Just finished the anime, and just, wow... That ending...
First of all I have been reading a bunch of theories non-stop ever since I finished the episode, and I already went to read the last chapter of the manga and the epilogue "Garden of Light".
I have to start by saying that I actually thought Ash didn't die when I finished the episode, as many have said, the anime leaves an open ending, and maybe I was in denial, but I really didn't have the feeling he died when I watched the final scene. So yeah, when I started reading everyone saying that he had died I was shocked, like, it seemed that I finally understood what really happened in those final moments.
With that said, I am really unsure on how to feel about this ending. People say that sleeping is great to organize your ideas, so I will really need to do that after I write this reply. But as of now, I'm really confused on how I should see this ending.
In a way, Ash finally got the peace he deserved, and it would be really hard for him to live after everything he went through, and he resolved every issue he had at the moment, so it seemed it was a proper closure. But at the same time, I just find this ending really ungrateful. All of that suffering, all of those years without being loved by someone, just to end up dying when you finally find someone who appreciates you? I don't know, I feel like this tragic ending was just chosen for the shock effect really, this anime is really TRAGIC, DENSE and DARK, we all know that, so what was the need for such a tragic ending? in a way, I feel like the author just wanted us, the viewers (well, readers in case of the Manga), to just feel miserable with this ending. I find it so unbelievable that Ash died after all of that, and killed by a person that had barely a role on the anime, due to a stab that didn't affect any vital organs, nor did it cause a big bleeding (because, well, the library was immaculate). But maybe that's exactly the intention behind it: give Ash a very standard and anti-climatic death, but also a very real one.
But one thing is for sure: I did not like how thet pushed the "Eiji was Ash's weak spot" agenda with this ending, by basically getting him killed for lowering his guards due to Eiji's letter, making it seem like Eiji ended up being the reason he got himself killed. I also did not like how the anime gives the impression that Ash had no other better ending that death, due to all of his traumas, effectively saying that people that have been through traumas will never find happiness.
In the end, I understand that this ending was to be expected, but I don't know if I can accept it, it just doesn't feel right. Ash deserved a better ending. I know that he might have died while remembering only the good moments in his life with Eiji, but the time they spent together was really short, and they deserved to be together. Once again though, I understand the idea that Ash and Eiji couldn't really be together, or at least that's not what Ash wanted, because that would throw Eiji to a world he is not part of.
Btw, reading the Epilogue "Garden of Light" was so painful... I didn't actually cry when watching the last episode (I mean, I thought Ash was alive, so yeah), but I did end up crying while reading this Epilogue, and, just like the ending, I'm not sure how to feel about it, but it does leave a very bittersweet taste.
Well, with all of that, now I'm really sure what to score this anime. I was between an 8 and a 9, and this ending just made me really confused on how I feel about this anime. The 1st part was really good, but I feel like the 2nd Part was a bit repetitive, and only started to be better in the last episodes, that felt rushed either way. Will also need to sleep on which score I should give Banana Fish.
Even after all this, I enjoyed this experience, but I'm not sure if I would recommend it to my friends, it's quite harsh, especially with this ending. It just really feels ungrateful and miserable, I don't know. At least the anime left it as an open ending, which may lead us to a bit of speculation, and although I don't usually like open endings, this one might be an exception.
One last note: I really found beautiful how Eiji and Ash had such a deep bound, and how important they were for each other and to resolve their internal issues. In the end, Ash was able to free himself from his pain and angst, while Eiji was able to feel alive again, and I think that's a good note to thing about when remembering the anime. |