What is the main reason you joined MAL or other forums?

So in college I had +200 anime finished not counting ovas, movies, or multiple seasons. My paper to record it got full then I made my mal account. The forums were cool with how customizable they were, and they were the definitive chatroom for discussing anime back then. Not destroyed by monetization and sellouts.

I thought I'd enjoy Anime stuff the older I get; it turned out it doesn't work like that.

But I'll keep my fingers crossed; maybe one day they'll release some Anime that triggers my interest.

Can't say the same about Manga, since I am most definitely not going to read anything, and not just Manga (books in general don't impress me).

Old-school games? … I don't consider them old-school; it's just that I find them interesting since nothing came close after their release.

…but yes, a few games from the late 90s and a couple of them from 2008, and yes, that's the only thing when it comes to my "entertainment media".
And yes, visual novels are also not a thing for me.

I don't know about an image with many classic titles; I just bought a few when they came out (I never expected them to become "classics").

And they are not easy games (and since you've mentioned you don't like hard games a few times here on MAL), so I'm not even sure to what true classics of the 2000s you are referring.

If we're talking about this website, then I was also one of those who came here through recommendation for the list. I used to be active in other forums and on other websites before - with MAL ending up as a potential place to keep in contact. Since the other places went offline or I had given them up, I've opted to just stay here for the most part, given that it was meant to be the place where I would login regularly, either way.

Yes, you can connect online in a way that might not be as easily possible with in-person relationship, but there is a different form of distance. Unless you get serious mutual interest to see each other, talk to each other with your own voices and even meet up with each other, it feels like some form of make-belief because it means at least either party cannot trust or simply has not enough interest to actually get to know the person on the other side of the screen

There is not much you can do about people that cut off communication channels and to be honest, it's a waste of emotions to continue thinking about it

Sure, you can "act a goofball" if it makes your life easier, but can you say that any relationship gained that way is genuine and actually connecting with your inner self?

@Noboru

I don't know.

I had intimate friendships back then. They were there for me when I was having thoughts of self-harm. The convo happened in discord but we forged a bond in the forums we were all in, before we used discord.

Just their presence in a tough time helped a lot because the alternative was me thinking of harmful thoughts by myself. And that would have been bad. Looking back, I was lucky they responded right away instead of me being left alone with my own thoughts.

There is something unique about MAL, for better or worse. I think, here, the users prioritize the database or lists aspect as opposed to the social connections.

I'm not saying there are no users who value the interactions with others. But I'm guessing the userbase leans towards prioritizing the keeping track of anime thing.

Maybe it's the reason things are not aligning. I primarily join forums to interact with others. Maybe most users here have social lives. I don't. lmao

@LabMemberX Okay, then it's something else if they have successfully prevented you from self-harm. For the better or worse, I have never considered it myself and there were comparatively few times I which I've hoped to gain some sympathy and compassion, since I've learnt to keep things to myself. I'll just get more phlegmatic, apathetic, indifferent and jaded instead of relying on others to process my emotions

That doesn't seem to be the case for everyone that they would prioritize the list aspect. More like many people do want some social connections, but not necessarily any deep(er) ones

There have been some successful pairings after all, so it's definitely possible, but not really the rule

I wonder about that, because otherwise, joining in forum games or overly getting invested in conversations here would rather feel like a waste of time. This feels more like a make-belief "safe" place in which one can easily delude themselves that some strangers online would care lots about oneself

@Noboru

I am somewhat perplexed.

Maybe society in general doesn't put much importance or value in online connections? I read a little about what others think online and they said they have no trouble finding partners or friends offline.

Maybe it's a thing or concept ingrained in the culture. Or all cultures.

I also had my psychiatrist tell me he preferred offline friends to meet up with for me in the context of treatment. He looked down on online friendships. But then again, he is from the older generation.

@LabMemberX Those who have no trouble finding partners or friends offline are usually either very attractive or have managed to keep a good social circle and have good chances to get to know new people with their pastime activities

To be fair, offline friends can do more than mere online ones. The act of an actual hug is so much more soothing than simply having someone write "*hugs*" or put some hugging emoji or whatever. The online friendship can also differ in quality, which starts with whether not both sides are mutual interested in the respective other person, whether they would be up to talk via voice or even cam with each other, etc.

@Noboru

You have good points.

But I do suspect that maybe one of the obstacles to online friendships is indifference/apathy. Maybe the user is burnt out or just don't care enough.

It's a difference in values, I guess.

@LabMemberX Thanks

That's pretty much spot on. Though usually it's me who ends up getting burnt out given how much I'm initially willed to give

Sure, but you can increase the quality of online relationships both in content and in the form of communication

@Noboru

I'll take that as a good piece of advice.

Thank you for talking to me! It was a very nice conversation with you! Thanks!