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Cross-Ange... Oh boy. Horny Gundam. 7/10Cross-Ange... Oh boy. Horny Gundam. 7/10.

So I imagine the production committee meeting went something like this.
Sunrise: We want something new that'll be a hit with the young adult males!
Mitsuo: I got just the thing! It’ll be like Gundam, but they fight dragons and the mechs are like motor bikes.
Sunrise: That sounds great!
Mitsuo: And the mechs are all piloted by horny lesbians, and the dragons are actually hot girls so they want to fuck.
Sunrise: Wait, what? NO!

But by the time sunrise had found Mitsuo at the water cooler later that day he had already found a director and Cross ... Ange was out of pre-production.
Cross-Ange feels like it was being written as it aired live on Japanese television. Like holy fucking shit balls.

This show couldn't decide whether it wanted to introduce characters or kill them off. So logically it chooses the best option. It would Introduce characters and kill them in the same episode. This approach is very concise and I like it quite much since I get to see characters die and dieing is cool, but ange is pretty so she never dies expect when she almost does which is scary and I don’t like that but then tusk saves her and I feel really happy because if I was tusk I would save ange because shes pretty.

This is what your brain does while watching this show. At the beginning of every episode you’re sober, and when something stupid happens you think “what the fuck?”

Then 30 seconds later the characters say some incomprehensible stupid fucking bullshit, and before you can even make a critical observat an ass, I like ass, oh theres 2 asses now, the lesbians are jerking each other off! ooooh god! I just busted. What was I thinking about again?

On and on this goes down and down digging itself into deeper and deeper plot holes, but don’t worry this isn’t the writers first rodeo. Every plot hole is equipped with its own ladder which the writers use to climb out of when they get bored of whatever clusterfuck they’ve contrived.

Ahhh I don’t know oppressed lesbians fighting dragons is kinda lame now.

What if the dragons where also hot lesbians?

That sounds amazing, and what if they were actually ideologically aligned with the oppressed lesbians?

OH OH OH AND THEN THEY PLAY BASEBALL!

DUDE! Wouldn’t it be cool if there was an interdimensional 4chan moderator whose dick is so big he can fuck the free will out of the lesbians?

Narrative perfection.

It’s like gundam except I can bust. The worst part of this show is the lack of porn. How does this only have like 15 doujins on Nhentai, the fuck are those Nihongos smoking. Anyways.

Memes aside this show is like watching a train crash, and then watching it again in reverse. There are so many decisions that are flabbergasting in there stupidity, and 10 seconds later there’s an ass in my face and the music swells as half naked lesbians are ripped apart by dragons, in the same episode theres a soap opera subplot which climaxes with lesbian tribbing.

Even the art is just fucked. The character designs are incredible, but the characters are forced to stand in front of backgrounds with the color design of a lovecraftian nightmare. Wild.

I was going to give this a 5. Not because it was bad. But because it wasn’t bad enough. I just seemed like it couldn’t commit. This show at one point un-kills major characters. It kills them, one guy suicide bombs himself. IN THE SAME EPISODE HE SHOWS BACK UP.

When the other characters are like “hey aren’t you dead?”

He’s like “No. I’m invincible.”

And it’s never brought up again… he’s just invincible now I guess.

But then the final episode happens and all the incompressible bullshit that the show has told you suddenly comes together in the final climax.

It doesn’t actually make sense. But the show said that was the way it works so I guess this mech can travel through space and time now. Suddenly these lesbians are singing as they battle since the director liked macross I guess. None of it made sense but man I was hyped as fuck.

I think everyone missed the point of this show. I think this could be appreciated as an exercise in sadism. Right up until the climax the only reason characters were given any hope it was so that hope could be crushed. As soon as a new character showed up I was stoked since I knew in 5 minutes I would get to see them be brutally murdered. Then all the lesbians would start crying over the death of this girl they didn’t know and I busted.
7/10 Horny Gundam.

This movie was amazing and definitely worth the wait for western audiences.

The whole cast is back and the story continues where it left off but this time around the pacing is a lot tighter and the emotional highs and lows are more powerful.

The way they wrapped up the lingering plot threads of the show was also nice and in a sense necessary to allow this to continue as a cult hit into the future.
As it stands with the movie ending the way it did this story could be called complete. I imagine the source material is ongoing but if this show were to ... never see another adaptation, this movie is a good endpoint. That's pretty good considering most shows like this don't resolve in a satisfactory way.

The last time I felt like this after an anime was Kokoro Connect so if you liked that show this movie is definitely for you.

As far as negatives go I can really only think of one and that would be the use of CGI crowd shots in certain scenes. The detailed character designs make the CGI even jankier than usual. apart from that the Budget and Talent were definitely adequate for this project.

I would not only recommend the movie but would also recommend a newbie watching the show just so they could experience this cathartic heartthrob to its fullest.