UFO Princess Valkyrie

This story has a pretty cliche' storyline. Guy meets girl, then other girls suddenly appear in droves. Seen it before, right? Well UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie has a few twists that set it apart form other romantic comedies. First, because the main female protagonist has shared her soul with the male lead, she has regressed mentally and physically to the level of a six year old, which presents a whole new challange when it comes to romance. Secondly, the story is dramatic and serious when it needs to be, so the series has just enough drama in it to make it believeable.

The artwork is very ... clean and bright, which compliments the atmosphere nicely. And be careful all you delicate types out there; all but three or four episodes in the entire franchise (around fifty episodes) shows certain female body parts, so be warned.

Oh god, this show is for real, isn’t it? Welp, this is going to be an interesting review. It’s about an alien girl that crashed into a house, almost killed the person, then gave the person half their soul to save him. She also crashed right in the middle of the bathhouse, separating the men’s and the women’s side. You would think that with that much accuracy, she could of landed fine instead of crashing.

What is with aliens not knowing how to land and crashing into buildings? Seriously, does no one know how to land a spaceship? It happens almost all the time during the ... show which makes me wonder if any alien should really be flying at all. If the real world was like this one, then I am scared when we actually end up meeting beings from other worlds.

Can someone explain to me if this is a dating sim, because it really did feel like it. All the characters that showed up were pretty much stereotypes of characters I have seen in other shows, just not all in the same show. We have the catgirl, the princess who has dedicated herself to our main character, the rival character, the childhood friend, the little sister, and so on. They may not all be fighting for Kazuto’s love but they sure do act like they do sometimes. Actually, sometimes I wonder if Sanada wants to romance Val herself half the time with how upsessed she is with her.

So the main thing they keep on saying over and over and over again is that ‘Valkyrie gave Kazuto the most precious thing that a girl could give someone…’ AND IT ISN’T THAT PERVERTS! The most precious thing is half of her soul actually but every time they say that line, it just makes me want to face palm. And most of the time they wonder why people get the wrong idea when they say it too. It makes it sound as though they had sex.

There is one character that I never really understood. It’s that of Kazuto’s… sister… friend… other relative…? They say younger sister on the wiki but they never really explain this well in the show until episode 5. She barely gets any screen time and when she is on screen, it’s just to talk about money until then and we get more of a slice of life story that episode. She is a very average character that really doesn’t stand out at all. Average nerdy girl looks, average nerdy girl problems, and average nerdy girl personality. Example, gets asked by the cutest boy in school (That they say anyway… he looks average to me) but says no because she has to study for entrance exams.

The artwork is… well it doesn’t look like something that came out in the 2000s. I see it more on par with Ranma or Oh My Goddess more in art style; it’s very typical of that time period. The opening slates seem to be more like Oh My Goddess and I do find some things very similar to that art style but then we get the bubbliest looking scenes that just felt strange. I think this was done with cel drawings because there are many little mistakes I see at times that I think the only way they would have that problem is with cel art. Things like little areas not being colored in right or images that seem to end up looping more then normal. There is also the fact that the foreground is more distinct then the background. When the magical girl thing happens during the transformation from kid Val to Adult Val, we get a little to much detail to her naked body. And this happens at least once an episode it seems weather it is Val or one of her kind. I understand it being a bathhouse, but even outside the bathhouse it seems we are not protected from that. Actually, come to think of it, none of the girls must wear bras as you can see their nipples through their outfits. This is very distracting as they would make me get distracted and not in a good way. Also not really sure about the design of Spottenheim (Shirokenhaimu). Just what the hell is he? Dog/bunny hybrid or something?

The music is actually really good. I’m surprised that it’s that good compared to the other things in this show. It has the right music to make the scene feel just right. The bad thing about that is that they are unmemorable. I wouldn’t be able to pick them out from any other shows. The opening and ending songs aren’t that bad but they are not memorable either. The only thing that through me off was that in the ending, they had some rather classical music playing over some intense scenes which I’m not sure why. The voices are… interesting. None of them really stood out except for one of the surprisingly deep voice of Shirokenhaimu. There are a couple well known voices in this show like Monica Rial and Luci Christian but they kind of don’t stand out at all. Most of the characters have this rather high pitched voice so I just cringe on every one of them. Greg Ayres actually does a decent job with Kazuto Tokino’s voice as he wasn’t all that bad, just bland. His voice like his personality and his looks do not stand out which seems to be a thing when it comes to harems.

Now, there are 4 more seasons to this show, and I’m not sure if it was really even needed. The ending of this first season had an ending that could have been perfect to finish it off. It makes me slightly scared to watch the rest of the seasons.

"To the bath house and beyond" or maybe that's what they should have called this psycho circus called Ufo Ultramaiden Valkyrie..And if you're not impressed by the title alone let me give you some more useful details that will arouse your...Mind.

What? Did you think i was gonna say your pants? What anime do you think this is anyway? This is a serious love story about a little 8 yr old girl and a child molester, who found one another under the worst circumstances possible.

You see our little Valkyrie crashed her spaceship right on Kazuto's(the child molester)bath house, killing him in the process. And if this ... was one of those ridiculous ecchi anime Kazuto would somehow be brought back to life and that's fucking exactly what happens when-the adult then-Valkyrie decided to give him half her soul to revive him. Of course giving half your soul-as we all know-makes you revert back to your 8 yr old self, so she got stuck on earth not only as a child but as a prisoner of Kazuto's as well.

So, if one wondered what the moral of this story is then it would probably be "if you are a bad driver and you kill a pervert let it be, don't whatever you do stop cause the guilt will take over and you'll end up as a sex slave", or something like that. That's a life lesson you won't get in the school books so be grateful this anime exists.

At this point you might think that this sounds ok-ish, sure there's a child molester but the 8 yr old should be at least a bit cute, right? Right?................WRONG WRONG AND WRONG. Valkyrie as an 8 yr old is the most annoying character i've seen to date and not only that she takes incredible pleasure in animal torture as she's seen in many occassions riding a poor little alien dog and stretching his ears to the other end of the galaxy. BUT here's the catch..Valkyrie can go back to being an adult once she kisses Kazuto..Yeah...As if this wasn't braincell killing enough they thought it would be a nice touch to have an 8 yr old kissing a 17 yr old. And there's a nicer tough to this whole bang and blow bussiness which is the transforming-almost Sailor Moon-esque-scene where we get to witness Valkyrie in all her godly goodness, boingy breasts and an ass so beautiful it can kill you..But don't worry there are plenty of them babes in Valhalla.

So we have covered pedo's and nudity..What else is there? Well, to add some madness to the mix we also have a catgirl. Yup your brain isn't sending you wrong signals there's a catgirl straight outta Valhalla...And that isn't the end of her story as we are shown in her own episode that she is in possession of a ray gun that turns humans into slave cat girls that answer to her and her only..How bloody brilliant is that? And why science hasn't produced this marvelous weapon of mass erection?

From there the 3 of them along with Kazuto's sister, run the bath house which is the new spot for all the weird looking aliens to gather and have a nice bath which in turn means that the average otaku has one more reason to watch this show..Nude aliens of all sizes and shapes. For god's sake there's a banana alien with legs..But all was in vain cause everything is ruined by the 8 yr old Valkyrie raiding the place and being absolutely annoying to the point of destruction..And she...She won't shut up cause she's the main focus of this show..Well along with stark naked aliens and all..

This show then, is all about fanservice, catgirls, nude magical girl transformations, opening and closing songs from a kids party from hell, an annoying main female character, a generic and bland as fuck male main and generic as fuck rest of the cast..And almost non existent humour.. Animation was good if by any chance you didn't close your eyes and ears everytime Valkyrie was ready to open he damn mouth..

The show sure picks up some speed towards the last eps but it's not enough and the end of the series left me with a gaping wound in my left hand, a result of me stabbing my self with a fork.

All in all i think you should avoid this one like you would avoid leprosy.