| People will always be people, even if you met them online or they live far away. You just have to make sure to physically move somewhere closer to them once it gets serious. Don't force them to keep interacting with you over the internet for too long. They'll get bored and will probably seek intimacy with someone closer to home. And I mean, how hard is that anyway. It's the 21st century and you live in a first world country. If you like them that much just get on a damn plane. |
| We can dance if we want to. Web Development and Programming: The sexiest place on earth |
Meokii said: My waifu is from Scotland, my baes are from UK and Canada. They don't know ok so pls don't tell them or it'll be a real big drama. ... |
| I'll admit I did it out of curiosity, it was just for fun anyway, no feelings involved(at least not from my side), just chatting and some calls by Skype, but I confess one of them ended up getting "serious". I won't talk about the "serious" one though... it was a huge drama. |
I luv u |
| Don't go aboard this ship. |
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winmac32 said: People will always be people, even if you met them online or they live far away. You just have to make sure to physically move somewhere closer to them once it gets serious. Don't force them to keep interacting with you over the internet for too long. They'll get bored and will probably seek intimacy with someone closer to home. And I mean, how hard is that anyway. It's the 21st century and you live in a first world country. If you like them that much just get on a damn plane. Just visiting the person isn't a problem. The problem is taking the relationship to higher places after that. So you meet the person, then what? How often do you meet? What do you do when you want to live together? Do you abandon your current life? How will you support each other? Where will you get a job? Do you stop your education? And more. Because if you're just going into the online based relationship, with no intention of considering any of these things, then you shouldn't be getting into one. The security of meeting someone who lives near you is all these questions are a non-issue. You don't have to stop or change your life priorities in such a major way because you live in proximity enough. The heartache from being crushed by the sudden realization of these things is a lot. Especially if you think the world of that person. If you do, make sure you're ready for a roller coaster. Online relationships are brutal for both of you. Don't be surprised if you want to stop, or the other person wants to stop. Humans aren't made to be satisfied with a person on a webcam forever. There's only so much you can do with someone online. Good luck. |
| ^ Speaking from experience? |
| The only way I see a long distance relationship working is if you have a open relationship. But IDK I've never been in one. |
Tachii said: ^ Speaking from experience? Yeah. What people don't realize is that an online relationship doesn't stop when you meet the person, much like how a relationship with a person near you doesn't stop at the first date. If you want it to continue, you need to put different priorities forward. And those priorities completely contradict normal relationships. Someone has to give up a lot. Friends, family, comfort. |
| My girlfriend told me she couldn't go very long without seeing me without becoming depressed and probably wouldn't be able to focus on school, so we ended up going to the same college. We are both happy and we do things like study together or go out to meet people, and I still get my personal space and time. I have to hear about how basically every guy on campus wants to bang her, but I guess that means I ain't doin that bad. |
Cause- said: Tachii said: ^ Speaking from experience? Yeah. What people don't realize is that an online relationship doesn't stop when you meet the person, much like how a relationship with a person near you doesn't stop at the first date. If you want it to continue, you need to put different priorities forward. And those priorities completely contradict normal relationships. Someone has to give up a lot. Friends, family, comfort. So true, and there is something else to it, even though the cultural differences might seem irrelevant at first, eventually those differences will grow bigger and things will end up being harder... Basically, unless you both really love each other at the same level AND one of you is rich, the chances of make it works out are really low or zero... |
| I luv u |
| Well I think it wouldn't work because it's very easy to hide stuff from the other person and those hoes might not be loyal |
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| I don't really think its possible. I have waifus al lover the planet though. |
 |
| Yo supercolin, this is a deal of a lifetime. The world opens up when you know people from around the world. Take it from me, I live in Tokyo, one of the business capitals of the world. reps from HK, SK, SG come and go but you can make connections if someone says that they wanna be your girlfriend, why not say yes. its better than bathing your sister every night. you could bathe that sexy japanese body. Those tight corners. Those broad hips. That voluptuous figure. |
| ~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig) |
| Doesn't work. |
| Doesn't work. Unless one person is willing to visit the other then it would be like any other normal friendship having the title of boyfriend/girlfriend. |
| Recommend me an anime |
renzbiohazard said: Doesn't work. Unless one person is willing to visit the other then it would be like any other normal friendship having the title of boyfriend/girlfriend. Visits don't address the ultimate problem. You can visit a person all you want, but that doesn't mean you're in a real relationship. The problem is when you want to take that relationship seriously, and start going steady. But to do that one person has to basically give up their life to move. That's why they don't usually work. Not because the distance, but the sacrifice involved. |
| There's a difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and marriage. Both are "real relationships" though. So I'm not really sure why that need to be nitpicked on. |
Tachii said: There's a difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and marriage. Both are "real relationships" though. So I'm not really sure why that need to be nitpicked on. There's two goals of a relationship. Either you stay together, or your break up. If you have no intention of continuing on the path of "together", then why the hell are you in a relationship in the first place? It's not nitpicking about the relationship status, just the ideology of growing the relationship. How long is a strictly online relationship warranted? At some point, one of you is going to make a sacrifice. A huge sacrifice. The abroad relationship goers mentality don't look at these things. They just are too high on cloud nine to think logically about it. If they are prepared for the difficulties, who am I to tell them it won't work? But these things are real. And you have to consider them. They can work, just not in the way people assume. |
| It definitely isn't easy by any means. There's a lot of fucking restrictions you'll have to deal with. Take it a step at a time and it'll turn out just fine. If you really want it to work, it'll work, otherwise you'll deal with a lot of other shit and excuses. I'm praying for all you love birds going through that shit. And hopefully it works out for you. |
| Well I'm not even sure if it counts, but yes I have edated someone kinda. If, by edate, it means saying lewd stuff to each other, and doing stuff like screensharing hentai and posting pics. By that definition it's really just light teasing, nothing really serious. Besides, now that I've moved to the same country as her and I'm only a few hours away, I wouldn't even call it long distance edating anymore. Hell, I wouldn't even consider it a serious edate. I'd meet her irl, but most likely not for any serious relationship or anything like that. I've fapped to her before tho >_< I've never experienced actual long distance relationships myself, but I have seen it happen to two friends of mine, a male and female. They were actually dating irl, but had to move apart from each other due to work and family obligations, and the distance was really painful for the both of them. Eventually, they both broke up. So yeah, if you're going to be separated, it's best to break that relationship apart before the hole in your heart becomes wider. |
 |
html said: I've had long distance relationship with someone and I met him while on WoW. It lasted for 2 weeks but it was enough time for him to give me most of his gold and items. Apparently it's wrong to make a female character. Oh well, whatever. Hahaha This happened to my friend once, lel. |
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Stalker-tan said: Compared to what? And when words like "significant" is involved, are there data to back that up with? Or else it's really just inferences people are making. Considering how much relationships fail in general, regardless if it was online or offline, it really comes down which is worse right? I'm sure I'd agree it's rarer to end up together online, due to distance reasons, but that's just my inference. I don't really know if it is true.Mashiro-Yuki said: Interesting how many people think it's impossible... I mean, you guys realize it HAS happened before, and worked out, right? Certainly not impossible, but significantly harder. Cause- said: Not everyone looks ahead when they're in a relationship. So uh, actually a lot of people are in a relationship just to be in the moment, or maybe to the near future within a few months. They don't think if they want to be with them 10, 20, 40, 60 years down the road. Does that mean it isn't a relationship? Of course not. It just means they're not looking forward longterm as ideally as you might look forward on. It just means they're not ready to call them a fiance. I just find it odd you'd not call something a relationship just because they aren't looking longterm down the road. And I'm mostly talking about broadly of relationships in general.Tachii said: There's a difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and marriage. Both are "real relationships" though. So I'm not really sure why that need to be nitpicked on. There's two goals of a relationship. Either you stay together, or your break up. If you have no intention of continuing on the path of "together", then why the hell are you in a relationship in the first place? It's not nitpicking about the relationship status, just the ideology of growing the relationship. How long is a strictly online relationship warranted? At some point, one of you is going to make a sacrifice. A huge sacrifice. The abroad relationship goers mentality don't look at these things. They just are too high on cloud nine to think logically about it. If they are prepared for the difficulties, who am I to tell them it won't work? But these things are real. And you have to consider them. They can work, just not in the way people assume. |
TachiiSep 23, 2014 10:21 AM
| There certainly is a lot of areas of research that can be focused on. We have couples that were formed initially online and became close distance, to couples that were initially formed in close proximity that became long distance, to solely relationships that remained close distance, and those that solely remained long distance for X period amount of time. p-value of 0.05 is usually used when its studies on people, since 0.001 can easily be practically irrelevant, due to the inherent rate of error involved. But even when it's your own experiences, haven't you seen and observed close contact relationships fail a lot? Because people realized they didn't have any long-term goals in mind? Or that people immediately realized personality incompatibilities? Or that they realize they were only in it for the sex? Etc? With how likely a close distance can fail, is it still reasonable to say long-distance is "much harder"? There seem to be pros and cons of both. |
| If relationships with physical contact fail often, how do you think relationships with no physical contact manage? It's just common logic. They aren't impossible. They just take more to make them work. |
| I don't think it's "logical". Though I can see how it might be common sense. But there's cons and pros with both. The obvious cons to loads of physical contact is people confuse love with lust. Or your lust confuses people from seeing obvious incompatibilities with another. You usually get that less with a long distance thing. Sure, you can still cyber and all, but the emotional aspect is still likely more invested than the other. Of course, that's just my personal inference. Oh and yeah, I agree if you're like 10 hours away long distance, that's just not going to happen unless one person is rich. But if it's like a 2hour ride by car?... hmm. |
| There is no pros to abroad dating that in person dating does not have. It's exactly the same, minus the physical distance. And that's why it's harder. The mental aspect and emotional aspects are considerably greater with distance. The loneliness is tougher. And the struggle to make it work is harder. |
| You might want to put a bit more thought to it. But since you brush it off as having no pros this quickly, I doubt I'll get anything across. |
| Enlighten me then. You can't even use the "we have so much in common" argument because I can do the same thing irl by walking into a club or something that interests me and meet people who have my same interests. Like if I like anime, I can go to an anime convention... and meet people... who like anime... and live near me. Maybe find a nice girl. We date. Oh man sounds good. But let's say I meet a girl online. She likes anime, we're countries apart. We decide to date online. What pro is there? There's no more pros then the in person one. There is just one more con. Distances. And that's just at that stage. Later on let's say after you meet a lot in person, you want to live together. Who abandons their lifestyle? Who leaves their comfort? Jobs? Careers? Academics? Again, I'm not saying it doesn't work. I've personally made it work before. But the reality is it's much harder to maintain an online relationship. |
| Have you tried doing that? Finding a girl in a convention? Found out that you were compatible? Actually went on a date? Or went to a bar, and right away, found someone with similar interests? It's not as easy as it sounds. Going to a random club bar is easily the worst option to find someone with common interest due to how utterly random it is. You'd need to engage in a lot of superficial bullshit conversations, trial and error, before you even find someone with similar interests. On the Internet? Information is everywhere. You start a conversation because you knew something about them whereas if you're going to a bar, or even a convention, you know nothing about them besides their looks. In general, on the internet, you're much faster and easier, generally more efficient, to find the right person to talk to. Starting a relationship online, really the primary con, as you said, is distance. The plus side is, it allows people to pinpoint who they think they'll like with much more accuracy than meeting them randomly in a bar or in a convention. Ironically, the distance card can be seen as a pro for some people. Because it allows people the possibility to meeting someone who they might really end up loving whereas 100 years ago, they would've never had the opportunity if they were confined to their limited physical boundaries. People would usually go for the "good enough" option, than the "closest to ideal" option back then, since the latter wasn't even possible. This possibility for the "closest to ideal" option or just having more opportunities than limiting yourself to things close to you are pros that people might prefer in online dating. For countries that are right next to each other with simple immigration policies, the distance issue becomes even less problematic. I'm thinking neighbouring European countries, Canada and US, etc. Sure, there is some sacrifice with moving, but with how mobile we are these days, I'd imagine this con will become less and less noticeable. It's also safe to add here that only a certain type of person would make this type of relationship work. And everyone, at some point, would want a more physical contact due to whatever reasons. I would add I wouldn't recommend abroad dating if it was like a 4-12hr time zone difference. That'd just be ridiculously difficult, not even because of lack of physical contact, but you'd struggle to even talk to each other with different time zones. |
TachiiSep 23, 2014 3:37 PM
| It's a terrible idea, almost never works. |
Immahnoob said: They say Jesus walked on water. People are made out of 79% water. I can walk on people. So I am 79% Jesus. Sourire said: I once fucked an apple pie. |
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