Reviews

Aug 3, 2024
FunnyFunny
Preliminary (5/12 eps)
Forget enjoyment, forget good writing, THIS is real cinema.

Fuck the Godfather. Our protagonist is both a God and a father (yet to be seen, however evidence shows that his sigma rizz will undoubtedly obtain a multitude of fitting bachelorettes(with big tits for sure)).

Touka is HIM. He might've been thrown around and insulted for about 74 seconds of total screen time with no previous development to be seen other than his dad striking him once or twice (based child abuser?)but he's just like me for real. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH IM RELAAAAATIIINNGG!!!

WUOOOOHHH!!! I'M ABOUT TO RELAAAATEEEE!!!

To hell with development, to hell with stakes and writing, PARALYZE, PARALYZE, PARALYZE.

It doesn't matter what may come at him. our protagonist shall perservere through it all.

Graduation test? PARALYZE.
Parental neglect? SLEEP(good nights rest cures depression(refer to 1st google search result)).
Got a girl pregnant on accident? PARALYZE. POISON.

"Honey, I think you sh-" PARALYZE. "Touka, this has to sto-" PARALYZE.

If you've read or watched any portion of a certain work known as berserk, you'll soon come to realize that the little boy who calls himself the "black swordsman"(cute name keep crying about your lobotomite bi-racial girlfriend lol) is just a wet towel compared to our great Rizzka Hawktuemy.

His rizz is so powerful, that regardless of race, gender or any sort of upbringing(very inclusive) he's able to enchant them to a state of pure adoration. A state in which their only ability is to gawk at his righteous visage.

Naturally, a story as compelling as this demands a villain of equivalent quality. Enter, Twitteria - albino mental illness incarnate. Even though his rizz stands tall above all else, Rizzka is unable to enchant the mind of a demented twitter user. Her inability to relate to human emotions leaves Rizzka at a severe disadvantage. Because of this, Rizzka is left without options and gets his post ratio'd into a dungeon where has has to fight off creatures with no regard for the sanctity of life - the crude and hideously malformed barbarian population of the Balkans.

I'll leave it at this in order to avoid the pure KINO that is Hazurewaku no "Joutai Ijou Skill" de Saikyou ni Natta Ore ga Subete wo Juurin suru made.

This review was sponsored by The Schizophrenia Research Foundation.

Paralyze. Paralyze. Paralyze.
Reviewer’s Rating: 3
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