| Why are some asian parents so strict on their kids? I don't its not only this culture that acts like this, and im generalizing, but my friend was dating this korean girl this year. This girl was 17 y/o and her parents were very strict with her and at that age, she still had a curfew! WTFFFF???? why can't asian parents let their kids live life and let them grow up into full adults. Part of the learning experience is to be independent and learn from your own mistakes, not your parents. Why do they have to control their kids to such an extent? This is a major reason why that asian girl jennifer pan killed her mom. Her mom was really strict on her. |
Star_BoyOct 14, 2012 9:32 AM
| Why are some parents so strict on their kids? Fixed for you. |
| The Art of Eight |
| It's all the same with this rebellious teenage girls,you have to teach them some discipline and make some ground rules as well,want to do whatever you please?,get your own house and quit being a free loader. |
DaddyOct 14, 2012 9:39 AM
This is a major reason why that asian girl jennifer pan killed her mom. Her mom was really strict on her. hmm... "Pan didn’t have a job and lived at home. With no marketable skills, her prospects for employment were bleak at best. Her parents supported her and weren’t particularly strict. But still she felt increasing resentment, according to someone familiar with the family." http://www.thestar.com/news/crime/article/895431--daughter-arrested-in-markham-home-invasion?bn=1 Why she did what she did is still unknown. Plus she was 24. And as for strict parents some would say being really strict is good parenting. |
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| When you'll have kids you will know. However being very strict is not good. Also depends on the kid. |
Anime_Name said: This is a major reason why that asian girl jennifer pan killed her mom. Her mom was really strict on her. hmm... "Pan didn’t have a job and lived at home. With no marketable skills, her prospects for employment were bleak at best. Her parents supported her and weren’t particularly strict. But still she felt increasing resentment, according to someone familiar with the family." http://www.thestar.com/news/crime/article/895431--daughter-arrested-in-markham-home-invasion?bn=1 Why she did what she did is still unknown. Plus she was 24. And as for strict parents some would say being really strict is good parenting. You were familiar with this incident? |
| How can you say a curfew is a bad thing? Here where I live, kids stay out past midnight, and highschoolers sometimes return home in the morning. And I'm not talking about birthdays or Christmas. Normal going outs. |
 "Your sight, my delight. Will you marry me?" |
| I think a bigger problem is when parents aren't strict enough, and raise spoiled brats who aren't ready for the real world. |
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Danielcook said: You were familiar with this incident? Just from the News. And I don't see any correlation between her and the topic you started here. |
Anime_NameOct 14, 2012 10:36 AM
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Porthos said: When you'll have kids you will know. However being very strict is not good. Also depends on the kid. ^ this. Usually they are strict because they want their kid(s) to have excellent grades because they believe the better the grades the better the future, which is not always the case. |
Danielcook said: Part of the learning experience is to be independent and learn from your own mistakes, not your parents. Only fools learn from their own mistakes. Wise people learn from the mistakes of others. Learning and growing up is not all about independence, it's about responsibility first of all. And you'll never learn to be responsible if your parents just let you do as you please. Well, maybe the hard way, when you get your own kids at the age of 12 or get to jail by 14. |
Anime_Name said: Danielcook said: You were familiar with this incident? Just from the News. And I don't see any correlation between her and the topic you started her. So im guessing that your from Toronto, or somewhere close? |
Danielcook said: This girl was 17 y/o and her parents were very strict with her and at that age, she still had a curfew! WTFFFF???? Lol I still had a curfew when I was 17 and I'm only half Asian. My dad, who's not Asian was the super strict one, not my mother. A certain level of strictness is good, but often parents overdo it, and when they do, they don't realise they are planting seeds of resentment in their child's mind. Oh yes, I love my dad, but I also resent him greatly for being so unnecessarily strict before I turned 18. When I was a child he'd reduce me to tears on countless occasions for things which other parents wouldn't have been too bothered by. My childhood was quite sheltered and I missed out on a lot of things my peers could do but my dad wouldn't allow/wouldn't let me get away with. The day I left home and started university was probably one of the happiest days of my life. Parents like that seem to think they're doing their child a favour, when in fact they're denying them the chances to learn from their own mistakes, and robbing them of chances to develop their individuality and independence. On the other hand, a good level of strictness is likely to make your child more responsible or sensible. |
| if parents are not strict they will be raising their kids up to be som spoiled little brat that may become so stuck up and full of themselves they will get themselves killed later in their lives out of their own egotistical way or thinking and outright stupidity |
Immahnoob said: Jizzy, I know you have no idea how to argue for shit, tokiyashiro said: Jizzy as you would call yourself because youre a dick The most butthurt award goes to you And clearly you havent watched that many shows thats why you cant determine if a show is unique or not Or maybe you're just a child who likes common stuffs where hero saves the day and guys gets all the girls. Sad taste you have there kid you came up to me in the first place making you look more like a kid who got slapped without me even knowing it and start crying about it to me |
Narmy said: This.I think a bigger problem is when parents aren't strict enough, and raise spoiled brats who aren't ready for the real world. |
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| Because they don't want their kids to be society garbage. |
| My parents were very lax, and I'm perfectly fine. Strict parents are just as bad as parents who don't do anything for their child at all, as far as I'm concerned. You need a balance, and by that I mean giving your kid some independence and freedom on top of guidance. That's a lot different than harshly controlling everything in their life to 18. |
TrapaliciousOct 14, 2012 10:38 AM
Danielcook said: Anime_Name said: Danielcook said: You were familiar with this incident? Just from the News. And I don't see any correlation between her and the topic you started her. So im guessing that your from Toronto, or somewhere close? Google maps says it is about a 4hr drive from my location. Pretty close. |
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Narmy said: I think a bigger problem is when parents aren't strict enough, and raise spoiled brats who aren't ready for the real world. This is definitely a bigger problem in modern society. It's not good to have parents that are to strict either though, because their kids grow up to resent them and in turn they lose all control of them. A lot of parents are strict because their parents were strict on them and they either think that it is the right way to do it or they resent the fact that their kids want freedoms that they never had. |
| Parents not wanting their irresponsible teenage daughter to be out in the middle of the night is strict? The more you know. Oh, and you're being racist. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
| Kids these days.... |
| I'm not really sure what the point of this topic is to be honest. There's really no set way for someone to be raised, just the effectiveness of the application of the route chosen. Now excuse me while I duck out of the inevitable moralist barrage. *runs* |
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dankickyou said: Why are some parents so strict on their kids? Fixed for you. My first thought ^^ |
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| There's no definition of how strict is strict and not all Asian parents are that `strict` and not only the Asian parents are that `strict` |
cause parents fail at life and want their children to do what they failed at doing in life cause parents suck and are lazy nowadays and learned nothing from their childhood about how to raise children cause people think being strict=more productivity post 80s the self esteem movement and bs like that cause people think itll make them better parents or whatever people are dumb i wonder why i live on this planet |
| ~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig) |
Karpman said: I would say being angry at your kid when she/he failed a test would be strict I'm not understanding how this is strict at all. Why shouldn't they be angry that their child is skimping out on their studies and screwing their own education up? I'd rather parents be strict than appeasing them at every turn resulting into some entitled brat, which is unfortunately becoming the norm these days. |
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| Why the hell would you NOT have a curfew at 17? My asian parents are usually chill but hell, they'd kill me if I came home at like 1 am. |
itsvero said: Why the hell would you NOT have a curfew at 17? My asian parents are usually chill but hell, they'd kill me if I came home at like 1 am. cause back in the day we'd send our 17 year old kids to vietnam and yes i am asian too i don't see your point |
| ~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig) |
Mageking said: cause back in the day we'd send our 17 year old kids to vietnam lol'd |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
seishi-sama said: Only fools learn from their own mistakes. Wise people learn from the mistakes of others. |
pufss said: seishi-sama said: Only fools learn from their own mistakes. Wise people learn from the mistakes of others. quote reminds me of the person who got hit dancing in traffic yet continues to dance in traffic |
| ~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig) |
 SergioSource said: Narmy said: I think a bigger problem is when parents aren't strict enough, and raise spoiled brats who aren't ready for the real world. I call bs on that. My mother was strict enough to grow me up into a social awkward weirdo. Are you sure it's not just because of you...and anime...and MLP? |
| As a child, I was told that society is a melting pot of talents; knowledge and experience combined to form important alloys that will contribute to mankind. When I got to highschool, however, I thought that it's more like a river in which the water represents our peers while we ourselves are the stones in the river. Constant erosion by mindless majority sheeping has made us lose our unique edge. After I hit the age of 18, I realized that I've been wrong all along. Society is no melting pot. Society is no river. Society is a person, a very skilled rapist, and he has fucked us all. |
| Some parents are too strict, some parents are not strict enough. It really depends on the kid though. My dad's girlfriend flipped her shit when she found out that my dad let her daughter and me walk to the store when we were 14 and 15 respectively. She was really strict on her daughter, but that's because she kind of fucked up with most of her other kids and wasn't strict enough on them. However, her daughter's pretty smart and learned from the mistakes her siblings made, so I think she could have eased up a bit. My parents, on the other hand, I don't think were strict enough. It worked out for the most part. I still got good grades, all of my teachers liked me, I stayed out of trouble, did all of my homework, and things like that. Plus, most of the time I was at home, and occasionally I would stay at a friend's house overnight, so there was no need for a curfew. However, they left decisions up to me that I really shouldn't have been making at a young age, like when I decided that I didn't want surgery on my eye or refused to get braces (my mouth is too small to fit all of my teeth). As a kid, of course I wouldn't want those things, but now that I'm older I really regret not having them done and wish my parents wouldn't have left everything for me to decide. So really, there needs to be a balance, but that's different for every kid. |
| Now i kinda have a question building off of this topic. Im 15, and i have a bed time of 10:00. Does that seem strict, because you guys speaking about curfews being harsh, i just dont understand. I cant barely even leave the house? :X |
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georgedavidlee said: Now i kinda have a question building off of this topic. Im 15, and i have a bed time of 10:00. Does that seem strict, because you guys speaking about curfews being harsh, i just dont understand. I cant barely even leave the house? :X stop crying is my response thats exactly what i've had for the past 8 years |
| ~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig) |
| One reason would be because they got influenced by their own parents of being strict to them that when becoming a parent it felt natural to use what they saw from their own parents. is what I think. |
| I think being too lax with your child isn't good but neither is being overly strict. Sometimes when parents are too strict on their child, it just makes things worse; they do more harm than good (I'm not saying that this is true for everyone by the way, just a majority if you will). I knew a couple people (one was a friend and the other was a friend of a friend) who commited suicide because of how controlling their parents were. |
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Danielcook said: Why are some asian parents so strict on their kids? I don't its not only this culture that acts like this, and im generalizing, but my friend was dating this korean girl this year. This girl was 17 y/o and her parents were very strict with her and at that age, she still had a curfew! WTFFFF???? It's not unusual for a 17-year-old CHILD to have a curfew. Heck, I know people who had curfews into their 20s, and their parents aren't even Asian at all. |
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Narmy said: I think a bigger problem is when parents aren't strict enough, and raise spoiled brats who aren't ready for the real world. There we go! Someone with sense! Im sorry but have you seen the kids of this generation?!?! Im asian (as you can tell by my username) and im a highschooler, i think that having strict parents is a good thing, even though they are a little too strict ... However a curfew? Wtf wrong with that? I actually go to a good school (private school) and still most of my classmates are dumbasses - most of the girls are slutty and the guys are just really retarded getting drunk and doing dumbass things like trying to sell ADHD drugs in the locker room, i mean WTFs wrong with you!! But yeh, strict is good to a level - however most parents nowadays arent that strict |
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| People need to stop blaming parents for how children act. It's not like parents are their only influence in life, especially at Secondary school. There's friends, and if they're dumb enough, music, movies and other media. There's lots of caring parents out there with children who are frankly complete cunts. |
TrapaliciousOct 14, 2012 8:51 PM
| Assuming we're talking about average parents, who control aspects of their kid's life for his/her sake and not their own, I think what you said is pretty spot on, Lemon. Of course, parents are not perfect at judging their child's decision making abilities, but theoretically: 'less responsible ---> less freedom' is a good place to start. Not allowing your child to engage in positive extracurriculars, or not allowing them any opportunity to develop responsibility in the first place, are separate issues. Hopefully they can get some of that via. school regardless. My parents were never especially strict, but even now when I'm twenty, if I'm at home my parents still want to know relatively what I'm up to. They don't care about specifics, but if I'm going out and/or don't plan on coming home that day, they want to know. They would not be too pleased if I randomly left and came home the next day, without letting them know. |
JoshOct 14, 2012 10:47 PM
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
| Some parents are just worried for their children; they give them rules and curfews for their kids' own good. It also depends on the children themselves; maybe they're still immature and tend to do things without thinking (twice). Of course, there is a limit to how strict parents can be on their children. My parents divorced when I was 12 and since then, I've always been living with my mum. Back then, she was really strict with me; she would pay hundreds just to let the school bus fetch me to and from school every single day, and she didn't let me hang out with my friends. Once the both of us got in a big fight because she didn't let me go over to a friend's house for project work. She always threatened she would tell the police that I ran away from home. I knew she was afraid I'd get in some sort of trouble, but I still hated her for that. Eventually I got so fed up that I ran away from home anyway, and since then my mum hasn't been so strict on me any more (not saying it's a good idea to run away, though. I was a really stupid person back then). But you know, back when my mum didn't allow me to step outside, all I did was lock myself in my room and use the computer. I didn't interact with anyone, not even my family members, and the result? I am now a computer addict. So much that now my mum insists that I go out because she was afraid I'd stay home all day to surf the net. She was even afraid of buying me a smartphone at first because it had Internet access. Just goes to show that whatever you do brings about consequences, huh. |
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