The Never Ending Necessity of Talking to Animals, What Story Idea Hasn't Been Done Before
The Creators Excuse to Exist, and the Death Threat Ultimatum
The origional form and intent of storytelling wast to guide, lend a hand, bring new insight or a fresh perspective. To help make sense of the world by the unknown so-called secrets of there within. How to circumvent or at the very least mitigate the inherent darkness and randomness of the wide world as well as the human heart. This in turn is what drove the age old prophets of biblical times and even is what was indeed the inceptual foundation of even all religions. The very first storytellers in history that came along long before media and artistry ever had the luxury to come about. Had the opposite transpired the world today might have been very fundamentally different.
Though modern civilization has vastly expounded and in several ways gone astray from this origional ideology almost entirely. Mainly due to the proliferation of show business and all-consuming, en masse marketing. The bastard sons of corporate capatlilism and niche craving, over the top advertisement and market necessities and obsessions.
Regardless though of how storytelling has now come to represent much more. Stringing off in innumerable objectified pathways and carrying much, much more controversial baggage with it's label than ever before. It doesn't really in essence detract from or degrade the creative force or impact that by design story's have largely had and will always in some respect have till the end of time. Since at the end of the day this inevitable change only helps to grow the varying scope of minds on both the creating and receiving ends of the spectrum. And in any field or aspect of humanity, it only ever counts for a plus towards progression.
Returning to story's origonal prospects of offering new takes, ideas, or helping hands. All for the unknown, the uncertain, the chaotic, the inherent and inevitable. The relentlessly recurring shadows of the conscious and the subconscious. It's the never ending and unseen, misunderstood, and largely incomprehensible struggle to balance the internal world's within ourselves vs the playing field of the universal external. The cause vs the effect that plagues and forever tests our desires and needs to improve in spite of ourselves. Yet simultaneously for ourselves. Even if we would try to fool ourselves into believing we didn't truly want our deep rooted longstanding desires.
It's the essential driving foundation and motivation of most of the arguably well reknown and timeless story's in history across all span's of time, cultures, genres, and mediums. Oh but there certainly a big exception to this rule. One that is goins to be the focal point of this tale. It's roots woven in centuries of old tradition that finally came to a head in the last century. Yet still lingers on in smaller, yet no less trivial or damaging forms. And that form is called, yeah you guessed it buddy, anime. Now just bear with me on this.
It all sprouts from the pre-imperial expanionism days of the samurai code and feudal lordship-servant relationship and lifestyle code and ideology and practice (owarimonogatari the most glaring highlight of this). One that is very similar to it's historical western counterpart with many surface elements. It's the prospect that there is no self-serving. No tolerance for weakness in any form under any circumstances. The repression of your truest desires, the uttermost zealous, even self-destructive hard line devotion. Total utter uncompromising belief in your elders, or unchecked oppression from them.
The collective, even cultural subconscious, longstanding effort to totally suppress if not entirely eradicate all that is unsightly, disgraceful, unrefined, and ugly about those beneath the graying generation and class of society. Particularly those of the largest youth generation by nature (Deeyah Khan cryptic anno agenda parallel). Especially with each successive new generation now set to be smaller and smaller every decade. With a national population decline reported and estimated to be in the tens of millions in the coming decades. A percentage outlook that is unmatched in modern history.
All of which were reluctantly forced to be influenced by the colonial western expanionism and so-called “colonialism”. Rather than let japan itself as a nation be a pawn, a servant to others despite the irony and hypocrisy of itself. Yet rather than japan progress in positive ways by giving itself an introspective look. It decided to resort to something just as misguided and irresponsible as being a mere collective pawn of the west. It decided to remain stubborn and stuck in it's outdated near suicidal ways.
Sadly at the same time try to usurp and prove boastful, petty superiority to the early 20th century west by becoming an extreme and fanatical version of them. They had become a literal caricature. Not out of necessity mind you or by inherent design. But as a dreadful result of staying the same. By not maturing as a nation. By deliriously and fanatically sticking to pride and honor, the hero complex. The offensive, defensive, and combative mindset and lifestyle code books of humanity's wastefulness. Therefore all along stemming real, true, honest change and progression.
Early 20th century japan had in fact regressed in every form and facet it possibly could have as a people. Onwards from the outset of the IJE it kept merely becoming ever more delusional and hysterical in it's by then nearly forgotten and thoroughly distorted and tampered long overdue malpractice ways. They kept just spinning their wheels. All for the sake of avoiding the actual reality of the situation. To ignore or perhaps even subconsciously deny what it needed most. A nation wide institutional, grass roots movement. A behavioral change of habit. A reality check in every way.
One did happen though. Through far too much suffering and the most irreconciable and harrowing conflict in modern recorded history. Yet again an irony that the very mindsets and so-called pseudo philosophies of feudal imperial japan ahnialated itself. It just took outsiders to recognize the glaringly obvious failings of their lonstanding pathetic and knock-off ways. Since they themselves had already matured from those same relative mistakes not too long in the earlier decades.(Well for the most part at least.)
Despite the fact that japan had now been forcibly given the ultimate opportunity to fix itself for good from the ground up, inside and out. To include every one at last in a united progressive future from then on onward, no holds-barred, it didn't. It deviously put on a deep-rooted and subconsciously ingrained facade. One that applied self-proclaimed beauty, formality, dignity, and outwardly aggressive restraint to the harshest and darkest of places and strenuous circumstances. It put on an external, superficial cloak of modernization and so-called cooperative westernization. Deep down though sadly it remained essentially unchanged, virtually and metaphorically stagnant and delusional.
It took these rotten, unspeakable ideologies and drove them in the deep recesses of it's brain, it's infrastructure. I don't mean physically in any crucial sense either. This stagnation was either silently accepted or gone virtually unnoticed by the passing post-war generations on a collective conscious level.
Until that is when they surfaced in the form and manner where it can be the most exaggerated, caricaturized, noticed, focused, and condensed. But above all the most easily and universally recognized and understood as it really is. As a very deep-rooted, festering, longstanding, internal worldview problem. One in grave and dire need of immediate readjustment or overhauling before it all goes off the suicidal deep end.
Of which anime was to become the lead driver of this fateful turn of events. Since after all by design anime was as an overall medium in and of itself “maturing” faster than the audience base itself was over the coming decades. After anime came to true fruition, by finally having it's own real identity say in the 70's. Post golden era disney anime had to finally just move the hell on and become more than a copycat with a stylistic tweak.
Not to mention the global cultural youth movement (yet again another western outside unrelated influence) in the 60's that led to the en masse youth student movements everywhere. Of which laid the crucial 1st spar to total maturity and introspection. To a real national self identity with which to build on for actual, meaningful, and tangible cultural progress.
Over the years this all finally came to a decisive head with the landmark and absolutely groundbreaking franchise evangelion. Anno and the whole creative team fully understood all their national long-standing crises. As the gendo mouthpiece said himself, he will make sure to kill the ill false god, the pseudo evolved form that is modern japan, that Seele, his predecessor's organization and government, the elders, wouldn't or couldn't. All for the sake of the race of child evas trying to cling to any kind of national identity that can manage to for the slightest inkling of hope. (Of course along with some cool influences like godzilla, ultraman, tokusatsu, 2001 space oddysey, space yamato, giant robo, miyazaki, tomino, and dune.)
Yet the most extreme recluses and and circles of society that are the (at least then) anime fanbase in japan just weren't ready to hear all this. (Even though essentially story is about overcoming mistaken beliefs. Regardless of whether that misbelief did happen to ring true or play a helpful temporary role at one crucial point or moment in someone's past.) Hell it even took a reboot, and a virtual spin-off, dragon dentist, to do it.
As well as anno resurrecting the masterpiece Gojira 54 and melding the best parts of the origional idea for the character and overall legacy and with what made Eva seem to work over and over again. With shin gojira being the latest example and culmination of a decades long movement and focused effort that finally drove the point straight home with no room for error. It just took more than 2 decades to get there.
After all they both use the Omni and Famously songs to the exact same effect. It's just that omni is a more positive outlook in shin gojira since it's a half step closer towards the white conclusion that will be 3.0 + 1.0. (Whether this is all a sign of a stubborn audience or just sloppy storytelling I'll leave up to everyone to argue like hell over.)
So who in god's name can guess what the hell 3.0 + 1.0 will cover or attempt that hadn't already been done, rehashed, or improved in either EoE, 3.0, Shin (Would you like me to report on and highlight those malpractice cultural/generational institutions, and isolationism by digging through that pile of highlighters as Maki Goro? Or show you the soulless, brainless, eyeless, demons on that tail representing the emotionally backward and immature ways of old that still rule and haunt the present society yet still?
All that could respawn and create a new monster to finally have enough sense to at last tackle that gradual building self-made and self induced national crises!) and , Dragon Dentist (Of which took a lot of motifs from the 1st half of EoE that Tsurumaki co-directed. Motifs that weren't surprisingly rehashed, stolen, or rearranged whatsoever anywhere else yet.), Zankyou no Terror, Psycho Pass, Eden of the East, No Country For Old Men, Arrival, or the Kizumonogatari films.
Particularly though when we look specifically at the likes of the kizumonogatari trilogy, eva, and the psycho pass film. (Especially the collar concept that's used in a similar limelight to 3.0. Quite honestly to me psycho pass as a whole is a mixture of eva, standard urobuchi ideology, common IG cyberpunk political thriller, and blade runner, deep down. In addition to urobuchi also borrowing from anno by expanding upon the early 3.0 scenario to lay the groundwork for gargantia.) They're hitting anime and it's base over the head for to finally wake up in it's entirety. To once and for all give up on age old falsehoods.
Now there is one aforementioned other prime, penultimate example I've been trying to get around to focusing on. That is the Kizumonogatari film series. Unlike all the other noteworthy influenced works or creators out there in modern anime (TG, Utena, AoT (It appears so far anyways, we'll see if S2 has anyting to say about that though), Rahxephon, FLCL, Eureka 7, Full Metal Jacket, etc.) Nioisin and this beginning/conclusion to the smash hit runaway franchise Monogatari. Kizumonogatari I understood the deep seated, singular, overarching idea that Eva had drove it's team to slave away and nearly lose their sanity so much for, for so long all too well.
You begin with the prologue sequence. The thick, hard barked, over grown, half dead, pale tree standing in desolation as the pinnicale of a cram school that's been long deserted or discarded. It's a sign that the institutions currently at work are not serving or providing any helpful service or teachings. At least not for real collective maturity or national progression. Then the tree itself is reflective of how the governance and ever-graying generations that still drive (or lack thereof) the nation's lifestyle habits, institutions, politics. As well as excessive, methodical, lifeless, and demanding ways are in actuality fruitless. They should have been discarded and left for dust long ago.
Then you proceed with the entry shot of the protagonist appearing out of an elevator behaving anxious, dazed, and combative towards any light source he happens by. Yet simultaneously searching for a lit doorway to the outside. This illustrates that our protagonist is indeed not a person in the literal or strict literary sense. But rather a personification of the key main, ever pervasive, underlying concept that will support the overarching principal theme. It will then drive home the pivotal point in the proper specific context in the end.
He is reflective of the still running aged national ideology because he's anxious about meeting, facing, and accepting the outside, the reality of the situation. He's dazed by how the system at work is failing to form him as a personality in society. By how he's instinctively resisting any glimmer of light. Any element outside of what the nation feels he should be taught. Yet Aararagii (thematic goodness) still trudges along with all his strength depsite the lack of a proper foundation or preparation. Since he subconciously or deep-down knows it's ultimately, regardless of the circumstances the right and only thing to do.
Next we proceed to him getting outside into the courtyard on the roof. He is confronted with a swarm of crows. All in precisely the exact same color palette as his clothing. He appears standoffish and detested by them. He then stands among them all the while a charcoal black cloudy overcast looms.
Then a rainbow reflection as the sun appears. He turns bright red, catches aflame, runs in desperation, falls off the building. While simultaneously the crows flock to the half sunlit skies in an emergency response. Then araragii(thematic goodness) falls down and burns in the sun's rays. With a closing pan shot of the national flag partly shadowed by the clouds.
This all exemplifies a 2-way parallel yin/yang metaphor in a sense. That while the youth there today might be concerned. They're confident enough in the system's that be will carry them someway, somehow towards a better future. While in actuality they're going into their careers and “adult” livelihoods utterly unprepared for the long-term reality that will await 21st century japan.They're all on an instinctual and very warped internal level stopped dead in their tracks. Still indeed in a nation of nothing but children. The kind who'd gladly buy a porno in public rather than risk the troubles and trials of an honest relationship.
To follow is the climax of not just kizumonogatari, but I feel for the franchise as a whole. It's undoubtedly where Nioisin's base point is brought to full and total fruition. In all it's top of line, revolutionary swaths and gorges of golden animation. All that will hopefully be used to shape motifs for anime in general on the level that the eva and the rebuilds have managed so far.
Here we find araragii confronted with Kiss Shot Heart Under Blade(thematic goodness). She's limbless and at first demanding and even commanding him to only help her. Our protag unwilling to get involved. Yet approaching all the same with overwhelming hesitation. Though he ends up fleeing in panic and then telling himself that she's a vampire, a monster, that he'd die.
Yet in the end accepting the chance to help all the same out of duty in some way. While stressing over it in desperation the whole way. She then pleads for him not to help, but to save her. In the process of starting to save her, he says how did it come to this. Araragii says he hopes to be reborn as someone better. Then we fast forward to the closing shot of him saying he'll bear it. He'll bear that weight no matter what.
Her being limbless is seemingly a parallel to japan being at a standstill. Araragii then representing the youth of japan unable to face this reality. Nonetheless ultimately mustering up courage to confront the national crises. That despite how much the youth generation today might want to either, a) have nothing to do with politicians, or a major national concern or dilemma, or b) just be idle and let the forces already at work be and just try to be as selfish and lively as they can before entering the despot that is the japanese workforce. That really only the young can bring about proper and adequate longstanding sustainable change for the betterment of the whole.
Now I'm not sure of the time frame precisely here of exactly when, and what parts of nioisin's manga series actually started and finished. Or if even kizu was actually the first part to the series or not. But if it really was then monogatari then gets all the credit here for crafting this idea before even eva did. Hell in that case the rebuilds might have even taken it and most people wouldn't ever realize it.
Pretty much in every way, kiss shot heart under blade serves the exact same purpsoe in kizu as rei ayanami seems to in the rebuilds. It's just much, much more apparent straight out the gate with monogatari then it is for rei until 3.0. The surface distinction being that blade is maturing in forms in a rapid pace (possible near exact Shin Gojira parallel concept anyone?) at last thanks to the cooperation of the youth. While the ayanami version is a bit more intricate and way more rough around the edges to try and explain. But hey here we go anyway.
In the origional gainax eva, anno had supposedly origionally planned on rei to be a case of schezophrenia. But didn't quite fully follow through with that idea. For the rebuilds however he expanded that concept from a character mindset or trait drawback into a specific, conceptual personification. One that appears to try and express the viewpoint of modern day japan in it's entirety as a case of comprehensive nation wide schezophrenia.
Since there was indeed change brought about by the origional eva within the realm of anime creators. But not with audiences and the realm of politics outside of that though (If it even should). At least not at first. With the rebuilds (tossing aside for now what the origional may or may not have been aiming for overall) though anno made damn sure that by the end of it that we'd understand two very cruical character arcs. Sadly at the expense of the rest of the cast that elevated eva that much more. Though it was a cost I guess they were willing to sacrifice to get this particular message across this time around.
Shinji is the anime industry itself, and the multitudes of rei are basically japan personified. Which makes the color code for evangelion as a whole make much more sense. The origional's black being a failed attempt with a hollow, short-lasting exterior result only. One that despite it's best focused efforts, caused more damage than it did any real lasting good. Hence the “curse of eva”. Then 1.0 and red for a reexamination and rebreaking of the same stubborn, longstanding, immature problems yet again.
Orange for 2.0 with all the mistaken beliefs,misguided efforts, and new misbeliefs that arise are used to try and solve the problem by themselves. All of which go up in flames. Then 3.0 with blue for the actual reality of the situation and the agenda and changes that are truly needed and that have been long ignored finally coming into the fold to have it's say to tray and fix all this. Therefore 3.0 + 1.0 (where are you) with white for the inevitable solution unfolding before us at last in a way that finally will be unmistakable. Anime will finally get the happiness it was aiming for in spite of itself after all this time.
So just by examining the color scheme in and of itself we have shinji's arc essentially covered. Though for rei it's more tricky. Now I'll go ahead and claim that I don't think rei was any wide conceptual idea in the origional. Yet for me still somehow a fantastic character despite never being finished or fully realized.
We have the “origional” rei that is only existing to have bonds and being the main protector and closest bond to shinji. A parallel to the idea that japan and anime are more intrinsically linked in a lifeblood relationship than most would probably consider. Especially when looked at from the timeframe of post WWII up to today. Neither could have likely gone on without the other to depend on and help shape the other. Even if it leads to some major hiccups, struggles, and disasters along the way. As is the case with the ending scenario of 2.0.
Though with 3.0 the real ayanami, the real true identity that japan wants and should have isn't there anymore. It's frozen away waiting to be fully implemented at long last. But's the concensus along with anime itself (shinji) aren't collectively mature enough to be ready to let that happen still. So gendo (anno) came up with the only plan he could have. To be as harsh as possible to force it to happen as soon as possible.
With the remaining empty, useless, and soulless clones in 3.0 being the reality vs the ideal of what the post pacific war decades till now have really summed up to. It's not at all what it once set out to be. A sign alluding to the possiblity that japan had just merely been replicating and rehashing itself. With all it's overdue fraudulent and stillborn foundational practices and mindsets.
With the animator expo eva short until you come (hands on anno work) and the very end of the animator expo episode, cassette girl (by long time eva franchise/tsurumaki cohort and recent dragon dentist writer), to me being the most apparent nods to this hidden agenda so far. An ironic little tidbit to mention since rei was evidently the most popular character in japan. At least back in the origional's airing days. Anno even going so far as to gesture that domestic audiences wouldn't ever like a character like misato.
If the evidence of what's inside eva itself wasn't enough. Then the fact that anno's main creative influence (besides miyazaki) was yoshiyuki tomino's UC gundam 0079, zeta, and other early works. (A Baua Qu imagery in the end of 3.0 anyone?) (Which A Baua Qu was already in and of itself an allegory for what the Battle of Okinawa meant for japan then.) For the most part all being a thematic parallel to WWII and trying to comprehensively moving on from it's lessons and bad influences. Anno being the next creator in line to carry on the torch yet further and for longer than tomino ever did. One not being any better than the other. Just a different and in my opinon better focus on the internal core problems still lingering.
Though there does happen to be an auxillary subplot that's much more universally understood and is also the groundwork for the subsequent sequels going forward. One that is more in line in line with the very standard and personal character behavioral focus. An individual tale with extra strings, interpretations and varying takes through supporting characters that all tie in to the core protagonist struggle of his incomplete, fraudulent, or misguided ideals.
A typical, tried and tested, individual tale rather than a collective, conceptual, personified, or in this case a national one. Though no less impactful, essential or beautiful for it. It's a quintissental tale of helping and working around people's inner or otherwise controlled or hidden mysteries. They're darkness, weakness, limitations, instinctual as well as subconcious desires and fears.
No matter how much of yourself you may lose in the process of interaction and relationship building. No matter how little measly reasoning or motivation you can bare to muster up to have a bond with someone. Even it it's just fleeting. Even if it only ends up feeling like a whisper of wind passing by in the storm of time. It's still worthwhile and can be just what you need in almost every way you can think of. Don't fret yourself about just how naive, inept, or broken you feel you are.
Even if they only somehow manage to scrape by feeding off of others. If they aren't seemingly responsible enough. Or aren't emotionally stable enough to be independent anytime soon, or perhaps even forever. You must help. Sacrifice for them unequivocally. Stab them in the back while they're sleeping from now on. By destroying a part of them and in turn a part of yourself through necessity and the best of intentions.
It's going to be inevitable for everyone and anyone at any point in their lifetimes. Just create a new you. You craft it homemade yourself indirectly through the help of others. Others who also want to depend on you to do the same. It's necessary, basic, scary, chaotic, risky, confusing, and all worthwhile through and through. Since despite of your inner demons, internal errors, customs, beliefs, and values butting heads. In spite of whatever neurons you may no longer have working. Or that you're just wired differently from the get go. It's always a burden worth shouldering. No matter the cost or how long it takes.
Now I'll admit that this line of thinking and ideological slant I have for this franchise. Or indeed it's apparent like minded companions both past and present will never be widely agreed upon. I doubt they'll ever be considered credible. Perhaps I'm just overthinking all of these gibberish claims and possibilities purely out of passion and obsession's sake.
Besides most, me included in many past cases don't absolutely need any grand, subversive, or long-standing agenda they insatiably crave from our most beloved creators, studios, and collaborative creations. Since there are and always will be key insightful and universal touchstones. All of which at some inevitable point or another may not in fact change anything. Whether it's something tangible that we'll pick up on. But it can sprout a seed that will linger forever onward, on some level or another.
Stories in all forms, genres, mediums, and age groups will never derail off the path of instilling either meaningful or necessary instinctual, mindful, deep-rooted, or long-held off changes. The intent for all is never any less relevant or needed than any other. Make no mistake, storytelling, beneath all the innumerable varying forms and surface moldings that can ever possibly be imagined or twisted in a different angle. Are all concerned about only and only ever two core agendas (or if they're not then they've done it poorly or they should be). Regardless of of interpretation, circumstance, or genre.
Those two pillars are emotional intelligence progression, and the uncovering and reevaluation of long-held and long-withstanding mistaken misbeliefs and or unwritten and unseen lifestyle codes. Individually or collectively, of any scale or any timespan. Since the the only absolutes throughout and even long after the pain of the experience itself has long abaded and withered away, are clarity and discovery. Within yourself or all along cold war battle zones and possible heated debates that are social interactions.
No matter how much our separate and disparate lives, mindsets, and worldviews have been morphed, dulled, or tested to the limit by the roles we've ended up at in society at large. It's always applicable and feasible for all unequivocally. Without question or hesitation in all cases if we just try hard enough to actually let it.
Though yes, there are endless alleyways of interpretation. Or differing facets and takes on a subject material or theme. They must always return to the principal overarching foundation that drives every “What If” scenario possible or ever thought of. That element that enables creativity and hard fought intent to go beyond itself. The penultimate point of subjucation and longstanding universal desire that can in multiple ways reach out and grasp anyone, anytime, anywhere.
One resting on the age-old pillars of the internal vs the external. It's the core struggle of the concious vs the subconcious to manage our perspective. It's entirely emotional. It's not a problem at all or even directly revolving around intellect. It's the self, selves personified, or personalized finite concept vs reality itself. A tale humanity will always need whether it wants to admit to it or not. No matter just how much civilization or technology progresses. Since they are both designed to alleviate and escape the hard truths of ourselves to begin with. You can't change the conceptual fact of intent. It will exist and play a central part no matter what happens from then on.
I realize now that understanding and relating to to a driving central story point is by nature supposed to be all-encompassing and ever prevalent in notable ways. So therefore easy to notice in the universal sense. But there will always be those off road slants and natural inclinations. All typically tipping towards the niche and all too controversial realms of politics, religions, and cultural, racial, generational, or national identities. Since identities individually by themselves are hard enough to place and strictly define. Then when you expand out into the collective subjective conscious of belonging and purpose the issue is blown up upon a million fold over.
Now should these treacherous, exclusive, and divisive stopgap measures, inadvertent inclinations, or happenstance detours actually ever be explored in storytelling? Have they ever actually been before in real, visceral affecting ways? Should it even matter to consider these things? Can their stubborn mishaps of an ever-evolving (for the most part) global network somehow be gradually twisted and turned by the likes of story?
Will there ever be anything more than protests or off-hand discussion by the select number who even care for this aspect? As an aspiring, off-kilter, bare bones yet maybe just maybe to be rookie storyteller or at least something in the likes of it. This isn't really my main concern as of yet. Though I do accept that being able to easily and readily relate and understand a helpful tip or starting point from storytelling isn't so straightforward. It doesn't in actuality really mean it's feasible for everyone and anyone to be able to really apply it in reality.
Just as I'd imagine every creator, story maker, artist or even fans and viewers alike. It's an extra part of the puzzle we all will always be getting and looking forward to to some degree. Though it's one that isn't just a very refined and focused form of indirect yet poetic communication. One that's seemingly only lending you and anyone else a hand for the long haul. No it's a request to you. Not the other way around that you'd expect. The story isn't just trying to offer a warning, advice, clarification, peace of mind, and reassurance. Or even a reminder of something or people in general.
Now it's not just exclusively showing you something to revel in. But rather pleading for all of us to make an active difference to an origin of troubles not in the strict sense of ourselves or our immediate day to day surroundings. A difference to make that's on an all too conscious and intentionally active plan of hands-on movement of change. It's not implying or instilling any unseen or subconscious change for you individually. It's asking us all to make a very aware and immediate start to public change.
All you have to do is be totally open to trusting, accepting responsibility. Looking at it in several and or both ways, and just not giving a damn. Now go out there and make a self-sacrificing, self-destructive, moral quandry. Yet boundless, active, and all too deliberate. Hopefully to be progressive movement in spite of ourselves. As long as it's not for the common pitfalls of convenience or someone's else's words in and of themselves.
After all nothing hurts more than trying to bridge an inherent gap with others through a conscious effort. Especially when being truly selfless will never be possible due to the walls of our hearts. Even if the end result to any event or outcome is always an open door to something else of your endless choosing or perception. But hey, change in all it's peculiar and ever-widening shapes and sizes should always be fun to step up to the challenge for.
So go knock all yourselves out for as long as you can muster. Just make sure to never, ever forget the little lessons and people you struggle with and over in the arduous process. Experience should always be more than just a deep lying, subconscious, alarm clock in time of need. You are more than just a story to be told and remembered. You are a life, never forget the meaning of that.
Be willing to sacrifice and better yourselves for everything yet to come. Say what you feel deep down more often (but not too often there dingus). Don't leave hangups, possible loopholes for others, and half assed interactions sole because you felt the need to not give too much away about yourself. Even if it bites you back or hurts those you never would have intended to willingly. Even if you realize that you misunderstood the actual root intention in the first place.
Being hurt, hurtful, and mistaken can always lead to a positive purpose if you just think over it enough. We are all one, even it it can't ever by total. The beginning and the end are all in essence one and the same. So stop putting of recurring inevitabilities just because they're tough to accept in the moment.
They're almost always going to be universal for everyone. It doesn't matter if it's easier or less of a priority for some than others. Trust is a fine tuned and arduous balancing act and the ultimate responsibility for all the afflicted in the group. So don't find excuses that let you fool yourself into not willing or wanting to believe and accept trust. Think in terms of curiosity rather than defense, opposition, or even survival for that matter. More so than any goal, achievement, dream, or hope, though of course never leave them entirely on the back burner at any point either. Learn how to calibrate that ever shifting balance.
It's that small fraction you see of an aspect of a person. That you thought nothing of at first that has boundless more significance than any plan, life strategy, or set destination ever will. Think in terms of cause and exchange instead of the mere reward of an after effect. One that you'll just try to trudge straight through with all that gutso, pride, and confidence. Life shouldn't be about a damn payoff, gift, or bucket list. That in the moment nothingness is the very essence of experience and indeed the human condition. Nothing grandiose, epic, or far reaching really. No legacy or historic moment of global shifting.
So start graying those precious head hairs. Shedding that ego. Bask in the muddy water and smoldering heat of mundane, drawn out, endless causality of the sun who couldn't give two shits about you. Like I said the beginning and the end are indeed one and the same. One's never any more complete, rewarding, fulfilling, or lasting than the other. So just keep crawling to the next problem in the never ending list.
It may never make everything easier, and nothing will ever make complete sense at any point over any specific thing. For us individually, the enemy is our own hearts and minds. Both of which will forever be shadowed by infallibility, incompatibility, and incomprehension. All on very deep-rooted, ingrained, and other disturbing levels. As for in society (as personified by all the bizarre, ever present, and ill defined angels), the enemy is unclear, and out of our own reach to ever fully grap and understand. All we can ever do is try and tackle with it when it swurves our direction on a whim.
Still if we don't ever use the worst and weakest parts of ourselves. Along with the the mistakes and stopgap measures we left only half done externally in the world. Then the turn of our ultimate fate and greatest revolution and revelation we call storytelling will have all been for naught. Let's not betray the best of ourselves and let that happen. By letting ourselves think little to none of absolutely everything and anything around us. Just don't forget to be downright selfish and stupid in the process. You gotta actually live a little too.
Each and every measly and insignificant benefit will take away just as much as it gives. It's just up to you to numb most of it out and take your pick on what best suits your fancy. Or what'll help most to soothe our concerns, fears, and typical day to day dandriff. Regardless of your medicine thought the consequental stain in your mind will bear the full brunt of the effects at some point. So better to just take the high road in an action sense. But open up your mind more as a counter balance.
Not to lessen the the actual damage, but to better understand just why exactly it was forced on yourself or your involvement. Then use that key knowledge, perspective, and line of thinking to make an important difference down the road somewhere. One that you can then forever appropriately understand for not just yourself but others and accept it full circle.
As long as you're not running away from the actions of your own deeds. Even if you weren't the focal point or even the root cause of it all. Your effect, take on it, on hand knowledge, bais, particular tolerances. In additon to varying fears and beliefs are just as crucial in the all out hectic process as anyone else's. So just barge right in and get involved before they know what hit them.
One way or another it will eventually do some kind of good for someone out there. All you have to consider before then is that life till the end of its days will have two permanently set, definitive, and objective orientated pathways. No matter how much you spin or look at it differently. Regardless of the subjectivity of people at large or their collective creations around us.
No matter what, you'll either arrive at the wrong answer to the right question, or come up with the wrong question yet end up with the right answer anyways. All that'll ever stand in between them is interpretation and inherent fate if you can accept that idea. So throw all those ingrained and institutionalized talk of it all being about end goals, strategies, plans, or destinations.
Till the end of your days you'll be thrown out and catapaulted from your comfort and saftey zones. It doesn't matter if they happen to be constantly changing and fortifying the useless base post. For yourself, others, or on a even grander scale, time and weather, both internally and externally, will always have something to say about it in the end.
So in turn all I can say is to build a flexible, not too entrenched, ever renewable, all consuming, long term root system. One that can try it's hardest to forever vary it's uses and lines of reasoning. Even if others don't at all like what they see or comprehend at first on the surface. The long term payoff and progress for the whole collective will outweigh anything that could just maybe some day ever possibly be recognized or understood entirely in all aspects and regards.
So go ahead and build those innumerable hazy bonds. Even if you don't want others to be hurt. Or to be misunderstood. Or to forget your efforts and intentions. Even if you think you may know better than to get involved with them. That you seriously fear and despair over the inevitable shadows, walls, and the hazy and fineckey silver linings of the human psyche.
Let go of that self inflicted helmet over your mind and psyche. Stop spinning your wheels. Stop figuratively pointing weapons at others. Don't dig yourself a trench or foxhole to try and pretend to protect your feeble self with. Stop shielding yourself from the inevitable overwhelming struggles of society at large and from the mysteries of others. It's not the fault of others that is ever the cause. And should never be a concern of yours to fret over anyways by it's very nature.
You won't get away with building off my problems and misery. I'll ruin g-fest forever for you. Either way someone is going to have to die from this. But it'll be from my hands, not yours. I'm either going to force you to literally kill me for this or I'll make you see it yourself. You gfans don't get to do this half way to me and then walk away gaining off of trying to destroy someone that didn't mean real harm to anyone. Forget everything else I just want you to finally feel sorry or to show your true selves when you won't be expecting it. Says the brat animal instinct within me that I'm fighting with.
I won't ever be falling into any trap answers your trying to manipulate and pressure me into accidently letting out. Or trying to force out a more honest or natural side of me that you are dead set on believing is still there in hiding. I'll never give into to any unseen, implied, or possible demands that are being let on(or not). I don't feel that would be an honest or a realistic representation of who I was, am, or are trying to move towards desperately despite the past year. Either accept this, find a different way, or be prepared for more risk and tragedy to get involved, in person this time.
I understand the others side well enough over everything I've inadvertently or haphazardly done. Make no mistake, I don't think I'm talented, special, better, or even decent in general still as of yet. As a fan, writer, person, or most of all young adult. So you'll just have to move on if you just can't stand my existence even now, regardless of whatever reasons or mistakes you basing them on. Otherwise I'll feel forced into trying something more risky and reckless to bring it to a final closing at long last. That'll be on gfans for taking it to that extreme. Don't even try to mock or troll me into thinking it's somehow not. It'll be pointless by this point.
Remember from now on what you were willing to do to someone you knew couldn't cope with it and keep their sanity by the not really end of it. No karma, justice, vengeance, cyberstalking fun, or virtual murder is worth the price in damage this could have the slightest chance of doing to someone. Says the naive monster within me that I hope won't get its way with my self anymore.
Be wary of unchecked honesty and positivity. You'll lose the ability to read others and the ability to see through and control your own internal struggles over time. And accept that what you can do and what you feel you should do will forever be at odds. The world within ourselves as well as how we manage and tolerate various circumstances and internal/external factors will always be uneven, unfair, and constantly shifting.
All these stopgap measures, detours of regression, animal instincts, and childish backlashes against the broad and unforgiving scope of progress do nothing. They only go to show that all combative and aggressive signs of hatred towards fellow man all originate from fear. It's always been fear of reality's hard lined honesty and utter indifference that's led to conflict and animosity towards others on every scale and line of excuses ever devised. At least those from idealistic and emotional standpoints.
You can't just simply save others by design. It's the very opposite in fact. You must destroy a part of them so they themselves can work through their own problems. It's all about introspection and working around ever and only ever yourself. After that step is in motion everything else falls into place in the emotional sense.
By that stage and after enough times of repeated tough experience. You'll just innately have a light enough barrier to not outright block. But to filter out all the trivial nonsense bullshit and outright hatred and deceit that gets thrown your way. To be ever vigilant and acutely aware of the meaningful experience and life lessons yet to come. Or the help that's truly needed of others. Whether they are aware or are willing to accept that consciously yet or not.
Just get the hell out there and don't give a shit if you appear disgraceful, dishonest, ignorant, disagreeable, hostile, or short sighted. Or hell even shallow in and all throughout the messy process. Just bond, hurt each other in equilibrium. Fail to totally understand as much as possible. Make a figurative lasting stain on others ever present thoughts. Just don't try to actively shape or control how you end up affecting others.
Just leave that up to introspection, tolerance, compromise, and respect of the complexities you will never fully comprehend. (Unlike how we've collectively had a piss poor track record for applying or even commonly outright ignoring that same basic technique onto the objective external reality around us for centuries.) (Hopefully the same doesn't won't apply for the wave of internal cognitive and biotechnical sciences going forward.) (Don't want to irrevocably compound upon the already overbearing innate problems with the subconscious's dangers and mysteries as it is.)
There's no overcoming or being liberated from endless suffering. Which is really if you view existence itself as a cause of a recurring equilibruim of cause and effect chaos and accidents. Then the only true way to safely define what is real and what in fact is fabricated or merely part of the mind's makeup is to judge whether it can hands-on suffer or not. There's only understanding the methods and the open acceptance of how to best utilize it in the back of our mind. Do right by yourself if nothing else, and in turn others will be tempted to bear that same responsibility in turn for the betterment of all.
Always accept and realize that whatever you may believe you were trying to accomplish will always be lost to one degree or another on others. You will never be entirely understood. Even if neither of you ever come to realize it or never appear to be hurt by that fact. Though you most certainly can be totally misunderstood. For each of our individual quirks and fears there will always be a loss for words at times and in return for others to understand.
There will always be figurative minefields between the hazy and toxic walls of others and in the blood soaked and stained society abroad. As long as you are willing to take the risk of having others behind your back. Then you'll at the very least by the end of it have enough of yourself left that matters to you to rebuild your sense of being, and your heart off of for the next inevitable round of utter turmoil and soul searching.
Force interpretations everywhere and anywhere. Try to guide, and effectively. And in turn never underestimate the power of others hardships as well as overcame or accepted vulnerabilites. Make sure to steer towards a type of change they're pretending they're not ready to make just yet. In the end the very worst you can do in good faith to others is force a choice, change, or possibility they haven't yet thought of or done. And what's more essential and fundamental than that?
Even if you've never been able to get along or be proud of yourself, and to have been tainted with near lifelong self hatred as I have. Even if you accept that these rash measures are just excuses, malignant shortcuts, deeply-rooted escapism, and entirely self inflicted insecurites. (Though knowing that doesn't in any way seem to make being openly vulnerable any easier.) Really what matters much more anyways is to be responsible, live up to your fundamental obligations, be grateful, and have willingness to be constantly open about yourself, towards yourself. Of your opinion of yourself. Why you think you are what your are. How to best use what you feel you can control and also can't. In the moment and for the long term. For others benefit by mitigating your demons, subjective tunnel vision, and ingrained misbeliefs if nothing more.
So to take all this full circle. Really for the longest time anime may never have actually helped at all to rebuild and change it's base. It's only stemmed the core problem on yet even further. It's just in a form that nobody was expecting it to be. But is it now? Can it ever? Will the youth end up burning down the whole village just so they can finally feel the warmth and fresh air that their elders and superiors have been denying them, however they can? Is storytelling just a glorified hobby? Are tales merely dreams? Is all this actually at any point ever going to make a real difference? Are they catalysts for enlightenment? Or are they only memoirs of our worst parts?
I don't know but thank goodness the idea is definitely seeming to spread in recent years. We'll just leave it up to the discretion of those who feel the need to care or wish to see it that way. Now where's that final Madoka film god damnit(I'll be waiting exclusively for your take on this in the coming months and no one else). Oh.., right.....Buckle up butter cups.
Don't go forcing this upon me please. I don't need this to be the death knell that finally makes it all go over the edge. I don't want to literally die like that. Not like this. I'm not ready to give up and die just quite yet. I hope you don't want to have to see that either. If not then even more dangerous ideas will have to get involved. If I feel that I deserve to truly die and never be loved by anyone then I will do it on my, and only my terms. At least after I've struggled a little more for at least a few more years. Accepted otherwise.
I can't undo it either way now. Only throw away the effort. I don't see how I possibly ever can. This isn't a mindset problem, it's a symptom whether you'll buy that ever or not. It'll take a lot more than what you all can ever throw at me. It'll take years to totally remove myself from those misdeeds. The internet and social media just won't make a dent in a lifetime's worth of misbeliefs, fears, and lack of constant decent social interaction and awareness. Regardless of whether it's doing it out of a progressive purpose or for it's own satisfaction. I'm not swayed really by whether you know for certain what I'm talking about. I can't ever fully move on without at least trying to do something while I still have the chance. Before it drags out for too long for me to bear anymore.
Is this actually an ultimatum? Or a strategy, outright mistake, or just another stumbling block down the path? Therefore I took a form I could sustain. Still better than perishing. I don't have the time or patience to even try to humor your petty disgraceful bullshit delusional juvenile chitchat. Do you seriously think I'm ever going to believe by this point that it can make the slightest difference?
Dear god just make me stop(not happening). Just shut the hell up already damn you. God I wish I could kill you. I'd rather die then get along with you. Do you even know what you're doing or why you're doing it? What even are you? Who do you think you are? Where are you going with all this? I don't know whether to beat you, mock you, or just let you self destruct in public shaming and stigmatizing.
Ummm.....whaaaaaaaat the hell?????! What on earth do you think you're trying to go on about there??????? Screw you and your ego. Stop it, just stop, dear lord quit it! I'm sorry for having to have put so many thorough all of my own problems in the worst of ways without realizing it until far too late. If this is the last step of progress I try to make on this then fine so be it. I won't try to stop myself from going through with it anymore. Or maybe I will. Too political? Nope, still not there yet.
