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May 16, 1:57 PM
#1

Offline
Feb 2014
5136
I have issues with some things that I write being too long because I keep making an introduction to the introduction to the introduction.
For instance, this is how my mind operates:
"Hum, Lazarus seems to have a very poor structure. It could've been a movie, but rather they made it into a series where most of it's episodes are unnecessary and time wasting."

\/

"I'm aware that movie folk and TV folk have some issues to one another. Perhaps in Lazarus this was causes by someone who's more into movies, considering long-form formats as 'time-wasting', and therefore when asked to write one, made it this way because they can't imagine it any other way?"

\/

"There's logic to this when you compare it to executives views of super-hero stuff: Initially they viewed it as silly CGI fests with no plot about people using silly spandex suits. From the early-2000's to the early-2010's you saw this in the format of they making super-hero movies/shows that 'were ashamed of being super-hero media', this came in the form of things such as the FOX X-Men uniforms to the fact that early-MCU and early-CW tried to be way more 'grounded'. With time they kept adding more fantastical and Sci-Fi elements little by little, but when executives caught up that 'Oh, people really like super-heroes' they DID turn it all into ' silly CGI fests with no plot about people using silly spandex suits'."

\/

"In the context of the west, this probably comes from the same place as disdain of Sci-Fi, which Sturgeon talked about"

\/

"In the west there seem to be a difficulty in understanding that stories with fantastical/sci-fi elements aren't about those 'as ends in themselves'. This shows itself in things like the Wikipedia page for Sonny Boy having to explicitly state that 'While fantasy elements are present, the series primarily uses its setting to explore psychological themes such as identity, social expectation, freedom, and loneliness.', or the good old misconception that 'Contrary to other mecha, this one is about the characters'."

\/

"This seems to come from the fact that American media seems to be '8 or 80' (AKA, be only extreme stances, with no place for middle-grounds or nuances). This would explain the fact that things such as eroge or pinku eiga only grew and flourished in Japan, and not the US"

Now, when I would write a thread or review, I just would invert the order, and boom, I would have it... the problem is that LOOK HOW MUCH TIME I WASTE BEFORE GETTING INTO LAZARUS?
What is a better way to quickly get into the point you want to make?
May 16, 2:28 PM
#2

Offline
Sep 2016
21944
By focusing on relevancy and avoiding redundancy.
*kappa*
May 16, 2:46 PM
#3

Offline
Feb 2020
1620
AI can summarize your text. Cut everything that is just 50%.
For instance, this is how my mind operates:
AI result >
I think "Lazarus" suffers from poor structure because it feels like it was meant to be a movie but turned into a series, with many unnecessary episodes. I suspect the creators, used to movies, struggle with long-form TV and make it feel like time-wasting.

In Western media, early superhero and sci-fi works were dismissed as superficial CGI spectacles, and even now, there's a tendency to see them as just "silly." I believe this comes from misunderstanding these genres—viewing them as ends in themselves rather than tools to explore deeper themes, like in "Sonny Boy," which openly tackles psychological issues.

Finally, Western culture often sees things in extremes—either loving or dismissing them—limiting nuance. This contrasts with Japan, where niche genres like eroge and pinku eiga thrive because they explore a wider range of tones and themes.

Cutting crap >
In Western media, early superhero and sci-fi works were dismissed as superficial CGI spectacles, and even now, there's a tendency to see them as just "silly." I believe this comes from misunderstanding these genres—viewing them as ends in themselves rather than tools to explore deeper themes, like in "Sonny Boy," which openly tackle psychological issues.

As exercise try to be more like this
https://myanimelist.net/forum/search?cat=forum&q=&u=Merve2Love&uloc=2&loc=-1

May 16, 3:00 PM
#4
resident arbiter

Offline
Oct 2015
6808
Write your post in an AI and say how to be not meandery.

Still, even with guidance write your posts in your own words!
May 16, 3:00 PM
#5

Offline
Oct 2009
698
Think of the elevator pitch. You got a point and you need to make it within 20 seconds. If you can't get to the point by then you risk people tuning out. At the minimum you got to capture the interest of the audience within that time frame so they got a reason to stick around. Adopt that mentality and it will help reduce the fluff in your posts.

Not saying your posts are too long btw but if the objective is to right with great brevity then that is a good mindset to maintain. Also as Zarutaku already said only post things that are absolutely critical to your point and avoid any redundancy. Even cutting redundant words in a sentence will make you prose easier to read.

George Orwell made some good points on getting to the point:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
May 16, 3:04 PM
#6

Offline
Jun 2024
856
In conclusion Lazarus is western propaganda slop made by the big nose people
May 16, 4:34 PM
#7
Community Mod
Offline
Dec 2015
9645
Well to answer the question of your title -> As you've noticed you ain't good in it [neither am I] tho your main issue are comparisons and anegdotes, not the introduction.

To quickly make a point. You're thought process ain't that crazy, which is why I don't make threads, I'll show you how my thought process [also don't forget that I have aphantasia so it might be affecting it too]:

I will bring Orb here as I am not watching Lazarus here:


And that's a tiny part of what happens, which is why I often forget put few words in my writing as I think I written it while in reality I haven't sometimes the style of it is chaotic etc. because while writing I am constantly thinking about everything else, than writing the comment/post.
ZettaikenMay 16, 4:38 PM
May 16, 9:24 PM
#8
Nostalgia Rules!

Offline
Jun 2008
14420
I honestly don't mind bloated topics, so long as the bloatedness has enough relevant information and isn't stretched out for the sake of stretching it out. If that makes any sense. 🤔

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It’s time to ditch the text file.
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