Story 7/10
Woah where do I begin? What the hell just happened? What the hell is this? What the hell am I saying what the hell for?(It’s actually Why the hell but I didn’t want to combo break) Now usually when I review a series I just look at the synopsis edit it a bit(plagiarize) and add my own personal finesse to why I think it was awesome. Well, that’s just it the story of Angel Beats was not awesome. From what I understood it involves teenagers who got sent to heaven and await reincarnation? (Sorry I put a question mark, I don’t know where the hell they got sent, but thankfully neither does Jun Maeda.) Yes, here in this random dimension they get to temporarily experience the teenage fun they never had while they were still alive. (Just like Disney land without all the rodents!) I don’t know about you, but I felt they missed out several integral parts of enjoying a complete teenage life. Where were the drugs, gang violence and sluts (debatable presence)? You know the type of stuff that makes Hollywood orgasm dollars. But heh I guess to people in Japan being a teenager means playing baseball and just overall finding new ways to be a douchebag to everyone, and then growing up to buy used panties from dispensable machines, animating H-material and taking opium(or paint thinners) and then going to Roppongi for a Hot Saturday Night. But enough of my rambling we didn’t really address why this story sucks. It’s not only that it’s extremely confusing, but it’s also as if there are certain switches Key threw in there to evoke certain emotions from people. At times it was like they wanted you to laugh but I wasn’t laughing. Other times it was like they wanted me to be sad but who would shed manri tears for a show like this. Maybe I’m just a bad person(ahahahaha yea right)? So almost always my Key switches were off, I mean there were a couple times where my switches were half on mostly leaning towards the comedy side and especially when said scene involved a certain TK. But other than that I just felt myself waiting for time to pass and the next episode to air. I can say that towards the end the story seems to finally go at a decent pace and at least develop into something mediocre. Not to give any spoilers it’s not that the ending was good or bad per say just that it wasn’t as terrible as I thought it could be. Still it could not save itself from the atomic remains of what occurred before it. To be honest I was leaning towards giving this one a 6 (which was written down when I was drunk and writing this) but now I’ll change it to a slightly more appealing 7/10.
Characters 6/10
I wish I could slightly save the characters the same way I saved the story (tbh nobody could completely save that story). Unfortunately, if you thought the story was all over the place with its convoluted ideas then the characters were fucking all around the world in 13 episodes. We just had a shitload of characters... scratch that a fuckton. As a result some were ok, a lot bad and the rest were just plain negligible. For the sake of my review (laziness) and not having to recall all the painful memories I had with the cast (excuses) I will only mention a couple that stuck out for me (bias). Ah first and foremost my favourite character TK. Hell he’s the only reason you should stick around for this. He’s by far the best and most underrated character in this series. Poor bastard only gets like what 2-3 lines per episode and that’s if he’s lucky. Also his Engrish really impressed me, and I found myself pumped every time he said that vintage anime line “Get Chance and Luck”. His dancing moves were just so fresh, if all weaboos were like TK just imagine how great the world would be. The next noticeable character is our traditional punk/yankii character Noda(had to search it up). He really talks like a yankii(which is awesome) but unfortunately, that’s all he can do, talk. I think it’s supposed to be for some sort of comedic effect, but every time he tries to act like a badass he fails. I almost feel sorry for him he has all the negatives of a delinquent (rude, loud mouthed, somewhat an idiot) but none of the benefits (i.e the ass kicking elements). I mean just imagine you’re watching GTO and Onizuka couldn’t kick anyone’s ass, what we’d get is a train wreck (Otonashi no!!!!) and that’s essentially what his character is, a real mess. I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be the lancer (though the main character seems to have enough gigolo’s to satisfy his exotic needs) or just deadweight like the rest of cast. No in fact I pity you, I pity that your character was wasted on Key’s works. Had you have been featured in another anime/manga much more manri you may have made a name for yourself. OK now those of you who are still reading my review must be furious by now, I haven’t talked about any of your favourite characters. Well if I did I could easily keep this going for 10+ pages of rants and complaints. But I have an obligation to at least comment (complain) about what I dubbed this show’s “holy trinity”. Otonashi-Kanade-Yuri. You really can’t discuss (hate) this show without mentioning these 3 characters (at least not effectively). Well, where do I start? We have so much to discuss. Should we start with Otonashi’s generic pseudo defender of justice image, self-righteous tendencies or poor taste in women? Hmm how about all of them at once, well ok then, sure why not. First of all Otonashi, donating your rotten organs right before your death doesn’t make you a hero. Also it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, it’s like in your mind you’re always the hero. You could be working with the evil (subjective) emotionless force that’s been plotting against you for the majority of the show but still somehow end up being justice’s crusader and falling in love at the same time. It wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t take yourself so goddamn serious. But you always do always serious fucking business with you. It’s like you feel if you don’t help the people get obliterated they might die or something. Oh no wait it’s the opposite they will disappear if you obliterate them. Also what kind of man leaves all the fighting to the women; I’ll tell you a pussy (you’ll have to excuse my french). Otonashi is definitely the meddling father in this trinity. Next we have Yuri. Hmm whenever I see her I think about a show I saw several years ago, with almost the exact same character except executed in a better way. The name escapes me… I think the main character’s name started with an H( Google Letter H Japanese) so we’ll just abbreviate it to that. Yes indeed Yuri would be much better if she followed H’s example. Don’t ask me why that is but I tend to like titles involving women with H’s in them better than those that don’t have said H. I guess she would be the unholy spirit. Now this last one really bites my ass, and not like some cheap prostitute but more like an overpriced one that doesn’t know its place. Kanade, this character was completely emotionless and not in the badass stoic Kenshiro way but more like I’m getting raped but don’t care type of way. However, for some strange (predictable) reason she’s the most powerful person on the show. I mean who would suspect that the emo girl would end up being the strongest!? I was completely shocked, like honestly it catches me off guard in the same way a romance begins to develop in a shojo title. But she isn’t just strong, she’s inexplicably strong no she just goes ninja shit on all the other characters, abilities come out of her ass all while maintaining that composure. It gets even better when they customize her and turn her into her own Wing zero custom (minus buster canons). Did I mention I really love angel beats characters? In this trinity she’s the son…er daughter for obvious heart sharing reasons.
Enjoyment/Overall 6/10
While I did enjoy writing this review the actual show itself was not as enjoyable. In fact I would almost be inclined to say that I forced myself to watch it just so that I could write this review (precognition). It’s almost as if I was destined to write about this show. That being said I made several points in my notebook that I did not mention in my review. This is obviously though to me surpassing the 2,000 word point (we did it guys!) but mostly because of once again laziness. Also I feel that by now I may have angered enough fans who actually read this entire review, so not much more needs to be said. This is review is probably off base, I mean the anime community doesn’t really like to things in shades of gray (myself included) most people are always on one side of the extreme or the other. Unfortunately, it just so happened that the extreme (minority) of fans I represent dislike shows like Angel beats in general. Every time I tried to get into the show, it’s almost as if the creators were determined to throw me off the horse. Take Yui for example a character I conveniently missed out in commentaries, completely annoying and un-necessary but said character is also completely loli. This means she not only gets her own romantic sub-plot she also gets an entire episode dedicated to developing her character. From the massive amount of characters to choose from why did it have to be her? Is Key/Maeda trying to show me that whatever I think I may like about this show isn’t going to be touched upon further. But I feel I’ve daunted and rambled on too much about this show.
