CrustyRolls's Profile - Reviews

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Nov 10, 2016

Dropout (Anime) add

Recommended

Preliminary (1/2 eps)

Have you ever texted your mates while having sex with a girl attached to a urinal? No? Well, Dropout has you covered. In all the ridiculousness of the first 18-minute episode, there are the makings of a pretty awesome hentai. I look forward to the coming episodes. I even vocalised at the cliffhanger.

The story is nice and simple, but has enough meat to not feel shitty. I also like the fact that there are just 2 girls, 2 guys, and no fucking harem (as of yet).
Crusty has noticed that recent hentai is coming slowly away from harems. Crusty likes this. The hentai is set ... in a school of the luckiest guys in the world and the unluckiest women in the world. The guys are each supplied their own woman to keep them satisfied so that they're more likely to pay attention in class. I know that I would have gotten better grades if I hadn't spent every lesson thinking about sexy sex. Why isn't this law implemented in real life again? Seems pretty legit. And I'm not just saying that so that I can be some smexy classmate's slave. Promise. So, erm, I suppose they aren't the unluckiest women in the world.

The art is weird. It's a lot like Fella Pure, so everything is nice and polished and almost looks like a legit anime, but there's always something wrong. In every single frame, someone's face will be derpy or someone will be moving with all of the grace of a stick insect. Some of the transitions were a bit weird, and one of them straight up killed my lady-boner. They overlay a woman's open mouth over her entire face before fading in the rest of her face in line with the overlayed mouth. It probably wont bother most people, but it triggered my PTSD from Pigeon Blood. So yeah, the art looks good, but the actual animation and faces in particular look weird. I know its the "hentai effect", but it stood out more with this show cause all of the art was so purty. It also is one of those shows where ALL THE SEX FACES ARE AHEGAO. So prepare your anus for that weirdness. And yes, the guys get some ahegao all up in there too (woot woot!).

Sound was awesome. No loli voices, so that was a nice change of pace. Although I was a bit salty that there were no flat chests, or even normal-sized ones, every girl has massive boobies. The areolas are also pretty big, but I don't care about that. I know some people do, though. So I'm informing yo asses. Aren't I a lovely person?
Dialogue was giggle-inducing but not so ridiculous that it was boner-killing. I had a good laugh.

I liked how simple the characters are. We have our main guy who is a bit of a sissy boy. The second I heard him talk when he was confirmed as the protag I was like "YES! GOD YES!" because we all know that Crusty likes a bitta dat boku. Then we have his assigned chick, who is like the school idol by the sounds of it. She's pretty mature and cool. Then there's the antagonist. Yes! Antagonist! In a hentai! That's not a tentacle monster! But yeah, he's got spiky hair and is super jelly of protag-kun because his chick is the hottest, and I thiiiink they were going out??? I don't know. The last character is the assigned girl to Sonic the Hedgehog (antagonist bloke) and she's not all into being his sex toy cause he's pretty abusive to her. She is unappreciated glasses-kun.

Yes, I enjoyed dropout. It's only 18 minutes long so if I wanted to actually get off to it I'd probably have to keep rewinding bits. Curse my lady parts. Not gonna lie, there are weird parts, and it's not vanilla. All the girls wander around in bondage gear, and there's one part where she gets fucked so hard, so very hard, that her vagina prolapses. PROLAPSES, EEW. I have never seen that in a hentai before, and it was gross. The guy's jizz flies out of the prolapse, which was pretty fucking funny, but I know that would've triggered me if I was actually fapping. Another thing is that he clearly fucks her asshole much harder than le vajayjay, but that doesn't fucking prolapse. WHY THE PROLAPSING? At least it wasn't her eyeball (shout out to kowaku no toki). The only other thing that I didn't like was how much dialogue there was during the sex scenes. It's like, "shut up, I don't care". But IMO the protag's hot voice makes up for it.

My pickle would've been well and truly tickled if there was no prolapse and less ahegao. God bless protag's juicy ass.

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Sep 22, 2016

Kowaku no Toki (Anime) add

Not Recommended

I've felt somewhat uncomfortable ever since I wrote a somewhat slating review of the hentai Amanee, so I was reluctant to review this one. But I thought to myself "This is a hentai I'm sure nobody could whack it to. I'm in the clear, hate-wise", but then I saw a slurry of people (here meaning 2 peeps) genuinely rating it 7 and 8. And this show has a mean average of about 6, which is weird.

I am a girl, so the first time I watched it (a year ago) it was difficult to watch. I had clicked on it because at the time a ...

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Apr 5, 2016

Ane Yome Quartet (Anime) add

Recommended

Preliminary (1/2 eps)

Ok, so, harem hentai, right? I usually hate it. But for this one I'll make an exception. The story is as generic as it gets, a protagonist has to choose between 4 of his sisters. I can't for the life of me remember their names, so I'll name them what they are; Deredere-nee, Maid-nee, Tsundere-nee and Oujou-nee. This episode features Maid-nee followed by Oujou-nee.

The art is, on the whole, great. Not as good as Amakano or Gakuen de Jikan yo Tomare, but definitely above par for someone like me who is used to watching older stuff from Mary Jane and Milky animation. The girls are ... consistently in proportion, except for one of Maid-nee's asscheeks, which has a line that shouldn't be there. It bothered my inner artiste (I'm actually shit), but I survived it. The other boo-boo of note was that sometimes the protag's eyes looked creepily vacant, or boss-eyed. Obviously a case of slightly messing up the proportions of the lights in his eyes. Anime eyes are a bitch like that. Still made me expect him to go Higurashi on my ass or something. *Shudders*

The voice acting is, on the whole, good. Maid-nee sounded a bit wooden at times, but it wasn't really noticable. ALSO. Finally, a protagonist who isn't afraid to vocalize once in a while! It makes me love hentai again just because of a few occasional moans. See, PoRO? It's not that difficult to make Crusty happy!

Also, write down the date, because we can actually see this protagonist's eyes. Yay.

This hentai does differentiate from others in the genre, because: Thighs.
Rather, a thigh job? No, not quite. More like between-the-thighs-and-the-calf-job.
Nailed it.
The first scene with Maid-nee is close to perfect in my honest opinion. The calf job(?) was creative and something I haven't really seen before. (The other hentai I saw it in was fat-old-man-rape-the-animation so it was kinda gross).

Sadly, the censoring is lazy and goes over the sides, but I generally look at a whole scene rather than just the nether regions, so while it disappointed me at first, it really didn't affect my "viewing" experience. There was also a kinda half-assed opening theme which I didn't care for. There wasn't really any momentum for it to ruin, so it wasn't as damaging as it has been in other hentai.

The introduction to the sisters etc is also insanely boring if you've ever played an eroge in your life. I may or may not have skipped 5 minutes.

Ok, ok, ok. I have to mention this, but I hate being too explicit in my reviews. Oh well. The fellatio in this episode is particularly good. By which I mean that it's more interesting than in other hentai. Usually hentai fellatio looks like an anime head bobbing about like a jellyfish for a while, partially offscreen. Crap, right? Well, I'm not gonna spoil it or be too explicit, but they are a whoooole lot more interesting here.

Also, the way Maid-nee sucks the protag after the first scene was amazing. I've never seen anything like it to be honest.
Erm, I'm just gonna mention this here; in the scene with Oujou-nee, during the climax of the scene, they randomly change positions, from missionary to cowgirl. Pretty weird, and offputting since it messes up the momentum of the scene.

So, should you watch it? YES. Erm, only if you want to, of course...

[Wow, this was a surprisingly normal review; I didn't crack many dumbass jokes this time round. Here, I'll compensate: Sex, hahahaha! Amirite?]

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Mar 9, 2016

Renketsu Houshiki (Anime) add

Recommended

Ok, ok. I am gonna try really hard not to be biased because the protag in the second episode is like the sexiest thing since sex. He managed to hit all of my niches, so I'm gonna try to be fair and partially ignore his awesomeness.

Like First Love and Whatsit (totally forgot the title, whoops), this is 3 separate stories in 3 episodes. The first episode is incest, blah blah, heartfelt, blah blah, sexy time, blah blah. It's suuuper generic, so I'll get to the good parts.

The second episode is a rapist SHOUTA. Yes. This may or may not be the niche I was ... talking about. Yes, I know I need help. His character is entertaining, anyway. He goes all yandere rapist on your ass if you mention that he looks girly. It's pretty hilarious. Its the little things he does, like licking the boiling tube in the science lab (doesn't take a genius to figure out what he does with it) and just his voice in general. Like, I MUST know this seiyuu or I will die unhappy. There are 4 girls in his episode that he has scenes with. The first is a moe moe kyun classmate of his. He kinda gets triggered by her and decides to go around on a gonadventure cause she said he reminds her of a girl.
The second girls are kinda plastic-looking characters and seem to be the popular kids in school. They have tanned skin and bleached hair- you know the type. He has a threesome with them after they dress him in a girl's uniform- it's a bit weird for someone who isn't used to this weird shit, but since I read yaoi doujins I'm totally used to it. God help me.
The third girl is the teacher- its a good scene, but not as memorable as the others.

The third episode is about a girl who sees a classmate getting gangbanged and watches. She likes what she sees, so she ties herself to some railings Suffragette-style (can't believe I just said that) and waits to be gangraped herself. Lo and behold, the Lord doth giveth.

Now, I found the last two stories to be very interesting and although a lot of them played on things that were pretty trope-y in hentai, it was still very memorable, if not for the... interesting... artstyle.

Now I highly doubt any of you guys have played an eroge called Enzai- if not, look up some of the artwork cause thats basically what the characters look like. Their builds are very Jack Skellington-like... almost reminiscent of Code Geass. They have large bobble-heads which is not distracting at all for me- on the contrary, I found the artstyle so interesting it kept me watching it till the end.

The music is forgettable, but the seiyuu are not. The voice actors for shouta-bloke and moemoekyun are so outstanding. The voices of the threesome girls are also great, and one of them can only refer to herself on the third person, which I LOVE. The voice acting of the main character of the third episode and of the guys who gang-rape the girl in the school are also great. The boys are very giggly and almost hyena-like. I don't know if you've seen that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Xander becomes a hyena, but it's a bit like that. Very jeery and very AWESOME.

I actually think that the plastic girls and the shouta are the best characters in the series. It was great to see femal character designs that looked different, and her referring to herself in third person is the best thing ever. Obviously the shouta is also great cause he's a crazy fuck-nugget, and they're always entertaining.

Cause it hits 4 of my niches, personally this is a 9 for me. However, that's not how reviewing works! I wanted to give it an 8 but the animation does seem a bit dated and the artstyle WILL put some people off. Also, the first episode was mediocre. So, I'll give it a solid 7, points only retracted for the animation and first episode. It may not be as highly rated as others I've reviewed, but please don't think it's bad- far from it.

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Mar 9, 2016

Mesu Kyoushi 4: Kegasareta Kyoudan (Anime) add

Mixed Feelings

Preliminary (1/6 eps)

Ok, so hentai-eers will know of PoRO's reputation. They make high-budget hentai, with generally above-parr animation. Examples are Oni Chichi and Fukubiki Triangle. Another trait this studio tends to have is that the hentai they make is infamously pretty soulless. Hollow characters and a basically non-existent story are things that tend to come with the PoRO package. This show is a perfect example of a hentai i would describe as being soulless- not just because of the rape. Shows like Euphoria and Gakuen de Jikan yo Tomare are examples of shows that centre around rape and yet have a lot of character to them, proving ... that this genre can create good characters and stories.

Soulless porn is not necessarily bad porn; you just can't expect it to be anything above "good" since soulless things tend to be very forgettable, just like Fukubiki Triangle.

Story is very generic. A guy fancies his teacher and so decides the best course of action is to rape her into submission. It's like that olden goldie called "Depravity", except instead of the teacher being the resident badass, she's a helpless loli. Now, I have seen more brutal rape hentai. Chains of lust and Black Widow are definitely in the same dark rape genre that this is- and what makes these series dark compared to ones like the aforementioned Gakuen de Jikan yo Tomare is that in those shows, the girls seem to get some pleasure out of it. Not in this one. All the dialogue is about how she doesn't want to be raped; she has yet to be "broken" or whatever. Its pretty brutal, with blood and everything, and at the same time doesn't manage to leave a mark in my brain- its forgettable.

PoRO's biggest plus is their tasty budgets, and this title did not disappoint in that department. transitions and animation loops were noticeable but smooth in general, and details to the female characters design were nice, like white stockings and a frilly dress. That shit is a pain in the ass to draw and animate, so kudos.

Characters were the worst aspect of this, but it wont affect most people. I feel like the kind of people who seek out this kind of genre instead of stumbling on them occasionally like I did probably don't care about how likeable characters are in their porn. Therefore, I'll keep this snappy. The guy is a cut-out protag and (surprise surprise) his bangs cover his eyes. The teacher is a whiny rape victim. I'm a terrible person for saying that.

The enjoyment is a difficult one, because this is really not my thing. Like, BDSM and stuff is only cool in my book if both parties are into it, call me old-fashioned. I just couldn't thoroughly enjoy this. It is definitely watchable, but twice? Nah, dude. Also, pee stuff? Not my cup of tea.

I feel like this series is way too confined to who will enjoy it. Like, first you must be ok with rape, then you have to be ok with pee stuff, then you have to be ok with her screaming that she hates it all the time- it's just too much! Too many filters. Of all the people I know in my life, I can only think of one person who liked this kind of hentai and, just between us, he was kind of a psycho.

I think it's a bad sign if your porn can be used to gain similar results to that of an ink blot test.
"Do you have a boner?"
"Yes."
"Into the cellar."

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Feb 16, 2016

Amakano (Anime) add

Recommended

Preliminary (1/4 eps)

Yes, back to reviewing porn!
A friend recommended this to me with just the premise "you'll love it, Crusty". I was wondering what it was about this series that had made my friend so eager to tell me to watch it. And I saw the light, and saw that it was good.

It's great to see a lovely vanilla series come along, seeing as hentai as of late has been teetering towards the hardcore side (I'm pretty sure that Euphoria will go on forever). Now, I may be a girl, but that doesn't mean that I don't like the rough stuff. I happen to like S ... and M, things like that. It's nice to get a breath of fresh air every now and again, and Amakano is just what the doctor ordered. Most likely Doctor Shameless, but that's a hentai for another time. Its hard to tell cause the title was in katakana, but I'm guessing that the title is a mix of the words 甘い/amai and 彼女/kanojo meaning sweet girlfriend. I will be so embarrassed if I'm just totally wrong. And that's exactly what this series is- very sweet.

The art, oh dear lord, the art. Hentai NEEDS to keep going in this direction, style-wise, just more polished, more professional-looking, and preferably less of that "Queen Bee" bollocks that seems to be seeping in through the cracks lately. Hentai seems to be getting colour schemes, and it's becoming more and more detailed. Basically, good all-round. One specific thing I must mention about the art in this hentai is the backgrounds. The snowy cabin, the inside, just everything. They are nothing less than beautiful and I dare to think of how long it must have taken to paint them. The whole hentai is gorgeous. Even the detail of the character designs impressed me.

The voice acting is notable since the female lead manages to stay believable and not become annoying with her loudness during the sexy times. Her trait of shyness stays prominent even through the sex scenes, something pretty rare. I'm not talking about a tsundere's shyness, I mean genuine shyness in a more adorable way. A bad habit hentai has is introducing a shy girl and then the second things become sexual, her personality goes out the window and she becomes just as loud and over-the-top as other more extroverted girls in the series. It's also nice to hear a younger boy protagonist, someone who is more of the "boku" type rather than "ore". I also like that he's not completely silent during sex like other protags tend to be.

Both character designs are attractive, but obviously the girl is more detailed than the boy. The main trait for both of them is shyness, since they both seem to stutter a lot and are very respectful of each other. It was a nice change to see a truly loving couple in a hentai, and it has somewhat reaffirmed my faith in the genre. I don't know where else I'm going to mention this, so I might as well do it now. The female character has odd-coloured eyes. I loved seeing something different, since I end up watching a lot of same-y things. I found the odd colours strangely attractive. Her cat-like eye shape is also worth noting, since a lot of shows tend to opt for more loli-esque, round eyes. She's not just a sexy female character; she's a genuinely beautiful girl with an adorable personality.

Obviously, I liked this series. It is outstanding, but didn't exactly blow me away enough to get a 10. It does however get a 9 for breaking away from the harem bullshit we're all expected to gulp down lately. The sex has a nice build-up; it doesn't just happen out of nowhere, and I find this to be a massive plus. the only thing that wasn't worth praise is that it could be considered "boring", since the episode I have seen is just "Here is a couple. This is their story. This is their sex. Cute, right? The end." I definitely don't think this way, but I know some people might not want something quite so vanilla.

Keep it up, hentai industry. Keep. It. Up. I'm liking it.

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Jul 9, 2015

Ane Jiru The Animation: Shirakawa Sanshimai ni Omakase (Anime) add

Recommended

I'm a girl, so sorry if that makes this review irrelevant to you. As I mentioned in a previous review, hentai has to be a bit different from others in order to stand out, especially if you watch a lot of different shows like I do. At first glance, this series looked like it was going to be mediocre because of its rather outdated art style and rather classic setup for a hentai story. Guy has some kind of item/condition/atmosphere where he has to have sex with women in order to progress/win/fix his condition. This series surprised me in that it managed to be quite ... a good watch despite its unoriginal content.

The story is different yet not different at all. It's another "magical item" hentai, which those of you who read my other reviews will know that I like. However, this particular item works a tad differently to others in that it has a mind of its own, and so it decides to help Yu to get laid only at specific times, and he also doesn't always need the help. What a stud. Anyway, the item in question is a bottle that needs "female juices" to be collected, or else. It's a lovely setup since the bottle can even change environments and people's perception in order to help Yu on his valiant quest. This gives the hentai a lot of opportunity and potential to make a truly kick-ass series... which left me a little bit disappointed with it. I feel like it could have done so much more with itself, but oh well. The story is just about Yu having to seduce his sisters in order to keep the bottle happy. It's fairly average. The plot does its job, and ties all of the ero scenes together quite well, even though the story is seriously lacking.

In terms of art, I was wary going into this hentai since the washed-out style filter and the rather old-school character designs made me think the animation wouldn't be able to support itself. Especially since the character designs of the girls looked nice, if not a bit "copy-paste with different hair colours". I was proven wrong, and the animation was quite nice. Standard, but not particularly lacking like I thought it would be. The animation loops are, sadly, obvious although it is to be expected of a slightly older hentai like this one. A little thing that I found to be distracting was the size of Yu's eyes. He has a very shouta-esque face and therefore it is round with large eyes. His eyes are often bigger than the girl's eyes, which I found to be interesting to see. Yu’s eyes are often so massive that they distort his entire face, making it out of proportion. Quite an amazing feat for an anime. Faces often look out of proportion, which sucks because the character designs of the sisters and cat are actually very nice. Things being out of proportion is also a pet peeve of mine, so it did upset me more than it would upset the normal person, I think. The hentai looks good when it wants to, and the detail is there often enough so that it never feels unfinished. Looking at you, Ane-Kyun.

The voice acting is very standard, none of the performances stand out for being better than the others, but Yu's voice does become distracting because it is very feminine and often sounds more girly than the girl he is, er, "girling" at the time. It did have some music at the beginning of each episode, sort of like an OP. I kind of wished that they'd have kept the credits for the end entirely because I don't think the rhythm of a hentai should be interrupted for the credits. But that's quite nit-picky.

The characters are very lacking, since the girls act very much the same. In the beginning, they are presented as two of them being pretty loose and outgoing, with one of the sisters being a bit quieter and more of a prude. I didn't feel like these "personalities" followed through though, since I couldn't remember who was who by the end. Yu himself acts quite innocent, but you regularly see his perverted side. Aside from the girly-ness, he is quite a cardboard cut-out protagonist.

Overall, this series was fairly done, but only a few scenes are ones that I remember fondly. It's nicely done and definitely not one to skip if you're new to hentai, but for a seasoned watcher like myself, I just don't feel like this series has anything new to offer or anything particularly good in it's hand. This one isn't bad by a long shot, but there is nothing that I can remember it by, except for the bottle, although I don't feel like this item was used to its fullest extent. Actually, I found that the non-sex ero scenes were often better than the actual sex scenes, and so some of the sex scenes were a tad disappointing when they finally came around. It wasn't a waste of time to watch, nor it is something that I would actively search out again.

For a hentai-eer, none of it is original. We’ve seen all of this done before, if not better.

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Jul 5, 2015

Amanee!: Tomodachinchi de Konna Koto ni Naru Nante! (Anime) add

Not Recommended

I'm a girl! Sorry if that makes this review irrelevant or anything. I would like to say that the animation is the only area where this hentai falls flat, but it isn't. The whole thing feels very rushed, with minimal artwork and no detail, just everything in block colours with some shading, if they remember. The dialogue is the sort where any hentai-eer wouldn't even need subtitles to understand what they are saying; it is that generic. Even for a hentai, the story is poor, with a literal "meet and fuck" atmosphere about it. I can list all the things that made me dislike this ... episode, but what is most frustrating is that it managed to get some things right, and so we get a brief glimpse of what it could have been, if it had followed through. And that's what saddens me the most. With the theme and everything, it could have been so much more.

The story is just as much as you would get from live-action porn. Two characters with obvious roles have sex. We have the married Yui and the student Ryouichi, and so it heavily caters to the NTR fetish, which is neither here nor there for me. I feel like even if I had been into NTR, I would have been even more disappointed since I would have been excited at the prospect and theme, and underwhelmed at the execution, style and the lazy attempt at catering to it by a few references to her husband. "Does this mean I'm better than your husband? Couldn't you just do this with your husband?" You get the idea. Everything about this hentai screams "shallow!" since it feels so half-assed and uninspired. It did manage to hit a niche of mine, however, where she comes onto him while he is playing a videogame, and pleasures him as he plays. I liked that part, but yet again the bad animation just let it down massively. It was a shame, since I think they had something good there. The ear biting and handjob as he played was strung together nicely, but the crappy dialogue and clunky animation made it balance out as a mediocre scene even though the idea was good. The scene in the bathroom did absolutely nothing for me, although I can't speak for everyone since it caters to the urine/squirting fetish, which I don't personally have.

The art is definitely the worst aspect of this series. Firstly, the censoring is lazy and goes over the lines the way cheap hentai does, and is distracting a lot of the time. The character designs were actually nice, especially that of Yui, although it also backfired spectacularly since you have this beautiful woman who is almost always out of proportion or moving so clunkily that you just can't take the sex scene seriously. Her mouth moves when she isn't speaking and vice versa, like a lot of older hentai does. Luckily, this seems to be being rectified in modern titles. Yui is also painfully pale. She looks like a vampire or something. This is like a Hotaruko level of paleness. Her red lips don't help with her bad colouring. The animation is also very slow. This is a problem I actually haven't come across before. Every scene is amazingly lacklustre since even if the content had been any good, the slow, boring pace would have ruined any sense of anticipation you may have gathered together. It also has a bad habit of pairing slow animations or still frames with a fast-moving "action-lines" background to try to help with the representation of fast movement with their small budget. It didn't work. The background and foreground just look mismatched and it just highlights how boring the actual animation is. Almost every frame was out of proportion one way or another, which was my worst nightmare since I draw/paint a lot, and so I see these things easily and they bother me because I always have to be aware of them in my own work. Overall, very awkward, clunky, movements. Even by hentai standards. Whenever it tried to switch up the angles it was too random, like mid-sentence. It always took me by surprise and ruined what little rhythm the scene had.
One animation of boring missionary is repeated for a tedious 14 seconds. It was so unnaturally long that I rewound the video and counted on my fingers how long the animation was ("rewound the video" shows my mental age, huh?).
Angles and positions of body parts don't make any sense. At one point it looked like he must have been penetrating her navel. Yeah... animation was terrible.

I won't even mention the music since the same "porn jazz" music is played on repeat throughout the whole thing. It actually managed to grate on me. The voice acting wasn't memorable or worth noting in my opinion. Very standard fare, but not bad by any stretch. The only thing I will say about the VA was a problem with the editing, not the seiyuu. Ryouichi is distractingly quiet in the sack, except for when he says his lines. It doesn't add up since he is silent the entire time, not even any heavy breathing; yet you get this aroused, breathy voice when he speaks which doesn't make much sense. The voice directors should have recorded some heavy breathing or grunting for him, rather than neglecting him so much that it becomes unnatural. The last thing that bothered me sound-wise was that the slapping/sloshy noises didn't even match up with the movements. The thrusting was a lot slower than the sound effects, which gives me the idea that they slowed every animation down to fit the time slot and save money. This is all conjecture, though.

The actual seduction techniques on Yui's part were nice, ear biting etc. although this amounts to nought because the following sex scene is very lazy. It only consists of a handjob, paizuri and a sex scene. It's all mediocre and so middle of the road that they don't manage to address any fetishes other than NTR and pee. Therefore, it will be unsatisfying for most people. When you mix generic ideas and themes with a low budget and bad animation, you get a bad hentai. That's just how it works.

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Jun 5, 2015

Gakuen de Jikan yo Tomare (Anime) add

Recommended

Preliminary (1/4 eps)

I had hoped to review this series first, but alas alack, I have exams until the end of this month. I actually had an exam today and yesterday, so while I had time to watch it since it was only 20 minutes or so, I didn't have time to cut into my revision schedule to make this review. It's the weekend now, so I finally have time to keep going with this hentai review thing. You know the drill by now: I'm a girl so I'm sorry if that affects my review in a bad way. Moving on.

In a nutshell, it was pretty awesome. I ... feel like it just got everything it attempted so very right, and it was also an original setup for a very common theme. This is revenge-oriented, and so the protagonist will not show mercy. If you want something nice and guilt-free, this isn't for you. It doesn't go as far as, say, Euphoria in the guilt factor, but it manages to sexualize something that you know is wrong and, although it gives explanation, you know the rape isn't justified. And yet I still found it to be very hot and interesting to watch, which I must commend it for. I loved the first episode, so I have to pray that it doesn't pull a "Hime-sama Gentei!" and fuck up all the hotness at the end.

Story was surprisingly decent for a hentai. Our protagonist- no, not protagonist. I'll go with "main character" instead this time, considering everything. Anyway, our MC wants revenge on his father after he abandoned him and his mother to have two daughters with another woman. It's an interesting motive behind the MC and, although it doesn't manage to give him any depth, it actually manages to hold the hentai together well and justifies his actions somewhat. The sob story does draw you in, as it's the first scene of the hentai. You think "Oh, ok. We got some plot here." and it only takes 5 minutes of plottage to make you understand the MC and the two girls a bit, and since the backstory was only short, it didn't bog the hentai down at all. Rather, it improved the quality of the series and gave me a whole lot of patience and respect for the series. Obviously it won't be the best story in hentai, but it's definitely above average for hentai. In order to get his revenge, he is given a magical stopwatch that can stop time and let him do whatever he wants as time is stopped. This is used to create a "helpless girls" storyline, but God, is it used well. I partially like this because there are only two girls; none of this harem bullshit. As I've mentioned in previous reviews, I also love hentai with magical items in them because they are always original and full of potential. Bible Black and Dorei Usagi to Anthony are examples of hentai that used magical items well. I also liked the way they explained how he didn't just go straight into the Girls (literally); he tested the watch first and saw how it worked. He looks up a girl's skirt (like we all would) and he freezes a crow (Lain-style). It's a little addition, but it makes me respect the series a whole lot more.

Art was very nice also- not quite up to Lovely x Cation standards, but definitely on par with Renai Fuyou Gakuha. I really hope the direction art in hentai is going in hentai continues; they're really lovely to look at as of late. The animations don't look choppy like they tend to, and the animation loops were quite smooth, in that the place where they looped wasn't obvious like it usually is. The character designs of the girls were absolutely gorgeous, and they looked beautiful. The MC was obviously plainer, but he wasn't ugly by a long-shot, which I also loved because guys in hentai are getting too ugly lately. I know that I'm probably the only girl watching them and so the only person it affects, but it still upsets me when they do that (partially because I feel sorry for the girls!). The only thing about the character design of the MC was that I sometimes felt that the length they made bangs in order to cover his eyes completely was a bit forced, but that's it. It just looked a bit unnatural. So was the size of his member, but there's no point in mentioning that!

Sound, in terms of voice acting, was standard except for the MC, because the craziness of his character and how his childhood had unhinged him really came across in his voice. It really stood out. The girls' voices were cute and the acting for them was also very good, but it's the extra sprinkles on top we get from the MC that really made his voice memorable. Just his tone of voice was interesting compared to other male protagonists. It dances up and down, and he sounds very eccentric. It also makes him likeable somewhat. He's an asshole, but he's an interesting one! The amount of emotion he had when he was speaking about his father was also notable. Another thing that I noticed was how the sound effects to make the dialogue sound like he's "doing stuff" while speaking was very good (e.g. muffled voice and slurping noises) and he delivers a surprising amount of lines as he's licking and sucking things, which sounded awesome.

The highlight was definitely when he mimics the younger sister's moe voice whilst she's frozen by the stopwatch. It was like when Akio Furukawa mimicked Nagisa's voice in Clannad. It made me laugh out loud! The dialogue is almost completely a monologue by the MC as he does stuff, and the things he says aren't the same-old same-old, which kept the whole series fresh and interesting for me. The only thing he says that is heard in all hentai was actually the impression of the sister, where he grabs her jaw as she's frozen and moves it like she's talking, saying "But it's so big! I'm scared!" in a high voice before switching back to normal to say "It's fine if you want to say that, you know." and the whole time she's froze so can't speak. It was a very funny scene that'll stick in my memory for a while! His whole crazy demeanour was like if you were being raped by Okabe Rintarou- and for that, it automatically gets a thumbs up from me. His maniacal laughter in between thrusts was also really fun to watch. I'm going to hell.

Yeah, it's just one guy having his way with two girls; but it's the way this series delivers it that makes it memorable. Freezing the girls during foreplay and then unfreezing them mid-thrust was a very cool way of doing time manipulation in hentai. The way they are confused and are at the same time trying to save the other sister is really interesting to watch and I believe that this series is a perfect example of how to use a magical item in hentai. The whole episode is very fresh and I haven't seen such an unhinged male MC in all my time watching hentai, except for Kei in Euphoria. I can still hear him saying "This is it! This is the face!". This guy isn't memorable because he's creepy as hell when he gets his motor runnin' (looking at you, Kei) but because he's different. This episode is different. I would wholeheartedly recommend that you watch this first episode because of the great production value, fascinating MC and the GORGEOUS sisters. You're betraying your loins if you don't check this out.

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May 9, 2015

Himesama Gentei! (Anime) add

Recommended

Honestly, this would have gotten a solid 9 from me if the hentai hadn't started to lose itself a bit towards the end. Trust me, I'm all for harems, but this one was definitely the most forced harem I've ever seen in hentai. It's a real shame since it started off AMAZINGLY and I was pretty awe-stricken. Alas, alack, some things just aren't meant to be, I guess. It still managed to get a nice 8 though, so the good parts at the start definitely outweighed the "please stop that" parts near the end. Well, part. I feel like it only fell apart because they ... tried to implement too many routes you could take in the game, even the ones that weren't great. As I have to say all the time, I'm a girl so my opinion will probably be different to all you guys'. But enough of my moaning; let's start with the good arc, shall we? Well, at least after I cover the hentai as a whole.

Story is quite average. I thought it might end up having more depth than it actually did, so I came out of the hentai a bit disappointed in that respect. The closest thing we got to story was when Olivia had to move back to her home country. This is embarrassing, but I actually jotted down the name of it so that I could write this review properly. I just went back to read it but my handwriting is so illegible that I can't see what it actually says. Damn it. But yeah, the story really fell flat when it appeared to be a hentai that would have a half-decent story. It's just about a princess, Olivia, having a affair with her knight, Asakura. It tricks you into thinking it'll be more than that with a high production value and gimmicks like flashbacks, but it's just porn. But damn, it's good porn.

As I mentioned before, it has a pretty high production value, with the character designs a lot like those of PA Works'. IN other words, the art is pretty awesome. It has some of the nicest animation I've seen in hentai as of now, and the character designs are gorgeous. Bearing in mind that the characters are all rich and some of them are royalty, the outfits they wear really do them justice. Some of Olivia's clothes are really lovely and everything is so amazingly detailed and has a nice polish on it. Their cheeks have a slight blush on them all of the time and you can see the light reflecting off of them. The whole hentai looks amazeballs! I can't really fault it. The animation during the sex scenes manages to keep up nicely and it switches up the angles and positions frequently, keeping it interesting throughout. Another nice thing to mention is that it manages to keep everything in proportion (not including VERY well endowed guys, of course!) even when they animate things from tricky angles. I'm an artist myself, so it really gets on my nerves when things just look a bit off-kilter.

Sound. The only thing worth mentioning is the pure awesomeness of Olivia and Asakura's voices. They both sounded hot, and Olivia managed to swiftly dodge the bullet of being so moany during sex that she becomes fucking annoying. Well done! Asakura's voice is also hot and pretty deep, and it caught me off-guard when he actually spoke because we don't get to hear his lovely voice much since it's from Olivia's point of view for the most part, until the second episode gets rid of her. I was a bit upset at that; I really liked Olivia! I found it interesting for it to be from Olivia's point of view. You're introduced to her before you're introduced to Asakura, and you get internal monologues from her instead of from the "harem king" (please tell me someone got that reference). Again, I was disappointed when they replaced Olivia and so had to focus more on Asakura. So, we went from hot internal monologue from a girl to no monologues at all. That kind of sucked.

Characters were a major weak point in this one, thinking about it. We have Olivia, the princess of... er... Manaland? (Curse my handwriting!) and Selina, some other princess chick. We also get Asakura's sister and a bunch of unexplained girls who just kind of hang out in the background. Olivia isn't nasty enough to class as tsundere, I don't think, but she is a bit cold sometimes. She tries to order Asakura the knight around because she's his senpai, but it usually fails and he just takes what he wants anyway. He acts very cute and innocent a lot of the time, but gets all dominating during the sex scenes. He's pretty standard, except for his character design, which is just pretty! That was a terrible joke, I'm sorry. In the first half of the second episode, Selina replaces Olivia when she ponces off back to... wherever. Selina is the quiet type of girl, opposite of Olivia's half-assed tsundere thing she had going on. We get the impression that both Selina and Olivia both truly loved Asakura because of a ton of lovey-dovey dialogue during the smexy sections. Asakura actually loves Olivia, but I think that he just uses Selina as a rebound because I don't remember him ever confessing to her, but he did tell Olivia that he loved her. Kind of. Any development that the characters may have managed to scrape up got thrown away in the last scene, which is an amazingly out-of-place threesome between Selina, Asakura's sister and Asakura. Basically, it gets all "Pure Mail" on us (minus the awesome story of Pure Mail) at the fireworks display. The bad characters would have landed it a 9 if the whole story hadn't been messed up by the last part... Yeah. The decline in awesomeness lost it another point, giving it an 8.

In this section I'll explain why this hentai was awesome, because I've been giving it a lot of stick (pun not intended) throughout this review, I think. The sex scenes in the first episode are some of my favourites and the scenes in the car and the changing room are total gold. Loved them. The thing about this one is that when it gets something right, it hits it out of the park. For example, Asakura putting his fingers in Olivia's mouth as he takes her from behind = Win. Asakura holding Olivia's hands above her head using one of his hands in the changing room as they kiss = Win. See what I mean? It also has amazing quality in both style, animation and character designs. The sex scenes are really good (except the last one. God, make it stop) and there's just so much goodness in general.

Overall, please, PLEASE watch the first episode. It's amazeballs. Just don't expect it to get any better than that... because, trust me, it doesn't. It goes from "OH LORD THIS IS AWESOME, BOOKMARKED" to "meh... seen that before, right?" to "ugggghhh, how have they managed to mess something up that has so much promise?!". I feel like that's the anime industry's speciality sometimes. Coming up with things that have so much potential, then running it into the ground like a tentpeg. Oh well. At least the first episode is like Jesus made a hentai. Except that it has no story... ok, I'll stop whining now! I'm just upset that it went downhill so curtly. It can go and sit over there with Tayu Tayu, Dorei Usagi to Anthony and Wizard Girl Ambitious. The club of hentai that end on a kind of shitty note.

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