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To Love Ru is your typical fanservice fare. If you've seen any anime, you've seen To Love Ru.

If you scanned through a 1970s edition of Playboy that has been weather beaten (as well as beaten in other ways), you've seen To Love Ru. If you ever stopped to wipe your ass and look into the toilet bowl to see what's inside it after a dump, you've seen To Love Ru.

Typical big-boobied art colourful enough to distract anyone that is capable of one brain function at a time. Le sigh.

The characters are frustrating and retarded and it makes me wonder if they drool while they tie their shoelaces in the morning. But silly me--here I go assuming the cast of this moronic anime can tie their shoes with any measure of success! I just wanted to send all the girls back to school so they could learn how to spell or, I dunno, blink and talk at the same time or something.

This was complete balls but not the good kind of balls that I like. Mostly the horrid kinds. I would recommend it to a handful of the MAL population to watch, since this anime seems like punishment enough for them.

As some closing words for this review and some hope for the future of anime:

New To Love Ru when?? Never!

And that's a good thing. read more

I said it before and I'll say it again: there are just few things on this planet that can be as fabulous tier as I am. Aoi Hana is one kind of anime that comes dangerously close. (NB: close. Nothing is my tier as yet).

This anime has the distinction of NOT being a disgusting fanservice yuri anime. It is pretty good drama and isn't about hot chicks snogging one another or worse, not snogging and just drinking tea all the time. Don't get me wrong, this is no "snore, huh?, wtf, I can't even spell 'soeur'-fest" like Maria-sama ga Miteru nor are the girls candy coloured whores like in Strawberry Panic.

No, Aoi Hana shows you pretty much how unfabulous it is to be a gay-girl teenager who is so deep in the closet that even the Boogieman is starting to feel claustrophobic.

So the story follows this plain chick Fumi whose big distinctions are her height and her ability to cry at the drop of the hat. Apparently everyone wants a piece of her (reasonably so, she's a nice gal), so she gets into all sorts of lesbian hijinks with her cousin and this older chick in school.

We follow the exploits of Fumi as she goes pimpin' across Kamakura. It really says something when she can just mosey on up to a new school and bag the hottest guy in school. Although the hottest guy is just a butch girl. Yasuko is kind of a more overt pimp, because she's basically got all the girls wanting to get some, especially this hot little number called Kyoko. Who is sadly being chased by this guy (a real guy, btw) who has no idea the girl he's engaged to wants to dine on fine rug gourmet rather than sausage.

Now, be warned of the trollin'--this is no Kannazuki no Miko or anything. One thing you loser fans will have a problem with is the lack of explicitness in this anime. Where are da boobs!? If she's scamming on other girls, why aren't we seeing her panties?? I thought this was going to be about fingersex? Oops, this anime has class, taste and dignity. So be warned, none of that in Aoi Hana.

What we got is a sweet and fabulous little story. The art only really misses getting a 10 because there wasn't enough pink or glitter or pink glitter in it. There were dudes in this but they were pretty much average looking like everyone else. Everyone looks pretty normal. Other than that, it's pretty down to earth and real. The sound is pretty good too, but as for Akira's voice, I wouldn't want to take that to bed, if you know what I mean. She sounds like a little kid, which I guess is the effect they wanted because Akira is pretty much like the most childish character in the show (though she's not immature). I don't even know what I mean. Who'd want to take Akira to bed? Nobody!

And that's another pretty cool aspect of this show. Akira, the second main character, isn't automatically paired off with chick-master Fumi like ALL THOSE OTHER YURI shows where the BFFs suddenly go gay for one another. That is surprisingly very cool of this anime.

For being real: 10 fabs out 10.
Lesbians: 9 fabs out of 10.
Lack of fairy dust: 1 unfab, but since this isn't that kind of show, I guess I can let it slide.

All in all, watch this show, since I have deemed it fabulous. read more

Let it rip!! Like a fart, you mean.

Beyblade has to be the seriously DUMBEST ANIME EVER. Or at least the story is. It's on the level of Yu-Gi-Oh for how moronic it is. Let's see, the fate of the world rests in the hands of...spinning tops!! Omg, someone help us ALL--if these ten year old boys don't play with SPINNING TOPS then the society we know will run amuck!!

Everyone looked like ice cream melting on a cone. The art was splatacular, and not worth anything more than you can get with a box of Crayolas. Sound was mostly kids screaming about passing gas or letting it rip or something stupid.

And all the characters were like juvenile and ridiculous. Whatever, they're kids, they're supposed to be juvenile, but NO. THEY TAKE SPINNING TOPS VERY SERIOUSLY.

All in all, pathetic excuse of an anime. Do your kids the favour of pushing them down some stairs than letting them watch this--I can assure you they won't be half as stupid after their fall as opposed to watching an episode of this tripe. read more

Blood+ is a cool vampire series that's not so cool because it went on far longer than it should.

The anime this was based off of was so much more interesting, but to appeal for fans, they made Saya younger, hotter, more man-hungry than her previous incarnation. Ah, accessibility...

Art was average. Sound was cool. I like the ED theme song where it sounds like an old lady is being strangled.

Characters were balls. The brother was freaking annoying. I hated him, ruined the damn series. However, most other people were fine.

I didn't enjoy this series so much as I enjoy getting an enema.

You looking for a continuation of that cool OVA thing? Then keep looking, vampire weeabos! Unless you like it or something... read more

Oh Lord, how did this homoerotic pile of swine managed to be created?

Now, there's nothing wrong with homoerotica. But there are many things wrong with this anime.

For one, it should not have been made. The story is as crappy as the ass of a 300 pound lardass after eating ice cream topped with curry.

Art is horrendous. Ugliest bitches ever to be drawn, really. And the sound? Rather smash my head into a wall and listen to my ears ring.

As for the characters, we have the totally not gay (pfft...sure) guys doing completely not gay things like saving the world and kicking butt (and making sweet love to them as well). They are lame characters. If I had a choice between dying or having one of them save me, I'd kill myself first.

Awful series, awful everything. Not one fabulous thing about it and it was so gay anyway. What a waste. read more

Cheaters never win. They just end up banging a lot of chicks.

White Album is a true life story about what it means to be a guy in the real world. In fact, a lot of people will say that this anime is fake and that there is no way that, how many were there, three, no, SIX girls would want to jump the bones of Joe Average, but you know what?? It's real, kids! In fact, it helps a lot when said loser in question is a big tool. Girls like that stuff. What success that the main character of this anime is a big douchebag.

So the story is about a guy (I don't remember his name, whatever, that wasn't important) who has a pretty girlfriend and just because he doesn't get to see her everyday, he decides to make use of all the other girls who are crushing on him. Instead of rubbing one out every night or just breaking up with the vapid, ignorant foolish girlfriend (who is a singer), he decides to scam on her body guard, on her co-worker, on their mutual school friends, and on a girl he is tutoring.

This is probably the most realistic drama/romance storyline I've ever seen because you know what, kiddies? People love to cheat. What's even better about this story is that everyone knows that Touya (right, that's his name!) has no backbone and they KNOW he has a girlfriend, and yet they all lure him into sticky situations. Damn, poor Yuki! People who she trusted go on to stab her so hard in the back. It is so fabulous to see these girls watch Yuki in the face and feel vague amounts of guilt about it. Hardcore. And Touya, the lucky bastard, knows she is that much of a insecure loser to stick with him even if he does decide to cheat on her or not.

Art is pretty good, though they kept sticking in these stupid watercolour bullshit in the middle of thing. It was pretty distracting and I don't know why they even bothered to do it. And the music was all right EXCEPT when anyone sang. Good God, no wonder Yuki and what's-her-face are mediocre celebrities--their music sucks.

What brought this whole anime down was TOUYA. Oh unfabulous heavens, was he such a pitiful snivelling LOSER. I swear, he cried more than the girls did!! Instead of just growing some balls and dumping his girlfriend who he doesn't even see and just settling on one of the girls he sees all the time and clearly wants, he keeps on dating Yuki and doing awful crap to her. Hell, he took time out of his day to go give a present to a chick who secretly hates his girlfriend and doesn't take the SAME TIME to see his actual girlfriend? Can you be more of a wang, Touya??

Yuki is a moron. Leave it at that. Any other girl would know that when you catch your man giving other girls presents, when he doesn't pick up his phone, when you're calling him in the middle of night and he's not answering (most likely because he's sucking the face of one of your "friends"), then he probably isn't that into you. But no. Idiot.

Then all the other girls are whores. No kidding. They disregard Yuki, they ignore the fact that weak willed Touya has a limp dick and would hump them like a dog in heat, and they come up with all sorts of schemes to break the two of them up. But what makes them interesting characters is that they pretend so well to be innocent. In fact, they disguise their cunning bitchery by second-guessing what they're doing, but the fact is they still end up ruining people's lives because each one is a selfish succubus that wants Touya. Why, who knows, because he cries like a bitch over everything.

White Album has an amazingly real story about shitty people messing up each others' lives. Man, what a wonderful thing to witness. read more

Anyone can bother to tell me wtf this anime was about...?

Madlax is about a girl named Margaret with constipation problems. So badly is she constipated that she cannot remember who she is or her past. On the other side of the continent is the solution to her problem: a nice tall drink of Madlax. Madlax is another amnesiac who doesn't know how to count by twos or tie her shoes, so she tries to remember by killling lots and lots of people. Eventually, it turns out that Madlax and Margaret are linked in some way, and no, not because they're both kinda gay. The story makes no sense, and the ending makes even less sense.

Bee Train makes some okay looking crap. This is one of their better looking piles of crap. Art and animation looked fine. Sound is okay, mostly because I don't remember it.

Now, we got the amnesiac, the hot amnesiac, the amnesiac who remembers stuff, the amne--you get the point, right? Characters = FAIL. None of them know who the eff they are, it's like watching the three blind mice try to look for a peanut in the dark.

Madlax is not the cure for constipation because it will make you feel stuffed up and unhappy for its duration. Don't watch it lest you have chronic diarrheoa and need to be backed up for a while. read more

How did they even manage to make 49 episodes of this poop...?

This terrible anime follows wham-Ban-thank-you-ma'am and his moronic Naruto-esque sidekick Genji as they have an ENTIRE AGENCY dedicated to find stuff. Lost your girlfriend? Lost your teddy bear? Lost your mind? Sure, whatever, they can find it. Don't ask how they can find it, but they will. This story is pointless and idiotic. How can you expect people to find crap? Anyway. It was decent until the point where you realise that they got magical powers. Yeah... So the Wonder Twins use their godly powers to find people's missing crap. Form of: crappy anime!

The art and character design is stereotypical and bad. I mean, I said it before, I thought I was watching Naruto grown up or something. Sound was awful, except for the ending song. That was pretty cool. No, wait, it was the opening song, my mistake.

And let's see, Ban is Sasuke and Genji is Naruto. They now use their awesome ninja skills to find people's missing junk. The End.

I waste my fabulous time on a lot of things, but this was definitely one of the worst. read more

A samurai. With an afro. And they point it out in the title, like watching his head wouldn't be noticeable enough.

Anyway, this is a pretty butt kickingly awesome anime about a samurai. While this samurai does not want to know what's the up with the mother-f*cking snakes on his mother-f*cking plane, he does want sweet, smelly revenge for the decapitation of daddy Afro.

Art has some cool fight scenes, like in Samurai Champloo, just more violent. The sound has excellent hip hop origins, so that's good too. So is Samuel mother-f*king L. Jackson's voice.

Afro and the dude who is his annoying sidekick never grow or change, but damn aren't they funny and cool, anyway.

Watch Afro Samurai. Mother-f*cker. read more

Whiney emo kids unite! There's an anime JUST FOR YOU.

Does society not get you? Do you often feel ostracised for being... different? Have you many dark, terrible secrets? Is the person with whom you are incestuously in love with a vampire?

Then don't look too far, we have an anime just for you!

If you like to bitch, moan, cry, feel dark and deeply in love with yourself, then Vampire Knight Guilty is just the trick.

No coherent storyline to confuse you (Lestat knows you are so troubled anyway, why stress you out with a good storyline?), no character development (see! Nobody is gonna force you to change or, you know, grow the hell up!), no entertainment (why would you want someone to smile when you're bleeding on the inside anyway?)

Vampire Knight. You'd be GUILTY if you don't watch this *winks* read more