I’ve been quite busy lately and taking a break from reviews, but now I’m back! What better way to celebrate than by spotlighting another shitty and obscure anime? Last month was the US’s first ever LGBT Pride Month, so why not celebrate by reviewing a terrible Yaoi title? No, I’m not going to review Boku no Pico! This is the much more obscure “Boku no Sexual Harrassment!”
Yaoi is a genre of anime and manga in which extremely stereotypical gay men have sex for the viewing enjoyment of heterosexual women. It turns out there actually does exist a genre of manga written by and for gay men, but that genre is called “Bara” and is considered too niche to warrant an anime adaptation. As a heterosexual male I have never bothered to watch or review a Yaoi before…until now.
Many movies have been spoofed and criticized for having poorly written female characters and male authors that don’t really understand how women talk and act. Boku no Sexual Harrassment on the other hand, is written by a woman with ZERO concept of male conversations, behavior, social customs, or basic anatomy (she thinks male anuses self-lubricate and “get wet” like vaginas). This actually makes the show rather hilarious as I will explain below.
“Story” (more like list of sex scenes):
We begin our amazing tale by introducing our twink character, who I swear to God looks like fucking Italy from Axis Powers Hetalia! Italy just got a job as a software developer for a major Japanese company and happens to have a huge crush on his boss. His boss is some dude that happens to bear an uncanny resemblance to Hajime Saito from Rurouni Kenshin and is voiced by the same VA as Jotaro in JJBA. I’m dead serious! Fortunately for Italy, Saito is also gay and thinks Italy is cute. Here is where the hilarity begins. Saito is supposed to be the “bear” gay with a design ripped off a badass character and voiced by one of the manliest voice actors in existence. Yet he is constantly delivering lines that you would expect from a shy girl character like Hinata from Naruto! The sheer dissonance hits like a punch to the face and creates some comedic moments. It’s like watching Clint Eastwood give a steely eyed stare and then utter, “P-P-Please notice me sempai!!!” The dialogue in this series is so bad it shifts from gut busting hilarious to physically painful.
Sex scene 1:
Saito decides to have his way with Italy during a business trip. Saito thinks it is cute that Italy wears pajamas and decides to fuck him. Sure, why not?
The next day, there is an important business meeting and the CEO of another company is an old gay dude that wants to bang Italy. Saito pimps out Italy to this old man in order to “sweeten the deal” and get the old man to buy more computer units.
Sex scene 2:
Italy gets raped by a creepy old man. That’s pretty much the whole scene.
The next scene involves Italy’s co-worker who ALSO happens to be gay and has a crush on Italy because why not? This dude sort of looks like Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star, so I find it amusing how they made him a complete bitch. He finds out that Italy and Saito are an item and runs off crying and flailing his arms like a 5 year old girl. For some reason I just find a Kenshiro lookalike doing that to be utterly hilarious.
There is a time skip and we are told that Italy has been promoted to manager. However, the new president of his company ALSO happens to be gay and wants to bang him. Given the new president does look like Freddie Mercury, so I guess his sexuality isn’t that big a shock.
Sex Scene 3:
Italy gets double-teamed by Hajime Saito and Freddie Mercury. That’s a sentence I’ve never used in a review before!
Italy moves to America and begins work for another large company. Italy’s new boss is an American that oddly enough looks like Ladd Russo from Baccano. It takes exactly 1 minute after his introduction for Ladd to drug Italy and start raping him.
Sex Scene 4:
Italy gets sodomized by many foreign objects including a wine bottle. Then Saito saves the day and rapes Ladd with a wine bottle…which he enjoys. The author DOES know that wine bottle penetration isn’t a thing in the gay community right? I’ve heard of skinheads murdering gay people in that fashion, but never as a pleasurable bedroom activity!
After some sex scenes that would lead to hospitalization or death if tried in real life, our mess of a porno ends with Italy and Saito together.
The character art is decent, while the animation is…not so much. This is a low budget porno title, so I’m not exactly the artwork to meet Studio Ghibli standards!
Generic porno background music that you won’t even notice while the episode is playing, let alone remember after it ends. A stark contrast to the wild freestyle saxophone during the sex scenes from Kite.
While Boku no Pico is the most infamous Yaoi of all time due to its pedophilia, Boku no Sexual Harassment just may be the most inept. Given I’m hardly a Yaoi expert, but this title gained infamy as one of the shittiest Yaoi titles in existence long before Pico was made. The ludicrously stupid scenarios, the fact EVERY male character is gay, the horrible dialogue, and total obliviousness to everything about men make this title a true heavyweight contender for bad Yaoi champion!