Has anime changed your expectations for your real life partner?

Npclucario said:
Nah, I didn't really have many expectations before and still don't. Someone who loves me for me, is accepting of my interests and weirdness and compliments my weaknesses and strengths is about all I care about.

Nurguburu said:
Anime characters are are not made to reflect how people actually look, most of the time. Anime artwork and designs are born in ideas and it's “beauty” is limited by human imagination rather than physical reality and inadequacies of human physiology, which is why they are more “perfect” than average person.

Npclucario said:

That's assuming that I end up up with someone though, I've accepted for a while that it's improbable, and that's okay.

Dulonkk said:
I actually had the opposite affect. My standards were too high because of anime, but when I started actually hanging out with girls I realized that a lot of anime promotes incel behavior high key. Not all of it though, Loid Forger is a king.

TsutanaiFuun said:
yes it has. i've lost the expectation that i'll ever get a real life partner.

SgtBateMan said:
Not exactly my ideology but just let incels ride their tidal wave.

yourpizzaguy said:
hell nah lmaoooo its anime 😭😭😭😭😭

Anjuro said:
Not really, I don't conflate anime characters with real people. However, if you're referring to the expectations of a relationship I think it's inescapable that media does in fact inform our fantasies. I don't expect my girl to jump on me as I come in, knock me down a flight of stairs with a boob tackle but maybe seeing scenes like this over and over subconsciously instills the idea that generally speaking she should probably be at least somewhat happy to see me. So I guess my point is there may be a subtle effect but whenever you see something fictional there is always an intermediate step of dialing it back down to reality before you internalize it.

nishant0 said:
No, it doesn't change my expectation, but it does affect it a bit.

sadweeblol said:


hmm. I didnt think of it in that way, but you do have a point. I think our subconscious is really powerful, and as we see concepts repeating over and over again, we tend to expect it even if we aren't aware of it. But wouldn't you say, expecting your significant other to care about you and be happy to see you is something that you had in mind about love even before starting to watch anime?

sadweeblol said:


In which way? If you dont mind me asking.

sadweeblol said:


lol. I kinda relate to that. I sometimes look over to the guys of my age and compare them to 2D pixels and prefer the pixels. Nonetheless, of course there is someone out there that will make us completely and utterly in love with them, but in the meantime, I prefer simping over pixels. (I dont know if thats what you meant by loosing your expectations of having a rl partner, so let me know :)

MatchaBlueberry said:

Gym, tattoos, listen to popular music, find what you like to do and learn how to have a conversation.

You won't be lonely after that. Will you be happy? I can't promise that. But you won't be lonely if you be like the "cool kids".

MatchaBlueberry said:


anime then

I don't know where you live but the "what do you like to do' question is essentially the "do I need you or not?" one. Anime isn't going to lead to large paychecks, it's often seeing as creepy. Like "oh this person watches cartoons.. but Japanese whaaa-". You have a very limited pool of people who will like you and it only decreases based on how far away you are from the mainstream image of a man and a woman. LGBTQIA+ gets a little different but not THAT much different. There are labels and stereotypes everywhere

Suryaaps said:
Nope, cause anime girls arnt real unfortunately. My expectations were pretty low to begin with because, compared to waifus, my partner won't have as good of the looks nor the personality (hope I'm wrong tho)

tchitchouan said:
If she don't dress in bikini armor, i ain't interested.

sadweeblol said:

pretty specific criteria, hope you find your real life bikini armor girlfriend lol.

Anjuro said:


I was actually considering that as I was writing my post. I don't think it's possible for me to separate at this point but it's definitely not a stretch to assume that generally speaking people would want to come home to a loving partner even without having seen it in fiction. Still, I think fiction populates your conception of possibilities, so before my idea of "coming back to a loving partner" may have only been hearing a how was your day or something or other whereas now I might also be thinking about what kind of body language is she showing me, was she expecting me? etc. A good example is the whole "itterashai ,okaeri" exchange that happens in Japanese, in my home country this isn't really a thing but seeing it in anime I can now somewhat imagine it in real life too.

sadweeblol said:


Having no expectations, in my opinion, is the best you can do in human relationships so I really agree with you in that one. At some point people will fail to satisfy the image you have placed in them, and that is not their fault, but yours for setting them up with a romanticized image of what you expected of them (and vice versa). I really respect your idea of what you expect of your partner.
Nonetheless, why would you say its improbable that someone will end up with you. From what I can see you seem a really mature, respectful, and with great taste in anime so thats a plus. I know talking to me wont change your idea over yourself but im just curious.

MatchaBlueberry said:


I always knew what I liked, I think. Way before I started watching anime, I was leaning towards the same things, I just didn't understand that well. Entertainment is like a mirror because the more you explore it, the more you understand yourself by seeing yourself on the screen. problem is when you see too much of yourself, you will likely also see faults, bad things or something that's not mainstream.

So anyway, I don't think anime interests or anything fictional is the same thing as "real life girls". Unless you're rich or unless you're the definition of a "ReAl MaN', you are not going to get access to the stuff you see in porn or anime. VERY much so if you live outside the USA and wealthy European countries. Try to tell someone in Afghanistan or Lebanon, or Kenya that you want "tanned waifu" or bunny suit, lol ( I don't).

Porn and hentai, waifus/husbandos in anime are meant to "soothe" your desires because finding someone you'll be happy with and "exploring sexuality" is very rarely going to be easy unless you're attractive, very safe and approachable, wealthy, et cetera. You can't just say "I'm this-sexual and I reject thousands and thousands of years of the way human relationships worked and the way my culture developed". It just doesn't work that way.


Also hentai and porn-manga can be very "degenerate" because Japanese people are VERY reserved and traditional. I haven't lived in Japan but from what I see, I think they are happier than Americans. So that is something to think about. Perhaps being reserved and controlling your urges, this sort of order is what makes people happier.

It's like work, I guess. Work is boring, no matter how much you like it, any work will get repetitive and eventually boring unless you are lucky to have very good environment and your favorite job, perhaps? But either way you're still "a slave" for 8-12 hours a day. But work makes us appreciate the quiet moments more. If we're free of that, we're less happy because things loose their value. So maybe being reserved is the way to healthier societies and cultures.

sadweeblol said:


wow Anjuro, you hit the nail in the head with this one, I was a bit confused with your last example but I completely agree with you. I find the "itterashai ,okaeri" exchange such a small detail but with a huge impact. Same to you, I live in a country where this kind of customs aren't common at all, so I think both of us are doomed to find that type of treatment from our future partners lol. Which anime, if by any chance you have one in mind, has changed your perspective in relationships? (it can even be non-romatic ones). Sorry if it takes you aback, but im interested in your response :)

sadweeblol said:


Completely agree with you. Sometimes I get mad or disgusted at the ideas that anime have over women and love (not all as you say (Loid is in fact king, I am in love both with him and Yor)), that will not change how I enjoy anime, but it does bother me sometimes. Its good to see though that some people can see past that and acknowledge the bad stuff anime promotes :)

Dulonkk said:


I'm gonna be honest with you, on the Internet I tend to be an asshole to people like a lot. I got permabanned from AniList due to repeated infractions (called a dude an incel, posted memes on peoples pages, shit like that nothing crazy) but I really only did like half of that stuff because I liked goofing around on the Internet and messing with people who took shit too seriously or were just weirdos. But like reading your response to me and seeing some of the other shit in this thread man, I genuinely want to thank you for replying to me. I'm glad that there's someone else out there like me who can see through some of the genuinely misogynistic and repulsive shit this medium promotes because it will sell. Your post was like the first post I've ever seen on a forum or anything that has made me go "yo I would buy this person a drink they are chill as fuck" so thanks for giving me hope in the Internet again.

IgorPsc91 said:
Some women in real life are really trash, and anime girls almost always are idealized vision of men about women, so if the guy let go for the fiction, he will be deceptionated.