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AMA - I've lived in Japan most of my adult life

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Sep 3, 12:52 AM
#1

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Jan 2008
696
I've lived in Japan basically since I graduated Uni, and will be living here for the long term. I thought I might be able to answer any questions you have about life here, as I've been active not only within my own experiences but multiple communities across Japan (foreign and otherwise).

A few freebies off the bat:

Most people drive automatic cars, and don't have a license to drive manual. Also, many people don't drive at all, despite having a license - there's a special term in Japanese, called "paper driver", for people like this. The driving test is ridiculously easy.

It's super easy to get by in Japan without Japanese. I spoke no Japanese when I came here, and for the first year or so I got by with very little that I picked up. But I just as easily could get by without speaking any Japanese at all.

Anime isn't really something shameful like a lot of people online suggest.

Conversely, Japanese people aren't "always respectful uwu" like you see online, either.

You can get by without cooking in Japan, because eating out is quite cheap. If you live alone, it's probably cheaper than cooking (unless you freeze big batches).

Crime exists - mostly theft, or sex crimes, particularly against women and children. Assault and murder also aren't super uncommon, but less so than other countries.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, be an English teacher here. The industry collapsed several years ago, and now they basically pay minimum wage (less, if you include the unpaid travel times) for incredibly hard, degree-qualified work. Power harassment is rife in the industry, and your work day will usually be more than 12 hours a day (2-3hrs unpaid travel) on top of time to get ready, etc, etc. Just don't do it. They're exploiting folk desperate to be in Japan now.

Cheating (especially by married women) is incredibly common.

The birth rate is low mostly due to poor wages, not "people being too scared to date". Also long working hours - neither time nor money to set up dates or meet people, let alone sustain a relationship with a child.

There aren't really "free houses" here. Some are *cheaper*, but only because you'll need to spend as much as a new house (if not more) to fix them - including the cost to rip up the foundation and make it "earthquake proof" if it isn't yet up to code, which most aren't.

The age of consent in Japan was recently raised from 13!.... except, it wasn't. Well, the national age was, but the national law was superceded about 60 years ago when the government devolved powers to individual prefectures. Ever since 1960 or so, it's been 18 basically everywhere except Okinawa. However, due to sex tourists googling "japan legal age" and finding the old (outdated, not in use) law, the government had to revise a completely worthless law in order to combat foreign perverts. Hurray!
LifelineByNatureSep 3, 1:03 AM

Supreme Seireitei - Captain of the 10th Court Guard Squad



Sep 3, 12:55 AM
#2
lagom
Offline
Jan 2009
106919
LifelineByNature said:
Crime exists - mostly theft, or sex crimes, particularly against women and children.


ok lets get this get out of the way first, we know japan has sex culture with lolicon, shotacon, jav aka adult porn so does that affect crime rates like how big of a problem is sexual assault and rape crimes there? and why are they forgiving of pedophiles like the samurai x mangaka is largely forgiven there? also are lolicon and shotacon called pedo there too like in the west?
Sep 3, 1:02 AM
#3

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Jan 2008
696
Reply to deg
LifelineByNature said:
Crime exists - mostly theft, or sex crimes, particularly against women and children.


ok lets get this get out of the way first, we know japan has sex culture with lolicon, shotacon, jav aka adult porn so does that affect crime rates like how big of a problem is sexual assault and rape crimes there? and why are they forgiving of pedophiles like the samurai x mangaka is largely forgiven there? also are lolicon and shotacon called pedo there too like in the west?
@deg It's hard to give a solid "how big", but it's big enough that basically every train station and often other places with escalators will have posters telling people to watch out for people taking videos up the skirt of schoolkids. Most of the crimes are voyeuristic, or exhibitionist, with light touching but rarely beyond that. Not to say it's any less of a crime, though.

I worked with a paedophile once. When I was a teacher. He was, too. Constantly cuddling the elementary school kids. I found out about his massive stash of loli porn, and I reported it.

They did nothing. At all. And the police wouldn't do anything either, because "it's legal". Even though he's a teacher, so it's a clear red flag.

Lolicon translates to "paedophile" in general usage. If you see it being used by normal Japanese people, or in newspapers, then it has the same connotation as paedophile does in the west.

As for forgiveness - good question. There's the idea that it's a victimless crime in many cases when it's just consumption of CSAM. But there are much worse cases where the criminal only got a few years in jail, which I find quite disturbing, because the kid is ruined for life after that.

Supreme Seireitei - Captain of the 10th Court Guard Squad



Sep 3, 1:23 AM
#4

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Sep 2016
20822
LifelineByNature said:
Cheating (especially by married women) is incredibly common.

The birth rate is low mostly due to poor wages, not "people being too scared to date".

Sounds more like the birth rate is low mostly due to low fidelity, I mean why would a man support building a family if it's likely he'll get cucked?
Sep 3, 1:27 AM
#5
lagom
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Jan 2009
106919
Reply to LifelineByNature
@deg It's hard to give a solid "how big", but it's big enough that basically every train station and often other places with escalators will have posters telling people to watch out for people taking videos up the skirt of schoolkids. Most of the crimes are voyeuristic, or exhibitionist, with light touching but rarely beyond that. Not to say it's any less of a crime, though.

I worked with a paedophile once. When I was a teacher. He was, too. Constantly cuddling the elementary school kids. I found out about his massive stash of loli porn, and I reported it.

They did nothing. At all. And the police wouldn't do anything either, because "it's legal". Even though he's a teacher, so it's a clear red flag.

Lolicon translates to "paedophile" in general usage. If you see it being used by normal Japanese people, or in newspapers, then it has the same connotation as paedophile does in the west.

As for forgiveness - good question. There's the idea that it's a victimless crime in many cases when it's just consumption of CSAM. But there are much worse cases where the criminal only got a few years in jail, which I find quite disturbing, because the kid is ruined for life after that.
@LifelineByNature i see thanks for replying also i do have some idea taken from ai chatbots like gemini that underreporting of sexual assault is a big problem there in japan while anonymous surveys will show high sexual assault incidents among young women and teenagers
Sep 3, 1:30 AM
#6

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Jan 2008
696
Reply to deg
@LifelineByNature i see thanks for replying also i do have some idea taken from ai chatbots like gemini that underreporting of sexual assault is a big problem there in japan while anonymous surveys will show high sexual assault incidents among young women and teenagers
@deg Yeah, underreporting is a problem worldwide but in Japan it's unlikely you'll see much justice unless you have hard evidence (not just for sex crimes), so many people feel it isn't even worth reporting it to begin with either.

Supreme Seireitei - Captain of the 10th Court Guard Squad



Sep 3, 1:33 AM
#7

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Jan 2008
696
Reply to Zarutaku
LifelineByNature said:
Cheating (especially by married women) is incredibly common.

The birth rate is low mostly due to poor wages, not "people being too scared to date".

Sounds more like the birth rate is low mostly due to low fidelity, I mean why would a man support building a family if it's likely he'll get cucked?
@Zarutaku There's also that aspect perhaps. The main reason is women still have a more traditional view of dating (ie. man paying). Men can't afford to pay, so they don't date. And even when married, the cost of living just for yourselves is pretty high, so people don't want to add complications. Especially since both partners need to work.

I actually did the government "after school care worker" qualification, and they basically said up front that they started pushing more after school care because "the one-person working family is no longer viable for the vast majority of people".

So their solution - instead of pushing up wages - was to have kids spend most of their formative years away from their parents.

That's a great plan (not).

But yeah, infidelity is big. A big part of that also comes down to work culture - men are vastly more likely to work overtime. Most of the cheaters I was with (note: I didn't know they were married until later, and ended it when I found out) were part timers. So they have way more time, and their husband is tired and always working, so they get "lonely". A problem of inequality in the working expectations, if anything.

Supreme Seireitei - Captain of the 10th Court Guard Squad



Sep 3, 1:45 AM
#8

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Aug 2014
1028
are the women there just as evil as they are in the states

penis lol
Sep 3, 1:46 AM
#9

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Jan 2008
696
Reply to incel
are the women there just as evil as they are in the states
@incel I've never been to the states to use as a frame of reference. But people in general, all around the world, can be shitty almost all of the time. And will justify it in the way that makes them look best.

Supreme Seireitei - Captain of the 10th Court Guard Squad



Sep 3, 5:31 AM

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May 2018
1193
Oh cool an actual person talking about living in japan.

Only got one question, how are the more rural areas in terms of tolerance and hospitality for foreigners. I'd love to have a road trip all across Japan and that'd include a lot of rural areas and spots and really do wonder how they'd react. Probably a plus that I ain't a white american pig
Sep 3, 9:57 AM

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Aug 2017
1261
The age of consent in Japan was recently raised from 13!.... except, it wasn't. Well, the national age was, but the national law was superceded about 60 years ago when the government devolved powers to individual prefectures. Ever since 1960 or so, it's been 18 basically everywhere except Okinawa. However, due to sex tourists googling "japan legal age" and finding the old (outdated, not in use) law, the government had to revise a completely worthless law in order to combat foreign perverts. Hurray!


Thank you! I get tired of having to correct people whenever I see them spreading the "age of consent in Japan is 13 lolololol" misconception. It is true that the federal minimum was 13 until recently, but the provincial ages, which take precedence, range from 16 to 18 depending where you are (inb4 "why are you so knowledgeable on this subject?")

Also, as a Canadian who has thought of visiting Japan at some point in the future, would you say the general population of urban areas like Tokyo has gotten sick of foreign tourists? I'm aware no culture is a hive-mind and the general opinion will likely differ depending on the generation, but do you think as long as I remember my すみませんs and ありがとうございましたs I'll be treated well enough?
Some of you never watched Bakugan Battle Brawlers on TeleToon in 2008 and it shows.
Sep 3, 10:02 AM

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Sep 2018
14181
What are your favorite japanese dishes?
Sep 3, 12:32 PM

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Oct 2015
6680
I reckon the median age in Japan was around 45 when you first moved, and is 50 now. Do you see the social services and infrastructure suffer as a result of the higher dependency ratio (worker population / dependent population) that occurred in the decade since? Has it visibly affected in your life in a negative way, do you imagine it will later down the line?
Sep 3, 4:36 PM

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Oct 2017
5198
How is the Japanese social studies curriculum? Usually I hear it's pretty bad, though just wondering what they actually cover over there.

LifelineByNature said:
I worked with a paedophile once. When I was a teacher. He was, too. Constantly cuddling the elementary school kids. I found out about his massive stash of loli porn, and I reported it.

They did nothing. At all. And the police wouldn't do anything either, because "it's legal". Even though he's a teacher, so it's a clear red flag.
Wow lol. That guy should have been fired, and then an inquiry done. Surprised admin didn't do anything, most admin usually have kids, and the last thing you want is creeps around them.
BilboBaggins365Sep 3, 4:41 PM
Sep 3, 5:19 PM
Tobias

Online
Oct 2023
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What region do you live in, and whats your favorite part about it? I loved being in Tokyo, but I’d like to know what other places are like!
Sep 3, 5:29 PM
🌷Weiß Engel🐇

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I find this thread highly unrelatable tbh.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Sep 3, 5:48 PM
Nostalgia Rules!

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Jun 2008
13423
Oh yeah you're that dude I talked to in the introduction forum. Wow I had no idea you lived in Japan, now I'm even more jealous! 😭
Sep 3, 5:55 PM

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Cheating (especially by married women) is incredibly common.

Buying a plane ticket as I type this; thanks for the tip, fellow gaijin!
Prophetess of the Golden Era
Sep 3, 6:50 PM
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Nov 2013
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Reply to Deathko
Cheating (especially by married women) is incredibly common.

Buying a plane ticket as I type this; thanks for the tip, fellow gaijin!
@Deathko Chasing the trends like a true businessman 😂
Yesterday, 6:44 AM

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Jan 2021
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I dont think there is any scope for me as a medical student to go and live in Japan but still, what are the possibilities and whats the lifestyle for a doctor there.
My dad also plans to visit Japan next year but its quite a short trip. Whats the best and cheap souvenir I can get from there which I can use or wear everyday.
If you enjoyed the time you wasted, then its not a waste of time.

Yesterday, 7:07 AM

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Jun 2016
13808
How easy is it to find a church? Language isn't relevant. Mass and divine liturgy are the same everywhere.
MEA·MENTVLA·INGENS·EST
Yesterday, 8:27 PM
ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

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Aug 2014
8686
How do you feel about visiting your local library and sharing some of the educational videos (https://myanimelist.net/clubs.php?cid=72947)?

(Thank you for sharing your experience, I enjoyed reading your post.)
Yesterday, 8:31 PM
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Dec 2022
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Theo1899 said:
How easy is it to find a church? Language isn't relevant. Mass and divine liturgy are the same everywhere.


I think you have to specify which rite for accuracy.
Today, 6:01 AM

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Jul 2013
2487
Why would I want to teach English to folks over there? I speak several languages (including Japanese) now. Pretty soon, I'll learn Korean after Mandarin (already know how to write challenging Chinese characters) and besides, I don't have to teach them shit.

I could! but I'll have to charge so pay up fool! People may also have to pay me to teach them south Pacific languages using that many particles comparatively to Japanese (I know enough to prepare for whatever scams they try to pull).

I'm just going to Japan to purchase media like anime in its original language, those highly durable waterstones and other goodies.

You heard that right! buy anime in its respective language and in cash. Cash over American plastic or PayPal by weak companies.

Weak American payment processor companies can each take those terms of service and shove it up their asses. I'll pay for anime and even uncensored visual novels with cash someway so good luck to those crooks denying me of their infernal services.

With Japan bearing the burdens like high cost of living, housing discrimination and natural disasters, I'll be living in my future homestead far, far away. They can keep their quakes that far away from me and my future homestead.

Assault? Against a real man that already knows kickboxing like me? good luck using your karate against me which will probably be mediocre. It'll take more than a black belt to prove your skills in a real fight. To keep me from kicking your ass to a dumpster. Expose you like Xu Xiaodong when challenging me to a fight.

Again! I'll just go there for shopping and then moving on.

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It’s time to ditch the text file.
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