and has yuri fun with the other girls. In other words, in an odd way Eun-Sil becomes dominant even though it took a little bit of courage for her to open up. Or that's at least what I think of it. From what I can tell, the positions she has in the series include paizuri (as mentioned earlier), doggystyle with her upper half against the ground, oral, and scissoring. Overall she does pretty well, even if again she could have used some ass fun.
Grade: A-

===Age===
I'm not sure how old Eun-Sil is. They may have said, but I can't remember sadly. She does seem to be college-age, as that would be similar to the other tenants (outside the token loli, I suppose). It is also an eromanga with an official English release (online, at least), which may give a good indication that she's at least 18. Overall pretty good but I would have liked some concrete information.
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 65
Average score: 7.2
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the week. What did you think of that, Eun-Sil?

: Huh, I was expecting that I'd get higher...

: Tokkun musta been rough on you as you seem to be mamocentric.

At least you do pretty well personality-wise for a girl from a hentai series. And just because you score low doesn't mean I don't like you.

*Shouko holds up her notepad.*

: Do you like me even if I did well?

But of course! There's very few girls that I'd dislike, and the scores just point out which girls are more my taste. But enough of that, we should get going!

*Topaz looks around.*

So where about are we?

*Eun-Sil looks around with her hand over her eyes.*

: It looks like we're around the heart.

: Wait, weren't we just at the stomach? And heading down?

I'd make a joke about this being the quickest way, but that's an obvious joke.

: TOKKUN! WATCH OUT!

: GRRRR!

*A four-legged beast attempts to attack Topaz, but a familiar scythe-wielding girl slays it in one hit.*

Holy critical hits, Batman!

: F-finally I find you, Topaz! Where were you?

: We were going around farming for various drops. Why?

And helping out the others too!

: So I was the one you found last on PURPOSE?

Don't blame me! Blame the storyline pointing me in the wrong direction all the time!

: That's quite a weapon you have...

: Thank you, Megumi. It's a scythe.

That it is-wait, didn't we find out that you use a naginata?

: Well, I've been using this for so long in your blogs that I might as well start using it. Consider it a difference between me and my canon self.

: Wait, why would you change weapons?

: I don't know. I blame Topaz making the mistake some time in the past and never correcting it. Not that I mind, as the scythe is a good weapon.

Indeed. Just look at that critical damage!

: x4 damage! Not only that, but I imagine that scythes are more common at least in Western campaigns so magical versions are easier to get.

That and you look cool!

: Are you sure that Topaz just didn't get confused with a certain Specter or something?

: I'm not about to grind on my scythe, if that's what you're talking about.

: Heh heh... grind...

: Oh grow up...

Heh heh... grind...

: Stop being a bad example, Topaz! Don't you have something better to do than giggle at non-jokes?

You're right! We have to go down south to battle with Ayano! So we'll head that way and meet you all there!

: Heh... It would be the first time HE'S ever been there too...

: I said grow up! Act your age, especially in front of students!

*Eun-Sil looks at Shouko and Megumi, who are both incredibly flustered. She sighs at this.*

: Fine then. But do be warned that Ayano will be a powerful boss.

So were those enemies, and look at how quickly we took care of them! But don't worry! We'll do the grinding offscreen, so we'll be fully powered next time!

*Eun-Sil giggles at that line, only to have Ririchiyo shoot a death gaze at her to make her to stop. This is all watched by Ayano, in her command center, on one of her screens.*

: Oh ho ho. Try all you want, Topaz. You'll never be able to reach me with that rag-tag group of characters! Especially since you're forgetting one of the girls you did this month. Do not worry, as I haven't forgotten you Lorem. I'll bring her forth, and with her power it'll be a one-sided battle!

*Ayano continues to laugh as the blog ends for the week.*

This is the Five-hundred-and-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We start the blog with a ninja girl sitting on an edge of a cliff, her ponytail blowing in the wind. She is wearing a mask to hide her face. However, huffing soon arrives behind her.*

Huff... huff... Why did we have to come this far out in the wilderness.

: It's all your fault. You're the one who wanted to challenge this mysterious ninja that attacked you last week.

It's a good thing Juubei was there too. She sure saved me.

: That she did, though I wonder why you didn't let us follow us in case we needed help.

I don't need help. Well, not with this. I'm sure that this is all a big misunderstanding.

: And if it isn't?

Then I'll be too worn out to battle.

: You have terrible strategies, and leave yourself vulnerable too much.

I'm a very trusting and generous person. Unless it comes to money, then I'm extremely cheap.

: One of many reasons you still don't have a Switch...

What, are you waiting to play great games? Going to main K.Rool or something?

: Perhaps I will. But that's not imp-

*Suddenly a kunai is thrown, striking between Topaz and Riri's faces. It stabs into a tree behind them, and both turn to look at the ninja who has thrown it.*

ExCUSE me? We were talking here!

: Yeah. You can't just attack people randomly. I mean, sneak attack damage is important and all, but you can't just interrupt our conversation.

Ninja: You two were being too loud.

We're out in nature, we can do that. Besides, it's not like we were talking too loud.

Ninja: Loud enough that I heard it echoing through the forest. And did I not tell you to come alone?

...No, and believe me I checked.

Ninja: ...I see.

: You also forgot to give us directions. We ended up at a ton of cliff edges looking for you!

Ninja: Seems I lacked telling you important information. My apologies. To show my penance I shall remove my mask.

*The ninja takes off her mask, revealing her face. Riri elbows Topaz.*

: Good of you not to make a terrible joke there, Topaz.

True, but now I have to explain that I misspelled “penance” at first and it looked like-

: That's enough of that, Topaz.

: Indeed, as now that you have seen my face I must make sure that you are defeated.

: Oh! So that's who it is. It's Taki... Explains a lot, as you know her from before my time.

Exactly, though nothing wrong with that. And what's this about me being defeated?

: Is it not obvious? You and I must battle, to ensure that all the shards are eliminated.

Shards? Are you sure you're not in some villainous team?

: Especially not one that relies on dumb nicknames.

Hey, I sometimes like the nicknames!

: You would (wait, no! I can't insult Topaz like that... Stupid stupid stupid). Stupid!

No need for name calling, Ririchiyo.

: (Dung! One of those words fell out of my mind and into my mouth! How can I possibly recover? Wait, I know-) Harumph. Then prove it by talking down Taki.

: Talking is not an option. I shall destroy you, and I have no idea what you intend by “villains” or “nicknames”. Are you in line with Siegfried? Toki? Cervantes?

I've played as them, but not for a long time. Well, two of them at least.

: Played?

: Topaz is referring to video games. Do not mind him, and we will say that we are not your foes.

: I see, then I shall listen to your request to speak. Do not waste this honor.

Let me do my blog on you!

*Taki is bewildered, taking off guard.*

: A what..?

: Topaz would like to write about you.

: I would not enjoy that. A ninja must keep their identity hidden.

I think it's too late, as you've attacked us last week. Besides, I'm sure that no one will read this!

: Except Topaz's dedicated readers, but they won't use the information contained in any dangerous way.

: Hmmm...

Also you get a score based on how well you do.

: ...Interesting. Well, Topaz. You have interested me.

So you'll let me do my blog this week on you?

: I suppose so. But do not think that I shall let you go without the fight. It would be unsporting if I were to attack you during the... blog, was it?

: That's the right word.

Indeed, so let's begin by saying that...



: I see, so this is how it begins...

That's right. Any questions before we start?

: Might I ask why you did not link the first game I appeared in?

Yes. And it's because II is the first Soulcalibur game I played.

: ...It is not the only one, correct?

Nope, as I've played Soulcalibur III!

: Barely. You tried unlocking a difficult character at the start, got frustrated, and then stopped playing.

I still enjoyed it, even if I played other games instead.

: Still better than Lightning last year...

I blame filler arcs. Like this one!

: You don't have to admit these things!

: What have I gotten myself into...

Don't facepalm, Taki. We'll get into the blog soon.

: Also to readers, the title of the series is “Soulcalibur”. It's dumb, but that's what Topaz has decided to use.

Mostly because I forgot to add the capital “C” far too much and I'm too lazy to go back to change it. Now, let's get going!

==Head==
===Hair===
I really enjoy Taki's hairstyle. Like a lot of ninjas she has her hair in a ponytail, lifted up so that it's not in the way. It looks good, and I like how it's held with a nice decoration as well. Her ponytail does only go to her shoulders, or maybe at about her mid-back. A shame as it looks like it was longer in the earlier games, so boo the potential haircut as I blame lazy creators not wanting to put in the effort! That aside she doesn't have her hair down very often, only once as an alternative outfit in Soulcalibur II (the green bonus one). It reaches past her shoulders, which is nice but I would like to have seen it a bit more. Taki's hair is a little taut, pulled back due to the ponytail. Fortunately her bangs aren't too affected, and she has long enough side curls that they reach her chin to give a good framing to her face. Her bangs aren't too special, with an almost-token long middle bang that I've been noticing a lot these days. Taki does have her hair over her left eye in certain games, not entirely but it is as if she intentionally parts her hair that way (the part being over her right eye). Occasionally Taki also wears a headband, which is cool and fits with her Japanese-style hair decorations. And, of course, we can't forget that Taki has such a beautiful black hair as well. Overall, as said before I really like Taki's hairstyle, and while it's a shame it isn't as long as it once was or she doesn't have her hair down as much as she could the positives (the dark color, the framing, among other things) balance it out and then some.
Grade: B+

===Eyes===
Taki has some pretty good eyes as well. It's not as easy to tell on her 3D models, but her official art (especially from Queen's Gate) does make her eyes look pretty slender. She also has a nice tsurime, which again is more visible in the 2D images, but it fits with her personality and I find it to be a nice shape overall. I'm not good at telling eye color, but from what I've seen Taki has either golden or brown eyes (a lighter brown, mind you) but I can't exactly be sure. Still, it's a pretty color even if it is a realistic one (that's not intended as an insult on it). Taki sadly doesn't wear glasses either; the closest seems to be a domino mask in Lost Swords in an alternate outfit which is a shame. I might just be imagining things as well, but it's possible that she wears make-up around her eyes to give it a darker color
Grade: B

===Face===
Taki does pretty good here, though I'm not a fan of the 3D art style for characters. Fortunately like with her eyes the Queen's Gate artbook among other 2D official images help out. She does look pretty stiff in the beginning, due to the hardware limitations in the early games. While this is better these days I still am a little wary of 3D art. Taki also seems to have a large nose and lips, at least depending on the game (and that might just be me being a little too picky for my own tastes). Taki also wears a facemask in most games it seems, which covers the lower portion of her face and causes some problems. Her mouth may be exposed and it does look cool while fitting her character, but I'm not big on masks as they hide the beauty below. Still, Taki's solemn personality still gives her a lot of room to show off her emotions. At least in the games I know about. Still, Taki does have issues even if her face is fairly attractive looking.
Grade: B-

: I see. So all you talk about are my physical features?

Well, initially but as we go down the sections we'll be discussing other various things. Still, it looks like you're doing quite well.

: If only you had longer hair and didn't wear a mask.

: But then how would my features be hidden?

Wear glasses instead! Like Clark Kent!

: I don't think she gets that reference, Topaz.

True, but I do not think that she minds. She's probably just ignoring me when I speak.

: If only I could do the same-er, I-I didn't mean that!

Don't worry, I appreciate that joke! But for now let's continue with the blog!

==Body==
===Build===
Taki has measurements as well! Her official height is 170 cm, and while that doesn't seem tall considering she's Japanese by nationality it means that she's pretty tall (not as tall as Ivy, who is 179, but still pretty tall). Sadly her three sizes aren't as great, as at 90/52/85 she just barely passes the “5 cm rule” I tend to hold girls to. She's also 53 kg, though that doesn't matter too much. That said, Taki is still very acrobatic, tending to rely on speed even if she's pretty fast too. Her legs are quite nice, with her thicker thighs in particular looking good. Of course I can't forget about her ass either. 85 cm might not seem like a lot, but Taki's ass still looks pretty good. It's not what she's focused on, but even back in the Soul Edge days she was showing her ass in official art. The Queen's Gate book has some particularly great shots too, making her ass look much bigger than her 3D models tend to. There's a few good ones with her assflab getting pushed by strings from her torn bodysuit, looking really great and sexy. And that bodysuit really helps show off her body as well, though I'll talk about that in clothing more. Sadly this also means that Taki's er, more “intimate” parts get shown. In the games this tends to stick with the V-portion of her groin only, though the Queen's Gate shows more of her crotch including the inner line. I'm not big on that type of appeal, but I still find Taki very attractive overall.
Grade: B

===Chest===
Taki does have a lot of trouble here, though considering how fanservicy Soulcalibur is that isn't too surprising. She's one of the bustier girls, and as a result she got quite famous from that. Not as famous as say, Ivy, but Taki is still one of the franchise's most iconic characters. She is very bouncy, though I can't be sure if they've done better in the more recent games along those lines. What does her in is her bodysuit once again. Her nipples show through it, and in the original Soulcalibur she also shows cleavage. She's tied for third among the girls, sharing a size of 90 cm with Sophitia and being below Ivy (at 100) and Setsuka (at 95). Still, Taki is often thought of as a mamocentric character even if she's somewhat more balanced in the official works. Then again that might just be because this series is a little more mamocentric than most. Not to the point of certain current series, but still leaning a bit more towards there.
Grade: B-

===Clothes===
As mentioned before several times Taki is well known for her bodysuit. In most games this is a red tight bodysuit that goes from her shoulders down to her feet. It shows off her body really well, as said. Sometimes it's purple or blue, and in Soulcalibur her bodysuit shows some cleavage. Taki also wears metal shoulders, gauntlets, and greaves. In some games she also wears some armor on her torso, though it tends to show off her chest more than needed. She also seems to have a lot of variety and alternate outfits as well. In the original Soul Edge she has a blue leotard with sandals, as well as a red yukata with a blue bow in an ending image. In Soulcalibur II she wears a white outfit with short skirt, big armored shoulders, and sorta-thighhighs due to how high her boots go. Taki also has a third costume, which is a green outfit with short skirt, green belt, and nylon covering her otherwise-open cleavage. In Soulcalibur IV she wears a shogun-like outfit with a headband and the big loops over her shoulders that I don't know the proper name of. She also has a kimono with flowers on it in an official image for that game which looks pretty. In Lost Swords Taki also wears a superhero-ish outfit, with a short cape, very short shirt that shows off underboob, a short plaid skirt with a thong underneath, and thighhigh pink stockings with tall black boots with heels (or maybe that was just concept art). There's probably more costumes, but I'm just going off of images that I've seen. Still, just that bodysuit made Taki well-known and is iconic for her, looking extremely sexy wearing it and showing off her body well.
Grade: A-

*Taki unsheathes her dagger and puts it against Topaz's neck.*

Hey! I thought that you said that there would be no attacking while the blog was going on!

: I have changed my mind. Consider it a punishment for discussing such... delicate matters without telling me first.

: That's all just part of the blog. He has to discuss everything, including the erotic points.

: Is this true? Was there no lust in your intentions?

I can't say that it was completely without lust. You do have quite the shapely figure, and as said you are quite attractive.

: Your words are quite perverse, but honest. For telling me your true feelings I shall not eliminate you, not yet at last.

*She puts her dagger back, and Topaz lets out a relieved sigh.*

That was a close one. I'm surprised that you would be so embarrassed about your figure being discussed.

: It is a ninja's duty to stay out of sight, and with all the information you've used to describe me I am afraid that I may not be able to go into hiding as easily.

You should grow your hair out and wear glasses then!

: You're really pushing for that, aren't you. Why not say something like she should cut her tumors off?

: Please do not order me to disfigure myself.

Of course not. If I were to order anything it would to be inside that bodysuit.

: Oh? I do not think that it would fit well, for multiple reasons. Your scrawny body is too small for it, for one, and you don't have the proper curves either.

: I think that Topaz meant while you were still wearing it.

: But there isn't any room in with me. If that were to happen he would be pressed against my body!

Sounds like heaven...

: Stop being perverse, Topaz!

I can't stop being what I am. It's all a part of me, like my terrible jokes and somewhat-obscure video game knowledge! Though speaking of being perverse...

*Riri sighs*

: Do we really need to give him some service?

Of course! It would be mean not to! After all, he's had to endure this terrible blog long enough. Plus I'm sure that he doesn't mind having more service, what with blogs still being down.

: MAL needs to finally finish. It sucks that it's one of the last few things to be fixed.

Hopefully next week we'll be getting news. But until then...



==Mind==
===Personality===
Surprising Taki has a very interesting history that I didn't know much about before researching. Her family died of disease at a young age and she was raised by a ninja clan and in particular their leader Toki. Taki then became a good student, learning many ninja arts and eventually becoming a demon hunter. She also had a childhood friend named Chie, and eventually Chie's father Hachibei was targeted by their ninja group. However, Taki spares her friend's father's life and instead takes the weapon, the Mekki-maru, for herself (which she still uses to this day, along with her old weapon Rekki-Maru). Hearing Toki wanted to kill them (or more correctly Chie's lover as Taki said that he had the blade instead) and hearing rumors of another cursed blade like this one she went searching for the Soul Edge. Said evil blade was also affecting her own sword as well, giving her another reason to go searching. Eventually she got to Spain, where she killed the wielder of Soul Edge Cervantes and saves Sophitia from death. However, after returning home Taki found out that Toki wanted the Mekki-maru so much he would send assassins out against her. Not only that, but as Taki wielding her weapon the power of Soul Edge (which she had used to repair her weapon) was revealing her position. She decided to go back to Europe to finally destroy all the pieces of Soul Edge. This journey takes many games, eventually destroying the weapon in Soulcalibur IV. Then, in the fifth game, she leaves to explore rumors that Toki (who died in an earlier game) was still alive. This may just be pieces or shards of a bigger story, but I don't have personal experience with a lot of games in the franchise and even then the lore is very twisty.
Anyway, that's just Taki's background and not her personality I suppose. The bad thing is that there isn't too much to talk about. Taki is a serious and stoic ninja who has very powerful skills. She's not only a great demon-hunter and sealer, but she's also a skilled blacksmith which I found cool. She also seems to have a sixth sense which helps with her search both for demons and for fragments of the Soul Edge. That said, I don't think she's too interesting even though she is somewhat emotionless. Her backstory is pretty cool though. Speaking of cool things about Taki, she's gone through a lot of voice actresses. In English she's voiced by Desirée Goyette in Soulcalibur II and by Cynthia Holloway in every game since Soulcalibur III onward (at least as far as the current time). Taki has had even more Japanese voice actresses though; Fujiko Takimoto from Soul Edge to Soulcalibur III, Sachiko Kojima from Soulcalibur Legends to Soulcalibur Lost Worlds, and now Nanako Mori in Soulcalibur VI. Still, I do like Taki a lot, even back in the days of playing Soulcalibur II on the Gamecube she was one of my favorites. Not that I was much good with her, but still.
Grade: B

===Libido===
This is Taki's main issue, as she doesn't seem to show too much libido. She seems like the type to focus on a mission instead of this sort of thing, which is a shame as the series has Ivy as a great dominant inspiration. Then again I suppose the games don't have much opportunity for something like this. A shame, really. She does have two possible yuri pairings, not counting things like Ivy's dommy fighting or Sophitia's facesitting-well, if I want to be fair we can't completely disregard Sophitia. Taki does save the Greek future mother in the original Soulcalibur, killing Cervantes at the same time. Taki then carried Sophitia back to her home in Greece and tended to her wounds, so there might be some shipping there. But the two girls I was thinking of are different. First is Chie, who shows up in the series as Taki's childhood friend. Though she does have a male lover, so I wouldn't base too much on that pairing. There is also Natsu, who is Taki's ninja apprentice and was nearly raised by the ninja. She also took Taki's spot in SCV and also went searching for her teacher during the events of that game. Still, that's probably a little grasping at straws and Taki doesn't show much in this area.
Grade: C

===Age===
Taki does absolutely fabulous here. In fact, she even ages quite a bit over the games which seems pretty unique. Even the first game, Soul Edge, had her at the really sexy age of 22. During the events of the original Soulcalibur she's 25, and after Soulcalibur II all the way up to V she's considered to be 29. Sadly Soulcalibur VI, which rebooted the timeline of sorts, doesn't have a listed age for Taki. Still, she can't be too different from the ages, and with an age in the 20's to continue the trend. Overall she does really well, even if the series is set in the 1500's or so.
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 74
Average score: 8.2
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week!

: It is finally complete?

Yes. What do you think about it?

*Taki says nothing but unsheathes her two daggers.*

I don't think it was THAT bad...

: You're an optimist, Topaz.

: Do not think of this as a critique. I was just waiting until you were done to eliminate you.

What? I was thinking that my good blog would help convince you to not kill me!

: Looks like it didn't work. Big surprise...

: Nothing can convince me to spare you. You've already been bonded with a shard of Soul Edge, and in order to eliminate it I shall kill you!

*Riri and Topaz look confused.*

Soul... Edge?

: That's right! You must know what it is, considering you've been mentioning it throughout the blog. And I can sense a shard of it within you!

Within me... Wait, do you mean this?

*Topaz takes out his necklace with the elemental gems. In particular he shows off the first one.*

Could you mean this?

: Hmmm, that does not look like a shard of Soul Edge. Yet it gives off a similar aura.

: Well it does give Topaz a demonic form, but now that he's trained it won't be able to take him over.

: I suppose that I was hasty. I had seen that you were wielding an item of evil aura, but I was mistaken to think that it was a piece of the evil blade...

Indeed. I don't have any evil weaponry. Or cutlery either

: Cutlery... Topaz, stop making random comments.

But if I don't make random jokes and comments who would? Besides, the idea of a demonic spoon makes me giggle.

: That seems quite odd. But now that I have no business with you I shall take my leave. I do not wish to meet you again, so good bye.

See you around, perhaps!

*Taki disappears, but then reappears.*

Wait, I didn't mean that literally.

: Forget something?

: Yes. I forgot the main reason I was scouting you out. I come with a warning.

A warning? Probably about a villain we shall meet soon.

: Yes. There have been rumors of a ninja who has been stealing the essence of others, taking it for herself. Beware this rogue ninja.

: That sounds like a terrible mixed class. Why not just be one?

Maybe it's gestalt and they really like sneak attack.

: I still do not get your odd words, but do be on guard.

Of course. And you as well.

: It would be foolish if I were to fall prey to this, but thank you for your concern. Now I shall disappear.

*As before, Taki disappears.*

: Really wish that we would have had a better clue.

That's alright. We'll just have to look for a ninja.

: That sounds difficult.

We'll just have to go back to town and look for clues. Luckily we can just do that in a single transition, instead of struggling up this cliff again.

*The two look down at the path they took to come up.*

: Looks like we have to get going...

Dumb narrator and not following my cues. But indeed, let's get moving.

*Topaz and Riri make their way down the cliff, and soon they're back at town.*

: Well, that was still better than having to do the whole thing again.

That's right. Exercise is terrible and-wait, what's this?

*Once they get to town there's posters all over the buildings. Topaz pulls one off.*

Oh no! It seems that Nozomi is back at her old tricks!

: Eh? The Love Live idol that was evil.

No, the Keijo one. Looks like she's having a grand competition sometime next week!

: We don't have to go, right?

Normally I'd say no, but look at this!

*Topaz shows off the poster to Riri. Former blogged characters are there, looking like they've been captured.*

They've captured the girls of the month and she's holding them ransom until I go there!

: That sounds really dumb, but considering the show she's from I shouldn't be surprised. Looks like we have someone stupid next week...

That's right. But we have to be heroic and save those victims! Or at least be there to help them out.

: I suppose...

*Topaz and Riri then run off, the blog seeming to end with that.*

Anime Relations: Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!

This is the Five-hundredth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We return from where we left off last week. Topaz is in the middle of a mysterious field created by Rin, while Riri lays unconscious at the base of a broken obelisk. Rin is also there, with her lamp of absorbed strength, and facing her is a tall, green-haired meganekko.*

: J-Jade? I've never heard of such a character! And all the characters named “Jade” on MAL are guys! Er, I think so at least.

I'm surprised that MAL was working well enough that you were able to search. Wait, no, characters returned this week (darn, this joke makes a lot less sense now). But you're right. Jade here is a personal creation.

: I was created by Topaz as a part of his series of self-pandering girls!

That's right! ...You shouldn't praise it like that, I suppose.

: It's not wrong though! And from what I hear you not only invaded a fighting tournament-one, I might add, that I was NEVER invited to-but you also used illegal steroids to beat up your opponents and steal their powers!

: Well, it's not quite steroids, but I did use magic!

: Same difference! It's time to teach you a lesson, and not just because you've been beating up my otouto!

: HA! He isn't your “otouto”! It's just his dumb powers making you think that!

: What are you talking about? My otouto's name is “Topaz”!

: … Man, that power is really-wait, no. You're being serious, aren't you?

: Why wouldn't I be serious about my own otouto?

: Seems the pandering goes deeper than I thought... Anyway, what do YOU think you can do to me?

: Beat you up!

: Be serious! I have the powers of FOUR powerful female warriors, plus the demonic powers of Ririchiyo! You'll never-PWWAAAH GORF GORF!

*Jade suddenly cracks the ground below her foot, leaping at Rin with a powerful fist. She interrupts her and sends the over-inflated villain rolling.*

: What were you saying?

: Grrr, a lucky shot. But once I fully power up, I'll be able to defeat you easily!

: You have an extra form? Like with glowing hair and stuff? Great! I thought that this was going to be boring!

: I'll just tap into the power of the four girls and.. THERE!

: That's it? No visual sign? BORING!

: I'll show you whose BOR-

: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUNCH!

*Rin charges Jade, who puts her arm out with absolutely no effort. Still, Rin hits it so hard that she flips onto her back. Jade yawns at this.*

: I thought that this would be an INTERESTING battle. Come on, show me a little big more talent!

*Jade looks intimidating to Rin, her glasses shining in a threatening way. She even flexes her fingers, making a fist and cracking her knuckles. Rin takes a deep breath.*

: You might be threatening, but there's no way that you can defeat me! I am invincible!

: Look, I get that you might be stronger than the average girl. But invincible? I care not for such things! I would punch a literal GOD if I could! Do you really think a puny girl like you has ANY chance against me?

: Of course, as I have the power of FIVE GIRLS! KYAAAH!

*Rin, deciding to use Tomoyo's skills at kicking makes a leaping kick at Jade. However the tall green-haired sister seems to disappear, appearing right behind Rin. She then punches her upward.*

: BEEFCAKE HAMMER!

*With that Jade grabs Rin's leg from behind, crossing her victim's arms over the leg. She then slams down head first, breaking the ground as they land. Rin is knocked unconscious.*

K.O!

: Was there any doubt?

*Jade brushes the dust off her hands.*

: Well, since that's done how about we get started with the reason I'm here?

You mean you didn't come to save me from the horrible villain?

: Well, consider that a bonus. I came to help you celebrate your 500th blog!

Of course! That makes sense as I like doing girls I've created like this! Wait, I should rephrase that... Oh well, my readers know what I mean. And as always, let's get started!



*Unknown to Jade or Topaz Rin's unconscious body starts to twitch.*

==Head==
===Hair===
Jade has beautiful long, flowing hair that I really love. It does have some issues with the length, as the very tips seem to cover her ass slightly though not enough to completely hide her cheeks either (only a small amount of the top). Her hair flows really well down her back, being mostly straight but curving out slightly at about the base of her neck. Jade's bangs are really nice as well, being a somewhat-hime cut though her short sides do mean that it's not completely “hime”-like. Then again there's nothing wrong with blunt bangs as I really like them. Matching her namesake gemstone Jade's hair is also a dark green. While not as great as say, black or purple, it is a suitable color that I enjoy. Fortunately her hair isn't so thick and messy to make her look like a gremlin from behind either. Overall I obviously enjoy Jade's hair, with the only complaints being relatively minor ones.
Grade: A

: You do know it's not like my hair is green 'cause I don't wash it, right?

Of course not. I know that's your natural hair color, and it's a very pretty one.

: Good, as I occasionally get questions about that. Then I usually punch the one that asks it, though very lightly.

Serves them right for thinking you'd be unclean. Though I do wonder if your long hair is ever a distraction in a fight.

: Like if people pull it? Certainly not! I've never even had it cut, which is quite the achievement as I fight girls like Kaede and Lydia all the time.

Girls avoiding hair cuts are always great!

: Certainly! Plus I like having the “handicap” that long hair causes me to have, being careful not to have it touch anyone but not have it affect my combat. Plus it looks awesome as EVER!

I agree, as long hair looks really pretty.

: I meant because it's cool when it sways in the wind, like a super hero's cloak!

That too! But how about we continue onward!

===Eyes===
Jade also has green eyes, mostly matching her hair color if very slightly lighter. Still, it's a very pretty color and makes her eyes look as brilliant as her namesake gem. It's a pretty color, and while three other girls in the franchise have green eyes (Maya, Aoi, and Lydia) they each seem to have a unique color to it. She does have a tsurime, like many girls from this series, with particularly emphasized corners though without (visible) eyelashes. Jade's eyes aren't as narrow as Momoyo, who she is based on, but she still looks very sexy and dominant when it comes to her eyes. Especially when she's about to lay the smack down on some foe. Overall her eyes look really great, both with the color and shape. We can't forget about Jade's glasses though, and while I'm not good at describing glasses she does have a nice pair of thick-framed blue glasses with circular frames. Even when fighting she doesn't take them off, much like many girls in the series. She does need them, rather than just using them as a decoration, but even when half-blind she's a great fighter. As said she does especially well here, looking beautiful on all accounts.
Grade: A

: My glasses are one of my charm points! That's why I rarely take them off, even to train!

Are you sure they aren't actually weighted glasses?

: Of course not, that sounds really silly. Besides, what would that do, make my ears and nose super-strong? But I'm glad that you appreciate the fact that my hair and eye colors are similar.

Of course! It suits you really well, much like your glasses.

: D'awww, you're going to make me blush!

That just sounds cute, though speaking of your face...

===Face===
Jade has a very lovely face, even if that seems to be the part I'm weakest in creating. That's more my own skills though. Anyway, Jade has some of my favorite aspects including small features and a very small nose (as small as I can make it, at least). Being that she's somewhat trim her cheeks aren't too rounded and her chin is somewhat pointed though neither are bad. And being fair that's just because she looks a lot like Momoyo as well. Still, Jade looks really great though I suppose that at this point it's understandable why I love her so much!
Grade: A-

: Don't worry, we realize that you aren't the best artist in the world. We know that you're trying to make all your harem girls a little bit different, all while retaining a soft gentle look.

I do like soft girls...

: Ara, in more ways than one...

*Topaz blushes as Jade giggles at his flustered look. However, her quick instincts realizes something is up.

That's right, and looking next-

: Wait a minute... you're back up, aren't you?

Er...

: I mean YOU!

*Jade turns around and points to Rin, who was trying to sneak up on the duo.*

: That's right! You may have caused me to lose one of my captives and made me unconscious, but I'll make sure to get my revenge! Using Videl's strength as well! HOORAH!

*Rin leaps at Jade, her arm back and ready to punch using the powers of gravity. The meganekko just looks up at her and smiles.*

: Your tactics are no match for me-FORBIDDEN MOVE: FUJI SMASHER!

*Jade reels her arm back and uppercuts Rin, sending her flying with her eyes whited out. The villain then rolls against the ground again.*

WOW! So that was banned because it was powerful?

: Not at all. I dislike using it because it tears up my sleeves.

*Jade shows off her right arm, which was doing the punching. It's shredded all the way up to the shoulder, even if it's not able to be seen in the image.*

That's fair, especially as the readers won't be able to see that.

: Not like anything in particular is showing though. It's just embarrassing that I'll have to tell Natsume I ruined another of her shirts.

I thought that shirt looked a little fancier than you would normally wear. Maybe it's time to go sleeveless, like a lot of other fighting girls.

: Hmmm, then I'd look even more like Momoyo. Or like that Nana Shimura gal. Sounds like a great idea, though I like wearing shirts with sleeves when I'm not fighting.

You do look good in them. Though speaking of which, let's continue with the blog!

==Body==
===Build===
Jade has an amazing body. She's tall, being 175 cm and 57 kg which are very good sizes (especially when her otouto is only 153 cm, meaning she'll marshmallow him with a hug). Her three sizes are 90/58/90, meaning that she has an hourglass balanced figure. Her legs look very sexy, especially her thick thighs which can put her opponent in a sexy hold, and while very strong she's not too bulky either. She's the type that has a lot of hidden muscle, except for perhaps some sexy abs on her stomach (though even then they aren't too “hard” or stiff either). Her feet are sexy, though she doesn't have a lot of shots nor does she wear much to accent her lower body. Well, except for her ass. Her ass is really great, being slightly larger than Momoyo's own peach (hers is 88 cm, though in general Jade takes a lot of Momoyo's measurements), and Momoyo herself has a really nice, big ass herself! Though I suppose that may be a given considering what series she's from and her own “little brother” (even if it's not as ass heavy as it could be). That said, Jade herself has a rare ass-attack in Bite of the Jade Scorpion ♥ (the heart is important). She beats up someone, backs up a bit and blows a kiss, then does a standing leap and flip to land ass-first on her “victim”. It's surprising that such a soft, squishy ass can be used as a weapon, but I wouldn't mind being hit by it sometimes. Overall Jade is a beautiful and sexy woman that's pretty much flawless, with a fair amount of chest and ass service plus other appealing places as well. She's perfect for a guy who likes obscenely strong yet still incredibly sexy and curvy women like me.
Grade: A+

: I'm glad that all my training has given me a body that you consider “perfect”.

Well, it's difficult to create a character that will cater to me well and not make her an outstandingly beautiful one. In fact some other areas I've had to kinda lower due to you being created specifically to cater to me.

: Don't worry. I totally understand. I'm glad to look so great!

You certainly do! So what do you do to train?

: Just the usual.

Don't tell me it's sit-ups, push-ups, and plenty of juice.

: No, and it's not that Saitama's training either. It's hard to describe, but I do a lot of crunches and running as well as strength training. I have to keep myself in shape, after all.

Why do you say that?

: W-well.

*Jade looks nervous.*

: Don't tell my brother this, but, er, genes and stuff... I want to keep my youthful appearance as long as possible.

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

: Well, Mom is, er, genetics and... Well, let me put it in PreCure terms. Zettai's girls are more like Fresh PreCure, where all the mothers are beautiful, while Topaz's is more like Smile. Sure, there's lovely ones like Chiharu or Ikuyo, like how Aunt Aya and Maeka's mother Chizuru are really beautiful. Then again there's Mom, who is more like Tomoko... Well, save about 4-5 kids, of course.

Hmmm, sounds like you have a mother sorta like Deku...

: Yeah! Exactly! Like Inko! I suppose that I fear looking like that when I get older, so in response I exercised and now I'm SUPER powerful!

And I imagine like Tomoko and Inko your mother has green hair too!

: Right! But that's enough talking about Mom. Let's get back to me!

Great plan!

===Chest===
Jade is very busty, much like a lot of the girls in the series as well as her creative-proxy Momoyo. At 90 cm she's pretty busty, though she's about average for the series with a pair of D-cups. Like many of the girls she is also very into giving paizuri, both to please her little brother and getting pleasure herself due to her sensitive chest. She also teases her brother with her large breasts quite a bit as he likes them so much. Jade also has small nipples, or so I'd assume considering I don't have “proof” but I do prefer that type of thing. She does show off her chest more than her ass, which is somewhat unfortunate but I don't mind all that much considering that she's so beautiful and fair. Overall it's possible that Jade is a relic of a past where I was more mamocentric, but I don't mind as a lot of her more recent ideas have been helping her out.
Grade: A-

: I am glad that your friend understands and respects your girls.

Well, it's not like you're irritatingly mamocentric either. But I do thank him for that.

: Hopefully he'll understand if I want to pamper my little otouto after the blog, right?

*Jade winks at Topaz, flustering him.*

W-well, I suppose that some girls are able to reward me like that. But I'm sure that it would have to be off screen and not implied. Hopefully we haven't already jinxed it.

: Do not worry. I'm sure that you'll get quite the enjoyment after this blog is done. Ufufu...

*Topaz swallows nervously, eventually continuing with the blog.*

===Clothes===
This may be Jade's worst area, though I suppose that as her creator I can put her in anything. That said, I'm not a good artist. As a result her default outfit seems to be a green karate uniform, with an orange belt (not due to that only being her rank but because that's what came with the outfit). She does seem to wear a lot of casual outfits, much like Momoyo does, and Jade can be put into many types of outfits as well. That said, I'm pretty indecisive when it comes to what sort of outfit she should wear. Cute outfits, such as gothic lolita outfits, might be too jarring with her tough and sexy appearance. Jade also prefers outfits that are easy to move around in, which might eliminate things such as suits that are too stiff. Then again, bodysuits and other tight outfits including small shorts would suit her well. Mmmm, there's a lot of outfits that Jade can wear, but sadly as her creator I'm not exactly sure what sort would suit her well. It's a big decision, but do know that Jade still has a lot of potential to grow.
Grade: B

: And there's a lot of festive episodes as well, at least with what Topaz imagines. Yukatas in the festival episode, mikos for New Years, and a lot more! I especially like the black bikini!

Sounds sexy, and I'm guessing that's for the beach episode?

: Of course, but there's more than just one. There's a small arc with Haruka's introduction as well as Aunt Aya's, and then after the harem has been recruited completely!

Very nice, though hopefully it's a lot more fair than some other shows.

: Don't worry. It's not like Souta has fanservice...

I meant more that it's not mamocentric.

: Well, a little. But asses still get great close ups! Even I show off my sexy thong ass a lot, like when I suplex a shark!

Sounds dangerous! Much like a train, perhaps.

: Sharks aren't that powerful, as they're weak to fighting! That said I will also state that most of the assier girls like Himawari and Charlotte, not to mention the more mature Mari and Selvaria get great shots too!

Very good!

: Mwaha! While you two have continued to talk about perverse things I was able to recover!

: Again? It's barely a fight now. What, do you have good drops to farm or something?

: I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I'm prepared for-PPPWWAAHH!

*Jade sweeps Rin's legs, tripping her.*

I thought Garland was the one that was supposed to knock everyone down...

: Who said that's the end of the attack?

: But tripping is a terrible strategy! H-hey, come back here!

*Jade takes a few steps away from Rin, looks towards Topaz and blows him a kiss.*

: Here comes your favorite attack, Topaz. And I'm sure your readers will like it too-Bite of the Jade Scorpion ♥!

*With that Jade makes a standing jump, flipping in the air. She lands ass-first against Rin's face, hitting so hard with her fat ass (which jiggles in the tight pants she's wearing) that it cracks the ground under them. She then stands up, dusting off her ass as Rin lays there with a smile.*

I'd be smiling too...

: Of course! Heroes always smile, and that's why I'm grinning most of the time!

That's not what-er, never mind. Let's get going with the blog!

==Mind==
===Personality===
Jade is, by all means, a girl created specifically to appeal to my fetishes. The fetish in particular she represents is the “strong blood oneesan”-type, explaining why she has so many similarities to Momoyo from Majikoi (who I have mentioned quite a bit throughout this blog). Jade is so similar that the two even share a VA, though in Jade's case it's purely hypothetical. Anyway, she would be voiced by none other than Yuu Asakawa, the voice of Rider, Chisato, and so many great beauties that I like. She'd probably use a really seductive and dominant voice for Jade as well, which sounds amazing. Anyway, getting to Jade's personality, she's a really powerful fighter. One of the best too, able to destroy the enemies invading even before getting magical skills (and even then she prefers to use physical attacks). Jade is also one of the strongest girls on her side in Super Shimai Wars, a hypothetical game. She has high stats all around, good offensive-based and tanking skills (including a passive that increases the damage done and heals her for a certain amount when she defeats a foe), and has almost no downside to using her (there's the availability issue, but other than that I can't think of a good nerf to her). She's also a college girl, though I'm not quite sure what she studies (it was just an excuse for her slightly late appearance into the series). Jade is pretty laid back, but usually positive like heroes should be. Though I suppose that it may cross into “psychotic” due to battle lust sometimes, but I still really enjoy her. She's a great friend, older sister, and character that appeals to me really well. Jade is, in essence, a perfect character to me but the reason is that she was created specifically to appeal to me. While she's incredibly great, she's not in anything official and was created just for my sake which means that I don't want to give her a maxed score. I want to give other girls a chance, after all.
Grade: A-

===Libido===
This might come at as a surprise to some of you, with Jade not getting an “A” here. I suppose that it's reasonable that she is quite perverse now, playing with her lucky younger brother quite affectionately and often. She even waits for him to arrive home each time he has fun with other girls as well, due to the two sharing a house. So she's not only perverse herself but she's understanding that the rest of the harem needs fun as well. Jade also pampers her otouto quite well, fulfilling his fetishes very well. However, that's the present day and the two had lived their whole lives together before that (at least before Jade went to college, but that's fairly recently and she soon returned). That means that there were ample opportunities for the siblings to get “together”, opportunities that Jade did not use. Sure she teased him playfully, but his virginity went to his “winner” Maeka instead. Not that I have a problem with that as both are beautiful meganekkos, but it is unfortunate for Jade's case. Still, she certainly hasn't lost any steam and will play with her younger brother at any opportunity she has. Oh, and I'll also mention that she gets a lot of shipping with her reverse trap friend Natsume and friendly rival honor blade Kaede too.
Grade: B+

: So you dislike it that I allowed Maeka to pluck my otouto's “cherry”?

That's not quite how I'd describe it, but that's a good point. Also, other than a total harem ending you wouldn't quite win.

: One of the few battles I'm alright with losing. Then again...

*Jade presses against Topaz's side, blowing and nibbling on his ear. He flusters from this.*

H-hey, I said that this should be after the blog and off screen.

: Yeah, but if I'm not aggressive I might lose you. Or worse, lose points. How about I do something that you'll really enjoy?

*She then pushes Topaz down, sitting on his lap. She wriggles her fat ass, bouncing in a very sexy manner.*

: How about this? I'm sure that your readers won't mind me doing a little of a lap sitting, would they?

N-no, but I'm a bit worried with....

: Don't worry, enjoy my ass to your heart's content.

*Jade whispers into his ear.*

: Besides, I'm strong enough that it wouldn't matter what you do. I'll beat you up, ride you to our heart's content, and the whole time I'd humiliate you. Doesn't that sound fun, Topaz? Not that it matters, you have no choice in this matter. I'll rape you hard, and you'll enjoy every minute of it-huh?

GWERK!

: Already?! You're even more of a lightweight than my brother.

S-sorry...

: No worries. Besides, it looks like you got a level from that. A silly method, but at least your health is fully healed.

*Indeed, and Topaz also gained 15 Defense and 5 Max HP.*

So that's what the girl does to Link in his adventure... wait, that joke hasn't been over used, has it?

: Perhaps. But do not worry. I'll make sure to train you to be my ultimate lover! There will be no rest for you after the blog ends!

I'm beginning to see why the girls needed to unseal you... How about we continue with the blog?

: Certainly. Once it's finished we'll finally be able to be alone.

*Topaz swallows nervously again, but resumes the blog.*

===Age===
Jade is, sorta surprisingly, only 18. I would have expected her to be older, but no matter as it's not like the series has a shortage of older girls either. 18 is a really great age as well, especially when you include that she's a blood older sister and her brother is a 14 year old shota (and that she has incestuous feelings towards him). Probably the only issue is that she's just barely above 18, whereas there's many other girls who are older than her. Her birthday is also August 31st, much like Momoyo, meaning that she has a great month to be born in.
Grade: A

Total Grades: 92
Average score: 10.2
Final Grade: A-

And that's the blog for this week.

: Hmmm, so even when a girl is created to appeal to you they still cannot beat your “waifu”.

I suppose that I was a little rougher on you than I would normally be. Don't hold it against me, please.

: Ufufu, don't worry. I'll hold SOMETHING against you. And I'll be as rough as I want to be...

*Topaz looks worried again, swallowing while flustered.*

: Kah hah hah! You're so much fun to tease, you know! But don't worry. I know that we need to get out of this area. Now that the blog is done I can easily carry us all out! Do not worry, for I am here!

Swooon~

: Stop your swooning this instant, Topaz! I still have Ririchiyo's power, and-

*Rin appears to have demon wings, but she is stopped in mid-sentence as Jade appears in front of her.*

: Topaz and I were talking, so can you kindly be quiet?

: FOOL! You've played into my hand! Now, to just use this lamp-

*Rin aims the lamp at Jade, but the tall sister is too much for her.*

: CIRCLE! SQUAD! PUNNNCHH!

*Jade punches Rin in the stomach so hard, hitting the lamp with so much strength that it breaks, that Rin is pushed backwards. Jade then seems to punch in a circle around her fist, though moving at such speed that it doesn't look like the one in the center has moved at all. She then follows it up with an uppercut from her left hand that slams Rin against the walls of the valley, causing the cliffs to get huge cracks. She falls unconscious on the ground.*

: I sure hope that's enough to put her to sleep until we get back.

I hope she isn't dead. That would make for a bad joke.

: Don't worry. I still haven't used my full power!

That just worries me about your power... But thanks for saving me.

: Anytime, my sweet otouto. I just hope that you won't forget our little promise!

Certainly not!

: Good then. Let's get back to where you guys left from.

*Jade picks up the two unconscious girls, though Riri awakens in her arms.*

:W-wait. What just happened... I remember getting attacked by Rin, and then.. then...

She stole your powers, and apparently you fainted from it. She must have used her obelisk against you as well.

: But there is nothing to fear, as I am here!

:What's the meaning of this, Topaz? I thought that you weren't going to do girls from your harem because they'd break the curve for the other girls!

True, but this OC tradition needed a bit more meganekko to it. Plus she saved us!

:Then I shall apologize, Jade. I shall write-er, practice my penmanship, which may happen to be a long letter of apology.

: Thank you for that. Now, let's get back!

But how?

: Like this: HOOOWWAAAAHHH!

*Jade punches the air with such force that reality is split. In reality May and Hiroko helped, but they want to keep Jade thinking that she did it on her own so shhh. The four of them soon land back in the arena, though it seems that the battles are over.*

: WHAT THE? Not only have the two girls that mysteriously left returned, but now there's a tall girl in the center stage!

:We left?

I think that Rin set up an illusion of you two fighting, so when she fell unconscious the images went away. They must have considered it a mutual forfeit and the matches continued!

: That's right! Wait, that was an illusion? Nevermind. Here, let us crown our new victor!

:I may have returned to this accursed place after many years, but I am surprised that I have become the champion.

:Probably because Topaz already blogged you so he doesn't have to worry about you appearing in future competitions.

Shhh, don't tell people my secrets!

: Well, since Morgiana won she's able to fight Aldra now.

That's still a thing?

: So the reward for winning is MORE FIGHTING? That's my kind of tournament!

:Maybe you'll be able to come next year. Wait, no. I don't want to even THINK about facing you...

: Wah hah hah, that's fair. Maybe I'll take a break for a year. But don't think that this is the last you've seen of me, Topaz!

Certainly not. I'll be seeing you plenty later...

: Ufufu...

:Topaz. What happened while I was unconscious?

N-nothing...

: All's well that ends well-wait, where's Rin?

*Everyone looks around, but Rin is nowhere to be seen.*

: I just had her! Don't tell me she's planning another attack.

I imagine that after that last blow she'll never become a force of evil again...



: You're right. I'm sure that she's being taught a lesson!

*The three of them start leaving the stage.*

Well, I suppose that this is where we part for now. At least until the blog ends.

: Makes sense, and it's always good to see you. Hopefully we'll meet again!

*She waves as she walks away, with Riri and Topaz returning the wave.*

:Likely, as Topaz probably wouldn't put the effort into creating your image if it wasn't going to be reused.

Shhhh. Anyway, we have to think about who to talk about next week.

:I figured that you wouldn't have had a plan. And don't just look around like a cartoon character picking out a name-

Hey, this looks kind of good.

*Topaz looks at a perhaps familiar poster.*

Look, it's an “All-franchise idol show”! That should be interesting!

:More overly convenient if I would call it anything.

Don't be too picky. Now, let's see who will be here next Thursday. Ah! It's a strawberry from the planet strawberry!

:The voice actress?!

Nope. Instead it's a lead of a long-running idol show. She sure looks good with her blond hair with red ribbon.

:Jeez, just tell the readers who she is!

Well, let's just say that I've done her best blue friend a long time ago, while Zettai talked about her model brown-haired friend with a cool birthday as well...

:Wait, is this the same idol that Zettai talked about her mother?

That's the one!

Anime Relations: Touhou Niji Sousaku Doujin Anime: Musou Kakyou

This is the Four-hundredth-sixty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back, my adoring fans!

: You know that you don't actually have "adoring" fans. Just people who kinda deal with your blog.

Nonsense, I'm sure that many people enjoy my blog. I even got three different guest blogs last week!

: I know, I was there. Er, just don't go looking for them.

That's not a good sign. But getting back to the blog at hand, as you can see I've landed in the Touhou universe. While you might think that's because I'm dead, it's just because I had a near-death experience and went into shock.

: We're not completely sure how it worked either.

That said, using Magical Pretty Cure girls I was able to defeat a giant flaming elemental and protect those who were on my side. I'm just waiting here until I do my blog on the girl.

: Ah yes. When is she going to get here?

...I thought that you were going to get her.

: Wait, you don't know where she IS?

Ririchiyo usually takes care of these things! I'm as lost as you are.

: *Sigh* At least she should be around here. Somewhere, at least. So who were you going to talk about this week?

Nitori. I thought that the clues last time would be obvious.

: Ah yes. I do recall you saying something like that... Wait, isn't Nitori the one with Optical Camouflage?

Yes, I believe so.

: So we're looking for a girl that can turn invisible!

Exactly! Wait, hmmm...

: Go on. Think about it for a minute.

True that her invisibility would be a problem, but don't you have an ability that allows you to see hidden things?

: That only pertains to magical effects, at least as far as I know. Her item is more of a disguise check than outright invisibility.

Fair. Luckily I have another idea...

*Time passes and Topaz sets up a self-proclaimed ingenious trap. The two bloggers hide in nearby bushes beside a box with a wrench and cucumber under it.*

: You can't possibly think that this would work...

We have to at least try it.

*Eventually the box falls and traps something underneath it. The two Topazs go over to investigate.*

If that's me under there again I'm going to be very mad.

: I think we have caught Nitori this time!

*She pounds on the top of the box, making it shake.*

: Curse this simple prison! Let me out this instant you two ruffians!

We'll let you out shortly. We just want to make a deal with you.

: You may think that you have the upper hand, but wait until I get out of this box! And who uses a cardboard box anyway? It's not like I'm Kanako or someone!

Of course not. There's no way that her mature ass could fit in that box.

: Well, maybe. There just wouldn't be room for the rest of her.

: I'm not THAT short!

The idea is more that her ass is huge and mature. Anyway, the reason we had to capture you was because we had problems meeting you.

: You could have just asked!

: We were afraid you'd run away so we decided to trap you.

I wanted to make sure that you would allow me to do my blog on you.

: A blog eh? I've heard many other girls having one. Like Marisa or Patchouli in particular.

Exactly! So what do you think?

: I'm not quite sure... Maybe if you let me out I might be able to make a decision easier...

That sounds like a plan.

: EMPRY! Don't release her so easily. She's probably planning her escape as I'm talking as well!

But we can't exactly keep her inside this box. That wouldn't make for an interesting blog, and people would like to see what she actually looks like.

: Well, they can see my picture when I speak, but I understand what Topaz is saying. Let me out so that my fans can appreciate me!

: Fine, whatever.

*Topaz lifts the box slightly only to have it fly off far away. Nitori on the other hand seems to be blasting upward on a water-filled jetpack.*

: Mwah ha ha! You should have listened to Kimiko!

: Even here people call me "Kimiko"...

No time to wallow in self-pity. We have a job to take care of as Nitori seems to want a battle!

: But you just did that last week!

It's alright. I'm sure that this one won't last too long for some reason.

: That's right! I'm going to blast you straight away!

Wait! Can't we make some sort of deal?

: Well, I suppose that if you pay me enough I'll let you do my blog. I have a reputation to keep up, after all.

Not money! All I have in my pockets are lint, pocket change, and my hands!

: The latter is just because he's feeling around, not for any dirty reasons. That said, how are we going to deal with the girl with all the contraptions?

I'm not sure, but I'm certain the answer will just fall into our laps.

: Just because girls have a habit of appearing from nowhere doesn't mean that you should count on it! Besides, this is Gensokyo so the girls wouldn't necessarily be on your side.

: Enough delays, I can tell that you're not paying my high prices! Because of that, I'll punish you for trapping me in a box! Take this: Megawatt Linear Gun!

*Nitori pulls out a big laser gun from her backpack and aims it at Topaz. It charges power, with electricity flowing through it. However, her portable battery seems to run out and it goes offline immediately. Her water jets also fail, though they safely drop her to the ground as the nozzles sputter.*

: N-NO! Why did my inventions pick NOW to give up on me?

It's because you were watching us for so long with your camouflage up.

: Wait, you knew I was here the whole time? Why didn't you say anything?

: I imagine it's because he wanted to make it look like you had the upper hand.

Upper hand or not, I just want to talk about Nitori. Will that be alright?

: I guess I can allow it, but only because I have nothing to do while I replace my inventions' batteries.

Sounds good to me! And while she might not be paying too much attention I hope you readers do as...



Head
Hair: While not some of the best hair in the Touhou series, Nitori's hair is certainly unique and impressive. And I don't mean that in a bad way either. I like the dark blue color and it fits with the rest of her design (though I suppose some of the dark shading is due to her hat's shadow). Her dual twintails, while the details depend on the artist, are quite cute as well. I like how they're possibly through the sides of her hat. Oh, and before I forget Nitori wears a green hat with a brim, and there is a white wisp-like design on the front as well. There is some allusion to her hat and the classic Kappa headwear of a saucer, but I don't think that Nitori has ever taken it off. Also there seems to have been a joke where she has a bald spot under her cap, which is based on kappas as well. Back to her twintails, Nitori keeps them held in by two red beaded holders. Her bangs and sides also depend on the game and artist as well. I like her current look as her sides go to her shoulders, framing her face well, and her bangs are kept in a somewhat straight cut (though there does seem to be a pretty big gap). Overall while I probably would have liked her hair to be longer, or at least down on occasion, Nitori still has a really cute hairstyle and hat.
Grade: B

Eyes: Nitori does alright here. As with most Touhou girls her eyes and face are pretty drab, but the fighting games and manga do help out by making her look more appealing. Sadly her eyes are a dark blue, which aren't bad but are a little overused sometimes (though at least in Nitori's case it fits both her color scheme and hair color). They do seem bright which is nice, and the gentle gradient does look really pretty too. As a minus she does have rounded curves and I prefer a tsurime to a tarame like her's. I'm not a fan of her Hopeless Masquerade eyelashes though, they seem really big (but it was just for that game). Still, her eyes are quite cute and the color, while a little overplayed, goes with Nitori's colors well.
Grade: B-

Face: Like in the prior area, Nitori isn't up to my criteria in the original game but the fighting game and manga certainly help her out. That said, either version does have my type of features. This includes a cute mouth and small dot nose. In one of the books (not the manga) she also has a cat smile though it's faint and hard to see. Her head is rounded, but I like the simplicity and her hair helps to frame her face really well. She does very well here.
Grade: A-

Body
Build: Unfortunately Nitori's build isn't as great as her head seems to be. That's one unfortunate thing about the series, you don't get a good official look at her body. Nitori herself seems to be fairly average, if perhaps a little on the short side. It's hard to tell considering there's no official measurements. She does show some of her bare legs, but her bulky dress and backpack sadly cover her ass and she has tall boots as well. She also doesn't have a notable body part, like Letty and her fat hitbox or Yuyuko's namesake meaning her ass. As such this means that fanart is all over the place, both curvy and loli. I'd probably consider her to be more on the loli side of things, but that's just me. Also while it's rumored that kappa have the ability of tsuuhai, or that her arms are connected (so that extending one meant the other retracts) Nitori only has the ability to use mechanical arms to extend. Overall Nitori would be better with a more consistent body type, even if it's not one that appeals to me.
Grade: C

Chest: Nitori doesn't do too well here either. Not because she's flat, though I would say that she is and there's nothing wrong with that, but like before there's not a good fan art consensus on her chest size. People have pointed out that she's one of the few characters that has a tiny amount of chest, but that's due to her key and its straps pressing against her clothing. I wouldn't consider that to mean Nitori is slightly bustier than most of the cast, but it is kinda unfortunate as it attracts attention to her chest. Overall I'd say that Nitori is flat as that tends to be how the fighting and official works tend to make her.
Grade: C

Clothes: Nitori suffers from the same thing a lot of Touhou girls do; a lack of variety. Nitori's only outfit is a cute blue dress with many pockets and poofy shoulders. The shoulders also have pockets on them, and Nitori uses them to carry her various tools and other items. In her latest appearance she wears a blue shirt under the top layer as the top one is somewhat short (it shows her midriff slightly in another fighting game, though not her navel). As mentioned before this outfit does kinda hurt as it doesn't give a good view of her ass while her chest is somewhat emphasized by the key. The key is for her locked backpack which she carries with her. It's stuffed to the brim with her many inventions and weapons. It also symbolizes her kappa shell. Finally, she wears what appear to be blue rain boots, the color matching her outfit. Overall I do like the blue theme and the backpack is a cool character trait. I'd just wish that she would show off more. In an unofficial doujin (and probably a lot more) they did have Nitori wearing a school swimsuit which would really work well with her body shape, and it fits with her kappa/river theme.
Grade: C+



Mind
Personality: Nitori has a pretty interesting personality that's changed over time. In the beginning Nitori was a shy kappa who was interested in human products but was too shy to confront them (at least until the heroes came by). She also has powers over water even if they aren't as interesting as her SCIENCE abilities. You see, Nitori is one of the most technologically advanced characters in the franchise and many inventions are said to be by her. These include things like optical camouflage (as kappas are rumored to be able to be able to change color to suit their surroundings), extending arms (another kappa reference, as mentioned before), a kappa-based jetpack, and a mechanical Nessie. She even has Snake's Final Smash where she comes to the front of the screen and shoots I think grenades at her opponent! Like many kappa she also has a love of cucumbers. Surprisingly, as I did research on Nitori I found out that she has somewhat lost her shyness. Well, I suppose she's still somewhat quiet, but it's more because she's over confident and thinks that the others, in particular the humans, are beneath a mind like hers. There's also rumors that kappa can take out a human's intestines, which is unfortunate but luckily Nitori hasn't done anything like that. In Subterranean Animism she goads Marisa into fights with Yamame and others, though she's scared of Yuugi since the Oni are the original rulers of the mountain that she lives on and they would easily be able to take over. She's also got a good mind for business, with the expansion of her stall being what encouraged her to join the Hopeless Masquerade cast where instead of gathering faith she wants to gather money. At least that's what the translations say, but still. To be fair, Nitori wasn't too impressive and a little forgettable, but thanks to all of her appearances in the fighting games she's probably remained in the thoughts of her fans for quite some time. Going from a shy girl to a money-grubbing one is a downgrade, but it does add a little bit of character to her and makes Nitori seem more interesting. Doing my research has definitely lead me to like her more than I used to, though she still isn't one of my top Touhou girls. Still, Nitori is an interesting character in many ways.
Grade: A

Libido: Sadly Nitori doesn't do too well here. She doesn't show too much perversion. That said she does have one saving grace; she's among the many that are counted in Marisa's harem of girlfriends. This is because Nitori was one of her partners in Subterranean Animism. It's not too widely accepted, as both Patchouli and Alice have the magician thing in common while Reimu is a fellow protagonist. Nitori also, if rarely, gets paired with Hina due to the two being consecutive bosses in their original game. Other than that speculation and fan theories I can't be too sure.
Grade: C+

Age: There is no indication about Nitori's age that I could find. That said, she does look to be about the age of the protagonists (Marisa and Reimu) in looks. That doesn't mean much as Nitori is a Youkai (a kappa in particular) so there's no way to tell her actual age. Still, even with not knowing she couldn't be anything too outlandish and being a loli/teenhag would just make her better.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 66
Average score: 7.3
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the week. What do you think of it, Nitori?

: Well, I suppose that it isn't bad but I was expecting to get a higher score.

: Girls always think that.

It was your "body" area that did you in. You really should show more of your body.

: Or, ever better, say that instead of carrying inventions that backpack is just to carry your huge ass!

It's a little high up for that, but I like that idea. Nitori should show off her huge ass!

: Grrr, why would I want to show YOU two my huge ass?

I suppose that is more Zettai's area, but I like how you admit that you do have a huge ass. Sadly it won't help out your score but...

: Really now. So THIS won't help my score?

*Nitori tosses off her dress, revealing her sexy loli body in a sukumizu underneath. Her ass is quite large but not quite as big as say one of the more mature Touhou ladies would be.*

: Get a good look, Topaz! What do you think?

Hmmm, I agree that you look great but you need more official moments like this.

: Especially in that outfit!

: I knew that you'd enjoy it. But all things considered I should still punish you for not appreciating my body more!

: Oh believe me, I'd love to appreciate it a lot more.

Same here, but I really should be getting back.

: Getting back? You mean to your home dimension?

That's a good way of looking at it. I know that Riri and the others are waiting for me, so I'll be going soon.

: I suppose that should be fine. You've already finished discussing me and admired my beautiful kappa body.

Exactly. And I'm sure that my readers appreciated me talking about you. But for now, I must be going.

: See you when you need me next, Topaz!

: Thanks for talking about me. I'm sure to have obtained a lot of faith thanks to this blog!

Good to hear you have faith in the blog too!

: No, Empry. She said-

*Topaz leaves through a white hole in time and space.*

: Nevermind.

*Topaz eventually arrives where he stood to fend off Ragnaros. His arms and flesh is completely healed.*

Wow! Whoever did this did a really amazing job!

: Haaa! Thank you very much!

Wait, when did you get here?

: We called her here when we figured that our magic alone wouldn't be enough to save you.

: Not that we're weak, but we wanted to have some back up.

: You should have seen it. With a single wave of her wand Kotoha healed you instantly.

Thank you very much for that, all three of you. I couldn't have done this without you.

: W-well of course you couldn't! I'm just glad that you're back and fully healed, not that I had any worries to the opposite.

And in honor of feeling so good, I'll even do next week's blog on Mirai!

: M-ME? I know that I wanted one after Riko's blog but I wasn't expecting it to be so soon!

: *pouts* Uuuu, I wanted to be blogged by Topaz next! I was the one who rescued him!

: Now Kotoha, you have to remember to share. Mirai was promised first, so she gets the first blog.

: And you'll get yours later. Didn't that Zettai fellow already do one on you?

: Haaa, I still want to hear Topaz's thoughts about me!

: You'll have to wait until December. That means your blog will be in the same month as Christmas!

: I like Christmas! Hmmm, maybe I'll wait patiently until then now.

Sounds like I'll be doing Kotoha the week after next then! Be sure to join us then, but don't forget to check in with Mirai next week. See you all soon!

Anime Relations: Hatsune Miku x Tetsuya Nomura

This is the Four-hundredth-fifty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Topaz and Ririchiyo are continuing to go up the steps of Mount Time. Behind them is a girl with twintails skipping about.*

: Hey! I have a name, you know!

Of course. The narrator was just giving a description of the scene. I'm sure that my readers know that you're Lingyin, who we just looked at last time.

: If not, they should review the past blogs. That way they'll figure out that you're doing a special tribute blog for one of your friends.

: I remember you mentioning something about that. Where is this "friend" of yours?

Oh, he won't be joining us.

: Wait, what kind of tribute blog is this? At least back when you did Charlie he joined us.

And then he got turned into a magical girl monster of the week.

: So? At least then we'd have an interesting battle.

Plus Charlie is a special exception. I mean, we actually had a blog on one of his characters at one point. Though being fair he's not creative and that means over two thirds of his characters.

: That is true, though it was before my time.

That it was. Sadly the MAL version of that blog is ruined due to website issues. For those that would like to read it, I'll suggest reading it at my wiki. Someday I'd like to have all my blogs on that site...

: That's never going to happen. You can barely keep up as it is.

Sadly that is true. Even Charlie forgets that the blogs are on Thursdays.

: Being fair that's sort of a running joke at this point.

: Running jokes aside, isn't it about time to introduce the girl?

Probably. I just hope that I don't get crashed into like last time!

: Specifically by a mecha musume!

: I said I was sorry about that!

: But not on camera...

: Fine then, I'm sorry!

Don't worry, Lingyin. I'm sorry too.

: But you didn't do anything wrong...

Well, let's just say that I'm apologizing in general. For a great deal many things, both for me personally and for terrible things happening this week.

: Don't worry. I'm sure Zettai understands!

One can only hope.

*Suddenly a wormhole opens up and a tall pink-haired girl exits.*

: Hmm? Did I hear something about "Hope"?

You must have good ears to have heard that. But yes, we did mention it.

: He's not an "it", he's a young boy!

: That just seems problematic and confusing. Speaking of being confused, who do you think you are?

: I'm Lightning.

: That sounds like a silly name.

: ...It isn't my birthname. I'd give you that, but I really don't trust you enough. "Lightning" suits me just fine.

Well then, welcome Lightning. I'm Topaz and this is Ririchiyo and Lingyin. We're going up Mount Time to train at the summit.

: I see then. This being Mount Time does make sense for me to appear. I've been traveling in stasis, and I must have gotten lost.

: What's stasis?

: One of the most annoying Magic decks... Wait, no. It means that she was sleeping for a long time.

And be glad that Lightning didn't use terminology that would require readers to look up a glossary.

: I am also here to save the souls of humanity.

: That's good. Topaz's soul needs all the saving that he can have.

: Really? Well then, what can I do for you?

Let me talk about you in my weekly blog!

: Er, what does that mean?

: It means that he'll talk about you for a bit. Maybe have some fanservice or something. Nothing two painful.

: There may also be a battle involved. Maybe.

Probably not.

: Harumph. Well, it seems that the fates have brought me to this location for a reason. If that reason is to be talked about, I won't complain.

That's actually refreshingly helpful.

: I imagine that it helps that she's used to being a L'Cie, and by not doing her focus so she'd become a monster.

: That sounds awful. What happens if she does do it?

: I get frozen in crystal until the next time I get a focus.

: That sounds really stupid.

Like a lot of things in Final Fantasy XIII I imagine...

*Lightning whips out her gunblade and places it near Topaz's neck.*

: I believe that I misheard you. What did you say?

*Topaz gulps* I-I have no strong feelings on the game whatsoever!

: That's what I thought.

*She pulls her weapon away, and Topaz rubs his neck.*

Sheesh. I hope that you won't be doing that the entire blog.

: I cannot make promises.

That's understandable, I guess. Now, let's celebrate this week by saying...



: Wait-Why do you have such a poor picture for me when you have a better one available?

It's become tradition to use that sort of picture for Final Fantasy characters. Especially as a lot of them don't have images on MAL.

: If only there were a Final Fantasy VI manga or something. You'd think that it would be obvious.

Or Final Fantasy IV!

: Whoa, don't get carried away. We don't want them to think of even more fanfic ideas like The After Years...

: All your words don't make sense. Especially the fact that this girl is also called Clair or something.

: Ah, I suppose that to talk about me you'd have to mention my true name.

Yes, or at least the overseas version. In Japan you were called Éclair.

: Sounds delicious.

That's why they didn't want to keep her name.

: Can't you Westerners think of anything else but food? Sheesh...

Mmm... food. Wait, I have a blog to get to! Let's get started now!

Head
Hair: Lightning has somewhat troubling hair. Then again I may be biased against the high-def new fangled games kids are playing these days, and Lightning is one example. Anyway, one of the problems is that she does have pink hair. Nothing wrong with pink hair, but this is one of the cases where too much of the cast has the same color (at least the female cast). There's too many pink haired girls in the cast, as out of the four girls only Fang is an exception. I do suppose that it makes sense for Lightning and Serah to match hair colors due to being sisters, but still. Early art seems to have had Lightning be brown (or silver, but that color was given to Hope), which wouldn't have been too awful. As far as length, Lightning's hair isn't too bad. It's about chest length, though that's because it's resting on her shoulder. Her bangs are fairly basic, with a part on the left and a windswept look. She has some spikes in the front as well, which reminds me of Cloud's hair somewhat (though not as Chocobo-like). That said, while pretty bland I wouldn't say that it's too terrible, but my main problem is that it looks like Lightning's hair is either wet or greasy for some reason. Again that may just be me hating on the 3D graphics, but I'm not a big fan.
Grade: C+

Eyes: Lightning's eyes are officially said to be blue, but there are green aspects in them. The model makes it difficult to tell just looking at her, though it could be because Lightning has somewhat narrow eyes. Not slit-like, but narrow seems to be how a lot of Final Fantasy heroines are designed (ever since Rinoa, though it did skip IX). Nothing too interesting, but there was one thing that does help Lightning in this area. In Lightning Returns she wears sunglasses, in a cutscene no less. They're cool ones, with butterfly-like wings on the end pieces (that's the outer edge of the frame). She also has a lot of glasses adornments in that game as well, so you can customize her to wear glasses. And really, that's a good gameplay mechanic. So, not too interesting but nice glasses.
Grade: B-

Face: I suppose that we have to discuss my problem with 3D graphics here too. Overall I'm not a big fan of the faces in this game, Lightning included. In particular her face is somewhat masculine, though that may be because she's based off Cloud and Squall. She also has a fair-sized nose which is a downside as always. She has it in some 2D appearances as well, including art for Dissidia. Overall not overly bad, but not something I'm a big fan of.
Grade: B-

: So what do you think of the blog so far?

: Not bad, I suppose. I can't say I was expecting that much. It does sound like you really know your things.

Thanks for saying that!

: You must have played the game quite a bit to know all that.

Uhhh...

*Topaz looks to the side, trying to hide his ignorance.*

: You DID play my game. Even if it's just the first.

: You know Topaz doesn't have time to play games anymore. He barely has time to watch other people play them. In fact, that's likely how he knows so much about you, Lightning. Right, Topaz?

Errrr...

*Topaz continues to turn away and sweats profusely. He gets smacked on the head by Ririchiyo.*

: TOPAZ! What have we told you about doing girls you're not familiar with.

Sorry about that, I couldn't think of any other better girls to do.

: Well, what other games does he like.

I'm pretty sure the God of War series has even less girls than Final Fantasy...

: Well, there's always that one angel he likes from Magic.

I'm not doing a blog on Avacyn, Riri. Even if it would turn out better than some of the other Innistrad angels. Poor Gisela. And Bruna. And Brisela.

: Wait, I'm lost I think...

: Well, you see the angels got melded together due to eldrich horrors...

: I think that's more confusing than I was to begin with. Maybe we should just drop it...

A fine idea. Then we can get back to Lightning's blog.

: Just one question. How do you know me so well?

Well, I did play-

: Don't say the Theatrhythm Demo, Topaz. That doesn't count.

Certainly not. I was about to say that she's one of my best units in Record Keeper.

: What's that?

: Some dumb phone game or something. And it's not like Topaz really WANTS you to be one of his strongest. Blame the gatcha seeming to favor you for some reason.

Luckily my Faris is strong too.

: I don't mind, but how are you going to figure me out just through that?

It does give a summary of the games. Plus I read about you quite a bit.

: I guess that's enough. Hopefully...

True. Speaking of which, let's get on with the show!

Body
Build: Lightning does surprisingly poorly here. Her height is fine, being a nice and tall 171 cm (though I suppose compared to some of the other Final Fantasy characters that seems short. Even Snow from her game is an even 200 cm). Sadly this is as good as she gets. She's pretty slender, both her body and limbs. She is pretty strong and acrobatic, which is good, but sadly even though she shows off her legs well they aren't too meaty. Lightning also has a navel piercing, if one that's hard to see (and she loses it in XIII-2). Sadly even though she seems to show off her ass a little they didn't give her any animation so it sadly looks flat and unmoving. Her ass is in fact so bland that people have compared it to a pancake and said that she literally had no butt, just that her thighs connect to her back. Obviously this is awful. In general she's not too interesting and very bland, outside of her somewhat-tall height.
Grade: C-

Chest: The fact that Lightning doesn't show off too much does help a little here. Her chest isn't too big, looking about normal for an adult (and Fang, from what I've heard, is more of a chest girl). Some of her garbs in Lightning Returns do show off her cleavage and she has some slight bounce, but it's quite hard to notice from what I've heard (if the people who mentioned it didn't just imagine it). I would also mention that her L'Cie brand is on her left breast above her heart. There is an advertisement which focuses on this mark, but I want to imagine that was unofficial and won't count it (it was from the art director of Deus Ex, another Square Enix franchise).
Grade: B-

Clothes: Lightning does alright here. In the first game she mainly wears an altered Guardian Corps uniform, which includes a white dress and shorts, with accessories like a pauldron, silly boots, blue gloves, a cape, and a couple of belts to carry her sheathes. She seems to have shorts on under it, but it looks a little hard to tell. In XIII-2 Lightning wears a Valkyrie outfit, commonly called a "Knight of Etros". This is a black suit of armor with exposed shoulders and a bit of her thighs too. She also wears a terrible white feathery skirt in back and tall boots. It looks cool, but isn't especially sexy. She also has a more-complete suit of black armor called the "Savior". Most of her upper body is covered, though she has boob-plates which are pretty stupid. Lightning also carries a red shield and has tall boots as well. Of course, the best outfits are Lightning's many garbs in Lightning Returns. These include outfits based on former Final Fantasy characters including Faris, Locke, Cloud, Aeris, and Yuno. She also has a moogle lover outfit with many plush moogles hanging off (at least, I hope they're plush...). There are a lot of different outfits in her garbs as well, many of which are suits of armor, suits in general (which I like), revealing outfits like the succubus-like Nightmare, and beautiful dresses. Overall, while too many garbs to list Lightning gets quite a bit of help from them and gets a good score here.
Grade: B

: I'm still surprised you've found out so much about a girl you didn't know too much about.

Yeah, that sort of thing happens when researching.

: You must be a pretty good friend to work as hard as you have.

: You have no idea...



Mind
Personality: Lightning is the type of girl who I want to like more. She has a lot of traits I like, but there's something holding her back. For the good points she is somewhat-masculine and determined, with a somewhat-strong force of personality. Lightning is also somewhat snarky from what I can tell, and is a protective if aloof older sister. In fact, her parents died so she had to raise her sister Serah and go on many journeys to rescue her. After high school Lightning joined the Guardian Corps Bodhum Security Regimen and did quite well it seems. It sounds like she also lashes out at others, blaming the ones responsible for Serah getting captured. She also travels with Hope, meaning the character, and slowly seems to open up. It seems that in Lightning Returns she continues to be cold, due to losing her emotions in the time between the stories (though it's implied that she gave them up herself). Still, she's a cool character and I probably wouldn't mind her (especially if she was in a better game...). Lightning is voiced by Maaya Sakamoto in the Japanese versions and Ali Hillis in the English versions (blame most of the videos I looked at being in English for me mentioning her). Both suit her pretty good, with Maaya probably doing better, but as mentioned I don't know how it sounds in the actual game. Maaya is probably most famous these days for doing Shinobu from the Monogatari series, but other major roles include Ciel from Kuroshitsuji, Makoto from Ghost in the Shell, and strangely enough Aeris (which I imagine makes Dissidia games sorta silly to listen to xD).
Gameplay-wise Lightning is sort of a Red Mage, able to use both physical attacks and magic well. She can use the Commando, Ravager, and Medic classes to start with, meaning she's a physical attacker, magical attacker, or healer (though after a certain point she's able to use the other classes). She has the second-best attack and magic in the game, though this seems to be balanced by her weapons not giving as much stats as other peoples. She also has the second-lowest hit points in the game. Her Full ATB skill, which seems to be the game's equivalent to Limit Breaks maybe, is "Army of One" (or, depending on game, "Legion of One"). It's good in that it hits 11 times it seems, and can be spammed using a certain weapon. She gains more attacks in XIII-2, including Lightning Strike, Focused Bolt, Graviton Mines, and War's Benediction as well as the defensive Ullr's Shield. In addition, her personal Eidolon in the series is Odin which is, surprise surprise, lightning-based damage. As usual it's a mounted guy, but Lightning can ride alongside him.
Sadly, even with the cool older sister side and the nice combat abilities there is a problem with Lightning: her popularity. She's way too popular in general and has way too many cameos. In addition it's hard to say it wasn't intentional to make her overly popular or marketable either; her personality seems very in-line with popular past heroes like Cloud and Squall. She even has a gunblade, though they explain this by saying XIII was about "transformation" so it fits. To be fair she is a female lead, so some popularity is to be given, but she seems to get plastered on everything. She's even one of the three on the icon for Record Keeper, along with Cloud and Tidus (which is a shame as the art style seems to point closer to the SNES era). Lightning also has three games in the series, one of which has her name in it even. Granted she wasn't playable in XIII-2, at least not for a major amount of time, but still. She also had the strongest card in the Triple Triad mobile game (It had two A's, a 9, and a 7), though it got nerfed eventually (one of the A's became a 1). There's probably other things that I'm forgetting, but Lightning seems too manufactured or marketable to really appeal to me.
Grade: B-

Libido: Lightning's libido does seem pretty low. She really doesn't have much time for romance, and is the type of lead that really doesn't show too much interest. She's definitely more interested in the job than relationships. That said, there's still a spark or two. For one, there's a lot of sisterly affection she has for her sister Serah. Lightning really cares for her, even if she doesn't show it early on. Lightning also travels quite a bit with Hope, who is a 14 year old boy (well, it gets complicated due to all the time travel, but imagine him being younger than Lightning). She becomes somewhat like a mother or older sister to the young boy as well. While probably not as good as it seems, on paper that sounds to my liking but I doubt anything actually happens.
Grade: C+

Age: This is, for my purposes, Lightning's best area. That said, it is a little odd. The story starts at Lightning's birthday, and she's turning 21 from 20. Overall not too bad, easily enough to get max points from the get-go. She remains 21 for the majority of the series, which isn't too surprising. Then, due to being incased in crystal before the events in Lightning Returns (the third game) and being sealed for 500 years she's suddenly chronologically 521. That said, it hasn't effected her at all so I can't complain too much. She gets a great score here.
Grade: A+

Total Grades: 64
Average score: 7.1
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for the week!

: Hmmm. I can't tell if I did good or not.

Not too bad, but there have been better. I blame your flat ass and lack of libido.

: Whatever. But now that this "blog" of yours is complete what do you want me to do?

: Ooh! Ooh! You can come with us! I'm sure that Topaz would love more party members!

: He'd appreciate the help, but he'd likely be lazy with giving people good lines.

I have noted that I am quite terrible when it comes to writing. I just have foreshadowing down, and even then it's poor.

: I'm sure your readers still enjoy your blogs quite a bit! At least, when they're not terrible.

: Eh, I'm not too important. I figure that I've done my focus and-GET DOWN!

*Lightning pushes the other three down. Bullets seem to rain down from the side of the staircase above them.*

: What the? Who could be attacking us?

: It must be Futsure! I was wondering when she was going to ambush us!

Wait, does that mean you doomed us all?

: That's why I didn't say it out loud!

: Looks like it doesn't matter, we're still pinned down!

: Well, looks like it's up to me. Paradigm shift: Sentinel!

No, don't do that! You have low health!

: It's alright. I just need to take the heat off you three. Then you three will flank the attacker.

: I'm not sure how good we'll be. I don't have the energy to summon my Stratos, Topaz looks like a weakling, and I'm not sure about the other girl.

: I'm decent, but I'm not sure how well this will work.

: It'll have to work. I'm not letting you give up on your focus, Topaz!

It's just training that I have to do...

: Still though. We'll beat this foe together!

*Lightning runs off, avoiding the rain of bullets.*

Wow, look at her go and avoid all of the attacks.

: Enough feeling wowed by her evasion stat, Topaz. She'll probably not last long, so we should get going!

Good plan.

*Topaz, Riri, and Lingyin sneak up the stairs, trying to be stealthy. They manage to get on the other side of the girl, who is focusing her umbrella fire on Lightning running in a zig-zag fashion. Topaz leaps down*

SNEAK ATTA-

: Gotcha.

*Before Topaz could attack Mirai grabs her grenade launcher, blasting Topaz in the chest. Fortunately he didn't take much damage, only dealing about 15.*

: TOPAZ! Are you alright?

Yeah. That weapon didn't do as much damage as I expected.

: ... How? *looks puzzled.*

: That doesn't matter! I have you right where I want you!

*Mirai drops the launcher and pulls out her umbrella again. However as she aims it at Topaz a gunblade is thrown at it, knocking it out of Mirai's hands. As the umbrella was open it starts rolling down the mountainside.*

: Oh no! My umbrella!

Thanks Lightning!

*Her voice comes out from the forest.*

: Don't mention it.

You going to come back here?

: No, I am good. You've gotten this far, and I'm not babysitting you against someone so young.

: I'm not that young, it's just that all the other girls in my series are such cows! Disgusting, mamocentric cows!

: I sure know what that's like...

: And as a result I'll be the one to force you to quit blogging!

I don't think that will happen.

: Oh yeah? Let's see what will happen when you talk about me!

You must be underestimating my feelings for you. But indeed, it looks like we'll be looking at the great Mirai next time!

: While I imagine Lightning is going to go find her gunblade. Seriously, I think it rolled all the way down the mountain after hitting the umbrella.

Anime Relations: Anime Tenchou x Touhou Project

This is the Four-hundredth-nineteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. Last week we looked at Ryouko.

: That's me, ufufu.

Also Ririchiyo didn't allow me to have any fun.

: That's because your form of "fun" makes people chew you out. And also I have to keep this blog clean and appropriate!

: That is a good plan. People these days are so i-immodest it embarrasses me just to watch!

: And believe me, considering our show it happens quite a bit.

: I suppose that this blog is still less perverse than To Love-Ru. Though that isn't saying much.

Right, that's like saying we're less perverse than DxD or Okusama. It's not a difficult task, and we even pull it off by being less mamocentric.

: Or at least he tries to be.

True, sometimes the girls are bad choices. No offense meant.

: None taken.

But enough about the fanservice of my blog, we need to get to the blog itself!

: Certainly, and I do believe that I was coming up next.

That's right, as promised last week...

*Suddenly a girl with heterochromatic eyes and an unbrella leaps out of the nearby supply closet.*

: SURPRISE! And I come with this...



*The girl spins her umbrella, seeming proud of herself. The other girls are in shock, with Topaz being alright. Ririchiyo shakes her head, her hair looking beautiful as it goes back and forth.*

: That really astonished me!

No wonder you all flinched! Though I guess it doesn't have THAT good a chance.

: Hey, why didn't it affect you?

I'm normal, Ririchiyo.

: Curse you type immunities.

*As the two are complaining Ryouko and Oshizu regain their senses.*

: Who dares to come in and take my blog from me?

: They call me "Kogasa", and I'm here to get the yearly Touhou blog!

: Oh yeah, that was supposed to be last week wasn't it?

Yep.

: Apologies for butting in where my fat 91 cm ass didn't belong though.

: Don't worry, I wasn't able to get out until now.

: Wait, you were trapped inside the whole time?

: Not really trapped, but I've waited patiently.

Good thing that this blog doesn't have an actual week between them sometimes.

: Time is relative.

: Please, do not ignore my query! I must know why you have decided to ruin my blog!

Don't worry, I'll do it next time. (Good thing this month has five Thursdays-er, I mean...)

: See? You'll still get a blog!

: Perhaps you should be the one who must be patient!

*Oshizu starts getting angry, but the tongue on Kogasa's umbrella licks up her body. She twitches as if paralyzed before fainting.*

: Oshizu! What happened?

: Seems like Lick was Super Effective, and it likely has STAB too!

And she's an Esper too, thus she takes 4x damage from Ghost moves!

: Like a Hoopa!

: Enough hooplah, I'll go take care of Oshizu. You can do this woman's blog.

*Ryouko carries Oshizu away.*

: Well, you should do as she says.

Don't worry, I plan on doing just that. Now, let's begin...

Head
Hair: Kogasa has a fairly nice hairstyle. The main appeal is in the color, a lovely light blue. I would have enjoyed a darker color, but it does look really nice especially when contrasted with her dark purple umbrella. Speaking of the umbrella, I'm not sure if that's supposed to count as her headgear which almost every Touhou character is required to wear (otherwise she's one of the few that does not). Kogasa also has wavy bangs that are swept to the left. The sides of Kogasa's hair curls inward slightly, running even with her mouth or so. Sadly not everything is great. The biggest problem is that her hair is very short, not even reaching her shoulders even if it is free. That's likely her biggest problem and makes her seem a little bland (there's quite a few short-haired girls in the series, and it's not like Kogasa has interesting headwear either to help her stand out).
Grade: B

Eyes: Technically while Kogasa doesn't have headwear she DOES have a unique feature here instead. Yes, Kogasa has heterochromia which means she has two different eye colors. Her right eye is red and her left is blue. This plays up the fact that she's a karakasa obake which tend to only have a single eye. This makes more sense as her blue eye is the same color as her hair, meaning it's a little camouflaged. Sadly the problem is that this is Touhou and the actual games aren't known for having amazing art. As a result this means that Kogasa's eyes are extremely simple, being circles. As I'm not a fan of rounded tarame eyes this does hurt her a little bit. It's possible that they look better in the manga, but Kogasa is fairly new-wait, you mean her game came out in 2009? Man I'm behind as far as Touhou goes...
Grade: B-

Face: Anyway, getting back to Kogasa we arrive at her face. Sadly the art style of the games doesn't help her here either. She does look somewhat pale, though that may just be the game's palette. As an added plus she does have small features, including a dot nose which helps her a bit. Again she's a lot cuter in the manga, though I can't be sure how much she's featured. She's even usually missing a nose, which I do appreciate.
Grade: B-

: Did you know I have a brown eye too?

Such language! Where did you come up with such a thing?

: Some friends I met on the way here told me about it. They also asked for directions to one of your friend's houses.

: You pamper Zettai too much.

He deserves it though!

: Maybe, but hopefully he gets back into blogging.

He'd have to get his computer back, and he's planning on returning sometime next year.

: Good, I wonder what he's been up to...



: You know, maybe I shouldn't have thought about it...

: Hey, how did you know all the old ha- I mean delightful and young gals- I met on my adventure?

We have our ways. But enough of that-Unless I can have some fanservice?

: No.

Curses, though I'll try again next week. But for now let's continue onward!

Body
Build: Sadly Touhou's art style does have a bit of trouble here too. Kogasa really doesn't show too much, and she doesn't stand out either. Her legs and feet are simplistic, even in the manga, and it's not like we get a good shot of her backside either. She's slender too, but I wouldn't consider to be one of the "loli" girls either as she looks pretty similar age-wise to the protagonists. I really wish that she could have better artwork, though not fan art either.
Grade: B-

Chest: It seems that Kogasa is flat, but it's hard to tell. Not that there would be a problem with her being flat, but Touhou usually doesn't focus on differences too much in official works. Like with her body I wouldn't mind if we could get a few good shots in, but I guess we can't have everything. That said it's likely that Kogasa is still slender, much like a lot of the characters, and if I could verify it better I'd probably give her a better grade. But between holding her arm in front of her chest in the game and wearing a heavy shawl in the manga it's surprisingly hard to estimate.
Grade: C+

Clothes: Kogasa only has a single outfit, though it's a fairly nice and unique one. Her main outfit consists of a white blouse with poofy shoulders and long sleeves, a blue vest that matches her hair color, a lighter blue skirt with some designs that reaches far down her thighs (though not to her knees), and geta. The geta are interesting as not only do the karakasa known for them but "Tanara" is a Japanese way of smelting iron and the blacksmiths would wear geta to avoid the heat of the floor. I will also say it's possible that Kogasa is wearing white pantyhose, but I imagine that's just her skin tone. In the manga she also wears a fluffy shawl. I suppose I can count her umbrella here (though it's wondered if Kogasa's human or umbrella form is "her"; the accepted answer being "both"). Anyway the umbrella looks like a fairly classic Japanese one, with a single large red eye in front and a zig-zag mouth with a tongue hanging out of it. It also has a bit of black at the top in the center, giving a somewhat eggplant motif.
Grade: B-



Mind
Personality: Kogasa's main ability is to surprise people, as she's a youkai (or more specifically a " karakasa obake", as mentioned before) that consumes a human's "surprise". Yeah, it sounds sorta odd to me too. I do hope that she doesn't starve though, considering she's somewhat poor at actually surprising people. That said, she does surprise the player as, while she was a stage boss she wasn't important to the plot but she still became the mid-boss to the extra stage. That said, Kogasa is likely one of the friendliest youkais in the Touhou universe as she doesn't try to harm or eat humans, only spook them a little. She even started to read ghost stories to improve her abilities, and come the next game she now lives in a graveyard where humans are already on edge. Her profile even mentions something similar to "She finally did it. Amazing." Before then it was more common for people to play along and act like she scared them as Kogasa has a habit of sulking and being depressed after failing to scare someone. In addition, from the descriptions of some of her spell cards it could be said that she has self-esteem issues as well. She even briefly considers going back to being a normal umbrella as then she'd be of some use, but fortunately she does not. In addition to her surprising hobby (meant in a literal way) Kogasa also has another talent that's explored in the manga. She's actually a skilled blacksmith, getting some of the powers of the One-Eyed Youkai of Kotoyouka. She goes out on that day making needles for people who are throwing theirs away (which includes Reimu, even if Kogasa gets beaten up a few times in the process). As far as attacks, it seems like she's able to rain down bullets and other storm-based powers (she even has a couple named after Bubble Bobble games). I was expecting her to just be about her surprises, but I guess she did actually surprise me by having more depth with her self-esteem problems and skill at blacksmithing. Overall pretty impressive for what basically comes down to a filler boss.

: Hey, filler can be awesome. Like with Vegeta being beaten up by a little girl!
Grade: B

Libido: Sadly Kogasa doesn't seem to show much libido. I don't even know if there's a main pairing for her, considering she's not involved with the story too much. I suppose that she may have some connection with Nue, as they are the mid-boss and boss of the extra level respectively. There's also the fact that Kogasa mentions sadism in Reimu's route, though considering Reimu was saying that Kogasa seemed to enjoy losing it was actually the opposite of that. It's a shame as I like girls who are more aggressive. She's also occasionally bullied by Sanae in fan works, though it may just be due to the wording in their conversations. Still, I would have liked her to have a more concrete pairing or be more dominant or something.
Grade: C

Age: It's unknown how old Kogasa is, for multiple reasons. For one, she's a karakasa obake which means her umbrella "body" is at least a century old. I don't know if I should count the time she didn't have a consciousness or not, and I don't know how long ago she assumed her youkai form either. She does reference some old stories and the past to the player characters (much to their annoyance), but without a set date I can't be sure. I'll still consider her on the high end of her teens, since that's what she looks like to me.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 63
Average score: 7
Final Grade: B-

And that's the blog for the week.

: A shame, that looks fairly average.

: Being fair outside of the whole "surprise" thing Topaz doesn't know too much about you. I guess first impressions are everything.

Especially if you're a Golisopod!

: Exactly! But speaking of him it's time that I made my Emergency Exit!

*Kogasa opens the window and leaps out of it. Her umbrella makes her able to float away, though in an upward arc.*

Wow, looks like she's Mary Poppins away-ed.

*Oshizu returns, opening the door with a stern face. She enters and Ryouko follows.*

Oh? Welcome back you two. Feeling better?

: That I am, but since you delayed my blog for that umbrella girl I formally request that I be done next time.

Of course, I was planning on it. And I'm certain that no one will burst in!

: Hopefully he's telling the truth...

This is the Four-hundredth-fourteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

: Welcome back everyone to the show that everyone is tuning in to watch!

Oh man, am I suddenly in Keijo!!!!!!!!?

: Topaz, not everyone is watching that.

They should, and grade it high too. It deserves far better than MAL users give it.

: Ahem. As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, we're here at the second round of Aldra's special fall tournament. We have Topaz here, who has provided his worth by defeating Esdeath last time.

: Fortunately she did not fall into the Void. Though she did get crystalized.

: Indeed, and this week he has to face the Earthen General Quake! And at the Terrain Arena as well!

: Certainly. Though I do dislike that silly name. Call me Kuvira, or General Kuvira if you would like to be proper.

*Kuvira cracks her knuckles and then her neck in an intimidating fashion.*

: So when are we going to start this battle?

Uh... I mean, after my blog.

: Oh? I get one of those silly things as well.

: Careful Topaz, she's a rare character that's neither from anime or from a game. She must be especially devious.

Not necessarily. Remember, I did another girl from her series a long time ago.

: Eh? That must have been before my time.

It was. Many years ago I did Toph.

: EH?! You have spoken to Toph, one of the best earthbenders and the originator of metalbending?

Yes, back when she was a little girl.

*Kuvira thinks hard.*

: Wait, how old is this blog?

About to be nine!

*She thinks harder, even rubbing her head.*

: Wait, this makes no sense...

: Time is silly, but it's more because your sequel series hadn't quite come out back then. As a result Topaz only had the original series. I'm guessing at least.

Exactly, or rather Toph hadn't shown up in your series yet.

: I see, I think. But regardless, I shall allow you to do your silly talking first.

That's quite gracious of you. I'm glad that I have such reasonable opponents.

: I'm not, but then again I enjoyed the battle last time.

: Not everyone did.

I apologize!

: And that's not counting too much exposition birthday chatter!

I apologize again! Is that what you wanted to hear? Was the Tintinabar really worth losing that?

: Yes-wait, I thought it was just the Charm Bangle?

You missed talking to a few units, forgot the Special Forces battle, and asked a question twice.

: CURSES!

: Um, can we get back to the blog.

: Indeed, I am waiting patiently to hear you praise me. Do not keep me waiting too long though.

Fine fine, let's get this stone rolling!



Head
Hair: Kuvira has alright hair, with a good color being brought down by her style. Of course, the good thing is that her hair is a dark black which is always nice. Sadly the style is where she suffers. It's pulled back into a sorta bun above the back of her neck. I really don't like it, mostly because it sacrifices her bangs and sides so she seems to have a larger forehead than she should. It does look quite professional and reserved, which does fit with her character but I really like having the face framed. Oh and she has a part above her left eye as well as a nice white barrette in back (nothing cute like a bow or anything). Her hair is about medium length, going past her shoulders (not that much shows though). She also has bumps on the sides, which seem like braids but they aren't detailed enough to be definite. I do like how sometimes, after a particularly rough battle, she looks a bit more disheveled and her hair is a mess. It shows how her struggle. Also, while I didn't notice (as she didn't seem too important) but in her first appearance she had a long braid and helmet. Shame she didn't keep that look.
Grade: B-

Eyes: I do really like narrow eyes, so Kuvira does well here. They still show quite a bit of emotion as well, and while the tops are mainly straight they do seem to have a slight tsurime to show off her dominant side. She also has green eyes, and while I can't remember well enough to say if there's many green-eyed girls Kuvira herself matches her green-themed clothing well. Also, as you can probably see Kuvira has pretty big eyebrows which look neat too.
Grade: B-

Face: Sadly being a Western-designed character (somewhat) Kuvira does suffer here. Especially with her large nose, even if it's not always fully-detailed. Her chin is also fairly pronounced, though not too badly or noticeable in the series itself. She also has a beauty mark under her right eye, a feature she seems to share with her voice actress. What helps Kuvira slightly is that she is usually smug or dominant and her face is often stoic to show it. Sure she has moments of desperation but she's never too flustered and always seems in control. I can't tell if she's darker-skinned compared to the rest of the Earth Nation population, I can't notice if it's that or if I had just found some shadowy images for reference.
Grade: C+

Body
Build: Sadly we don't get a good look at this area. Kuvira just covers herself up too well. I would say she's about average for her age, being somewhat shapely but not to outlandish (this is a kid's show, after all. Not that kid's shows don't have shapely girls but still). She does seem like she would be well-build, as if she has a muscular frame and stomach. From what I can tell she's also ever so slightly shorter than her love interest as well, though I don't have any specific measurements either. Overall it's too difficult to tell.
Grade: C

Chest: Kuvira has some chest, but again it's difficult to tell. She's not extremely busty and looks about average for her age.
Grade: C

Clothes: As mentioned before this is the reason Kuvira does so badly. On one hand I do think that her Earth Kingdom military outfit looks cool and fits her personality well. It consists of a green bodysuit with sleeves (and sadly not skin-tight) and skirt with a lighter green tabard-like design in front. She wears olive pants as well, and sadly the skirt takes away any shape her rear end has which is really unfortunate. She wears a metal belt as well, and along her shoulders, collar, and forearms she has metal strips which she can use to bind opponents. She also wears brown boots and green or grey gloves (she has two different sets it seems). All the green is because it's the national color of the Earth Nation, of which she leads but more about that later. She also receives a large gold medal at a coronation, but she crushes it. In her initial appearance she wears more armor on her upper body as well as a samurai-looking helmet (due to the "trident" in front). Kuvira occasionally wears the armor later on, but it's mainly the pauldrons/shoulders she wears.
Grade: C-

Mind
Personality: Kuvira is a very cool villain, and by that I mean she's reserved and sorta TDB-like (she's lacking the long hair, I imagine). She's often cold and calculating, but gives off a proud feeling and very rarely seems to let things out of her grasp. She's also fairly polite but is easily angered by those who question her orders. She even held someone above train tracks (while riding a train) when they were feeling guilty about what they were making; she even went as far as to mock their conscience. She'll also ship people who speak outwardly about her plans to re-education camps, so she does have a bit of Nazi-like personality. That said, she's a great example of a well-intentioned extremist, doing much of what she's doing to help out her country. However, her plans slowly become revealed to be not as good as previously expected, and she even gets a rare Western animation-styled mecha to prove her superiority! Then again even before that she's a powerful fighter, with an establishment moment with her defeating a group of bandits single-handedly. That said, it's revealed near the end that the reason that Kuvira didn't want to give up on the Earth nation is because her parents abandoned her as a child. Overall she's a great villain that slowly gets her plans discovered and eventually learns the way she was doing things was incorrect. In this way she's somewhat a parallel to the lead Korra who, after a major injury, became disillusioned in what she might be doing is incorrect. Finally, Kuvira is voiced by Zelda Williams, who gives her a strong low voice, which I enjoy quite a bit.
Grade: A-

Libido: Kuvira has a sort-of complicated libido. I could say that she doesn't have any as she doesn't seem to show it too much (at least as far as I recall). That said, she did have a fiance (his name was Baator Jr.). I say "did" because when he was used as a lure to get her she used that as a target for an attack rather than a hostage situation. This is how he realized that she may not be the nicest person and he calls off the wedding. There's also a bit of implied tension between her and the lead Korra, but I don't think it's sexual at all.
Grade: C

Age: It's unknown how old Kuvira actually is, sadly. I've heard people say that she's in her twenties, which is definitely possible, or in her low thirties. That's pretty good but I would have liked a more accurate age. It would also help to have a difference between her and her love interest, as part of her points could depend on which is older.
Grade: B+

Total Grades: 58
Average score: 6.4
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: Harumph. From the sounds of things you do not think highly of me.

I do like you, but you don't do well. At least as far as the blog goes.

: Don't worry! Topaz seems picky about faces! And perversion!

Perversion is healthy.

*The video screen pops up again, with Aldra shouting once again.*

: KUVIRA!

: Yes, my honor?

: Why have you not taken care of this pest yet?

: I was curious to learn what he had to say about me.

: Don't play to his abilities! He has the ability to make you weaker when he does that!

: WHAT?! Why didn't anyone warn me?

: No matter, I'll just handicap Topaz further. TOPAZ!

Yes?

: I shall ban you from summoning this match. That should be a fair enough for a fair fight.

*Aldra's video feed is cut and the holographic screen disappears.*

: Certainly, and now that the conditions have been made let's begin the battle.

: Oh no! Without your summons what can you do?

Don't worry, I have a plan!

: Let's see how great your plan is when I do THIS!

*Kuvira does a flip and slams her foot on the ground. It cracks, creating a deep hole though Topaz dodges if just barely.*

: Hmmm, you must have weakened me to the point where that was avoidable.

: Don't blame Fissure's poor hit rate on stat-decreasing... (Darn, I'm making video game jokes again that no one will get...)

: No matter. I'll just keep attacking. It's not like you can do much to defeat me...

*She uses the ability again, shaking the ground. Topaz somehow goes missing as he dives behind her. She looks back and forth.*

: You can't hide from me forever...

*Suddenly Kuvira is hit by a snowball from behind. She turns to look and sees Topaz popping his head out of a hole.*

: YOU? How did you manage to create ice?

: Did you summon Boreas while we weren't looking? Because if you did I could go for a snow cone.

It's my mimicry ability!

: I don't care what kind of gimmicky ability you have, explain!

: Seems that Topaz has given himself Esdeath's power over ice, how interesting!

That's exactly what happened.

: Grr, you should have hit me harder when you had the chance then.

*She wipes the snow off her head.*

: You will regret not using that opportunity better.

It's alright. Since you're a ground-type the ice attacks will be super-effective!

: That may be a sound strategy, but it is incorrect...

Huh?

*A large rock slams against Topaz, dealing 30 damage.*

: I am not a Ground-type, I'm more Rock-like!

: Curses, it's like Gigalith!

*Topaz gets up and brushes himself off.*

That's fine, all I have to do is keep the pressure up.

*He shoots a few lances of ice at Kuvira, but she causes a wall to appear from the dirt.*

: Have you figured it out yet?

What out?

: You might have to spell it out for Topaz, he can be dense sometimes!

: Do you know why I wished to fight in the Terrain Arena?

Because the other two were picked first and you got stuck with it?

: Because you picked randomly?

: Ha ha ha, both good, if incorrect, guesses. No, the reason is that this field amplifies my power.

: She's right, just look at all those rock outcroppings that she could use for ammunition!

You mean the same things that might have prizes inside?

: Just because it was Halloween doesn't mean that there's candy inside the rocks, Topaz.

Darn!

: Why don't you check anyway, Topaz?

*Kuvira flings more rocks at Topaz, who narrowly avoids.*

: Go Stone Miss being accurate to its name!

Unlike Accurate Wave!

: Can you stop running around for a few seconds?

*Kuvira melds all the rocks together, creating a gigantic fist. She then aims it downward over Topaz.*

: Any last requests?

Don't kill me?

: Request not obeyed. Good bye.

*She uses her powers to push down on the stone fist. However, Topaz shoots icy dust upward, in a beam-like attack that comes from both his hands. He slowly works ice into the cracks and weak points of the fist, freezing it and causing it to be crushed to dust.*

Looks like you're out of attacks.

: A true warrior always has a back-up. Like THIS!

*Kuvira uses her forearm plates as discs, throwing them at Topaz. He narrowly avoids the buzzing blades.*

: Looks like this battle is really heating up!

Rock AND Steel it seems, I've really got my work cut out for myself...

: Watch out for Ms. Aggron over there!

: I am not aggravated, or whatever the heck you called me!

*Kuvira sends her blades at the sidelines, causing Ririchiyo and Koto to dive for cover. Koto pops up first.*

: HEY! Attacking the audience or especially me is specifically off-limits!

Besides, you don't want to lose track of ME!

: HUH?

*Topaz has snuck up behind Kuvira and punches her square in the stomach. She is thrown back, but stays on her feet inside the Terrain Arena.*

Obviously your weakness is Fighting now!

: Or Ground, but I guess this is easier to access at the moment.

*Kuvira starts to chuckle. Then she runs her hand through her hair from the forehead back and starts laughing maniacally while bringing her head up.*

: I was wrong to underestimate you. Not that a punch like that could ever cause any SERIOUS damage, though. But since you've angered me take THIS!

*She sends her metal blades at Topaz, but misses.*

Looks like you missed!

: Who said I was aiming for you?

*The blades carve up the parameter of the arena. It cracks and starts to collapse inward.*

: A great strategy, destroying the arena. Topaz will still have to be careful to stay inside!

: Wait, why doesn't his opponent?

: Because she has a large portion of the arena bound to her feet.

*The camera closes in and indeed Kuvira's feet look surrounded by the earth of the Arena. On the other hand Topaz has to jump from clump to clump, fighting to not get trapped under the dirt-whirlpool.*

==Meanwhile==

*Aldra gets a call from the lower floors.*

: Aldra-sama, Kuvira's destroying the Terrain Arena.

: WHAT?! I do suppose that she did aid in the creation of this building and that arena, but she is not allowed to destroy it without my permission. First Esdeath and now her, why are my generals trying to destroy the monument to my success?

*Aldra gets up and starts to walk towards three levers. We join Topaz as the dirt has fallen and he seems to be tangled in the machinery of the floor below them. Not only that, but there's a lot of fully-functional machinery in general just stuck in the background for effect.*

Well this is a fine pickle I'm in...

*Kuvira lowers herself down on her chunk of earth. She looks somewhat disheveled, not that the icon shows it. She stops right in front of a large laser and grabs the wiring underneath it.*

: Ufufu, there's no way that you can avoid this all tangled up like that. Now, prepare to be Spirit-Lasered!

*The laser starts to glow with immense power. Topaz struggles but it doesn't help. At the last moment he holds out his palm, then clenches it into a fist. As he does so the giant laser is crushed and bent by ice abilities. The tip is also frozen over, causing it to freeze up literally.*

: W-what? How did you do that?

I still have Esdeath's abilities...

*Topaz then freezes the wires, causing them to shatter and he lands on the dirt pile below. He then looks determined at Kuvira.*

And there's still one that I haven't used... ZA WARUDO!

*The entire battlefield is frozen in time. Topaz looks around.*

Heh, so it actually worked. So this is what time freezing feels like. But I can't be distracted by the strangeness, I've got to do THIS! MUDA MUDA MUDA!

*Topaz punches Kuvira upward, though the punches are certainly not useless. Her body is frozen in place but each punch hits her slightly more upward.*

Now for the finisher! ROOAADD ROLLLERR!

*Topaz finds the heavy vehicle and somehow tosses it at Kuvira. It lands on top of her, knocking her out of the arena-pit. Fortunately she doesn't seem too injured, as Topaz notices as he climbs out of the hole himself. The time stop then ends.*

: Wow, seems like a lot happened in that time stop.

: You know, you should watch that show if you're going to keep referencing it...

WRRRYY-Er, I mean "Why?" Besides, you know my dislike of eye injuries.

: But it has people based on bands, not that they get to keep their actual names sometimes but still. Cute-sounding girls too. And it has a smoking monkey too!

Silly Riri, Orangutans aren't monkeys. Now how long are you going to make that mistake.

: Probably Forever.

: Putting Bizarre Adventures aside, it looks like Topaz won again!

: Hurray!

HUZZAH! Now there's only one battle left!

: NOT SO FAST!

*The road roller floats upward before being compacted into a quarter of the size. It is then thrown to the side.*

: You may have won the match with that obscenely powerful ability, but I will still keep you from continuing!

*Kuvira stands up, holding her side as if injured.*

But you're so injured. There's no way that you can continue to fight.

: I'll still be an obstacle and-GWAAAH!

*Suddenly Kuvira's necklace glows and she becomes crystalized. She tries her best, using chunks of metal to try and chip away but to no avail.*

Oh no, not her too!

: Aldra really does seem possessed by a demon, much like Airi said way back when.

Indeed, but that just means that we have to hurry and defeat her.

: Wait, why?

Because once I do all these people will be saved!

: That's the way these sorts of things go, right? Everyone returns near the end because they were really just being healed by Sylphs or something?

: I don't get that reference, but let's continue upward to the Forge Arena!

Seems like next time will really be heating up with Fasalina's blog!

: I hope not literally...

*The trio continue upward to the Forge Arena.*

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