| hey yall. this is a dilemna i have been having. i have been trying to figure it out. we of course live in a society where we need each other. but when does it come to the point where other people hinder an individual from doing what he/she wants to do? people do get annoyed when you aren’t of use to them. maybe this is what i fear? of upsetting people, that is. i mean, i should be responsible for the outcome regardless of if i do please them or not right? pleasing will hurt me internally. not pleasing will rock the boat, and end up hurting people. at this point it is a matter of value. do i value myself or other people? when i value other people, i start blaming and shit, blahblahblah. when it comes down to, i think it is my sense of feeling obligated. feeling obligated to please people. but i believe in the saying “you don’t owe anyone anything”. and to some degree, this is true. i believe we are sole owners of our own life, and we should be responsible for how we live it no matter the outcome. of course, context matters like in school, or at work in order to provide a service or obtain knowledge or grade. but in interpersonal relationships like family or friends, this shouldn’t be the case. sorry for rant just going through some shit :( |
p0ckyyNov 1, 2018 4:51 PM
| do what you want to do eat a cupcake buY something you want masturbate Sorry wait a month |
  ｍａｌ'ｓ ＣＹＢＥＲ ｒａｃｃｏｏｎ ＣＹＢＥＲ ｂｏｏｐ ! ｆｒｏｍ ｔｈｅ ｄｉｓｔａｎｔ ｙｅａｒ ｏｆ ２０２６ ｔｈｅＣＹＢＥＲ ｐｏｌｉｃｅ ａｒｅ ａｆｔｅｒ ｍｅ ! |
I do...do you have one? Because I really want a cupcake. |
 |
yeah but i ran out of frosting it's cool tho cuz i substituted it with mayo want some? |
ｍａｌ'ｓ ＣＹＢＥＲ ｒａｃｃｏｏｎ ＣＹＢＥＲ ｂｏｏｐ ! ｆｒｏｍ ｔｈｅ ｄｉｓｔａｎｔ ｙｅａｒ ｏｆ ２０２６ ｔｈｅＣＹＢＥＲ ｐｏｌｉｃｅ ａｒｅ ａｆｔｅｒ ｍｅ ! |
| But the question is: Why do you feel obligated to please people? Once you get to the root of it, you can draw conclusions and solve it. |
  WORK IN PROGRESS ~The frog leapt forth to my lilypad memory.~ I was indoctrinated by an inamorata rabbit, Adenomata affronted. It was the verecund, dismissed creatures That I jubilated in most. This rabbit I would nurture, At the aiguille of esse, The anneal of noblesse. ❤️ Birdie ❤️ |
YaoiMaster said: But the question is: Why do you feel obligated to please people? Once you get to the root of it, you can draw conclusions and solve it. why do i feel obligated to please people? hmm. because i want to be “good” and do “good”. but often doing these things is exhausting and prevents me from doing what i want to do. i end up resenting the person i try to do “good” for anyway. essentially, i believe i value other people’s opinion above my own. |
p0ckyy said: I understand what you mean. I want to be a psychologist, so I spend my time helping people, but then it leaves little time for my hobbies. I suppose the most important thing is to find a sense of balance here. Do not spend too much time on yourself, and do not occupy yourself with others to the extent of losing time for yourself. YaoiMaster said: But the question is: Why do you feel obligated to please people? Once you get to the root of it, you can draw conclusions and solve it. why do i feel obligated to please people? hmm. because i want to be “good” and do “good”. but often doing these things is exhausting and prevents me from doing what i want to do. i end up resenting the person i try to do “good” for anyway. |
WORK IN PROGRESS ~The frog leapt forth to my lilypad memory.~ I was indoctrinated by an inamorata rabbit, Adenomata affronted. It was the verecund, dismissed creatures That I jubilated in most. This rabbit I would nurture, At the aiguille of esse, The anneal of noblesse. ❤️ Birdie ❤️ |
| You are not tied to anything, do what you want. Value yourself and the people worth valuing. Do not complain about unimportant things, help them if you can. If you do not want to do it, give an excuse or just do not do it. Do not complicate yourself. You do not have to blame yourself for your problems. Remember that you are worth much to be stressed by the problems of others. |
| I don't think people really take care of themselves in general, honestly. |
  Crying doesn't mean you're weak. Enduring doesn't mean you're strong. |
| Start with taking some time off for yourself doing things YOU enjoy. Or perhaps start a project you've never gotten around to. Set goals for yourself and treat it like it's a job. |
 |
| Realise that you have your own problems and other people have theirs. Don't feel obligated to help people if you know you can't afford it. |
  |
p0ckyy said: YaoiMaster said: But the question is: Why do you feel obligated to please people? Once you get to the root of it, you can draw conclusions and solve it. why do i feel obligated to please people? hmm. because i want to be “good” and do “good”. but often doing these things is exhausting and prevents me from doing what i want to do. i end up resenting the person i try to do “good” for anyway. essentially, i believe i value other people’s opinion above my own. The only way to help people is to first help yourself. If you're just a husk that seeks value from others, you will never be a great person. Maybe you'll help or "save" lots or people, but you will never be content with that, so you would never truly be somebody to look up to. It sounds to me like you're a nice person that has extremely needy friends. Find someone independent. Remain supportive of them and they should be supportive of you too. You can't be afraid to say no. I used to be in a pretty toxic, needy relationship...eventually I realized it and cut her out ot my life. It took some time to reevaluate my beliefs, but i'm happy as can be now. Hope the same happens to you |
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