Report Nox---'s Profile

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Anime Stats
Days: 155.0
Mean Score: 6.97
  • Total Entries515
  • Rewatched0
  • Episodes9,262
Anime History Last Anime Updates
Seijo no Maryoku wa Bannou Desu
Seijo no Maryoku wa Bannou Desu
Mar 28, 10:15 AM
Plan to Watch · Scored -
Boku no Hero Academia 5th Season
Boku no Hero Academia 5th Season
Mar 27, 7:34 PM
Watching 1/25 · Scored 8
Boku no Hero Academia 4th Season
Boku no Hero Academia 4th Season
Mar 27, 7:17 PM
Completed 25/25 · Scored 8
Manga Stats
Days: 10.7
Mean Score: 8.00
  • Total Entries15
  • Reread0
  • Chapters1,771
  • Volumes137
Manga History Last Manga Updates
Whistle!
Whistle!
Oct 24, 2020 2:20 PM
Dropped 60/216 · Scored 7
Vampire Knight
Vampire Knight
Oct 24, 2020 2:20 AM
On-Hold 61/102 · Scored 9

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Azusumabala Mar 31, 5:50 PM
omg, they gave us ugly profile pics for April fool lmao.
Azusumabala Mar 15, 11:13 AM
No problem, take your time. There are many a thing we all need to do in life. In the meantime, I should rework my last poorly written comment, I realized I didn't fully answer certain things.

Edit: Finished my little revision :).

Edit 2: So you're telling me you guys don't do math in school lol??? I wish I grew up in france if that's the case. STEMs is one of those highly encouraged degrees that good schools spends a lot of money on harnessing the kids to find interesting science and mathematics. It is necessary for the sake of the modern world. Afterall, in a few years, meeting someone with no knowledge of technology will probably be unfounded in my or the Gen Alpha generation. You'd think if we study the einstein level of maths would make us more understanding of the world we live in, but it mostly make us logical robots who doesn't mature in emotion at all. Logic and emotions goes both ways. We use logic to rationalize our emotion not to forget the idea of emotional maturity entirely. If anything, while human intelligent have increased, our maturity have decreased in this generation significantly- more so in the children.
Azusumabala Mar 13, 9:57 PM
Hey Jeremy! What do you say about trying out this manga series called "Raise wa Tanin ga Ii"? It's about yakuza, with a female lead, action crime and psychological manga. It's good stuff really ^^.
Azusumabala Mar 8, 9:06 AM
I never consider myself that smart, really. Tbh, I may just be dumber than half my class. There's a good reason why I chose art, calculus, and all those big boy big girl things such as jobs terrified me- when I failed calc I realized that getting a PhD is unlikely, hell, I wouldn't work that hard for it; I wouldn't care. Society only care for intelligence if it's useful for them, to them the collective matters more than the individuals. So if you somehow find yourself outcast from the big boy big girl world, chances are once your potential in school is over, they won't provide their resource to pick you up no more. I still have a little time left. But that's everyone's true limit, the time. We spent half our lives sleeping, therefore, if you do the math, we barely live half that life spending it on school for 14 years, money, career, and simply trying to burst our bubble of oblivion. There's never enough time to learn everything, even if the technology exists for the next few decades, magically possessing knowledge without facing it with the touch of our fingertips, we'd still be this human- an intelligent creature that knows but can't do everything they know. The brain, this piece of meat up there who can chemically electrify a way to sense and think is just a piece of meat with an ego and an identity.
What the hell..I just start bitching from that small comment. I need to wake up lol.
Azusumabala Mar 7, 3:11 PM
Well, then hello Jeremy. Honestly, I sort of expecting a different name (like Francois) but this name felt suiting as well. Oh well, Jeremy is a handsome name ;).
Pau, Nouvelle Aquitaine looks beautiful. I imagine how it must feel to live in a place full of historical monumental significance, one you can feel easily proud of with the need to preserve. It is different here in the US after all, Philly has its own history but not many too noteworthy. A few old cathedrals here and there, and the capital of US revolutionary war, independence hall, and the liberty bell is here- but through a quick google search it is mostly known for "hoagies, Philly steaks, pretzels, and <b>fucking</b> peanuts." We have little to admire here. You live in a whole landscape of history, with castles and old antiquated homes. Every corner you turn, a noteworthy picture for a portrait, and scenes one can make out for a movie or films. With less exaggeration, unlike the Americans, our country so young and recklessly chaotic for a parade of the small accomplishments in our only 250 years of age.
I do have a small feeling that conservatives in the country with deeper sentient of history and historical lessons tend to be a little wiser than the ones we have here in the US. While being conservative is rarely a wise way to progress as a country at all as most of them are stagnant to their own symptoms of nostalgia as the world moves on without them, they do have good points to make every once in a while. For example, human history repeats itself, mostly due to the fact that humans will forever remain fundamentally the same, we learn history in order to prevent history from repeating itself. Those who follow extremism, be it the left or right, never tend to have a good grasp of history on both sides- being a fencesitter may be shamed but one must acknowledge the complexity of belief and political contradiction in general. The old have more experience they all say. We know more once we experience more. There are always good reason to keep certain things the same as certain things are fundamentally the same, certain positive aspect of a culture lives on, certain aspect of historical monuments should remain for preservation. If we rid of that, we destroy a big parts of what makes up our ancestors, how our lives, stories begins on those little historical significance. I have never visited outside of the US so I wouldn't know much, but I've heard little from other Americans who travels, burst their little bubble of one facet of looking at the world, and notice all the bigger cultural significance we lack here in America. We hold on to guns, the music in the 60s to 80s, jazz, and raps, but other than pop cultural we have done alot of sinister shit behind our flamboyant self-flattery. Conservative here choose to ignore those bad side of our history. Kind of like how there are legit neo-conservative japanese denying that nanking rape was a deed their country have done once upon a time- idk, we have little to be proud of here, I certainly have none. I wonder if I would be more patriotic if I grew up in a country like France or Japan or maybe even China (maybe not china lol).
Then again, as I've said, age has little to do with making one a sage nor omniscient of every life problem ever. Looking at the conservatives in America, we have been regressing every progress we've made since the cold war. Some legit wanted to go back to the time when we still have war propaganda that use red-scare tactics to scare away socialists. This leads me to believe that one needs a good past to be conservative about, in order to understand what may be good ways to progress forward. Else, we're gonna create a chaotic society.
The Joker movie have portrayed America's political conflict very well. Chaos bred from disorders, and discontent of the common man.
I've done a few more research about cultural differences between the french and americans. The french the japanese are rarely risk-takers, while the americans are very much as reckless as stereotypes describe- we break more bones here than most countries in poverty and at war does. We tend to spend our money more senselessly as well, although we are more task-oriented. Society has done a great deal to make sure we prioritize our job over family-time, and because most of the 365 days are spent on working, every holiday hours are the busiest, most stressful time every family has to prepare for. So that way, every christmas and thanksgiving holiday can be a successful and fulfilling family-time spent. And then back to work they go after the breaks are over. Family-times are considered breaks here, kinda like vacations. French on the other hand, are more relationship-oriented even during work hours; building relationships with coworkers and boss or company affiliations are just as prioritized. This is why I may be more french than american, since relationships motivate me to work more than the idea of money or bank balances. But again, it is a necessity here. You are judged by what you can accomplish with the opportunity you are given and used to provide others, including the company.
The Japanese work ethic is much worst. An egalitarian society prioritizes your hardwork to the maximum ability, regardless of your happiness or stress. It is a successful and organized country, but it's filled with depression and drunkards. I would die lol. Japan would be the last place I'd live tbh. If I could thrive as a hikikomori there, I may as well be one.

And well, I'm am a gen z, grew in the age of developing technology, it would be more strange if I haven't used social media at all. These days there is really nothing I need social media for, so I never touched it and would rather avoid it whenever possible- as the online community, save for storing and sharing your own pictures and life, everything there is so addictively miserable. But I do have my own stuff online from middleschool to highschool years in public view. Save for the many friends and distant family members in case of contact. There are lots of things there I would rather keep than erase. This may just be a generational difference :).
However, if you do consider opening up some business or wish to grab the attention of consumers or audience, social platform may be the best way to go base on how technology is going to develop, well, we're there already. To influence people, we use technology these days. If I do want to promotes my artwork in the near future, the social platform is likely where I would go. We should use whatever tool is available to us. It is unfortunate but we humans prefer the conventional use of lifestyle.

"I am sure you can note things about me that may feel unusual to you, but not to me"
Oh, there are plenty. The guns are just a small part of the equation. To be honest, I knew it would coax some reaction of you lol. I didn't think it would be brought up so frequently. But that's just the beauty of cultural differences- well, less for you perhaps. It's a bit funny to me how big the reaction can be at times. At most, the Europeans on Reddit only made harmless jokes about it ^^. You are the first to show me a genuine reaction. Even I was a little taken back lol.
Another thing, it's strange how we're actually having conversations with one another. I'm glad you enjoy chatting with a random lonely American gal you'd mostly avoid if possible like me. The European prefer Canadians any day. It's a good surprise nonetheless. We've had more interesting conversations than ones I wouldn't have quite envisioned myself. Most people can only handle deep conversation for so long. My sisters have had her fed of it. My lil brother is too young a soul to understand my blabbering.
Anyway, this isn't a usual friendship :).

"If it is a heirloom, it is about making concessions for her sake"
I agree with that, unfortunately. Guns can be kept as a family heirloom if the purpose is only for preserving a family tradition if it's not for the usage. Yes, I see how our opinion can differ massively now.

"I didn't try any of the series you mentioned. I stopped watching TV in 2005. I don't have Netflix either. Many talented people lose their sensibility pretty fast in the US."
No worries, you don't have to know them, just brought them up to aid my paragraphs. those are the few good memorable series I kept up to date. Most, I tend to forget about anyway.
And perhaps so. I myself believe it's because the older actors are slowly becoming more obsolete to the public eyes, not entirely, the iconic ones will always remain iconic, but a new generation of actors have their own unique perks: Timothée Chalamet is quite the popular cute boy to teenage girls these days, Anya Taylor Joy, star of Queen's Gambet has her talent, there is Kathyrn Hahn from Wandavision (worth it for the actress ^^), and a handful of new young blood in recent popular marvel shows, and social media rising stars. Technology, social media can be pretty dreary at times but I may be more optimistic about certain things that can come in the future. I believe there are plenty of talented individuals if guided in the right direction- the gifted ones, like Joaquin Phoenix, are a rare gem to find in a chest full of polished metals. Most kids are constantly searching for something new and exciting. It's too bad that certain actors I grew up with will no longer be part of their adolescence. Technology also allows times to change faster. There are days I feel like a boomer when a middleschooler walks by me.
Do you have any french show or good french movie you can recommend, maybe to experience France a bit more overseas? I watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire last year, and I thought it was just the most beautiful movie. Easily one of the better lesbian movies.

And as for videogames, I haven't touched them as of lately. Ever since I enter college really. The other day, I opened up Cyberpunk and 30 minutes in I just get terribly bored and exit the game entirely before settling on some youtube videos. I don’t get it, I'm in the middle of quarantine with the world going mad. I have nothing but time on my hands but i can’t find any reason to play games. I have hundreds to choose from but I have the block in my mind which makes me not even want to load the game up. I’ll think “oh this game will be fun to revisit, I’ll download it tonight and play tomorrow”. Tomorrow rolls by and I wonder why I even bothered in the first place. I can spend a few hours on older games before panning out again. I last time I can actually sit and play a game was Hollow Knights, I loved it. Grabbed my attention all throughout- reminds me very much of undertake. I played Minecraft with my brother sometimes, but only when my brother asked. I wouldn't even bother to care for the game unless he plays with me. I've played wasteland a long time ago, I forgot about it, since I tend to avoid co-op games. I think I mostly prefer adventure ridden games. I hate grinding for levels and coins, it's usually the plot that keeps me going. It's a me problem really. But games have become so predictable and time-consuming nowadays, it's a pain to grind my way through the game. In many rpg games, they made it so you must grind and grind your way to finish the game. Like, look at pokemon nowadays. I only play for nostalgia, and now they're remaking the sinnoh region diamond and pearly and I wouldn't resist wasting my money on another bad pokemon game who could care less about making one's childhood dream of becoming a pokemon master come true anymore, they there for your money. Damn it!
Another reason why videogames lacks depth is really how I believe that too many care on put on the time people spent on the game than the story itself. Story or plots alone doesn't give them the money, in fact, hiring good artists and writers takes too much efforts rather than throwing out the bait early. Red Dead Redemption was a good exampke of an adventure-ridden game with a story and a given purpose to the characters you play, and the interaction the player can have to the world. I'm looking to play Zelda: Breath of the Wild soon but I'd have to convince my brother to buy one for his Nintendo switch (-_-). In fact, like youtube, google, and most social media algorithm, the real intention is to capture your attention, as our addictive habits to the media give them that money.

"The idea that art is a business and has to be dumbed down to be sold massively to the masses."
Yes, exactly my problem with the world right now. I dreamed of fixing it. But understanding that the people themselves accept and find some kind of joy in this way of living, isn't going to make too much difference if I do file a complaint to the government.
Not once have I sat down to watch a Michael bay movie before. I never liked transformer, when the purge came out, I thought it was just a stupid sensationalized piece of work- never took the man so seriously. It's not hard to believe this man is a millionaire for producing a bunch of blockbuster movies. I see them everywhere but never once have I came across someone who watches these horrible Hollywood blockbuster movies that come out yearly. I don't know how they make their millions. Never touched it, never met people who care too much either.I assume they must be big outside of the US, in China or another developing country that can do with some entertainment- for some dollars, and win the heart of those people to believe that the US is just that great of a country to make something budget-wise like these.

"Exactly. And this is the case in the US more than anywhere else. You are not made to live there. What you talk about is what we call alienation."
Well, there you go. All my 4 years of problem describe in one word. I deviated from the crowd, and my myself a lonely ant in the millions of people surrounding me. I am only here for my family at this point. I am also here because I have history here.
You talk about how you and mother sort of becoming strangers after meeting again in 10 years, but that is my biggest fear. I do not want my mother to be separated from her family, I do not want to see my mother as anyone as my mother. I guess it all depends how what a parent meant to their child at the end. One of my goals is to get the expense to buy her two dogs who can spend the time with her for the next 10 years- her energy and vitality match the personality of a dog than the cats we have at home ^^. I know she'd rather have company. I may move across a good portion of the US and the world if I get the expense, but my home will probably be with my parents. I guess that is one thing you and I differ from, I already know where to settle. I feel lost but there is a home that my parents have built for me- the coziest kind I can find. Travelling will only be temporary. There are things you want to preserve and save. Just like the French cultures :).

"When working for something you are passionate about, your own project, money is not the goal anymore, only something that comes along the way. Gosh, it took me more than 30 years to understand that. And i don't know how much more it would take for that find this particular inspiration and project. One example would be, maybe, opening a french café in Japan. Or creating a "holographic cinema" to put people in the center of a short movie meant to tell through symbolism. Or converting a church into an antichrist, porno-chic style of nightclub, riddled with anti-catholic and anti-religious symbolism. The point is finding something that is like you, that you could develop and sell. It is super complicated though. I still have to find the idea or anything that remotely motivates me. And obviously, i wouldn't sell it for 3 million after 3 years. Because I am not American. The project itself is more important than the money. A purpose in life is not something that can be bought or sold."
We all have wished to have some goals in life that one can work hard and aspire their time and efforts for. Like, kpop fans and otakus for example. I can only envy how dedicated one can be to the things they enjoy. I prefer a more quiet and less intense kind of activity and gravitates towards a more lenient and serene lifestyle where arts and craft can be made without the sense of time limits in mind, without the goddamn clock ticking by reminding me that the day is over and that I've spent and put so much effort and only took a few steps forward. I am terribly impatient- I wish to have the telekinesis power to create all the dreams and imagination I have for a more accurate or faithful creation to the initial mind. I wish to teleport to class rather than taking the effort to get off my ass and bike my way morning there. I wish I can timeskip traffic jams and work my days without any trifle obstacles.
Money was never a goal, but survival have always been the moment I entered college. Every day you use all your time and energy to fight for survival, to get fed, to organize, to work on and turn in assignments on time so you can get enough sleep, and get the passing grade for next semester. One can lose motivation in their dreams pretty quicker. Another manifestation of capitalism is that it sucks all the joy of working hard out of you because they made sure you are motivated for something so shallow for the sake of long-term stability. You need your hunger satiated, a bed to sleep, before your security, and only then does stability follows feat. Happiness is a long journey. I am a broke college kid who will end up on the sidewalk if I don't get that job and degree.
But I want my life on earth to have meaning and significance before I leave. Right now I'm surviving, but I want a noble journey- truth, ambition, dreams, admiration, etc,...I have a greed for this feeling of purposefulness. I crave for this feeling I cannot put into word, I have to get there first.
I find myself realizing that it's much easier to slow down and rethink your life, ponders about what you have and what you don't, and re-evaluates your position that you're standing in. The answer can be easily found, and I realized that there is actually no real answer to these questions at all. You can sit down and just think all day, or be like me, daydream and relive days you enjoy, lives you wish you can live, just to realize that you actually haven't lived at all. That's the hardest part, to live. I can brainstorm thousands of ideas I wish to write and draw onto paper, but if I don't do it, the existence of those ver ideas have become pointless, and forgettable. The time, the imagination, and the dream you've made up there are gone. I've realized, when I decided to get a philosophy major in my first year in college, most of the things the philosophers sat on their asses all days to ponder about were so obvious, why does humans not notice such obvious things when we have the brain for it. Our intelligence made of pure hypocrisy and contradiction. I can sit and imagine my purpose here in life without lifting a finger- existentialism in its best definition. It doesn't matter how much time it takes, as long as you realize it better than later.
My project is currently trying to rewrite and redraw a story I've written during my teen years. It consists of many moments of cringe and facepalm, but in my wonderful mind, I do wish to release this piece of comic to the public eyes. The real indecision here is where to publish it- should I publish my work in a conglomerate industry like webtoon or Disney marvel or should my project start fresh, and build a studio or a brand of mine from the ground up. I like to hide in my room all day but I also want to communicate with the outside world- and I do love Disney, despite all my disapproval of where the money-grabbers are headed. There are many ideas here I wish to polish and refine.
And dude, those are some crazy ideas, what is a holographic cinema suppose to be? You trying to give a presentation of the meaning of life and give them an existential crisis or something? A french cafe? I realized I haven't have any good french pastries at all in my life. Only once in highschool in french class, during french club where I have to pay for the croissants and creme something...American pastries are shit and bland, we don't make good cakes here- the good ones are too expensive to afford. The first thing Imma do during travel is to get my belly fat full of good foods- desserts especially. I want some french cake, and belgian chocolates and turkish sweets. I need to try those Japanese pastries every anime girl goes "HMMM" or "oishi~!" and stuff. I'm hungry.

"So true. And sorry, but again, "Skip Beat" tackles this :p."
Mate, my sister has been complaining about the whole decade she have spent waiting for this manga to finish- like she's near her 30s, she old! By the time it's finished, I bet my nieces and nephew will be in highschool. It's like hunter X hunter and berserk, they update once every eclipse. By the time I see the new chapter of berserk updated, I have to re-read a few chapters back to be reminded of the story again. Seeing cliffhangers over and over again can hurt a person, Jeremy. One day, I will finish berserk and look at the mirror and see how times have passed. One piece's author Oda said that he was gonna dragged the series out for another few decades. *Sigh. The best anime takes years of waiting I guess.
I will read skip beat. When I find the time of course. I'm already aware of the plot at this point.
Edit: My sister said she knows that I wouldn't enjoy the manga as it's pretty much romance-centered at this point. You get some good juicy stuff here and there but most of the time, it's usually some series of romance. Just like the majority of Korean dramas, you'd get an exceptional female mc but it all boils down to romance at the end of the day, making the show predictable and not as deep and profound they originally started out as.
You gave my sister a good laugh on the "I personally need to be inspired by a success story (if well written), so i tend to be frustrated by how our exceptional MCs tends to be unexceptional at the same time." and "I like how the MC would give a middle finger to the male MC." It's very true, she said. Although she's a big kyoko ren shipper, it's very annoying when they slow down the plot for their sake. Or something along the line. Since I hate anime that drags out their plot, she thinks skip beat will be a big annoyance for me. I mean, I did read chihayafuru, berserk and hxh and other ongoing manga, I can't say skip beat would be too different. I just need to find the time in my hand. Last time I skipped a few hours of sleep to finish good mangas and books sometimes. Ender's Game was good shit.
"To feel the feelings a character feels takes more than mere honesty. As i said, i takes empathy and the ability to let completely different perspectives permeate one's personality on top of understanding these perspectives. Becoming a completely different person on all regards. At this point, it is less acting that metamorphosing into someone else and letting this person do the job. I believe that "Skip Beat" depicts that well"
It's been a good ten years since I last watched "skip beats" when it was out- at the time when I didn't even know that manga was a thing lol. So I don't remember much about skip beats other than the fact that kyouko is a badass and some romance that was going to be developed- plus she and the blonde boy scene tends to be the funniest relationship you'd rarely find in a shoujo anime lol. I was a blonde boy kyouko shipper then. But it's a universal thing that empathy allows actors to play certain characters more accurately depicted. And one of the many forms of acting in said the philosophy of acting is really the delivery- for comedians, it's the joke, for liars, it's the half-truth and manipulation of words, and for actors, it's the body gesture, and facial expression and the appropriate imitation-adjacent. You see actors making big gestures and when they speak they exaggerate the movement of their mouth and the tones of their words and sounds, to make sure that the acting interacts with the audience so the audience can understand what was being communicated on stage. It is as much the empathy one can offer and the expression of emotion through that empathy- the skill itself matters just as much. For a good example, a psychopathic serial killer named Ted Bundy is known for luring unsuspecting girls on the street to help him on minor tasks such as picking things up for him as he pretends to be handicapped, only for him to knocked =them unconscious and kill them later. You can act using empathetic tactics, or gestures that can speak emotions, as long as the skill in delivery is met, the feelings can be interpreted. However, my point is, most people can acquire the skill to act. They can work hard to achieve the skill or the fame to be recognized, or build a career on one of the most iconic characters they have acted that no one will see them as any other. A large portion of "The Office" cast members have become just that, and no one can let them move on from their career after the show ended, simply because they see the characters as them and they're too iconic to unsee. And like you've described the similarity shared between Joaquin Pheonix and the Joker, in a way the gifted actor was meant to play that role, where he will be at his best from that role- we don't know that of course, but a legendary performance of Pheonix's Arthur Fleck slowly becoming the Joker would and could only be performed by this man. So, in a way, like many authors who write their own characters or stories, the writer themselves are their characters, their characters are the writer him/herself- and such characters can only be written by that writers. The Game of Thrones characters to GRRM, Lord of the Ring to JRR Tolkien, as Jaoquin Pheonix to Arthur Fleck.
So if the actor themselves are shallow people, they can only play the best shallow character. I believe a character name Rachael Berry from Glee, play by Lea Michele, was exactly the same person lol. The whole cast hates her in the show and in real life lol. Sometimes we can only play our best at what we are at our best. I believe there is a good quote written by Micheal Chekhov: "the unity of mind and body." You have to have the empathy to play the character but to become the character you have to be the character- one that takes more than imitation but the immersion of your conscious and subconscious both during and outside performance. There's a reason why some actors need therapy after a crucial role. Joaquin Pheonix starved himself to play Arthur Fleck. There's a good movie called "Black Swan" played by Natalie Portman, and "Whiplash" played by Miles Teller that shows some of the best acting performance in the 2010s decade.
There's this connection between the art and philosophy of acting and writing, the empathy and the connection one must make to one character. I believe there's a quote by Miyazaki somewhere (let me find it): "Some people spend their lives interested only in themselves. Almost all Japanese animation is produced with hardly any basis taken from observing real people, you know. It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans. And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!" This was the closest I can find to the original quote, he said something about how the younger generation lacks life experience and refuses life experience that anime can be pretty shallow these days. And regardless, I agree, my generation prefers fantasy over realities and refuses any deep thinking when back in the day perhaps, for a time, where deep thinking should always be considered and the only way to mature is to think. He criticizes Disney 3D films for the same reasons, they're chasing profit rather than creating this dream and wonder and creativity Disney was originally a big promoter for.
If you don't empathize you cannot act like a real person, if you don't observe and see and acknowledge real human beings, you become shallow and you cannot write characters with depth. The Modern World has separated itself to shield itself from the complexities and dark parts of humanities, if you remain ignorant you'll never really be a human with depth and identities.
You become shallow when you start becoming hedonistic, and stop thinking and let life do the work for you. Many rich people in America is like that (not all but many). If you are shallow, you cannot immerse yourself to act a character with depth, there will be a role for these people but you know, you are what you are.

"I personally found out that the most interesting people i met in my life had gone through terrific personal dramas. When they manage to survive this, their take on reality becomes vastly different. They were forced to consider things and perspectives normal people never had to consider. "
I'm sure we've all had if we look around and see the people surrounding us are people. There is a time where I met a guy who is so terribly intelligent and self-aware but also terribly broken and sad. We have lunch together occasionally during break hours, and we happen to hit certain topics and conversations most people wouldn't likely talk about. He once brought up something personal that I can relate to on a deeper level, and I hate that I have the tendency to pry but we strike a good conversation about life whenever. He had nowhere to go, he does not know where he should go- he has no home like me. Eventually, he dropped out of the same college, never heard from him again. On an emotional level, I may never understand the thing he went through nor what goes through his mind daily as he suffers from his depression. It is most unfortunate that I was that incapable of helping him- we aren't close enough to befriend but we've talked enough to understand there is something mutual in our conversation. I do hope he finds his purpose and position in life out of college. American college is dog water anyway. I'm sure he knows where to go, he is a smart man, he just needs a purpose.

"Well anyway,... human civilization has come to an end."
We are the last human left. Once, there are nine of our species walking this earth, but now only homosapiens (the most self-destructive hominids) are left. It is a confusing time. The modern world becoming a collective conscious hivemind than a communal group of individuals, especially now that our civilization is globalized. Maybe one day we will actually fall, that we may never leave this mother earth we've so gratefully destroyed and ripped its roots of life and hearts that fed us for the past hundreds and thousands of years out, to pay our homage to the universe that brought us to life. If civilization fall, we will fall altogether, connected by this thing call technology and government. So many parts of our past is becoming past, and it's being antiquated and fossilized so we can move further into a dystopian society where peace is a guaranteed option since humans couldn't stop fucking eachother in the ass for one good decade. Money or not, most have predicted that this was where we were heading for a good while, ever since we are smart enough to invent nuclear but dumb enough to use it on each other. And now every motherfucker in power owns nukes lmao.
If a new civilization does arise, I'm sure if we give them a few thousand years of fuckups, they'll arrive at the same destination. You can't cure this human condition. If we are all indeed in some way related to one another through genetic bacterial evolution, then we all wouldn't be that different. We consume eachother to survive. Circle of Life.
But if one can hope, like a space nerd such as I, if we all aim for the stars, we may and can very much enter the galactic civilizations and join our possibly imaginary alien friends in space. Now that's true alienation. Human civilization alienating from their home to pursue a more noble end.

"People these days consider others who question things and use their brains as "prise de tête" (annoying, bothersome, i guess?"
In modern times such as this where we human are forced and taught to critical think only during hours where we work or hand in assignments, most people who does have the mind to think would rather not use their energy to consider questioning "deep" things. They would rather avoid conflict in life if possible, and somehow they think that not talking about it, not consider it will somehow help them avoid it. My sister word it perfectly: "You can live just fine is you stop overthinking things. In fact, most prosperous people think less than you think they should." They don't like to think because it hinders them, their mind overworks themselves inducing stress. I experience that every day, I prefer to think really.
It is the most difficult thing to know when to act like yourself or not, or when you are you when you do something completely new and different you would have never plan to do. It is the most interesting thing in the world when you discover something, and that something becoming you. It's good to take risks sometimes. I may never know things I know today without forcing myself to experience things completely foreign to me. Choices consume the chooser, what you do in life you can't undo. My stupidity in highschool? It was still me being me even if it was a goddamn embarrassment, all the things I wish to erase from my mind and its existence in its entirety. I did what I did because I was lost and stupidly try to conform to seek the answer I do not have. I still don't have the same answer. But choosing art was my first real will. It's better to have a question you can't answer than an answer you can't question. The real freedom lies there.

There is a difference between cynicism and skepticism- one is being endlessly negative without a sense of hope and deprived of positivity as one is simply someone who can question the things surrounding himself. Being cynical is hardly an objective way to perceive life in its whole. And like you say, black and white- people who look through black-colored lenses will never see the good sides of humanity, and may in fact reject people's kindness and see it as impure intents. Living life blindly is just as worst, but less self-destructive in my eyes. And because humans just love their dualism- mind or body, when we are both, men or women, when we are the same creature, and the old Aristotle most shittier reputation "master and slave." You can't have one and reject the other, balancing is the way to enlighten both perspectives. You can't have a force without its opposite.
What's that? My side is bad? Then you're side must be terrible to think that we are of any harm! Therefore I am white and you are black. Most war and conflict stems from cynicism and a shit way of viewing the world and the people. We've seen it happen many times. Better to be realistic. Don't be old and apathetically uncaring, and don't be so young and naively ignorant- be both. Be a manchild or a womanchild at heart while accepting the responsibility and understanding the consequences in life. Most artists are a child at heart. Walt Disney was a chid at heart. Most anime and mangakas are still child at heart. It's had never been a bad thing. The biggest critique of being more "liberal" and deviant of the traditional aspect of life, are usually those who thinks choosing arts or majoring in philosophy is an immature choices of career. It's best to be a fencesitter in my eyes. Trust me, my parents thinks I'm still a child and the biggest reason is because my ass abandoned my grades and chose art. Less successful child in their eyes, what can you say. Whenever anyone follows their heart, they've outcasted from the crowds.
The fool believe that he is wise but the wise knows he is a fool.

This was a long lazy writing. This is all very sloppy and less sophisticated than what I had in mind, but I have assignments that are due. Imma tap out for now.
Azusumabala Mar 6, 8:16 PM
Tina :). Just call me Tina. I would rather conceal my last name as of right now. I don't think I want to reveal my social media platform as all my history online is there with a quick google search- can't erase sadly. If I reveal that, you'll know my sisters and brother and my whole family. They wouldn't like that. You are my friend but not theirs. They dislike me revealing too much already. My sisters especially.
Azusumabala Mar 6, 6:08 PM
No, I took no offense really. I just realized the small significance of an everyday object that can impact your psyche subconsciously growing up. I didn't even notice until you pointed that out. I learned today that I am desensitized to a weapon that can one-shot someone upon usage. It's funny how there are things you can be completely unaware of that another, even through the internet, can detect ^^. Guns were a part of my home from the beginning. It is kind of like a kitchen knifes to me, you can't touch it until your parents decide you're mature enough to handle it- after all, it is just as dangerous, one more so than the other, of course. ET was a fantastic comparison. The human psyche is a mysterious thing :). I should keep an eye out next time. I use to think about striking a conversation about guns with someone when I do leave the country and visit overseas just to make a good claim of being American- like, "bragging" material, but now I know that that would be the last thing I should talk about lol. Guns will be a little more secretive from now on.
"All these rules are obvious. They exist everywhere. In my case, I never needed anyone to tell me any of those. Because it is obvious, instinctual. I would instinctively put my finger as far from the trigger as possible."
Kids can be terribly rash with certain objects at times. I know I was at that age. It's not that I would purposely put my fingers on the trigger, it's simply that it may slip ones' mind after holding it for too long. The elders would intentionally scold the kids to ingrain that precaution whenever necessary. Kids are stupid. I was stupid.

I should still mention my own misconception of the characters and the show itself. I did not take the show seriously on my first watch, on the first episode. I mistakenly consider it as a better-animated gun girl series. My last couple of gun girls' marathons was a big disappointment. I was too discouraged to try. So when I did come around to watch Black Lagoon I couldn't be interested enough and assume it'd be another cliches. I knew nothing about the show. My bad.
"When i see Revy merely having a gun in hand... I see a person surrounded by darkness, sullied. The gun is the symbol of her perversion, of the fact that she is long gone into darkness and can't be met anymore. To an American, she is merely a girl with a gun, a character that is criminal, right?"
Yes, that was my initial interpretation haha. But a criminal could be empathized with, I had empathized with a serial killer before. Someone who's so terribly broken that they took it out on the world. There was a movie called "Monster (2003)" about a serial killer who went out against the people who remind her of those who have harmed her in the past. It is based on the true story of Aileen Wuornos- who was executed in 2002 (deservedly). The real story was much more disturbing but at times it's possible to empathize with someone whom the people surrounding her have wronged. Not saying what she did was not horrible but still, it's understandable why she became who she became and by the time it happened, no one can prevent that anymore. Revy may just be the same if I actually watched the show.

" But the fact productions in the west are so insultingly bland these days... Again... it comes from the US. This trend... In order to sell to the masses, make sure you find the lowest common denominator amongst them all and cater to it. More and more, the artists and writers and ruled by money grabbers. "
I agree. So many shows these days start out strong but became other product of money midway through. It's just a waste of time. I watched Peaky Blinder- first season was great, the other 5? They're shitting tears on the og characters. I tried Doctor Who, it went the same direction. Star Wars these days are money-grabbers. I was just watching Wandavision yesterday, finished the first season, it started out so GOOD. Ended like another Marvel's Avenger Civil War. The "experimental approach" was titillating. That's why I even cared about giving it a look in the first place. It was well done in the first 5 min of episode 3. Just like many other TV series these days. Westworld comes to mind, that Ridler Scott scifi show last year. A great few episodes which fizzle into clichés and stereotypical tropes. I'm sure Infinity War will be the best they can ever do again. I'm trying to itch my boredom here. TV shows aren't scratching that itch of mine any longer.
"It has been 10 years since i started to check the yearly financial results of Electronic Arts"
Those games are made chasing wallets nowadays. I haven't played the Sim since Sim 2. I haven't touched any EA games at all. I can't even find a good mobile games free of ads these days. It's all about the money. This is why technology have developed into. There's the good part, people of like-mind in contact with one another free of consequences, and then there's the bad part, people of like-mind in contact with one another free of consequences. Money will soon become numbers or credit on screen soon, online shopping will become more prevalent in another 10 years. Gen Alpha may never get out of their couch and purchase from amazon all day. Money keeps people in line. It's the only thing keeping people in line. Art becoming money...sometimes I fear that art will die soon, only revived every once in a while when someone is willing to take the risk to the street again. Just like the Da Vinci or Michelangelo. You know these two most influential artists throughout centuries will not be so successful in our modern-day world, because of money. It's a disappointment, really. No wonder we're all chasing fantasy then making fantasies to life lately. I lose track of our conversation again...
"And because they are very good at cultivating idiocy, because the average guy feels like he is a genius somehow, and buys more crap and becomes more stupid himself...they sell well."
That's my paragraph lol.
"This one, i ranted so much about it these past 12 years, that my best friends tend to avoid some topics by now because i can't help it and they know it ^^. "
America? Or just any modern-day bs? If either, I do the same. My sisters say that I'm always overthinking stuff, that I'm always at war with myself. "that's why you can't make any friends, you're always taking things too seriously." Look man, they just can't understand the pain of where human civilization has come to. 300,000 years of evolution and ever since our invention of currency, most of humanity just has the worst ambition in life. Religion is one thing. Race is one thing. It's all in nature that humans compete with one another. But cultural and value-wise, money has none of those. Yet we still strive for it. Many of the reasons why I began hating school. I just start knowing that everything we are meant to learn, we are coerced to learn, is the make us into another product of workforce for that currency. Of course, I'd reject such an idea. My freedom is somehow dependent on my bank balances. Whenever I look at the news I'm just disappointed. I would rather spare my anger. This is why I'm avoiding American politics or just any politics in general these days.

"Amusing to see how "Skip Beat" adresses this, too. The 2 MCs are the second type. But most Japanese are the first type, yes. And if you watched anime adaptations... chances are you saw the worst."
I see people bringing up skip beat a lot. Maybe I should actually check it out. I know it's no normal shoujo show.
And I agree about the 2 actor types. The second one is usually the one I look out for cause they always make a show more enjoyable than ever. To me, there is the pretend-acting and the honest acting. It takes a great pretender to be a good actor. It takes a honest one to play a real character. A lot of actors potential shines through when they've finally landed on a good show with fantastic writing direction to bring their character, one that is written and the one they have at heart, to light. Most actors changes once they've found the role. By then, you can see how far they progress and how far they would go to search for the same role again. Some even need therapy to refrain them to act their heart out in real life. Ron from Harry Potter was like that. Edward from Twilight, the actor, Robert Pattinson was the same. Robert Pattinson's real skill is shown in "The Lighthouse." It is the writing and the emotional depth to make a real film. Otherwise, it is not worth seeing. The "Joker" is simply the best. I actually watched a Jaoquin Pheonix film a while back, called "The Master." The characters he played there is quite similar. It's interesting how I only notice the similarities through the third re-watch.
Live-action can never portray an author's writing correctly simply because it all comes down to interpretation. If you have tried watching certain theatre play, one from early 2010s to now, there are stories that change drastically depending on how the actors/actresses play the characters. Sometimes you may land on a goldmine and found just the right actors and actresses playing the character close to that of your heart or those who played them much closer to the classic story. Actings, filmography, the cameras, the setting can be very limiting to one's imagination. Especially when you have to craft it, or when you need to budget to film it to a location close enough to the material. The angles indeed matter. I remember watching Game of Throne, and regardless of how they fucked up on the last 3 seasons of the show, the castings were still great enough to make it watchable. The writing went downhill but the actors and actresses worked better hard to make their characters real on screen. I read the Song of Ice And Fire, last year, only to find out that the show deviated from the source material a lot, that the show itself sort of became it's own original show or a bad alternative. The books are better, obviously. But the actings were still phenomenal. Never had they brought together the right kind of actors and actresses to create the best show up to date. And I know that anime, animation will never portray the same humanity these actors and actresses have worked hard for. It's like a painting. Every stroke, gradients, and shadows on the skin can portray the right facial expression and human expressions are complex enough that only real people can play people, while animated characters are only people playing humans theoretically through one's imagination. It's hard to define which one is real on that note, but at times I'm convinced that only humans can play human characters. Certain writers can only write Mary-Sues. At times, it is easier to accept an animated mary-sue than a real actor or actress playing a mary-sue. The latter flaw you can notice quicker. Which is why live-action will never be anime. I think this is why people are becoming more fond of CGIs as of lately. A CGI dragon looks more terrifying and real than a colored 2D dragon.
But like the many great ideas that Japan have risked their budget to create. If the arts are made more sincere and authentic to the imagination, it is much more enjoyable. As I've said before, the settings and the acting of reality is terribly limiting, things that can only be conveyed through penship and drawing. A setting can be made purely from imagination. Many reasons why people writes and draw fantasies if because reality itself is too limiting. Especially I who can't deal with people, onset or on stage. You can't force an actor into a role they cannot fit into. You cannot write in a way that may satiate the audience if the actor cannot portray the scene correctly. GRRM tried his best to make Game of Thrones authentic on screen because he is aware that it will never be the books, the writing, the imagination.

"I share that kind of strange curiosity. I believe curiosity is something precious. Even when it is about such peculiar things. Or rather, especially when it is about such peculiar things."
I feel like a change and maturity only comes when you met certain kinds of experience. I feel like a child sometimes, constantly judging and expecting something out of life. I need a reality-check, and cultural experience is my future goal to be a little more "wise," if that's the right word. I don't have the word, sadly.

"LOL ! Tell them i turned 40 recently and that many animes are much less childish that News on American TV ^^."
They just called you a manchild lol. "Exactly the kinds of friend you make," they said. I'm sorry, my parents are a little mean. They're a real boomer. Who only talk boomer stuff, even though they're just 10 years older than you. They're too uptight really.

"But thankfully the value of an idea, a concept, a tentative... is worth much more than the title that makes the headline for a project. Actually... i am shocked when i state my age... I mean at 11 i used to check stock exchange rather than playing like others. Empirically, my life and way to think and do things hasn't changed that much these past 20 years. Gosh... i am probably much more mature than older people. I remember how a friend of mine (she was 44 at the time) just played around with her roomate in the hospital and decorated all the room with toilet paper in a toilet paper battle."
Age are less definitive than they actually are. Life experience is the only thing that defines maturity to me. A rich and privileged person will never grow up with the hardship of a poor person to understand the depth one can face in life. Even I felt older than I actually am sometimes. And much more childlike in a situation completely new to me or I'm completely inept in. (like managing my money lol). There are things that make you older and things that make you more of a child. My parents would call you a child for not getting married at your age and have a family. They're already doing the same to me. But what makes you an adult, really. You see people have kids but those mothering-Karen are less mature than highschoolers I've grown up with. It's ridiculous as if for some people's life experience either regress them or some mellowed by them, in turn becoming a great elder generation who can guide the younger generation. Human life span has increased, but it seems to me that regardless of the times we're given it's entirely dependent on the circumstances. If the god is unkind they would toss you in the fire, like yemen, where there are kids who would barely grow past infancy.
To me, people who can sit and think and consider all the possibilities of life are much more mature than those who just sit by and let the course of life and the flow of people decide how they should go about. I'm not saying people who can live, count their money, and be a cooperative citizen are less mature than me (looking at my two older sisters that is not the case lol) but one can see through many more lenses of what can be and what will become. Reading books, visiting stories, relating to another individual, one can live many lives before their own. I realized that in highschool. When my own little adolescent wonder starts collapsing by then. Depression taught me a great deal. My family thinks I haven't changed at all, me still being a lazy nerdy fuck, but I know I changed. Then again, I can't even form a good relationship as of yet TnT. I'm still a child at heart. I can't help it. Being a hardened, rigid adult is the last thing I wish to become.
If you watched revolutionary girl utena or the adolescence of utena, it teaches you that. I also read a post-utena fanfiction who wrote a fantastic quote with it (let me find it):
""Love, forgiveness, reconciliation, truth, eternity,
miracles... these are all things that are easy to speak of with
contempt. Being cynical about everything is easy, just as easy
as believing things blindly. What's hard is to find a middle
ground. Even most adults can't manage to do that.""
-Alan Harnum (Jacquemart)
The quote means more when I read the story, it's harder to make out the meaning through a mere quote....oh, well. Just thought I'd share ^^.
Azusumabala Mar 6, 11:16 AM
That's very interesting to hear. I have seen guns since I was a walking toddler, not that I've touched it at that age but my father kept it in a lock, loaded and ready- at all time if necessary. I have never seen it as toys, I saw it as a dangerous weapon as a child. But at some point growing up I did have a taste of what it's like using a gun when my father thought it may as well be a good time to teach us (older) girls how to use them- in case of self-defense in the future. So yes, at age 14 I shot my first gun. It wasn't exactly a scary experience either, I thought it felt "powerful." Guns made me feel powerful, that I can protect myself and save myself in a dire situation when trouble comes. I live in Philly, throughout my childhood I've grown used to some form of danger around my neighbor, especially young girls. So for precaution, I assume that is the reason my dad showed me guns. Over the years, I simply wanted a collection. I thought it'd be nice, if I own one, I might as well have a couple more. We were taught gun safety at a young age, and it did come time to learn how to use it, there are strict rules to how one should handle a gun. I got a good scare from a couple of good scoldings by the staff members. Never put your finger on the trigger unless you wish to use it. Never point your gun at anyone, serious or not. Always point your gun up or down if you deploy it. And always make sure the gun is unloaded when finish using.
Perhaps, I am as desensitized as you said. Despite being a confident gun owner, I still get anxious whenever I see anyone other than myself touch a gun or held a gun. Last time, I yelled at my lil brother for not being careful. He's a reckless soul. I never kept my gun loaded like my father but the last thing I want is for my lil brother to see it as anything but a weapon. I myself hide my guns in the basement, locked with personal passwords and security. I never revealed it family member if possible. I'm actually the only one of my siblings to keep guns. My older sisters will never find the time to keep one nor is it appropriate for her to keep one, due to her career choices. I guess I watched too many tv shows. I should be more cautious about my own hobby. You're right. I should give it to my dad, or better yet sell it. I have no plans with a weapon I have to keep an eye on every day. I feel secured by it, sure, but not entirely within family members.

I too study a show very closely, especially when the anime and plot itself delve into the story with depth and you can't help but think and reconsider your own perspective and position in life. It's one of my fondness of anime, the moment I watched naruto as a child, I learn things most shows or cartoons for children are too afraid to dive into. Actually, very few shows do, and the same few shows rarely does it well. The only S-tier cartoon that explore dark themes very well and maturely is Avatar the Last Airbender. And a handful of Disney cartoons- the backbone of Disney in my eyes. You'll realize that it's usually the artists and writers who keep the industry going, not the money-making corporate conglomerate Disney. The same with anime, there are time where I'm aware that the show itself's entire purpose is to entertain and make money. Like a handful of isekai and harem show. When I myself have enough imagination to predict what a show will come to and be about, I tend to get bored very easily. What can I expect, sometimes when the potential is good, I visualize all the possibilities it can be. Aot exceeded my expectation greatly, as times, even a handful of the older shounen classic has: naruto, bleach, HxH, one-piece, even Dragonball, but today's shounen will never exceed that same feeling I've had watching the older classic shounen, due to my heavy exposure to the genre growing up.
And plus "Japanese rely a lot on the untold, the unexplained, on common grounds, common cultural references, and symbols to tell their stories. I managed to understand scenes in Japanese animation that seem totally anecdotic at first, but that actually bore a heavy meaning."
I agree, it's things like these small scenes of mind-screw, their seemingly crack-induced symbolism, and fridge brilliance that makes anime one of my big aspiration to become an artist. I believe there are cinematic achievements you can only create through artistic lenses that are seemingly impossible to achieve through films and real-life actors. For example, there were times when I decided I should sit down and watch a Japanese drama, similar to how I tend to study a small portion of Chinese, and Korean dramas or media, you'll be surprised at how little cultural significance can change how they surmise acting. Dramatic or not, you will see minor differences in how each culture tackles their expectation of realistic acting. The Koreans are amazing at that, they understand how to balance their budget- I'm talking about their action films btw, by their romance dramas are too childish at times, they also have a sophisticated way to story-telling similar to Japanese animations. They have a soft-spoken way of acting, and their dialogue delivery tends to be less exaggerated than Japanese media in my eyes. When you watch a real Japanese drama, at times it feels like the actors, especially the actresses, tries too hard to mimic the ideal acting, some movement too dramatic in my eyes to convey certain emotions. I do not understand why I can't stand Japanese acting. Of course, this is exempt entirely to a portion of shows I've watched, usually an anime adaptation. They're usually bad. And sadly they've discouraged me to try many more of their shows or films. I think I should travel to Japan to experience the real Japanese to determine whether the acting and the so portrayed demeanor is actually real to life. Anime disguise the same feeling. There are exaggerated tones and movements that I can tolerate more on an animated person rather than a real person. I would cringe if a real-life girl went all "moe" on me. It's less than cute, it looks too fake to me. So there are some things like can be expressed brilliantly through animation than reality. I wish to explore the same medium in the west- where animation is largely viewed as childish, "it's for children, grow up and watch a real show for once" is always my parents' reply to anime. The many reasons why they think I'm still a child because I enjoy anime. The west should try to be less restrictive when it comes to animations. Again, money is usually the problem. They're aware that cartoons are mostly popular with children, budget-wise, it would not be wise to make a show targeting the adult in the market. They never take the same risk here. Which is why they'll never make an lgbt film. This is why western animations will forever be Disney and dreamwork, all PG-13, for everyone. Family-friendly. Dark elements shouldn't be hidden from kids forever. Kids will subconsciously learn from their watch before realizing the importance and the value behind their childhood once they grow up. It's all part of adolescence, we mature from what we learn. We can't hide things from kids just because the parents become afraid of what's on the screen. A horror show/movie is less horror animated. In fact, Tim Burton did a phenomenal job portraying horror in a manner that can be wonders and changes and simply different. It does to our imagination to allow such "darker" creative exploration. Anime does that. Westerners are kinda afraid of that.

What you said about the angles, the cinematic directions, how lighting can portray certain emotions and scenes. I've heard of it, but this is the first time I consider it important...oh my, I am just dense. Of course, it does. I'm just less aware of it despite the emotion it does evoke. You're completely right about Black Lagoon. I underestimated Rock as a character. I assume he was gonna be a hindrance or an annoyance to the show. I assume too much before I even watch (;_;). If guns are used as another narrative tool then it may have missed over my head. Some Hollywood does portray it so recklessly, looking cool and shallow than have meanings. However, if the setting takes place where handling guns are completely lawless and creates havoc, where shooting people down is like counting bodies, never looking back to reconsider the moral ambiguity of their death. Then it most likely will evoke emotions and set the scene for the audience. Owning guns doesn't automatically make you cruel, just senseless without second-thought to how dangerous it could be. How you can be comparable to these free-wielding shooters to other cultural perspectives.

Well, I finally finished Cross Ange last midnight, I might as well get started on Black Lagoon. I'm excited :).
Azusumabala Mar 5, 12:33 PM
Maybe it just isn't meant to be taken as seriously as it is. I don't know, I should give my opinion after watching it but sometimes it's best to not take someone else's fantasy too seriously. Because arts can be manipulated through creative minds that it doesn't always have to reflect reality. For example, porns. Some perverse stuff you see on the website is unbearable and quite unsightly, but at the end of the day some horror or perverse piece of media are meant to portray it that way. Like, death metal bands sing and scream about killing but most of them aren't actually serial killers.
I should judge after I watch it. Sometimes the main protagonist aren't always meant to be heroes, they could just as well be the villain. Rock is just that annoying character for the author to preach his anime cliches "friendship is magic" lines. He's going to be annoying, I just know it. Someone can be around guns all day, but they'll never lose part of their humanity because of a weapon. Guns are like utilities to some people here, comparable to a kitchen knife, used for self-defense. It is more ignorant and stupidity of the mass here than being completely heartless. But I'm sure I'll enjoy the show now :D. Thanks for the short summary. I'm sure I have the empathy to find out what you're feeling from the show. Again, I'm going in completely fresh. No spoilers, no prior knowledge of the actual plot.
Azusumabala Mar 5, 10:05 AM
Now I'm excited. Tbf, I didn't know what Black Lagoon was really gonna be about, I thought it was gonna be a female version of cowboy bebop, thinking that: "maybe that's why it's so popular." I didn't watch beyond episode 1, expecting it to be just that, a gun girl show, just like Noir, La Bruja, and Madlax. I've watched all of those expecting some great stuff but the plot was wishy-washy, a big waste of time. I should've looked into Black Lagoon before I enter the show. It was exciting, sure. But I saw the male character and thought it was gonna be one of those shows, having a normal Japanese dude in a gun girl show for the sake of self-inserting fantasy, Revy being the waifus. Didn't think I was gonna watch that kind of stuff so I put it off on hold. Looks like I have more show to look into lol. It's always best to talk to another anime fan other than my own siblings. Their taste is pretty much the usual mainstream kind.

I didn't even know who Marcel Duchamp is lol. I looked up his art, hilarious. Mona Lisa with a mustache? All my years of art practice go down the drain. I might as well plagiarise something famous. That's what a politician or a con artist would do.
Azusumabala Mar 5, 9:23 AM
I reply to your comment before you added some minor stuff :).

Ah, that's right. Humans moral compass hinders much of our privileges and our capabilities, all of our potentials and possibilities are limited by the time we grew older and more mature to understand some of our childhood dreams will never come true- like playing cops, killing bad guys in black clothing with no signs of any blood even though we've played murder. A child's imagination is just that innocent and free before reality hit us like a truck during puberty years, which also took a little fight of acceptance. Such freedom can only be expressed through anime at times, where murdering or say, buying and purchasing human can be just as wholesome lol. Reality is bent at will through art. In simple ways that don't spur too much controversy.
That darkest you described reminds me of when I watched NGE, some of the worst parts of humanity were explored through a mere 25 episode of what I expected to be some dark mecha show. Our sense of morality can be pushed pretty far if the world messes us over enough. Killing can be breathing for some people. At times I wonder if moral compasses are even real. If it may as well be human fabricated laws, as any laws, to define what is good and bad, to prevent ourselves from wandering too far from our own sanity- to be able to render the self-control and awareness to make intelligent decisions. Brains before brawn, you see. Humans wouldn't survive long without rules, and customs, and beliefs to pick ourselves up. At times, our moral compass rarely helps us understand the real complexity that is reality. That is why children can be blissfully and innocently ignorant, they face no consequences before they have the right to exercise their freedom. We are as free as the human population allows it, laws, rules, social conduct, or expectations. If we are too free, we would have more barbarians running around creating havoc. I think it all comes down to choices at the end of the day. We can either be soft and sensitive or hard and unkind. The latter usually fight each other to death in the earlier days. The smarter ones live longer.
I actually have yet to finish Black Lagoon, it's on hold rn. You've given some spoilers lol :'D.
And dude, I watch "another" during my emo years, I actually enjoy that shit. I was a fucking sociopath, although I can't stomach the same shit today. I can't even finish resident evil 7 when it came out. I really have gotten soft.
Azusumabala Mar 5, 9:11 AM
I'm definitely one of those Americans then :(. My English teachers were a lot less strict about my writing so I basically freestyle my writing, mostly with creative intents. I should take up your habit and try reading a dictionary for a change lol. Even some of the most notable rappers read the dictionary. Your literacy skills only extend as far as how much vocab or words you actually know. Maybe I should pick up some classic old novels for a change, and revisit some old English. It may help in this case.
Everywhere in the world, people have begun speaking more English language than their natives lately. reasons probably stem from the modern use of soft language these days, our motivation toward global connection, through languages perhaps. I can't say I have the answer, but I have many Swedish who'd prefer speaking English over their own language most of the time.

Shinsekai was too slow despite so much happening. They couldn't make it entertaining enough sadly. Oh well, that's too bad.

Someone in my major did recommend me Carole and Tuesday at the time it came out. I didn't come around to watch it since slice of life usually bored me halfway through. The only slice of life I did manage to finish was some shoujo romance series. But that's just romance.
Azusumabala Mar 5, 7:30 AM
Man, you have no idea how many times that happen to me alone, myanimelist and disqus are not made for writing long comments lol. A small slip of a finger, or a little ctrl + backspace on a highlighted paragraphs or of the entire comment itself. My computer has a reputation for erasing my hardworks. I'm glad to hear that you spend the same hours on these comments, I really thought you must be typing 200wps, writing these messages so rapidly that even I feel guilty about my essays full of awful grammar mistakes that my hands have tired themselves from perfecting it.
Rules and the English language are not as strict as French, it is one of the English language advantages, as long as you're not so illiterate you can write as free as you may. And you shouldn't feel bad about your writing, especially when your English far excel mine. Everyone has a little spelling error- the English language is very confusing even for the natives to adapt correctly. For a good example, "hitting" is spelt with two "t's" but "writing" is only spelt with one "t's" That is why I use Grammarly, for my fingers can hardly keep up with my convoluted mind. If there are minor inconveniences, I probably don't have the same sense of "tone" and approach my language with the same etiquette, most languages have the customs of. I see your writing as a stylistic choice, even if certain usage of words can be entirely unique to me ^^. We Americans speak in a more explicit manner. It hardly matters to me.

I have stood up 'til midnight binging Cross Ange last night, and let me just tell you, the first few episodes were a total ruse! I thought it was gonna be another cliche revenge protagonist, who went from a softball to a badass, but it's a lot more than that. In fact, we can even compare the Normas to a great deal of ethnic/racial discrimination in today's world. It reminds me of "Shinsekai no Yori," one you should really check out. It's a bit darker, the pacing and character a little less fleshed out nor accessible really, but it's good stuff. This one is a dystopian sci-fi, I say the word-building within makeup for the controversial character development.
Azusumabala Mar 4, 7:20 PM
Mate! I was right at episode 7 before I considered dropping it! And right when I saw your comment, I was thinking: "you know what, if Nox loved it I should give it another shot." Cause I'm sure you wouldn't rec me a generic anime other than that the mc is a girl. And boy, was I glad to keep going cause it was exactly at episode 8 where things got interesting and the writer decided to stop wasting time. OMG, thank god the show has a plot. And ironically, this isn't the usual mecha show, this one actually discusses politics, and has plots surrounding the people and places other than the usual robot plot. It's a good mix between fantasy and mechas. May be why we enjoy it.
And ah, yes. My brother is in his middleschool years. You know, the most annoying years of puberty? I swear I wasn't this nosy when I was his age. And of course, he has his waifus as his computer main screen background lol. Ecchis wouldn't be too much for him at all. He just likes to make fun of anime sometimes, and fellow weebs like him.

"Some fantasms are better kept as fantasms."
That's true. We all have limits. It may just be situational, after all I saw something at the wrong time of the day, and it certainly didn't make my morning routine all that great. Who knows, if I may come across a chance to have some bisexual threesome I'd probably go all out if the mood is right.

I'm single right now. I get very lonely for not fulfilling all my romantic fantasies I've had during highschool. If you remember, my romance in highschool was just a bunch of failed crushes on boys who rejected my immature feelings. As you know, my highschool years were not great. I would rather get a lover and feel this sensation of actual "love" if possible. Love and romance have yet come true. Even though I'm already 22 lol. I really shouldn't be so picky. fetishes or kinks or otherwise, if I don't even try 'em how can I judge? Maybe dating a girl can help me open up a little to new things regarding people and relationships. I can too cautious around people sometimes.

You guys are single but dated so many people. You are luckier than you think Nox, both you and your best friend. Say hi to him for me. I can see why you guys are such good friends now >:).

Maybe you're just not the kind to settle down, it seems you much prefer traveling. I'm sure if you have the money or the expense, you would be experiencing the world by now. Idk, maybe because I'm young and have lots of ideas to explore that I can't entirely put myself in your shoes. Going too far from home is a bit too scary to me, after all, I do have a family here and I do wish to care for them here. Traveling would be a temporary experience for me. Like, I'd probably stay for a few months for the sake of experience and learning a new perspective in life. But to live out in Japan would take a lot of planning and consideration of changing my pace in life. I'm definitely lost, but not at the point to leave everything behind me. I am grateful for all that is given to me and all that I've earned so far. My main struggle is really... where to go from here. At times, despite the crowds, despite the population of people surrounding you, you'd feel like a stranger. There is no connection in city life. The only connections to my hometown is my past here, my memories, and most of all my family.
I did not mention why my mother have certain regrets about coming to America, she experienced a lot of racism and discrimination, worked from the bottom to here, where she should be considered an American citizen, but she is also very lonely at times. She is separated from her culture, history, and family at home. Throughout the 30 years, she live in America, she couldn't make the expense to travel back home, spent them on our college, her retirement, mortgage, and other future plans. She has no contact with her family back home. I'm sure the disconnect has something to do with their lack of knowledge of technology, phones, and whatnot. It's been much harder to have any contact with China at all really. But she is in her 50s, I can make a little conclusion about my grandparents back in China. Sometimes I feel guilty to not feel any sense of loss at all if they did pass away already. But I have no history with them, I cannot speak my mother's native language, I cannot even pronounce their names properly. I don't think I will do what she did and leave my family here behind. Though I admit, it's a big family, whether or not I manage to make enough money to care for my parents matters little cause my older siblings are the more successful children in the family lol. If I do feel suffocated in America, which I do think I probably will get sick of this country in another good two-three years or so, I may ponder about leaving my current history here behind, and settle in a new country, and maybe build a better career with the little skills of arts and craft if I can. But so far, it is unlikely. Depending on my expense, I will have to wait for another decade or so to get out of this country. Capitalism here is like a prison, most Americans rarely travel outside of the country because of it. Even I only visited California once, and most of my trips compose of going to jersey shores in the summer for a break- which is an hour and a half drive. I hate the beach though. I don't even know why my family likes getting their skin burned.
Visiting Japan is every weebs dream lol. I agree, when I'm out of my otaku fantasy of anime Japan, the sunrise nation really seems like a nation full of depression and alcohol and mostly work, work, and work; much worst than America since they live in an egalitarian society. Capitalism has little to do with why they work so hard, it's really just for the sake of building their nation to a healthy society for future generations- by approaching this method in a suicidal way. I will not survive a normal Japanese work-life like you lol. I will die. In fact, I would rather die than work for such long hours without getting anywhere in life. If you move there, let's make a plan to visit each other when I get the expense and visa to do so. If not, I should meet you in France when I do take a trip through Europe one day. In both options, you can give me a tour. If we could remain friends for that long though. And I hope we do. You are the most interesting friends I've had. Though I admit I don't have many lol. The best friends I've had have already gone since middleschool. Since then, couldn't make anyone closer. It may be why I can't get a good date either lol. I am a hopeless adult. My family forgive me cause I'm one of the younger children.

And Jesus Christ. France sounds very dangerous at the moment. Even I, who grew up in the more dangerous part of Philly have never experience cops bursting into my house. At most, I had witnessed a guy getting shot once when I was 4 around my neighbor and it didn't traumatize me however, simply because I was too young to understand what's death, the man wasn't entirely in view either. I also witness a cop shooting a black person who was totally unarmed and was running away before he dumped his body on the back of his trunk. A horrid sight. I didn't even realize I witness so much stuff until I grew up, and realize what the fuck I saw. The neighborhood was shit but the cops here are no better. It gives you some insight to the situation of BLM and American police. Black Americans can be pretty loud and unruly at times, but because I grew up here, I can understand that they are simply like that. Especially when most of them are poor. Shooting around my neighbor use to be a bigger problem then vs now though. Philly around my area has gotten a bit better over the year.
Immigration here in America is pretty meek as well, until trump came in, and stirred another racist manifestation, making the country far more insecure than necessary. Muslim extremists here is not unfounded but definitely not as big for there is enough racism against Muslims to allow even the good Muslim citizens to live peacefully. People calling other Islamophobia is quite the trend here as well though. If you look at twitter, it would be the worst social media platform for some of the worst political people to thrive on. American politics is just as insane as Twitter portrayed it be. Even trump had his fun there before his account got banned lol. Either way, due to 9/11 it is unlikely that any Islamic extremists will wish to do anything crazy again. The country went into a big fright from that one event alone. And we raged war against innocent Iraq for that very reasons. There is a reason why Iran and other middle eastern countries hate America. But America being a political scumbag may twist the problem around again.
But, fuck, man. Religious extremists are just the worst. There are definitely the worst stories coming from one Islamic extreme country alone, I just can't believe it has to happen to Europe. I know it's not just France, German had its share of Muslim extremists, as well as Sweden, Britain, and even old gray Finland- one of the happiest countries. To hear that it happen to you must be that bad. I would move out of that hellhole as well if I was in your shoes. I wouldn't be able to sleep for days actually. Maybe it's the fault of America again, that these extremists are going out of their ways to take revenge on European nations. Taking out their religious beliefs even though they should be aware of the harm it does to their own people. It's not just the westerners who're targeted. There are stories of young ex-muslims who are chased down by his fellow friends and family for rejecting religion and attempt to go their own way. There is even a youtube channel dedicated to that: "ExMuslim Spartacus." We aren't the only sensible people to get fed up by it. Innocent Muslims are dying every day, especially Muslim women who can barely lift a finger to exercise their rights, yet somehow the extremists punish them the most.

"They can't see that we have problems to solve before allowing more immigrants to come. They refuse to see it."
There are too many young people playing heroes to understand the reality of the political climates. Young people are easily susceptible to ideology and political outrage, they are likely the kind most radical extremist targets. We have it here as well, there were so may QAnon republicans everywhere on social media, paying the algorithms to recommend some alt-right videos to kids during middle school high school years, just so they can grow up to become a supporter of such extreme ideology. It's like the Nazi yourh group all over again, Or communisms.
There are people who want a sense of world peace, but risking the lives and the health of a good country to bring these world conflicts to heed. They want to stop the problems in the middle east, and they're using the western world fo it, as if we should own up to our mistake for involving in the middle east. I do not understand their mindset. Liberal arts college are teaching the same kind of thinking here. I can sympathize, but I obviously have family here to be fed such a naive way of thinking. Optimism is great but we should be realistic here. Every Islamic sympathizer who try to make a claim by traveling to an Islamic country got killed, I couldn't find the news, but I did hear about a girl who traveled to Morroco and got raped and killed live on twitter or was it facebook, they federal took it down immediately. I tried to watch the live stream someone linked for me, but I would rather save my stomach from such horror. The story itself is already making me gagged. They mostly target women too. Just the worst. A woman who went to Iran was met with the same fate, she was incapacitated by a mob there, they held their head up like trophies. The video was discernible as it was purposely blurred at the time. People who live and grew up in such a country will always be such inhumane people. They're mind broken like you said, and they cannot sympathize with another's death, other than their God. To see such a thing people do with their religion is the very reason why I don't support religious values. They never use logic, or some decipherable truth, it's always personal, but there are ways to practice something personal without worshipping.

What you've said about America, I can totally understand. I dislike this country as much as you. There are some more apprehensive Americans who can agree with what you've said as well. American as a country was not build on something as glorious as we portrayed it be. Although I do disagree with what you've said about the Founding Fathers. I actually respect them for they care about democracy, they could have all the chance to make America a country of monarchism, where they rule, but they remained honest and sincere to the people enough that they do wish for a long-living democracy to succeed, and make this a true land of the free despite some disagreement. We don't have much history despite the brag but I can at least acknowledge that these founders respect the idea to build a country than the aspect of power and control. Yet regardless, we found a working democracy but the true war eventually became factioned, split into regional arrangement and fights, where there are too many people and too many ideal, they can hardly control the populations. The democrats as of currently would rather pander to the government for the love of money instead of trying to fix the country at least. What is the purpose of disturbing middle east again? It's insane how much people in power have murdered compared to those they've incarcerated. America alone got away with so much war crimes. Sometimes the EU just lets us get away with it for they've also have some strange involvement down there. The US throw the militias, and the bombs, and the western country attempt to withheld some ground of control in a certain place there. I'm trying my best to understand politics these days, but all it comes down to, is greed, and power and money. Shallow ambitions, tribalistic intent, and pointy global projects. I really can't find the energy to care anymore. The media aren't explicit with their information either.

"Wow, i spent so much time writing this... You won't ever beat me when it comes to written logorrhea."
Lol. My brain gets fried whenever I write my essays, but I try my best cause it's so fun to talk to you. I guess my introverted nature still shows even though typing lol.

""Men have it hard, because their gf do not have their part. I do not understand these women"."
Well, I guess it's a little hard to understand to me. I know some girls who have the same high energy to satiate what they like, though I'm not as bold, so I can't understand. Even when I am horny at times, I try to express it through writing some smut, I lose the motivations pretty quick. I wrote so many and dropped all of them. I can't write smut, even when I do have the imagination for it. The moment those scenes imprint upon the page, I cringe at myself. Maybe I just need a penis, then I can understand how things work. If one day, science advances far enough for me to borrow one, I may be able to put myself in those horny Japanese dudes shoes. I can't imagine having sex and not consider it cheating. What was the video? Cheating in Japan, I think. Most Japanese admits 80% of them cheated at least once. They made such casual statements and remarks, and I can't believe what I've just heard.
"What do you think of cheating japan?"
-"80% of us do it. It's like getting a drink at the bar, just pay one and you get one. It's complicated," he said, about committing adultery.
"what do you think of hugging between a man and woman?"
-"that is the worst thing you can do. Absolutely NOT!" (-_-).....
You see, Japan can be very weird at times lmao.
They should consider a sex love life, it's ideal here, to find your top/bottom, BDSM, or kinks, pair here. It's best to loosen up their traditional values a bit. If having children and marriage is so suffocating for them then they should be a little freer like you. Children aren't always great. Knowing what I was like as a child, having children is the least of my concern. I just want love... TnT!
Azusumabala Mar 3, 4:24 PM
Ah, aren't I just the pure embodiment of misunderstanding people, my bad. I really should get rid of this habit of assuming before hearing the full story. I can totally understand your ex then, I do unintentionally fantasize BL subconsciously. You are the first person to know, my family would be ashamed of me. I guess there's just something wholesome about boys being close. Although the same idea isn't so entertaining in real life when I once witness two guys having at it, one morning, walking near the cobb creak wood where it's popular around my neighbor to exercise their morning routine. I despise people who do such activity outside. I guess I'm just not bold enough to perform such sexual action, kinks and etc, though I do think I am pretty open otherwise. I had a roommate called me a boring asexual once, but I'm really not, I'm just not as active as him- he who bring over girls approximately every evening if he gets the chance. College can be pretty wild at times.
I never have too much dating experience either. I dated one guy, let's call him Jake, he have quite a circle of friend and influence in my year, he isn't popular, but he is conventionally attractive, had a fantastic first date- up until the end when he told me he had foot fetish... I don't kink shame, people can like what they like but it's just not my thing. So I rejected his second offer of date. Idk, I had some college friends who call me cold. Seems like I may not land on another good date for a while. I should loosen up a little. Those guys I dated have no problem at all, I may just be too uptight about what I like. Dating is difficult.

I may be bi, you're right. I knew I wasn't 100% straight. SUCK IT, SISTERS, they never believed me. My family member have a bad fever of valuing the traditional mindset too much, they would prefer me straight. But I don't think I am. I should update my tinder profile right now. Maybe I should find myself a french girl here in the US ^^, Philly is a populated diverse city. I should really do something out of my comfort zone. Maybe I shouldn't have rejected that nice guy who have foot fetish, it may have been a fulfilling relationship if I just tried. Idk, dating is really complicated.

"Japanese anime that tends to hit hard onto the stereotype that girls should not love sex."

Japan is very weird for that reason like it seems to me that a lot of them are very horny, they may have bigger libido than the rest of us despite their heavy censorship, but apparently, girls shouldn't be allowed to like sex for some reason. It doesn't make any sense. It tells you a lot about why old mindsets are so hypocritical. What is up with that? Pu***y and D**k are great, I know, but how are you gonna expect a person to be just that. The brain can be annoying too if they aren't smart. Looking at 50% of the population in the world. Half of those brains have no brain cells to make up enough brain. I'll take a heart and all the organ with that order, make it a person, that's who I'll marry. Thank you.

..And another anime to the list.

I made the mistake of watching Cross Ange with my lil brother yesterday. The first episode ended with that scene, and my bratty little brother just looked at me funny. He said, "Wow, I can't believe you watch something like that" "I can't believe you're showing me THIS" "This is the anime you're gonna watch after taking a break from anime??"
I can't believe this kid. He forced me to watch Gintama with him afterward. It was fun but...the kid have no right to judge my anime taste. I know he like his waifus!