Kimi ni Aisarete Itakatta

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this is hidden gem why ?
because there is no longer manga like this anymore

this is masterpiece why ?
because it dare to make something new something none can do anymore
not only that it also done in a brilliant way to make interested and excited for every-god-damn chapter

we no longer have manga like this anymore yet people decide to come here and whine how brutal and scary it is


... this world is filled with beautiful and lovely manga but what about us ?
us human who yearn for violence and some-brutal fked up things ? there is nothing like that anymore thankfully KNAT got you covered .

and the best thing its not alt-reality or people in a distant island nope not at all
it is your regular school girl but with a miserable life besides her lack of love and real parent she struggle on her own that led here to do some horrible things just to feel her existence
and guess what her school is the harsh reality where everyone bully everyone in a perfect world!!

KNAT is what you have been looking for your entire life not only the story is good the art itself is absolutely amazing well its not a secret he used to drew some Hentai in the past

as for normies just go on continue your boring life nothing to see here

**Warning!! This is a harsh and brutal manga, and will certainly make you feel depressed. If you are reading this for relaxation and laughter, this manga isn't recommended; however, if you want to take a dip into the psychotic and twisted human nature, this manga will open your eyes.

Story:
This manga revolves around the theme of “bullying” and “lacking personal core values”. Won’t dive into this too much since it will spoil the story. The plot flows well, and will, oftentimes, leave some cliffhangers for the following chapters.

Enjoyment:
I don’t enjoy this manga (mentally), but this manga’s story is so foul that it kept me, a ... rather innocent person, reading.

Overall:
This manga is an extreme example or lesson for people who need to know how to find the “right” friends and for people who lack self-confidence. If you want to see potentially severe examples of bullying and evil side of human nature, this manga certainly delivers.

P.S. You should be or must be THE ONE who chooses how your life should be. Do not be swayed by “expectations” or “norms”. (!!Under the circumstance of not harming or harassing other people!!)

This is a manga I found increasingly hard to write a review for the more I thought about it. The initial few chapters and overall quality of the story is indeed above average, this manga includes a scene that has completely soured my enjoyment of the series and all potential readers should be warned before reading this: The protagonist hires a group of men to rape her bully. More of that will be discussed later in the review.

Kanae has it rough. The harsh treatment she receives from her "friends" reminds her of her severe bullying history and Kanae's mother talks down to her like garbage ... for not being an exemplary student. Even her brother hates her because he feels that his mom forces him to study extensively to make up for Kanae's mediocrity.

The only light of hope in her life comes in the form of Hiroshi, a cute baseball player she develops a crush on after meeting him at a mixer. This crush on him turns into a domino effect of drama and degradation

This manga is in many ways a spiritual successor to Metamorphasis by ShindoL. Both featured troubled socially awkward girls plagued by abuse and bullying. The problem is that Kanae becomes less sympathetic as the story progresses. The first chapter already establishes her being a teen prostitute and get angry at Hiroshi when he becomes concerned for her. It's implied she chose this lifestyle on her own rather than getting roped into the profession like Saki from Metamorphasis.

The manga keeps showing vignettes of how bad Kanae's life is, but readers are never given the full details. We aren't shown enough of her backstory to understand why she is the way she is. We know that her current friends are fake as hell and her family hates her, but it feels like more bark than bite.

Seeing the mental breakdowns of the characters as they confront their own trauma is certainly a highlight. Even Ichika, the previously mentioned bully, gets her sympathy points. Speaking of which, let's talk about her and the downfall of the manga.

Ichika got into a messy love triangle with Kanae because she also had a crush on Hiroshi. Ichika bullied Kanae into backing off from Hiroshi and that infuriated Kanae. She used her connections to get a group of men to abduct and rape Ichika while Kanae watched the whole thing with sadistic joy. That scene was godawful. Ichika may have been a horrible person, but nobody deserves to be raped. Kanae becomes much more morally repulsive than her own bully. Because of that one scene, I can't give this manga a high review.

It's ok, if you like the concept you'll probably like it. It's a story of bullying, isolation, and other similar themes that all could be contained in the phrase "bad highschool experience". It is as subjective as it can be, the art depicting those feelings at their most maximalist, their inner world will be spread over the page evey other page. To me, it feels way to over the top; i understand that's the intention, to represent those situations and thoughts as how they felt at the time, not to be subtle or subdued for the sake of making a more realistic story. I think ... it sometimes comes off as goofy, they're so dramatic all the time, everything is dialed up to 100 all the time, even when they're just doing nothing and being normal, it is framed as the most important normal moment of all time. If you know what you're getting into, you're gonna like it 👍

Just as I expected from the author who made Hop, Step, Hi, Kick. It's dark and brutal but indulgent compared with his other works.

***Advice*** Do not read the manga if you are a very sensitive person because you will struggle a lot trying to read this.

Story: The story is tragical, dark and brutal but it is very interesting and you will crave for more. Will it have a good or bad ending? We don't really know, the author who wrote this is Shiruka Bakaudon.

Characters: "Each one of the characters are not in their right mind." This is what anyone would say but, are they though? ... All of the characters are being influenced by social pressure and this is the main factor of the manga. As they want to make as less fights and problems as possible, they socially distance themselves and act according to the atmosphere. The way that this is represented in the manga shocked me because of how real it is.

Enjoyment: I enjoy this manga because its plot is interesting and one of a kind. You can't really find mangas that spit reality in your face.

Overall: This manga is a clear representation of how social pressure can influence people.

After seeing who the author was, I had pretty low expectations for this because of what the she has made in the past. And this thinking was justified for the first 10 chapters. However, after those 10 chapters the manga takes a noticeable step away from the dark edgy content and becomes more an enjoyable read. Albeit not by much, but enough to keep the attention of the reader.

The criticism of how horribly girls in their adolescence can treat each other at the drop of a hat in order to "fit in" is a core aspect to this manga. Kanae desperately tries to find a ... group of friends that will accept her, only to be met with the exact thing that she's worried about. After chapter 12 it more so focuses on the developing relationships between the characters, and more specifically Kanae and Hiroshi.

Outside of 3 characters, the rest of them are horrible people, and that's why they're interesting. Because if they weren't, then this manga wouldn't be worth looking at.

One of the things that I love about manga is seeing the journey the artist has taken in improving their art, and this is no exception. Comparing her older chapters to the newer ones is pretty noticable. That's not to say that the art at the beginning of the manga is bad, it certainly does have its charm.

Overall I did derive some semblance of enjoyment from seeing a mentally ill girl experience what love is like and try to protect that feeling, and if you're into that then you'll like it. If you can't get past the first 9 chapters, no one will blame you, since you aren't really missing much that can't be found elsewhere.

Story:

The story in this one is maybe best compared to something like Oyasumi Punpun or Welcome to the NHK: Slice of Life-ish with a lot of depression.

Conflict is rooted in character (and their realistic cirumstances) and doesn't feel forced. There is always something happening (read as constant conflict) which entertained me from start to finish. (I binged all 30 chapters currently translated.)

The content of the story basically revolves around depression and includes
-high school clique bullshit /putting up masks/ making authentic connections
-low self worth, comparison
-sex and love
... -trauma and bullying
So typical high school stuff (minus the trauma).

As you can see this sort of heavy story might not be for everyone, especially if you consider that there is a rape scene. The manga has an overall negative outlook on life.

If you don't mind it though then this is one of best manga I've read dealing with these themes. That is because of the amount of depth and detail put into the realization of them. You can really picture in your head how the daily life of our protagonist looks like, you can really feel her dread and depression.

Still, the overall tone of the manga isn't that heavy. It has a lot of (funny) exaggaration and a lot of cute stuff.



Art:

I don't know much about art. It looks good to me. Sometimes we get a shoujo-ish art style contrasted with darker stuff which makes for a really cool aesthetic. The sexy scenes look sexy and the manga looks really cute if it wants to, too. Backgrounds don't look outstanding, but it's good.



Characters:

I really love how much depth and detail there is to the depiction of our main character and her depression. As someone who struggled with depression in high school trying to fit in, this is exactly what it feels like. We really get to experience her inner life in detail and we really get to experience what her daily life looks like (school, family, friends, hobbies).

As this manga is mostly about the depression of our main character (depression makes your thoughts mostly centered around yourself) she is the most fleshed out character. The other characters do lack depth compared to her but you can always understand why they act in the way they do and they do act consistent with their personalities and circumstances.

This isn't one of those super realistic manga though. Every character is a bit cartoonish and there are a lot of exaggerated actions and facial expressions (disturbed and cute).



Enjoyment:

If you've made it this far, you can probably tell that I really really like this manga. It resonates well with my personal experiences of depression, looks good and is just overall well excecuted. It also helps that I like these sort of slower paced stories about the lives of people.

When I didn't find the disturbing content relatable or emotionally engaging, then at least I was entertained by it because of its freshness compared to the usual feel-good or action manga that I read. Sometimes the stuff happening is also just fun because of its exaggarated ridiculousness.

There are cute and sexy scenes which I have nothing against and things do get better for our protagonist. She does make steps to improve her life which is nice to see.

This is the darkest manga you will ever read. I haven't seen anything quite like it yet before.

There's no hope fixing this protagonist, she is broken to the core, bullied, alone, suffering from all kinds of mental issues. You want to feel bad for her but she does equally as terrible things as every other character. Some scenes are gut wrenchingly shocking and it does not hold back at all. Everything from bullying, prostitution, revenge, mental illness, violence, the list goes on, tragedy is just around the corner.

Every single character is mess up in some way and the author is so talented at making these ... insane and sick characters. If you want to feel absolutely terrible, go read this manga.

This may sound dumb but I've seen myself reflected in this manga a few times. I think it does very well portraying different ways to cope with life and difficult situations from different perspectives. People seek comfort in many ways like s+x, control, belittling others, trying to fulfill their parents' ridiculous expectations, food, etc. And I like that this manga, even with the coat of highschoolers being that, it shows in a pretty raw way how nonsensical, contradictory or overwhelming trying to adjust to normal relationships can be when your concepts of emotions are so different.
At first I didn't start reading with big expectations, ... but the situations hooked me in as it was a mirror of things I've lived and seen.

I recommend this manga A LOT to everyone who feels they're truly out of place, specially as a woman, and specially if you have problems around sexual themes and socializing with others. This will make you sadder, or will make you understand some things. If you're a well adjusted person this will surely come as too edgy and "unnecessarily dark". But I wish I could give my thanks to the author. It made me feel less alone.

Imagine for a moment the iconic British bathroom sink. You turn the left tap and it scalds your hands. You turn the right but it numbs and chills to the bone. What's left after is in the bowl; lukewarm and always feeling a bit unclean - That is my experience with Kimi ni Aisarete Itakatta. Translated as You Loved Me So Much It Hurt. More like a love that crushes like a mace.

This manga is by Shiruka Bakaudon; surely a very healthy and happy lady. Well, she gets right to the point with it in chapter one with setting the tone for how this ... story will go in no unclear language: Things will get ugly.
But it is not about the beginning, nor the ending, but the path we take to get there - and especially each pitfall, mud puddle, the cuts, the bruises, and the eyes staring at us from the sides along the way.

Through the lens of main girl Kanae and her clique of vapid, cute, cruel, and ugly frenemies we are invited into a world where each step is fraught with danger and second guessing; all compliments are suspect, a simple cute ribbon can symbolize deep inferiority complexes, alliances have all the depth of a photograph; loyalty is something mythological, fake smiles, vengeance is never proportionate, that bitch who publicly humiliated you? You're having lunch with her today; smile for selfies! The ground beneath your feet can always give way, sometimes you hate and spit on the one you love the very most, often just a page flip later; everything is always extreme; too hot or too cold and there is just this sense of paranoia and disquiet that never leaves the reader alone.

As a man, it's an alien world I cannot understand and so I find it all very fascinating but in the sense of being unable to look away from a train wreck of billowing flames. Shiruka Bakaudon is a master of revealing the dark side of the feminine lunar surface, always juxtaposed to that shining and always perfect side that charms us.
From the same region that gives you cute girls doing cute things, now you too will understand why and how the very girls from that same land may end up in the news for jumping off a building.

And to our great benefit S.B. is on point with her art as well - The girls are incredibly expressive. In one panel, an almost stereotypical heroine of a shoujo manga with flowers and sweet tarts. A few panels away that same face will be twisted in pain, anger and grimace, full 180 degrees. This manga has possibly some of my favorite reaction faces and it's just all very memorable. At the same time, she also mixes it up and will draw the characters looking very disarming and even comedic with no concern for any whiplash you may receive from sudden hard braking; not her problem.

Character wise, they all feel really human and real; her weakest being her male characters but overall guys are still better portrayed than in most other works, especially shoujo. These girls, sometimes I feel so bad watching them struggle I want to just pat their head and console them. Other times, I wish that same girl would fall face first down a flight of stairs. There are no heroes here, but everyone seems to get a villain arc. It takes great maturity to take it all in and say "You are a horrible person who does horrible things, but you too, were a victim. I'm sorry it happened."

The title is pretty apt - It's all about to hurt and be hurt and there is nobody that will not know the inevitability of pain. But, even if we know it might hurt we do it anyways, because that's still feeling something at least. And that's likely why you are here, and why I hope you read this one of a kind story. Trigger warning - Get hurt and learn.