Kimi ni Aisarete Itakatta

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It's ok, if you like the concept you'll probably like it. It's a story of bullying, isolation, and other similar themes that all could be contained in the phrase "bad highschool experience". It is as subjective as it can be, the art depicting those feelings at their most maximalist, their inner world will be spread over the page evey other page. To me, it feels way to over the top; i understand that's the intention, to represent those situations and thoughts as how they felt at the time, not to be subtle or subdued for the sake of making a more realistic story. I think ... it sometimes comes off as goofy, they're so dramatic all the time, everything is dialed up to 100 all the time, even when they're just doing nothing and being normal, it is framed as the most important normal moment of all time. If you know what you're getting into, you're gonna like it 👍

Story:

The story in this one is maybe best compared to something like Oyasumi Punpun or Welcome to the NHK: Slice of Life-ish with a lot of depression.

Conflict is rooted in character (and their realistic cirumstances) and doesn't feel forced. There is always something happening (read as constant conflict) which entertained me from start to finish. (I binged all 30 chapters currently translated.)

The content of the story basically revolves around depression and includes
-high school clique bullshit /putting up masks/ making authentic connections
-low self worth, comparison
-sex and love
... -trauma and bullying
So typical high school stuff (minus the trauma).

As you can see this sort of heavy story might not be for everyone, especially if you consider that there is a rape scene. The manga has an overall negative outlook on life.

If you don't mind it though then this is one of best manga I've read dealing with these themes. That is because of the amount of depth and detail put into the realization of them. You can really picture in your head how the daily life of our protagonist looks like, you can really feel her dread and depression.

Still, the overall tone of the manga isn't that heavy. It has a lot of (funny) exaggaration and a lot of cute stuff.



Art:

I don't know much about art. It looks good to me. Sometimes we get a shoujo-ish art style contrasted with darker stuff which makes for a really cool aesthetic. The sexy scenes look sexy and the manga looks really cute if it wants to, too. Backgrounds don't look outstanding, but it's good.



Characters:

I really love how much depth and detail there is to the depiction of our main character and her depression. As someone who struggled with depression in high school trying to fit in, this is exactly what it feels like. We really get to experience her inner life in detail and we really get to experience what her daily life looks like (school, family, friends, hobbies).

As this manga is mostly about the depression of our main character (depression makes your thoughts mostly centered around yourself) she is the most fleshed out character. The other characters do lack depth compared to her but you can always understand why they act in the way they do and they do act consistent with their personalities and circumstances.

This isn't one of those super realistic manga though. Every character is a bit cartoonish and there are a lot of exaggerated actions and facial expressions (disturbed and cute).



Enjoyment:

If you've made it this far, you can probably tell that I really really like this manga. It resonates well with my personal experiences of depression, looks good and is just overall well excecuted. It also helps that I like these sort of slower paced stories about the lives of people.

When I didn't find the disturbing content relatable or emotionally engaging, then at least I was entertained by it because of its freshness compared to the usual feel-good or action manga that I read. Sometimes the stuff happening is also just fun because of its exaggarated ridiculousness.

There are cute and sexy scenes which I have nothing against and things do get better for our protagonist. She does make steps to improve her life which is nice to see.

This is a manga I found increasingly hard to write a review for the more I thought about it. The initial few chapters and overall quality of the story is indeed above average, this manga includes a scene that has completely soured my enjoyment of the series and all potential readers should be warned before reading this: The protagonist hires a group of men to rape her bully. More of that will be discussed later in the review.

Kanae has it rough. The harsh treatment she receives from her "friends" reminds her of her severe bullying history and Kanae's mother talks down to her like garbage ... for not being an exemplary student. Even her brother hates her because he feels that his mom forces him to study extensively to make up for Kanae's mediocrity.

The only light of hope in her life comes in the form of Hiroshi, a cute baseball player she develops a crush on after meeting him at a mixer. This crush on him turns into a domino effect of drama and degradation

This manga is in many ways a spiritual successor to Metamorphasis by ShindoL. Both featured troubled socially awkward girls plagued by abuse and bullying. The problem is that Kanae becomes less sympathetic as the story progresses. The first chapter already establishes her being a teen prostitute and get angry at Hiroshi when he becomes concerned for her. It's implied she chose this lifestyle on her own rather than getting roped into the profession like Saki from Metamorphasis.

The manga keeps showing vignettes of how bad Kanae's life is, but readers are never given the full details. We aren't shown enough of her backstory to understand why she is the way she is. We know that her current friends are fake as hell and her family hates her, but it feels like more bark than bite.

Seeing the mental breakdowns of the characters as they confront their own trauma is certainly a highlight. Even Ichika, the previously mentioned bully, gets her sympathy points. Speaking of which, let's talk about her and the downfall of the manga.

Ichika got into a messy love triangle with Kanae because she also had a crush on Hiroshi. Ichika bullied Kanae into backing off from Hiroshi and that infuriated Kanae. She used her connections to get a group of men to abduct and rape Ichika while Kanae watched the whole thing with sadistic joy. That scene was godawful. Ichika may have been a horrible person, but nobody deserves to be raped. Kanae becomes much more morally repulsive than her own bully. Because of that one scene, I can't give this manga a high review.