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Just hiding in my mind I guess. 2018 hasn't been the best for me, but that's not new *shrugs*

Now you are not the slow anymore. Or will never be. I got an email from MAL about your comment in September and I was like "really gotta answer soon". I didn't remember that your previous comment was already from 2017 tho. I think I logged into MAL like one time last year in June. It's amazing that you even check in when I have been MIA for so long >.<

I wouldn't really call it a "good" reason to not watch anime or read manga anymore. I still enjoy it (or would) and it won't make sense to you, but it's just too exhausting for me to watch/read? Though there really should be no real difference to watching real tv series *shrugs* I mean even though I barely watched anything, I still always kept up to date with Gintama. But with the last two seasons I didn't even watch that. I still haven't finished the last one >.< (shame on me lol)
Well if you still watch and read and just don't update, that's not so bad now, is it? Even back in the day when I watched a lot it was sometimes annoying to always update.
I'm just saying you are more likely to get in contact with me through tumblr than here. In worst case we could always exchange emails. Photobucket fucked up, MAL changes things (as much as I can notice from not being around), tumblr fucks things up. It's sad to see save places change so much to the worse :((

In June 2017 I was still doing better. 2018 has not been well mentally for me. But also otherwise. Just to update you really quick. Around August 2017 a friend contacted me (for the first time in a few years) and we chatted and she was like "I'll come back to town and start an apprencticeship" and then asked about looking for an apartment together. Considerung I was nearly 27 and really could try it, I went ahead of course. Well in summer 2018 my friend was like "oh I dont really like this place and want to move". (She knew the apartment beforehand bc her brother and family lived there...) So yeah I was pissed. It was a lot of things. From there on it went downhill. Lots of things about the apartment that bothered me where actually my friend doing things or not doing things. You could say the friendship is nonexistent anymore. I was super lucky tho and got a new apartment (with good rent in regard to the size and location) from October 2018. Have been living since then here.
And work got worse. The only other full time employee left and the bosses didnt think it was necessary to get someone else and just fill it with two part timers (of which one is absolutely stupid and can't do shit). It has been super stressfull last year and at this point I'm just waiting for my trainee to finish and in summer I will probably start looking for some other place to work. Because even if I got a bit more money, it doesnt change the fact that the personal situation and everything else is so stressful and wont change.

So yeah, that's an update on work/apartment stuff.
I hope you have been better <3 I also wish you a (belated) Happy New Year and all the best for 2018 ♥

Ohhhh I can relate to that. I mean working at a lawyer's office I obviously have to do lots of phone talks. And so many people keep on talking and repeat the same things and sometimes talk about things that don't even matter and I'm just like "how do I kindly tell them to fuck off??". With family you more often than not have to listen. But I'm glad I see my parents at least once a week and my grandma calls me every three months or so and talks to me about everything for at least half an hour. With my sister I sometimes exchange messages. Thankfully that's pretty much for my private life phone calls. If they want to blabber about nonsense they can go to a home for old people, they would probably like to listen xD

Yeah pretty much the only thing I like about twitter is how you can keep up to date with projects etc. But even then most of the time the accounts tweet about a lot of other stuff too. So I rather miss out on something than have 85% of unwanted stuff to see. Twitter is good depending on what you want. And it's not really for bloggers, that's more a tumblr thing. Even tho I'm not really active on tumblr anymore either. Just messaging sometimes and putting stuff in my queue.

I'm honestly worried with all this youth around nowadays. Honestly we (Millennials) had a good turn to change the world for the better. But the generation after us has me really worried. Half of them will probably kill themselves before 25 at the rate they keep doing stupid shit xD Sometimes I look at people go "they are so mature with 12" and I'm like "are they really?" I played outside and with dolls when I was 12 and wasnt already pregnant and stabbing others. This world is a scary place >.<

♥

its been a while >_< what keeps you busy? :) :) :*

You just gotta call three times and I'll appear haha
-okay- is something that hasn't really applied to me since I was a teen
Just, ya know, without really watching anime or reading manga anymore, there's nothing much to keep me around? and then it's four months later and I havent answered again you can always check in on me on tumblr tho *g*

and while I'm here, might already answer.
how have you been? *hugs*
Since my last answer I have finished my second year at that awful workplace, was jobless for about three weeks and then got a job at the end of March and have been working there since then. It's tons better than before, though there will always be bad things and/or side effects that come with that job haha. Right now the other full-time employee is on vacation, so it's a bit stressful. Though just 7 more (work)days and I have two weeks of vacation too. Though I'm gonna help my sister with her moving places, so meh.

My teacher was telling me in grade 5/6 that I would get over my shyness and especially with talking in front of people. I didnt. I still hate and dislike it as much as back then. Some of us humans are just like that. There are some things you CANT get used to. And I hate it when people say that. I've been working this job (including apprenticeship where I was talking to clients from the very first day) for 6 years now. I did not get to like doing calls and getting them more than back them. I got better at dealing with stuff perhaps. I wouldnt really call it "got used" to it though. I think my depression just made me not care about it enough? Though if I have to make a call? Nu-uh.

You sound right there like all those people that don't understand shit about depression and the missing motivation it brings with it for the most of us. I physically CAN NOT get motivated. I need hours to get up to do a thing that takes five to ten minutes. If I get motivated nowadays, that's super rare and lasts for a very short time. I spend most of my weekend sleeping, because that's the only thing not needing energy, even though I'm more tired after that and just sleep more. I can't get motivated to do the things I "like" like reading or chatting, or whatever else. Never mind finding enough motivation to go do sports, which I hate. It doesn't help that I have no talents, I have no friends irl, I have no life goal, no future planned, nothing I see as worthy living for. Another person I know was like "when we meet I'll hug that depression away". yooo, dude. if depression was that easily be cured, no one would suffer from depressions. making jokes about it and not taking it as it is (a fucking giant mental illness that makes many people "sick") is really not helping us. I don't EVER want to make people get through it to UNDERSTAND, but I don't want them making "fun" of something, that is literally ruining my life and putting it as something, that could easily be cured with things as "going out to meet new people", "get motivated and do sports" or "hugging away the depression". I know it wont go away on its own, but it's not like my body cares.
seriously, my depression makes me not care about a lot of things and also not waste energy on getting angry at some things, but some things DO tend to rub me the wrong way lol sorry

I hate Twitter xD Not that I write much of my own on tumblr, but Twitter is so shortish? And most people share just too much? Though then I think how tumblr is not for you, I just get Twitter haha Not my thing. Mainly because I have nothing to say or really share. It's good that there are soo many sites tho.

True! We got the Playstation 1 used from my cousin when he got the second or third one. He had tons of games. But we just never really were that interested? I also prefered PC games or Gameboy because too me it was easier to play with. And usually there were not even a handful games I was interested in for each Playstation, especially if you could get them for PC. So it wasnt worth it to buy them, even used. And yeah, that's why after Playstation 1 I didnt play much.
Well as I still live with my parents, I couldnt really go and turn the living room into a gaming room xD Though my mom has the Wii and some party games.

and now I'll go to bed.

♥

PS: we are also turning 27 this year. are u feeling old already? we're getting closer to the 30, holy sh*t ._.

i miss you ^_^

You bugging me is the best way to finally get to answer stuff. And it also to make sure that it doesn't take for-eeeever. The last months were a bit stressful at work, especially because of people on vacation and other things...

I still haven't gotten around to getting a psychotherapist. I had the appointment with the psychiatrist and she was like "just try it. if you dont get one, then leave a message to call you back". Well yeah, I hate calling, I hate leaving messages even more. If I could pay someone to do stuff like that for me, I would.
Well the problem is that I dont want to do anything anymore, besides stay in bed and sleep. That's nice. Also a massive sign of depression, helloooo~
I never believed in medications either, especially because most dont give me a feeling as if they help (especially if you're sick with a cold etc). But I felt a bit better some days and the psychiatrist said I should take a higher (tiny bit) dosis now.
The worst is, that if you'd really want to take care of that "problem" and start trying different ways to get better (be it healthier food or meds or sport or going out etc), you need TIME for that. I work 40 hours per week. Im away from 7-7, get home, eat, shower, fuck around the internet for a bit and go to bed. And my weekend is for being lazy. Add no motivation on top and I cant get anything done, yet alone sit down to finding ways to get better or try it out. It sucks.

Well yeah that's what tumblr is about after all. Posting/reblogging stuff you like. That can range from fandoms to scenery pics to animals or videos or adult stuff. It's like a safe haven, and everything I dont want to see? I just try to blacklist it away. So yeah the messaging things on tumblr are not really made for writing much, but you can do it and if you have the time, it's really not that hard to get to know people and write with them.

Yeah true. It's kinda asshole-ish to just disappear. I mean especially if they kinda decide to stop doing whatever. Even a small message would be enough, they wouldnt even have to leave a goodbye video in your case. Sure most probably decide from one day to the next that they are "too old" for something or similar things and want to leave it behind, but just pissing off and letting other people worry about your disappearance is just mean.
Lol in that case she could just set her password back or get a new account :D But anyway yeah, I hope she's doing fine and it's not the worst case. I mean a lot of people die daily

I liked Playstation 1 back then well enough, maybe because it didn't have too many buttons or combinations yet. That's what I prefer PC games, I just can handle them better with a keyboard and mouse. It's weird, but that' just me. So yeah, still tho a lot of games I missed out on. But I got the time to pass anyway xDD Maybe when I'm old(er) and have money I get a room (like I saw other people do) and collect games and game consoles and just play hahaha

Well if you asked in August, that means you probably meant summer anime. So let's see... Orange, Handa-kun, Fukigen na Mononokean, Days.
And from fall season it's Haikyuu, WWW Working, NatsuYuu S5 (YEEEAH), All out! and Udon. Haven't watched that much in quite a while xD

*hugs*

♥♥

I'M STILL ALIVE SOMEHOW AND I FUCKING FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY or more like to log in SO HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY *HUGS*

Hope you've been well! I have two weeks vacation now, so you can expect my answer in the next days ;A;

♥♥♥

I'm still here :D

When do things ever get better for me. I had no luck and no motivation looking for a psychotherapist and my appointment with the psychiatrist next month is happening and just uGH. but what does she expect when I have no motivation to do stuff?? and work... well, we are going through the summer holidays so all of us going on vacation and it's more stressful, but could be worse (atm).
Same, but I think the combination of meds and talking to a psychotherapist would make the difference. I've been taking the meds for nearly 4 months now and I really dont feel any difference *shrugs*

Mh maybe Teen Wolf is just more popular among the teens and young adults over there in America as well? Who knows? Who cares *shrugs* Well everything after S3b has been SHIT anyway, even S3b sucked in my opinion, even though rating wise it was the most popular. So it's not like you'd really miss out not catching up :P
Also agreed on the ratings. Sometimes Im looking forward to watching a movie and see ratings on imdb or other sites and it's usually always higher or lower than I rate later haha.

Very nice of you ;D Sometimes I think that even if I'd die and would suddenly be gone, either people wouldnt notice or just take a while. I mean on sites like MAL it's a bit different, but on tumblr? If one person doesnt appear on your dash anymore when you follow 200 others? it's easy to let someone disappear into the back of your mind like that.
Or at least if someome cant be bothered to message people, leaving a comment on their profile that they'll be absent for a while would be enough too xD Sometimes it's so unreal with people disappearing. Like I talked to this girl (12 at first) and how she struggled with school and her strict parents, but she was amazing at creating stuff despite her age and I had fun talking to her, though I was like 19 already. She disappeared and came back for a short while 2 years later (she 15, me 21) and it was still the same. Well that was 2012 and she hasn't been online again. She turned 19 this year and this is a hella big difference to when we first talked, like she probably finished school by now and might be off to university but I have no fucking idea because she just disappeared she might be dead??? I mean I hope she's fine but it's sad when people disappear out of your life like that :'(

No, the only console we have is PS1, we never were interested enough in many games to buy a console. Well my mum got a Wii. I'm more into the small ones (GBC/A, PSP) and Computer. But the computer version supposedly sucks for DA:I? So yeah I dunno *shrugs*

*huggles*

♥

I know and it's good you informed me. One would think with the few comments I get nowadays, that I'm not missing any while answering xD So that sarcastic comment was even justified :D Especially when I said in my comment from November, that I might take a while, but wont forget to answer if I dont put it aside for months LOL /fail

so here goes the super late reply, so sooooorry ;A;

First off, hope you have been well in the new year! As mentioned in the other comment, haven't been feeling too well and work has been stressful more often than not too. But I'm doing ok otherwise. Probably mentioned it, but I figure I have depression. Well my doctor appointment with a psychiatrist was last week and she was like it's a long gloom phase where now a depressive episode (in the last year because it got worse) jumped on. Well she gave me some meds and I am supposed to find a psychotherapist. Also should stop having (so many) friends online and get real ones out there. As if it's that easy LOL
The last time it was still unsure if I can stay another year, for now I will. So till next year end February I dont have to worry, tho I have to start applying in fall.

Probably. I think it kinda hurts when someone around you in real life changes (for the worse) and you stand by and can't do anything but maybe walk away. With people you know online you can not tell as easily, as well if something's up or they are upset etc.
Anyway with that "friend" he messaged me on my birthday, saying we didnt write much this year (lol? barely at all?), why I sorted him out of my facebook friends, he has a new number and if I sent something to the old one, he wouldnt have gotten it (but also didnt see it necessary to tell me the new one?). Well from there I took the chance and said I dont really see us as friends anymore and so on. Well for now I sorted him as an acquaintance where I dont expect anything anymore. Told him he could try to stay in contact, but I wouldnt bother from my side for the time being anymore. Wouldnt message him of my own accord.

I honestly dont know. I mean around teenagers/young adults it's probably more known. I dunno if Teen Wolf is generally something "big" in America tho. Saaaame. You cant always trust ratings anyway. Sometimes I enjoy a 4/5 star rated something and sometimes it's worse than something rated with 2 stars. So meh.
Well generally if the spoken/written English is more or less daily words, then it's easy to follow. But like your own language probably has those "higher" quality words/more formal ones that are less likely to get around. So those are hard to understand, but most of all when someone explains something (and really fast too), especially including specialised knowledge. Like imagine a physicist trying to explain something to a teenager that you only understand if you've been studying that shit for 20 years xDDD

Considering how easily I write long replies, people would probably surprised how few I talk in real life. I mean /I can/ be chatty, but more often than not it's about stupid stuff. I think I come across as more outgoing online. Also that I talk bad about stuff than I'd do in real life, where I'm more likely to keep comments to myself. But in the end it's easier to do just that.

One disadvantage about knowing people online is in case something happens to them. Be it an accident, illness or just busy with school I think death cases are pretty rare or maybe just moving on from the internet time. You don't know if they simply disappear from one day to the next. I saw it too often. I also saw a lot saying they are gonna stay away because of school etc. So if people just disappear? It's worrying. I mean we move on but we still think about it. And it's not like you can really do anything about it :((
So yeah please dont disappear and have me get the cops involved LOL

So how's it going about catching up with Gintama? As I just noticed the last ep of this arc is next week. And then it will be the last for now. And probably second to last seasons if you can believe the rumors ;A; I dont want Gintama to end :(

Lots of people prefer DA:O. I mean it is a lot better in many ways. As I havent played Inquisition yet, I cant really say anything about it. Yes that's true. Especially when you see with many game series they are literally the same, not having much plot and maybe the graphic improves xD Maybe if DA 4 will be out, I will have played Inquisition at that point too. But as I heard that the computer version sucks for playing, I'm really hesitant.

*huggles*

First I wanted to say "rude comment" and then I went to check AND HOLY SHIT I actually did not reply yet. Not that doesn't happen that I take forever to answer, but I honestly forgot or through the holidays it got sucked in and it was gone from my profile to the next page. I'M SO SORRY! Have not been too well the last few months, so this really is not surprising tho :'(

So yes, the next year is accurate now XDD I will probably answer this weekend, thanks to Easter I have a 4 day weekend :3

Taking long is totally in. Like I'm no fashionably late until it's at least one month old haha
Nah, but I have my vacations now, so I'm sitting my ass down to answer |:< You don't have to feel bad about late answer tho, as said, we both are "slow". Define slow tho, if it's enough for us. There is no rush. And as long as I dont put it aside for a few months, I wont forget to answer >.<
Hope you've been fine tho <3

If government changes yeah. As if. They change what's best for them. I mean sure, they are freelancer, but they are more or less the same as a company. Earnings, taxes, employees. So why they don't have to pay people a minimum, even though they earn hella lot in average, is really beyond me *sigh* So no, I don't think it will change soon. But as said, if I could start at an insurance company or similar, I might be paid better :)) So thanks tho. For now I plan (and if the boss doesn't kick me out) to stay for that other year too and then look for somewhere else. Really don't feel like going somewhere else again already.

Nah. He made a few posts on Facebook and changed pics, so he is well enough to do that. Tbh if he would have gotten hurt, it probably be more likely he contacts me. So I guess it's just the changed (for the worse) and I'm not part of his life anymore. End of the Story. I mean friendships grow apart, people do, that's how life is. But that people just "give up" on someone as easily like that? When you've been friends for years? Well hurts. But indeed nothing left but to move on and forget them.

Yeah. But it's not like Teen Wolf for example is that big in Germany. Overall we don't have many Cons here. Most are more about anime/manga and games tbh. So even if there would be another TW con, it's not super likely for the actors I'd like to meet to come, because a) far away, b) they are expensive, c) my luck >.> Well it would be great, but I dont have to high hopes :D And I surely wouldnt go to the USA for a Con. Tbh even to Spain, Italy, France or UK would be too much of a hassle for a weekend. Especially alone >.< But I'll see.
I duno about that! But lots of actors have accents and lots of words are spoken differently than I thought they would, so it's always a 50/50 thing if I'd understand enough or not. But as said, Jurassic Park worked pretty good. I probably should just try it more. But then again more often than not I also watch a lot of stuff with difficult words and explanations, and following that by text is much easier :D

Well the other people I met online probably thought as well, that I dont give off annoying or boring vibes until they met me. But whatever. Though tbh the one girl (a bit younger than me) that came to stay for a weekend or so was different too. She was kinda shy, didnt wanted to eat much, even though my dad said it would be no prob to make something extra if she didnt like something. Her online self was super outgoing and I'd never expected that. She goes to a lot of concerts and so on and it really surprised me. I mean I'm super shy too, people wouldnt expect when they meet me in real life either, but not that extreme oO
Well at least I have a few people like you that enjoy writing/talking with me <3

Yeah, times fly past. Tbh I think you dont have to write daily or weekly to stay close enough/friends. I think if you write once in a while and can connect still just easily as 6 years prior, that's pretty awesome. We all change afterall.
Please dont say that D: I should probably call the police if I dont hear from you again! it's good I'm living with my parents, that way I wont die suddenly and stay that way for days or weeks until someone finds me haha. But yeah, if there comes the day I won't answer anymore, then it's likely that something happened, especially if I haven't logged in for weeks/months.

I hope you've catched up to Gintama by now! The new bamf!Arc will start next week!!! Can't wait >.<
That's how it is more often than not, isn't it? Either you are lucky and get lots of good anime, tv shows, books, fanfics, games in a row or one bad after another - and sometimes just mediocre stuff xD

Dragon Age is everywhere. Speaking of it, as my vacations are here, I started playing a bit DAII again haha. Missed it and got bored of just reading + watching stuff, but too lazy to look for new games. But I know where the name is coming from, so it's ok!

*huggles back*

♥♥

a month already, I should get to answering my comments soon haha

anyway, just stopping by to wish you a Happy Birthday <33
Hope you have a good day :3

the name change confused me for a sec, but your comment came soon after, so yeah, it was short-lived :D

I'm just giving you a random poke -a kindness poke- because I don't want you confused about my nick change when you're online again. Like that's a thing I barely ever do. But most people now call me Shuu anyway and a friend was like "hey, Shuu is unused and with the new rules about old unused accounts/nicks... want it?" so yeah *g* will probably go back to Hisagi-Chan tho :D

that aside, hope you've been well ♥

Hey, it's Babii, I totally forgot the site I used to use with you as a mod, care to link it to me? Not AC, the other one.

When we are both taking a bit longer to answer, are we really "late" then tho? :D More often than not I don't feel like answering stuff anyway, no matter ho much I like talking to people especially because people so rarely do ;A; so even if you'd answer me after a few days, there's still a big chance I'd let the comment sit around for a month, so meh. Try not to feel too bad! And if you'd answer fast and I still take longer, then I'd be the one feeling bad. As much as I can with my apathetic situation *shrugs*

Well the job itself isn't bad. But what it's turned into. I don't know how it's in other countries, but in germany the lawyers count as freelancers so they aren't bound to paying a collective agreement, so most of the paralegals get much less than you'd get if you'd work at a non-freelancer's place. That kinda sucks. Especially for all the work you do (more often than not more than the ones being paid after the collective agreement) and how much lawyers in general make. But I never really cared or wanted to become something specific, so I went with what my mother did *shrugs* Tho if I'm lucky I can switch to an insurance company. they like to take paralegals and pay after the collective agreement, so yeah, would be much better >.< but for now this place is better than nothing^^

I wouldn't classify my gfx stuff as "good", it's decent (half of the time). I give up too fast tho if it doesn't work out like the idea I have, so even if there would be more time, I probably wouldnt use it for getting better. But I guess as long as it's good enough to get around, who cares :D

Doubt he'll even be bothered. To be honest I expected him to come around like "why are we not facebook friends anymore?", because that's the sort of person he is (or used to be, as I didnt talk to him much in the last years, sooo). But as it's been nearly 6 months since we last talked, I think I can safely assume, he realized and didn't waste another second on it. Which is kinda hurtful considering we've been friends for years. But yeah, whatever. It's good I got away from that and just occasionally think about him.
Pretty much me too. I mean there are a few online on skype, but I dont usually talk to them. So someone telling me they want to chat and come online on skype is the best way for me too. though it's also easier to check if someone is online for chatting than messaging someone to come online there xDD but I'll keep it in mind. Rarely talk about things bothering me anyway. You can bug me too tho <3

Yeah, I just hope I'll ever get the chance to meet that one actor. It's not like we have many Cons in Germany as it is ;A; But will see how my luck goes. Seeing this year probably not well tho XDD It was fun yeah, the city wasnt as awesome as I thought it would be, but if you have someone coming in from another country, you gotta stick close to airports I guess :D also was worth it <3 Was also a bit surprised, that I understood Jurassic World in english pretty much completely. Because I have more trouble with listening to stuff than reading it.

Not on here, before that. It was some popular student website (that closed last year) and I met them I think through a One Piece group there. One actually lives close to my city and we met once to exchange mangas xDD But he was always a bit of a weirdo, so meh. But the other three where a girl, my first male gay friend (who brought me a big assed stuffed giraffe on the train) and the last the one last best friend (from above, who I'm trying to forget about). Though I met the last two more than once. But it's usually like they meet me and see how I'm annoying or boring or whatever not. Same reasons why I probably couldnt make many friends over the years on school either. Even tho with those online I could share anime/manga stuff. So yeah, I'm always waiting for a fallout after I've met them. It's not fair to new people, but if that's all I've known, I guess it's bound to stick with me :/
Being blunt isn't bad, it's actually rare if someone would tell you that they dont see how this friendship could continue. It would be a nice change tho. It's surely better than seeing how friends slowly slip out of your life. I mean sure, I could have always tried more, but there are two people that have to make it work, and if I noticed there wasn't a real interest anymore, I just let it go too. I honestly dont know if I'd bother saying outright that I'm not interested anymore or something. But it's not like I really ever had a chance to do that, as I'm always the one being left behind haha
Tho I'd like to think that you'll always stick around until you finally have enough tho <3

I actually put most stuff from my watching list to my on-hold list, because I lost interest and wanted to have it only with those I'm /actually/ watching xD currently that's Gintama, Gangsta, Akagami no Shirayukihime, Working!!! and Junjou Romantica 3. It's actually a pretty full season. Even when I still was active here, I was lucky to get one maybe two animes a season that were good xD

Yeah, my uncle and aunt are pretty tall, so their kids became too. My cousin was normal sized until he hit that growth spurt. It's frustrating when I'm just 1,62 and literally everyone is taller than me >.> it sucks with clothes being too long and not reaching stuff xD And the kids generation is full of tall kids and they start putting makeup on when they are 12 and I dont know what. it's so weird.