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I feel like that really needs to be said. Despite “side story” written in the title, being a part of the Madoka franchise comes with huge expectations--expectations that Magia Record never attempts to meet. This is not a sequel to Rebellion, nor an attempt at recreating the magic (heh) of Madoka. After all, the original was practically a statement for mahou shoujo and was such a groundbreaking and well-acclaimed series, you only really get one of it per genre. This doesn’t excuse all of Magia Record’s potential faults, but I think a large wave of backlash towards it is largely based on comparisons to the original. It’s not even really clear how MR relates to the original series, it is just a story using premade rules and concepts of the original series, so although it’s not something you should watch without seeing Madoka, it exists as a seemingly separate entity. Stop bullying Magia Record, it did nothing wrong. Just like Kyuubey. Now, as for Puella Magi Magia Magica Mahou Madoka Gaiden Getcha Gacha Godoka Gotcha Record Shoujo (TV) (2019) itself, there are actually lots of problems just on their own. For example, the story jerks you around and doesn’t really stick to one plot thread; while the overarching narrative is Iroha figuring out the mystery of her missing sister, it gets distracted by all of the other character arcs and thematic concepts that it’s easy for you to forget it yourself. Sometimes a reveal happens and you’re like “Oh. Yeah. That was a thing, I guess.” And while I can’t say the story itself is bad, it leaves you in the dark for a long time--so long that it only reveals its cards towards the very end of the season, meaning things won’t really pick up until the inevitable sequel. Not that I’m unfamiliar with stories getting better as they go along, but with the helter-skelter plotline, it could be difficult to invest yourself with what’s going on. What about the characters? Well, they’re… usable. Iroha is rather plain as a main character, but Yachiyo’s maturity along with her development are pretty strong. Tsuruno’s passionate excitement and Felicia’s rowdiness also make for plenty of fun moments, but it’s not necessarily a cast that dazzles. There’s no standout star (because Alina Grey only has one scene 0/10 trash anime), but there wasn’t any character who was particularly bad, or even forgettable. It helps that everyone has a memorable design, whether it’s a good design or not. “U gave it a 7 but complained all the time bruh moment” Yeah, here’s the oddity of Magia Record. There’s not a lot on this base level that really draws me in or is worth celebrating. But, damn, can this show be a blast to watch. Gekidan Inu Curry takes the director’s seat (or, seats, rather), originally just doing design work for the series and other Shaft works when things need to get extra fucky. And damn, does this duo deliver. Every moment of Magia Record has some sort of presence, for lack of a better word. They bring in every Shaftian trick in the book, like backgrounds cluttered with one object copied infinitely, or mysteriously empty, stark environments, and uncanny CG is used liberally. It’s nothing short of odd, and most of the time it’s downright unsettling, even in many casual instances. That’s nothing compared to the abstract visuals of rumors and witches and fantastical scenes of exposition. I don’t even know what to say to pitch them in a succinct way, all I know is that this anime trips you the hell out in so many areas. Characters are framed and positioned, lit and posed in eye-catchingly brilliant ways, or they converse in the Monogatarian manner of “doing what the fuck ever” while they speak. Easily the best thing about Magia Record is how it’s presented, as it promises to engage you with every second. It even comes to a fault, as Gekidan Inu Curry’s lack of anime direction shows with some inconsistencies. These could be basic things like animation errors and cut-corners, which can be very noticable (but also could be blamed on Shaft themselves, which I hear ain’t doin’ so well these days), but sequences and cuts can sometimes be incredibly messy and disorganized. This becomes especially true with action scenes, which devolve from being irregularly captivating like much of the rest of this series, to absolute clusterfucks where it’s borderline impossible to follow along. Still, the ambition of Magia Record’s presentation cannot be overlooked, as it is the true selling point of the anime right now. The soundscapes help bolster these beautifully jarring visuals by mirroring their strangeness, most notably when rumors are described through an erratically pitched voice. The soundtrack might not live up to the incredibly high precedent that Yuki Kajiura set in the original Madoka, but it faithfully recreates the celestial tone it’s best known for. Overall, Magia Record certainly has its share of issues and can be disappointing for not comparing well to its original series. Yet, I can’t help but praise it for how well it was presented. The best parts are that it didn’t screw up a lot--at worst, it was just mediocre. Although gacha games are labeled as “cheap” by many (fair), this adaptation was actually a significant improvement over a largely boring game. The passion presented by Gekidan Inu Curry in this project really shows, and I expect it to be even better when it returns. If anyone is playing the game and wants to add me, my Player ID is cWUz52LU. My supports are pretty decent, and one of them has a cute witch hat but she’s not in the anime so basically what I’m saying is that this anime sucks actually goodbye. Story: 6/10 Art: 8/10 Sound: 8/10 Character: 6/10 Enjoyment: 8/10 Gacha: I got Sayaka out of my free 10x roll today so 4*/4* Overall: 7.25/10 (range: 6.0-7.75) read more
“I get it. It ain’t making me laugh, but I get it.” --Meatwad (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) Although I didn’t enjoy it all that much, I respect how Tueeeeeeeeeeeeeee repeats its own themes of caution within the writing by explaining every single joke and detail of the story. Even the title itself is an act of caution: ‘Cautious Hero: The Hero is Overpowered but Overly Cautious’, the subtitle of which is literally just a much longer and more inconvenent way of saying “CAUTIOUS FUCKING HERO”. White Fox themselves delayed the broadcast of a couple episodes to make sure they would be of watchable quality before pulling an Arifureta in back-to-back seasons, and there was even a recap episode JUST in case you really didn’t get the plot. But what this cautious anime overlooked is that the isekai genre has been more saturated than Guitar Hero games in the late 2000’s, leaving even the bottom of the deepest barrel empty of any scraps for more uncreative literature geniuses to feast off of. Not that I think isekai is a bad trend or anything--at the risk of handing over my e1337ist anime reviewer card, I think there is a genuine amount of potential in the story concept of an “ordinary” character summoned to a fictional world where his real-world skills and logistics are tested in another dimension. It’s not the Goddess of Isekai’s (probably some big-titted bimbo sitting up in some other-worldly realm watching me from a glass ball or some shit) fault that like 1% of people actually gave a shit about trying. And it’s not even that I crave a particularly unique or creative story to enjoy something--catch me celebrating the arrival of the Slime 300 adaptation. But… at some point, I have to wonder “When is this going to end? When will enough be enough?” I’d like to think that the diarrhetic bombardment that we got from isekai last season would have dropped its stock a fair bit, but I guess now that we got one that is “acceptably not shit” immediately after, everything is hunky-dory again. Let me get to the point. Cautious Hero is an extremely typical RPG-like story, but the twist is that the main character is ridiculously over-cautious to the point where he has to kill a minimum-level monster with a much more high-level spell--dozens of times. He spends incessant amounts of time grinding before taking on boss fights and his outlandish actions spread to NPCs. As a result, his actions are often questioned by the world around him, including a goddess from the Divine Realm who accompanies him. Given the relationship between this goddess and the main character, the #1 comparison to this anime is KonoSuba, but I would actually say this is more similar to How To Not Summon A Demon Lord. The reason why is because of a shared flaw: In its attempt to parody typical RPG stories, this anime becomes mind-numbingly boring to watch. Cautious Hero features a completely recycled, by-the-numbers JRPG plot about finding a legendary sword and armor and killing the Demon Lord and its four generals. Late into the story, the author tries throwing some high-stakes plot twists, but they’re lateral moves. They changed things up to be slightly less generic than before, but they don’t actually make the story better--in fact, they feel more like time-wasters. More on that later. I’m trying to think of more to say about how boring the story is, but that’s just it. There’s nothing to say. All I can think of is how the anime spent several episodes on this quest to a dragon village with these two slapdick NPC kids. I get it, Cautious Hero, the joke is that these kids are traditional RPG protags and Cautious-sama is much stronger than them so they’re actually useless great job everyone. It doesn’t change the fact that these characters are not even slightly amusing to watch. Look, if you want to have a guy take down this big colossal threat in an unconventional way, go for it. But pretty much all of the side characters could’ve been replaced with mannequins modeled after Mads Mikkelsen and nothing of value would have been lost. The other problem with this anime is the incredible amount of repetition, how it even repeats itself beat for beat sometimes. Seiya goes to a new town → Seiya uses facts & logic to piss off the locals → Locals/Ristarte question his status as a hero → Seiya goes into the god realm to get trained by a god or goddess → said god or goddess is completely mind-broken by Seiya’s OP-ness (say that out loud for maximum comedy!!!!) → Seiya ultimately defeats the big ultimate omega god threat and kind of sort of wins the locals over. This exact process happens more than once. Aside from parodying typical JRPG elements, the other main source of comedy is from the goddess, Ristarte. Or, rather, her having extreme overreactions to every single thing that happens on screen. This is actually one point in favor of Cautious Hero, the handling of Ristarte as a character. She herself claims and believes herself to be this perfect, heavenly being who graces those around her with her mere presence, but her true personality is a very short-tempered, unlikable brat who throws a tantrum when things don’t go her way. This is where most of the KonoSuba comparisons come in as she’s almost identical in personality and role to Aqua; I can’t really deny this myself, but Ristarte is still enjoyable. Or, at least, enjoyable with how the animators deliver her reactions. She distorts, stretches, changes colors, her character design gets outright abused in animation with her expressions. And even though I stopped finding her general personality enjoyable after a while, White Fox never stops the crazy train with her faces, always willing to deliver a new, bizarre expression. For some other notes on this character, Ristarte thinks she can seduce Seiya, but instead Seiya is so magnificently handsome and brooding that she’s the one mega horny for him instead, and of course Seiya gives zero fucks about her. It’s a pretty funny joke, but it also gets done to death by the halfway point. Also, this might be a reach, but I like to believe that the ED is a shitty CGI dance to exacerbate her hypocrisy as this cute, endearing godess. Because the ED itself is meant to be cute and endearing, but with such tacky animation it is anything but. The other role of Ristarte and most other characters is to loudly repeat everything that happens on screen, just in case some deaf people had it in them to watch some colorful Chinese cartoons. I don’t necessarily mind this sort of thing all the time--characters reacting and explaining things and all that. But CH has to do it every. single. fucking. time. Seiya does something weird, and then someone has to loudly exclaim “SEIYA DID THIS FUCKING WEIRD THING! WHAT!!!!” I specifically remember a fight where Seiya devoured a plump bag of stat-boosting seeds in one gulp. This is a funny joke because Seiya is always a very serious, straight-faced man, and now he’s drawn in a much more comical way, with the mouthful of seeds making his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk. Then Ristarte says out loud, “LOL he kinda looks like a chipmunk!!” Once again, thank you to the real Cautious Heroes, the writers, for being cautious enough to make sure that I understood this 200 IQ joke. Speaking of 200 IQ, the writer(s) realized at some point that this anime isn’t actually doing anything special, so the last few episodes dish out a few plot twists. But as I said, these are lateral moves that don’t really improve the anime. Do they make it more surprising? Sure, I guess. But was the anime better because these things happened? Would it matter if these twists were taken out in favor of a more straightforward plot? It’s not like these twists did anything to change my perspective on the series or anything. Let me explain, and SPOILERS by the way. I’m sure the mods want me to be a little more CAUTIOUS with the spoiler warning so here you go. This section is where spoilers start. This section is where spoilers start. (x2) These spoilers spoil things that happen. Do not read the spoilers if you do not want to be spoiled on things that happen. Go to the point that says the spoilers are over if you do not want to read spoilers. Ready perfectly. I am completely what the fuck ever. So one of the main goals of the isekai story is to find a legendary armor, because apparently all other armor is useless against the Demon King or Demon Lord or Demon God or Demon Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself or whatever. Instead, the armor is destroyed by a boss, who sacrifices himself and a literal entire village to summon some transcendent phantom thing. The phantom has glitched stats and all attacks cause it to multiply instead of dealing damage, and when Seiya and company retreat into the Divine Realm with all of the other goddesses, it actually follows them, because that makes a lot of fucking sense. Ultimately, a goddess uses a big fuck-off instant kill move on it, which makes me wonder what the actual point of all this was because I’m here to watch Cautious Hero, not this bitchlord. Weeeelll, it turns out the point is to have Seiya learn the move instead, because the penultimate episode reveals the big, mind-blowing plot twist that it’s had saved all along. Seiya was already isekai’d before and had a pregnant gf in his party; he ultimately failed at the final boss because he wasn’t cautious enough and this girl died and reincarnated into a goddess as Ristarte. And so Seiya has this instant-kill move that also kills him because, underneath his hard, cold demeanor, he’s a selfless and deeply caring person who is cautious at every turn because he doesn’t want to lose anyone else. Except all of this was not really that surprising, and some of it was already established from the get-go. I’m not gonna say I had this entire backstory in my head from episode one or anything, but--wow, Seiya is really cautious because there was a time when he WASN’T cautious and he suffered from it? Genius! Ristarte got a restart on her life and that’s why her name is Restart, wow! Okay, cynical comments aside, I really don’t get why Seiya is such a shit to Ristarte if this girl is supposed to be actually meaningful to him. Even if it’s like the show implies, where he’s cold to others because he wants them to be pushed away so he doesn’t have to risk losing them, he can be a little brutal to her sometimes. And more importantly, this big reveal that deep down Seiya is actually very compassionate was already explained in one of the earliest episodes. Seiya trains in the Divine Realm for a while instead of fighting a dangerous threat head-on, and when Ristarte berates him for it, Seiya explains that he must be as careful as he can, acknowledging that if he dies then the world is fucked. Boom, done. Did this backstory really need to happen? Cautious Hero is an absurd comedy. Did there really need to be an emotional reason for everything? And more importantly, did I care that they bothered to add it? Ultimately, this didn’t change my perspective on the characters or the story, and with these characters being so one-note, I didn’t have the investment in them to be hooked on this story beat. I wouldn’t say this was necessarily a bad thing, because I would imagine someone being really into this episode if they were really into the show already, but coming from a neutral-or-worse opinion, it was a flop. End of spoilers. The spoilers have ended. You can read the next part if you skipped the spoiler section. The rest of the review does not have any spoilers. At the end of the day, what draws me into Cautious Hero is the potential for an absurd story. An extremely overpowered main character who fights bigger and badder threats each time, with a bizarre personality quirk to boot. The early episodes did pretty well to deliver this. But as time went on, the lack of creativity really showed. It became too invested in telling a “real” story, and that story just wasn’t very good to begin with. And to add insult to injury, it’s another light novel series that absolutely loves to overstay its welcome. Although a second season hasn’t been announced as of this writing, the novels themselves continue. There are more arcs to this story, more worlds to explore. Seriously? What the actual hell are they going to do from this point? This series had literally one job: Cautious Hero kills Demon King. Boom, done. End of story. Why do we need to explore more excess bullshit? One thing that slightly props up this anime is the production--the visuals are often loose, but colorful and expressive where they need to be. Funny enough I thought Mash and Elulu, the two most pointless characters, were actually very well-designed and maybe deserved to have a real show together. Seiya is good as far as generic, edgy-looking LN protags go, and I’m overall neutral on the designs of the gods and goddesses, although I did really like Adenela for her crazy Hex Maniac-like design. Sound-wise, the two frontline characters are well casted. Yuuichiro Umehara, known for his role as Goblin Slayer, slips into the place of Seiya seamlessly. Aki Toyosaki hams up her performance as Ristarte effectively--even though I got tired of her screaming after a handful of episodes, I wouldn’t blame the actress for the script. The OP is fine, but I wouldn’t listen to this song outside of this anime. The so-called metal instrumentation is so cheaply produced that it’s like eating reheated pizza after a week. I can fuck with it, but I’ll take the real thing instead any day. I mentioned the ED as being fun if the intent was to be bad, so I guess you can take that as you will. The soundtrack exists. To glaze over everything I’ve said to this point, there wasn’t a lot about Cautious Hero that was outright bad--at worst the show is tiring and repetitive and uncreative, but all of that would just be a bit disappointing instead of disastrous. It has some highlights, especially early on. It overall balances out to being mediocre. Which, I guess is worth something nowadays. Story: 4/10 Art: 7/10 Sound: 6/10 Character: 5/10 Enjoyment: 5/10 Caution: 9/10 Overall: 5.25/10 (range: 4.5-6.5) read more
Not because of its content, mind you. But because THIS is what the community decided to make a whole brouhaha for, rassling endlessly about how “DAE RAPE IS BAD???” Now, I apologize, we’ll talk about the show itself in a hot minute or two. But the community discussion of Goblin Slayer really is integral to the series itself. Like an album cycle from Kanye West, public reaction is all part of the seasonal anime paradigm, after all. Even if this anime is lost to the weight of time (read: four months), it should be noted that this anime caused quite the stir for its first few weeks of airtime, until everyone finally realized that SSSS.Gridman and Zombieland Saga were the actually worthwhile shows. It was hilarious. Apparently, no one’s seen Berserk. Devilman: Crybaby wasn’t a thing. But this little ditty had an ape beginning with the letter ‘r’, so the community became a monkey house about it. Many parts praising the anime, with a loudmouthed bunch absolutely horrified over it, causing the latter half to be even more vocal. And that’s why, at the time of this writing, Goblin Slayer is the most popular anime of Fall 2018, ahead of the new Sword Art Online, and the much more beloved adventures of Slimeboi and Bunny Girl. Nevermind the fact that, two seasons ago, Mahou Shoujo Site literally did everything in its own first episode that Goblin Slayer did, plus change, and was outright buried by the community for it, the general seasonal community doesn’t like to dwell on things too much. Not that I’m implying anything~ All this, for what? Is Goblin Slayer REALLY that daring of a show? Is it showing a brutal, grimdark reality? Is it making a scathing social commentary?! Is there an intellectual masterpiece lying underneath all of this terror?!?! Ha ha ha! No. Like the Elf’s chest, the answer is a flat, uninspiring no. Don’t get me wrong, I love Goblin Slayer a lot. I think this show is a blast to watch. But I don’t consider this anything more than what I mentioned earlier. “Cheap entertainment.” It’s not gonna mentally challenge you, unless you’re a literal retard. In fact, as far as graphic violence goes, I’d say there isn’t really enough to recommend the anime based on that single element. It’s there and it’s nice, but it’s something that’s lurking around the corner, rather than a relentless bombardment. But, it’s true. Goblin Slayer--the character--has no personality. The goblins themselves act as a mindless force who do bad things so the audience will root for their defeat. The supporting cast is gimmicky; the setting, mild; the story, basic; and an artstyle uninspired. And to what end? Well, the thing about Goblin Slayer is that it never really tries to offer a fully immersive adventure series. The show doesn’t ask you to think. It doesn’t ask to be questioned. As dumb as it is, Goblin Slayer is exactly what the label says. It’s about Goblin Slayer. His name is Goblin Slayer. His occupation is being a Goblin Slayer. What Goblin Slayer--the show--does, is strip everything down to its very basic elements and present something simple and blunt, and that’s what makes it a hilariously amusing show. Goblin Slayer--the character--this is getting out of hand--has a brutal honesty and charisma more dull than his armor. See, this guy is not just A goblin slayer--he is THE Goblin Slayer, and the lengths of which his dedication go to are quite fascinating, and, honestly, really goddamn funny. His entire brain is geared to destroy every goblin on the face of the Earth. He constantly wears his armor “just in case”, he only ever accepts quests that involve killing goblins, and he even mutters “Goburin…” every now and then when he’s about to embark on a quest. It’s like Ash Ketchum on the Genocide Route; it’s a simple, childhood-like dream that’s continued into adolescence and consumed everything about you. He’s a man on a goddamn mission. And when I say this anime is funny, I don’t just mean “ha ha, graphic violence, what a spectacle!” like I normally do. Although, that is pretty funny tbh. But I truly, genuinely think that Goblin Slayer presents itself as a comedic show many times throughout its run. With things like Goblin Slayer’s--goddammit it, this is hard to express--MC-kun’s blunt personality will create some funny back-and-forths with the characters he regularly parties with later into the show. “What is that?” says the Elf, gazing upon the birdcage which this Undyne-looking motherfucker is holding. “You don’t know what a bird is?” he replies. It’s that Sheldon Cooper, possibly autistic mentality that makes him enjoyable. His inability to properly communicate with other people lead him to say things so sharply honest that it has a witty sensation, and as you’d expect, it has an effect on the people he interacts with. In a scene where Goblin Slayer’s party--he forms a party, by the way--gives their own noble speeches about why they became adventurers and what it means to them, they circle around to Goblin Slayer, who begins to say the usual “to slay Goblins”, he gets cut-off mid-sentence by the Elf, essentially saying “yeah, we fucking know.” And that one scene with the Sword Maiden. . . do I even need to explain why that’s funny? And when I say--shit I already said that. Oh well. And when I say this anime is stripped down to its basics, that’s not me being reductive. That’s not a 0IQ comment of “lol turn ur brain of cuz its dum!!1”, I really mean that it’s basic. Every character in the show has a name that is exactly what they are. The priestess is called Priestess. The elf is called Elf. The hot receptionist waifu is Guild Girl. The girl with big titties is Cow Girl. The setting has room for full exploration, but chooses to focus on this one little story instead. You know the template isekai plotline of “I’m the main character and I need to defeat the Demon King God Emperor Overlord!!” Well, that happens in the world of Goblin Slayer. The big boss is actually defeated. Not by the Goblin Slayer himself, mind you, but by a completely unrelated character known as The Hero. Imagine that. The world has more areas to explore. Adventuring is a given; ranks are awarded to those who succeed, and many other characters do as such. But, among all that, this anime is about one thing and one thing only: a guy who just really likes to kill goblins. I commend this story for sticking to such basics. Say what you will about it, but it doesn’t ever stray off its path. It’s delivered just as advertised, no refunds allowed. If you want a more expansive fantasy, that’s fine. But Goblin Slayer never, ever promised to deliver that, and it really doesn’t have to. Not every fantasy needs to have the long, thorough exploration of One Piece. Not every conflict has to have the moral greyness of Shinsekai yori. If you don’t like that, well, you should probably just watch another show instead of bitching about this one. It din’du nuffin’. For what it’s worth, Gobby Gobby Kill-Time has a surprisingly believable world. Mr. Slayer isn’t a character who is worshipped and respected. He’s not a self-insert made to look badass. He’s a fucking weirdo and is treated as such. Other adventurers look down on him, gossiping about his disgusting habits: not ever cleaning his armor, never talking to anyone and only taking the most redundant of quests despite his Silver ranking being quite high up the board. His job is not admirable. Despite that, there are people who believe in him. There’s his cow-titted sister or what the fuck ever who appreciates his work. Priestess was initially saved by him, and follows him around to not only learn various things as an adventurer, but to also normalize him as a person. Elf and the others--actually, I forgot why they’re there. Oops. And then the receptionist waifu commends him for his dedication in one of the anime’s most underrated moments, where she expresses her appreciation for doing the things he does. Because, at the end of the day, it’s a job that needs to be done, even if it sucks, even if no one wants to do it, something that many people can likely relate to. There’s no bullshit. No real asspulls or crazy powers. The anime has a good sense of rules, balance and logic for its battles. Different weapons are used depending on the environment; magic has very limited usage, items are consumed in very specific circumstances with preservation in mind, and many different approaches are used to killing goblins. Do they storm into a nest and rampage through them all, or do they lay traps and smoke them out? How do they deal with an ambush, or a boss? And better yet, what happens when shit really hits the fan? This party isn’t perfect, and there’s a threat of very not good things constantly lurking. While I wouldn’t say Goblin Slayer has any real strokes of genius with its combat, it certainly gets the job done well enough to make it a believable and interesting enough action series. Goblin Slayer is a fun show. It’s as simple-minded as the title implies and plays the role it signed up for. It’s a very simple action/adventure series with an edgy streak to it, but please note that it’s really not the edgiest thing in the world or even really this season like holy fuck watch Golden Kamuy you fucking cotton-humpers. Anyway, at the end of the day, it might seem strange; I’m giving this a positive review but also saying it’s not that big of a deal. That’s because it isn’t. Y’all just need to calm down. Story: 7/10 Art: 4/10 Sound: 8/10 Characters: 7/10 Enjoyment: 8/10 Goblins: Dead/10 Overall: 7.5/10 (Range: 6.0-8.0) These are bonus sections because they don’t really add anything to what I was saying, but some people might still care for some reason. The art is mud. Rapist Slayer Guy is CG in some scenes and not CG in others. It doesn’t look good when he is, and the fact that he isn’t all the time makes it very weirdly inconsistent. The director sometimes does good things, but also tries a little too hard to make some shots look cool; it’s very hit-or miss. There's also a countless number of horribly tacked-on blood splatters that makes every kill look hilarious. The backgrounds are nothing to write home about and the setting itself is pretty generic, but the character designs are actually quite good. Mr. Slayer has a cool red eye for when he gets cereal and Priestess-chan can get the dick; I’d go as far as to say they look iconic for how strong their designs are. Elf has some cool, sharp features and Lizardman looks pretty rad. The OP has one of the most interesting songs that I’ve heard in anime this year, to the point where White Fox seemed pretty clueless as to how to animate it. Some of the shots feel very strangely timed and there’s little consistency to its visual themes. Still, the song alone makes it a great OP with its somber introduction going into mysterious vocal melodies, crescendoing into an action-packed verse until it lets out a long vocal stream, layered over another melody about wanting to kill goblins and shit. It’s actually really well-written, but the percussion sounds like someone farted on the audio waves somehow because it sounds like shit. The ED sucks. Watch SSSS.Gridman. read more
At first glance, it looks like it’s a remake (of sorts) of The Power of One, the second Pokemon movie. The title “The Power of Us” is a great mirror of that and it stars Lugia as the centerpiece. Except it’s not. This movie isn’t about Lugia, it’s about Zeraora. So if you think this new Electric-type fursona looks super cool, then this movie’s gonna be up your alley 10/10. So let’s throw all immediate comparisons out the window. That’s fair, I don’t mind at all. But I’m still completely unsure as to what this is supposed to be. It certainly doesn’t have anything to do with I Choose You, that movie isn’t even referenced in this. Forget that really cool potential development Verity might’ve had with her Mom--not important or anything it’s just the fucking Champion of Sinnoh--she’s out of the picture forever, I guess. But they’re still continuing this theme of Ash and Pikachu’s journey starting from scratch, considering Ash is wearing the same cap from ICU. Whatever, maybe they were afraid people wouldn’t keep up with the movies enough, so they didn’t wanna make a whole new storyline with them, fine. So this movie isn’t a sequel to I Choose You, nor is it a remake of The Power of Us. Alright. I still don’t know what this movie is. I guess they decided to remove the ‘adventure’ part of Pokemon to make a drama instead, since the only settings in this film are a boring town and a boring . . . mountain. Cool. It’s not necessarily terribly written--most things make the proper amount of sense with most of the causes and effects lining up, but it’s just so . . . boring. Two seconds with all of the characters will tell you everything about them and the arc they will eventually follow. The uncle guy lies to his niece to impress her. Even a Slowpoke could predict that he’d be found out halfway through the movie, become hated, and become part of the heroic plot later to redeem himself. Amazing. Look, I get it. It’s Pokemon. I’m not expecting an Academy-level plot here. But . . . I also enjoy the Pokemon anime most of the time, because it’s not so thoroughly bland and uninspired?? The Sun&Moon characters have tons of quirks, tons of personality, and they’re tons of fun to watch even though literally nothing happens in that series. Power of Bum feels equally pointless but pretends that something interesting is happening the entire time. This movie just has too many pieces. It ultimately spreads out into a three-pronged conflict where its bloated cast is scattered all over the place. As a result, tons of things need to happen and need to be explained, causing many of these pieces to have extremely minor uses. Two Pokemon Hunters appear in the beginning of the movie for a couple seconds, obviously scheming something, and then they show up about halfway through to start shit, and then they disappear off-screen forever. The gyaru-looking chick has a brother just so that he can magically guide her through the forest for one scene later in the movie. And there’s the incredibly dumb “plot twist” about how Zeraora was condemned by a past generation, only for the leader of the current generation to know the truth all along, but keep that a secret from everyone for absolutely no reason when he could’ve settled that dispute years ago, but that’d pre-emptively erase half the conflict of the movie. Also, can we talk about the fact that, of all things, the “forest guardian” in this movie is an Electric-type . . . thing? What is this? What is “forest-like” about this creature? Have they just completely given up on symbolism with their legendaries? Marshadow is one of the coolest Pokemon ever, how did we go from that to this in a single generation? Its only defining trait is that it’s fast so that they can play the same scene of a thing falling on top of a guy, only for Zeraora to swoop in and catch the falling thing at the last second. Every. Single. Time. . . . Wait, hang on. Pokemon Hunters . . . forest guardian . . . this is actually a remake of Pokemon 4Ever. What the fuck. Those LIARS!!! Even as a general Pokemon story, it doesn’t really capitalize on anything about Pokemon. The biggest opposing threat in this movie is an oh-so-ominous gas cloud. No, I’m not talking about Gengar, it’s just some poison gas that Ikoma from Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress made. Sure, it’s Effect Spore, sure it’s an actual Pokemon thing and they use Lum Berries to cure it; I like practical applications of small Pokemon bits like this. But that’s all they are. Small bits. Who the fuck wants to watch a Pokemon movie about Ash and Pikachu fighting against toxins. Pokemon should always be about THE Pokemon as much as possible, and these mechanical elements should take a backseat and serve as tools instead of being the plot themselves. So, again, what IS this movie? What is the point of it? That Pokemon and people should work together? You know . . . the theme of EVERY FUCKING POKEMON STORY IN EXISTENCE??? It doesn’t even scratch the itch one might have of seeing animated Pokemon battles in the big screen--you get some, for sure, and for what it's worth the Pokemon Catching contest was pretty fun--but the movie’s more of a problem-solving thing than anything. I guess. But, beyond that, it’s just a bunch of really boring characters involved with a plot that has too many things going on. And then Lugia appears for like five seconds. I just can’t recommend this. If you’re a Pokemon superfan who just likes watching Pokemon then you’ll probably just shit on me for posting this and go watch the movie anyway and have a great time. Whatever, I don’t look down on that. But I’m not that kind of person. I’m giving this a 2 because it feels so pointless and boring and did absolutely nothing for me. It didn’t do anything to insult my intelligence, necessarily, which is why it won’t go lower, but it feels like a waste of money and a waste of time more than anything. Maybe “The Power of Us” refers to the people who made the movie and their power of siphoning my wallet. Can’t wait for Smogon to ban that shit. read more
Nowadays, the shows I fight to defend are highly misunderstood because their appeal is too specific, causing the general audience to flaunt their standards around like they’re supposed to mean anything. Past examples include Mahou Shoujo Site, Jashin-chan Dropkick and Hand Shakers. Yet, Happy Sugar Life is a different sort of… thing, whose plot setup is about as logically sound as riding a lawnmower during a hurricane, seemingly leaving not but a select, niche appeal for the sickos like me. A high school girl is basically holding a little girl hostage in a populated apartment complex; she hides this among her normal daily life of going to school and working part-time jobs. You know, like all teenagers do. If this is your first time reading the synopsis, then you’re probably asking a lot of questions like “Huh?” or “What?” because the basic rules and structure of society suggest that this shouldn’t even be possible. And for me, knowing that much is what made this story interesting--HOW these characters are living such lives, and what will happen when it inevitably shatters. Because there’s just no way it won’t--and the very first scene of the anime suggests that it very much will. Happy Sugar Life makes use of its own flaws. The sugar-coated scenes of the main characters in their unnatural habitat are not just for show; they’re presented as a true illusion from reality. The conflict is all the outsiders learning more about their lives and trying to tear it down, a plot that snowballs as the situation becomes more and more complicated. A situation known as “reality”. What’s more, is that the aforementioned little girl doesn’t even seem to be a real character. Shio Koube lives and breathes, but her actual personality is baffling. She’s constantly happy and cheery and trying to do the best she can to help her caretaker. She doesn’t question the life she lives or the outside world she’s prevented from seeing. She is simply “a daughteru”: the ideal child anyone would want to have--no, scratch that. Megumin and Chtholly are daughterus to me, but that’s because they actually seem like real characters, because real characters have flaws. Shio Koube does not. Shio Koube is not a real character, nor a daughteru--she is a pet. A Shia pet, if you will. She exists to be cute and fluffy; you feed her and play with her a bit, and if you can do those two things, then she’s not gonna be a bother to you outside of the occasional natural fuck-up. That’s cool and all, but that’s not how a human child actually acts. But what’s smart about the anime is that it actually addresses this. Shio’s personality is the result of past trauma that’s she’s forgotten; and as she learns more and more about herself, it starts to crack a little. By the end of the series, Shio outright states that she’s meant to be more than a living object used to draw mental security from, practically breaking the fourth wall by stating she’s a real character who has a functional and realistic train of thought that accurately feeds into her personality. In other words, Happy Sugar Life was only pretending to be retarded. Because, with the way it handles its plot by addressing its flaws and nailing its appeal with few problems, I can’t help but think that Happy Sugar Life is actually pretty clever. As dumb and over-the-top it may seem, it was in full control of itself and did what it set out to do. Suffering, violence, trauma and psychosis. Of course an anime called “Happy Sugar Life” would be about anything but. Characters have very specific, intricately detailed mental issues, so much so that I can’t guarantee the anime doesn’t take place in some sort of high-tech asylum that simulates society as therapy for its patients. The way they’re presented are interesting on their own for what they are, but the main character herself acts in a surprisingly grounded manner. In the first episode, she verbally beats down her employer over a payroll cut, explaining how she was fully aware of the manager’s schemes but played along for the sake of being nice, only to still be punished. She completely dismantles this person mentally and challenges her, but her tone of voice is what sells the scene. She doesn’t scream or shout, the soundtrack is dark but sparse with details, and the visual direction is simple but effective. It’s not dynamic, over-acted, or over-the-top. This scene could’ve easily been a screaming match between two idiots, but… that would just be silly and unnecessary. Quiet words speak louder than loud words. That’s totally how the saying goes. Satou Matsuzaka, aka “Holy Shit Is That A Motherfucking Mirai Nikki Reference???” is fully in control of herself, able to function like a normal person in most circumstances. And by “control”, I mean she seems to be keeping a deeper anger pent up within her, choosing not to do any more than what’s necessary. It’s a contrast from the manager in episode one, who fights back with shouting and more body language, among other characters that I’ll get into later. The stability of Definitely Not Yuno’s mental condition is part of the snowballing conflict--as her Title of The Anime becomes harder and harder to keep, her psyche decays, and as her psyche decays, she becomes more and more dangerous. Basically, if you know what the fuck a yandere is, you know what’s up. Watching Pink Yandere fall further into despair as the story progressed, as well as her drastic shifts in attitude, are a blast to watch. Hana Kanazawa delivers one of the best performances in her incredibly prolific career, at times sounding completely unrecognizable to me. She’s not just using her Akane Tsunemori serious drama voice, she’s speaking in a tone FAR lower than almost every anime she’s been cast in. And, as a huge fan of Mirai Nikki, you bet your ass I loved episode 11 when she tied her hair back to look exactly like Yuno. Praise be. The other characters in the series are in various stages of sanity, for better or for worse. The most notable is Satou’s Aunt, who hoardes trash and lets weirdos beat the shit out of her for pleasure. You know, like all loving aunts do. But, like Satou, she’s fully in control of her actions. Rather, this is a matter of one being so deluded of themselves that they believe their behavior to be healthy. AILF (aunt i’d like to fuck) even convinces herself to have a fulfilling role within society, accepting hostility and fucking it out of them. She is indeed quite over-the-top, but the long dialogues she provides make her believable enough to be enjoyable. And then there’s the lolicon guy… oh boy. This fuckin’ guy. As a result of things happening that cause him to distrust adults, he becomes so fully attached to Shio that he takes passionate inhalations of her missing poster flyers. THIS is the over-the-top character that you’d expect to see from a full edgelord show, and really, your opinion of him just depends on how much you’re into that kinda stuff. To me, this character is no more than a punchline--more like a punching bag, actually, given all the shit he goes through. A full display of maximum disparity and lack of self-control, his actions are so cartoonish and ridiculous that all he ends up doing in the series is suffering. A lot. He’s just a dumping ground for all the negative consequences brought on by the other characters. Overall, not a character to be taken seriously; he stands at the border between Happy Sugar Life being a completely serious drama and a goofy, edgy comedy. I like the mixture of both worlds. But the crowning jewel of this anime are some of the more psychologically-based scenes. For as weird and silly as the anime can be, there are scenes of actual genius scattered throughout--most notably, the first half of episode eight. It explores the backstory of Satou’s and Shio’s apartment through the eyes of its former resident. All of it is in first-person view with no music, and the resident never speaks. Instead, their moments of “dialogue” are replaced with a glitchy audio clip over a fluctuating black line. The pauses before these clips make noise and their varying intensity fill in the blanks of Satou’s conversations perfectly. It’s a tremendously well-done scene that I would recommend to anyone, even if you haven't seen the rest of the anime. Sound manipulation is a motif in this series; characters’ voices will become static-y and distorted in key moments to intensify their dark expressions. Several different visual tricks are used for similar reasons--glowing eyes, static, reflections, scratchy lines, lighting, shadows, tactful shot compositions and other things are all deployed for the show’s depraved, depressing and dark moods without overdoing any of them. Meanwhile, happier moments are shown with sparkles, bubbles, clouds and bright, poppy colors; so corny that they’re almost vomit-inducing, and I mean that in the best way possible. Happy Sugar Life doesn’t necessarily excel with animation, set pieces or character designs, but the various tricks it uses to communicate its feelings are excellent. Similarly, the soundtrack doesn’t particularly stand out, but the sound design is quite good, I’ll say again. Rising violins, static, vocal manipulation and prestigious voice acting get the job more than done. The OP is one of my favorites of the entire year, using a song perfectly toned to this anime with its siren-like guitar riffs and optimistic, upbeat tone, shifting in and out of muttered, paranoid passages. Bizarre, photographed objects float about in the background; a Shio-like angel flies over shadowy figures of the characters, and various trappings by glass jars and thorns lay over Satou as the video glitches with inconsistent timing. It’s easy to see what’s going on in the OP based on a few episodes of the show itself, but it’s communicated in so many incredible ways that the OP never got skipped. The ED is good… for an ED, that is, which is to say not much, but the animation of Satou and Shio is cute, and the song itself is quite touching. If you’ve read my reviews before, you know that I’m completely and 100% serious in all of my reviews, and I never make any jokes whatsoever, so when I say this is a 9/10 anime, I mean that it should be watched by all eyes, no matter what. Now, if you’ve ACTUALLY read my reviews before, you’d know I like to play around, that I don’t really care about ratings, that I’m not all that interested in seeing a fully-serious, masterfully-crafted story. But with its combination of surprise turnarounds, smart directing and just the right amount of silliness, I’d truly say that Happy Sugar Life is a quality anime; not just by my standards, but for drama and psychological anime as a whole. Indeed, it is not perfect--some people will be unhappy with some of the characters or not be willing to see how the anime fixes itself down the line. In fact, I myself have room to complain about the teacher not having any real exploration to his character, as well as some scenes that simply would not happen in the real world, such as Satou's Aunt seducing the police officer, as good as it was. A lot of it is conveniently written. The characters aren’t particularly deep and more idealized than realized. But, overall, Happy Sugar Life is FUN. It is an exciting series that takes little time to light its first match, and once it gets going it doesn’t let up until it has burned everything down. I dearly recommend this anime to anyone who’s into not just edgy comedies, but anyone who’s interested in a kinda wacky psychological drama that even manages to unnerve you a little bit. Perhaps it is not the most effective at what it is, but it is, nonetheless, effective. Story - 8/10 Art - 8/10 Sound - 8/10 Characters - 7/10 Enjoyment - 9/10 Yandere - 10/10 Overall - 9/10 Favorite episode - 8 Favorite character - Satou. Or her Aunt. Depends on how I’m feeling or how horny I am I guess. Pretend I didn’t type that out. Recommendation level - Medium-high read more
Jashin-chan Dropkick is about a naked snek-girl who’s trying to kill and adorable goth loli. She fails and gets horrifically brutalized by chainsaws and knives and iron maidens and moe snow creatures and other similarly terrifying weapons. If that doesn’t sound fun to you then turn 360 degrees and moonwalk away, because that’s about half the show. I’m the type that enjoys ridiculous, over-the-top violence. While No Dropkick on Snek doesn’t contain any real detail with its violence, the implication is good enough to sell it. Particularly because the one inflicting such violence is doing it with an evil grin on her cute face, because Snake-chan is a fucked up individual who actually deserves it, and because the animation is actually quite good for this type of anime. But I feel like enjoying this or not depends on the individual viewer. You either get it or you don’t. I looked at this anime before it started and thought “this sounds fucking hilarious”, watched the first episode, and thought it was fucking hilarious. No deep reasoning behind it, really, I just like the use of violence as a joke. So now, all I really have to do is clarify a couple of things. First off, there’s no story in this anime; you probably could’ve guessed that, but there’s not even context as to why anything is happening in this anime. The first episode offers no introductions, but I thought this was clever. In a dumb gag series, I’m not expecting particularly detailed characters in the first place, especially in a series like this that uses religious references as jokes. Jashin-chan is a devil, so she acts like a cunt all the time. That is her character. Everyone else could be summed up in equally short statements; a quick glance at how each character acts is enough to determine all that they are. The lone exception is Urine (oh dear, what an unfortunate name indeed), who’s the only human of the series, as far as major characters go. But her enigmatic character acts as a landing pad for many of the series’ jokes, in terms of violence and fourth wall breaks. Urine’s character doesn’t have any particular set of rules, which means that her actions and dialogue have fewer limits, which is why it’s funny for her to get a chainsaw out of thin air. Moreover, backstories have a tendency to drag out too long and waste time from the real draw of the anime. The point is that Jashin and Urine have to kill each other; the fact that there’s a cowgirl and a stoner chick make little difference to that. Those characters are already distractions. How they got here doesn’t matter, what matters is that they’re here. Like I said, “Quick and to the Pointless”. This anime doesn’t have much of a point to begin with; it’s all shenanigans. A meme anime, if you will. It exists so that you can put it on whenever you feel like distracting yourself from whatever bullshit you’ve got going on in your life, or perhaps after a really dramatic, intense episode of another seasonal on your list, like Asobi Asobase. Which would bring me into the other thing to defend: repetition. I can’t say that this anime is repetitive, but I also can’t say that it’s not repetitive. Probably because that doesn’t affect me too much when I’m watching anime weekly, and you should also take this in small doses. If you try downing too much of it at once, you’re just gonna hate the taste of it pretty quickly. Jashin plotting and executing the murder of Urine, only to get dunked on in two seconds is a large part of the anime. Another large part is Jashin being an asshole to someone else, causing Urine to violently execute her. Fortunately, it manages to safely pad itself out with some other characters. They’re one-note, but good enough to pass the time. I would complain that there were a few too many scenes of Pekola, as the joke of her character runs thin pretty quickly. Meanwhile, there’s very, very little exploration with Minos, who I thought was a lot more fun with her quirky, but not super exaggerated personality. She feels like the most normal character of the anime, despite qualifying as a devil. But she’s also so normal that she doesn’t really leave an impression. But, even if all the character are one-note, they have a witty enough chemistry to keep the laughing gas flowing. I wasn’t bored at any point. To better present itself, Jashin-chan Dropkick has a surprisingly high level of animation. Not only does character movement look good in and of itself, but the character designs are memorable and the anime has a rather colorful, fun look to it. They likely managed to maintain this quality by shifting into lesser-detailed styles where characters look a little more simple; but note that I’m not saying this is lower quality. They manage to toy with the fine details without making it look jarring. Everything is as good as it needs to be, most of it is even better. But despite all of that, the funniest joke of the whole series is that fucking OST with the shitty recorder. It’s so (intentionally) godawful that I burst out laughing every single time. Overall, Jashin-chan Dropkick could stand the test of time as a solid slapstick anime--perhaps its ridiculous, bloody violence makes it more of a niche pick than others, but I had a good time with it. The show delivered what I wanted, and coming back to it every week was never a struggle. I don’t have a whole lot to say as its appeal is simple, but I have even less to complain about. Story: 7/10 Art: 9/10 Sound: 8/10 Character: 8/10 Enjoyment: 9/10 Overall: 7.75/10 (Range: 7.0-8.25) read more
If you’re ever unsure about watching something because it’s unpopular and has a low MAL score, here’s my suggestion: you should take one of your hands and quickly slap yourself in the face with it. Repeat this action until you have it burned into you that this is not a good way to judge anime. But, skepticism is always welcome, so if you’re just here to gauge opinions, here’s one: Last Period is one of the best anime of the season, as someone who tends to be a pretty big fan of comedies. I even thought Aho-Girl was funny, but maybe that was just me relating to cataclysmic autism. If you’re one of the many who love KonoSuba, or one of the few who watched Mahoujin Guru-Guru, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t like this one too. Is it as good as either of them? In ways, no, but that’s not exactly the point. The point is, it’s very much like those anime: a comedic adventure with lots of RPG elements, weird and quirky side characters, and the occasional meta joke. Last Period has more of an emphasis on meta jokes. One of the main characters, Choco, is acutely aware of being in a late-night TV anime that probably sucks dick according to normal standards, and takes pot shots at it with no mercy. (“Cramming money jokes into a guy’s dialogue is lazy writing.”) She is literally referred to as “Meme Girl” by one of the other characters at one point. Lots of it is clearly obvious for the sake of the anime being more fun, but there are some more subtle jokes as well, such as gachas being complete bullshit. Also, the Higurashi characters make a cameo. No, really. It’s clearly an anime that just wants to have fun with itself and doesn’t really try to impress with any sort of plot or character development. And that’s completely fine, because it comes with a lot of heart. There’s a Team Rocket knockoff called Wiseman: a trio of girls with a talking mascot, who questionably serve as the recurring villains of the series. They show up, cause some hijinks, and suddenly leave without really doing anything. There’s not much of an explanation or reason for them to exist, but there’s something genuine and nice about how playful their personalities are--even if you can combine them all as one character (which is kinda the point). I can’t exactly sell you the character of Wiseman in the form of a written review; in fact, I can’t really sell any character in this anime because none of them have particularly strong personalities by themselves--with the exception of Choco, whose presence is almost always some sort of oddity due to her constant deadpan look and repeated memespouting. That doesn’t mean they’re bad characters, because they work perfectly well in this series. What they lack in development, they make up for in charisma. They bounce dialogue off each other well, everyone has their own quick, witty comments to make; they don’t feel awkward or dull despite their lack of depth, which is why I say they work for the anime itself. It also helps that the character designs are super strong--like, good god does this anime have some gorgeous women. It’s about an average J.C. Staff production, so it’s not spectacular, but they maintain a respectable level of quality. Said character designs remain crisp and well-made, similar to Amanchu and also Shokugeki before it turned into a grade school powerpoint. It also features some pretty cute monsters that look like Pokemon. Also the anime has music and voice acting so 7/10 sound please click helpful on my review. The ED is really, really good though because Wiseman sings (sing?) it and the one with the glasses is hotter than two fire ants fucking in a desert. IDK where I was going with this paragraph or this review because I fell asleep while writing it and don’t care anymore but it needs to be posted because I saw that Last Period was getting shit on for no reason and felt the need to give my objectively subjective opinion on why everyone but me is wrong. It’s a good show. Story - 7/10 Animation 7/10 Sound - 7/10 Character - 7/10 Enjoyment - 9/10 Memes - Unyu/10 Overall - 7.75/10 (Range: 7.0 - 8.75) Favorite character - Meme Girl Favorite episode - idk, that one with the smartphone was some real Twilight Zone shit tho Recommendation level - Medium-high read more
A more accurate term to describe this anime would be “campy”, but fucking nobody uses that term so I’m not gonna bother. This anime has knives so therefore it is edgy ha ha ha never saw that joke coming did you. You may be thinking that this is a matter of “turning your brain off” to enjoy something--ignoring the flaws to indulge in the positives. This is also false. I don’t believe in such a concept. In fact, I present the opposite: you should keep an open mind and keep your brain turned on to understand why a creator would make such a thing in such a way. “Mahou Site is sooooo edgy!!! It’s just a bunch of shock value!!!” Wow, it’s almost like that was the fucking point or something. Some people like edgy schlock like this. Why? Who knows. Maybe I’m just some sick fuck looking to get off. Or maybe it’s because I don’t always need a compelling narrative to pick my brain. Look, I’m mentally challenged enough. I don’t need my damn cartoons to enforce that. Sometimes, I like to keep it nice and simple. There are girls in this anime, and they get hurt a lot. It’s not real, so I don’t need to take it seriously. And that’s about it. At no point did I ever get the impression that Mahou Site was supposed to be taken seriously. It wasn’t even trying to take itself seriously half the time, and I can explain this just by looking at the first episode. Asagiri, the main character, thinks about throwing herself in front of an oncoming train, but hesitates at the last minute. As she sits on the ground in her despair, office men on their way to work mutter to themselves how it’s too early in the day to deal with this kind of bullshit, that they were slightly inconvenienced by her attempted suicide. This is the best thing that happens to her on this day. She goes to school and gets thrashed around by some bullies. Then she goes home and gets thrashed around by her brother. Her only salvation is taking care of a stray cat, which the bullies kill on the next day, right before they send in a JoJo character to come rape her. So, in fifteen minutes, we’ve already covered suicide, bullying, rape, animal murder, and domestic abuse. Some would tell you this is all an act to make you pity the main character, and while you’re free to do that, I don’t feel that any attempt was made at making Asagiri a likable character, and here’s why: Aya Asagiri is not a character at all. You see her in an ordinary day, where she lives through incredible amounts of horrifying things, but at no point do you ever get a sense of who this person really is. Her entire character is defined by the things that happen to her. And, at the expense of making my most callous remarks to date, there is simply no logic behind her survival. She hesitates to end her life, but why? She doesn’t have anything to live for. No friends, no dreams, not even a conviction that “it gets better”. Aya Asagiri walks this fictional Earth only to suffer. Anyone who’s depressed, suicidal, victims of bullying, etc. all put up with it for some clear, emotional reason. Aya does not, which is what separates her from being an actual character you are meant to take seriously, as opposed to an avatar for projecting suffering onto. In regards to the graphic loli suffering plastered on the screen, it’s all there just for you to gawk at. Maybe you have some weird fetish, or this kind of thing is just amusing you. You do you. Personally, I find it funny. Mahou Site is cute. It’s a level of edge that comes around to being endearing, because it passes so many levels of believability. Even disregarding my argument about Asagiri not being a real character, the things that happen to her are so extreme that I can only see the thinnest lines of logic. Knives in her locker, that’s believable. Glue on the chair in the class, that’s believable--the recent season of 3-gatsu kinda covered that. But setting up a rape in the back room and watching it? Look, I’ve already proven that I’m not the greatest person, but this is crossing a few lines of sanity here. Not to mention that the older brother beats the shit out of Asagiri right in her bedroom. What the hell kind of soundproofing did they do to their house to keep the parents from not hearing all of the screaming and gasping and thumping? I just moved into a new basement with a thin roof, so it’s very creaky and I can hear everyone talking and having sex, so I’d like to get in on this. Shit, I’m already 900 words into this review for a website I don’t even like using and I still haven’t even scratched the surface of how silly this anime is. How about the fact that one of the magical girls is some fuckin’ bizarre fetish idol group that wears dog costumes and calls their fans their “masters”? Or the magical girl that has some weird, old-ass, masochistic butler who praises her existence so much that he lives to be stepped on? How about the scene where the brother… you know what, no. I can’t spoil that episode. It’s too good to be sullied by this review. All that I’m trying to say is that Mahou Site is fucking wacky. And if you have a problem with that, then that lies with you alone. If you’re disappointed that this author isn’t making high art, that’s fine. And although I can’t speak on behalf of this person, I don’t believe they were trying to make high art in the first place. To dismiss Mahou Site as worthless simply because it is not to your standard is not a weakness of the anime or the creators, it’s a weakness of your own for not being able to accept things outside of your comfort zone. Look, I’m not trying to sound pretentious. I’m not perfect. I dropped Tada-kun after one episode because it bored me to tears. I don’t like anime that have natural characters in a natural setting, and they don’t do anything in particular, but it’s a romance because of course it is. There’s no real reason for that, I just don’t like them. But, I never got the impression that Tada-kun was a bad anime. It was just an anime that wasn’t for me. If you wanna see something from Spring 2018 that’s super edgy and DOES try taking itself seriously, go look at Devils Line. However, I won't go into detail about that because this is a review for Mahou Shoujo Site and not Devils Line. You can ask me about it if you want. That’s all I have left to say on the matter. If you're interested in the story itself, it's not much on paper. Girls get magical items called Sticks, and they use them to do things, and they have to prevent some sort of doomsday. Some people, aka dumbasses, will tell you that this is a Madoka ripoff, but it's really not a unique formula to begin with, as many action series, anime or otherwise, have some sort of doomsday plot. Overall, I don't really have anything to say about the story itself because it's not anything special, but the way it's told is very fun, and that's what's most important. Now, all this being said, does this mean I have no complaints about Mahou Site? Not true at all. It could’ve been better in a lot of ways. As much as I’ve said that the anime shouldn’t be taken seriously, there were admittedly some moments where scenes get heavier and more emotional, and it doesn’t pay off too well as they not only drag on for too long, but the characters aren’t engaging enough to get behind. I also would’ve preferred more action in this series, since it involves a bunch of magical weapons and abilities. While there are a few big, key fights to be seen, the anime plays more like a drama than an action thriller. I suppose this could be more of a preference, because both elements blended together fairly well, but it should be kept in mind that it’s not super action-heavy. Moreover, Asagiri develops into a character that’s just annoying and even more non-sensical than when she had no personality. Hearing her try to plead with others to not harm the ones who’ve caused her grief is just strange and unsatisfying. I was hoping she would have some super badass moment where the gloves come off and she unleashes a rage that reciprocates all of the wrong that’s been done to her in the past, but instead she insists on playing the good girl. It’s boring. People don’t like Guts because he had a shit life. People like Guts because his shit life hardened him into a living badass, so you know that when goes into battle, he does NOT fuck around. Fortunately, the other characters manage to pick up the slack. They’re not amazing, but they’re enjoyable enough to keep the show on its feet. Yatsumura works great as the #2 of the show, and the side characters are about as weird as they come. I already mentioned the fetish idol, but I didn’t mention the girl who felt the need to state that she had big tits like four times in one episode, or the girl whose Magical Girl weapon is a knife that cuts herself to heal others, and that she’s okay with it because she was “already practicing self-harm.” But the real star of the show is the bad boi Onii-chan, whose personality is so off-the-rails that you could tell the author wrote him with a smile on their face. It helps a lot that star actor Nobuhiko Okamoto delivers him with tons of conviction. And I’ll say it again: this character has the greatest scene in recent years. The soundtrack had no notable pieces, but the voice acting was good all-around. I already praised Okamoto, and I’ll do it again because he was great. Newcomer Yuko Ono does a solid job as Asagiri, nailing the despairing moments well along with having a wispy, wimpey voice without sounding like a dying mouse. Yuu Serizawa also delivers with the character of Nijimin, who has some rather severe shifts in tone that happen quickly, and both sides are done well. The OP grew on me a bit--it’s not much more than a standard rock tune with a bit of an edgy streak to it, but it gets the job done. Same with the ED, but less so. Rather, they are carried with their visual presentation--the OP has a cool camera effect that looks like it’s being played through a broken screen or lens. The ED is……… uh, it’s something. Something about two girls doing a live-action dance on a school rooftop while a bunch of sperm cells float around in the background. Yeah, I dunno. Art and animation--ugh, can I go now? I just wanted to dunk on people who were talking shit about me liking this anime because apparently edgy = bad or some stupid bullshit. Look, I’ll just leave this 7/10 score right here, and that should tell you the art is good but not amazing. Alright? Alright, kids, what have we learned today? We learned that watching violent cartoons is okay, there’s no such thing as turning your brain off, and that if you have no personality then you should kill yourself. Alright, cool. Leave me alone now. Story - 8/10 Art - 7/10 Sound - 5/10 Character - 6/10 Enjoyment - 8/10 Edge - 9/10 Overall - 7/10 Favorite episode - 8 Favorite character - ONII-CHAN Recommendation level - Medium-high read more
Friends, welcome. On the third season, The Order has risen once again to free us from our eternal struggle. In an industry that rarely takes risks, Hand Shakers stands above all others to become the most daring, most challenging, and most breathtaking anime ever created. When Gen Urobuchi broke out in the 90’s with the release of Neon Genesis Evangeliation, the anime community was both equally fascinated and outraged at its unique story and characters. Hand Shakers pushes the envelope much further, challenging the community, the industry, and the entire world. The mere concept of Hand Shakers is the most gruesome, most outrageous, most difficult scenario of all time: A young boy must constantly hold hands with a girl who looks to be half his age. SCANDALOUS! Sex is often a highly taboo and controversial subject. Today, society holds intense debates over the censorship of breasts and buttocks and shoulder blades day in and day out. Hand Shakers puts the most graphic and intimate of sexual actions, hand holding, on full display for the world to gaze their nervous eyes upon. And with a minor, no less! Indeed, the young Inori Yuzuriha, despite her young appearance, is at the forefront of this gratifying imagery. I’m actually amazed she wasn’t impregnated at any point, given that she and Tarzan held hands for almost every minute of the series. Oh, but don’t think that’s all. Hand Shakers brings about many more dazzling images of sexuality. In fact, the entire anime is a commentary about different sexual tendencies that are widely controversial, but it irrefutably proves how they are beneficial to our society and should be more widely accepted. Let’s look in detail about each pair of characters. The first pair of Hand Shakers (the names granted to these brave warriors) are none other than the studio Silver Link, as the acts of bondage portrayed are a callback to the greatest Twilight movie of all time, Fifty Shades of Gray. As silver is a shade of gray and chains are also known as links, it was a cleverly well-placed casting by Mr. GoHands. Furthermore, the actors representing these characters are both high-level veterans respected by many peers and fans alike, showing how serious this anime is on its views. People might look at bondage with fear and disgust, as it does look rather intimidating on the surface. However, as this anime pleasantly shows, pain can also bring about pleasure when delivered properly, and both characters in this couple take great delight in this act. They set a great example for BDSM relationships and should be taken seriously. The second pair is where Hand Shakers announces its strongest, most passionate stance on the legalization of pedophilia. This couple is nothing more than a grown man with a young girl. Although I disagree with the anime’s opinion, I must respect that it is very brave of them to portray this kind of sexual relationship, especially one as realistic as it is. The young girl often remarks about how mature and grown-up she is because she’s a Hand Shaker; she has a life partner and a good job and even dresses in a professional manner. But this setup often comes off as a joke to people because they don’t take it seriously. It’s unfortunate that the clear message of children being capable of acting as mature and responsible individuals has fallen on deaf ears, but once again I respect Hand Shakers for not only addressing this issue, but tying in the response to its controversial nature into the narrative. The third pair of Hand Shakers represent another highly controversial and heavily debated topic: incest. This pair is with a brother and a sister, the sister designed with a luscious, curvy body to entice viewers and persuade them to join this movement to decriminalize sex between family members. After all, incest is wincest. This relationship is even sponsored by the popular trading card game, Weiss Schwartz, further proving that even big names are willing to make a much-needed change to our society. It also helps that this is the most realistic, mature, and down-to-earth pair of characters since the brother and sister of the hit 2016 anime, Big Order. But again, the community is too immature to see these characters for who they really are. Instead, they want to complain about completely trivial matters, such as the sister’s breasts moving “unnaturally”, as if they haven’t seem someone’s chest wobble like it’s getting sucked into a fucking tornado whenever they listen to twenty one pilots on their iPhones. You’re all dumbasses. ...whoops, pardon my language. I am only frustrated. I just want to tell the world how incredible this anime is, and all of the themes it represents. Anyway, let’s move on. The fourth pair of Hand Shakers is actually rather difficult to figure out, as the themes are just too complex for the average person to understand. Fortunately, having seen over 20 animes, I am of superior intelligence, which is why I’m presenting this post to counteract the negativity surrounding this amazing title, and it is my duty to decipher it. Here we have an older, unattractive man holding hands with a young woman who happens to be an aspiring idol. Instead of focusing on one theme, I believe this pair represents many ideas. First, the appearance of the man contrasting with the beautiful idol girl signify that even the most unassuming of people can find the partner that is right for them, or that appearance has no factor in love. It could merely be a good representation of two people not sexually attracted to one another, but are willing to hold hands because they see something in them that can’t be seen in their physical appearance. Number second, this relationship is particularly business-like, as the older man represents the idol as her manager. It shows how sex can tie into the workplace and be beneficial for at least one of them, and that’s all that matters. Furthermore, the mainstream pop industry has been notorious for displaying many singers and performers in a sexual manner, such as Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, and Death Grips. However, the idol industry in Japan is much more repressed, which makes this relationship in Hand Shakers a very big deal. We must join hands and break these invisible walls that bound society in its currently soulless state. Finally, the last pair of Hand Shakers is the most fascinating, but be warned, this is a spoiler. This final pair is none other than a copy of our main characters, Tarzan and Inori. Granted, the two people are different, and only the girl looks similar to Inori, but the theme of this relationship is the same. It’s also portraying ephebophilia, which is very different from pedophilia, and the confusion of these terms has caused many problems in our society. For further information, please see the thoughtful analytical piece of B Kata H Kei by Mumkey Jones. I haven’t spoken about the main pair of Hand Shakers, because it all speaks for itself. The two meet each other and start holding hands for fun, but they do it so often that they become inseparable lovers, proving that sex is a truly beautiful thing that brings friends and family together and makes the world a better place. It’s a touching and emotional narrative that squeezed many tears from my eyes. In Hand Shakers, the intimate act of hand holding grants both partners a great power, with which they use to fight with other Hand Shakers to show whose sexual desire is stronger. While I wish the world to be a calm place where everyone can hold hands in peace, this is a piece of entertainment after all, so I must admit that I love a good fight. And what good fights this series holds! Every power is tremendously creative and unique and allows for the users to activate different techniques as their intelligence may command. While Niconico Araki, known for his work in the classic series Stand Alone Complex, has often been regarded as a genius for his creative shounen battles, Hand Shakers might have outdone him once and for all, for the clashes in this anime are breathtaking, such as the clashes between chains and a big fuck-off sword, card games and a big fuck-off sword, and an idol girl and a big fuck-off sword. The possibilities are endless! And what meshes all thisl together is the immaculate presentation of the anime. GoHands have truly crafted a masterpiece that will stand the test of time. Last year brought in multiple anime that sought out the promises of CG; anime such as Bubuki Buranki, Ajin, and Berserk 2016. Hand Shakers surpasses these titles--no, it surpasses all anime for its visual prowess. Every surface in the world is a mirror, reflecting the clouds in the sky that move at breakneck speed because this anime takes place in a very windy city, which is precisely why Lily’s large bamboozlers wiggle and shake rapidly, even indoors. Characters have hair made out of stained glass, allowing a unique color pallet with a diverse level of shading, and the designs of each character perfectly match the theme they represent. The animation is nothing short of stellar; the 2D and 3D animation come together so well that they move at two entirely different framerates, creating two unique and interesting flavors that satisfy fans of both traditional and CG animation. The backgrounds, objects, and effects generated from computer animation are so realistic and lifelike that I have a hard time deciding whether they were actually animated, or if the chains and flames, for example, were literally placed above the recorded frames to give a full sense of realism. It looks so natural! I’ve never seen CG used in more brilliant ways before, although I’m greatly anticipating the upcoming Berserk 2016 2017 to break new ground with a clang. Either way, the ambition displayed in Hand Shakers cannot be ignored nor disrespected, especially when considering the messages of the narrative it represents. The hand-drawn animation holds its own to that of Bones, Trigger, and Funimation. Even with incredible camera movement that twists and turns smoothly and miraculously, the highly-stylized characters manage to stay on model at every single moment. Every frame of movement is perfect and lifelike, as if you’re watching real people act through the motions. And, fret not, the hand holding itself is drawn perfectly. My heart goes out to all the animators working slave wages and not getting enough sleep for all their hard work. Finally, we must talk about the intricate soundscapes that bring about the atmosphere of each scene, as they were good enough to distract me from the voices in my head that tell me to do questionable things to people with spoons and strawberry jam. Hand Shakers continues to innovate, as each piece of the soundtrack is a different tune taken from the top elevator music composers around the world. Not only that, but each track loops over and over again, creating a tone found in visual novels, blending Hand Shakers with even more genres. The opening theme is sung by Masayoshi Oishi, and bless his heart for singing as well as he did despite having a cold, which is why you can hear him cough at the beginning of the song. Many singers should aspire to work as hard as him. The ending theme is sung by Akino Arai, and its soothing composition can lull anyone into a sleep, so that they may dream of a better world of hand-holding. The speakings are consistent with every other part of the anime: absolutely perfect. Inori’s two lines of dialogue and her 815 lines of “hm” are delivered with aplomb. No other actress could possibly have fulfilled the role better than Sumire Morohoshi. Likewise, Bind’s 59 instances of “ahhhh!” are handled excellently by Mio Akiyama. There’s nothing else to say other than that every actor and actress was phenomenal and I would like them to read me a bedtime story, because the voices in my head don’t know how to read, unfortunately. With this review, I hope you have learned the valuable narrative aspects that are explored within the anime Hand Shakers, as many people have misunderstood the intentions of this amazing series and have given it an unfairly low score. While it may appear to be a simple anime featuring beautiful characters, incredible artwork, and great action pieces, it carries many mature and interesting themes of sexuality that must be heard. Hand Shakers is nothing short of a breakthrough for the anime industry, and therefore the entire world, a breakthrough that will likely bring a great change in how laws affect censorship and restrictions on sexual activities. And so, my friends, I must go. Do tell your friends and family the good word of Hand Shakers. Spread it across your school, your church, your swamp, your office! Follow the example set by this anime: spread the word loud and clear! It’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, and it must be seen by all! You, too, can make America great again. I cannot write any further, for I must do my part and travel the seven seas and sing to humanity the praises of this glorious anime. If you need me… simply reach out your hand, and I shall come to hold it. read more
This review is honest, but purposefully exaggerated so that it may be entertaining to some people, much like the anime itself except I believe myself to be halfway amusing. It also contains bad words like “fuck” and “dick” and “kittens”, so to all children who can’t handle a few motherfucking swears, avert your goddamn eyes!! Let’s talk about the concept of Masamune-kun for a moment, and why I was immediately nervous about where the anime would go. The plot has a clear ending that it is working toward: Makabe Masamune will get revenge on Adagaki Aki in a most grandiose and satisfying way. But you can’t just have a good ending; otherwise the audience would just skip to the last episode to see how it plays out. You need to somehow make the ending satisfying, but also balance the rest of the story so that the build-up is worth it as well. And here’s where those spoilers really kick in. Masamune-kun has neither a good build-up, nor the ending it promises. In fact, it has no ending at all. The final episode is a fucking karaoke party. Why the fuck did they even make this? I feel like a complete idiot for subjugating myself to watching every minute of this mumbo jumbo, which was admittedly okay and non-offensive for several episodes, but after a while it feels like even the writer didn’t know how the revenge was gonna work, so they started making excuses for some weeks or years or however long you’ve been experiencing this series. Oh god, could you imagine a second season of this? This is not any sort of narrative that requires more than twelve episodes to develop. It initially appears as a typical romcom, but with a twist ending and nothing more. The presence of a sequel would immediately imply that the ending is prolonged longer than necessary, like a really awkward handshake. Not like Hand Shakers tho. That anime was flawless in every aspect. Yes, yes “it’s about the journey” whatever, except the actual journey towards the non-existent climax is about as fruitful as an average expedition in The Oregon Trail. Masamune, being a charming young lad, simply oozes with swagger and sex appeal. Yes, this little piggy got /fit/, and now every teenage girl within a five-mile radius wants to bang him. But instead, Masamune would rather reject these fine 2D women and chase after the dumb ugly bitch so he can end up rejecting her too. You know, even though chasing after one girl for your entire high school life is probably the worst thing you can do as a high schooler, I can respect Masamune for being so determined to work towards his goal. You know, IF THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. And while you sit back and watch Masamune make irritating decisions, Masamune-kun will do its damndest to make you laugh. If you love WITTY ANIME HUMOR then this is about as much WITTY ANIME HUMOR as you could possibly need. Characters overreact because their actual personalities can’t carry the scene, people often compare scenarios to those seen in anime and manga, and the main character comments on so many things in his head that the Fine Bros would’ve sued Silver Link a year ago. No, I’m not saying you should feel bad for finding these things funny. I’m just saying that I didn’t. Masamune-kun doesn’t have any strong nor original jokes, and the only thing I can say about its general style of comedy is that it’s “very anime”. The ONE joke I actually laughed at is Masamune’s mom looking like a five-year-old girl, because it's so weird and illogical and out there that I just kinda like it. Doctors HATE her! That’s really what I could say about Masamune-kun in general, it’s “very anime”: A decent but not particularly unhealthy dose of “underage” partial nudity, the leading female as a high-and-mighty bitch quee--I mean tsundere, an oblivious main character, and a high school containing all the silliness. Masamune-kun never sets out to break the mold or add anything new, although a twist ending would’ve been nice. Maybe at the end of the series, Masamune could’ve said “ha, PRANK’D” and dunked Adagaki Aki into a shark tank as his way of getting revenge. You know. Just a suggestion. Any sort of revenge plot would’ve been nice to see. But anyway, Masamune-kun just wants to be a plain high school rom-com. And you know what? I’m okay with that. For most of the season, Masamune-kun failed to evoke a single reaction from me. Nope, not one. I watched episode after episode week after week and didn’t crack a smile, didn’t have any particular thoughts, didn’t twitch an eyebrow, didn’t slit my wrists, nothing. It was a perfectly acceptable five out of ten, and if it sounds negative, it's actually something that I am 100% okay with. But then something happened later. Now, the lack of delivery on Masamune-kun’s part is bad enough. Since I keep mentioning it, I really don’t like the fact that it doesn’t bring about the ending it promises. But before that cuckening even ignites, we get this abysmal “final” arc where an actual antagonist is brought in. No, the antagonist is not Adagaki Aki, it’s just a random kid who looks like Masamune when he was fat, and he’s to take Adagaki Aki’s hand in marriage as some sort of business arrangement or something. So, this kid is an obstacle for Masamune to tackle so he can not get his revenge. The problem is that I’m expected to believe this is a bad thing. I don’t care about Masamune. He’s not an interesting character. I like the fact that he was a fat kid who ended up getting buff, and uhhhhhhhhhh, yep that’s pretty much it. Beyond this, he’s just a high school protagonist who gets a small harem that’s still big enough to include a trap, because that’s WITTY ANIME HUMOR. I don’t care about his revenge plot either. Yeah, I would kinda like to see it, but I also see it as something worth giving up. Masamune has almost nothing to lose by not getting his revenge; all that happens as a result is that he’ll feel a little bested by that one prick from his childhood--who the hell cares, anyway? Just leave that shit in the past--if you want, you can aggressively bang one of the eighteen billion other girls in school and think of Badagaki the whole time. I’d watch that hentai. Or anime. Or cartoon. Or attack helicopter. Whatever the community is arguing about. Hey, isn’t that what that shitstorm Scum’s Wish is doing, anyway? Yet, despite these things, Masamune-kun thinks I do actually care about Masamune’s endgame, ‘cuz he’s the main character and all. So this lookalike dude is apparently a bad thing. And to that, I say… Fuck you. Masamune-kun actually made me angry at this point of the story, because this abominable terrorist is a nice kid who just wants to do the right thing. He’s sucked into the marriage just like Whaki is, but his intentions are angelically good. He even approaches Adagaki’s friends in private to clear up any misconceptions they have, because he truly respects his to-be bride. What’s the problem? Yeah, Adagaki Aki is an obnoxious bitch who deserves to trip and fall into a vat of rotten donkey milk. But you know what they say: bitches ain’t shit. Why do we gotta worry about them so much? Just let them go. She might’ve embarrassed a few people in brutal ways (even though they were all basically fedora tippers so they got what they deserved), but it’s not like she throws rocks at kittens and steps on fennec foxes in her free time. She’s not so horrible that she NEEDS a taste of her own shit. I’m just baffled at how completely pointless Masamune-kun’s Revenge is. Really, all it needed to do was set up this grand revenge, but instead it insisted on taking this weird detour so that it could evolve the romance. Give me a break. I didn’t want to see that in the first place. Not just because I’m expecting a revenge plot, but also because I don’t like these two characters, and seeing them form a relationship isn’t satisfying. In fact, Adagaki Aki is meant to be unlikable, so why would I want the main character to date her? She’s supposed to be the villain, but then at the last minute they throw in this secret side of her that actually found fat Masamune to be attractive?? What???? All of the sudden the revenge plot is gone, so now she needs to be presented as likable. Ten episodes is a bit too late to change my mind on someone’s personality. It’s also too late to rewrite the entire show. Man, I thought I avoided the new Rewrite this season. The other thing about Adagaki Aki that strikes me as odd is how she’s supposed to be the most beautiful and magnificent creature in the entire world; that world being the high school. They demonstrate this by showing people I don’t care about saying that she’s beautiful. Adagaki Aki in the flesh has a fairly tall and slender figure with a sharp face and uh… oh yeah, NOTHING. Remember, this is the most beautiful girl in the entire school, according to literally everybody in the school. So the anime then dumps all of the jiggle physics and panty shots onto Aki’s sidekick, a maid girl with short hair and big tits voiced by Inori Minase. Now that's some good casting. Good job, Silver Link. If this were a live-action series with actual human beings and all of their many physical flaws, these comments wouldn’t exist as Adagaki Aki could look like an actually attractive person with as few flaws as possible. But when you have an anime (or manga) where every character is painstakingly drawn to be beautiful and perfect and eye-catching to the audience, I have no idea how I’m supposed to believe that any single one of them are considered attractive in comparison to the others. I guess if you have a domination fetish, yeah, Aki’s your girl, but if you’re one of… *ahem* THOSE people… then you might prefer Mr. Boipussy~ over there with the weird yellow pluses in his or her eyes. Why is that a thing. Anyway, my point is the character designs all suck and that NotRem is the better girl because her tits are bigger. Masamune doesn’t even look muscular despite that being his entire character, but whatever. You might think that the lack of strong character designs could imply more movement, but if you believe that then you probably thought that Masamune would get his revenge, didn’t you. No, there’s not any single bit of interesting art direction or animation or anything. It takes place in a boring school with a decent dress code--the boys’ uniforms look a little unusual with the yellow and dark blue color scheme, but calling them garish would be extreme. The girls’ uniforms are equally decent at the top, but the yellow skirts are a weird combination. “shut up lux who cares” Me. Now, the soundtrack is an interesting sort of entity. For the most part, it’s obnoxiously loud and mind-shreddingly irritating, but in a way that could’ve possibly been ideal. The OST places heavy emphasis on each scene, making simple decisions more dramatic and making characters more imposing than they actually are. The bigger problem is that the art direction is completely lifeless and boring, making the grandiose soundtrack utterly pointless. If the show looked as intense and excessive as it sounds, this could've made things funnier in a way that Nichijou has mastered, but of course that wouldn't happen. I hope Silver Link gave the composer a nice participation ribbon for his effort, he deserves it. The OP and ED suck. I don’t have anything to say about them because I skipped them every episode except the first, because they’re completely boring. Too bad I couldn’t skip the entire show tho. Next. Oh wait, that’s all I need to say. Masamune-kun could’ve been a strong four to a light five, which I’m okay with, and I could’ve let it go about its business without a care in the world… but the complete lack of delivery alone brings it down to a 2, a number I use to notate something that’s SLIGHTLY watchable, because you could argue that Masamune-kun is a decent and funny rom-com even though it should be a revenge story. The non-existent ending and last few episodes just pissed me off so much that I need to let myself go and burn everything in my path. Damn you, Masamune-kun, let it be known I shall have my own revenge by posting this 2228-word review on a Western database not seen by anyone significant in the industry, for it’s currently the only platform I have to post upon! Muahahahahaha!!!! Story - 1/10 Art - 2/10 Sound - 4/10 Character - 2/10 Enjoyment - 2/10 Revenge - 0/10 Overall - 2.25/10 (Range: 1.75 - 3.0) Favorite episode - 8 Favorite character - Legal Loli Mom Recommendation level - Very low read more |
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Magia Record is not Madoka 2.0.
I feel like that really needs to be said. Despite “side story” written in the title, being a part of the Madoka franchise comes with huge expectations--expectations that Magia Record never attempts to meet. This is not a sequel to Rebellion, nor an attempt at recreating the magic (heh) of Madoka. After all, the original was practically a statement for mahou shoujo and was such a groundbreaking and well-acclaimed series, you only really get one of it per genre. This doesn’t excuse all of Magia Record’s potential faults, but I think a large wave of backlash towards it read more
[Spoiler Warning. The part I actually spoil is labeled later on, so you'll know when it happens. But I was forced to put a full spoiler warning at the top. I guess you can't be too... cautious... eh?? ...I hate this.]
“I get it. It ain’t making me laugh, but I get it.” --Meatwad (Aqua Teen Hunger Force) Although I didn’t enjoy it all that much, I respect how Tueeeeeeeeeeeeeee repeats its own themes of caution within the writing by explaining every single joke and detail of the story. Even the title itself is an act of caution: ‘Cautious Hero: The read more
Goblin Slayer makes me upset.
Not because of its content, mind you. But because THIS is what the community decided to make a whole brouhaha for, rassling endlessly about how “DAE RAPE IS BAD???” Now, I apologize, we’ll talk about the show itself in a hot minute or two. But the community discussion of Goblin Slayer really is integral to the series itself. Like an album cycle from Kanye West, public reaction is all part of the seasonal anime paradigm, after all. Even if this anime is lost to the weight of time (read: four months), it should be noted that this anime read more
It’s hard to say why exactly this is a bad movie, because, at the end of the day, I’m not really sure what this is supposed to be.
At first glance, it looks like it’s a remake (of sorts) of The Power of One, the second Pokemon movie. The title “The Power of Us” is a great mirror of that and it stars Lugia as the centerpiece. Except it’s not. This movie isn’t about Lugia, it’s about Zeraora. So if you think this new Electric-type fursona looks super cool, then this movie’s gonna be up your alley 10/10. So let’s throw all immediate comparisons out the window. read more
It’s only stupid if it doesn’t work.
Nowadays, the shows I fight to defend are highly misunderstood because their appeal is too specific, causing the general audience to flaunt their standards around like they’re supposed to mean anything. Past examples include Mahou Shoujo Site, Jashin-chan Dropkick and Hand Shakers. Yet, Happy Sugar Life is a different sort of… thing, whose plot setup is about as logically sound as riding a lawnmower during a hurricane, seemingly leaving not but a select, niche appeal for the sickos like me. A high school girl is basically holding a little girl hostage in a populated apartment complex; she hides read more
Flavor text: Quick, and to the pointless.
Jashin-chan Dropkick is about a naked snek-girl who’s trying to kill and adorable goth loli. She fails and gets horrifically brutalized by chainsaws and knives and iron maidens and moe snow creatures and other similarly terrifying weapons. If that doesn’t sound fun to you then turn 360 degrees and moonwalk away, because that’s about half the show. I’m the type that enjoys ridiculous, over-the-top violence. While No Dropkick on Snek doesn’t contain any real detail with its violence, the implication is good enough to sell it. Particularly because the one inflicting such violence is doing it with an evil grin read more
[Disclaimer: This review was originally posted on May 4, 2018, after four episodes had aired. It has been deleted and then re-uploaded so that it doesn't get buried as a preliminary. However, no major changes were made to the review, as Last Period was consistent throughout its run, so no new points needed to be made.]
If you’re ever unsure about watching something because it’s unpopular and has a low MAL score, here’s my suggestion: you should take one of your hands and quickly slap yourself in the face with it. Repeat this action until you have it burned into you that this is not a read more
The term “edgy” gets thrown around as some sort of criticism by people who like to sound smart and mature, because they engage with a medium for people half their age. Personally, I don’t use the word as a criticism, because I often enjoy edge a lot. I think there’s a level of edge that gets enjoyable, because it passes so many levels of believability that I don’t believe it was meant to be taken seriously in the first place. That’s where Mahou Shoujo Site comes in.
A more accurate term to describe this anime would be “campy”, but fucking nobody uses that term so I’m read more
Let us shake hands… with the future. The future of anime, and the future of society.
Friends, welcome. On the third season, The Order has risen once again to free us from our eternal struggle. In an industry that rarely takes risks, Hand Shakers stands above all others to become the most daring, most challenging, and most breathtaking anime ever created. When Gen Urobuchi broke out in the 90’s with the release of Neon Genesis Evangeliation, the anime community was both equally fascinated and outraged at its unique story and characters. Hand Shakers pushes the envelope much further, challenging the community, the industry, and the entire world. The read more
S.P.O.I.L.E.R.S. - Stupid Pissed Off Idiot Likes Emphatically Raging at Shit
This review is honest, but purposefully exaggerated so that it may be entertaining to some people, much like the anime itself except I believe myself to be halfway amusing. It also contains bad words like “fuck” and “dick” and “kittens”, so to all children who can’t handle a few motherfucking swears, avert your goddamn eyes!! Let’s talk about the concept of Masamune-kun for a moment, and why I was immediately nervous about where the anime would go. The plot has a clear ending that it is working toward: Makabe Masamune will get revenge on Adagaki read more |
