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To have/take or do a poo? Please help urgent English lesson

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Nov 29, 2017 6:25 PM
#1
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Long story short I'm having a debate about the correct way of saying "I need to poo, or specifically I have to poo". I'm more or less aware that many americans say "take a poo" which is weird cause where are you taking it? And some people say " do a poo" which is also strange, but "have a poo" must be correct, because to have is an auxliary verb as well as the verb "to have" as in possessions. So it's correct to say "I need to poo, or I have to poo" However my only problems is that I cannot find the perfect tense of "have to poo" there is "I had pooed" and "I would have pooed" but I can't find "I have to poo" So pretty much I need a restatement that this is the correct way of saying the verb "to poo" preferable from someone who is good at English or studied it.
http://cooljugator.com/en/poo
http://www.verbix.com/webverbix/English/poo.html

It's confusing because "I will poo", " I will have pooed" And "Will have been pooing" But none seems to express the basic "I have to poo" which is just future tense. So is it possible that "have to poo" just doesn't exist? Idk you tell me please
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Nov 29, 2017 6:29 PM
#2

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what do you mean where are you taking it? youre taking your dump to the proverbial dump
you know, 'im off to take a shit brb' or 'gotta shit brb'
*peeks over sunglasses*
Shitpost.Fetish
Nov 29, 2017 6:33 PM
#3
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HO00lywOO-D said:
what do you mean where are you taking it? youre taking your dump to the proverbial dump
you know, 'im off to take a shit brb' or 'gotta shit brb'
It's still strange, but I understand your point. Consider this, if you were in the middle of no-where, where would you take the shit?
Nov 29, 2017 6:37 PM
#4

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Oppai_ said:
HO00lywOO-D said:
what do you mean where are you taking it? youre taking your dump to the proverbial dump
you know, 'im off to take a shit brb' or 'gotta shit brb'
It's still strange, but I understand your point. Consider this, if you were in the middle of no-where, where would you take the shit?

Well id bet gravity would take it to the ground, its pretty reliable
the real real question is if you were in deep space and your spacesuit had a shitting mechanism in which case the shit would take itself... i think

good topic tbh
*peeks over sunglasses*
Shitpost.Fetish
Nov 29, 2017 6:40 PM
#5
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HO00lywOO-D said:
Oppai_ said:
It's still strange, but I understand your point. Consider this, if you were in the middle of no-where, where would you take the shit?

Well id bet gravity would take it to the ground, its pretty reliable
the real real question is if you were in deep space and your spacesuit had a shitting mechanism in which case the shit would take itself... i think

good topic tbh
You'd probably say something like "I have to take the shit out side my space suit"
Nov 29, 2017 6:41 PM
#6
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Darek said:
"To sit on the Skull Throne" is the only correct way to say it.
That sounds like something a pretentious emo would say
Nov 29, 2017 6:47 PM
#7

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Oppai_ said:
HO00lywOO-D said:

Well id bet gravity would take it to the ground, its pretty reliable
the real real question is if you were in deep space and your spacesuit had a shitting mechanism in which case the shit would take itself... i think

good topic tbh
You'd probably say something like "I have to take the shit out side my space suit"

hmmm i dunno about that, sounds like youre leaving the space suit which in space isnt a great idea
id probably say something mildly funny like 'gotta take an astronomical shit'

Oppai_ said:
Darek said:
"To sit on the Skull Throne" is the only correct way to say it.
That sounds like something a pretentious emo would say

edgy shit
*peeks over sunglasses*
Shitpost.Fetish
Nov 29, 2017 7:46 PM
#8

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Your avatar is fucking disgusting.
Nov 29, 2017 7:50 PM
#9
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"Yo fam I gotta take a shit" is one way to say it. Or unless you don't want anyone to know that you're about to take the biggest dump in the history of dumps, I would probably say "I'll be back, I have to do a Number 2".
basedNov 29, 2017 11:18 PM
Nov 29, 2017 7:52 PM
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Yachty said:
Your avatar is fucking disgusting.


But don't you like girls with big boobs?
Nov 29, 2017 8:22 PM
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Yachty said:
Your avatar is fucking disgusting.

It’s almost as bad as ichii1’s signature
why is this borderline nsfw shit allowed

worldeditor11 said:
But don't you like girls with big boobs?

there’s a difference between “sizable busts” and “unrealistically huge meatsacks attached to stick bodies”
Nov 29, 2017 8:28 PM

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nicethings said:
Yachty said:
Your avatar is fucking disgusting.

It’s almost as bad as ichii1’s signature
why is this borderline nsfw shit allowed

worldeditor11 said:
But don't you like girls with big boobs?

there’s a difference between “sizable busts” and “unrealistically huge meatsacks attached to stick bodies”

jeez mom untwist your panties it's called art
*peeks over sunglasses*
Shitpost.Fetish
Nov 30, 2017 6:03 AM

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The Phrase "(to) have to" is just another Way of saying "must".

The Phrase "(to) need to" refers to Actions that are required for other Things, e.g.: "I need Food to survive." vs. "I have to eat Food to survive". The former Example points out a Necessity that needs to be done, the later Example points out an Obligation which has to/must be done.

There are only slight Nuances between the two of them, depending on what you want to highlight:

that it's a Necessity

or that it's an Obligation.

See also:

https://englishhelponline.me/2011/03/28/the-difference-between-words-have-to-and-need-to/

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Collocations_of_do,_have,_make,_and_take

"do" sounds odd in the Context
Nov 30, 2017 7:47 AM

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Mar 2014
623
Acceptable ways to say it:

I have to/gotta take a shit
I have to poop.

Everything else is wrong.
Nov 30, 2017 7:51 AM
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just say you goin to pee pee the poo poo
gone bai bai
Nov 30, 2017 8:12 AM

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It's "your avatar gave me breast cancer"
Nico- said:
@Comic_Sans oh no y arnt ppl dieing i need more ppl dieing rly gud plot avansement jus liek tokyo ghoul if erbudy dies amirite
Conversations with people pinging/quoting me to argue about some old post I wrote years ago will not be entertained
Nov 30, 2017 9:38 AM

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"I need to" and "I have to" are interchangeable. "I have to" is really just a shorter version of "I have a need to", so "I need to" is more correct. However, a sense of urgency generally accompanies the word "need", and so if you are not trying to convey a sense of urgency, but that it is something you want to take care of sooner rather than later, then you would use "I have to" instead of "I need to".

Most Americans say "poop".
Nov 30, 2017 9:39 AM

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Who the fuck says any of these things
"No, son, you may not have your body pillow at the dinner table!"
Nov 30, 2017 10:45 AM

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Thrashinuva said:
"I need to" and "I have to" are interchangeable. "I have to" is really just a shorter version of "I have a need to", so "I need to" is more correct.
No, they aren't interchangeable, because they describe slightly different Things. Besides, you're wrong about "have to":

Have (got) to is used to refer to obligations which come from outside the speaker

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-grammar/have-got-to-and-have-to

https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/quick-grammar/modals-1


AnimeAdamOP said:
Acceptable ways to say it:

I have to/gotta take a shit
I have to poop.

Everything else is wrong.
"have to" sounds the most natural for me, too.
Nov 30, 2017 11:15 AM

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@Noboru

Am I wrong in thinking that English is not your first language? Whether or not that's true, what we're talking about in this topic is American English, not British English. Yes they can be incredibly different at times.

In American English, "got" is entirely a possessive term. "I have got" is entirely unnatural, as it is redundant. The only difference between "I have" vs. "I got" is that "got" is the same as "acquired", meaning you didn't have it at one point, and you might not have it anymore. Even in slang, "I got this" means "I have this" or "I'm going to take care of this situation" And when you combine the two terms, elongated it becomes "I have this thing that I acquired", cutting off "that I might not have anymore" since you have already stated that you have it. If you were to reason out the sentence like that, then someone could understand that you have something that you didn't previously have. However, no one actually says this, and no one will understand it this way, they'll merely understand it as "you have it".


Going further, in American English, "have" is entirely possessive. "I have feelings". "I have hair"."I have friends". It doesn't in any way dictate needs or obligations. When you combine it with "to", then that changes. "I have to do this" means "I possess a need to perform this action". Yes, the "need" is implied when you combine it with "to". Generally all American's understand it this way, however many will simply think you're exaggerating, such as "I need to hug someone". Essentially they may understand it as a strong desire, rather than a legitimate need. This is simply doubt we have towards each other, and isn't particularly reflective of the core meaning of the statement by itself.


In American English, "I have got to" is redundant and improper English. Your English teacher would likely take off points from your essay if you wrote that, if they were strict anyways.

And with that explanation, I already went over this, but the "need" is implied with "I have to", which is why it's interchangeable with "I need to".
Nov 30, 2017 11:51 AM

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@Thrashinuva: "I've got to" is just informal, oral Usage. You can only use it in Simple Present, unlike "I have to".

As you already mentioned, "I have got to" is redundant. The "got" is pretty much used just as a Filler Word, anyway.

"I got this" is just a Shortening of "I've got this". You're over-complicating Things. No one thinks literally that they have recieved/obtained/acquired a Thing when they say "I've got this". Also, "I've got this" can be also used to express that you've understood something, though it would be better to use "it".

We have been talking about "have (got) to" the whole Time, so what "have" alone means is irrelevant.

"I need to hug someone" isn't a good Example for this Thread.

Consider "I have to go to the Toilet" vs. "I need to go to the Toilet". Both Sentences are much closer to what the Thread Creator had in Mind. They are similar, but not the same Thing. The Difference is only subtle in this Case, though.
Nov 30, 2017 12:20 PM

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Noboru said:
"I've got to" is just informal
AKA 'slang'.

Noboru said:
No one thinks literally that they have recieved/obtained/acquired a Thing when they say "I've got this".
I directly addressed this. I described the actual meaning of the phrase. You've even now agreed that it's just redundant filler. "I have got this" is the same thing as "I've got this". Just because it sounds better in your head doesn't mean it's any less redundant or any less filler. It only feels more correct because "I've this" is immediately incorrect, so it feels you've fixed the sentence by adding "got", but you simply shouldn't pair the two to begin with. If you do, it's not the end of the world, and people will understand what you mean, but it hardly qualifies as a good answer to the OP's question when there exists two much better answers that are also structurally correct.

Noboru said:
what "have" alone means is irrelevant
It's extremely relevant. English words are all concepts that when combined are refined into a more encompassing overall concept. You greatly have a deeper understanding of "have to" by understanding what "have" means.

Noboru said:
"I need to hug someone" isn't a good Example for this Thread.
This was an example for you, so that I could thoroughly explain it to you.

Noboru said:
Consider "I have to go to the Toilet" vs. "I need to go to the Toilet". Both Sentences are much closer to what the Thread Creator had in Mind. They are similar, but not the same Thing. The Difference is only subtle in this Case, though.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding. I mentioned those two as the ideal answers, so I'm not sure why you're telling me that they're the best answers. I described them as identical in meaning, but slightly different in practical use. So far your argument is that they're not identical because they are different, but you haven't really elaborated on why they're different. Is it any different from what I already laid out, that their practical usage is slightly different?
Nov 30, 2017 12:56 PM

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Thrashinuva said:
"I have got this" is the same thing as "I've got this". Just because it sounds better in your head doesn't mean it's any less redundant or any less filler. It only feels more correct because "I've this" is immediately incorrect, so it feels you've fixed the sentence by adding "got", but you simply shouldn't pair the two to begin with.
You cannot shorten "have" if you use it as "have got". "I have this" means the same as "I have got this" or "I've got this".

Thrashinuva said:
It's extremely relevant. English words are all concepts that when combined are refined into a more encompassing overall concept. You greatly have a deeper understanding of "have to" by understanding what "have" means.
Alright, then feel free to explain the "deeper understanding" of "must not". Surely it has to do with "must", right?

So far your argument is that they're not identical because they are different, but you haven't really elaborated on why they're different.
They are equal, but not identical, which means, they can be applied to the same Situation, but they have a slightly different Nuance.
"I need to go to the Toilet" stresses the Necessity to go to the Toilet, while "I have to go to the Toilet" stresses the Fact that I have no other Choice but to go to the Toilet. In the latter Case, the Stress is more on "I must go to the Toilet", while this isn't as strongly for the former Case.
Nov 30, 2017 1:43 PM

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No the correct saying is "I need to use the washroom."

The whole "Take a poo" comes from "I need to take a break". Where a long time ago the only break you got was when you went to the washroom. So the whole "I need to take a poo" is basically a gutter way of saying your taking a break and going the washroom.
Nov 30, 2017 1:51 PM
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Like really, who says shit like these.
Isn't it easier to say: "I have to go to the toilet"?
Nov 30, 2017 1:57 PM

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Learn by example and you shall be enlightened

Nov 30, 2017 3:12 PM

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Thread locked for not encouraging discussion / shitposting (literally).

Casual Discussion Rules 1: Please refrain from creating threads that do not encourage discussion.
Swagernator said:
@NoLiferSoul did nothing wrong!

Ardanaz said:
@Nolifersoul did nothing wrong
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