| Betraying someone's trust in a relationship can really destroy a lot of things. Makes it real hard to regain the trust that once was. That is why I think it is important to set certain rules and expectations in a relationship and communicate them to one another. It would break my heart if I had a partner and they would cheat on me unless obviously it is an open relationship and it has been discussed beforehand but then it isn't really cheating anymore to begin with. |
| i feel if someone cheated on me it is THEIR LOST. |
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Peaceful_Critic said: Cheating is never justified. It's a wrong act in itself. The proper steps would be to break up first and then do what you want. However, I do believe that you should be able to communicate if there are things you wish the other to change and then analyse together how relations can improve - provided, both are interested in keeping their relationshipYeah, I'm against cheating generally. There might be some extreme examples, where it was because the person the cheater was with was abusive, in which case it would be justified. However, otherwise, it's wrong to do so. Also, it depends on the level of cheating and on how much tolerance the cheated person has |
AngryAkko said: Everyone thinks it won’t happen to them. That they won’t get cheated on. That they won’t become a cheat. I hope it works out and these things never come to pass. But if they do remember that life goes on. Some people feel so strongly about this shit that they may very well commit suicide over it. It’s really not worth dying / killing over. So you see - I’m not really a villain. I am warning you and all the other optimistic people because I was once like you guys. I too was fooled and deceived. Nah, don't try to drag everyone to the same place you are. I can't control whether I'll be cheated on or not, but I can definitely control if I will become a cheater. It's not optimism to make the decision to be a good/better person. It is a conscious decision that you gotta make everyday. You just didn't find the maturity and emotional strenght to do it. I can tell you that, because I'm a sh*tbag of pessimism, but I am still making that decision. |
| i'd end a relationship if someone cheated, but i'm possessive different people have different values it's an awful thing to do, but it's hardly the worst like some people say |
Peaceful_Critic said: I don't think that an injustice can be used in exchange for another injustice. It may not be the best thing to do, but there's an understandable reason behind that action if the person is abusive. |
AngryAkko said: or, you know, you could always just do an open relationshipJist don’t be with the person... this is where a lot of you guys don’t understand cheaters. It’s not always about the person that we are with. You would do better to say, “Cheaters shouldn’t date at all.” Besides, in my current case I can’t be happy with one person no matter who they are. This is due to my sexuality not just my past hurts and deeds. I desire to have a family in wedlock with a woman. I have always desired this due to my Christian upbringing. I even wanted to get married as a virgin but I didn’t make it. On the other hand I am also attracted to transsexuals. And they give better head than most women and they can’t get pregnant which is the best and the worst thing about them. I can’t have a family of my own with a transsexual. And women are not as great at all things sexual as the transsexuals. This is of course in my experience (which is substantial). And so rather than ping ponging about from one relationship to the next it is better for my end goal to stay with a woman and cheat on her with transsexuals. Everyone wins. I didn’t ask for life to be like this. This is just how life is for me. We all have our flaws. We all have our addictions. We all have our skeletons. We’ve all done things that go against our moral code. For me cheating began as vengeance and it came from a place of hurt and pain. But now it’s about something else entirely. Ideals vs desire. Love vs lust. Control vs freedom. Suppression vs liberation. And so on. I can only go without cheating for so long. I will always fall off of the wagon again eventually. And cheating is only one problem I have. We all have problems and we either know about them or we don’t. or you could adopt with a transsexual or you could stop fetishizing transsexuals if you're not memeing, you're a disgusting human lol |
Noboru said: eh, it's not really black and whitePeaceful_Critic said: I don't think that an injustice can be used in exchange for another injustice. It may not be the best thing to do, but there's an understandable reason behind that action if the person is abusive. i'd consider killing to be immoral but if you're killing to save a life it's a bit different some people are literally trapped in abusive relationships etc |
hverfa said: The killing to save a life depends on the circumstances: if it's self-defence, then I find it justified. If it's a scenario like with the trolley, then it remains immoral to kill an innocent person even when I can more than understand people who want to minimise the damage or if someone precious to the person is among the track the trolley would run into without interventioneh, it's not really black and white i'd consider killing to be immoral but if you're killing to save a life it's a bit different Peaceful_Critic said: You may not care, but there can be cases in which someone gets called "abusive" even when they aren't really and there are people, who might have actually been abused, but still want to treat the other person properly, regardless how much they were hurt by them, intentionally or notI don't really care about the injustice done to the abuser, as it's negligible in comparison to what they have done to that person. |
MugenDorimu said: I can't tolerate cheating that's what I think before I got into relationship, but the fact is I got cheated on by my ex, and it not once, it happen 3 times, when the 1st and 2nd I try hard to forgive her, because she swear she won't do it again, but after the 3rd times, I can't believe even when she beg me not to end our relationship. And I hate every cheaters / players, both man or woman, I think it's disgraceful behavior. I would like to hear her reason why she begs you for not breaking up with her when she cheated you thrice and potentially can do more. Like, if she keeps cheating on you, why she still has a desire to keep her relationship with you intact? |
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Tennouji said: MugenDorimu said: I can't tolerate cheating that's what I think before I got into relationship, but the fact is I got cheated on by my ex, and it not once, it happen 3 times, when the 1st and 2nd I try hard to forgive her, because she swear she won't do it again, but after the 3rd times, I can't believe even when she beg me not to end our relationship. And I hate every cheaters / players, both man or woman, I think it's disgraceful behavior. I would like to hear her reason why she begs you for not breaking up with her when she cheated you thrice and potentially can do more. Like, if she keeps cheating on you, why she still has a desire to keep her relationship with you intact? To play armchair psychologist, probably because the relationship was fulfilling some kind of need for her. She cheated because there was some other need/desire that wasn't being fulfilled for her in the relationship. Being cheated on fucking sucks. |
Mila91 said: Well, yes. The express difference is consent between the partners.What about these people who let their partner have sex with someone else and they are okay with it? They even like to watch. Does cheating even exist for these people? This is not even to mention the concept of threesomes, orgies or whatever where your partner is bound to fuck someone else... The word you're looking for is cuckolding, btw. |
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Tennouji said: I would like to hear her reason why she begs you for not breaking up with her when she cheated you thrice and potentially can do more. Like, if she keeps cheating on you, why she still has a desire to keep her relationship with you intact? Sorry I can't explain it well because my lack of english skill but here's: I got to know her with messanger, she got my contact from my friends, like I said, she's kind of player who's looking for man's wealth, she seducing man for their money and that was her motive to be close with me too (at first), after a month communicating she ask me to meet her, she confess to me and we're going out, My intention in relationship is serious, so I was so close with her parents, and her parents like me too. Not long after we going out, I found out she was cheating on me with one of her ex, and when I ask her about that, she admit it and asking me to forgive her (without telling me why she cheat on me), she want to keep me as her future husband she said, because I'm the first man to be close with her family, and cares for her while the others (all her ex) only cares for her body, that's what she said. AngryAkko said: I can't tell you not to take it to heart because it is impossible. But I will tell you that she most likely was tellign the truth when she said you are the first one that is honest and cares for her. She is broken inside and so am I. It is hard for us cheaters too. We know we are being selfish. We know how much we are hurting the person we are with that loves us and cares for us. But we can't stop ourselves. Its complicated. Every cheater has their own reasons. The most hardcore ones probably truly don't care anymore. Like the people who catch HIV and deliberately try to infect as many as possible sort of thing. At that point its not even cheating anymore its straight up criminal. People go to jail for that shit. Sorry dude, I can understand your point, but still like Noboru said, Cheating is never justified. It's a wrong act in itself, whatever the reason. |
MugenDorimuAug 10, 2020 6:02 PM
ささやかれし ひそやかなる二つの心 愛の舞、神聖なる旋律 嵐と太陽を超え、永遠の真実 ふたつの魂、輝かしい色彩 永遠の炎、すべての夜を通じて 愛の交響曲、永遠の飛翔。 |
AngryAkko said: Preachee said: I've read somewhere online about this topic, which says a person often cheats because they yearn for adventurousness and curiosity fulfillment. It's a feeling that exceeds normal excitement, defies logic and is wrong and desecrated, which are thus chained up behind social respectability and so make people awfully curious. It's wrong, but psychology, or not really psychology only freud himself, says it can't be helped. You're not yourself anymore at that point. Which begs the question who is your true self anyway. But yeah, it's incredibly difficult, almost impossible, for a lot of people. Idk, but I think even they sometimes don't want that, but they can't help it. Is your year of birth really 2008? All of your posts are so insightful and well put together. Like one of those loli anime characters that is 1000 years old or whatever. I thought the birthdate was already an obvious joke but it seems not to people, which apparently includes you. But it doesn't matter. It induces a lot of interesting reactions from people, moreover my age, nationality, gender and so on really don't matter here and none might even be true. So an advice from me is, don't trust any given birthdate or gender provided on an anonymous forum site. |
| . . . |
AngryAkko said: You are right. I didn’t / don’t have the strength. And that made me depressed for years. I was on my knees praying to God to deliver me from temptation (literally). Went cold turkey a few times and erased my pornstashes several times. Cut people off. Didn’t date anybody for a year even. I couldn’t stop, nothing cured me. Not even NoFap. Not even an accountability partner from a church. And so I had to embrace it. It is a part of me whether I like it or not. I went through the 5 stages of death. Don't take this negatively, but you might want to search professional psychological help. That would help you create better coping mechanisms with whatever you're going/went through. And, personally, I think you have a problem of resignation. oooo0oo000 said: To play armchair psychologist, probably because the relationship was fulfilling some kind of need for her. She cheated because there was some other need/desire that wasn't being fulfilled for her in the relationship. Being cheated on fucking sucks. That's probably the case. Often cheaters have personal problems of self-esteem and self-indulgence that they can't control by themselves. That doesn't make it any less of a worse act of betrayal, though. No one has to accept that toxicity, and if someone cheats on you, just leave them. It's not worth it to maintain the relationship, neither it is to stress over it and drain your mental health with hate towards them. I mean, not unless you're into that kind of stuff (at which point it's hardly cheating anymore). As people said before, consent is the key element here. |
| Cheating is the worst thing anyone can do that isn't a crime, and it's worse than most crimes in addition to that. Just knowing someone has cheated on someone else at one point in their life is enough for me to totally want to disassociate myself from them for good. I wholeheartedly feel about cheaters the way edgelords on twitter talk about pedophiles. |
| Dropping your favorite show |
| (Never been in a relationship so I can't say anything from experience but) It's a real pos move to pull when you're married imo When it comes to dating? It's just a dumb decision really. Since it obviously means you aren't satisfied in your relationship and you could of just broken up with them. By cheating you effectively ruin both that person's ability to trust/love another person for a long while and your own reputation, making it harder to find the kind of partner that you actually want. Which was the reason you cheated! I don't understand it, if cheating has you lose something and breaking up doesn't....why cheat? It's one of the things I've never understood about people. |
| "The world is not beautiful, therefore it is." -Kino's Journey |
| No relationship, no problems. Can't get cheated that way. |
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| Cheating is an absolute no go for me. My parents had a nightmare divorce and my father cheated on mum multible times. Even tho I was just the kid in the relationship it messed me up and gave me trust issues. I am extremely envy due to this. I cheating is bad and ruins families. I told my bf as soon as I find out he cheated in me it's instand over. |
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Peaceful_Critic said: There may be no moral obligation, but it makes the living for everyone and including the person themselves better.I don't think people have a moral obligation to personally treat everyone well all the time. If someone is hitting you or trying to control your life, you are in your full right to be rude to them or to try to find another healthier relationship via cheating. I agree with the outcome "try to find another, healthier relationship", but not with the means "via cheating". Violence is no solution, but what you call as "controlling" or "abusive" is a question on whether it is actually like that or whether the partner just did things the other person didn't like and ended up demonising them. In the former case, the proper steps would be to leave immediately and to call the police if you feel threatened. In the latter case, depending on how much you feel about them, you might at least give them another chance, but that might also depend on how long you've been together and the intensity of your relationship. In all cases: as long as it's not a clear decision that is independent of a subjective, biased impression, hearing the other person out is the least you could do |
NoboruAug 11, 2020 5:07 AM
| It's something I expect in marriage (mainly due to watching marriage/cheating dramas), I feel long lasting marriages exist but it's quite rare. I find cheating as a standard in marriage. |
 just wanna feel wanted by someone other than the police 😫 |
| I think you should leave a relationship if you want to cheat as it's clear you are not compatible as a couple. Just drawing out a relationship with secret affairs is only going to make it worse and it's completely unfair to leave the other person hanging on with a falsehood. It's not necessarily wrong to want to someone else (feelings are not easily quantified or controlled) but you need to cut ties before you pursue them. |
UberBatAug 11, 2020 8:46 AM
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AngryAkko said: Preachee said: I thought the birthdate was already an obvious joke but it seems not to people, which apparently includes you. But it doesn't matter. It induces a lot of interesting reactions from people, moreover my age, nationality, gender and so on really don't matter here and none might even be true. So an advice from me is, don't trust any given birthdate or gender provided on an anonymous forum site. So guilty until proven innocent is it? Well to me I take everything at face value to begin with. I believe in innocent until proven guilty. If you say you are born 2008 I believe you and I will not add you as a friend because I am not a pedo. So you see, people will treat you the way that you present yourself which is the joke as you say. I am meant to believe you. If I didn’t believe you then that means your joke isn’t working. See everyone? I’m still naive even now. Lol right right, I'm at least in uni rn, if you have faith in my words, so you're safe. |
| . . . |
| I absolutely despise it in general, unless under some circumstances where it would be ok |
Conversely, it's okay to abuse a cheater. You can't give degenerate scum any leeway or leverage. There are zero circumstances in which cheating is acceptable behavior. |
| Dropping your favorite show |
GrandEgotist said: Conversely, it's okay to abuse a cheater. You can't give degenerate scum any leeway or leverage. There are zero circumstances in which cheating is acceptable behavior. Yes, abuse a cheater and give them ammunition to use against you in court. No matter how you slice it, abuse is way worse than cheating. So ironically, you're giving them a ton of leverage. |
it's over | we're so back | don't take this too seriously |
henri___ said: Yes, abuse a cheater and give them ammunition to use against you in court. No matter how you slice it, abuse is way worse than cheating. So ironically, you're giving them a ton of leverage. Domestic abuse is saintly behavior compared to cheating. I do think it's probably stupid to abuse someone in response to cheating, for exactly the reason you said, but I wouldn't have any moral qualms with it. |
| Dropping your favorite show |
| I'd never cheat. I dislike it. It is disgusting. Just thinking about it makes my body and emotions feel strange. One of my biggest fears is to get attached to a person who turns out to be a cheater. And I get attached very quickly :( Even played with the thought of marrying a murderer, and it was acceptable in some cases. A cheater is never acceptable. I'm a honest person who likes to solve all issues no mather how difficult they are. I simulated cheating in my head. And to me it looks like it would archeive similar things like procastinating a difficult task. It is just laziness and cowardice. The people who do this don't realize that they are doing something wrong. It's their natural, trained behaviour. Cheating is never an valid option. Cheating once destroys a bond forever. Forever, you can make new bonds, but the old one will be broken. As a user of relation magic, I can see the bonds between humans. Cheaters tend to make alot of bonds, they almost look desperately. (Like me spamming the forum games sometimes, because I have no hobbies.) Those bonds tend to tear apart quickly. They are thin. And the better people, people who don't cheat, have strong bonds. They don't form them often, but they are stronger than humans can even imagine. Those bonds even endure time, so that the connection stays even after the connected have passed away. Sorry for bad writing, I'm tired. |
GrandEgotist said: henri___ said: Yes, abuse a cheater and give them ammunition to use against you in court. No matter how you slice it, abuse is way worse than cheating. So ironically, you're giving them a ton of leverage. Domestic abuse is saintly behavior compared to cheating. I do think it's probably stupid to abuse someone in response to cheating, for exactly the reason you said, but I wouldn't have any moral qualms with it. Domestic abuse is far far far worse then cheating. Cheating hurts emotionally but it's indirect. Domestic abuse hurts emotionally and physically and is direct. |
|
AngryAkko said: Well... good luck! Might wanna brace yourself for impact. Hope you've got your seatbelt on and a working airbag because these people driving crazy out here on the Freeway! Buckle up. I am the most powerful sorcerer of the world and my heart is my strongest muscle. Absolutely nothing will hold me back. The more probable thing to happen is that the other person will not be able to even have slight and honest glance at my shiny awesomeness. They will feel intimidation and fear until they shy away. I sense that you underestimate the amount of wholesomeness and purity which are flourishing in this world. |
AngryAkko said: liquid_soap said: I am the most powerful sorcerer of the world and my heart is my strongest muscle. Absolutely nothing will hold me back. The more probable thing to happen is that the other person will not be able to even have slight and honest glance at my shiny awesomeness. They will feel intimidation and fear until they shy away. I sense that you underestimate the amount of wholesomeness and purity which are flourishing in this world. I'm half Nigerian and half Jamaican but I always hear people calling the west indies and africa shitholes. Even here on MAL. Tell me great witch. Where is the wholesomeness in that? Off topic I know so how about this one. Why is marriage such a bad deal for men nowadays? Where is the wholesomeness in a woman cheating on her husband and then divorcing him and taking everything he has built and his children? Oh great witch, tell me more about this purity. Why are women wearing white dresses on their wedding day when they are not pure virgins? 1. Look at me, I'm wholesome. It doesn't matter that next to me stand three unwholesome people. I see the good and the bad. 2. Pain makes you stronger, as long as you can overcome it. It's a decision. Be weak or be strong. If you are a man, the ability to build counts, not the building. Money means nothing to a man. Be as wholesome and as shiny as you can, the children will love you no matter how far away you are, your rays of love will reach them if you brighten sky. Be strong and take the pain. No, don't just take it, digest it. It makes you stronger. If you get destroyed, just rebuild yourself. 3. The pure as well as the fithy have both a right to wear the dress of their wishes. I let them. The pure ones aren't the virgins, the virgins are the filthy ones. People remain virgins until they can entrust absoluetely eveything to the other person. |
| @Peaceful_Critic And I'm working under the framework that it's never okay to cheat. If you cheat once for the most extreme cases, you might cheat eventually simply because you are not satisfied with your relationship True, but if it's clearly abuse and they endanger you, you have more than the right to call the police for help Point being: cheating could further enrage the abuser Breaking off might as well, but if you involve the police, it's still the safest choice for actual psychos. Plus, you didn't act unmorally |
AngryAkko said: liquid_soap said: 1. Look at me, I'm wholesome. It doesn't matter that next to me stand three unwholesome people. I see the good and the bad. 2. Pain makes you stronger, as long as you can overcome it. It's a decision. Be weak or be strong. If you are a man, the ability to build counts, not the building. Money means nothing to a man. Be as wholesome and as shiny as you can, the children will love you no matter how far away you are, your rays of love will reach them if you brighten sky. Be strong and take the pain. No, don't just take it, digest it. It makes you stronger. If you get destroyed, just rebuild yourself. 3. The pure as well as the fithy have both a right to wear the dress of their wishes. I let them. The pure ones aren't the virgins, the virgins are the filthy ones. People remain virgins until they can entrust absoluetely eveything to the other person. You are wholesome in your own eyes and perhaps in the eyes of those that you have deceived. No person who has walked this earth is / was wholesome. Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Just because you didn't cheat yet (maybe never even had the opportunity to) doesn't mean you are wholesome. Oh pain has made me stronger, alright. See how defiant I am in the face of all the backlash against me for being human (humans cheat from time to time. Its a thing). 1. Yes 2. Yes 3. It's my decision 4. It's your decision |
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