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UtotKa Nov 27, 2023 11:51 AM
I haven't really looked through your stacks as I still have my plant to watch but I will check them when I'm out of anime to watch. As for the character, I know they're from an anime but I don't specifically know what anime it is, I just searched for random memes and what made the most interesting one for me my profile pic.
UtotKa Nov 26, 2023 7:01 PM
Oh, I guess I explained it a bit wrong, I mean I follow those who have the same taste (specifically when we have the same favorites) or those with a lot of interest stacks, I followed you for the latter reason. As for me giving So Ra No Wo To! a 7, honestly I can't remember most of it, just bits and pieces, I watched it like three years ago and just guessed what score I will give it. Thanks for your recommendations, appreciate it.
UtotKa Nov 26, 2023 2:32 PM
I like going through my friends' friends list, not to be creepy but I'm looking for people who have the same taste as me and have a lot of interest stacks in case I want recs. Enjoy the ride or more like you need to prepare some tissues, Clannad is good but you should look forward to Clannad: After Story.
Wupr Jun 25, 2023 8:01 AM
Hello! Looking over the past letters that I haven’t responded to and the new ones that have come through…yeah, it’s gonna be a monstrous task of Herculean proportions if I wanna go about responding to all of it lol. So, I’ve decided that if I spend at least an hour everyday from now on writing something that responds to bits and pieces of what you say throughout your letters that I’ll eventually catch up…maybe. Yeah, that’s never gonna happen as long as you keep writing lol. But I guess it doesn’t really matter, it’s not really necessary to reply to it all as long as I’ve read it I think. I’ll only talk about what evokes the most thoughts. I should also timestamp everything so you know where it’s from, but I don’t know how to do that through BBCode and I don’t feel like searching up so we’re gonna have to do it like this for now lmao:

On June 21st,
Well I did read some Umineko but most of the day I couldn't feel like reading it. i was busy being dead while watching youtube shorts and stuff. What calmed me down was listening to a bit of To Pimp a Butterfly while I was going to sleep. Lol. Ended on U, which is like... not a song you should really end on but I felt like sleeping so yeah. Hm, yeah, it's the song that like makes me feel... hm, how do I say this, like it's the "most important" song in the album for me. Not in the sense that it defines the whole album, just that it's like... hits me in the feels the most, though it's thanks to the fact that it's the song I can understand the most in the album, lol. But yeah, it feels like a warning for me. Like... what am I gonna do in the future? Feel suicidal for doing nothing? Feel like I've wasted my time feeling empty? Not improving a single thing? XD. But hey, to live is to live.


I get what you mean. I mean, sitting here and thinking about it now…it’s just…yeah. I’ve never heard a jazz song with such a dark atmosphere. It all starts with that screaming in the hotel
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”
And then we hear these screeching synthesizers overlay it towards the end that almost sound like crickets chirping in the night, and gives the scream this sort of echo effect that really makes it feel that Kendrick is not just the only person in this room but goes further to suggest that he is the only thing in this room. It’s just him and his thoughts, everything else is empty. These crickets fade out as somber piano notes interlude into the introduction of the saxophone, both of them power up in sound and volume as we hear the second scream, this time giving a sense of a powerful darkness soon to overcome. More elements are introduced like the chiming sounds that almost sounds like a xylophone as the third scream ruptures the transitioning melody of the saxophone and then we hear one of my favorite parts of the song (instrumentally speaking): that minor guitar chord. If you isolate that sound and essentially strip it of its context, it sounds just like any basic guitar riff. However, placed within the dark, moody atmosphere that’s set up by everything else, it brings another source of tension into frame. It amps everything up, giving life to the dying piano and contrasting beautifully with all the depressive buildup. Oh my god, I’m starting to tear up and I’m just talking about the first 20 seconds of the song LMAO…but yeah, u is without a doubt one of my favorites on the album too. Probably one of my favorite Kendrick songs in general, and definitely the one that I consider to be his bravest. This song is a real try not to cry challenge lmfao. Musically, lyrically, and even the way he changes his vocal delivery from a pained expression of guilt and sorrow in the first half into just a complete tearful breakdown in the second half as the alcohol starts to kick in and he starts giving into his despair. It’s all so heart-rending that now I feel justified by always getting so angry whenever I see people reduce all of rap to “vulgar lyrics” and “repetitive trap beats”. I mean, even the songs they’re thinking of when they say such things are probably much more creative than they will ever realize. For example, I don’t like Playboi Carti’s music. I think it’s way too much style over substance. However, I can recognize that he’s one of the most monumental influences in the hip hop sound right now and the way he’s pushing cloud rap and trap beats to their creative limits is honestly mind-blowing. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for people like Lil Pump. His music is just garbage, and I really hope that’s not the image that people who hate rap have of it lol.

Here’s an example of Carti’s music, where he literally adds shaking jewelry as an instrument:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwdsnGfrd-k
It’s probably everything you hate about modern music, being about sex, drugs, and whatever the hell “rockstar shit” means. But at the same time, holy shit man the vibe of this song is unmatched. I’ve never heard anything like this before, and I love it when mainstream artists take big risks like this. You can tell that Carti actually cares about making music that he thinks sounds good, even if I don’t think it does lmao. But yeah, even something as overplayed and overdone as trap still has a lot of room for innovation. Just look at Metro Boomin’s discography, for example…:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThRbi74tkLw

What am I even talking about now? Lol, I lost track. Ah yeah, people who misjudge rap. Well, I don’t think they’re very common in the US anymore, now that rap has arguably taken rock’s place as the most popular genre of music. I’m glad that people like Kendrick Lamar and Kanye West are mainstream, but at the same time when people like Drake co-occupy that space…my opinion on Drake is kinda iffy lol. There’s a lot of underground artists that I’d love to talk about too but that’s enough rap talk for now I suppose. How’d I go from talking about something so beautiful and moving, Kendrick Lamar’s u, to Drake? Lmao

Anyways, back to the subject at hand. Yeah, I can see why this song hits so hard for you. It’s sad to say this, but it’s definitely relatable.

So if it's also about me leaving, I'll pretty much say that I did that because I didn't believe in my own impact. I didn't believe that I could help you guys, that's why I left. Like that's it. If you were feeling guilty about that, don't, it's my own decision. That's the conclusion I came into. "Based on the experiences I've had before, and based on how I've been acting, I truly don't believe that I could help out my friends", that was my thought process. That's it, you shouldn't feel guilty if that's what you were feeling. If the others blame you for it then show them this as proof. Like... my mindset was, "If I have to go back, I need to have a positive mindset and help encourage them", but I didn't get a positive mindset, let alone have that encouragement factor, like... yeah... f. Huge f. Huge failure on my part. Like what the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I help my friends out who are suffering? Why am I still being negative? Why after all those positive things I said, like wanting to make a song for the sake of telling my friends that they could do it, they could help themselves, they could get out of their fucked up situations, or at the very least make the best out of it, like... even after experiencing those emotions, and even crying, heck... even I'm crying right now, fuck, but... even when I've expressed the need for doing that... why the fuck haven't I come back? ... ... ... ... ... Hm... why am I still here? Why am I not checking up on them? Am I even a friend? Do I even consider them as friends? Do I really care about them? ... ... ... ... ... ... Hm... hm... Based on my actions... based on how I decided to just focus on anime and visual novels, based on how I don't care about going back to discord anymore, based on how I forgot about them, based on how I never even tried to make such an amazing song... based on how I gave up... based on how I focused more on how I can't do anything, based on how I've been feeling empty... hm... this is not something I want to admit, but I'm a loser who doesn't care... ... ... ... ... Hm... oh, and also need to sleep around this time btw, f. But yeah, I need to stop being a loser. Like... the fuck am I doing? Hm.


I regret not being there to help you. Looking back at it, I should’ve checked in on you and have been more encouraging. I was asking some of the same questions you’re asking now a couple months ago lol. Like whether I consider or care about you. Am I so heartless that I blame someone for a failure that seemed almost inevitable? Well, the history involving you isn’t really what’s been on my mind, but it’s definitely an example of a blemish in my behavior that’s crafted me into the mess that I am today. But lifting yourself out from abject circumstances through sheer willpower seems so unfair to expect of someone. We were upset by the fact that you flaked out on us in order to improve on yourself but ended up not doing much of anything towards making progress, and so it was a group decision to ask whether you wanted to stay a part of the server. But honestly, I think that was fucked up. My intention wasn’t to pressure you to leave, and I’m sure you understood that, but why hadn’t I been more supportive? I think a little bit of support goes a long way. I didn’t even try. That says a lot about me as a person, doesn’t it? I have a lot of growing to do. And like you’ve been saying, fuck the me that thinks that this is who I am as a person, because it has no bearing on whether I’ll continue staying this way. I’ve come to a decision. I am someone who cares deeply about my friends. But, I have to be selective about who I can regard as a friend. They are people that truly care about me, and people that I care about in return.

Yesterday I was talking to someone, but it wasn’t a conversation. It was more so just them ranting about many different stupid things about how sensitive people have become and feminism and all that. People who are so sensitive to sensitive people are the true bitches in this society lmao. I mean really, if these people aren’t bothering you, why do you have an issue with them? It seems like you’re just being an instigator and flaring up conflict where it doesn’t belong because you have nothing better to do with your negativity. Well, I wish I could’ve said something along these lines, but he clearly wasn’t having it. Every time I tried to talk he kept talking over me. It wasn’t a conversation or debate so much as it was a one-sided rant. So frustrating. I don’t think of people like that as my friends. I don’t want to be used as a brainlessly nodding yes-man just because I’m at times shy to interject and I prioritize maintaining a polite discourse. I think true friends are like the people we had on the server. I’ve never been in such a close friend group before, and it’s a shame to see it go and dissipate into this amorphous remnant of what had been something truly special. We still talk to each other. I think we still all see each other as friends. But it’s tough to think about it all. I think I’m still blamed for what happened, and while I don’t think I was wrong to have done what I did, I definitely went about it the wrong way. I reacted emotionally instead of logically, and that was my major pitfall. I assumed that my emotions would be understood. Everything I said still seems clear to me, but it’s whatever. It’s all in the past, and I’ve moved on from it.

From now on, here’s to becoming a better friend and a better person.

Like the reason why I keep on not feeling confident about giving advice is that I'm not exactly sure why you're feeling such emotions. Like from what I can think of, like does it have a matter to do with the server being deleted? Or... ah, I just realized this, but does it have something to do with kinda being unable to keep up with my letters? Is it because I left the server that you felt some sort of responsibility? Like these are some of the few things I can think of for the reasons of your emotions. But I also think of the possibility that these are just slightly related, and that there are more matters that have popped up that had a much more major impact.


It’s a lot more existential than that. There’s a lot of people in my life that I’ve failed and continue to fail, there’s a lot of people in my life that have failed me and continue to fail. Reading about your thoughts on your dad reminded me that I feel the same way towards my parents. It’s a mutual failure, but I can’t help but think that it rests more on the fault of the parent than on the child. Whether that’s a matter of me just thinking in a way that’s more convenient and advantageous for me is irrelevant because it’s something that I find is deeply rooted in strong logic. For most of my life, I’ve felt like a lost child. My parents hardly guided me through anything. They encouraged me to learn English over their native language of Bangla and now I’ve grown up to become someone who can hardly speak the language of my own parents. I mean, this is an incredibly common occurrence in the vast majority of immigrant households I’ve seen, but it’s not right. How can we move on and pretend that this is normal? And how can my parents gaslight me into thinking that I was the only child like this when I was a kid? They chastised me for being only able to speak English yet that’s the way I’ve been taught. They’re completely unsupportive in my efforts to learn Bangla, yet it’s something I’m expected to just know. It makes me so mad just thinking about it. My parents are people who claim to love and support me yet it feels so fake at the same time. How can you shamelessly put so much random pressure on your own child and act dumbfounded and stupefied when they can’t handle it? Or, how can you shamelessly suggest setting up an arranged marriage with some girl I don’t know in Bangladesh WHEN I’VE EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE NO INTENTION TO GET MARRIED? Why don’t they even try to understand me? I feel like those edgelords right now, “no one understands me” lol. But I don’t know. I’ve only recently come to terms with how lonely I am. How lonely I’ve always been. I feel trapped in my own mind. I don’t trust anyone. Does someone like me deserve to have friends? The cycle of pain perpetuates itself. I totally get why people in worse situations think the solution is to just become emotionally numb and detached.

Anyways, that’s enough of my stupid venting. I respect that you responded so earnestly. I’m thinking about why what you said made me feel so emotional, and I’ve come to the realization that you’re one of the few people to have ever taken my emotions so seriously. I was used to being ignored so the second that I started getting attention within the past year I think I became a bit of an addict. Talking about my emotions now only feels like an extension of that. It feels like whining about my issues is a pitiful way of prolonging that ray of attention. It’s why I’ve started to restrain myself from using venting chat.

I’m running out of energy to talk, and it’s been way past an hour lol. See ya.
Wupr Jun 23, 2023 6:27 AM
Hey Sylicone. It’s been a while since I last wrote a letter, a couple weeks or so. I think these past few weeks have been some of the lowest for me. Well, my emotions always go in cycles and I assume it’s the same for everyone else, but I don’t remember ever feeling this melancholic and defeated for so long ever before. Am I feeling better? I’m not quite sure. I’ve come to a certain few realizations. My ego is a lot more fragile than I thought it was. I have a lot less willpower than I believed I was capable of. And, finally, I’m kind of a pathetic person. Not so much that I feel meaningless, it’s more like I’ve been feeling that my being here has somehow come to the detriment of everyone and everything else. Well, this last one I know is just an irrational thought. But I don’t know. Everything that once felt certain and near feels so fleeting and far away now. That’s enough about me though.

Your journey through To Pimp A Butterfly made me really happy! I was first exposed to Kendrick Lamar in middle school through his album DAMN. and I was captivated by his ability to express so many complex themes in his lyrics while having some of the best flows, wordplay, and overall amazing sonic quality. It almost feels as if DAMN. has a song for every mood, and it’s one of those albums that’s helped me grow a lot as a person in so many areas of my life. It’s helped me become more in tune with my emotions, it’s helped me become a better thinker, and honestly I think it’s helped me become a better storyteller myself. Around that time I was also listening to good kid, m.A.A.d city but it wouldn’t be until a couple years later that I sat down and took the time to listen through the whole album. And GODDAMN. I thought DAMN. was the best album I heard but good kid immediately became a strong competitor. All of Kendrick’s work is conceptual in nature (i.e., revolving around a strong, central idea or a string of concepts that are structured and linked in an intentional way), but good kid has a stronger focus on telling stories from Kendrick’s past and sending a very clear message: that Kendrick is Compton’s human sacrifice. I’ll leave it to you to explore the album on your own and find out what that means if you ever wish to do that.

Now, the day I discovered To Pimp A Butterfly...the day I discovered this album was another reckoning of its own. TPAB is a lot more similar to good kid than it is to DAMN., which makes sense since it comes right after good kid in his discography and right before DAMN., and now that I think about it I actually listened to DAMN. the year that it came out. Wow, that’s interesting lol. Anyhow, I think you understand what I mean when I say that TPAB is straight up some of the densest and most meaningful work of all time. I think it’s Kendrick’s greatest work, and the word “masterpiece” falls short in every way as a descriptor for it. So, it's finally time to look more closely into your responses…

Hello, been a while since I've made a letter. Tbh, last time when I tried to respond your last letter, it didn't go great. Like I was just not feeling great or something. Then days passed by and I pretty much forgot about it, up until now. Lol. So yeah, time to respond.


Yeah, I don’t feel like it’s proper to respond if you don’t feel like you’re in the right place mentally to do it. And for me, that’s now!...eh, as close as I’ll get to being ready for it lol. I want to write this letter over the course of one session so that I’ll be able to send something to make up for the whole overextended absence. I mean, I kinda disappeared on you lol. Sorry about that.
Ohhhh, yeah, when characters appear in different series it definitely makes you happy.


CLAMP’s oeuvre is infamous for having characters from their previous works making sudden appearances in their manga lol. You know something is CLAMP almost instantly because of their iconic artstyle, but these crossovers really do go above and beyond in making it feel like everything they make exists in its own universe separate from the entire world of manga. And seeing characters from Cardcaptor Sakura and Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle appear in xxxHOLiC was definitely a fun experience. I’m sure that many other authors do crossovers like this, but I think that the vast majority do it in a lot more subtle ways. Another example I can think of concerning crossovers is how Makoto Shinkai occasionally reintroduces old characters in his new work. I’m not sure why I thought of that after mentioning subtle references, because his crossovers aren’t really subtle at all lol.

So regarding the segment of your rap post, I'll just say... :RikkaWow:. Afterall, that's what I typed the first time when I read it. Like... :RikkaWow:. XD. Like that's pretty much all that's needed for me to express what I thought about it. Just like... wow... lol. I will have to admit however, that when I tried listening to Kendrick Lamar's songs, I daze out, I don't understand anything, the things being said are just too different from what I understand, which unfortunately makes me not care. Well, I did watch one video on his album titled "To Pimp a Butterfly" and wow... amazing. But yeah, when it comes to actually listening to it, I can't really understand. So yeah, that's one of the reasons why I felt demoralized in responding to your letter. I just couldn't understand what was being said. Even if I had lyrics on it's just way too different. Hm. Which makes me wonder, if I try to listen again, will I understand? Lol, ofc not but I'll give it a try anyways. If it makes it demoralizeed again, so be it, who cares, life is different for everybody.

Alright, time to listen. And yep, just listening without lyrics, I don't really understand. "Every ***** is a..." what? A sign? Question mark? So... yeah, time for lyrics then. Oh, yep, star. Yeah, I can hear it as a star now. That's the power of lyrics. Sheesh, sucks that I need to pull up lyrics but alas. Ah right, in the video talking about this album, this first song is about how the music industry is basically a girlfriend. hence the "But now I just wanna fuck lte nights thinkin' of you until I get my nut". Yeah, I'll never understand this if it weren't for someone talking about it.


Ah, that’s perfectly fine. You’re already starting at a better place than most people by admitting this lol. In truth, it takes many listens for me until I feel like I truly understand an album, and I have to listen to it in different ways depending on how much I care about dissecting it. For [i]TPAB[i/], all of Kendrick’s albums, and any album I think is amazing in general: my first listen is always without the lyrics. It’s always with the intention of getting a feel for the songs and the album musically and gathering the first impressions based on the bits and pieces I get from throughout the project. Also, going through something by an artist I like is always (well, I should say “usually” since sometimes their work can disappoint lol) a fun experience and I’m not so serious of a person that I sit down and analyze everything before moving on. Basically, the main purpose of the first listen is to just have fun lol. My second listen is with the lyrics in front of me, and there’s no rules for it or anything. If there’s a bar or a line that struck me enough to look more into it then I do further research. My main focus here is to just generally get a better idea of what’s being said. The rest of my listens from then on are either for fun if I enjoy how the album sounds or for deeper analysis. I’m excited to start doing the music blog to get a deeper relationship with this stuff, honestly I might start as soon as tomorrow!

Oh, I do want to say that I liked your approach of trying to understand the general meaning of a song before moving on. It’s just not something that I feel works for me lol. I wouldn’t be able to contain the desire to listen to the next song XD


There we go.
Huh, would have need to learn about Wesley Snipes...? Hm.
Ah, need lyrics to put up, yabe.
6:39 into the video and woah...

And finished the video and... wow... yeah... sheesh. I'll listen to more.


Wesley’s Theory is one hell of a song. That beautiful fusion of funk and jazz serves as the perfect backdrop for the start of this album, where Kendrick goes on to continue weaving pretty much every single genre of music associated with Black culture into one magnificent tapestry. And I’m sure you already understand why he took this approach for the beats lol. To be honest with you, I think this song goes strongly underappreciated and overlooked by the community. It’s far from the best song on the album I think, but that’s only because this album is so replete with amazing songs that I’d say it likely suffers from the subconscious (or very conscious) comparison to the rest of it in the minds of hip hop heads. Well, whatever reason it is, I still think this is one of my favorite intros to an album.

I can’t express enough just how happy and grateful it makes me feel knowing that you went through listening to this album with actual sincerity. I’m still in shock lmao.


Now onto the 2nd song, For Free?.
And finished the video and... wow... yep, gotta learn more. Lol.


Hm, I should probably go through the playlist myself and add my own thoughts to these songs, but that would definitely make this way too long lol. I guess for now I should focus primarily on responding to the first letter and tomorrow I’ll respond to the next and so on.


And back after finishing the 4th episode for Institutionalized. Damn... tbh, I was actually getting tired of hearing the explanations but damn, this is just... wow... bringing his friend to the awards but he's used to the hood and when he sees the money and jewelries around, he just wants to steal them and stuff. Damn... yeah... I'll continue listening onto the 5th episode for These Walls.
Oh wait, is this that song, oh no.
"That sentence so important" Woahhhh, ahhh, the many double meanings, ahhhh. Sentence as in the previous line and also sentence as in prison sentence. Ahhhh. Sheesh, these walls mean a lot of things. Could be a genital, could be a brain, could be the prison walls, damn.
"So when you play this song, rewind the first verse"... no... Fuck...
Yeah... damn...
Now time for episode 5, for U.
Yep, this is gonna be... damn…


All wonderful and powerful songs, though I find it almost impossible for me personally to relisten to These Walls lol. It’s a great song, but it’s one of the weaker ones for me because of the fact that I don’t enjoy relistening to it. But yeah, not every song has to have infinite replayability or anything of course. I think it definitely accomplished what it wanted to do quite effectively.

Now u on the other hand…yeah, I’m at a loss for words to describe it. This is the most vulnerable song in Kendrick’s entire discography. It’s incredibly moving, perhaps one of the best examples I can think of that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that music is an art and that just like any artform, it’s a means of expression. The somber overtones at the beginning, the way the song completely switch ups, the way the sound bounces between your ears during the transition, and so much more. A masterpiece of a song. The pinnacle of musical expression.


Oh, this is the part which you analyzed in your letter XD. Well I'll focus on the explanation first. Lol. But yeah, damn, didn't expect the optimistic feel.
And finished the episode and wow... sheesh. Well, actually, I didn't really understand it tbh, but basically about how even with all the bad things he's done, and the lack of providing solutions to the problems he swore to stop, he's still gonna persist and find those answers rather than break that promise. Sheesh. Now time for the 7th episode, For Sale?.
And finished it and wow. All about Lucy tempting him. But that last showed line of the poem.


Yeah lol. Completely different feel from the last song. It’s almost as if he wants us to move on and forget about everything he expressed in the previous song for a little bit, like when your friend shares something depressing about themselves and brings up a wildly different topic to help the conversation move on. At the same time, the sobering reflection of u is in a way the perfect primer to the bombastic glory anthem that is Alright. And thematically, we notice Kendrick beating himself down over being a failure of a leader in one song and then taking up the mantle again and trying to be a better leader in the next. We see here a perfect example of why I think that TPAB is kind of naive at certain points. The optimism is vibrant and dazzling, and uplifts me whenever I hear it without fail, but this is the point in the album where it really starts feeling like Kendrick is trying to take the role of a savior. He wants to help the Black community lift themselves up with this album. To realize the brutal impact of history and to explore the internal issues that exist within the community. However, as we see in his reflections through his latest work Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers, there is no such thing as a savior. And if there is, it’s not Kendrick. No matter how much he tries, it’s impossible to save the world on your own. Kendrick is ultimately just one piece of the puzzle, and his music, no matter how powerful, meaningful, and motivational it is, is only one step in the right direction.

Changing the world takes a mountain of effort on everyone’s part, and it seems like all artists that try to impart something life-changing with their music like Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole comes to the inevitable realization that they have to prioritize healing themselves over healing the world. In Section. 80, Kendrick takes a look around his world and identifies everything that’s wrong. In good kid, m.A.A.d city, he goes through his past and identifies how all of the evil around him has impacted him as a person and expresses his desire to save his friends from this hell. He also makes a lot of promises in this album. However, in u we find out that he failed one of his promises in good kid, he failed to be there for his people when they most needed it. In To Pimp A Butterfly he shifts his focus onto the Black community and the US as a whole and tries to use his platform to spread a message that makes people think and start working towards solutions. And to an extent, he was successful. Alright became the anthem of the Black Lives Matter movement, and songs like The Blacker The Berry continue to haunt the minds of everyone who heard it. However, in DAMN., he makes another important realization: humans are even more fucked up and lost than he had anticipated. He explores this in an immaculate dissertation of an album that delves into what he personally identifies and the most defining feelings, emotions, and moods in his life and draws distinctive contrasts between these expressions to themselves and the world around him. Funnily enough, DAMN. is the only album of his to receive a Pulitzer Prize even though the popular consensus is that good kid and TPAB are fundamentally deeper albums. But I understand why the Pulitzer committee gave the award to DAMN., it’s a heart-rending project for sure. Finally, his most recent album Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers is essentially him telling us that he’s moved on from his goal of saving the world and that his most important motivation in life at the current moment is saving himself and his family. Well, obviously everything is a lot more complex and nuanced than what I’m suggesting, but the only way to really get through the whole message is listening to it on your own and forming your own thoughts lol. Honestly I’m not even sure whether anything I say about music or media in general is the author’s actual intention, but that’s beautiful in its own way. This is just the meaning I got generally from his albums. Wow, that was a huge tangent lmao. I apologize for rambling.

I think I’ve had enough talk about Kendrick for now lol. Glad to see you going through Katawa Shoujo, and the other visual novels you mentioned seem interesting. I’ve never watched Demi-chan wa Kataritai, so definitely gotta look into that too.

Also, gl to you. No idea how you've been these days tbh, considering that the last time we both typed was like 2 weeks ago so... lol. Anyways, bye.


Thanks. To put it short as I said before, I’ve been kinda awful lol. But things are looking a little bit better at least. See ya tomorrow
Wupr Jun 3, 2023 10:45 AM
Wupr Jun 2, 2023 8:56 AM
Wupr Jun 1, 2023 12:15 PM
Wupr May 16, 2023 7:42 PM
(This is in response to today's posts)

True! I get why people love K-On!, but it just ain't for me. I've been wanting to watch Hidamari Sketch too since I'm a Shaft fanboy. I don't know if you knew Monogatari and HIdamari Sketch were animated by the same studio, but that would probably explain the weird stylistic decisions lol. Nice to see that you're enjoying it!
Wupr May 16, 2023 7:34 PM
Wupr May 15, 2023 7:39 AM
I read it online, like I do with every other manga >:D
Wupr May 4, 2023 7:29 PM

Wupr Apr 30, 2023 7:26 PM
Good question! For me, Welcome to the NHK was a somber reflection of what being a complete outcast is like. That drive to improve marred by strong, oft irrational fears of failure, judgment, discomfort, and reality in general. I love media that are able to depict the lives of NEETs this convincingly, and are able to demonstrate such high conviction in portraying deep and intimate ideas about loneliness and social connection while not being outwardly preachy or "cringe". Now obviously there's a lot of cringe to be found in the show, but that's because it's a necessary condition of the subject-matter it seeks to cover. Satou is a person with an incredibly unstable mental state and struggles a lot with social connection and understanding people, and we see that drawn out in his interactions with the people he meets in various settings/scenarios. Like with the class he entered, the people he met at the island, the pyramid scheme he fell for, and even his conversations with his friend (I forgot his name lol) and Misaki. Cringe is a natural factor in his life. However, what I mean is that the show isn't being cringy at all in the message that it presents. Welcome to the NHK is one of the few anime I've given a rewatch and I felt like it totally deserved it. There's a select body of works that I feel have truly inspired my life in a positive direction, and this is one of them. So yeah, I like it a lot :) Thanks for asking!

Hmm, if you asked me a year ago when I was carefully constructing my favorites I would've given a very detailed and thought out answer to your favorites question. However, I unfortunately at this point have ceased to give much attention in updating my favorites to reflect my present favorites and to be honest I haven't been giving anime/manga enough room in my headspace to give a great answer. In fact, if you told me right now to list out all my favorites I probably wouldn't be able to do it lol. So let's take a look and come back to see what I have to say!

Oh wow, forgot I added Bocchi there lol. I think I replaced Thorfinn for her. Yeah, I really fell in love with Bocchi the Rock and felt like the main character perfectly emulated a lot of the same fear I have when it comes to just talking with other people and being confident in your skill. Don't get me wrong though, Thorfinn is still one of my favorite protagonists. I think his character arc is just so utterly well-written, and people who rank Askeladd above him simply aren't acquainted with the Farmland Saga arc yet lol. Anoher character that I would add to my favorites if I had enough space would be Kurapika. I'm a huge Hunter x Hunter fan, and despite ranking Pouf in my top 10 characters I actually prefer the Yorknew arc to Chimera Ant. Kurapika shined like a brilliant star there, and there's just so much to say when it comes to how exciting his revenge plot is and the profundity of his sheer hatred towards the spiders. Great stuff!

Let's see...in terms of manga, you know there's a ton of manga that I think are way too overlooked and I could write for hours about that. So it's probably a topic we should save for another day lol. Oh, that reminds me, I saw you read the manga we talked about on the same day we talked about it! I was pleasantly surprised by that lol. I'm glad to see that you enjoyed it :)

Well, I think I've answered enough here. If anything of note comes to mind I'll add on later! Have a good day x2

Wupr Apr 30, 2023 7:05 PM
Hey Sylicone, really has been a while lol. This is stuff I wrote earlier in response to some of the stuff you said. Sorry for how slow it's been, I'll be responding to the latest comment right after this since it's nice and short! lol

Anyways, currently typing in Notion, on my phone. Would like to do it on laptop because my typing speed is way faster there. Oh, and I checked my typing speed through a typing speed test and got a 74 words per minute. :D. Not that that’s fast or anything. I’ve heard of classmates boasting about having 115 wpm so like… wow.


74 words per minute is definitely not a bad typing speed at all, in fact I’d say it’s pretty fast compared to the general public. If I recall correctly, the average typing speed is around 40-50 wpm, so you’re technically on the faster side. But of course, when it comes to internet addicts like us, our typing speeds tend to be wayyy higher. I just did a test on monkeytype.com to confirm and I got 100 wpm lmao. I got a raw score of 110 wpm but the website factors in accuracy adjustments and consistency. Honestly that’s way higher than I expected, I think before I usually typed at like 80-90 wpm. I’ve improved, growth! Still not yet quite at the level of your classmates though…

And back… turns out I lost a lot of progress… :sighs:… What a huge pain… I was having a lot of fun typing and it all just disappears like that


Rest in peace, lost progress. We will never know the exact words we wrote to each other in our lost progress. That’s quite sad to think about, but also in a way it doesn’t really matter since we, or at least I, get over it after a couple days. Sometimes whenever I’m stressing about something small I try to bring in some perspective to the issue and think about how insignificant it’d be within the span of even just the next few days. We live long lives but at the same time they’re too short to be spent worrying too much about the small things. But of course, it’s only natural to feel some grief over something lost. Today, I'm in the mood to rant about some philosophical stuff for some reason, lol. There’s always the cliche stuff about stopping to think about the gigantic scale of the universe and putting into frame just how puny we are in the grand scheme of things, but thoughts like these never cease to inspire wonder and ignite an almost infantile sense of curiosity within our hearts. Knowing that there isn’t an end in sight to how much there is of the universe and even just our own planet to explore, it’s really cool to think about. Some people might interpret that negatively and be discouraged by the idea of pursuing something with no clear end in sight, but according to another cliche that I’m sure you’re also quite familiar with, the journey is what actually matters in the end. Let me split this into two paragraphs so it’s easier to read lol.

I’m reminded of the Pokemon tournament I entered and won $20 from. I think back to that experience quite often, but the funny thing is that the reward itself didn’t even matter that much. I used it up pretty quickly. Yet, the experience still stands. Even if I had won the $1000 tournament I entered, I think I’d still value the experience of it all much more than the prize money. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think experience always triumphs the direct reward in terms of importance. Let’s say hypothetically that I really needed that $1000 for something really specific, like I desperately needed it to pay the bills. Now, if that were the case I don’t think I’d spend my time trying to get it through playing Pokemon, but just bear with the hypothetical for a bit XD. Obviously, the reward would hold immediate benefit and a high level of impact in my life. The money would be extremely important. However, I think I’d still come out saying that the experience of working to earn that money and being able to pay off the debt is what I’d feel more attached to than the feeling of “oh I don’t have to worry anymore now that I’m debt-free”. Maybe I could be wrong about this, idk I’m just going on a rant lmao. Relatively speaking I’m in a position of privilege that grants me the luxury to think about such things rather than live through them, but I’d like to accumulate more challenging experiences in my life. I think that’s ultimately what gives me a sense of purpose, that idea of growth and change. I want to keep seeing how I develop as a person. I want to keep exposing myself to new and crazy things. So, the first step in doing that is by taking more risks and putting myself out there. That’s something I’ve been trying to do. For example, I started volunteering at a place nearby recently and it’s been a ton of fun! I’ve never had to stand for 2 hours while packing onions in bags, but it’s surely an experience that’ll stick with me. And I look forward to what’s to come in the future! Next on my list, I’m thinking about signing up for more arts and culture type events. Like maybe I should take advantage of living in the city more and go out to watch an opera or a concert some time soon. I’m bubbling up with so many ideas rn lol. Ahh, ranting too much, but this is fun. I should let my mind run loose more often!

So, I watched Owari no Seraph because I saw a clip of it in an anime compilation. It’s called ANIME MEMES from Space. Try Not to Laugh Challenge. Around the 8 minute mark. The dandere/kuudere there piqued my interest. … Repeating thoughts… lost media… :sighs:. This sucks. Anyways, so I watched the anime by finding where the clip of the anime is from with the help of trace.moe.


Hmm, I’ve never heard of trace.moe before. It’s been a few days since I wrote that sentence, and since then I’ve used it to track down a couple anime that I was unsure about. Useful stuff!

And that was because I checked my clubs and had an invitation for the Oshi no Ko official fan club and I found that manga to be unique, and I scored it a 10


Oh, nice! I’m also a fan of the Oshi no Ko manga, and I’m excited to start watching the anime whenever I actually get around to doing it lol. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but you might be since this has become a widely known fact by now, but the author of Oshi no Ko also wrote Kaguya-sama: Love is War. My hot take of the day is: Oshi no Ko is just a superior manga. While I find the characters of Kaguya to be generally a lot more enchanting, I was more engrossed with what Oshi no Ko had to offer in terms of plot substance and also its manifold explorations into various parts of the entertainment industry. Wow, it feels like I’m writing some kind of academic essay now XD.

This is only part one of more to come! Be on the lookout, next message will be coming soon!
Serafos Jan 13, 2023 8:02 AM
Very nice favorites! :)
It’s time to ditch the text file.
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