Jul 25, 2019 6:15 AM
[7] Poe's Law - A documentation of the craziness found on the MAL forums ||| "Show you are not afraid, you are a strong man who is able to pork powerfully" - When evopsych goes wrong
Anime Relations:
Ape
The seventh entry in the collection of MAL insanity goes to:
__________________________________________________________________________________
CosmicWarriors
CosmicWarriors created two threads that are meant to make everyones lives better, by providing helpful advice about females, life in general, the frequency at which men should blow their load, females, how to be cool at school, and females.
At some Point in his life CosmicWarriors decided for himself, that everything we need to know about human interaction can be learned by observing apes at the zoo and then extrapolating.
While evolutionary psychology rightly teaches us that animal insticts are still very important to our behavior, this guy is an example of someone who took that one snippet of knowledge and then ran away with it. He especially loves to apply his theory to women, so get ready for a huge load of sexism. You’ll see what I mean.
His threads are very long, around 4600 words combined, so instead of blowing up this entry I just took some of the highlights and put them below. I am treating the two threads as one, because they are functionally the same anyway. You can read this entry as a collection of hilariously misguided pieces of advice.
As always, enjoy and try not to lose your mind.
None of this is true of course, but it sure is funny to read.
After this, he goes on about nonverbal communication, where we come across this gem:
Onto the next thread:
Also a nice note to end it on.
Think of these bits of advice the next time you’re in a club. We really are just a bunch of partying baboon meat computers.
In all honesty, some of his advice isn’t even bad. If you filter out all the crazy, maybe you can even take something away from his threads. As for me, the threads certainly left an impression, and they also left me feeling a little unsettled.
Link to thread: https://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=1794001
Link to thread: https://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=1793968
__________________________________________________________________________________
CosmicWarriors
CosmicWarriors created two threads that are meant to make everyones lives better, by providing helpful advice about females, life in general, the frequency at which men should blow their load, females, how to be cool at school, and females.
At some Point in his life CosmicWarriors decided for himself, that everything we need to know about human interaction can be learned by observing apes at the zoo and then extrapolating.
While evolutionary psychology rightly teaches us that animal insticts are still very important to our behavior, this guy is an example of someone who took that one snippet of knowledge and then ran away with it. He especially loves to apply his theory to women, so get ready for a huge load of sexism. You’ll see what I mean.
His threads are very long, around 4600 words combined, so instead of blowing up this entry I just took some of the highlights and put them below. I am treating the two threads as one, because they are functionally the same anyway. You can read this entry as a collection of hilariously misguided pieces of advice.
As always, enjoy and try not to lose your mind.
CosmicWarriors said:
This thread is for scientific studies on human behaviour with the goal of bettering humanity.
Dongs and porking will be discussed, if you are a minor or find these subjects gross simply dont read this thread no need to complain.
Some of this information can be used for bad, but im not sharing anything here that cant be found online. Please be responsible and dont hurt girls feelings. If you use this information for bad I WILL PERSONALLY BEAT YOU UP.
Great start tbh.This thread is for scientific studies on human behaviour with the goal of bettering humanity.
Dongs and porking will be discussed, if you are a minor or find these subjects gross simply dont read this thread no need to complain.
Some of this information can be used for bad, but im not sharing anything here that cant be found online. Please be responsible and dont hurt girls feelings. If you use this information for bad I WILL PERSONALLY BEAT YOU UP.
CosmicWarriors said:
Dont watch porn. This is very important to be an optimally functioning human and maintain an optimal relationship with a female.
Most people male and female who cannot get a partner simply have unrealistic standards. For males who want "pornstar" looking females, porn is obviously the problem.
After two weeks of not watching porn you will immediately find all women 200% more attractive. (Or your money back) This is mainly because you have gotten over all your false perceptions of what a woman looks like. (Look at pictures of pornstars without makeup if you dont believe)
Also when you blow a load your hormone levels drop, it takes 2 weeks to max your hormone levels back. But after 2 weeks your hormone levels will begin to drop again. (Max hormone levels will make you more attracted the less attractive females)
(And 24 hours for your body to replenish its nutrients lost from from the load blow. Meaning if you crank it daily your body never has a chance to function optimally. This is why fighters and atheletes dont nut for 2 weeks before they compete. However females actually function better the more times they get off)
Classic conservative anti-porn stance. The grip that porn as on mens life is so large, it corrodes our standards and ruins our chances for a proper relationship. It’s almost impossible to watch porn responsibly. Also, athletes don’t nut for 2 weeks before they compete, because nutting is bad for you.Dont watch porn. This is very important to be an optimally functioning human and maintain an optimal relationship with a female.
Most people male and female who cannot get a partner simply have unrealistic standards. For males who want "pornstar" looking females, porn is obviously the problem.
After two weeks of not watching porn you will immediately find all women 200% more attractive. (Or your money back) This is mainly because you have gotten over all your false perceptions of what a woman looks like. (Look at pictures of pornstars without makeup if you dont believe)
Also when you blow a load your hormone levels drop, it takes 2 weeks to max your hormone levels back. But after 2 weeks your hormone levels will begin to drop again. (Max hormone levels will make you more attracted the less attractive females)
(And 24 hours for your body to replenish its nutrients lost from from the load blow. Meaning if you crank it daily your body never has a chance to function optimally. This is why fighters and atheletes dont nut for 2 weeks before they compete. However females actually function better the more times they get off)
None of this is true of course, but it sure is funny to read.
CosmicWarriors said:
I think you should approach females directly with lines like i am attracted to you and want to get to know you better to see if we would be compatible for a serious relationship. This makes you sound like a fucking wierdo but its cuts through months of bullshit flirting.
Females will actually probably turn you down at first even if they like you. Sometimes they will reject you then a couple weeks later will want to date you. So dont feel lkke the world has ended if this happens.
If you confess your feelings for a female and she turns you down i think the best thing to do is act like nothing has changed still behave like you were friends just like before you asked her out (even if she is being weird) still make eye contact and and speak with confidence. Show you are not afraid, you are a strong man who is able to pork powerfully.
„Show you are not afraid, you are a strong man who is able to pork powerfully“I think you should approach females directly with lines like i am attracted to you and want to get to know you better to see if we would be compatible for a serious relationship. This makes you sound like a fucking wierdo but its cuts through months of bullshit flirting.
Females will actually probably turn you down at first even if they like you. Sometimes they will reject you then a couple weeks later will want to date you. So dont feel lkke the world has ended if this happens.
If you confess your feelings for a female and she turns you down i think the best thing to do is act like nothing has changed still behave like you were friends just like before you asked her out (even if she is being weird) still make eye contact and and speak with confidence. Show you are not afraid, you are a strong man who is able to pork powerfully.
CosmicWarriors said:
When getting bullied by people for asking out your crush. Do not give a crap, say yeah so what? I think she is attractive and i asked her out. If you act like a prey animal you will trigger that predatory response. Just dont give a crap and keep oozing large wang confidence. (The crush may hear about this how you have machismo and still think she is attrative and you shut down these would be bullies with confidence then she may get sopping wet and want to date you for realsies this time)
Yikes³When getting bullied by people for asking out your crush. Do not give a crap, say yeah so what? I think she is attractive and i asked her out. If you act like a prey animal you will trigger that predatory response. Just dont give a crap and keep oozing large wang confidence. (The crush may hear about this how you have machismo and still think she is attrative and you shut down these would be bullies with confidence then she may get sopping wet and want to date you for realsies this time)
After this, he goes on about nonverbal communication, where we come across this gem:
CosmicWarriors said:
The most repulsive and low class scum non verbal communication. A girl trying to rub her butthole on your crotch at a club/party (why are you even here? You are not likely to find a quality woman here) i have never spoken to a female who did this to me, i find it repulsive. Any female who wants to fuck the first night she meets someone is a woman i want nothing to do with, and neither should you, unless you enjoy collecting stds.
Remember: Girls who go clubbing are sluts and not likely to be „quality“. More on this issue later.The most repulsive and low class scum non verbal communication. A girl trying to rub her butthole on your crotch at a club/party (why are you even here? You are not likely to find a quality woman here) i have never spoken to a female who did this to me, i find it repulsive. Any female who wants to fuck the first night she meets someone is a woman i want nothing to do with, and neither should you, unless you enjoy collecting stds.
CosmicWarriors said:
Females are CONSTANTLY competing against eachother without realizing it. This girl will now try to seduce youmto pick her over this other girl you like. Once you choose this girl she will feel she "won" and "beat" the other girl and discard you. Just be aware of this.
Goddamn animal instincts amirite, happens all the time. Women really are manipulative animals that discard men because they subconsciously want to compete with other women. Dangerous generalization? No, I’m sure this is fine. (:Females are CONSTANTLY competing against eachother without realizing it. This girl will now try to seduce youmto pick her over this other girl you like. Once you choose this girl she will feel she "won" and "beat" the other girl and discard you. Just be aware of this.
Onto the next thread:
CosmicWarriors said:
Humans are still just animals with instincts to hunt and destroy the weak (to strengthen the species) many nerdy nerds walk looking down with slumped shoulders close to the wall, this is how a mouse moves, how a prey animal moves. This will trigger a predatory response in other humans and they will try to harm you out of instinct without even realizing what they are doing.
If you try to project yourself as a big wang alpha male tribal leader and walk down the centre of the hallway with broad shoulders looking up with a confident stride you will project yourself as a dominant tribal leader. This can change how people view you and make them look up to you and want to be part of your clan. However this can backfire as another person trying to improve their status may try to challenge you put you down and increase their rank.
And this is where he really takes things way too far. Not all social interactions should be seen through the lense of caveman-alpha-beta-psychology, but it’s just so goddamn easy to see it as a theory for everything if you just stick to it religiously. Let’s see how deep the rabbit hole goes.Humans are still just animals with instincts to hunt and destroy the weak (to strengthen the species) many nerdy nerds walk looking down with slumped shoulders close to the wall, this is how a mouse moves, how a prey animal moves. This will trigger a predatory response in other humans and they will try to harm you out of instinct without even realizing what they are doing.
If you try to project yourself as a big wang alpha male tribal leader and walk down the centre of the hallway with broad shoulders looking up with a confident stride you will project yourself as a dominant tribal leader. This can change how people view you and make them look up to you and want to be part of your clan. However this can backfire as another person trying to improve their status may try to challenge you put you down and increase their rank.
CosmicWarriors said:
Humans as animals, after studying the relations of human and animal behaviour you can see how girls dancing at a club as just baboons presenting to attract a mate and guys trying to be cool and just birds showing off their healthy plumage to try and attract a mate. (Being a provider and protector, how a male bird builds a nest/house and tries to show off his good genetics to atreact a partner and pass on his genes)
Very deep. And here we see again that he hates clubs and partying. Humans as animals, after studying the relations of human and animal behaviour you can see how girls dancing at a club as just baboons presenting to attract a mate and guys trying to be cool and just birds showing off their healthy plumage to try and attract a mate. (Being a provider and protector, how a male bird builds a nest/house and tries to show off his good genetics to atreact a partner and pass on his genes)
CosmicWarriors said:
Once you can understand this a lot of the magic is removed from human interactions and you can see how people are just meat computers running these programs while being totally ignorant of what they are actually doing and why.
Can we go back? Some things just make me wish that evopsych had never been invented.Once you can understand this a lot of the magic is removed from human interactions and you can see how people are just meat computers running these programs while being totally ignorant of what they are actually doing and why.
CosmicWarriors said:
I would reccomend everyone male and female check out the mystery method it is about how to become a pick up artist. Pick up artists are scum who should be executed. (Rape by deception) but i actually learned a lot about behavioural psychology and female psychology. I have also heard guys using lines from this program word for word. It is important girls know about this treachery so they can defend themselves.
That one came out of left field, because he’s saying a lot of the same shit that pick-up artists say. I think another pick-up artist stole his wife.I would reccomend everyone male and female check out the mystery method it is about how to become a pick up artist. Pick up artists are scum who should be executed. (Rape by deception) but i actually learned a lot about behavioural psychology and female psychology. I have also heard guys using lines from this program word for word. It is important girls know about this treachery so they can defend themselves.
CosmicWarriors said:
Senseless porking, the thing about porking is it is temporary, you dont get anything after, this is like trying to fill that void of being unfulfilled by trying to contantly make yourself happy. I wont get too into it here. While porking might be the greatest thing ever i still think it is highly overrated just like drug and drink. Sex is for earthworms, if we are humans capable of higher thought why choose to have a sex based brain?
Coolness and talking to girls at parties, in my later teens after i discovered how stupid everything was females would always approach me at parties and start talking to me about why i didnt do drugs, drink or have casual sex. This is one of the super powers here. At this point you are already having a conversation with a female. And starting a conversation with a female for most people is one of the most difficult parts of engaging with a female.
Remember, fun = bad. Also, instead of socializing like a normal person, you’ll have more success by not socializing, which will lead to people asking you why you’re not socializing, and THEN you got them. It’s a superpower. Trust me.Senseless porking, the thing about porking is it is temporary, you dont get anything after, this is like trying to fill that void of being unfulfilled by trying to contantly make yourself happy. I wont get too into it here. While porking might be the greatest thing ever i still think it is highly overrated just like drug and drink. Sex is for earthworms, if we are humans capable of higher thought why choose to have a sex based brain?
Coolness and talking to girls at parties, in my later teens after i discovered how stupid everything was females would always approach me at parties and start talking to me about why i didnt do drugs, drink or have casual sex. This is one of the super powers here. At this point you are already having a conversation with a female. And starting a conversation with a female for most people is one of the most difficult parts of engaging with a female.
CosmicWarriors said:
There is literally no reason to go get drunk at parties/ clubs. It might seem like you are increasing your social status but most of these people dont give a crap about anyone. Girls getting drunk and losing thier ability to defend themselves can be raped. Guys can get stomped out. Why would anyone ever willingly put themselves into this situation? The only reason i ever did was to try and be cool and meet females, but once you understand these are not really important it all becomes truly meaningless.
More fun = badThere is literally no reason to go get drunk at parties/ clubs. It might seem like you are increasing your social status but most of these people dont give a crap about anyone. Girls getting drunk and losing thier ability to defend themselves can be raped. Guys can get stomped out. Why would anyone ever willingly put themselves into this situation? The only reason i ever did was to try and be cool and meet females, but once you understand these are not really important it all becomes truly meaningless.
CosmicWarriors said:
There School is pointless. School is generally a waste of time and you wont learn anything valuable. For those unfortunately trapped in this system just try to develop some mental toughness and get through it.
Connections not degrees are what will benifit you in the future. Unless you get the hookups no pile of worthless degrees/certifications will do you any good.
Degrees are worthless.There School is pointless. School is generally a waste of time and you wont learn anything valuable. For those unfortunately trapped in this system just try to develop some mental toughness and get through it.
Connections not degrees are what will benifit you in the future. Unless you get the hookups no pile of worthless degrees/certifications will do you any good.
CosmicWarriors said:
There Most of the super hot attractive girls in school end up aging very quickly after graduation then you have your late bloomers (girl nerds) who become attractive females but are still a nice person on the inside. This is the ideal girlfriend you should hunt for.
More creepy generalizations.There Most of the super hot attractive girls in school end up aging very quickly after graduation then you have your late bloomers (girl nerds) who become attractive females but are still a nice person on the inside. This is the ideal girlfriend you should hunt for.
CosmicWarriors said:
The more perfect someones phsyical form is the greater chance they have a more perfectly formed brain. Then with their physical body, the stronger and more fit they are the greater chance of survival they have and the healthier and stronger their offspring will be. Boobs are attractive as they are made to feed babies and make them healthy and strong. Butts are attractive as butt fat is used to build a babies brain.
Maybe he should have stayed in school and studied human anatomy.The more perfect someones phsyical form is the greater chance they have a more perfectly formed brain. Then with their physical body, the stronger and more fit they are the greater chance of survival they have and the healthier and stronger their offspring will be. Boobs are attractive as they are made to feed babies and make them healthy and strong. Butts are attractive as butt fat is used to build a babies brain.
CosmicWarriors said:
The more intelligent someone is the greater chance they will be moral and a good person (unless they are a high functioning psychopath with no emotion) it takes knowledge and understanding to differentiate right from wrong, without the ability to reason why are just animals. It is a difficult stage to reach especially for females, but you eventually have to reach a stage where your desicions are objective and not based on emotion.
Quite possibly the worst statement in his two threads, and that’s saying something.The more intelligent someone is the greater chance they will be moral and a good person (unless they are a high functioning psychopath with no emotion) it takes knowledge and understanding to differentiate right from wrong, without the ability to reason why are just animals. It is a difficult stage to reach especially for females, but you eventually have to reach a stage where your desicions are objective and not based on emotion.
Also a nice note to end it on.
Think of these bits of advice the next time you’re in a club. We really are just a bunch of partying baboon meat computers.
In all honesty, some of his advice isn’t even bad. If you filter out all the crazy, maybe you can even take something away from his threads. As for me, the threads certainly left an impression, and they also left me feeling a little unsettled.
Link to thread: https://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=1794001
Link to thread: https://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=1793968
Posted by
Railey2
| Jul 25, 2019 6:15 AM |
4 comments
 |
GiantQAACSleier | Jul 28, 2019 4:23 AM
This is an absolute masterpiece. My perspective on life has developed for the better. I am now able to enact sexual activities with the female counterpart who are, as stated, of different species.
|
 |
Sad | Jul 25, 2019 9:16 AM
we don't deserve this majestic beast
|
 |
Railey2 | Jul 25, 2019 8:06 AM
I'm not afraid of you Yarub, I'm a strong male who can pork powerfully. Your Muslim ass on the other hand can't even eat pork. Get on my level :V
|
 |
Yarub | Jul 25, 2019 7:24 AM
You can't understand his POV because you don't have enough female ass fat inside your skull.
|