Taking risks: A moment of cringe

Oct 12, 2020 6:04 AM

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Jul 2018

561791

If you’re not cringing you’re not living. You’ve got to cringe to win the minge, I say.

Think about it. What’s a possible moment of cringe vs a possible lifetime of happiness? Or at least a couple of months of sex?

This is why I say throw caution to the wind and shoot your shot. You want a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Go for it!

That’s how I met my fiancée. I was driving to work and I saw a stunning girl walking like she had somewhere to be. Like she had purpose. And she was beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her and nobody else in the crowd mattered to me. I hastily parked up my car and ran to find her. She had just walked into the supermarket. I caught up and started talking. I didn’t even think about what to say or how it might come across.

She didn’t seem very interested in talking to me but she was listening to what I was saying. She was internally deciding whether or not I was worth her time. I made small talk with her and slowly she started to let her guard down. We left the supermarket (she only grabbed two items) and then we walked and talked and I asked for her number. She thought for a moment and then decided to give me a chance. Turns out it wasn’t a fake number. We went on dates and all went well. On the second date I touched her thigh lightly in my car. She jumped and gasped. I apologised. At the end of that date we were walking back to my car and she suddenly kissed me.

After two months of dating she started asking about when we were going to have sex. I didn’t try to rush into the sex I was focused on getting a relationship. She was the first to mention sex. I told her i didn’t bring it up or initiate it because I didn’t want her to think that was all that I wanted her for.

Unfortunately, just a few months later I discovered that there are actual transsexuals in my city and I found out about dating sites and apps. And the rest is history.

I met my fiancée end of 2010. We have broken up a few times since then. If I didn’t risk that moment of cringe I wouldn’t have her now...

But you know what? I would have someone else....
Because unlike some of you; I actually risk it for the biscuit.

Now before you accuse me of bragging why don’t you consider that I am trying to show you guys something here. There is a lesson to be learned. There is a moral to the story here.

Anybody got any thoughts?

removed-userOct 12, 2020 6:58 AM

Oct 12, 2020 6:30 AM

cigare

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Jun 2020

2642

I have a theory that BannedAkko and ZeroFlamez are actually siblings and one is successful with girls (Akko) and the other is not (Flamez). This right here could be the crucial part of this fucking story and that Flamez was hitting on the girl Akko coincidentally met, but the odds wanted Akko to be the "chosen" one. The dispute (mainly on Flamez's part) is still ongoing, apparently.

Oct 12, 2020 6:32 AM

Zlyiond

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Jul 2020

2838

I'm sorry, I'm pretty socially reserved, even on the internet; I like to play things safe, rarely getting to arguments unless they're necessary.

I like your threads BTW.

Oct 12, 2020 6:33 AM

FlowerFcll

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Oct 2020

I cringe looking back on shit I did yesterday lmaoo

Oct 12, 2020 6:48 AM

Bakchos

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Jun 2019

2090

It is not cringe if it is successful, only if it fails. Give things a try then and hope for the best.

Leading biologist Scott Pitnick said:
The bigger your 'nads, the smaller your brains

Oct 12, 2020 6:50 AM

rohan121

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Sep 2018

14450

Without looks or wealth their is no point to even try to hit on people. Unwanted attention is considered sexual harassment in many areas.

Oct 12, 2020 6:55 AM

ger_weeb86

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Oct 2020

When you don't take yourself so serious than you don't matter if you are cringing right now or not. So yeah be cringe, don't be so serious and risk things in live.

Oct 12, 2020 6:56 AM

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

That was actually a pretty good post. I don't care if some people say it is a little 'braggy', some people need to learn to go out there and try, despite a high of chance of rejection.

This whole 'risk it for the biscuit' concept is the reason why I just recently started using Tinder. I am probably going to be shut down and rejected multiple times, but if somewhere in the madness and sadness there are moments of minute significance, like the chance of finding my future partner, then I won't hesitate to try it.

Oct 12, 2020 7:47 AM

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

The unsolicited advice was a little cringe in itself, but I agree with the message of taking risks to accomplish something. Especially when that something is worth the risk.

Oct 12, 2020 8:33 AM

#10

Kaasfondue

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Apr 2020

1686

Well, yeah, but not giving a fuck is something you need to practice too. And how you met your current GF is peak chadness, I'm not sure what it has to do with cringe.

People who get nervous from socializing with strangers don't do so because they cringe at themselves, they fear getting embarassed and being judged. I wouldn't call that "cringe", as irrational as it is they legitimately feel that fear, and it's not something they can switch off by pressing a button. It's a mental block that takes months or years to get over.

@rohan121 Or just lower your standards?

Oct 12, 2020 9:31 AM

#11

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

Kaasfondue said:
Well, yeah, but not giving a fuck is something you need to practice too. And how you met your current GF is peak chadness, I'm not sure what it has to do with cringe.

People who get nervous from socializing with strangers don't do so because they cringe at themselves, they fear getting embarassed and being judged. I wouldn't call that "cringe", as irrational as it is they legitimately feel that fear, and it's not something they can switch off by pressing a button. It's a mental block that takes months or years to get over.

@rohan121 Or just lower your standards?

Lol thanks. And back then I had never heard of this word ‘chad’. So it’s ridiculous for people to say a chad wouldn’t call himself a chad. Definitions are definitions. I didn’t ask to be a chad. I just became one because I wanted a girl and I did something about it. Over and over and over again.

Deleted quote removed

CareBearOct 13, 2020 11:50 PM

Oct 12, 2020 11:20 AM

#12

ApexPredatorr

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Sep 2020

I get the message. And it's a good message from op.
Though op has still brain damage.
Not everyone can be brave. Some are. I am.

"a"

I don't need floaties (>_>)

Oct 12, 2020 12:18 PM

#13

Catalano

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Oct 2010

22034

well, I met my ex in a funnier way, I was at a house party and I was drunk, then I sat on a couch and there was a girl, she talked to me for some reason and I acted like a smartass, pretending that I was a beer connoisseur and all that shit, I didn't even tell her I was from Romania, I said I'm from EU, yes, I was kinda lame. After a week I ran into her at the same house party, she approached me and we got together yada yada yada.

Oct 12, 2020 12:19 PM

#14

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

I rarely venture outside of my comfort zone in regards to relationships. Getting into relationships have always ever caused problems for me, even if they were just online relationships. I would be wasting my time talking to an attractive girl anyway.

Oct 12, 2020 12:31 PM

#15

Monotonous

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Aug 2007

1386

"Do you want a girlfriend? Be in a romantic relationship, and eventually get married and have kids?" It's obvious that most of the people would want that. Most.

Now let's slightly change the question..

"Are you willing to experience the hardships, the conflicts, the shortcomings, that comes with it?" Everyone suddenly stops and is now unsure.

I still disagree about the cheating part, but that's just me. That is one thing that will never be normalized in my book. Other than that, I agree with what OP is trying to convey.

もろともに
哀れと思へ
山桜

花より外に
知る人もなし.

On a mountain slope,
Solitary, uncompanioned,
Stands a cherry tree.

Except for you, lonely friend,
To others I am unknown.

Oct 12, 2020 1:33 PM

#16

Erg_Orgy

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Jun 2016

5311

Well yeah, failure (and cringe I suppose) is an integral part of life, nothing else helps us gauge our ability to do something than seeing how, why and where we fail. Sure half the time it makes you feel like shit but it at least gives you a point of comparison for later.
As the big man Mr. Funke said:
Cause I'm definitely not where I used to be,
But I'm nowhere near where I wanna be.

You gotta appreciate how far you've come, but you also gotta keep that hunger up, so keep throwing yourself at shit so you can fail and see what you gotta do better.

Also, get outta here with Jay-Z man, I love the dude but that's not a hype song.
This is a hype song.

Erg_OrgyOct 12, 2020 1:48 PM

Oct 12, 2020 1:36 PM

#17

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

I agree to an extent. The fact is, in most cases, the guy has to be the forward one who initiates with the other person. I'm 28 (male) and to this day I have never been asked out. But I have asked out a lot of women and had a lot of good responses and some good experiences. You just have to suck it up and be the forward one and talk to people. Be friendly and nice, be relaxed, make her laugh (if that's your thing), be confident, etc., be well groomed, have a clean look, wear good looking clothes

I'm a very sensitive person and I tend to be more on the "careful" side. Perhaps that can be changed, I don't know. Anyway, I'm very sensitive and really don't like upsetting people, so if that's the case, it's very tricky to play the game of being a guy who is forward enough but also careful enough not to upset people. I have upset some people anyway, that just goes with taking the risks. But as the "careful" (or whatever) person I am, it's been rare that I've upset or offended people. It's more often that I've had positive reactions. I really don't like that the guy is "supposed" to be the more forward one, as I often tend to be a more passive, introverted, and/or shy and/or careful person. But you just have to suck it up and be the forward one. Well, most often, anyway.

There are a few times where I didn't think quickly enough, and if I had said or done something different, it might have led to something more. But I didn't even think to "say this" or "do that" until long afterward. (In those cases, I kind of tried to "remedy" it later on, but unfortunately that didn't work out, the opportunity was already passed).

Anyway, taking the shot/taking the risk/putting yourself out there is important, usually, for a guy who wants sex and relationship. Perhaps I could do so a little bit more than I already do. Or a lot more. Probably need to update my wardrobe a bit first. And get a little bit back into shape.

Next part would have been more personal to put in second person "you" but wanted to keep it consistent and put it in 3rd person as part of the discussion.

The other part I wanted to comment on, and perhaps I'm getting too personal here or maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but based on some other threads Akko has made in the past saying some things about his relationship, where (at least a couple months ago) it sounded like it wasn't a good idea to go forward with the relationship but they both have their name on the deed to the house so they're stuck. First I want to say that I'm not hating on Akko or anything, just giving my opinion in the context of a public discussion, and again, talking about a relationship that admittedly I may have no idea what I'm talking about. But my thought/comment was, that while being as forward and active as Akko obviously seems to be able to result in more sex and more relationships, perhaps Akko is a little too zealous and doesn't evaluate enough of whether the person is actually good for him or not. If I'm with someone who I've broken up with multiple times, is very controlling and doesn't trust me (because I cheat on her), and she cheated on me, that sounds like a mess and where, while there are good feelings in terms of meaningful emotional connection, personal emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and sex, it still sounds like a pretty toxic relationship that honestly I'm glad I'm not in. To me, no relationship is better than a relationship that causes me a lot of suffering and pain.

If you're not careful enough and choosy enough and evaluating and insightful/intuitive about people, you can get involved with some people who are really not good for you.

I'm really not saying that to be disrespectful to Akko, just saying that while being forward and actively socializing and talking with women is good, I think it's healthy to also add in a layer of evaluation to see if the person is good for me or not.

removed-userOct 12, 2020 2:04 PM

Oct 12, 2020 2:09 PM

#18

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

Watch this scene guys and girls. Listen to the dad! Pops knows what’s up.

Oct 12, 2020 2:11 PM

#19

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

Oh I have something ready for cringe

https://youtu.be/UZ5fAa_VOu8

Oct 12, 2020 3:06 PM

#20

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

Catalano said:
well, I met my ex in a funnier way, I was at a house party and I was drunk, then I sat on a couch and there was a girl, she talked to me for some reason and I acted like a smartass, pretending that I was a beer connoisseur and all that shit, I didn't even tell her I was from Romania, I said I'm from EU, yes, I was kinda lame. After a week I ran into her at the same house party, she approached me and we got together yada yada yada.

lmao you are so funny man! You make a great friend too. It’s hilarious the way that you speak about Romania 🇷🇴

@murrin I don’t know if my fiancée has ever cheated but I do know that when we were broken up for a year and a half that she fucked at least two other guys but that doesn’t count as cheating. Snooped through her phone a few times and only found two questionable / suspicious things so compared to other girls she’s almost squeaky clean. But anyway I say a normal relationship will have ups and downs and break ups. Why do people expect to never have problems with their so?

@erg_orgy lol nice song. Good to see you back around too!

Deleted quote removed

CareBearOct 13, 2020 11:50 PM

Oct 12, 2020 3:13 PM

#21

Catalano

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Oct 2010

22034

@BannedAkko
well, romania is like an isekai, it's the funniest place to live, you have to be a real man of culture to know how things work here, you won't believe me but I have some weird stories about this country, for starters, there was a 21 year old chick who beat up 6 police men and security guards because she was drunk and angry. Name a country where this stuff happen.

Oct 12, 2020 3:34 PM

#22

Nyarlathothep

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Oct 2015

2107

You are right there. I have an history of missing opportunities due to fear of rejection (I have been rejected when trying, at times)

Oct 12, 2020 3:48 PM

#23

Kosmonaut

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Feb 2019

4369

I agree with you, OP. Taking chances and maybe coming across as cringe shouldn't be something people are so afraid of. I've been 'cringy' plenty of times in my life, but it'd only be a waste if I didn't learn anything from my missteps or if didn't end up working out somehow.

Cringe culture is dead and we killed it.

Oct 12, 2020 5:31 PM

#24

swivel

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Jun 2020

2218

I agree, being cringe is kind of subjective in my opinion. Yes, there are things that are almost universally deemed as cringe but I'd honestly just say "fuck it" and take the leap.

Might as well take the shot, if it's with a close friend, they probably wouldn't even care.

If it's with a quick date or some one-night-stand, it's not like they're going to remember me LMAO

❏ ❐ ❑ ❒

Oct 12, 2020 7:36 PM

#25

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

BannedAkko said:
@murrin I don’t know if my fiancée has ever cheated but I do know that when we were broken up for a year and a half that she fucked at least two other guys but that doesn’t count as cheating. Snooped through her phone a few times and only found two questionable / suspicious things so compared to other girls she’s almost squeaky clean. But anyway I say a normal relationship will have ups and downs and break ups. Why do people expect to never have problems with their so?

Sorry, I remembered the "her cheating" part wrong. I agree that breaking up and sleeping w/ other people is not cheating.

Inserting here, that I am really only meaning to discuss this from a philisophical or general standpoint. More info at bottom.

Any relationship will have ups and downs, of different magnitude depending on the relationship and depending on the people. But in my opinion, I think there's a limit as to when those ups and downs go too far. Ups and downs are a normal part of a healthy relationship. But I don't think cheating is a part of a healthy relationship. Yes you can work past it and many couples successfully do. But I still would not consider it to be part of a "healthy" relationship. And also, I would not consider breaking up and getting back together (especially multiple times) to be part of a healthy relationship. I feel like, if 1 (or both) of the ppl in the relationship are so hurt by the other person that they want to really break up for real, and do, that doesn't seem healthy to me. Everyone gets hurt in a relationship but for it to be that extreme? That doesn't seem healthy to me.

Also I was hesitant to post this reply, only because I am discussing this from a philosophical or general standpoint, but since your relationship is being used as an example, my comments could come off as me trying to convince you to change something in your relationship, which I am not trying to. You are an adult and your relationship is your decision. I am only intending to discuss these things from a philosophical or general standpoint.

Oct 12, 2020 7:43 PM

#26

Soverign

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Dec 2016

7183

Neoguri-ramen said:
Oh I have something ready for cringe

https://youtu.be/UZ5fAa_VOu8

I hate you and you hate me
Lets get together and kill Barney...

I can't do this alone. Dinocide is risky.
Fuckin protected species.

Oct 13, 2020 9:36 AM

#27

mangekyou47

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Sep 2020

594

I prefer playing it safe...Risks are not for me

"If I get reincarnated… I wanna become a clam.” – Monkey D Luffy

Oct 13, 2020 10:05 AM

#28

removed-user

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Jul 2018

561791

Murrin said:

Well for my relationship she doesn’t like to break up. Sometimes she says we are over but she doesn’t mean it lol. When I say we are over I mean it. I broke up with her a few times. First was when a new church I was going to said I should because we had had premarital sex. Second was because I felt guilty about all my cheating so I wanted to let her go. Third was because she hit me.

As for philosophically looking at relationships I think that what is considered to be healthy will vary and even if something is unhealthy it doesn’t mean it has to be cut out or even dealt with. How many obese people are around in the world? How many greedy people? How many addicts? These unhealthy people are still happy in their lives and going about their day and being productive (some of them).

There are even people who are attracted to dysfunctional relationships so I think it’s okay for a relationship to not be perfect. It is more admirable to me to hear about a couple that has been together for 30 years and been through a lot of shit together than it is to hear about a couple that have never had a fight in the 2 year that they have been together. Thur relationship has never been tested whereas nothing is going to tear apart the first couple.

Things are great for the most part between my fiancée and I. And there are plenty of women that I didn’t pursue or cut off because they weee not a good fit for me. I actually have standards. There are many types of women that I won’t touch for a longterm relationship. Only select few types of women can be considered for marriage and child rearing. And for me my fiancée being controlling is a good thing. It shows that she cares.

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Taking risks: A moment of cringe

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