I went in expecting an action series SO epic that it blows your balls off and shoves them up your ass! I expected the love child of Hellsing Ultimate, Fist of the North Star, and Berserk with maybe some Shigurui and Violence Jack thrown in for good measure! The anime with SO much testosterone that Woody Allen could watch it and go into a Norse Berserker rampage, repeatedly bashing his head against a wall just to calm down!
What did I get? A very average shonen that looks pretty but is horribly written. At least RebelPanda tried to warn me about this. I just didn't listen. He's now made me a sad panda too!
So, what is Demon Slayer about? They certainly don't slay any demons. That's just a shitty translation into English. In Japanese the enemies are called Oni, but they're actually vampires. They're undead, fanged humans with vampire powers that can transform other humans by biting them and are immortal unless exposed to sunlight or decapitated with a holy weapon. They're fucking vampires! I'm going to call them that for the rest of this review.
The story starts off as shonen as possible. The main character is named Tanjiro and he's a young coal miner/charcoal merchant from a small, mountain village. At least he's a country bumkin, so he's not in middle school! One day, an old man randomly warns him that vampires exist! Later that night, his family are slaughtered by vampires. The old man wasn't a vampire BTW, that was pure coincidence because this show is horribly written. However, Tanjiro's adorable little sister Nezuko has survived and turned into a vampire! A vampire hunter immediately shows up to kill Nezuko, but Tanjiro fights against him and desperately tries to save her. While all other vampires immediately turn evil, Nezuko is able to avoid killing her brother and retains her goodness because the power of love. The vampire hunter is very impressed by the strong bond between these siblings, so he spares Nezuko and sends Tanjiro off to train under an incredibly generic kung fu master and become a vampire hunter.
As you would expect, Pai Mei is a hard bastard and puts Tanjiro through the wringer. He trains for a year and gains superhuman strength, speed, and techniques because this is a shonen. Now it's time for the vampire hunter test! The final exam involves surviving for days against hordes of high-level vampires. The test is so EXTREME and BADASS, that only 2 people have survived it in the last 50 years! The vampire hunter test has killed over 100 potential vampire hunters and thus has actually produced more vampires than hunters. Now that's what I call efficiency! Tanjiro survives of course because he's the main character and that gives him the power of plot armor!
Let's stop the plot summary and talk about world building. Something that Demon Slayer forgot to do. I mentioned this in my review of Shiki, but vampires are fucking bullshit! In most vampire fiction, they're immortal and it takes 50 villagers with luck on their side to take down a vampire. The vampires can turn other people into vampires and increase their population exponentially, but somehow there aren't that many vampires and normal people don't believe in them. There's an amazing scene in the Witcher novels in which the comic relief bard talks to a vampire about how they reproduce. The vampire replies, "Of course we can't bite other people and turn them into vampires! Do you comprehend basic math? Let's assume a founding population of just 1,000 vampires that came into existence 500 years ago. Each vampire attacks remote villages and kills only 1 peasant per month. Just 20 percent of those bitten turn into vampires. At the end of the first year, there are just under 2400 vampires assuming a couple fucked up and got killed. At the end of year 5 there are 79,000 vampires. After 500 years, do you really think that vampires would be so rare that you've never seen one?!"
The only way for humans to stand a prayer against vampires would be to design a highly effective weapon that's mass produced to the point that everyone has one and can use it. How about a crossbow that shoots blessed silver bolts? In Demon Slayer, the only thing stopping vampires is the guild of vampire hunters, who designed a test so EXTREME that there are 10-15 vampire hunters at any one time and that's being very generous. In order for the vampires to not overrun Japan, Tanjiro must be putting up INSANE kill numbers. We're talking Soviet state executioner Vasily Blokhin numbers. 7,000 vampires a week! His life is eating, shitting, and killing vampires on an assembly line! In season 2, we're going to be introduced to 3 vampire hunters that by themselves have somehow been running Vampire Treblinka in the middle of Tokyo! Jesus, that rant got dark. I apologize for that highly offensive joke, but I just hate this show so much!
Next, we're introduced to some annoying side characters that add nothing and piss me off. We do get some cool fight scenes though and Tanjiro carries Nezuko around in a basket as an homage to the 1982 B-movie Basket Case. I just wish it had referenced the Toxic Avenger instead. I'm more of Toxie guy!
The art and animation is the only reason this show got a 5 and not a 3 or 4. Demon Slayer followed the My Hero Academia formula to make shonen great again. Rule #1 No filler #2 Fuck character development. Just have non-stop action! #3 SAKUGA!!! MOAR SAKUGA!!!!
The music was a huge letdown for me. An action scene for me lives or dies by its music. If you want to have non-stop ass kicking, you better have a pulse pounding, AMAZING OST. Demon Slayer got the composer of Idol Master and 1/10th of the Tekken 5 OST. What's wrong with you Ufotable?! You're based out of Japan! You could have hired Michiru Yamane, the goddess who wrote all the awesome Castlevania music over her 30 year career at Konami! She made a whole career out of orgasmic, badass music about beating the fuck out of vampires! Even I would probably give this series a 7 if Yamane had been given the OST. Instead, I'm left having to deliver the sad report that the climactic battle scene from Season 2 of Netflix Castlevania was better than any single scene in Demon Slayer. Yes, the Netflix Americanime with that obnoxious Indian director who said he comes from the future. That show is better than Demon Slayer! Because Bloody Tears!
So in conclusion, if you enjoyed Vampire Slayer...that's cool with me! It just wasn't my cup of tea, but I'm glad other people had fun with it. Those guys on Kitsu sure are overly generous though! If they loved Demon Slayer so much, I can't wait to read the praise they wrote about my favorite anime!
(Browses Kitsu) Let's see here...series rank 1,983rd. The top rated review by a longshot simply reads: "u might enjoy this if u re a stupid, horny 12 y/o. LOL!"
(channels George Costanza rage) " You know we're living IN A SOCIETY! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO ACT IN A CIVILIZED WAY!"
I think this is the last time I ever browse Kitsu.
