Panzer Dragoon

Okay, this is the review for Panzer Dragoon, an OVA adapded from a videogame with the same name. Now, I haven't played the game, but I wanted to see this anyway, just because of its absurdly low score. And the only reason i rated 4 this anime on my list is because i want lots of other people who seek bad anime to see this masterpiece.

First of all, don't try searching it subbed, it doesn't exist. Probably the only version is the English Dubbed one on youtube, but it's worth it.

The Plot is exactly the same as what it's written on the synopsis, and, ... yes, it's bad. It's Absolutely bad. But it's so bad that you will laugh the whole time. It's full of awful battles, clichès, plot holes, stupid characters and everything else.

You can see this OVA in two ways:

-Considering it an anime like another, and judging it as the giant piece of crap that it is.
-Knowing that it's gonna be awful, and laughing at every single minute of this. There aren't many animes that will make you laugh like this.
GO WATCH IT. NOW.

I think people are being too harsh on this anime. Is it good? Not really. Is it worth your time? Probably not. But it's not some horrible piece of trash.

It's based on a video game that I haven't played and only vaguely heard about from Segata Sanshiro commercials, so maybe it would have helped me enjoy this more.

The main issue with Panzer Dragoon is that it feels like I decided to watch the final episode of an anime without watching the rest, but it's the only episode out there. There's no context, no lore, no character introduction, no development or progression.

I think it had potential, ... like maybe it would have been a decent 6/10 anime but it's like I said, it feels like watching the final episode. If they only had to make one episode, why did they decide to make this? What prompted them to do so? It's just my theory but I think it's the ending of the game and they decided to turn it into an anime for fun. At least that would make sense.

Also the dragon feet make me uncomfortable, it's just one claw. It's probably painful to stand on that.

What it must have been like to be in the Production IG offices that fateful day in 1996, when Panzer Dragoon was greenlit. The incredible high must have been euphoric...

WAIT WAIT WAIT, stop the presses. Ladies and Gentlemen, I kid you not, this odious dumpster juice smoothie of an anime was made by a company you might have heard of... I don't know... PRODUCTION IG?
Yeah, that's right, the same ones responsible for, you know, the insignificant Ghost in the Shell series or maybe the slightly obscure Attack on Titan? I can't believe my eyes.

There is no story anywhere nearby to be rated. -∞/10

I ... do have to give them a score of "decent" (and that's generous) for the art. It looks 90s, and it's every bit as abhorrent as a no budget drivel anime should be.

The sound in this turd is the utter definition of phoned in. I think they literally called the first 5 english speakers the animation studio could think up off the top of their head and had them do their lines on the spot. You can hear crap in the background and the "voice actors" scratching their heads at how preposterously moronic the script was. If it wasn't directly pulled from a fantasy themed mad-libs book, I'll be shocked. -10^∞/10

If I had to rate this on a scale of "I'd rather tear out my brainstem, carry it to the middle of the nearest 4 way intersection and skip rope with it" to "Mars of Destruction", I think I'd choose having a pound of boiling hot meth injected into each of my eyeballs, being run over by a dump truck, chopped up into pieces, fed to myself, then have my head put in a vise, and be shot into space and suffer explosive decompression than have to experience this again.

I don't know if this was a cheap cash grab or what, but it's definitely part of the reason SEGA keeps digging Sonic of out of his shallow grave to parade his corpse around for some more money.

This one didn't get the Sega Seal of Quality. (Look that one up, kids.)

"Kyle, for this tale to be told, one of us must survive"

Well, unfortunately, I am the only one that survived. What's worse than a piece of crap? One whole shit, which is what this is. 1/10.

tl;dr

+ Don't
+ Waste
+ Your
+ Time