Uma Musume: Pretty Derby Season 2

An accomplished veteran director of the anime industry said in an interview a few years ago, "I really don't like the animes these days and what the anime industry has become." if you're even somewhat familiar with Japanese mannerisms, you'll know the weight behind this, you don't ever publicly talk shit about other anime projects, even if they are just objectively horrible, you appear amicable and supportive no matter what, so for a veteran to say that out loud in an interview, well he must've felt very strongly about it.

...and right now I find that sentiment highly relatable. Due to this franchise's recent overwhelming popularity ... thanks to its huge success of a gacha game (which is in turn thanks to its ridiculously predatory p2w pvp mode even by gacha game standards but this ain't a game review site so I'll stop now), I finally went and watched the anime.

HOW, is something THIS mediocre, or even below mediocre, this FEVERISHLY praised??

My twitter TL, mostly the jp side, is just flooded with uma musume fanboyism these days, and, after seeing the thousandth "yoooo just go watch the anime you'll bawl your eyes out", I did. It's not that I didn't bawl my eyes out during the second season ending, I basically laughed. I mean, that scene with every single human in Japan with tears streaming down their face, *what* was that lmfao, how do you still stay serious after a presentation so awkward (^-^;

I'm just surprised they didn't zoom in on a dog watching the race and then the dog started crying

this isn't season 2 but the issue carries on in season 2. I also laughed during Special Week and Taiki Shuttle's mock race. You know, when Special Week chan learned Slipstream. Oh. So! Wind resistance does exist in this universe. And you acknowledge it.........so what's with all the hats, and tuxedos, and CAPES. I am definitely not a person who's ever fuzzy about "perfect worldbuilding", and at this point my suspension of belief can be turned up to an unhealthily high level but, uma musume is so record-breakingly lazy about it I just couldn't help but keep noticing. Toresen's lectures really deadass consist of telling them what Junior, Classic and Senior is, that's like if us humans had to take a lecture to learn that middle school comes after elementary school. Rudolph and Marzinsky and other Seniors, what are they even doing all day, yes in reality horses' racing shelf lives are basically really short, like around 3 years, but they still show them training all day every day and then not participating in any races. And these immortals just, didn't age a single second and are still in school between meeting Teio when she was little and welcoming Teio to Toresen and they're still in school eh. Everything is just so......awkward.


and this show doesn't really get to use the "oh it's just a cute girl doing cute things show, don't take it so seriously" because, well, the show does take it self *very* seriously. uma musume has way too many dramas and melodramas to qualify for CGDCT.

here's an excuse they do get to use though. "We're just following the actual history". Right. But from a storytelling point of view, it's horrible isn't it? it would've been tacky as heck for any writer to use the same exact conflict device twice in a row, uma musume used the "injury" device, like what, 5 times? 6 times? in a row back to back? but okay, they are just following the actual history, forget the genderbending and completely ignored horse heritage (Special Week not related to Marzensky, Tokai Teio not related to Rudolph), but sure, use that "actual history" shield only when it's convenient eh.


That's another thing isn't it. Another marketing phrase I've been hearing so much, "see...this is why uma musume is so...wonderful, I mean it's just so...~respectful~, to the source material". Uh, yeah, they genderbent the horses for waifu points, stomped all over the actual horses' heritage because they can't be bothered to come up with a world view that would accommodate their actual parentage.


they're definitely doing a third season with this popularity, and it'll likely be Kitasan and Dia. Can't wait to watch the exact same format of half season of "my injury prevented me from racing my rival...I'm so sad" and "I lost, but can't give up! must train hard to race my rival!" and can't wait to watch this exact same thing get praised into high heavens and breaking BD sales record and be crowned as an all time hall of fame anime right next to Fullmetal Alchemist