Hagio Moto herself said that while in the works, she was pondering how it’s possible for mothers to know of the sexual abuse their kid has been subjected to and despite that, do nothing and ignore this in favor of keeping their family intact. This mindset gave birth to this epic story. While not for the faint-hearted, this story expands into something much more than what you would originally expect; it is an introspective and poignant story of recovery, atonement and redemption, which denotes the characters’ dilemmas, traumas and feelings in an incredibly human and emotional way.
The characters are are no doubt one of the most excellent aspects of the manga. First off, we have Jeremy, the highschooler who becomes the victim of sexual abuse. Jeremy’s despair is displayed in excruciating detail; he is willing to go through any kind of horrible torture to avoid his mother finding out about this abuse. His fear of rejection and indifference from his own mother is what seals his lips from speaking out, thus perpetuating his ordeal. Jeremy’s fragile mental health gradually deteriorates, getting to the point of contemplating murder simply to escape from the bottomless despair, shame and helplessness he feels. The cruel irony of enduring his sexual abuse for the sake of his mother, and the fact that he gained his freedom with her accidental murder is a heartbreaking and intriguing theme that is explored frequently throughout the manga.
Secondly, we have Greg. Greg is the stepfather who abuses Jeremy. He is a manipulative, twisted man with pedophilic and sadistic tendencies. He not only violates Jeremy, but he also tampers with his mind, buying his silence in the process. Greg puts on the facade of the model husband and parent, not raising any suspicion whatsoever to those around him. It’s terrifying because it’s realistic.
Sandra is Jeremy’s mom, recently married to Greg. A woman of fragile physical and mental condition, Sandra is extremely happy about her marriage; due to the depression she felt after her late husband’s (Jeremy’s father’s) death, she latches onto Greg and idealizes him and the family she wishes to build. Lost inside her own fantasies, she misses what has been going on under her nose.
Lastly, we have Ian, the second main character. He is the son of Greg, and Jeremy’s step brother. Ian has some clues that Jeremy killed his own father, which makes him discover his father’s disposition and Jeremy’s cruel abuse at his hands. Ian seems like the typical good looking playboy, but in fact he is a boy with a soft heart, who is sensible and tries to help Jeremy at every turn, before and after the murder. He feels guilty for his ignorance over what happened to Jeremy, and perplexed after realizing that the ideal father he believed in was a lie. Torn between the moral dilemma of punishing a criminal and his sympathy for Jeremy, he ends up falling in love with him. The love he feels for Jeremy is passionate, motivating Ian to help and support Jeremy, but also making him wonder if he shares his father’s proclivities. Due to all these tumultuous emotions, he makes extremely tragic and glaring mistakes. However you can’t hate him because he always tries to improve himself, questioning his own selfish behavior, owning up to his mistakes and challenging his beliefs.
Undoubtedly, the best part of the story is the astonishing psychology the author has employed in every page of the manga. Each character’s emotions, doubts, dilemmas and feelings are intensely palpable to the reader and highlighted by the hauntingly poignant art and dialogue. The characters’ inner world is carefully constructed in layers upon layers. A recurring theme is the vicious cycle of how parents’ traumas influence their parenting, thus traumatizing their children, whose traumas in turn influence their personal choices and those around them. For sure, no one is perfect; just as in reality, the characters make mistakes, they repeatedly wound themselves, hurt others, make progress and then regress. It is frustrating, but that’s how life is. In trying to forget our pain, we make mistakes and sometimes hurt ourselves or others along the way.
If you decide to give this a try, then get ready to shed a few tears along the way. The author manages to expertly convey her intentions and put you through an emotional turmoil. The story will make you angry, hopeful, sad, frustrated and optimistic at various different moments. If you want to read a realistic, moving and suspenseful story with fleshed out characters, then this is definitely a series will stay with you for a long time after reading.
