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Jun 28, 2010 6:21 PM
#1
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Jan 2010
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We're all partial to one or two absolute shit theories which won't go anywhere. What are your favourites? I'm quite fond of Gohda being the mastermind for Turn myself. You know the one, you've all read the copypasta. It involves Gohda being a badass, pushing people out of windows.
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Jun 30, 2010 2:23 AM
#2

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Oct 2008
209
Teatrice theory is God tier.
Jul 1, 2010 12:10 PM
#3

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but that's just silly, I know
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Jul 1, 2010 6:14 PM
#4

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Feb 2009
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dioptase said:
Teatrice theory is God tier.


Don't you mean

Jul 5, 2010 5:10 PM
#5

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Oct 2009
2123
Kaiserpingvin said:


but that's just silly, I know
silly anime watcher
Jul 10, 2010 12:16 PM
#6

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Aug 2006
115
I haven't seen copypastas except for BOMBtrice, which I find pretty awesome. Care to link me up?

Jul 12, 2010 5:50 AM
#7

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Oct 2008
209
Velcor said:
I haven't seen copypastas except for BOMBtrice, which I find pretty awesome. Care to link me up?




Jul 12, 2010 2:18 PM
#8

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Aug 2006
115
dayum.

Jul 12, 2010 3:07 PM
#9
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Dec 2007
156
the pony theory
Jul 13, 2010 3:25 PM

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Feb 2009
1394
Battler = Amakusa
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Jul 14, 2010 1:44 AM

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Jun 2007
86
Trollkastel said:
Battler = Amakusa

THIS.

anyway, it's not a derp theory, but I HATE HATE HATE SHKANON
Jul 14, 2010 2:27 AM

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Oct 2008
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Nettachan said:

anyway, it's not a derp theory, but I HATE HATE HATE SHKANON


You're not alone. Fortunately, it's not the full answer. I still support Kyrietrice.
Jul 17, 2010 6:54 AM

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sweetbunny34 said:
Kaiserpingvin said:


but that's just silly, I know
silly anime watcher
wat

You insult and confuse me. Maybe not in that order.
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Jul 18, 2010 12:31 PM
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Jan 2010
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I dislike Shkanon too, but we can't deny that the hints are there. Although I think it would be a total cop-out if Ryu actually went down that route.
Jul 18, 2010 1:44 PM

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Sep 2007
2551
shkanon is truth. Not sure why people are so opposed to it, though.
Jul 20, 2010 10:26 PM

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May 2010
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naikou said:
shkanon is truth. Not sure why people are so opposed to it, though.


Having resisted Shkanon up until EP6, I can certainly understand why people are opposed to it. It poses a big problem for shipping (George, Jessica, and Battler can't all get a happy ending, oh no!) and it can feel like a cheap trick - certainly it's a twist no orthodox mystery would pull. With as much as it was hinted at in EP1-4 though, I can't feel that it's an unfair plot development. I just hope Ryukishi manages to pull out a satisfying romantic resolution from this mess.
Jul 21, 2010 9:54 PM
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Sep 2007
83
I kinda like the 'Genius Battler' theory. With this, he deliberately put himself into a logic error, hoping a miracle would occur for Beato to recover her memories and save his ass.

Jul 22, 2010 10:33 AM

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May 2007
132
The only problem i have with the Shkanon theory is that it's a joke, just think about it:

Kanon: " Oi Genji have you seen my boobs? I can't find them! I have a date with George at 3:00!!!"
Genji: " Sorry i haven't seen them.... but i have your peni- oh wait"

I mean, if there wasn't the love triangle(?) going on among them, then i would take it more seriously. You know, a case of double personality with him/her trying to fool everyone.
But with the love stories, it becomes funny. Imagine a person running for the island changing sex every 5 minutes, and, on top of that, not making a single mistake.
Jul 22, 2010 11:35 AM

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Jun 2007
1150
Concerning Shkannon, most people seem to be so against it because it seems hell obvious now.

But I read another theory that actually both Kanon and Shannon used to dress up as Beatrice. Kanon's Beato was the Big Sis/Suit-Beato/cruel witch performing the murders, whereas Shannon's was obviously the Moetrice/Battler-loving Beato. This basically means that meta-Beatrice is the one that's a combination between the Shannon and Kanon one, while both of them are actually two individual human beings. Not sure how this helps anything, though...

(Oh btw, can't Shannon wear most of Kanon's outfit under her dress and use those huge socks of his as boobs? 8D)
Sii_KeiJul 22, 2010 12:04 PM
Jul 22, 2010 4:27 PM

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Sep 2007
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Confuzudu said:
Concerning Shkannon, most people seem to be so against it because it seems hell obvious now.
That's one of the most important rules of mystery, though. Everything must seem obvious once you know the answer!
Jul 24, 2013 1:58 AM

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Nov 2011
32
I still don't like the Shkanon theory. Personally, I find the Rosatrice theory making much more sense, both in terms of the events in the VN, as well as from Ryukishi07's public statements from interviews and such. I will admit, however, that the Shkanon theory is more refined and has a more beautiful "heart" to Umineko. But I believe the Rosatrice theory can reach that level as well with several modifications.
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It’s time to ditch the text file.
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