New
Which one? (Please skim the teasers for all of them, at least)
Nov 23, 2014 12:21 PM
#1
Each year I like to do something serious_ so don't worry, I'll finish this for sure. This year, my goal is a novel, published online in which a chapter is released each week. You won't see it until I've written three chapters ahead of time and until I've planned out the details and logistics, but the first step, is, of course, to narrow down on my ideas. To make sure I write a novel that I really want to write (so I don't end up giving up once I get started) and to ensure that people want to read the story (so I don't feel like I've been working in vain), for the past 1-2 months I've been challenging myself to come up with many structured story ideas from a range of genres. Yes, some genres were harder to come up with stories for than others. I will probably make another post, after the votes are in, with more details about how my whole plan is going to work and the story I will do. Whether you like it or not, you're all in for a journey with me, haha. Anyway, I've managed to compile them into these ideas below. I wrote a teaser, sort of like a MAL description, then a spoiler. But seriously, I don't suggest opening the spoilers unless you like to know exactly how things play out_ they really do give away the ending to the entire story. If I feel that it's necessary to tell you whether there's a plot twist or an overarching storyline, I'll mention it in the teaser. I would appreciate some questions/comments about the stories as well. Though, of course, as with the poll results, I may not necessarily follow the suggestions. However, I will try my best to answer all questions. Oh, and these are just ideas, so they're probably going to change at least a little when I actually write and post the chapters. And fair warning_ some/all could be entirely cliche, but hey, think about it this way: Maybe I have this new angle of writing! Feel free to suggest story titles and character names as well. (But be serious, please.) I didn't put in titles or names yet because I believe they take a lot of thought, but I didn't want to waste time thinking about names and ruin story development. Here goes. Don't worry. I consider myself a much better story writer than teaser writer. Please deal with my perhaps-inadequate descriptions. Vote for the stories only in the poll. The extras are possible side-projects. If any seem interesting, just put "Extra1" or "Extra2" in the comments to vote. Ideas (I think they're enjoyable just to read, so give them a skim, at least, before voting please!): Story1 Genre: Military, Utopia/Dystopia Overarching plot, no particularly large plot twists yet Teaser: Don’t you wonder whether your life is actually some virtual reality? Person1 and Person2 are twins that are born together, and they know that they’re going to die together. After all, everyone has the same lifespan. They live in a world where life is completely fair. Everyone feels the same amount of total pain; everyone recieves the same amount of happy events. And there seems to be no controller behind the scenes. Though it could simply be that the controllers aren't taking advantage of such power. Once a murder happens in public, so that it’s too hard to cover up quickly, people begin to wonder: Are they living in a virtual reality? Is the only way out to die in this world? Is it worth the risk? When Person2 gets captured by the radicals who want to create a giant explosion that would “free” everyone, Person1 is forced to join. They eventually decide it’s not worth the risk. They may not know anything about the controllers or the system now, and be, in fact, so far from knowing that they have no way to contact them or destroy them, but who knows, maybe they’ll learn later. They can live in such a society. After all, they have for a really long time. Story2 Genre: Business, Comedy, Drama, Mystery, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, could be a little episodic, no particularly large plot twists yet Teaser: Person1 is a tired salarywoman, who doesn’t feel the excitement she once felt as a high school or college student. She wishes she could do something exciting with her life. Person2 is a conman. After graduating from high school, he had trouble finding work, and decided to live in an abandoned building and make some money by tricking people. Person3 is a struggling artist. Life isn’t as free has she thought. Person4 is a failing entrepreneur. His only promising company burned down. By twists of fate, they meet and remember their high school friendship. Together, they start a candy company. Funny things happen, some weird coincidences, some personal conflicts, some inner mysteries. Their candy company succeeds, after much trouble. They retire and kindly sell of the company to another set of aspiring friends. Story3 Genre: Sci-fi, Drama, Psychological Overarching plot, plot twist at the very end When a new gene-editing drug works on the family cat, an exhausted mother decides to try it on her own delinquent son. It starts to work as well: The son studies harder and begins to voice his aspirations. However, three years later, the cat dies, and the mother frantically takes her son to the hospital for a medical analysis. The son only has seven years left to live. Is there some way out? Or, at least, some way to deal with the dread? The son gets cancer, which luckily, and ironically, mutates him back. However, the mom dies of anxiety. Story4 Genre: School, Drama, Comedy, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, could be a little episodic, no particularly large plot twists yet Teaser: Person1 is a girl obsessed with being rich, famous, and good at everything. During middle school, everyone in her classes admired her for her talents. With large goals, she enters high school. She believes that she can do anything! That is, until she meets a guy who won the national science fair in sixth grade, a girl who has never drawn a single thing, but stuns the teacher with her art on the first day, and a guy who seems to be able to read a book once, and memorize it. Moreover, teacher wrongly accuses her of plagiarism in the first week of school. Could it get any worse? That’s when she meets Person2. Annoying, overly-positive, and chats too much about her thoughts. She seems to be able to extract a moral from everything. How can she make it through her first year with these people around? Girl eventually realizes she doesn’t need a true talent, and rich and famous isn’t everything. Tons of life lessons in this one, through Person2. Story5 Genre: Drama, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, large event at the end, though not really a twist Teaser: Person1 feels horrible about herself. She is seems to give up on everything. She quit practicing piano to switch to guitar, then quit playing guitar. She once dreamed of becoming an Olympic gymnast, only to quit that, too. She seemed to like learning German, but once she started it, she realized she couldn’t go on. One day, as she resigns to another afternoon of sleeping on the couch with the TV on, she finds an old marble that seems to take her to scenes in her past when she looks in. She meets old friends and does activities she used to do. She eventually learns to let go and not dwell on the past. She accepts her grandmother’s death (which will be hinted at throughout the entire narrative). She puts her all into her current activities, even if she knows she will one day quit. Her final shock to reality occurs when she hits someone while driving when she wasn’t focused enough to hit the brakes. She regrets wasting time dawdling on the past. Story6 Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Super Powers Overarching plot, hopefully plot twist at end (though I still have to come up with one) Teaser: Person1 is a guy living a normal life until his father disappears right in front of his eyes. Apparently, he (and most likely his father) are magicians. There’s a scientific organization that wants to eliminate all such magicians, and organization of magicians that keeps pestering all magicians to work together to fight the scientists. This was explained to Person1 by Person2, a guy with levitation powers, and Person3, a girl who can manipulate memories, both classmates at his school. Later Person4, who is a cute girl with healing powers and too many apologies, and Person5, a girl who is clever but has no power, join the group. Together they walk the wire between the two organizations while trying to discover what happened to Person1’s father. Maybe eventually realize main character’s dad didn’t die and was only “paused,” and some final confrontation to revive him. They grow to be able to understand the other sides (but not work with them or forgive them). Story7 Genre: Fantasy, Supernatural Overarching plot, though mainly episodic, plot twist near the end Teaser: Person1 loves to visit this old antique shop. In fact, it’s the only thing that really keeps him calm. He is easily angered. Aren't people so horrible to each other, so irritating? When the old lady that runs the shop dies, her grieving husband takes over. One day, while visiting the shop, Person1 accidentally breaks an old mirror and suddenly seems to wake up as a servant to a mysterious master at a beautiful manor. Each day, he witnesses some sort of miracle, either alone or with the other servants. He can’t remember much from her past life while living in this fantasy world, only the occasional déjà vu. Something always seems to feel missing… The old man, a little crazy and blinded by anger, had actually drugged Person1 into a coma because the mirror was his first gift to his wife. The old man, immediately afterwards, regrets and leaves Person1 at the back door of the hospital, where the janitor discovers the body. When he finally comes to, Person1 wants revenge, but through what he learned in that fantasy world, however, Person1 realizes that vengeance isn’t worth it at the end. Story8, Possible title: The (Setting-Up) Art Club Genre: Drama, Romance, School, Comedy, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, could be a little episodic, no particularly large plot twists yet Teaser: Person1 is a normal girl who falls in love with Person2, a friendly, but shy guy that sits next to her. Suddenly, Person2 asks Person1 to help him get together with Person3, a popular girl that everyone seems to love. Luckily, Person1 has an energetic friend (Person 4) with “the greatest idea”: She drags Person1 and Person2 to her art club in which she’s the only member, and uses the art club as a guise for a club to set people up, namely Person2 and Person3. Unfortunately, her ideas for setting people up are about as “great” as her idea of using her club to set people up. Will they succeed through their antics? They actually do succeed in setting up Person2 and Person3, with a lot of drama mixed in, of course. Lots of connections to the past, and resolving old and new conflicts. Story9, Possible title: Chasing [Last name of MC and her mother] Genre: Horror, Psychological, School, Romance Overarching plot, could be a little episodic at beginning, plot twists at the very end Teaser: Person1 is a girl sitting at home with her laptop when she realizes she can hear a mysterious “woosh.” An online forum states that only special people can hear the sound, which is actually the sound of spirits leaving the body after death. Using her newfound ability, she tries to find her dead mother, who disapppeared years ago. She meets a guy with the same ability to help her, and they achieve initial success, but soon she and her friends receive threatening letters from an organization trying to stop her for some reason. Everyone dies, her classmates who ostracize her, the boy; she kills her father in anger, she finds out that her mother developed an extremely dangerous biological weapon and was planning to destroy the world. That’s why the organization was trying to stop her from finding out; she commits suicide after going insane. Story10, Possible title: Heaven Weather Facility Genre: Mystery, Romance, Slice-of-life, Drama Overarching plot, plot twist near the end Teaser: What if you managed to predict a hurricane and someone’s death by accident? Person1 is a girl who did just that, and she regrets it heavily. In order to “atone for her past wrongs,” she decides to study weather and go work for a company called Heaven Weather Facility. HWF is a company that’s supposed to control weather. But something’s off about the whole place and concept of it all… She was the one who died. Her friend on earth is still feeling guilty for her death while alive. He tries to commit suicide, but she saves him at the end. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Extra1 Genre: Comedy, Sci-fi, Parody Very episodic, plot twists are irrelevant because this will be based on randomness It’s common knowledge that if you spend too much time doing something, you become what you do. Person1 spends too much time on Photoshop. He realizes that he can edit his life when he reads a book about telekinesis and manages to try it himself. Not only that, but he can also change colors, stretch objects, etc. The catch is, he can only change whatever he has completely in his view without turning his head. Still, many people pursue him. Imagine the power he has! He could be sent out to space, and he could move entire continents! The race is on to deceive his pursuers. This is quite the joke; it’s really just Person1 cleverly shrugging off his pursuers each time. I don’t even think there’s an overarching story in this one. Full of slapstick endings. Extra2 (Short Story Collection), Possible title: 9 Levels of Insanity) Genre: Psychological Somewhat overarching plot that connects all the stories, which itself is a little surprise This is a collection of nine short stories, with each one crazier than the next as the main character slowly declines into insanity. Or are the conspiracies in the stories real? As the stories will probably be in the format of a manipulative friend telling them to the MC, the overarching plot that connects all the stories will be that the friend actually manages to manipulate enough people to start a real conspiracy that claims to fight a nonexistent conspiracy. |
einonymousNov 24, 2014 2:35 PM
Nov 23, 2014 2:04 PM
#2
I guess I'll just give my comments.. [spoiler] Story 1: This doesn't really make much sense to me. Why would people jump to the idea that they're living in a virtual reality? Also, why use the word "controllers"? In this case, it'd be more like a "god." Story 2: I guess it could be okay provided you have a decent understanding about how to run a business. Story 3: This is a bit tricky. From what I know, it is still a bit unknown whether genes have an influence on personality. This is also a bit far-fetched since it's so specific. Even pretending that this kind of thing could possibly happen, why does the cat die? Why is the son going to die? Why seven years? Why does he get cancer, and how does it make him go back to normal? And people don't die from anxiety. Panic attacks are bad, and they can make people feel as if they're dying, but I don't think people can actual die from it. Chronic anxiety can increase the risk of life-threatening diseases and conditions, but it doesn't actually kill people. Story 4: To be honest, it sounds like it could be way too preachy. If you're going to go the life lesson route, it's better to focus on just one main one without stating anything outright. Story 5: Sounds fine, although it may run the risk of being preachy. Story 6: This reminds me a lot of the Darkest Powers series by Kelley Armstrong. Except with different powers, different characters, and a slightly different kind of organization. Not that it's really a bad thing. Story 7: Fine, but does run the risk of being preachy. Story 8: Not really my thing, but I guess it's fine. Story 9: Sounds like a School Days-esque story. Seemingly normal, but actually messed up. I guess if that's the point, then it's fine. Story 10: Sounds fine. |
Nov 23, 2014 3:02 PM
#3
Nov 23, 2014 7:24 PM
#4
I voted 10, but I think 3 would be fine too (though "he gets cancer and it mutates him back" doesn't sound like a very convincing way to fix his problem). Story 9 makes no sense to me. She can hear the sound of souls leaving their bodies... okay. How is that going to help her find her mother who's already dead? I also don't get why would the organization you mentioned go as far as killing people close to her, just so she wouldn't find out that her mother was a bad person... uh. Unless they ordered her mother to develop the weapon and then killed her. Idk, I think that idea needs some more work. I like the Extra 2, too. |
Nov 23, 2014 7:52 PM
#5
dream_eater1012 said: I guess I'll just give my comments.. Story 1: This doesn't really make much sense to me. Why would people jump to the idea that they're living in a virtual reality? Also, why use the word "controllers"? In this case, it'd be more like a "god." Story 3: This is a bit tricky. From what I know, it is still a bit unknown whether genes have an influence on personality. This is also a bit far-fetched since it's so specific. Even pretending that this kind of thing could possibly happen, why does the cat die? Why is the son going to die? Why seven years? Why does he get cancer, and how does it make him go back to normal? And people don't die from anxiety. Panic attacks are bad, and they can make people feel as if they're dying, but I don't think people can actual die from it. Chronic anxiety can increase the risk of life-threatening diseases and conditions, but it doesn't actually kill people. Thanks for the comments and tips. I'll keep them in mind if I happen to write about one of those stories. I can actually answer your questions for Story 1 and 3 (I didn't have space to put details in the teaser, but I do have explanations in my personal notes). Story 1: The idea of living in a virtual reality had been floating around for a while now, but no one really believed it. After all, they have been developing video games that come close to complete virtual reality, and it seems strange that everything in the world works out so evenly. So the idea that everyone got moved into a virtual reality long ago comes slowly, but suddenly gains popular support when the murder occurs. Story 3: In this world (in which people can develop such advanced drugs that precise gene modification is possible), people can also measure the length of telomeres. The drug shortens the length of telomeres because the drug causes the body to replace all its cells (after all, that's the only way the new DNA can spread). Since the cat dies 3 years after receiving the drug, the human dies 10 years after receiving the drug (I did this by a rough comparison of life-spans. A cat lives around 20 years, a human lives around 70.) Thus, 7 years left. Honestly, though, the mother is going to try and "fix" her son back, and it shortens his telomeres even more, to two years left. Since cancer is a collection of quickly and wildly dividing cells containing new DNA, in an already mutated body, a roughly original DNA would register as cancer. And the telomeres thing should work, since cancer cells often escape death by making more telomerase enzyme. Haha, and of course, when I say "die from anxiety" I mean to grow weak from stress then die from a heart attack, or something. Of course, I am no professional scientist, and my explanations are only rough estimates based on my understanding. However, as my audience hopefully isn't full of cancer researchers, my understanding, and some extra research, should be enough to twist up a sci-fi story. |
Nov 23, 2014 8:06 PM
#6
Kalypze said: I voted 10, but I think 3 would be fine too (though "he gets cancer and it mutates him back" doesn't sound like a very convincing way to fix his problem). Story 9 makes no sense to me. She can hear the sound of souls leaving their bodies... okay. How is that going to help her find her mother who's already dead? I also don't get why would the organization you mentioned go as far as killing people close to her, just so she wouldn't find out that her mother was a bad person... uh. Unless they ordered her mother to develop the weapon and then killed her. Idk, I think that idea needs some more work. Haha, if you think my solution to number 3 is deus ex machina, I guess I've got nothing to answer here except to say that the solution to The War of the Worlds was pretty random, too. However, I did offer a more technical rationalization above if you wanted that. You make a good point about number 9, though. Who would go to such an extent? I do want the organization to be a collection of good people so I can't have your solution. There's probably a solution out there... maybe the organization comprises of her long lost relatives (family would care about her!), or maybe she is in some way crucial to the better future of the world (a mysterious prophecy or something they have to follow). Or maybe they were once friends with the mother (who is evil but did care for her daughter a lot), and the mother had left her trusted friends with the note to never let anything happen to her daughter, and never let her find out about her work, no matter what. Yeah, that'll probably be interesting, since it would bring up the idea of whether final and absolute instructions should always be followed, even if they unintentionally end up causing more harm. As for your first question on number 9, perhaps I should have put in the teaser that the closer she is to the dead body, the louder the"woosh," and the "woosh" gets quieter over time. By finding other spirits, communicating with them (through conventional methods like ouija board, etc), and tracing her mother's own sound, she can narrow in on her mother's body. Souls take 10 years to leave the body, leaving "loudly" at first, then traces of them keep disseminating. Sort of like radiation, I guess. |
Nov 23, 2014 8:08 PM
#7
Nov 23, 2014 8:29 PM
#8
einonymous said: Story 1: The idea of living in a virtual reality had been floating around for a while now, but no one really believed it. After all, they have been developing video games that come close to complete virtual reality, and it seems strange that everything in the world works out so evenly. So the idea that everyone got moved into a virtual reality long ago comes slowly, but suddenly gains popular support when the murder occurs. How is it strange for everything to be even? Something is strange only when it's different from what's considered "normal." But if people grow up in that kind of environment, they don't know anything different. That kind of thing is normal. Sure, it's strange from the perspective of what we know, but that's because it's something that's different from what we consider normal. And how does the murder make people think it's a virtual reality? Why do people connect the two together? |
Nov 23, 2014 8:37 PM
#9
einonymous said: As for your first question on number 9, perhaps I should have put in the teaser that the closer she is to the dead body, the louder the"woosh," and the "woosh" gets quieter over time. By finding other spirits, communicating with them (through conventional methods like ouija board, etc), and tracing her mother's own sound, she can narrow in on her mother's body. Souls take 10 years to leave the body, leaving "loudly" at first, then traces of them keep disseminating. Sort of like radiation, I guess. That makes more sense. I think it'd be good if you added that to the teaser. Maybe the mother's spirit (if she does find her at some point) could try to manipulate her daughter into finishing/activating the biological weapon, and the organization just wants to avoid that at all costs. Afterall, a couple (or a dozen) lives are nothing compared to the millions that could die because of the weapon. And you could add the part about the note, to justify not killing the girl off instead of all the other people. |
Nov 23, 2014 9:40 PM
#10
There are some interesting ideas, but I think 2 seems to have the most potential to have an interesting and solid plot. There are some rather silly plot twists (I feel), like story 10. Story 3 is also definitely a deus ex machina, but that doesn't mean it won't have the potential to be good. Lord of the flies also has a deus ex machina but it doesn't mean the novel itself wasn't interesting. |
Nov 23, 2014 10:23 PM
#11
3 mate, virus' are in now; just look at Ebola's popularity in Africa. |
Shoryu said: Aureolus Life-enhancing-body-suits are good and all, but they can't protect you against the void. Shoryu said: Become a friend of Blahkabelison, they're a female. Hopefully a better quote in the near future |
Nov 24, 2014 12:24 AM
#12
Personally, I feel that the first and fifth have the most promise. The ideas certainly sound like they need some tweaking but they could be something special if treated properly. |
Nov 24, 2014 2:32 AM
#13
Nov 24, 2014 2:57 AM
#14
Story 6 I like the superpower thing, but i don't like the generic rpg party roster. Person1 (and probably together with his partner) against the world would be great. |
Nov 24, 2014 6:46 AM
#15
I like idea 10. |
Nov 24, 2014 10:08 AM
#16
I like most of the ideas, but I ended up voting for #3 |
Nov 24, 2014 10:56 AM
#17
I couldn't decide between 2 and 4, but I voted 2 in the end. I also want to point out that 6 seems to be a good idea but... not my cup of tea Dx Okay, so I read all the storys WITH the spoilers so Im going to put all my quick thoughts into a spoiler tag 1: I can't feel a climax because of the end Oo It just sounds like... they were fighting and in the end they just give up... But the idea itself is not bad 2: This was one of my favourite ones :D The idea is good and I think that if you used comedy and mistery "equaliy" that this could end up being really good. (I really dont know how to describe this, sorry TT_TT but you know, when in one scene the readers are laughing and in the next scene they cant breath because of excitement.) 3: I dont think that this would fit a long novel. 4: this was my second favourite because of the same reasons as 2 :D If drama and comedy were used in equal amount this story would be just great. 5: Personally I like this kind of stuff but I dont think that it would fit a long novel D: 6: this story would be great for a long-running novel and also has an exciting plot. But it seems to be a harem, that's why I wouldn't read it TT_TT 7: at first it doesn't look like something too exciting, however the plottwist/ the end is great. 8:sounds like a great story for Shoujo but it doesnt fit for a long novel as well imo 9: Seems boring at first but the plottwist is good. 10: I doesnt make much sense to me Oo Like, how did the MC get employed if she is already dead? And also sounds like sixth sense extra 1: Is too random for me Oo extra 2: sounds interesting but it really depends on the stories that will be told |
Nov 24, 2014 12:39 PM
#18
I like horror so I went with number 9. I recommend reading some Stephen King novels if you want to nail the horror on the head. Suspense and tension are what you need as well along with some detailed disturbing imagery. Maybe title it "Art of Fear" to justify that it's a horror, but don't make it too campy unless that's what your looking for. I dunno... That's all I can suggest I'm afraid. I'm still having trouble with composing a good enough story for my screenplay. |
Nov 24, 2014 1:40 PM
#19
dream_eater1012 said: einonymous said: Story 1: The idea of living in a virtual reality had been floating around for a while now, but no one really believed it. After all, they have been developing video games that come close to complete virtual reality, and it seems strange that everything in the world works out so evenly. So the idea that everyone got moved into a virtual reality long ago comes slowly, but suddenly gains popular support when the murder occurs. How is it strange for everything to be even? Something is strange only when it's different from what's considered "normal." But if people grow up in that kind of environment, they don't know anything different. That kind of thing is normal. Sure, it's strange from the perspective of what we know, but that's because it's something that's different from what we consider normal. And how does the murder make people think it's a virtual reality? Why do people connect the two together? I'll answer the murder question because it's easier. Obviously, the controllers (if there are any) can really only instigate events, but they cannot control the feelings of the people in that reality. Since murder isn't some random event, but directly caused by some person, and since murder happens to end someone's life, making the controllers unable to make it up to the person later by some lucky event, murder is really the only thing that can't be evened out. For example, if someone punched someone in the face one day, the next day the victim will win a new radio at a raffle or something. Meanwhile, if the person is dead, there's no way to even the balance of happiness. However, luckily, murders are usually done in private, so no one would know about it. Usually, when a murder occurs, the body just disappears before anyone can find out, and when no one's looking (except, if these people exist, people dispatched to remove the body). But either way, it's kept a complete secret that killing another person is even an option. When a murder occurs in public, too many people see it, too many people to be disposed of. Thus, people realize that it's weird that more irregularities don't occur (for example, why does the person I punch get to win a raffle the next day, while the people that are killed, just get killed?). People start listening to the crazy rumors that have been floating around for a while. I guess that also resolves the first issue automatically, since it's the murder that makes the general population realize an abnormality. |
Nov 24, 2014 2:32 PM
#20
Ok, a whole pile of responses to questions/explanations/comments on your comments. Kalypze said: einonymous said: As for your first question on number 9, perhaps I should have put in the teaser that the closer she is to the dead body, the louder the"woosh," and the "woosh" gets quieter over time. By finding other spirits, communicating with them (through conventional methods like ouija board, etc), and tracing her mother's own sound, she can narrow in on her mother's body. Souls take 10 years to leave the body, leaving "loudly" at first, then traces of them keep disseminating. Sort of like radiation, I guess. That makes more sense. I think it'd be good if you added that to the teaser. Maybe the mother's spirit (if she does find her at some point) could try to manipulate her daughter into finishing/activating the biological weapon, and the organization just wants to avoid that at all costs. Afterall, a couple (or a dozen) lives are nothing compared to the millions that could die because of the weapon. And you could add the part about the note, to justify not killing the girl off instead of all the other people. Interesting. But I do want the mother to care a lot about her daughter, despite having a messed-up view of the world. Though, I guess the mother could've met a lot of trouble along the way of developing the weapon, so doesn't want her daughter to get into the mess, so doesn't want her daughter to find out about her work. However, she can't control her spirit once dead, so she was afraid that her pure spirit would try to manipulate her daughter to distribute the weapon without care for her safety. Nah, that doesn't work. I don't think I can add that simply because the mother doesn't know about the spirit thing. Oh, but the mother succeeded anyway, by the way. The daughter was too late to talk to her in my original plan (it was more than 10 years after her mother's death, there was no more spirit left). But the mother will leave the note to her trusted friends (who didn't know about her work before, of course), right before death, confessing to developing the weapon, regretting that she had failed, but not wanting to get anyone else involved. The friends, moved, still vow to follow her last words, no matter what. They form an organization for the sake of "protecting" the daughter. PerfectScore said: Story3 - The plot sounds very generic looking at it face value, but I see you labelled this as a psychological plot. If I could think of a few ways to improve this, you might want to make the mother go from this tired gullible abusive/anxious person to one who takes things to very desperate measures, outlining her insanity for solutions. I guess I'm thinking of the story revolving around the mom trying to save her child, comes to realization that she's messed up, tries to change but her decisions while different are just as irrational, and etc. Unfortunately, it's difficult to relate to, but I like the possibilities you have with playing around with her psyche. Story8 - School Days + Toradora. I think this idea might be a lot of fun for for a light novel setting if that is what you are looking for, unless you change the genre to psychological. Teenage drama while fun to listen from others is daunting with the risk of losing a friend. My uncle lost his best friend because his friend "accidentally" started to date his love interest, and they got in a fight. Gossip and insecurity is also not easy to deal with. Maybe it's because I'm feeling this because I've watched a lot of rom-com anime and am not a fan of this idea, and I'm pretty sure a shoujo has covered this type of idea, but I'm definitely siding with the idea of a well-written School Days with more focus on realistic drama over comedy. If you want some high school drama, I have plenty I would love to share. Extra2 - First thing that comes to mind is the Cuil Theory. Story3- Yeah, that was what I was thinking. The story would focus on the mother's POV and her panic and anxiety as her son is dying_ because of her. Story8- That's an interesting take... there will be drama (probably enough to be almost a tearjerker), but I'm not sure if I can spin their feelings so that it's practically a psychological story. Though I haven't watched School Days... a lot of people have been telling me that my stories remind them of School Days. Maybe I should see that anime to understand what people mean, better. In fact, you make a lot of references that I should look up. But then again, I don't want to be influenced... so maybe I shouldn't look them up. Extra2- Haha, that's almost exactly what I was thinking. Except with 9 levels, mine will progress far slower than the Cuil Theory in the video, and I wasn't ever planning on achieving the video's level of craziness. I don't want to get so insane that the stories become completely meaningless or too confusing (except maybe for the last one... it wouldn't matter how crazy it is, by then). KuroyukiH said: 10: I doesnt make much sense to me Oo Like, how did the MC get employed if she is already dead? And also sounds like sixth sense I probably should've mentioned this in the "spoiler" for this story, but humans in the story don't yet actually have the power to control weather. She literally works for God in the Heaven Weather Facility, which is the department that controls weather on Heaven. |
Nov 24, 2014 2:38 PM
#21
einonymous said: I'll answer the murder question because it's easier. Obviously, the controllers (if there are any) can really only instigate events, but they cannot control the feelings of the people in that reality. Since murder isn't some random event, but directly caused by some person, and since murder happens to end someone's life, making the controllers unable to make it up to the person later by some lucky event, murder is really the only thing that can't be evened out. For example, if someone punched someone in the face one day, the next day the victim will win a new radio at a raffle or something. Meanwhile, if the person is dead, there's no way to even the balance of happiness. However, luckily, murders are usually done in private, so no one would know about it. Usually, when a murder occurs, the body just disappears before anyone can find out, and when no one's looking (except, if these people exist, people dispatched to remove the body). But either way, it's kept a complete secret that killing another person is even an option. When a murder occurs in public, too many people see it, too many people to be disposed of. Thus, people realize that it's weird that more irregularities don't occur (for example, why does the person I punch get to win a raffle the next day, while the people that are killed, just get killed?). People start listening to the crazy rumors that have been floating around for a while. I guess that also resolves the first issue automatically, since it's the murder that makes the general population realize an abnormality. But in that situation, it'd be more likely for the population to think that the murder is the abnormality than themselves being the abnormal ones. Also, how do these rumors originate? Why did people even start to think about this virtual reality in the first place? It's quite a big jump to go from "virtual reality can exist for games, so maybe our whole existence is a virtual reality." |
Nov 24, 2014 3:52 PM
#22
I gotta' say story #1, #3,#5, #10 and Extra #1 all sound interesting. I'm gonna vote for... #10. It'd be nice to see an adult woman MC in a mystery series. |
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." ⛩️ |
Nov 24, 2014 6:07 PM
#23
Here are my comments as promised! Fair warning, I didn't open the spoiler tags for individual stories as I want to read this should you complete your work! Story1 Genre: Military, Utopia/Dystopia Overarching plot, no particularly large plot twists yet Comments: I feel the thought process behind this isn't completely fleshed out yet, that or it wasn't expressed well enough. Why is a murder the pivotal point of this belief? How does this belief system operate? (I.E are they in a real life setting with some radical beliefs? Or are they in a fictional world where there are certain fixed parameters like pain, happiness, etc and the stagnation leads them to believe that life itself is somewhat a controlled environment?) To be honest, it sounds like it could be extremely exciting or extremely boring, depending on the writing style and the plot twists. Another problem i forsee with this plot is the inherent lack of a "good guy", which is to say that B is forced along with their plans, and the organization are terrorist in nature, but there's no real savior introduced to provide an opposition to these 'terrorists'? If so, I think that should be somewhat introduced briefly as well. Since you listed this as 'military', I would actually have thought that instead of 'B being forced to follow their plans', I would have read something along the lines of 'B is forced to cooperate with a special squad of soldiers, each with their unique talents in order to rescue his / her sibling, only to discover the terrifying ideology of the XO organization' and expound upon their radicalized ideas as the novel progresses and how it affects their actions? tl;dr : The idea is there, but i think it needs a little tweaking to become complete. Story2 Genre: Business, Comedy, Drama, Mystery, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, could be a little episodic, no particularly large plot twists yet Comments: I feel this is somewhat out of an anime-ish kind of plot. While I do enjoy anime on the subject, I'm not sure I'd enjoy reading too much of it. Without illustrations, business and intellectual type stories (i.e Liar Game, NGNL, Death Note) can be extremely hard to follow. Of course, this is just one of the difficulties, but it may not apply to your writing style for all I know. Another thing to note should you pursue this one is whether to focus more on the personal angle: I.E the characters' pasts and relationships, as you mentioned tension and mysterious pasts, or the business angle (As it ultimately is about running a store). I feel that putting emphasis on one will inadvertently take away a little from the other, as personal issues and business are often somewhat separate "common phrase: It's nothing personal, just good business" tl;dr : It would be good if you can explain it well enough. If you can't, though, I'd see this as a reasonable idea for an anime-ish work, but not really a novel. Story3 Genre: Sci-fi, Drama, Psychological Overarching plot, plot twist at the very end When a new gene-editing drug works on the family cat, an exhausted mother decides to try it on her own delinquent son. It starts to work as well: The son studies harder and begins to voice his aspirations. However, three years later, the cat dies, and the mother frantically takes her son to the hospital for a medical analysis. The son only has seven years left to live. Is there some way out? Or, at least, some way to deal with the dread? Comments: I accidentally read the spoiler. Oops. I don't think that's a good twist at all, with all due respect. If you intend to pursue this story, you should understand biology to an extent, and the twist sounds rather... well.. stupid. For starters, a cat lives for around ~12-15 years, and considering it's a family cat, I would say it's been around for at least 5-10 years (not a kitten)? for it to die 3 years of old age wouldn't be strange. Even if it wasn't particularly old, there's no reason to suspect it's the genetic drug. Not to mention that there are questions which unavoidably arise from the situation, such as. How does the drug even alter his personality that drastically? Genetics are one thing, but psychological state of mind is often less to do with nature and more to do with nature. How does the drug cause cancer? Cancer is caused by cells mutating extensively and failing to undergo apoptosis, then proliferating, to my knowledge, and considering the life span of most cells, 10 years is kind of a stretch, not to mention that while healthy cells may mutate to become cancerous, the reverse is not true (you can't really mutate cancer cells to become healthy), as it would require every single cancer cell to simultaneously revert to have a healthy genetic code. Even if you can explain that, how does one seemingly random lady with a troubled background get a hold of something that ground-breaking in genetics? Doesn't really add up I feel. tl;dr, too many questions and I don't think you understand the subject matter enough to write a detailed story on it. Just skip this story, IMO Story4 Genre: School, Drama, Comedy, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, could be a little episodic, no particularly large plot twists yet Comments: I personally do not like this brand of school-life drama, I feel they would, like story 2, be best represented and left to an anime representation. As you can see by the votes, this sentiment is probably mirrored (looking at the voting results for stories 4, 5 and 8) However, it is not a bad plot at all and my preference of the story's form is purely personal taste. I don't think there's anything much to be said, since school-life types aren't really plot intensive but rather stresses on characters and relationships. tl;dr : These stories aren't plot intensive, depends more on your skill in crafting characters and relationships, so all's good! Story5 Genre: Drama, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, large event at the end, though not really a twist Similar comments to Story 4 Story6 Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Super Powers Overarching plot, hopefully plot twist at end (though I still have to come up with one) Comments: Promising plot which leaves room for exploration of both the big plot points as well as the characters. I would say it's probably potentially more well-rounded. You also seem to have the character personalities more or less fleshed out in comparison with the other stories, which leads me to believe that you probably put more thought / interest into this one, which would make it preferable for you to try this one as well. For the ideas of the plot twists, there are a few questions which could lead in to that. Namely: why is person 5 helping them? (he has no powers) Has person 3 manipulated any of the group's memories? What is 1's power? All are good questions which can hold suspense a fair bit, esp if you sprinkle hints that 5 and 3 may act a little suspicious - even if they ultimately turn out to mean no harm. I can see the plot twist being somewhat to do with ideology, where science and magic intersect and the conflict between both groups and perhaps a dark twist? The scientific organisations have been using magicians to further scientific developments by dissecting their bodies for analysis, hence abducting unwary magicians in the city. Something like that? I have a name for you as well: "The Disappearing Act", this came to mind since it's about the dad's disappearance and they're trying to piece it out, and they call themselves magicians. tl;dr : Probably the story I support the most due to its potential and well-roundedness. Listed a couple suggestions as well. Story7 Genre: Fantasy, Supernatural Overarching plot, though mainly episodic, plot twist near the end Comments: It's a fair enough premise, I suppose, but if it's episodic on a specific daily cycle, I foresee that it may get boring to write and boring to the reader. It will seem halfway through that you're grasping at straws to fill these 'daily miracles', that or the 'miracles' seem really mundane. The reverse may be true and they seem wholly unrealistic instead. That being said, you need to consider how this ties in with his initial personality and how that influences it. And the old man should also be explained to an extent I suppose. tl;dr : The concept might backfire on you. Story8, Possible title: The (Setting-Up) Art Club Genre: Drama, Romance, School, Comedy, Slice-of-life Overarching plot, could be a little episodic, no particularly large plot twists yet Comments: Same as stories 4 and 5 Story9, Possible title: Chasing [Last name of MC and her mother] Genre: Horror, Psychological, School, Romance Overarching plot, could be a little episodic at beginning, plot twists at the very end Comments: Sounds awesome. I love the mystery feel, but i don't really understand the horror aspect of it yet, neither do I see the significance of their last name being Chasing, though I suppose that can be explained through the course of the story. Personally, the part I'm a little doubtful about is how to transition that into romance, as you listed. However, I like this story, though I feel that instead of a 'whoosh' sound which comes off a little cartoony, it could be a little more spine chilling? Like she feels cold breath on her neck and hears a whisper she can't understand? Just my 2 cents worth. tl;dr: sounds great! Perhaps change the 'whoosh' sound though. Story10, Possible title: Heaven Weather Facility Genre: Mystery, Romance, Slice-of-life, Drama Overarching plot, plot twist near the end Comments: It could be great if done right. I really like that plot twist (I accidentally opened the spoiler, again), though I must say that I don't feel it really connects. The disparity between her own memories / death and her friend's is kind of an area which needs alot of explanation or hints. I wouldn't see how predicting a hurricane and then a friend's death would spiral you into guilt either since neither are within personal control. That supernatural prediction aspect of it, based on the teaser, also has no real impact on the direction of the story. Hence maybe alter the circumstances behind the story? tl;dr : Good idea, good twist, but needs work on connecting the dots. |
Nov 24, 2014 7:06 PM
#24
I voted for story 10. I would have voted for 7, but I don't like the ending. I wish it would stay fantasy rather than having a huge twist at the end. The anime world needs more good fantasy settings. |
Nov 24, 2014 9:54 PM
#25
I was kind of stuck between Heaven Wather Facility and Story 9 because omg i really wanna see both of them become full stories! but i think i had the most fun when we were talking about the ghost girl story xD so i voted for that one and since i also already pretty much know what would happen anyway and im really excited lol ^.^ |
Nov 25, 2014 12:38 PM
#27
I feel like Story 2 has the potential to be truly "slice of life" while also letting the reader who has no interest in the genre get through it with some mystery thrown in. Extra 2 sounds really awesome, but the execution is what matters most at the end of the day. |
Nov 27, 2014 4:39 AM
#28
It's hard to choose in my honest opinion. But for me, #7 is slightly more interesting. Though I have to question some things, like, if the mirror had that much significance to the old couple, maybe it wouldn't be in the shop itself, but maybe a back room which the protagonist could stumble upon or something. And the manner in which it seemed like you intended for the old man to drug the main character may be too abrupt, unless you omitted something from the synopsis. (Maybe the MC apologizes and wants to pay, the old man however refuses with a smile, then has 'tea' ready for him the next time he comes there :P ) I think it would be better if he knocked him out on the spot pretty much right after the incident with a blunt object. That way, from the protagonists perspective, the last thing he would see pre-coma would be the cracked mirror, and then it would transition straight into the dreaming, which means the whole thing could be played as if the main character (and thus the reader) assumes he simply got sucked into the mirror, only for the real reason to be revealed later. Was fun reading your synopses :] |
Nov 30, 2014 9:20 PM
#29
Story 4 sounds amazing!!! (><) |
Dec 1, 2014 12:18 PM
#30
Read all of your ideas. Lots of efforts and thoughts put into these, good work. Voted for story 1. I'm a big fan of dystopia series and this sounds right up my alley. I would prefer if the ending was more explosive and not to remain the status-quo. Extra 1. |
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Dec 4, 2014 12:30 AM
#32
I couldnt decide between story 2,5,6,9 and extra 2. Prolly 2 it does have potential like what someone said. But I'm leaning more towards extra 2 since I enjoy a darker and angst story. Anyway some of them do sound cliche but I dont mind at all. |
The higher I get , The lower I'll sink. |
Dec 6, 2014 4:50 PM
#33
Between 6, 9, and 10 for me. 6 sounds interesting as long as the team's dynamic is a focus. I liked 9 more after reading Kalypse's suggestions on the mother's spirit guiding her towards executing her will, I think that would allow you really to dig into MC and her feelings and eventual closure towards her mother. Though I'd suggest maybe introducing the organization and the whole biological weapon premise somewhat simultaneously with the "Spirit Whispering" premise and adding depth/focus to both sides along the way so that one of the two don't end up feeling plot devicey throughout the story. In the end I went with 10 because I think it has the most potential for payoff with its twist. The whole dynamics behind it and the prediction:guilt aspect needs more tweaking/fleshing out for me to be able to connect the dots but I can definitely get behind the whole idea of being apart of the Weather Facility and the build up to realizing the truth behind it. Only thing is you'd really have to throw a lot at the reader to keep them from figuring the twist out before you make the reveal or put the writing on the walls for a gradual reveal that sets in over time with the reader and the MC. Either of those three I would most likely end up reading though, along with 1, 3, and 7 out of interest in the concepts. |
Dec 11, 2014 8:22 AM
#34
Dec 11, 2014 10:44 AM
#35
Dec 15, 2014 8:22 PM
#36
Focusing more on number 10 (though not closing the poll because I need to determine an order, anyway, and it's fun/helpful watching votes/more comments come in): FadeFrost said: It could be great if done right. I really like that plot twist (I accidentally opened the spoiler, again), though I must say that I don't feel it really connects. The disparity between her own memories / death and her friend's is kind of an area which needs alot of explanation or hints. I wouldn't see how predicting a hurricane and then a friend's death would spiral you into guilt either since neither are within personal control. That supernatural prediction aspect of it, based on the teaser, also has no real impact on the direction of the story. Hence maybe alter the circumstances behind the story? I feel like a lot of people would feel guilt about something out of their own control. For example, she even thought that it would happen (even if it were jokingly, the thought passed her mind), so why didn't she meet her friend to go over to her house like they planned? (He could be her childhood friend. She could've decided to do something else instead, or maybe she ended up being too nervous since her house was small or something, and she had always been embarrassed by it, so even as kids, she played at his house. She'll feel guilt because she left her friend outside waiting right before he "died." Her only friend, because she doesn't feel like she needs any more friends/doesn't make friends very easily. She could run out during the storm trying to meet her friend. Then that would also make the friend that almost got killed guilty, because they were talking about the prediction earlier he knew she died because she was running out into the storm for him. He regrets not calling off the meeting, knowing she was nervous about her house.) Phew, there. That was a tough one. As for the supernatural aspect, it's not really supernatural. She isn't really psychic, but of course the event is going to stir her enough that she'll shut herself away until she arrives at HWF and try not to make any offhand predictions lest something like that happens again. Or maybe I could have a flashback chapter in which she and her friend were young, and they had made a tiny offhand prediction that came true (though they're both actually coincidences, which she finds out after she gets stronger and tries to use the predictive ability as a power). (For example, she could point to a branch with a nest on it and say, "Wouldn't it be weird if a cat jumped into that tree and knocked the eggs off the tree so that they broke?" An the next day they could find that the eggs were on the ground, all cracked. It would be like confirmation bias; once the hurricane happens, she finds evidence.) I have to play it that she doesn't originally have many friends because I can't have her realize that her companions aren't her old classmates. Though she won't really look carefully either, having shut herself off from the world afterwards as well. |
Dec 21, 2014 3:04 AM
#37
Jan 15, 2015 10:14 PM
#38
I saw this on someone's comment section, I decided to check it out! :3 i voted for 10! plot twists 4 lyfe |
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