Vanitas no Karte

Of all the things you can criticize this show for, you certainly can’t fault it for false advertising. You expect vampire yaoi-bait full of pretty boys blushing, pretty boys hand-holding, pretty boys naked, pretty boys with weirdly intimate physical relationships, pretty boys kissing submissive girls, pretty boys LICKING submissive girls, and whatever else it takes to fuel the fires of fujoshi fanfiction, and that’s exactly what you get. Aside from all the heavy breathing, sensual moaning, and sexy blood-sucking, this show is about Vanitas and Noé, two men on a mission to save all vampires. From what? I dunno. How? I dunno. Why? Actually, we ... do kinda learn Noé’s motivation, but other than that, their mission is kept intentionally vague so the story can meander around, not really doing much for all twelve episodes. The show insistently interrupts every serious scene with unfunny comedy or goofy facial expressions, suggesting the show isn’t really meant to be taken all that seriously, but it also has an info-dump or a flashback every episode, suggesting we should actually be taking notes. The presentation is just poorly planned, and the tone is all over the place. One minute Noé is having Vietnam flashbacks about this grotesque face-eating monster, and ten seconds later we’re joking around with clingy oujo-sama waifu again. The action scenes are also pretty lackluster. It’s just a bunch of assholes standing around spouting meaningless attack names, doing some flashy nonsense, and incapacitating the enemy without the show ever attempting to introduce a cohesive magic system or well-defined power scale. I’m gonna be totally honest, there were many times throughout this show where I didn’t really know what someone was talking about. The characters would go somewhere or start some conversation, and only then would I realize I had zoned out and didn’t understand the context behind what was happening. I’m not saying the details weren’t there. I’m just saying the show was too boring to communicate them to me. This is ironic because, in other instances, the show repeats itself way too much. It’s constantly reminding you of its cookie-cutter vampiric lore and completely failing to appreciate its own banality. Yuki Kajiura will be playing this tremendous piece of gothic music while Vanitas is giving this epic speech, the characters are acting like the world is falling down around them, and all I can think is, “I'm sorry, but didn’t he already say that, like, two episodes ago?”

This show made me realize Tomoyuki Itamura only ever seemed like a competent director because he was working under the tutelage of Akiyuki Shinbou and constantly in a state of imitating the Studio Shaft aesthetic which better, more unique directors like Tatsuya Oishi had helped to define, and I’m not happy. I thought it was just a coincidence when the same thing happened with Shin Ōnuma slowly over the course of the last decade and Yuki Yase literally the second he left, but I guess this is the fate of those who leave Shaft: washed-up at a worse studio and with zero style of their own, pumping out nothing but forgettable and painfully boring seasonal shlock. Visually, I can’t really say this show looks better than just alright. The average production quality of modern anime is just so low, it makes this look like something phenomenally impressive when it really isn’t. For Bones, though, I thought it looked quite good. I watched the first episode and thought, “well, there’s no way they’re going to keep up this level of costume detail,” and I was right. However, instead of doing what they usually do and making a wildly inconsistent mess with a few over-animated action scenes to trick people into thinking the rest of the show looks presentable when it really doesn’t, they actually balanced everything out and crafted a much more solid work of animation. Another pleasant surprise from Bones was the outstanding art direction. Usually, the backgrounds are the weakest part of any Bones show, but the art direction in this show is great, especially in the gorgeous opening animation, and it really brings the setting of Paris to life. The last time an anime set in France looked this good was Le Chevalier D’Eon, and that’s cheating because the studio was Production IG and the art director was Hiroshi Ōno. But sadly, these pretty visuals are limited by the lifeless directing. In the first episode, there was this scene of Vanitas and Noé fighting which was storyboarded so that a metal grate would momentarily obscure the shot, and I legitimately felt physically ill for recognizing it. I mean, out of all the Akiyuki Shinbou trademarks Itamura could’ve ripped-off to communicate the fact he has no directorial identity of his own, why choose one of the most famous visual tricks from Shinou’s post-90s legacy at Shaft? I don’t know, it just seemed pathetic to me. Frankly, the whole show is steeped in mediocrity, and while I can’t fault it for anything serious, I doubt I’ll remember it fondly, assuming the smut isn’t all I remember.

Thank you for reading.

Inappropriately placed comic relief that isn't even funny, characters whose entire personality is based upon a few pet traits, and a fast paced beginning that turns out to be sort of episodic later on, there's not much I can say about this show in a positive light.
The beginning does not spark joy. You're given an extremely fast paced pilot episode in which Noe and Vanitas meet and become friends. You could say that this episode is the catalyst for the rest to come. Yet, it's not that great. I really wonder how people can stomach this show when the relationship between Noe and Vanitas is ... forced and shallow. Immediately after the first episode, they just become de-facto partners in crime, yet I just wonder: why was their first meeting so rushed? You might as well have already made them know each other if all you were going to do was slap a fight scene and then have them become friends at a conversational level.
There really isn't much downtime in the first episode. You're thrown right into the chaos, with little buildup. A person is ill, and then they get attacked and then subsequently cured by Vanitas in an extremely short and unrewarding sort of fashion. There was not much suspense, and the problem got resolved quite easily. Ah yes, but Vanitas and Noe become friends! Wow, look at Noe and his "quirky" personality! He's slow witted at certain times, and that's so cute! Haha, pair that with the fiesty and flamboyant Vanitas, and you got the golden duo!
Hell no. The discourse and dialogue that Vanitas and Noe go through is pure cringe and shallow attempts at comedy, especially when they start talking seriously the next frame. Isn't it super funny when a super serious scene gets deflated because Noe or Vanitas does something stupid like kissing a girl? Haha! LMFAO!!!
I mean, I didn't drop it just because of the bad beginning and horrible comedy. You can clearly tell the direction the story is going to: semi episodic events about curing cursed vampires. Why rush the beginning when you don't even have a plot to tell anyways? Beyond that, you got expository info dumps in the form of flash backs no one asked for and you get weak episodic arcs? What's the point? Clearly, the story wants Noe and Vanitas to carry the story, but when you force a relationship between them in episode one without much thought and then make me watch some flash backs about their backstories, I really can't say that I care at all about the show. What, if not the characters, carry the episodic arcs? I cannot say that Vanitas going around with his book and curing vampires with little to no problems is an interesting premise by itself.
I guess art is pretty decent, but fight scenes aren't that great as a lot of things are abstracted away in fights, like how most of the time, it's just Vanitas using that nicely animated, but of course, repeated book animation and bam, there's a blue lightning and they're cured. Backgrounds are nice and realistic, no doubt. But, this sort of art is not going to carry the story. Editing was interesting, but it was just that.

I had high hopes for this anime, and I went in almost entirely blind. Vampires usually aren't my thing, but what little I'd seen of it had me really excited.

It was, in every way, a total disappointment.

It looks pretty enough, of course, and the opening and closing credits are wonderfully done. Sadly, that's where my praise ends. The story is both too quick and yet moves about as fast as molasses. The female characters are a poor excuse for anything more than heterosexual wish-fulfillment to immediately plaster over any type of relationship Vanitas and Noé could've otherwise developed.

I will admit that I came to this ... show expecting a character study (cons of going in almost completely blind), but even the action scenes were disappointing. Past the first episode-and-a-half, I felt little more than general boredom and a wish to get this show over with and done.

If you're looking for a vampire anime, there are better ones out there. The same goes for action-focused anime. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone.

The awkward scene jumps often occurred causing confusion and disagreement throughout the story. I'm not sure if it's a translation error or something related to the story itself. It feels too rushed and things haven't really been explained in any way for the viewer to understand. There is a lack of world construction and at the same time massive information dumps and a backstory that takes me out of the story as I have to go back and look again to understand what just happened.

I also wish a little more time was spent on characterization because I liked the characters, but I found them underdeveloped ... and sometimes confusing.

This show is an enigma. It is a shonen, yet the age rating is 17+, meaning it's intended audience isn't supposed to be watching it.

The story feels quite original, the lore intriguing, and at first I was interested in the mysteries proposed. But it quickly became tedious to watch. Every other minute, there is a comedic moment put in which ruins the mood, ecchi scenes are scattered throughout (where is the ecchi genre tag?) that feel specifically made for young teens, and characters often feel inconsistent. I think it is the perfect show for the audience they were going for, but they didn't edit it ... to secure a PG13 rating. At the same time, I wish they had just designed the show for older viewers in the first place, as I feel I really could've enjoyed this story.

(very minor spoilers here) There is one part of the show that is a little off-putting. There is a female vampire character that the main character blackmails into having a relationship with him. She has a hidden affliction which he shows he can fix, but never does, and instead uses as the blackmail. He later mentions that he doesn't know if he can fix it, but he never actually tries.

The art is not top tier, but it's very consistent, with bright varied colors, and good lighting and backgrounds. They go a bit overboard with the sound, but it's solid overall.

If you like a light-hearted shonen with mysteries, comedy bits throughout, and some ecchi, then this show may be for you. (If you are younger, just don't let your parents catch you watching it during the more risqué scenes.)

When I went into this show my expectations were pretty low, I saw a cute guy with black hair and another with a tan + white hair. Dude I'm in, how can this possibly go wrong!

Well, they found a way...

This show knows it's target audience. Cute guys being unusually close and physical, holding hands, close ups of their eyes and hair fluttering in the wind, kissing submissive women that kindda look like the other male lead, licking submissive women that kindda look like the other male lead????

Anyway the show is aiming directly for the fujoshi's loincloth!

Which is fine, if it stuck to a tone.

I kept ... wondering what was it that annoyed me while watching, clearly every frame was calculated to lead to a fanservice moment, which I don't mind in this context, so why didn't I like it. Then it hit me, because I don't know why it matters so don't really care about the characters. I've watched all 12 episodes, I can't tell you any of the five Ws of basic story telling.

Who, What, Where, When and Why.

Who are our leads? I don't know, their personalities shift and change from frame to frame. Noe "looks" like a born yesterday trope but he only acts that way when the plot requires him to be stupid. Vanitas "looks" like a vampire wannabe + agent of chaos but then goes all emo when plot. It's as if they want to squeeze all the uke/seme tropes possible into their leads least they miss a demographic!

What's happening? I don't know. The show stops from time to time and vomits exposition before saying screw it lets make them act cute for now. This is the tone part, if this was a gag show then the randomness would have made more sense but the exposition dumps and the hints of the "darker" character backstory suggest it's supposed to be a drama... I'm not even sure even after watching the whole thing.

Where is this? The easy answer is France however the show hints at there being this world and an alter world where the vampires live in, except they interact with humans all the time at very random parts so which is it?

When is this happening? The clothes suggest the Victorian era but the steampunk flying contraptions suggest an alternative timeline, this would have been fine if there was any, and I do mean ANYTHING, else different about this timeline. They couldn't even be bothered to research the time period and just pepper in some notable things making the alternative timeline sound like an excuse to be lazy.

Why is this happening & why should I care? I don't know. There is an exposition dump about the moon but it's very unclear why this is an issue or why the curse would turn vampires into werewolves (yes, really). Why vampires are forbidden from drinking human blood is obvious but... how are they feeding off eachother?

Summery

I don't know if the flaw is in the writing or directing but this show is pretty bad. It looks nice, the entire budget went into making it look nice but it lacks both a plot and it's own sense of style. The world building is none existent to where "vampires" walk around during the day and sleep at night (making the whole moon thing redundant) they can have kids that age but the older generation never seems to, they drink each others blood for food which just seems nonsensical, they crave blood but it's more of a background noise that's easy to ignore. It makes it seem like the author doesn't understand this world and instead is just going for the rule of cool and shoving cute scenes on the screen as often as possible to keep your interest.

The story and world building had a lot of potential but the pacing is very slow. I don’t mind a slow show, but I couldn’t get past the dubious and nonconsensual characteristics of the show. I feel like it’s explained away that the MC doesn’t understand love, which is fine — but you shouldn’t need to understand love to understand consent. I feel like the women characters only exist to fulfill the role of the love interest. Sometimes I can ignore this in a show, especially if it seems a character will develop later on, but I just couldn’t with this show. An entire relationship ... based on manipulation and domineering tactics and presented as love is not something I can really stomach.

It's not interesting if you watch it without knowing it, it's even worse if you know it. I can't say anything other than that this director should never touch a work by Mochizuki Jun again in his life.

The studio, the professionals involved, the promising staff; all this was a formula for success. The first trailer is great and the expectations were good from the start. It's a pity that Yuki Kajiura and her amazing OSTs are put in the middle of this mess; the openings and endings are also extremely good. Art is decent at best, not what you would expect from a team with ... such great names.

When a director doesn't like what they're doing, the viewer feels it; and that's clearly the case with the Vanitas no Carte anime. All he managed to embody in his work was "hehe hot women moaning" and occasional yaoibait, but only in promo images. I wish I was joking. Yes, Vanitas no Carte is a story about vampires, and these stories are inherently sensual, but not in such ridiculous way. Comedy is incredibly unfunny, so don't bother watching just for the sake of it.

This isn't a case of "silly anime that shouldn't be taken seriously", on the contrary, the story is full of information (when it's not focusing on the kawaii desu waifubait biting scenes). But the information is so poorly compressed that you, in addition to not understanding anything, feel nothing for what is being exposed.

The voice direction is disgusting to the point I thought the voice actors were being held hostage in many moments with their absolutely souless performances. And that considering that Vanitas no Carte was given famous names, and many of my favorites, I managed to hate the performance of all of them. It's not the voice actors' fault, it's the voice direction.

The characters are shallow, as important scenes from the manga were absolutely chopped out. It is no exaggeration to say that many of them are erased in the anime. It's impossible to get attached to any of these guys, who are they? I watched many of my favorite scenes with a neutral face, and I've never been picky about adaptations. That's how bad this shit is.

If you were interested in the story proposal, please put this horrible anime out of your mind and just read the manga.

Idk. I just wanted to review this. Pandora Hearts was the first manga I ever read, and when I heard the news Jun Mochizuki was making another series, little me was going crazy!!!! I was so hype for the Vanitas manga! It was a pleasant read, and I've been there since debut and since Volume 13 released! Of course it wasn't flawless. HELL NO. But enjoyable? Yeah pretty much! The thing is. The anime just sucks. I seriously do not know how people could stomach it past like Episode 5. Where do I even begin? First episode, I was really excited. The animation at times ... was really good! The voice acting is amazing, the attention to detail in the environment is so wonderful! I'd also like to mention the ost and stuff. Like the intro? I streamed that on repeat. LOVED IT!!! Ending song is pretty good too. I really enjoy the orchestra kinda ost they got going on too! But... Nah. NAH. Bones tried their best to capture Jumo's work and the manga really well. For that I applaud them. But they need to stop. Some scenes are just really damn ugly with how much Bones exaggerates the animation. Like yeah, in one scene you'll have a gorgeous side profile, the next you'll have some straight up Bungo Stray Dogs nightmare mouth official art. The awkwardness silence when they're drinking blood and everything is just so... I know it's meant to be erotic. BUT THE EROTICNESS IS JUST PLAIN UNCOMFORTABLE. HOW DO YOU MESS UP THE SEXUAL SCENES!!?!!? Honestly, the anime feels like an insult of an adaption in contrast to the manga. Yeah. This is more like a rant than a review, but I'm just not a fan and never will be. Just read the manga.

Dropped it after episode 1 the first time because it was super boring and gave too much of a BL vibe. Picked it up again after many recomendations... Wish I didn't. You've probably heard a lot about how good the story is, how funny it was and how well animated it is... Well, pretty much none of it is true.

The story is boring to the point it was hard for me to stay awake through most episodes. The characters are uninteresting both in terms of design and actual personality. The only redeeming quality of this anime is the music. Luckily it didn't turn out to ... be another BL trash though I was getting those vibes till the very end. Probably because of the art style.

So yeah. I do not reccomend to anyone that isn't a girl or a sissy.

This anime is nothing more than vampire FAN FICTION and just like most stereotypical fan fiction, it is VERY BAD. I do NOT recommend watching this. 3/10


----------------- PROS -----------------
• The premise of this story is somewhat unique. Sure, there are several other vampire anime, but it's not a very common genre compared to superheroes, romance, or slice of life.

• The action scenes are also pretty decent. It's usually fun and pretty creative, and they come regularly in almost every episode.

• The world is somewhat interesting. Steampunk Paris with Vampires and an Alternate History Storyline. The writing uses a lot of fancy words ... which is... fine.

• A lot SEEMS to happen very quickly and the show jumps from beat to beat with fast pacing.

----------------- CONS -----------------
• I say "seems" because NOTHING actually happens across this anime. The characters will say that things are happening and there might be some action occurring on screen, but nothing relevant or significant to the plot is taking place.

• The world is not compelling enough to keep us interested while the characters literally do NOTHING but talk (even during action scenes). And our main character KEEPS INTRODUCING HIMSELF OVER AND OVER.

• And of course he does! Because this series CONSTANTLY introduces brand new characters each episode (sometimes multiple) who have absolutely nothing to contribute to the story or make the conflict more interesting. Our protagonists just dilly-dally from location to location, meeting new people, "saving the day" and then go home and get their blood sucked or whatever.

• Characters have no clear motivation. The story has no clear destination. There is nothing at stake. "I want to save all the vampires." Okay, cool, but why should I care about that quest?

• I hate the villain's voice, it's so goddamn annoying.

----------------- What I Wish This Anime Was -----------------
• One aspect that I personally wanted more from was the romance, surprisingly enough. I know my opening line criticizes Vanitas no Karte for being "fan fiction" but honestly, if the creator(s) want to go down that route, then they should go ALL IN rather than trying to do everything (drama, action, mystery, romance, etc.)

• The interactions between Vantias and Jeanne were actually compelling, albeit barely fleshed out. Not to mention, Noé's unspoken jealousy and homoerotic longing for Vantias from the sidelines. Between the four or five recurring characters, there was plenty of room for a full-blown soap opera to take place, while still having some of the action and mystery included.


Overall, this anime is simply not worth watching. I will check out season 2 because of its rating on MAL, but I'm not looking forward to it.