I began watching this show somewhat ironically with my friend. More specifically, i began watching this show with my friend to appease this weird insatiable almost gluttonous need to consume as much entertainment as i can.
Its been about two years since i began to try take anime seriously. If you look at my track record, it has hardly been a positive one. Yet i try my best to give everything a fair shot. And for that i got pitiful attempts at entertainment with Fate/Zero, solid, yet flawed attempts at storytelling with Fullmetal alchemist:Brotherhood, and truly fascinating studies of editing and framing with Mononoke.
So what have I dug myself into? Nine episodes in and watching a sexual pan of an animated twelve year old's comically red ass. Is this just a phase? Fuck. I don't know.
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Art: 10
Starting off my review with what I think carries this show. I can't tell if the director is good or bad, all I know is that almost every frame is visually pleasing in some way or another. This show is flat-out gorgeous.
And I will get into the story, and how that's written. But lets talk about this director first. I don't know his name, but I feel like i know his ideas. His take on this show is self-indulgence to its core. Every frame, cut, and pan is indulgent. Its gluttonous. Its horrific. Its sexual. Its gross. Its slimy. I feel dirty. But I want to.
He treats every piece of horrifically self-aware fanservice as if its his Mona Lisa. And in a way, this completely overboard self-indulgence is what makes this show better than every other shitty anime. And in a way, it makes it worse. Somehow the feeling that the director knows exactly what he's doing is unnerving.
"Why would he POSSIBLY want to highlight the fact that this twelve year old has pink panties on?!" That's the wrong question though. A more reasonable one would be, "Why does he treat his own self-awareness with such... seriousness?" Does the fact that he's not so much as winking at the camera as he is spelling it out in front of you in growing neon colors?
I don't know.
What i do know is that the framing is great. The blocking shots are pretty. The art-style is unique. The crazy missing frames are hilariously ironic and flat-out nonsense, since I believe it has since been a completed product? But that's the show. That's quite literally the whole show. It has blatant use of weird blender-esq CG, but he even found a way to make THAT artsy! The colors are so vibrant and contrasting. The locations are so empty yet captivating.
The whole show can be described by its art. A non-conformist structure in the shroud of cliche. That i do know. I can't help but be enthralled in his complete and utter self-indulgent, comical, and truly fun directing.
I remember my thoughts after i finished the first episode. "I think the artstyle is interesting but i'm not convinced. Every art style needs to be grounded with a theme that relates to the show!"
Oh what a naive little fuck i was. The theme is nothing. Its indulgence. Its over exaggerated everything. Its color. Its lighting. Its books. Its kanbaru's bubble butt. Its every panning shot over Sengoku's swimsuit. Its every sleazy shot of Hanekawa's tits.
Don't even get me started on the character design. Never has an anime been THIS unique with its design whilst staying in the realm of realism. The wide-angle shots of characters with disturbing fish-eye lenses are captivating. Every character is so well done (rendered?). I get more attached to their look than their personality. But more on that later.
Never has a show captivated me more... whilst simultaneously making me self-aware that my state of captivatedness (Not a word) is disgusting.
I don't know...
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Story: 6
The only logical step here is with the story. The writer(s) tell a very direct story in a very indirect way.
The writing, like the directing, is complete and utter nonsense. Reading into every handful of dialogue scenes per episode would be the death of you i promise. If you do read into it, you'll find that any idea of theming, development, or even progression is nonexistent. There is none. You are instead left in an endless loop of nothing being told as if its something.
And that's the show at its very essence. Its redundant in the most glorious way. The dialogue is simultaneously worthless... but worthwhile. Its a dichotomy of character development with no development. A frozen state until the necessary final episode of each given arc is resolved with some sickeningly heartwarming monologue from Ararararagi-kun (I stuttered) about how much he "loves" X character.
Whether its his sisters or his multiple harem-style lovers... he loves em all. Why? Cause he's a good guy!
And that's why i can't speak so highly of the story here. It works. But that's it. Everything is laid out for the characters to play around with... and more on the characters later.
The simple storytelling structure is covered in a blanket of nonsense character dialogue that simultaneously carry the show and make it even more uselessly self-indulgent than it already is. And that's not even the most interesting part.
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Sound: 5
You may be thinking to yourself, "Wow, so he just left off his last sentence with that sexy little cliffhanger. So he must be picking it up with this next subject. Is SOUND the most interesting part of Bakemonogatari?"
No. Just like this show, i choose to pick up exactly where you don't want me to and start on a completely different tangent before looping back around and continuing my main points.
In this tangent, i'll be ranting about sound. Or... i don't know. Something like sound.
Every anime has this stupid god damn habit of outlining every "comedy" scene with a light-soundtrack that sounds like a free sample off of youtube's royalty free music distributer. Simply put. Its fucking unbearably lame.
This show does that. And it was starting to really get on my nerves too since this show has the habit of really pumping the music up there next to the dialogue. So the repetitive loops of awful royalty-free harping is never more blatant than it is in this show.
If it weren't for the original intros backing every single arc in this show, i would have given the sound a flat-out negative review.While these original scores aren't really "my thing" for the most part, their still a nice, albeit (mostly) eyerollingly self-aware anime intros. Everything from happy-go-lucky girls skipping around flaunting their well-tidied school uniform to abstract visuals signifying the artists knack for adobe aftereffects. You have it all in a nice little cliche bun.
It may be self aware... but like most of this show, the writer(s) have the cake, eat it, shit it out, and eat it again.
Also, i will note that the riffs do get a little better towards the end of the season.
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Character: 5
Now... lets get into the subject of the show's characters. The thing that single handedly almost drove me mad. The characters. At first i wanted to split this ridiculously complicated subject matter that i honest-to-god spent hours thinking about into three neat categories for whoever is actually reading this far to easily understand.
Instead, i'll be rambling on in an incoherent mess of words and pretentious sentences that make it seem like i know what i'm talking about. Trust me, i don't know. This is a big ol' parody of a romantic comedy after all.
Lets begin by asking ourselves, "what IS a good character?" Is it a three-dimensional being with realistic thoughts, emotions, and reactions? Or is it simply something that is memorable?
Now i'll say that these two things aren't mutually exclusive. There are MANY beautifully written and memorable characters in television. However, for this show, I was having a ridiculously hard time putting my thumb on what makes these characters so...I don't know.
Its the simple fact that they're memorable, I guess. I was skimming through some reviews on this website and i saw one that said that these were some of the most complex characters EVER. I felt like i was watching a different show!
I don't think they are complicated at all. In fact, they are quite literally the definition of flat-out cliche-driven anime characters. The tsundere, the shy loli, the busty smart one, the dumb tomboy, etc. These anime cliches are so common that whenever one of these kinds of characters pop up i want to take a cheese grater to the testicles.
I can't stand them. I honest to god can't stand these characters. Anime has a lot of issues that i find it hard to look past, but these kinds of "trying so hard to be cute and instead miserably failing, making me cringe SO hard" characters.
And if that wasn't enough, we have such a fucking bland protagonist. These poor girls fall in love with this complete and utter blank-slate self-insert piece of fucknugget like Araragi?!?! His defining trait is that he's "a good guy", that's it. What kind of greasy neckbeard virgin would actually believe this bullshit?
I know i sound salty. And i am, cause these terrible characters plague television shows, specifically anime.
This show has awful, generic, horrible, unbearable, self-aware have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too characters and i just want to eat an ashtray.
So...why the fuck can't i stop thinking about them?
Am i gaining my virginity back? Has my body become pure again? Has the cheeto dust reformed over my fingers and my fedora has found its way back on my head? Am i a nice guy now? Will my katana protect every tsundere loli i can find?
Why the fuck can't i stop thinking about these characters? What about them has infected my mind at night. So much so that instead of counting sheeps i count different ways Ararararagi can sexually assault his sisters... AGAIN. All jokes aside, this is a huge deal.
What makes THESE characters so memorable. Why is senjougahara so memorable over any other self-aware tsundere?
Why is Kanbaru so memorable? Or Tsubasa Hanekawa? Or Shinobu? Or Hachikuji? Or Arararararararararararagi? Well... maybe not so much Aarararagi... although his character has a significant positive personality shift in Nisemonogatari, so i'll count him in there.
So i've found a few simple explanations. One being something i've touched on already. The designs are amazing. I've never seen anime characters have this much... face. It sounds weird, but i have no other way to put it.
While i always used to say that anime characters all look the same, and in some ways, they still do to me. I'd like to think i've grown enough to distinguish the different art-styles studios have. Whether its studio Gainax and its thick outlines with characters folding their arms. Or A-1 Pictures and their general cancer. I think i've developed enough of an eye for characters in anime, even if all of them do have similar ideas behind them. Such as big eyes, small nose, etc.
All that being said, Shaft has outdone themselves. I've never seen this much actual animation in an anime television series, let alone the absolutely gorgeous detail they have on characters. Every character has what i have come to call a "Beauty shot", where the director brings the metaphorical camera lens right up in their face. Intricate shading, lighting, and fish-eye is applied and you get what is a distinct character.
The fact that these characters actually have lips is a sight to behold. And what magnificent fucking lips, man! Never before have lips been this well done in animation. They're gorgeous. As i said, even at the shows most fanservice-y, where the entire concept of the scene is "wow, boobs and ass boobs and assboobsassbobbsadk;ad", the director takes that concept and tries his best to make it as pretty as possible.
Not pretty in the "oh look, animated boobs and butt", but pretty from a directing standpoint. In one of the shows lowest most incest-y moments (this is past these fifteen episodes by the way so i'll avoid every spoiler here), there is a toothbrush and moaning. The director found a way to make that awful, awkward scene pretty.
So the animation is gorgeous. The characters have details. They have beautifully done lips, noses, ears, etc. These are things that i find make a character more personable. These features which aren't usually highlighted in anime i find are helpful in giving characters identity.
But even in the none-closeups, there is still identity to be had. And that's mostly in the movement.
As i said above, this is the single most impressive looking anime television show from the animation standpoint. I feel like the studio and the animators had a blast animating this show. Every frame is dripping with effort. I felt like i didn't see nearly as many "filler" still imagery as i do in any other anime television show.
I think that's whats so great and what helps establish these characters. I've never seen these god awful cliche's actually get effort put into them from a visual standpoint.
How does a tsundere walk? How does she talk? How does a shy loli who badly wants the main characters meat thermometer behave herself? Does she just blush and show her ass? Or are there little hand gestures in there? The way her irises dash from right to left. How her legs move back and forth. The expression on her face.
How a godawful twister scene can turn into a somewhat interesting study of expanding character through animation.
This memorable quality can be said about almost every character in the show. And while animation and the character it gives is probably the biggest reason, we also have the general atmosphere in the show.
Its empty. I honestly can't think of a single time we've ever actually seen a crowd. Every scene is desolate. Its either in an abandoned building or in some beautiful, yet empty, park.
This emptiness helps the viewer draw focus on the character. There is no "other" character you want to be focusing on. Since every character embodies a cliche there's no comparing them either. Both these aspects create for an empty world where your one focus are these characters.
So perhaps that matched with the animations creates the most memorable characters i've ever seen in an anime. Its nothing but sheer confusion when an anime transcends simply cute character designs to flat out cute characters. Or flat out sexy characters even. Its the attention to detail in a barren world with the backbone of spectacular animation.
So... why the 5/10? Because i still don't know! Are they good characters from a writing standpoint? No. They absolutely are NOT. But fuck are they memorable.
And that's my internal struggle. Maybe i'll come back to this review in a year or two when i've finished the show and its future movies and regrade it. Hell, i might even do that soon when i catch up. But at the current point, i actually have no idea what say about the characters other than their the most memorable aspect of the show.
And this is in a show that has one of the coolest art styles in animation. The art style is flawless. The characters aren't. Yet a scratch on a diamond is somehow the most visible aspect. Or maybe the scratch is ignored. I don't know.
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CONCLUSION:
Apart from my undying love of television, i love music. Specifically, I adore hip-hop. What started as casual listening blossomed into a full blown fascination with lyrics, wordplay, mastery of the english language, etc. Its something that i can honestly never get enough of.
However, that kind of lyrical rap music is what I love. I love going back to a song and catching new pieces of wordplay. I love the idea that the artist i'm listening to has a complete mastery of the english language and bends words at his will. That's the kind of rap i love.
That's the kind of television I love.
In Hip-Hop, especially in the modern day, there are so many different kinds of subgenres. There's Acid rap, pop rap, gangsta rap, southern rap, Bounce... i can go on. In this ocean of subgenres there's one specific one that i have a complete distaste to. Maybe cause its becoming so big, but i just can't stand it.
Its called "trap rap", trap music. If you are reading this and don't know what trap rap is, i'll describe it for you. Its qualities (now adays) are usually bombastic beats with ominous, hazy, gritty production. The rapping is usually sidelined for catchy hooks and tone. So my favorite part about rap, the rapping, is usually a complete afterthought. Its simply there to bang.
The rapping usually consists of multiple cliches like Guns, violence, shooting, sex, drugs, cars, etc. Its known for being very empty and shallow. But it sounds good to some so they love it.
So i have this major bias to this kind of subgenre already. Even if i have listened to a LOT of trap rap.
BUT. Every so often there's a trap song that just captures my attention. Mind you, its not because the rapping itself is spectacular and full of intricacies like i like it... no. Its just something about it that really gets me going. Something i love. Whether its the production, aggressiveness, i honestly don't know! But i add it to my spotify and play it for the better half of a month.
Simply put, its a guilty pleasure. As stupid as it sounds, i take a lot of pride into what i listen to, what i watch, what i play. Its a character trait (flaw?). So i don't really want to be seen listening to some stupid trap song. But, nevertheless, i do listen to it cause this one song every so often sounds fucking awesome.
That's Bakemonogatari. There's just something about it. I don't know what score to give it. Should i try being objective about these characters and assume that their memorability is a flaw of my own perception of characters? Or should I rate it as subjectively as i can, since every character is so god damn memorable and every frame is so god damn pretty. Maybe when I do end up rewatching the show in a few years i'll hate it. I'll realize that this love comes from perpetual loneliness or the need to see something greater in pure exercises of style over substance. If my career of becoming a director ever does pan out and i look back at this review it'll be some foolish bullshit. A pretentious kid rambling about what he wants to see to convince himself that he's seeing anything in the first place. But in my current state, i have to believe that there's a reason for my infatuation.
I can write more than i just have about it and still i wouldn't even be halfway there in explaining myself because someone who is prideful can never explain something without making it sound like their being defensive. We say we aren't being defensive but we are.
We get embarrassed. We don't want to get judged, especially after the countless hours we spent convincing people and ourselves that trap music sucks we still hide under the covers and love the fuck out of some of it.
That's me. Its undoubtedly me. Its something i can't stand about myself. But there it is. There's something about that song. There's something about this one specific harem-esq. anime filled with cliches and generic character tropes.
The most defensive way I can put it while still maintaining honesty is that Bakemonogatari is the guiltiest possible pleasure. Its exploitative, gross, sleazy, sexist, beautiful, fascinating, memorable, and confusing.
Its the guiltiest possible pleasure.
Or it isn't, what do I know? Maybe everything, maybe nothing.
I don't know everything, I just know what I know.
