Nuki Doki! Tenshi to Akuma no Sakusei Battle

Whoever said "porn is false advertisement" is probably either a virgin, a believer of whatever bullcrap FUNimation spews when they promote their "porn but not porn," religious, or whatever strange combination of choices. It's okay, though. When I was introduced to porn, I didn't know what to do either. On to the review.

Nuki Doki is basically what "DxD HS" and "I Can't F00k Her" claims to be but actually isn't; and two episodes of the former is merely a drop in the bucket of justice.

The concept's a good idea: Some demon who thinks she's all that forces some random 4-eyes dude to sign a contract ... with her. And then he meets another girl who turns out to be an angel. Said dude's female classmate, and some sword-wielding bitchopath, appear and then we never see them again. BOOOO!

Animation and sex scenes are dull; typical of PoRO. They're not bad like "4/10 bad," just dull. The girls are gorgeous btw, the dude is not bad-looking as well, and it's not NTR. *Clap! Clap! Clap!*

PoRO had been known for it's NTR h-anime and constant cock-blocks of certain characters, but they should focus more of love-shape-esque outings like this. Media Blaster's Kitty Media wing should license, English-dub, and sell titles like these uncensored as well.

OK, fellow lion tamers. Here we go, with my first review.

Unfortunately, I have to say, Nuki Doki! Tenshi to Akuma no Sakusei Battle; leaves a lot of stuff out of the mix. Those of you have seen part (or all) of this anime, know enough about this that I should not have to itemize by scores, where I am on this anime.

PoRO needs to be horsewhipped. They've done worse work, and they've done better work. Nuki Doki is simply not worth anybody's time. Don't know why I bothered. I ran into episode 1, some time ago, and was mildly intrigued. I waited, then I waited ... some more. Finally episode 2 arrived (on several sites). I was shocked to find that there was no story continuation, no meaningful expansion of plot lines, no reasonable expansion of the characters.

In fact, things tended to get worse.

The male protagonist, Mr. Yamato is utterly interchangeable. He also does absolutely nothing except acquiesce to every sexual approach attempted by Sera and Filika. OK, that might seem good, for some; but when he turns down Filikas' contract (purported to be for purposes unknown, never really explained) I said to myself "... OK, maybe this guy has some brains ...". But no. He becomes a golem, with no attitudes at all, no commentary of his own, no real astonishment that Filika keeps dismembering him, as if that will help her scores (pun intended); no commentary about maybe he is sick and tired of being stolen out from under Sera (even though the plot, the stuff they give us, plainly points out the Filika and Sera may not interfere in any way with the other persons' sexual activities).

Filika is the first character we are introduced to. She plays a demon from the fires of Hell (you get to pick the one you like. After all the Chinese have over a thousand of them). She complains about having to appear to her target male, via a toilet; even though virtually anyone from Hell would be pleased to be handed ice water. The toilet and sewer pipe are drawn clean, and she stays dry. She complains. She is arrogant, petulant, and stupid. She has carried out the wishes of her superiors, without regard to ground rules which might be used to determine the winner of the internal struggle. And she never even asks.

Sera is the other combatant, in this supernatural struggle. She is proported to be an Angel, we don't know from where, and the story doesn't say. We are forced to make ludicrous assumptions. She is exactly the opposite of Filika, in most ways. She is polite, commiserative, kind, helpful, and generous in all ways. The only similarity between the two girls is that she is more incompetent than Filika. She performs a task, which saves the life of Yamato (something so unique that Filika can only stand and watch in amazement); only to let this pass. Anyone else would have demanded this action be scored, and be delivered the victory. This story should have been immediately over. There is no possible response to balance this action, from Filika. Even Filika's bosses would not want the target male to be killed before the end of the contest. Afterward, who cares.

OK, general commentary. Both girls in the contest are stupid and vapid. In every single case, there is significantly more going on inside their sex organs, than there is between their ears. In short, they are blow-up dolls, having no capacity whatever to give pleasurable feedback to a male partner. The artwork is up to PoRO's high standards (and the women in the show are drawn beautifully), and so is the sound and the dialog actors performances (although, just between you and I; I have no idea why they bothered to perform so well). The basic story is initially intriguing, but then falls completely flat leaving nowhere for this story to go. We can see the problem, more clearly, if we ask some questions:

Do I care if either girl wins? No.
Do I care what happens, after the show finally meanders its way to an ending, to Mr. Yamato? No.
Do I care about the conversations between our two lovely judges? No.
DO I have any sexual fantasies about having sex with either blow-up doll? No.
Is the proper ending, the splitting of Mr. Yamato in half and placing each half on the wall of each relevant judge as a trophy? Yes, yes yes!
Should each contestant female be made to pump water for the house plumbing, in which they have been living (for weeks), forever? Yes, yes, yes!
Should the judges, as pretty as they are, be fed to the creatures of the 10 realms? Yes, yes, yes!

And there you have it. My first review on this blog. I give it an overall 5, and only because the artwork and voice acting is above par; the rest is unredeemably bad!

I have a very uneasy relationship with studio Poro. On one hand their animation is excellent, and they have a cast of capable and erotic voice actresses, but at the same time their choreography tends to be very formulaic and cookie-cutter, and sometimes the VAs sound uninvested or simply disinterested. Anyways, enough about my anti-Poro crusade, you came here to read a review.

The story goes something like this, both the demons and angels have their sights set on some random nobody four-eyes loser, and for some reason they each want him and want to keep the other side from getting him. Naturally the only ... way to win a guy's heart is through his dick.

The art is something that Poro manages to get right most of the time, and it's certainly apparent here. The character designs are great, I could see them fitting into most of the modern harems that come out every season, you know, if they managed to keep their panties on. But here's where the problem starts.

Firika is a great character, this review would've been an 7/10 or maybe even 8/10 if she was the only girl, but then you've got Sera who really doesn't have any business being in a hentai. Trying to watch the Sera sex scenes is like trying to pass kidney stones, it's painful, feels like forever, but it's something you have to do in order to enjoy life again. I'm pretty sure I'm exaggerating, it's been little more than a year since I last watched Nuki Doki, though I distinctly remember hating Sera's role in the title.

Anyways to summarize, excellent art and voice quality, I enjoyed the sex with Firika, the sex with Sera you might as well replace her with a cardboard box since all she's doing is taking up screentime where Firika isn't having hot demon sex with the MC.