I don't mean to sound like a bitch but I'm pretty much in control of a lot of parts of my household. Of course I don't handle finances and stuff, but I'm more in control than my mom is...complicated circumstance but yeah. No I truly belong there, my best friend and I have a weird friendship that can't really be explained. We tell each other everything, and I've helped her through a lot and she's done the same for me. She once told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her and without me she probably would have never had any good friends so gg. I like where I'm at, I've found a good place to be and great people to be around. I can't have conversations about my emotions unless I trust someone because tbh I have some fucked up thoughts that sometimes scare people away (me and my best friend can talk about all of that stuff). Pretty much all of my conversations with her are meaningful because we both care about what the other has to say, she'll tell me stories that are meaningless to everyone else but to me they're awesome and mean something. I give people a fair chance, they usually blow it by being a complete asshole later on. I have the right to insult whatever I want, anyone who doesn't like it can speak out against it but that won't change the fact that I find the language ugly. I don't care if it's ignorant and arrogant, it doesn't change anything for me. I've grown to despise it. Did humans really create language or is it something we've always known and it's just changed over time? It's hard to say we created something that was instinctively there. Sign language is so amazing, deaf people get so happy when a hearing person signs to them. Most of the people at my school are assholes, so sorry if it seems that I've generalized everyone in the world to be like that but school just has a big impact on my perception of things. I don't think everyone in the world is an asshole, I think humanity is basically good, it's just hard to keep a positive outlook when I have to stay in the cesspool of a school for 8 hours a day. (I'm 16, it's not much of a difference, but a year is a long time I've learned). It's hard to ask deeper questions when I have to answer your initial question; answering a question with a question seems very odd to me.
I'm aware of that already, I never feel like I don't belong at home though. I have a place I belong, there are just situations that I'm not very comfortable; like in my Spanish class I have no friends and I just don't belong with any of the people in there. Meaningful conversations only go well with people I trust since if I don't trust someone I can't tell them anything too personal. I doubt those would go well. Dude don't worry about it. I have really great friends who I can talk to about these things, I just don't like meaningless small-talk and casual conversations with random classmates that have 0 interest in being my friend which the feeling is often mutual. My best friend is like that, we talk about stuff I would never tell anyone else and stuff she would never tell anyone else. Yeah I don't stress about not knowing Spanish, tbh i think it's an ugly language and after 3 years I've grown to hate it. American Sign Language is fun as hell though, and the grammar structure is very easy to understand. IT'S VERY HARD TO FIND THEM WHEN THERE'S A LITERAL SEA OF ASSHOLES! Well I have ignored you for weeks at a time, nothing specific I can think of, just sometimes I'd get annoyed with responding and the amount of simple questions you asked would bother me so I just wouldn't reply.
It doesn't make feel ashamed or embarrassed, just that I don't belong in certain crowds. Regular conversation is nice but when that's all that I ever get I just end up feeling like those people aren't even my friends. I don't just need mature conversations, I need people who are able to mess around when they can but are serious when they need to be; it's just hard to find that. I guess it is. Because we need 2 years of foreign language to graduate, and I took the 3rd year because I needed another class and didn't like any of the other elective courses. I love sign language, but have grown to hate Spanish. Good. BECAUSE EVERYONE IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE. Guess so :o I have got pissed of at you many of times, just online I can leave the conversation for 2 or 3 days until I'm not pissed anymore.
Just being a lot smarter than everyone makes me feel different, and I don't mean like "Oh I'm smarter fuck off" just a lot of people are so ignorant that I can't talk to them because different maturity levels and such. Well taking advantage of people is also not something I would want to do. Ah man I suck at Spanish, I've been taking it for 3 years and still can't speak it well enough to hold a conversation. What's messed up is I've only taken one year of american sign language and I can hold multiple conversations for an extended amount of time. Ah, please include the strange internet friend part. BUT MOST DO! Because I am, I get pissed off very easily and give up on people after short periods of time.
It's not an explainable feeling. That basically extorting them. Ah. Oh, see you're so good at sarcasm that I can't even detect it anymore! Please do tell what you're going to add/take away/rearrange. But then they end up failing and being more horrible tan most because they're bitter about being horrible. I know I'm a horrible person as well, however I act like I'm not because I feel bad for being horrible.
There is no advantage to the stupidity of people besides making me feel like an outcast, because I feel bad for extorting them. Some more of what? Not sure if sarcasm or genuine insult. Well tell your mom that your strange enigma of a friend on the internet said "Thanks Billy raising you properly." okay? Pretty much everyone is horrible, and if everyone is horrible then is anyone truly horrible?
Life doesn't give me much, I have to work for a lot of things. Indeed it is. Well I'm a sarcastic asshole 90% of the time so I feel it, and it's good that you're nice just for the hell of it. Well yeah, there can be plenty of wrong things said about like every person on the planet.
As sad as it is, you're right about that. So you're not one of those people, you're only 50% one of those people. How nice of you, don't expect me to feel indebted. Nobody wants to hurt the person they love unless there is something mentally wrong with them.
Hahaha small chance of that. You're stubborn but not ignorant. Thanks because I sure as hell do not. A lot of people have that fear, it's very realistic. That's sweet, but if she really does love you then she'll forgive you.