I can't quite remember why I decided to watch Hyouka in the first place, but I believe I'd watched a couple of intense series in a row, and I felt something nice and normal would do me good. Like therapy, you know? Now I doubt I'll ever find a therapist who's skilled enough to make me forget the immense torture that I went through while watching Hyouka. The experience has left me scarred for life, and I will forever deem it as the ultimate test that made me become, in all sense but actual age, an Adult, as I can see no hardship that can be as challenging as completing all 22 (23 when you count an extra episode/special/OVA which we will talk about later) of Hyouka without losing your sanity in the process.
I will say again that this review is entirely based on my opinion, and mine alone, and you are entitled to your opinions. My hating Hyouka doesn't in any way make it bad, for god's sake, it has a great rating on here which speaks volumes about its virtue.
Now that we're past the disclaimers, I'll get into the good part.
Story (2/10)
The entire storyline of Hyouka exists to prove that our MC Oreki can solve every single mystery he's presented with when he puts his mind to it. He lacks motivation and therefore requires a driving factor to decide basically anything (trust me the driving factor we're talking about REALLY drives our MC whether he likes it or not, keeps driving past his home, keeps driving until it dives off a cliff and leaves all that is good and holy in smoke and ashes).
In the first episode, we're led to believe that there is a big mystery involving the origins of the MC's school's classic lit club and the name Hyouka. Now, excuse me for being genuinely interested in the first couple of episodes when I was blissfully unaware of the disaster that would gradually unfold. Not only is the big ass 'mystery' done and dusted in the first five episodes, they keep coming up with the worst Dora the Explorer level mysteries anyone could think of. I kept thinking why they named the show after something that is important for only the first few episodes. I see some reviews terming the mysteries as 'thought provoking', which I swear to the Almighty, I have no idea which mystery they're talking about. If you were to try solving one of these things, you'd probably arrive at a more impressive conclusion than what is actually depicted.
There is little to no plot development, and the story flatlines when the episode count is yet to reach double digits. In a desperate attempt to save the storyline that is already so dead it can probably partake in your ouija board escapades, the creators try to incorporate some last-minute romance into the picture that miserably fails to evoke any emotion whatsoever.
I almost dropped it while watching the special/OVA which is supposed to be some sort of segue into the second half of the series. Everything was fine (as fine as it could be, which is not very much, so to speak) until they introduced the mystery which was so trivial I was surprised I could think straight after the characters were done explaining it. Even then, I pushed through, but when Oreki gave an explanation for what happened, my patience went up in flames.
The backgrounds of Chitanda's uncle and Oreki's rather mysterious sister were never explored, something I had hoped would be explained in the later episodes.
Characters (1/10)
Our MC Oreki is a lazy ass guy who conveniently calls evading tasks 'conserving energy'. He's so concerned about energy he doesn't even bother with facial expressions or pleasantries. But be prepared to have your minds blown, for he has the uncanny ability to read into every fucking matter whatsoever, regardless of how insignificant or trivial it is. His character undergoes little development throughout the series, and every little step forward is nullified by two huge steps backward.
But here's overlooking the fact that he refuses to get involved in solving a mystery unless he's badgered to death by the one and only Chitanda, who at first seems like a cute character who exists to be the source of motivation for the MC. But be prepared to have your minds blown again, because Chitanda will ask you for your patience and flush it down the drain the first chance she gets. Never have I ever come across a character so supremely annoying, anime or otherwise, that I've wanted to personally pummel her until she's paralysed in every joint. She is mostly seen breathing down Oreki's neck, telling him to solve a piss poor mystery which would've had no unprecedented outcome if it had been left unsolved but no, she's curious and Oreki has to solve it because apparently she's unable to deal with her own problems. She only introduces problems, recites her catchphrase, "I'm curious!" (I can't explain how much I prayed that I wouldn't have to hear that awful phrase whenever a mystery sprang up) and contributes absolutely nothing to the actual solving. Oh she is sweet, make no mistake, but her sweetness is of the cloying kind that makes you scared to be within a five feet radius of anything that has any sugar in it.
Fukube is overly enthusiastic, occasionally envious of Oreki's abilities, and as I like to say, too much work.
The only thing worth mentioning about Ibara is how hard she tried to be a tsundere.
Art (9/10)
Ah, finally something about this show I can appreciate. The art is tasteful and easy on the eyes, and the detail to the tiniest things makes it a truly beautiful show, if only visually. The animation is smooth and the character design is flawless. The amount of detail on the eyes of every character is breathtaking. All this work is wasted on a show as flat and shallow as Hyouka.
Sound (5/10)
The sound is pretty average, the voice acting is normal, nothing special. I started hating Chitanda's voice at some point (probably because of the dreadful "I'm curious!") but apart from that, there's nothing that particularly stood out. Even the openings and endings are average, I don't remember any track that's worth mentioning.
Enjoyment (1/10)
I'm sorry, what enjoyment?
TL; DR
Unless you enjoy giving yourself a hard time, or want to see for yourself how much of a masterpiece Hyouka is, I suggest you avoid this series like the plague. Understand that this show is more slice of life than mystery and even there it does a miserable job. If you despise spineless annoying characters who refuse to solve their own problems, then stay right the fuck away.
Long story short, this show sucks so bad it's the anime equivalent of Friday by Rebecca Black – it doesn't seem that bad before you try it, but sadly, when you do try it, it turns out to be worse.
This was Hyouka - You Can't Escape. Don't say I didn't warn you.
