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Sep 26, 2013 7:37 PM
#1
Got a manga idea? Got a character drawing? Fanfict idea? Post it HERE! Get tips, and receive comments on your cool idea's. Rules of Criticism ·No put downs ·No slander ·If the Original Poster disagrees, accept it. |
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Sep 27, 2013 5:09 PM
#2
So this is my manga idea for my story "The Magicians Book" In this I'll explain everything that I thought of and explain certain points clearly in spoiler tags, I'll add some images as i go on. Anyway, let's go. The story goes around the life of our protagonists Toshiro Hikari. His parent's were world class magicians, known around the world. During one of their tricks they suddenly disappeared leaving Toshiro alone to be an orphan. So as he grows, he studies "magic" tricks living with his cousin and his family.Throughout school he's seen as a complete outcast, teased for his interest in magic. Though he can't do much, his cousin loos out for him since he's a senior, even saving Toshiro in a fight between bullies. Toshiro upset from being weak and being tease decides to go visit his parents grave where he sees another person there who tells him , he will be a great magician one day, and gives him hope. Toshiro with hope in his heart decides to go visit his old home to see if he can find out what happened to his parents and finds a book, but the things written in the book aren't your everyday magic tricks.. these well spells and Toshiro was a son of two Mages. After finding the book, he soon practises in magic which soon attracts the attention of the M.E.U (Magical Enforcement Units) who take Toshiro to the land of magic, to the magic world to the world's biggest school of magic Mahou Tsukai Academy. Before he goes he tells his cousin farewll, and to his surprise Kona is a son of a Forbidden Scroll Mage and says he'll meet him soon. Toshiro is soon evaluated though he seems to be a weak mage he is the son of the world's strongest mages and the holder of the 2nd Forbiden Scroll Forbiden Scrolls Forbiden Scrolls are only possessed by a select few group of mages , these mages hold the potential to have the power to rule over the magical world. And lead the call of battles. But to help determine power, they must meet requirements of the Mage Council which was decided in fights to the death but soon was the responsibility of those mages children Toshiro is put into a class of regular mages until finalization has been determined to see if he's qualified to join the class of Forbidden Scroll Mages,there he'll meet friends, kids like him who were treated different for loving magic which gives him another reason to fight, after a while he's put in the class of Forbidden Scroll Mages. Ounce a student, he's introduce to the other class of Forbiden Scroll Mages are gathered to train to be the best mages, only the best will rule. Some are there for power, some are there to represent their families, some have no choice. And they're all more powerfully than Toshiro. As the new kid it's not an easy ride especially the kid without a assistant. Due to joining late Toshiro is stuck with Azami Miyazaki , due to her personality, no one chose her predicting she wasn't ready for this. But Azami was an excellent fighter and swordsman and like other assistants possessed a special trait, Toshiro the eager and determined mage with the shy but deadly swordsman. Their journey begins After some training and relaxing, Toshiro and Azami realize their not much different, both treated differently for bring themselves, both wanting to become stronger. To that Toshiro promises Azami they'll become stronger together. And they'll be the strongest ever. The school is now getting ready for the Winter Exams a competition to see who the sgrongest, cleverest, and best mages in the entire school are. During these exams there will be one on one battles between mages, and two v two battles between forbidden scroll mages, if they can win. Just because a mage isn't apart of the Forbidden Scroll doesn't make them weak. Before the battles begin Kona approaches Toshiro telling him about his parents and their past and why he didn't tell him about magic and the dangers but Toshiro understands.. Exam Rules ·A match will not end if a Mage's assistant is K.O'ed only the mage ·Fights can be Mage V Assistant and as always Mage V Mage and Assistant V Assistant ·Fights last 5mins total and are judge by accumulated score if limit is met. (Though these are considered rare) ·Ties are resulted in a sudden death (Final Blow) …… That's enough anymore would just be spoiler.. So you get the story now correct? If need I'll provide a detailed description of character personalities and whatnot. |
CallMeKurisuchanSep 27, 2013 6:31 PM
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Sep 27, 2013 5:17 PM
#3
You should totally do that. I've done story ideas ect. ect. I'd love to help. I assuming the one who tells him those words at the grave is important in the future. |
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Sep 27, 2013 5:20 PM
#4
Diran-kun said: You should totally do that. I've done story ideas ect. ect. I'd love to help. I assuming the one who tells him those words at the grave is important in the future. Yes, he really is. :0 |
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu DE-F%#@ING-SU ~ yo! I make bad videos, if you have nothing better to do then here: My Channel Because Shameless Promotion and Self-Shaming It Will Make It Look Less Shameless |
Sep 28, 2013 3:56 AM
#5
Ok so I edited the plot :0 |
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu DE-F%#@ING-SU ~ yo! I make bad videos, if you have nothing better to do then here: My Channel Because Shameless Promotion and Self-Shaming It Will Make It Look Less Shameless |
Sep 28, 2013 7:12 AM
#6
err well I already posted this once, but I just scribbled this down on a whim in a thread about ideas for anime: I wanna make a shoujo-ai survival game anime in space. The details are work in progress but here's a rough outline of what I could make up on the spot: Twenty girls of various backgrounds and ages find themselves trapped on a space station. It's secluded from the rest of galactic civilization and there's been a power failure that has made several areas of the station either inaccessible or malfunctioning, including the ability to contact the outside. There is only one small ship docked at the docking bay, and it only has enough room and oxygen for two people to have a chance to make it back to civilization. In order to open the hatch to the ship, a person needs to have their palms scanned by a hand scanner in the docking bay. The problem is there are two of these, one on each side of the room, and both must be used at the same time by two different people. These hand scanners are quite advanced, so if a dead person's hand is put on it, it will not be registered as a live human being. This makes it effectively impossible for anyone to access the ship alone. The girls have never met each other before the incident takes place, and are thus very wary of each other. There are also weapons located in the armory of the facility that is still accessible. However there is not an unlimited supply of food and water, and no supply ships are arriving any time soon. The girls will thus have to partner up as escaping alone is impossible, but they're not too keen on being left behind for someone else's sake either. As time passes, hunger, thirst and mental fatigue will gradually worsen and relationships will falter. Hostilities will occur. Lives will be shed. However it is not as easy as to kill everyone else and escape, as you still need at least one other live person on your side in order to access the ship because of the hand scanners. Therefore it is also important to try to build a solid relationship with at least one other girl. Teams will be formed. Basically it'd be something of a mixture between Ever17 and Mirai Nikki with a dash of shoujo-ai thrown into it. Which team will manage to overcome their consciousnesses by sacrificing their friends in order to have a shot at life once more? How will they support each other both physically and mentally to keep themselves from faltering? Find out on Zero Hour. Also have some relevant facts about the setting, character details and stuffs on my comp but it's all unfinished and just done spontaneously. |
Sep 28, 2013 7:21 AM
#7
A young boy, Hiroshi Sajagami, woke up in bed with both of his legs severed. He had a wire connecting his pelvis to the roof. The one responsible is a female organism taking the form of a human. Her name is Mary Myo. Hiroshi can't move. He will forever remain in his room with Mary. I win all the awards. |
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Sep 28, 2013 7:28 AM
#8
Diran-kun said: A young boy, Hiroshi Sajagami, woke up in bed with both of his legs severed. He had a wire connecting his pelvis to the roof. The one responsible is a female organism taking the form of a human. Her name is Mary Myo. Hiroshi can't move. He will forever remain in his room with Mary. I win all the awards. That actually sounds good. |
Sep 28, 2013 7:36 AM
#9
_Chimo said: Diran-kun said: A young boy, Hiroshi Sajagami, woke up in bed with both of his legs severed. He had a wire connecting his pelvis to the roof. The one responsible is a female organism taking the form of a human. Her name is Mary Myo. Hiroshi can't move. He will forever remain in his room with Mary. I win all the awards. That actually sounds good. Mary wouldn't be a Loli, though. It wouldn't suit her. Hiroshi is probably between the age of 7-15. Also, can you access the HB forums? I can't get through at all. |
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Sep 28, 2013 7:40 AM
#10
Diran-kun said: _Chimo said: Diran-kun said: A young boy, Hiroshi Sajagami, woke up in bed with both of his legs severed. He had a wire connecting his pelvis to the roof. The one responsible is a female organism taking the form of a human. Her name is Mary Myo. Hiroshi can't move. He will forever remain in his room with Mary. I win all the awards. That actually sounds good. Mary wouldn't be a Loli, though. It wouldn't suit her. Hiroshi is probably between the age of 7-15. Also, can you access the HB forums? I can't get through at all. You should actually write this, it'd be interesting to read. Yeah, they offline right now. Been off and on for the past few days, the amount of people on the forum has quadrupled since the new forum was released. (Server overload) |
Sep 28, 2013 7:45 AM
#11
_Chimo said: Diran-kun said: _Chimo said: Diran-kun said: A young boy, Hiroshi Sajagami, woke up in bed with both of his legs severed. He had a wire connecting his pelvis to the roof. The one responsible is a female organism taking the form of a human. Her name is Mary Myo. Hiroshi can't move. He will forever remain in his room with Mary. I win all the awards. That actually sounds good. Mary wouldn't be a Loli, though. It wouldn't suit her. Hiroshi is probably between the age of 7-15. Also, can you access the HB forums? I can't get through at all. You should actually write this, it'd be interesting to read. Yeah, they offline right now. Been off and on for the past few days, the amount of people on the forum has quadrupled since the new forum was released. (Server overload) protip: http://www.isitdownrightnow.com/ how to check if it's just you or if a site is actually down |
Sep 28, 2013 7:46 AM
#12
New HB Forum Layout > MAL's current layout Endless scrolling wins it. Still don't like their list layout, though. I was having a full Imouto/Loli discussion as well before it went down. I might actually write it, but I have next to no ideas. It would probably be a parody with no actual meaning to anything. |
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Sep 28, 2013 7:51 AM
#13
HaXXspetten said: _Chimo said: Diran-kun said: _Chimo said: Diran-kun said: A young boy, Hiroshi Sajagami, woke up in bed with both of his legs severed. He had a wire connecting his pelvis to the roof. The one responsible is a female organism taking the form of a human. Her name is Mary Myo. Hiroshi can't move. He will forever remain in his room with Mary. I win all the awards. That actually sounds good. Mary wouldn't be a Loli, though. It wouldn't suit her. Hiroshi is probably between the age of 7-15. Also, can you access the HB forums? I can't get through at all. You should actually write this, it'd be interesting to read. Yeah, they offline right now. Been off and on for the past few days, the amount of people on the forum has quadrupled since the new forum was released. (Server overload) protip: http://www.isitdownrightnow.com/ how to check if it's just you or if a site is actually down I know that. Diran-kun said: New HB Forum Layout > MAL's current layout Endless scrolling wins it. Still don't like their list layout, though. I was having a full Imouto/Loli discussion as well before it went down. I might actually write it, but I have next to no ideas. It would probably be a parody with no actual meaning to anything. Don't forget the IM threads, posts come up without having to refresh. Their lists are getting revamped, along with a Manga and VN list. Also, if you do write it, don't make it silly; it would ruin everything. Can't have that tension between chapters. |
Sep 28, 2013 7:54 AM
#14
Hopefully the lists are good. I'll probably write a prologue later. Yeah, IM is awesome. It would be good if you could help improve it if I post it later. |
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Sep 28, 2013 7:58 AM
#15
Diran-kun said: Hopefully the lists are good. I'll probably write a prologue later. Yeah, IM is awesome. It would be good if you could help improve it if I post it later. They have a preview, which I don't have a link to... I'll have to ask David for it on Skype. I don't know much when it comes to writing, the only novel I've re-read multiple times is the Hunger Games series... But, sure. I could try to pitch in ideas. |
Sep 28, 2013 8:01 AM
#16
Sure, thanks. Well, out of all my subjects, English is the only one I'm not in the bottom set for. I'll take a shot at it later, but I suck at novels. |
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Sep 28, 2013 8:02 AM
#17
Diran-kun said: Sure, thanks. Well, out of all my subjects, English is the only one I'm not in the bottom set for. I'll take a shot at it later, but I suck at novels. Do you have a Skype? It would be easier to talk that way. |
Sep 28, 2013 8:05 AM
#18
_Chimo said: Yeah. I'll just sign in.Diran-kun said: Sure, thanks. Well, out of all my subjects, English is the only one I'm not in the bottom set for. I'll take a shot at it later, but I suck at novels. Do you have a Skype? It would be easier to talk that way. I don't think this can be serious and good at once. My username is TWDaryl. |
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Sep 28, 2013 8:30 AM
#19
HaXXspetten said: err well I already posted this once, but I just scribbled this down on a whim in a thread about ideas for anime: I wanna make a shoujo-ai survival game anime in space. The details are work in progress but here's a rough outline of what I could make up on the spot: Twenty girls of various backgrounds and ages find themselves trapped on a space station. It's secluded from the rest of galactic civilization and there's been a power failure that has made several areas of the station either inaccessible or malfunctioning, including the ability to contact the outside. There is only one small ship docked at the docking bay, and it only has enough room and oxygen for two people to have a chance to make it back to civilization. In order to open the hatch to the ship, a person needs to have their palms scanned by a hand scanner in the docking bay. The problem is there are two of these, one on each side of the room, and both must be used at the same time by two different people. These hand scanners are quite advanced, so if a dead person's hand is put on it, it will not be registered as a live human being. This makes it effectively impossible for anyone to access the ship alone. The girls have never met each other before the incident takes place, and are thus very wary of each other. There are also weapons located in the armory of the facility that is still accessible. However there is not an unlimited supply of food and water, and no supply ships are arriving any time soon. The girls will thus have to partner up as escaping alone is impossible, but they're not too keen on being left behind for someone else's sake either. As time passes, hunger, thirst and mental fatigue will gradually worsen and relationships will falter. Hostilities will occur. Lives will be shed. However it is not as easy as to kill everyone else and escape, as you still need at least one other live person on your side in order to access the ship because of the hand scanners. Therefore it is also important to try to build a solid relationship with at least one other girl. Teams will be formed. Basically it'd be something of a mixture between Ever17 and Mirai Nikki with a dash of shoujo-ai thrown into it. Which team will manage to overcome their consciousnesses by sacrificing their friends in order to have a shot at life once more? How will they support each other both physically and mentally to keep themselves from faltering? Find out on Zero Hour. Also have some relevant facts about the setting, character details and stuffs on my comp but it's all unfinished and just done spontaneously. I like it.. :0 So I'm curious will this has some Yuri? :0 Do you need an illustrator? Or can you draw? |
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu DE-F%#@ING-SU ~ yo! I make bad videos, if you have nothing better to do then here: My Channel Because Shameless Promotion and Self-Shaming It Will Make It Look Less Shameless |
Sep 28, 2013 8:45 AM
#20
CallMeKurisuchan said: HaXXspetten said: err well I already posted this once, but I just scribbled this down on a whim in a thread about ideas for anime: I wanna make a shoujo-ai survival game anime in space. The details are work in progress but here's a rough outline of what I could make up on the spot: Twenty girls of various backgrounds and ages find themselves trapped on a space station. It's secluded from the rest of galactic civilization and there's been a power failure that has made several areas of the station either inaccessible or malfunctioning, including the ability to contact the outside. There is only one small ship docked at the docking bay, and it only has enough room and oxygen for two people to have a chance to make it back to civilization. In order to open the hatch to the ship, a person needs to have their palms scanned by a hand scanner in the docking bay. The problem is there are two of these, one on each side of the room, and both must be used at the same time by two different people. These hand scanners are quite advanced, so if a dead person's hand is put on it, it will not be registered as a live human being. This makes it effectively impossible for anyone to access the ship alone. The girls have never met each other before the incident takes place, and are thus very wary of each other. There are also weapons located in the armory of the facility that is still accessible. However there is not an unlimited supply of food and water, and no supply ships are arriving any time soon. The girls will thus have to partner up as escaping alone is impossible, but they're not too keen on being left behind for someone else's sake either. As time passes, hunger, thirst and mental fatigue will gradually worsen and relationships will falter. Hostilities will occur. Lives will be shed. However it is not as easy as to kill everyone else and escape, as you still need at least one other live person on your side in order to access the ship because of the hand scanners. Therefore it is also important to try to build a solid relationship with at least one other girl. Teams will be formed. Basically it'd be something of a mixture between Ever17 and Mirai Nikki with a dash of shoujo-ai thrown into it. Which team will manage to overcome their consciousnesses by sacrificing their friends in order to have a shot at life once more? How will they support each other both physically and mentally to keep themselves from faltering? Find out on Zero Hour. Also have some relevant facts about the setting, character details and stuffs on my comp but it's all unfinished and just done spontaneously. I like it.. :0 So I'm curious will this has some Yuri? :0 Do you need an illustrator? Or can you draw? Yuri is good. Also, you can draw. :o |
Sep 28, 2013 9:01 AM
#21
_Chimo said: CallMeKurisuchan said: HaXXspetten said: err well I already posted this once, but I just scribbled this down on a whim in a thread about ideas for anime: I wanna make a shoujo-ai survival game anime in space. The details are work in progress but here's a rough outline of what I could make up on the spot: Twenty girls of various backgrounds and ages find themselves trapped on a space station. It's secluded from the rest of galactic civilization and there's been a power failure that has made several areas of the station either inaccessible or malfunctioning, including the ability to contact the outside. There is only one small ship docked at the docking bay, and it only has enough room and oxygen for two people to have a chance to make it back to civilization. In order to open the hatch to the ship, a person needs to have their palms scanned by a hand scanner in the docking bay. The problem is there are two of these, one on each side of the room, and both must be used at the same time by two different people. These hand scanners are quite advanced, so if a dead person's hand is put on it, it will not be registered as a live human being. This makes it effectively impossible for anyone to access the ship alone. The girls have never met each other before the incident takes place, and are thus very wary of each other. There are also weapons located in the armory of the facility that is still accessible. However there is not an unlimited supply of food and water, and no supply ships are arriving any time soon. The girls will thus have to partner up as escaping alone is impossible, but they're not too keen on being left behind for someone else's sake either. As time passes, hunger, thirst and mental fatigue will gradually worsen and relationships will falter. Hostilities will occur. Lives will be shed. However it is not as easy as to kill everyone else and escape, as you still need at least one other live person on your side in order to access the ship because of the hand scanners. Therefore it is also important to try to build a solid relationship with at least one other girl. Teams will be formed. Basically it'd be something of a mixture between Ever17 and Mirai Nikki with a dash of shoujo-ai thrown into it. Which team will manage to overcome their consciousnesses by sacrificing their friends in order to have a shot at life once more? How will they support each other both physically and mentally to keep themselves from faltering? Find out on Zero Hour. Also have some relevant facts about the setting, character details and stuffs on my comp but it's all unfinished and just done spontaneously. I like it.. :0 So I'm curious will this has some Yuri? :0 Do you need an illustrator? Or can you draw? Yuri is good. Also, you can draw. :o Yes but I don't have any pictures up yet, I'm exceptionally well. :0 I've developed a style that's similar to Ken Akamtsu. |
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu DE-F%#@ING-SU ~ yo! I make bad videos, if you have nothing better to do then here: My Channel Because Shameless Promotion and Self-Shaming It Will Make It Look Less Shameless |
Sep 28, 2013 9:40 AM
#22
Well, here you go. It's horrible and a mess. It's pretty cringeworthy. Prologue “5. . .” “7. . .” “3. . .” These mindless fools. Relentlessly, they play their dull guessing games. How can someone be so happy when in such a barbaric environment? “11. . .” They are all worthless. “6. . .” Parasites living off false happiness. “0. . .” Am I jealous? Do I want to join in? It’s been a while. Would they accept me? No, they wouldn't. I know they are kind people, but it’s too late for us to be friends again. After all, it's because of me that this happened. It wouldn't solve much, either. Are lives are slowly coming to an end. Why did I falter at such an important time? Why couldn't I keep my promise? Trust. It’s a painful word. It simply doesn’t exist. Where is she? Why did she forsake me? Where is she at this very moment? Screw it. It doesn't matter anymore. Hopefully she’s dead, strung up from her inte- No, I need to stop. I can’t let this happen again in such a place. Then again, what’s the worst case scenario? I kill everyone? Hehe~ That might be fun. “8. . .” “H, Hang on! Is he doing it again!? Quick, call the guards!” “Why should we? If he wants to kill us, let him.” “Hideki! We have to stop him!” Hideki? I remember that name. Who is he? It hurts. The sound of that name ringing through my ears. Darkness. . . Pain. . . Sorrow. . . That’s right. I’m not normal. I’m a monster. A failure of creation. I was destined for this torturous life. I want to speak. I want to confess my feeling to this cold atmosphere. I have to tell them my innermost feelings. “Teoro, tell me this. What could we possibly gain from helping him? Besides, it’s too late. His hair has already darkened. His eyes, they are narrow. Do you see any point in trying to help him? We might as well relax. We probably won’t live to see tomorrow.” “How can you say that!? Has everything we trained for amounted to nothing?” “That doesn't matter. Even if we fight back, we will still die.” “Hideki, you’re nothing but a scab to us. You will not ever heal over. If the five of us ever want to leave this place together, we have to work as one.” This tension. I recognize this feeling. Hideki. . . Teoro. . . I remember them. There were others here, too. Who were they? “Showing your true colours, Teoro?” “Both of you, stop it! You’re upsetting Misa” “What’s wrong, John? You’re in no position telling me to stop.” John? Misa? Why do these names seem so familiar yet so distant? “I, I’m fine, John. We just need to figu-” I can sense their feelings. Their thoughts are bouncing around endlessly. “(This is bad! If he awakens in a place like this, we’ll all die!)” “(This is Hideki’s fault! Why can’t we just leave peacefully?)” “(I, I need to protect John before it’s too late!)” Teoro. . . John. . . Misa. . . I remember them now. My friends? Why do they continue to protect me? It doesn’t matter. I have already given up. “Hiroshi! Snap out of it, you spineless piece of shit!” That voice. . . Hideki? That’s right. My name, it’s Hiroshi. “It’s too late! The cell gate is opening!” “Crap. There’s far too many of them this time.” “They even have the commander here. We’re screwed!” “Commander, should we rid of them here?” “Yes. Fire ‘it’.” “Aye! All squads, launch ‘it’.” ‘It’s’ racing towards them. I remember now. The promise I made. . . I. . . I. . . “I have to protect my friends!” Chapter One would take place 5 years prior to these events. |
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Sep 28, 2013 9:50 AM
#23
Diran-kun said: Well, here you go. It's horrible and a mess. It's pretty cringeworthy. Prologue “5. . .” “7. . .” “3. . .” These mindless fools. Relentlessly, they play their dull guessing games. How can someone be so happy when in such a barbaric environment? “11. . .” They are all worthless. “6. . .” Parasites living off false happiness. “0. . .” Am I jealous? Do I want to join in? It’s been a while. Would they accept me? No, they wouldn't. I know they are kind people, but it’s too late for us to be friends again. After all, it's because of me that this happened. It wouldn't solve much, either. Are lives are slowly coming to an end. Why did I falter at such an important time? Why couldn't I keep my promise? Trust. It’s a painful word. It simply doesn’t exist. Where is she? Why did she forsake me? Where is she at this very moment? Screw it. It doesn't matter anymore. Hopefully she’s dead, strung up from her inte- No, I need to stop. I can’t let this happen again in such a place. Then again, what’s the worst case scenario? I kill everyone? Hehe~ That might be fun. “8. . .” “H, Hang on! Is he doing it again!? Quick, call the guards!” “Why should we? If he wants to kill us, let him.” “Hideki! We have to stop him!” Hideki? I remember that name. Who is he? It hurts. The sound of that name ringing through my ears. Darkness. . . Pain. . . Sorrow. . . That’s right. I’m not normal. I’m a monster. A failure of creation. I was destined for this torturous life. I want to speak. I want to confess my feeling to this cold atmosphere. I have to tell them my innermost feelings. “Teoro, tell me this. What could we possibly gain from helping him? Besides, it’s too late. His hair has already darkened. His eyes, they are narrow. Do you see any point in trying to help him? We might as well relax. We probably won’t live to see tomorrow.” “How can you say that!? Has everything we trained for amounted to nothing?” “That doesn't matter. Even if we fight back, we will still die.” “Hideki, you’re nothing but a scab to us. You will not ever heal over. If the five of us ever want to leave this place together, we have to work as one.” This tension. I recognize this feeling. Hideki. . . Teoro. . . I remember them. There were others here, too. Who were they? “Showing your true colours, Teoro?” “Both of you, stop it! You’re upsetting Misa” “What’s wrong, John? You’re in no position telling me to stop.” John? Misa? Why do these names seem so familiar yet so distant? “I, I’m fine, John. We just need to figu-” I can sense their feelings. Their thoughts are bouncing around endlessly. “(This is bad! If he awakens in a place like this, we’ll all die!)” “(This is Hideki’s fault! Why can’t we just leave peacefully?)” “(I, I need to protect John before it’s too late!)” Teoro. . . John. . . Misa. . . I remember them now. My friends? Why do they continue to protect me? It doesn’t matter. I have already given up. “Hiroshi! Snap out of it, you spineless piece of shit!” That voice. . . Hideki? That’s right. My name, it’s Hiroshi. “It’s too late! The cell gate is opening!” “Crap. There’s far too many of them this time.” “They even have the commander here. We’re screwed!” “Commander, should we rid of them here?” “Yes. Fire ‘it’.” “Aye! All squads, launch ‘it’.” ‘It’s’ racing towards them. I remember now. The promise I made. . . I. . . I. . . “I have to protect my friends!” Chapter One would take place 5 years prior to these events. Pretty ok... it is kinda confusing. :0 I'll reread it though, add more. Anyone have anymore insight on my manga idea? :0 I highly appreciate it. |
Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu DE-F%#@ING-SU ~ yo! I make bad videos, if you have nothing better to do then here: My Channel Because Shameless Promotion and Self-Shaming It Will Make It Look Less Shameless |
Sep 28, 2013 10:05 AM
#24
It is really confusing. I can't really make it clear who's talking with narration, and I didn't want narration the the prologue. Here's a re-post with who's saying what next to their lines. Of course, all the narration is Hiroshi's thoughts. He only has one line in speech. Prologue “5. . .” - John “7. . .” - Teoro “3. . .” - Hideki These mindless fools. Relentlessly, they play their dull guessing games. How can someone be so happy when in such a barbaric environment? “11. . .” - Teoro They are all worthless. “6. . .” - Hideki Parasites living off false happiness. “0. . .” - John Am I jealous? Do I want to join in? It’s been a while. Would they accept me? No, they wouldn't. I know they are kind people, but it’s too late for us to be friends again. After all, it's because of me that this happened. It wouldn't solve much, either. Are lives are slowly coming to an end. Why did I falter at such an important time? Why couldn't I keep my promise? Trust. It’s a painful word. It simply doesn’t exist. Where is she? Why did she forsake me? Where is she at this very moment? Screw it. It doesn't matter anymore. Hopefully she’s dead, strung up from her inte- No, I need to stop. I can’t let this happen again in such a place. Then again, what’s the worst case scenario? I kill everyone? Hehe~ That might be fun. “8. . .” - Hideki “H, Hang on! Is he doing it again!? Quick, call the guards!” - Teoro “Why should we? If he wants to kill us, let him.” - Hideki “Hideki! We have to stop him!” - Teoro Hideki? I remember that name. Who is he? It hurts. The sound of that name ringing through my ears. Darkness. . . Pain. . . Sorrow. . . That’s right. I’m not normal. I’m a monster. A failure of creation. I was destined for this torturous life. I want to speak. I want to confess my feeling to this cold atmosphere. I have to tell them my innermost feelings. “Teoro, tell me this. What could we possibly gain from helping him? Besides, it’s too late. His hair has already darkened. His eyes, they are narrow. Do you see any point in trying to help him? We might as well relax. We probably won’t live to see tomorrow.” - Hideki “How can you say that!? Has everything we trained for amounted to nothing?” - Teoro “That doesn't matter. Even if we fight back, we will still die.” - Hideki “Hideki, you’re nothing but a scab to us. You will not ever heal over. If the five of us ever want to leave this place together, we have to work as one.”- Teoro This tension. I recognize this feeling. Hideki. . . Teoro. . . I remember them. There were others here, too. Who were they? “Showing your true colours, Teoro?” - Hideki “Both of you, stop it! You’re upsetting Misa”- John “What’s wrong, John? You’re in no position telling me to stop.”- Hideki John? Misa? Why do these names seem so familiar yet so distant? “I, I’m fine, John. We just need to figu-” -Misa I can sense their feelings. Their thoughts are bouncing around endlessly. “(This is bad! If he awakens in a place like this, we’ll all die!)”-Teoro “(This is Hideki’s fault! Why can’t we just leave peacefully?)”-John “(I, I need to protect John before it’s too late!)”-Misa Teoro. . . John. . . Misa. . . I remember them now. My friends? Why do they continue to protect me? It doesn’t matter. I have already given up. “Hiroshi! Snap out of it, you spineless piece of shit!”-Hideki That voice. . . Hideki? That’s right. My name, it’s Hiroshi. “It’s too late! The cell gate is opening!”-Teoro “Crap. There’s far too many of them this time.”-Hideki “They even have the commander here. We’re screwed!”-John “Commander, should we rid of them here?”- Some guy. I'll probably make him somewhat important. His name is now Lt. Blanc “Yes. Fire ‘it’.”-Commander “Aye! All squads, launch ‘it’.”-Lt. Blanc ‘It’s’ racing towards them. I remember now. The promise I made. . . I. . . I. . . “I have to protect my friends!”-Hiroshi |
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Sep 28, 2013 2:42 PM
#25
CallMeKurisuchan said: _Chimo said: CallMeKurisuchan said: HaXXspetten said: err well I already posted this once, but I just scribbled this down on a whim in a thread about ideas for anime: I wanna make a shoujo-ai survival game anime in space. The details are work in progress but here's a rough outline of what I could make up on the spot: Twenty girls of various backgrounds and ages find themselves trapped on a space station. It's secluded from the rest of galactic civilization and there's been a power failure that has made several areas of the station either inaccessible or malfunctioning, including the ability to contact the outside. There is only one small ship docked at the docking bay, and it only has enough room and oxygen for two people to have a chance to make it back to civilization. In order to open the hatch to the ship, a person needs to have their palms scanned by a hand scanner in the docking bay. The problem is there are two of these, one on each side of the room, and both must be used at the same time by two different people. These hand scanners are quite advanced, so if a dead person's hand is put on it, it will not be registered as a live human being. This makes it effectively impossible for anyone to access the ship alone. The girls have never met each other before the incident takes place, and are thus very wary of each other. There are also weapons located in the armory of the facility that is still accessible. However there is not an unlimited supply of food and water, and no supply ships are arriving any time soon. The girls will thus have to partner up as escaping alone is impossible, but they're not too keen on being left behind for someone else's sake either. As time passes, hunger, thirst and mental fatigue will gradually worsen and relationships will falter. Hostilities will occur. Lives will be shed. However it is not as easy as to kill everyone else and escape, as you still need at least one other live person on your side in order to access the ship because of the hand scanners. Therefore it is also important to try to build a solid relationship with at least one other girl. Teams will be formed. Basically it'd be something of a mixture between Ever17 and Mirai Nikki with a dash of shoujo-ai thrown into it. Which team will manage to overcome their consciousnesses by sacrificing their friends in order to have a shot at life once more? How will they support each other both physically and mentally to keep themselves from faltering? Find out on Zero Hour. Also have some relevant facts about the setting, character details and stuffs on my comp but it's all unfinished and just done spontaneously. I like it.. :0 So I'm curious will this has some Yuri? :0 Do you need an illustrator? Or can you draw? Yuri is good. Also, you can draw. :o Yes but I don't have any pictures up yet, I'm exceptionally well. :0 I've developed a style that's similar to Ken Akamtsu. Yuri is always phun, not sure that would really fit the theme though. Think it'd make more sense to leave it at shoujo-ai. and no, my artistic talent is basically zero :/ |
Oct 7, 2013 12:25 PM
#26
Just going to bump this thread. :0 |
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