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Dec 3, 2012 10:21 PM

Offline
Feb 2010
1084
Name of thread: The hero returning alive: Chapter 1
Name of involved Characters: Hai (Demise) Shadow (Yoko)
URL Link to thread:http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=521673&redirect=1#post0

Hai: 80 sp

Shadow: 80 sp
BillzorDec 4, 2012 10:21 AM
"If you can't accept the worst - what else will you accept?"

"People like to tell me darkness is the absence of light, so i tell them - darkness can only be found in the presence of light" - Amane Chiyo
Dec 4, 2012 9:19 PM

Offline
Nov 2009
5075
name: I want to be the best i can be (eoisode a chance incounter)
involved characters: Chikusa, Raysha, Rikudo, Naoru
http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=503015&show=100 [starting on page six]

Chikusa: 100
Raysha: 100
Rukudo: 120
Naoru: 120
TaizenKyoDec 10, 2012 4:05 PM
I miss rping here.....
Dec 10, 2012 12:53 PM
Offline
Jul 2012
12565
Name a chance meeting
Involved charecters raysha and hiro
http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=525366

Raysha: 70
Hiro: 70
TaizenKyoDec 10, 2012 4:38 PM
Dec 10, 2012 1:04 PM

Offline
Nov 2009
1744
Name: Between us Brothers
Involved Characters: Rikudo & Naoru
Chapter 3

Rikudo - 90sp
Naoru - 120sp

~Shadow
Shadow543Dec 11, 2012 1:59 AM
Dec 11, 2012 1:12 AM

Offline
Feb 2010
1237
Name of thread: Azmaria's Story Chapter 2: The Rescue
Name of involved Characters: Azmaria (Jyenh) Fei; Kurou; Aion (temporary story NPCs)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=505051&show=20

~You can just post the link without the [url] brackets and MAL with automatically hyper link it. If you wanted to URL something else, like

Azmaria's Story Chapter 2: The Rescue

Then you type -> [ url=http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=505051&show=20]Azmaria's Story Chapter 2: The Rescue[/url ]

Without the spaces.

Azmaria - 100sp

~ Shadow
Shadow543Dec 11, 2012 2:19 AM
"I come for all who grow, crawl, and walk. I am the perfect hunter. In the end, I am the victor."

Dec 13, 2012 8:04 PM
Offline
Jul 2012
12565
Name of thread bandit at large strike of the deadly assassin
Name of involved characters raysha (me) kirachi ,village chief (temporary npc)
URL link to the thread http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=510013&show=0


Raysha - 140sp (+50 time bonus)

~ Shadow
Shadow543Dec 15, 2012 5:33 PM
Dec 14, 2012 3:09 PM

Offline
Feb 2010
1237
Name of thread: Azmaria's Story Chapter 3: Preparation
Name of involved Characters: Azmaria (Jyenh) Fei; Kurou; Aion (temporary story NPCs)
URL Link to thread: Posts #29-#34


Azmaria - 70sp

~ Shadow
Shadow543Dec 15, 2012 5:30 PM
"I come for all who grow, crawl, and walk. I am the perfect hunter. In the end, I am the victor."

Dec 17, 2012 4:38 AM

Offline
Jun 2009
5866
Name of thread: The Mystery of the sensory kunoichi
Name of character involved: Miyuki, Chikuma (NPC)
Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=513625 (Episode 2, Post# 7+)

Miyuki: 80
TaizenKyoDec 17, 2012 7:05 PM
"Just like a person holding a sword trying to protect something. That maybe one's life, or place in society, or reputation, things that one loves, things that one believes; it matters not if it's good or bad, the will to 'protect it' does not change."- yoruichi
Dec 22, 2012 10:31 PM

Offline
Feb 2010
1084
Name of thread: The hero returning alive.
Name of character involved: Demise (Haissem), Yoko (Shadow), Miki (NPC)
Link to thread: (Episode 2, Post #20-37, not finished)http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=521673&show=20

Hai - 180 sp
Shadow 130sp
baxter09Dec 22, 2012 11:15 PM
"If you can't accept the worst - what else will you accept?"

"People like to tell me darkness is the absence of light, so i tell them - darkness can only be found in the presence of light" - Amane Chiyo
Dec 26, 2012 1:04 AM

Offline
Nov 2009
1744
Name of thread: Between Us Brothers
Name of characters involved: Rikudo & Naoru
Link to thread: Chapter 4


Name of thread: Count Your Chickens...
Name of characters involved: Naoru
Link to thread: Count Your Chickens

Between Us Brothers
Rikudo - 50sp (CONGRATULATIONS ON 6000SP)
Naoru - 100sp

Count Your Chickens... (...before some cunt steals them.)
Naoru - 30sp (Mostly because of the chickens and the fact I liked the theme)

(Editors Note: Wat did I just read...?)

~Shadow
Shadow543Dec 27, 2012 11:31 PM
Dec 27, 2012 10:20 PM

Offline
Nov 2009
6092
Name of the thread: The Problems With Having a Team
Name of Characters Involved: Isao(panda) Haruka(Tali)
Link To Thread:(Episode 2 Tali and Panda are done. Jimmy and Nyabn are still going) http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=513917&show=40

Isao - 180sp
Haruka - 140sp

*vomits*

~Shadow
Shadow543Dec 27, 2012 11:28 PM
Dec 28, 2012 9:41 PM

Offline
Feb 2010
1084
Name of the thread: Survival 101
Name of Characters Involved: Hiro (Artemis - Shin_Sekai) Kaori (NPC)
Link To Thread:http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=526652

(Story not finished due to character changes. Marking based on present story.)


TO THE CHUNIN EXAMSSSSSS

Hiro (Artemis) - 120sp

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 1, 2013 12:26 AM
"If you can't accept the worst - what else will you accept?"

"People like to tell me darkness is the absence of light, so i tell them - darkness can only be found in the presence of light" - Amane Chiyo
Dec 29, 2012 12:12 AM

Offline
Jul 2009
637
Name of thread: The Awakening (Closed Thread)
Name of involved Characters: Blitz (Zanta)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=538290&show=0#post1

Very nice 'Awakening' I look forward to seeing Blitz in action.

Random. Capitals. All. Over. The. Place.
Random. Punctuation.
ARAARARARHGHGHAWALJLGHSL
*Foams at the mount*


Blitz - 50sp

~Shadow
Shadow543Dec 31, 2012 11:48 PM
[center]"Gentlemen, all I ask for is war. A war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge from this Earth?!" - The Major.
Dec 29, 2012 12:35 AM

Offline
Dec 2012
23649
ki hut(open)
ki*as of now*
http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=537392

I cannot mark this thread in good conscious in relation to the standards set by the other members of the club. Please take a look at the other threads in the club and that have been handed in inside this thread if you wish to see why.

'This is a club for hardcore RPers' - TaizenKyo



~Shadow
frogotenJan 4, 2013 3:06 PM
..... :'(
Dec 29, 2012 3:15 PM

Offline
Feb 2010
2321
Name of thread: A Formidable Memory [Character Arc]
Name of involved Characters: Shion (Main Character)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=530914

Good writing Rai, I enjoyed reading it. Bunny-rai-bonus activate!

Shion - 150sp (+50 Rai bonus)

~Shadow
Shadow543Dec 31, 2012 11:42 PM
Jan 2, 2013 11:22 PM

Offline
Aug 2012
6909
Thread Name: The Deadliest of Sins
Characters: Etsuko Yamaguchi
URL: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=531888

SP Awarded: 500

Full breakdown of each post:


Overall a good read. I will be asking to join you in the thread sometime in the future~
MotionBlueJan 3, 2013 7:37 AM
Hey you! Yes you! Do you like:
Dragon Ball?
Jan 3, 2013 6:47 AM

Offline
Feb 2010
2321
Name of thread: Team 2-Orime: A Meeting Between Two Souls
Name of involved Characters: Hyuga Shion (Main), Naoru (Toxic's chara, Artemis (Shin's chara)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=531444

Syrai: 400 SP
Unrated: 200 SP
Shin: 70 SP


Detailed breakdown of each post:


You guys should communicate more between your characters in order to build a more coherent story. Keep up the good work!

Name of thread: Hyuuga Family Secrets (Syrai-super-happy-fun-SP-thread)
Name of involved Characters: Hyuga Shion (Main) and Hyuga Miki/Mami (Shadow)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=535596
MotionBlueJan 3, 2013 11:13 AM
Jan 3, 2013 12:24 PM

Offline
Jun 2009
5866
Name of thread: The Mystery of the sensory kunoichi
Name of characters involved: Miyuki
Url to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=513625 (Episode 3)

80 SP
TaizenKyoJan 3, 2013 1:34 PM
"Just like a person holding a sword trying to protect something. That maybe one's life, or place in society, or reputation, things that one loves, things that one believes; it matters not if it's good or bad, the will to 'protect it' does not change."- yoruichi
Jan 3, 2013 10:08 PM

Offline
Jul 2009
637
Name of thread: Getting the gear to be Great....
Name of involved Characters: Blitz (Zantaboan)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=541092

I wanted to give a bit more with how well you are writing, but the contents of the thread don't really allow. I hope this is enough to keep you going past the initial start up phase ^^

Blitz - 50sp

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 7, 2013 4:07 AM
[center]"Gentlemen, all I ask for is war. A war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge from this Earth?!" - The Major.
Jan 4, 2013 4:39 AM

Offline
Feb 2010
1237
Name of thread: Chapter 4: Unawares
Name of involved Characters: Azmaria (Jyenh) & Fei (NPC)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=505051&show=20

You missed the bonus points for putting a YT video of Amaranth in when you mentioned it. Edit it in now and I cut you.

Azmaria - 40sp

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 7, 2013 4:12 AM
"I come for all who grow, crawl, and walk. I am the perfect hunter. In the end, I am the victor."

Jan 4, 2013 10:00 AM

Offline
Mar 2009
20612
Name of Thread: Clash of the Elements
Characters Involved : Kasei (bax), Rayasha (miku)
link: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=535876&show=0



Kasei: 80
Rayasha: 80


My name is Psynergi, i approve of this message~
PsynergiJan 4, 2013 10:06 AM
Jan 13, 2013 7:27 AM

Offline
Jul 2009
637
Name of thread: Blitz Follows Trouble so Follow Blitz
Name of involved Characters: Blitz(Zantaboan)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=545511&show=0#post1


Nice to see some action. Still not used to your writing style though.

Blitz - 100sp

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 16, 2013 3:31 AM
[center]"Gentlemen, all I ask for is war. A war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge from this Earth?!" - The Major.
Jan 13, 2013 7:50 AM

Offline
Nov 2009
5075
Name of thread: I want to be the best i can be Ep 4 (starting at post 158 i think)
Involved characters: Ruseo and fallen_saint
Url: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=503015&show=140


I would have liked to see more description on most of the posts. Just adding one or two sentences can make a big difference. I have to thank you Rus, for doing a thread with Fallen to get him started in the RP.

Chikusa - 80sp
Makura - 100sp (+20 for first thread bonus)

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 16, 2013 3:45 AM
I miss rping here.....
Jan 16, 2013 1:25 AM

Offline
Feb 2009
733
Name of thread: "The Cobra Unit" Story Thread [Invite Only]
Name of involved characters: Chuugo Chiaki (Bill), Nande Genkotsu (Kyo), Yukiko Mochizuki (Motion)
Url: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=502481&show=80#msg18674820


You idiots are crazy. So fucking crazy. Especially the boss. Fuck she's crazy.
CRAZY.
*Brands you all with Crazy*
Also probably one of the best threads I have read.

Chiaki - 500sp
Nande - 500sp (-100sp for making the club motto "Blame Shadow" +100sp for that one night we spent together in Paris.)
Yukiko - 500sp

~Shadow

Shadow543Jan 21, 2013 7:22 PM
Pantyshots are a different matter entirely



Jan 16, 2013 6:34 AM
Offline
Jul 2012
12565
Name of thread Trent topic
Name of involved charecters raysha (me) zero (Trent)
URL http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=545063

(sorry if I'm posting this instead of trent wasnt sure if he knew to do this )


It was rather flat to read and didn't do much to create any feeling, apart from a few of the better posts (mainly Miku). To me it looked as if it was just the bare minimum, which may be standard in other clubs, but we are always trying to improve here and to create more detailed RP and stories.

Trent - looks like you have a solid idea about RP, which is good. I would just like to see more depth and quality in your posts. Description and the like. Even if it's just one or two more sentences. Also, please work a little on grammar and paragraphing, you are good in general, but some posts just make my head hurt trying to read and understand them properly.

Miku - Good work overall, I would have liked to see you take a little more lead with some larger posts to try and evoke more detail from Trent, but you did well regardless (keeping in mind you are still learning yourself, I probably shouldn't be expecting you too, but I like to hope ^^). You have some really good moments, and some disappointing one line posts, but the quality of your RP seems to be improving steadily which is all we can ask for. Keep up the good work!

Zero - 60sp
Raysha - 80sp

~ Shadow
Shadow543Jan 20, 2013 7:49 PM
Jan 24, 2013 3:38 PM

Offline
Jul 2008
1472
Name of thread: Southern Mountain Herb Collecting Punis-Task Go!
Name of involved Characters: Takezo Kensei (Psy) Yukikaze Shiroyuki (Talia) Psy Mulander (NPC)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=548887&show=0


PSY-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA~

Kensei - 120SP
Yuki - 150SP (+30 PSY-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA~ bonus)
PSY-SAMAAAAAAA - 9000+ PSY-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA'S

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 26, 2013 8:28 PM
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known" -Carl Edward Sagan
Jan 25, 2013 3:11 PM

Offline
Nov 2009
5075
(Hope this one is better thatn the last chapter)
thread: i want to be the best i can be Episode 5: The Evil Man, A Young Kunoichi In Danger! (post 238 on page 12)
Character: Chikusa, Blitz, Makura at the end
Url: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=503015&show=220


It definitely was better than the last chapter. Good work Rus. You put a lot of effort into driving the thread. Also, company can be a big factor too. I think that RP'ing with Zant and Fallen did well to bring out the better sides in all of you.
Good work so far Fallen, hope you keep it up and get better, you may end up getting to RP with me~ (It's a punishment, ask Panda)
Same to you Zant, good to see you doing a group thread rather than just solo stuff, but that doesn't mean I'm letting you stop your solo stuff ^-^

Chikusa - 250
Blitz - 200
Makura - 150

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 26, 2013 9:05 PM
I miss rping here.....
Jan 25, 2013 5:18 PM
Offline
Jan 2011
41314
Name of thread Trent topic
Name of involved charecters Zero (me (trent), raysha (Miku), Snow (Snowman) Hikaru (Flame)
URL http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=545063&show=40
chapter 2
page 3 post 4 and onwards for know


For Trent, Snow (to a lesser extent) and Flame. -> http://myanimelist.net/blog.php?eid=62607

Trent - Your RP seems to have gotten worse, if anything. Remember, quality beats quantity. Half of your posts were not able to be marked because they did not meet the minimum requirements for the club.
Flame - What I said to Trent, partially. But also, try to be aware of the circumstances of the thread. Your posts were completely irrelevant to the rest of the thread.
Snow - Not too bad. I would say you could use with some lessons in structure. It would make your posts a lot better if they were easier to read and set out in a legible manner. But overall, not bad. Which is actually quite good compared. Have a cookie.
*Gives snow a cookie*
Poor Miku. Poor, adorable Miku. You try so hard. *Cuddles*

Zero - 30SP
Miku - 100SP
Snow - 50SP
Hikaru - 10SP

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 26, 2013 9:37 PM
Jan 26, 2013 2:03 PM

Offline
Jul 2008
1472
Name of thread: Kensei's Adventures in Horrorland and What He Saw There. With Belle. Somehow.
Name of involved Characters: Kensei (Psy) Belle, somehow (Ender) Various NPC's (Talia)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=527464


With Belle. Somehow. What the hell ender.
Otherwise, strong finish. The last page was probably better than the other two combined. Even though set-up was needed. I am a very simple person.

Tali - 1GB of Furry Porn of your choice. (Since I can't give NPC's SP apparently. Or give you SP for DM'ing)
Kensei - 200SP
Belle - 10SP

~Shadow
Shadow543Jan 26, 2013 10:11 PM
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known" -Carl Edward Sagan
Jan 30, 2013 7:55 AM

Offline
May 2010
1208
Name of thread: Sibling Rivalry: Shiro and Saeko Test Their Skills
Name of involved Characters: Shiro (Hoshi) and Saeko (Kaos)
URL Link to thread: [url=http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=530878]http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=530878


Random generic comment - because I have nothing.

Shiro - 100sp
Saeko - 100sp

~Shadow
Shadow543Feb 15, 2013 8:43 PM


Youmi Academy ID
Feb 6, 2013 10:31 AM

Offline
Feb 2009
1612
SP awarded for Chunin Exams Test 2

Thread: Yoko vs Isao and Shion

Yoko: 200
Isao: 200
Shion: 200
Feb 6, 2013 3:20 PM

Offline
Jul 2008
1472
SP awarded for Chunin Exams Test 2

Thread: Chikusa VS Luna - http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=547427

Chikusa: 150 + 50 boobie-bonus~

Luna: 150 + 50 boobie-bonus~

This fight had a satisfying amount of fanservice. If i was allowed to give more then 200, i would give another 50 in pure fanservice-bonus :3
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known" -Carl Edward Sagan
Feb 6, 2013 4:08 PM

Offline
Mar 2009
20612
Sp awarded for exams~

thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=547429

Nande - 100
Etsuko - 100
Naoru - 100
Feb 7, 2013 1:19 AM

Offline
Feb 2009
733
SP Awarded for Chuunin Exams Test 2

Thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=547423

Miyuki: 140
Shiromaru: 160
Kensei: 170
Akurei: 170 + 30 multikill bonus.
Pantyshots are a different matter entirely



Feb 7, 2013 8:37 AM

Offline
Mar 2009
1856
SP Awarded for Chunin Exams Test 2

Thread: Kasei and Belle vs Saeko and Salali

Kasei: 100
Belle: 100
Saeko: 100 + 50 Face Smashing Bonus
Salali: 100
Did you know every time you sigh, a little bit of happiness escapes? ~Senjougahara Hitagi
Feb 7, 2013 2:02 PM

Offline
Jul 2008
15930
If Hoshi had been paying attention, he would have realized that I've replaced him as judge...

Demise: 140 + 40 gender confusion bonus
Azmaria: 160 +40 Genjutsu Battle bonus
Yukiko: 160 + 40 Patchy the Ninja Pirate bonus
Chiaki: 140 +40 Ch-ch-ch-chia~ bonus

Judges comments: Always good to see this level of teamwork and that genjutsu is finally being utilized. Ninjutsu had gotten bland. :P

Commentators comments: Needs more face punching...
Feb 15, 2013 8:40 PM

Offline
Feb 2010
1084
SP Awarded for Chunin Exams Test 2

Thread: Raysha vs Sage

Raysha: 100
Sage: 100
"If you can't accept the worst - what else will you accept?"

"People like to tell me darkness is the absence of light, so i tell them - darkness can only be found in the presence of light" - Amane Chiyo
Feb 15, 2013 8:48 PM

Offline
Feb 2010
1084
~Updated~
"If you can't accept the worst - what else will you accept?"

"People like to tell me darkness is the absence of light, so i tell them - darkness can only be found in the presence of light" - Amane Chiyo
Feb 25, 2013 9:22 AM

Offline
Nov 2009
5075
Thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=503015&show=306
Episode 6:Power Gained Through Sin! Are The Results Worth The Price!?

Warning: very long and lots of story little fighting

Participants:
Ruseo: 160 (you've gotten much better)
Sound Oracle: 160 (I am legitimately impressed)
Miku: 160 (Holy balls, girl! Please work on your quotations, otherwise you've gotten pretty good. Keep it up :3)
BB: npc...cannot grade. In case I'm wrong: 150
Lucky Mei: 160 (Jingle bells! Go to hell! Bitch get outta mah way! x3)

Admin Comment: Not a bad chapter by any means. A few happenings seemed a little too convenient but what can you do? ~ Talia-Morisane
TamoballMar 6, 2013 4:37 PM
I miss rping here.....
Feb 27, 2013 9:02 PM

Offline
Sep 2010
226
Thread: Contact

Participant

Yukio(Sound_Oracle):60

Admin Comments: Sorry, I got bored after a few posts but gave you something for your time.
TamoballMar 6, 2013 4:41 PM
Mar 3, 2013 10:52 AM

Offline
Sep 2010
226
Thread: The Lost World
Episode: Guests Arrive

Participant

Chikusa(Ruseo): 150
Yukio(Sound_Oracle): 150
Soren(VisionZA): 150
Riku(LuckyMei): 150 (Mmh!)
Raysha(MikuIzumi): 150

Admin Comments: Free sp for everyone, pretty much. Courtesy of Baxter. ~ Talia-Morisane
TamoballMar 6, 2013 4:48 PM
Mar 6, 2013 4:51 PM

Offline
Jul 2008
15930
~Updated~
Mar 6, 2013 7:58 PM

Offline
Jun 2009
1462
Name of thread: Team 13 Formed
Name of involved Characters: Orochi Uchiha
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=566915

170sp (please don't rush me...)
~Talia
TamoballMar 12, 2013 7:41 PM
No matter what blade you possess, it is impossible to cut a single flower that blooms in the wilderness that has become my home. ~Unknown
Mar 9, 2013 8:16 PM

Offline
Jun 2009
1462
Name of thread: Test of Strength
Name of involved Characters: Raysha (Miku), Orochi (Me)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=568575

20sp Each

baxter09Mar 13, 2013 11:07 AM
No matter what blade you possess, it is impossible to cut a single flower that blooms in the wilderness that has become my home. ~Unknown
Mar 11, 2013 12:43 PM
Offline
Feb 2013
321
Thread: Soren and Susanna : A Bloody Tale
Chapter : 1. Learning Jutsu
URL Link to thread : http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=567875
Participants

Soren(VisionZA) :
**NPC**Susanna(Talia)

Soren: 130sp~
Susanna: A night with Kasei :P

A good read and Vision it seems like you have a lot of potential. Keep up the good work~

Talia: Dream on, Baxtard :P
TamoballMar 16, 2013 5:30 AM
stop lookin for a sign(ature) and move along
Mar 14, 2013 1:17 PM

Offline
Jun 2009
1462
Name of thread: Lion on the Loose! Team 13's first mission
Name of involved Characters: Orochi (me)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=568957


Orochi: 120

A few events seemed a little too convenient to me, but it wasn't bad by any means. And what's up with everyone and their mother-in-law having a sharingan lately? The lady just being highly skilled would have been believable enough. A few unnecessary details can ruin a narrative and ones enjoyment of said narrative. Work on that a bit and you'll go sky high with your writing.

~Talia~
TamoballMar 16, 2013 5:30 AM
No matter what blade you possess, it is impossible to cut a single flower that blooms in the wilderness that has become my home. ~Unknown
Mar 19, 2013 7:54 AM

Offline
Jun 2009
1462
Name of thread: Mission Failed! Team 13 Disbanded!
Name of involved Characters: Orochi (me)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=570713



Orochi: 80sp
+20sp "Creative Liberty" Bonus

Seems like you got something going here. Although your writing style appears wierd at times, it works to your advantage becouse you rarely use your "voice" when writing. The story itself looks promising, looking forward to the next one!

The Creative Liberty bonus is for doing something that i see very rarely these days, which is the act of using regular Village-npcs to further the story. I like seeing this, people using barmaids, guards, anbu, rice-peddlers, kids, carpenters and hoodlums that not only help you push your story ahead but also helps show that the village is a living place with people other then just us.

Ganbatte!

-Psy
PsynergiApr 6, 2013 4:40 AM
No matter what blade you possess, it is impossible to cut a single flower that blooms in the wilderness that has become my home. ~Unknown
Mar 20, 2013 12:41 PM
Offline
Feb 2013
321
Thread: Soren and Susanna : A Bloody Tale
Chapter : 2 : Hunting that which sleeps in the Fog

URL Link to thread :http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=567875

Start : Page 2 Post#33
End : Page 4 Post#67

Participants

Soren(VisionZA) :
**NPC**Susanna(Talia)



____________________________________________________


Soren: 120
+20 DM Bonus
+20 Omgwtflololol "finally-a-bloody-mist-test"-thread Bonus

Great read, you do indeed have talent Vision. Keep nurturing that! In the meantime, try and choose more carefully and scarcely where to use Bold writing. Its generally used to highlight something, not for entire paragraphs xD

Apart from that, great job!

-Psy
PsynergiApr 6, 2013 4:36 AM
stop lookin for a sign(ature) and move along
Mar 22, 2013 11:08 AM
Offline
Oct 2012
610
Name of thread: The lonely swordsman
Name of involved Characters: Hitori (me)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=572851


_______________________________________

Hitori: 60sp
+10sp "Wierd style" Bonus
+20sp Omgwtfawesome "Kunai-necklace" Bonus



You have a very unique writing style that i have never seen before. At first it seemed awkward to read, but getting used to it i could tell there was something profoundly interesting about this writing style.

Keep it up!

-Psy
PsynergiApr 6, 2013 4:46 AM
I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades,
Unknown to death, nor known to life.
Have whitstood pain to create many weapons,
Yet, these hands will never hold anything,
So, as I pray: Unlimited Blade Works
And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
Apr 4, 2013 5:21 AM
Offline
Oct 2012
610
Name of thread: The master
Name of involved Characters: Hitori (me)
URL Link to thread: http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=577949


_____________________________________________


Hitori: 40sp
+10 "Training thread" Bonus
+10 "Not-so-gentle fist" Bonus


This one was much shorter then the other one, and its a shame since its a training thread. Training threads are a good way to earn Sp, and doing a training thread this short is wasting SP ^^

That said, i really like how you incorporated Lightening-Release chakra into the Gentle fist. If that thing didnt paralyze you before, getting zapped every time you are hit will definately do the trick! :)

-Psy
PsynergiApr 6, 2013 4:56 AM
I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades,
Unknown to death, nor known to life.
Have whitstood pain to create many weapons,
Yet, these hands will never hold anything,
So, as I pray: Unlimited Blade Works
And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
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