| One of my friend made a suicidal attempt and to be totally honest, i'm a bit lost on what i should do. What would y'all do in this situation? I can't see her physically because we now live far away(in another continent), he moved years ago and it's complicated. Her mother made her deactivate all her social accounts, but i still can talk to her sometimes because her friend sometimes connect to her account. |
Zakatsuki_Sep 16, 9:44 AM
Love my aunt  |
| Seems like a tough question though I do not have irl friends beyond acquaintances. "You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make them drink" I imagine most cases of minecrafting originate with alcohol/drug dependence. In my brutal perspective no talking or therapy can change someone. The only one who can improve the state of mind is the individual themself. At best, you can try to be a good friend and ask them what is up. |
 |
| I would tell their parents. Even if the mother seems strict. I would tell their parents so that they can get a support system going and lock up any weapons in the house. |
Reply to Tawaney
I would tell their parents. Even if the mother seems strict. I would tell their parents so that they can get a support system going and lock up any weapons in the house.
| @Tawaney The parents know , her dad found her unconscious in the evening, bleeding from her wrist. She was at the hospital and is now resting at her house. She was already self-harming, her mom takes out all the blades when she's sad but she still SH by like taping her knee on the wall. |
| Love my aunt |
| If she wants to kill herself she likely has a good reason to. You should try listening to her and let her make her own decisions. I am being serious. You have to let her come to her own conclusions rather than trying to coerce her. You should support here by being there for her without trying to lecture or shame her. This does not mean you always agree with her, but it does mean treating her emotions as valid. With respect. Some people have shitty lives that are beyond their immediate control, that are too painful that death seems better. No one wants to die, but they see death as the only viable alternative. In my honest opinion getting others involved is dangerous. Involuntary commitment often makes things worst. I am assuming that she is still moored to reality. If she had a psychotic break then alerting others may be necessary. |
PeripheralVisionSep 16, 9:59 AM
"Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.” |
PeripheralVision said: ...let her make her own decisions. O__O Wait, what. ...What do you mean? |
| MY NAME IS POTATO. NICE TO MEET YOU. |
Reply to PeripheralVision
If she wants to kill herself she likely has a good reason to. You should try listening to her and let her make her own decisions. I am being serious. You have to let her come to her own conclusions rather than trying to coerce her. You should support here by being there for her without trying to lecture or shame her. This does not mean you always agree with her, but it does mean treating her emotions as valid. With respect.
Some people have shitty lives that are beyond their immediate control, that are too painful that death seems better. No one wants to die, but they see death as the only viable alternative.
In my honest opinion getting others involved is dangerous. Involuntary commitment often makes things worst. I am assuming that she is still moored to reality. If she had a psychotic break then alerting others may be necessary.
Some people have shitty lives that are beyond their immediate control, that are too painful that death seems better. No one wants to die, but they see death as the only viable alternative.
In my honest opinion getting others involved is dangerous. Involuntary commitment often makes things worst. I am assuming that she is still moored to reality. If she had a psychotic break then alerting others may be necessary.
| @PeripheralVision I've been able to talk to her for like 20 mins two days ago and i did my best to not lecture or shame her , i was telling her sweet things and everything to reassure her, but mostly trying to make her understand how much she matters to other peoples, but it's hard sometimes to be honest, i was a bit angry at her (not REALLy angry but you got me) of course i haven't told her this but it's low-key selfish to do this, even if yes i KNOW they don't think this way, and it isn't their faults, i know why, she's depressed since 3 years, but i love her so much it would be horrible to go without her to be honest, and i also know that you can't SAVE people who are THIS sad (Sh , attempt etc) but you know, i've talked to her best friend(a girl) and she's also low-key sad and think she wasn't enough to save her but even f we know she has to heal alone we still feel like not enough to help her going through this. |
| Love my aunt |
| Just remember depression is classified as a mental illness. For things like that usually they are on a 24 hour watch in the hospital. If it does not help then they get her more help at the mental ward. If they released her from the hospital they feel she has a chance to recover. If she is still in contact with you and saying those types of things then she should be admitted. It's not really up to you anymore. You gotta let it go, let her get the help she needs. Tell her she either gets the help or you would not like to stay in contact. This is for you and her at this point. |
Reply to LabMemberX
| @LabMemberX Living is not something that happens by default, life is something you have to choose, and no one can make that choice for her. Look at all the shittiness in the world and the shitty experiences a person can have. Now, I agree with the likes of Frankl that a person with a why can bear with almost any how. However, if someone wants to bear the how or to not bear it is their decision alone. Suicide is something that can be perfectly understandable, perhaps reasonable in the sense that one can argue for it. Not all attempts are made out of some psychotic breaks from reality, but in response to very real, very awful, very hurtful situations and experiences. Who am I to demand someone else to live with their suffering and to power through their struggles? How can I ask them to deal with great pain? That's such a personal choice. Yes, I think most suffering can be surmounted, but I would not say it is someone's responsibility to necessarily do so (One can argue that parents may have an obligation, but I consider it irrelevant here). I consider life to be different from a person, that someone's life should serve them, not something they have an obligation to put up with. You can't force someone to live. You can only be there for them and let them make up their own mind. Anything else is usually self-righteous and preachy, which for people who need understanding, can be intolerable. One should ask "Why is someone suicidal", not reject suicide outright. One should strive to listen and support without judgement. It is not your job to keep someone else alive. |
PeripheralVisionSep 16, 11:26 PM
"Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.” |
| I'd ask why their life is so painful that it made them try to exit. Then I'd try to figure out how this pain could be mitigated. |
No, this isn't my signature. |
| Help to send them to rehab, happened 3 times around me. If you are a continent away, the best you can do is snitch them to someone who is closer and keep listening. |
   |
| Oh, ofc I would tell about their drama on anime forum, what friend would I be if I didn't?! More seriously, I would pretend that nothing happened, because it really didn't, not between two of us at least. Even more seriously, I could use their vulnerability to manipulate them into becoming my sex slave, an obedient puppet of my bizarre sadistic fantasy, chained in the cellar for eternity, and silently crying on their failed attempt with their beautiful yet dry eyes... but I can't suggest that, because this decision would be based on their appearance, and I don't want to sound too biased. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
Reply to Tawaney
Just remember depression is classified as a mental illness. For things like that usually they are on a 24 hour watch in the hospital. If it does not help then they get her more help at the mental ward. If they released her from the hospital they feel she has a chance to recover.
If she is still in contact with you and saying those types of things then she should be admitted. It's not really up to you anymore. You gotta let it go, let her get the help she needs. Tell her she either gets the help or you would not like to stay in contact.
This is for you and her at this point.
If she is still in contact with you and saying those types of things then she should be admitted. It's not really up to you anymore. You gotta let it go, let her get the help she needs. Tell her she either gets the help or you would not like to stay in contact.
This is for you and her at this point.
| @Tawaney Tawaney said: Tell her she either gets the help or you would not like to stay in contact. giving her an ultimatum? Wouldn't that be very cruel? |
| Love my aunt |
Reply to LoveYourSmile
Oh, ofc I would tell about their drama on anime forum, what friend would I be if I didn't?!
More seriously, I would pretend that nothing happened, because it really didn't, not between two of us at least.
Even more seriously, I could use their vulnerability to manipulate them into becoming my sex slave, an obedient puppet of my bizarre sadistic fantasy, chained in the cellar for eternity, and silently crying on their failed attempt with their beautiful yet dry eyes... but I can't suggest that, because this decision would be based on their appearance, and I don't want to sound too biased.
More seriously, I would pretend that nothing happened, because it really didn't, not between two of us at least.
Even more seriously, I could use their vulnerability to manipulate them into becoming my sex slave, an obedient puppet of my bizarre sadistic fantasy, chained in the cellar for eternity, and silently crying on their failed attempt with their beautiful yet dry eyes... but I can't suggest that, because this decision would be based on their appearance, and I don't want to sound too biased.
| @LoveYourSmile bruh what happened to you Man? You used to give good advices and everything now you're just a sex obsessed and low-key a weird pred. |
| Love my aunt |
Reply to Zakatsuki_
@LoveYourSmile bruh what happened to you Man?
You used to give good advices and everything now you're just a sex obsessed and low-key a weird pred.
You used to give good advices and everything now you're just a sex obsessed and low-key a weird pred.
| @Zakatsuki_ I gave you exactly what your thread deserves, in my opinion. Ignore button is down there, just in case. Funny enough, I gave you a good advice in the second paragraph. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
Reply to LoveYourSmile
@Zakatsuki_ I gave you exactly what your thread deserves, in my opinion. Ignore button is down there, just in case.
Funny enough, I gave you a good advice in the second paragraph.
Funny enough, I gave you a good advice in the second paragraph.
| @LoveYourSmile yeah i know man but i'm not talking only about this thread, i used to esteem you highly to be honest but idk what happened to you, you stopped being the unc you were. |
| Love my aunt |
Reply to Zakatsuki_
@Tawaney
giving her an ultimatum?
Wouldn't that be very cruel?
Tawaney said:
Tell her she either gets the help or you would not like to stay in contact.
Tell her she either gets the help or you would not like to stay in contact.
giving her an ultimatum?
Wouldn't that be very cruel?
| @Zakatsuki_ What is more cruel? Letting her go on like that? Or setting up boundaries in a relationship for healthy communication. Telling someone that you want to commit suicide every day is detrimental to your health as well. It's also used by people as a manipulation tactic. Using suicide as a crutch is not okay. If you set boundaries and she still doesn't want to get help for herself then there is nothing that you can do anymore. Remember this is a mental illness. This is exactly like having a schizophrenic that is dangerous to themselves and others but not setting down boundaries, which will give them no initiative to get help. If you mean anything at all to them, then they would keep distance until they get better. I can't imagine the stress and toll it is having on you. |
| I would want to talk them out of it, would check if there is something I could do or suggest to them to make them feel better, but ultimately, I myself am also important. In your case though, the people who have more success are the ones that are physically near her so unless she's touch-averse, having someone hug her might have a positive effect. Else, just being nearby and listening could help ease her emotional pain. Though you can also do it virtually, preferably over video chat. Anyway, I hope the best for you and don't forget, you're not the only one who wants her alive, so don't take more emotional burden on you than you can handle |
| Ain't y'all like 18? Her mom can't do that. When I feel lost and depressed I think about how my heroes handle the situations. I strive to be like them. Killing myself no longer an option |
AmityBlight said: Ain't y'all like 18? Her mom can't do that. When I feel lost and depressed I think about how my heroes handle the situations. I strive to be like them. Killing myself no longer an option I'm 18 myself but she's one year younger than me so she's 17 for now |
| Love my aunt |
Tawaney said: @Zakatsuki_ What is more cruel? Letting her go on like that? Or setting up boundaries in a relationship for healthy communication. Telling someone that you want to commit suicide every day is detrimental to your health as well. It's also used by people as a manipulation tactic. Using suicide as a crutch is not okay. If you set boundaries and she still doesn't want to get help for herself then there is nothing that you can do anymore. Remember this is a mental illness. This is exactly like having a schizophrenic that is dangerous to themselves and others but not setting down boundaries, which will give them no initiative to get help. If you mean anything at all to them, then they would keep distance until they get better. I can't imagine the stress and toll it is having on you. yeah it's very stressful to be honest but she's an amazing person so maybe she's worth it to be honest , but you know she isn't online much, I can only talk to her tough one of her friend. |
| Love my aunt |
Reply to Zakatsuki_
AmityBlight said:
Ain't y'all like 18? Her mom can't do that.
When I feel lost and depressed I think about how my heroes handle the situations.
I strive to be like them. Killing myself no longer an option
Ain't y'all like 18? Her mom can't do that.
When I feel lost and depressed I think about how my heroes handle the situations.
I strive to be like them. Killing myself no longer an option
I'm 18 myself but she's one year younger than me so she's 17 for now
| @Zakatsuki_ Still too damn old for parents to be doing that. |
Reply to AmityBlight
@Zakatsuki_ Still too damn old for parents to be doing that.
| @AmityBlight her mom is very strict but i guess it's alright she only loves her child but one time i thought it was low-key my fault because one week ago, her mom forced her to bock me everywhere, she was very sad and relapse into Self-harming because of this(she unblocked me later) but that was the breaking point for her, to block me, she hasn't slept the whole night and everything. |
| Love my aunt |
| In my opinion you can't really block someone completely. There is discord, whatsapp, and so on. On the phone shouldn't really stop anything. You could also send emails. If her parents are so strict to the point she only has a phone and that is her only communication right now it would be better to just wait until she is 18. |
| I think at that point the only thing you really could do is try to be for them and play the role of being as supportive as you can during their harder moments. You can't watch everybody 24/7, so you can only try and be there for them as much as you can. There are hotlines of course that can help in this category. Counseling and whatnot. |
 |
| I tried to commit suicide some years ago and I can tell you that the experience for anyone is very different, but for most people after it they just want someone to talk with, you want someone to reach out to you, it can be from anyone to someone specific, so the best way imo you can help her is to talk with her, about anything, don't push her to talk about what happened if she doesn't want, and if she does, don't try to lecture her or don't act like her therapist I can tell you that sometimes that is just very tiring to hear, but this is from my own perspective my motives and actions are very surely totally different from hers and don't take this as a step-by-step thing, everyone experiences it very differently I wish you both luck and happy things |
 "I can write anything here no one is gonna read it" - Wendy - |
| I'm afraid I don't know. I'd try to be there for them, if they wanted it. Thing is I made many attempts in the past and each time there was nothing but emptiness and shame afterwards. I wished it succeeded, but I was also glad it didn't. I just felt shame and wanted nobody to look at me. I don't think suicide is about wanting to kill yourself, it's about wanting the pain to stop. There's not much you can tell someone who spends every day simply enduring a hellish feeling that never goes away. But loneliness when you feel like that only exacerbates it. If they will allow you, please try to stay by their side as much as possible. Maybe try help to introduce something new into their life for them to love. It can be anything, really. The only thing I really want is something to love so much that I want to dedicate all my time to it. That's pretty hard to find on your own or without any outlets. |
| I mean I had a friend who did, but he disappeared for years afterwards so I couldn't really do much. Now when he did come back into mine and our friends life, because of our dynamic after we all hugged, we told him we'd kill him if he ever tried that again. I DEFINITELY would not recommend that to most people though. Gotta know the person real good and have a tight and dark friendship. |
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