I'm going to be honest, this was definitely not what I was expecting. This was raw, this was honest, this was realistic, and this h u r t. I'm going to tell you straight up: this is not what you are expecting. This WILL surprise you, and perhaps not in the best ways. All that being said, let's get into the specifics.
If you're here, it's likely that you're at least somewhat of a yaoi fan-- fujioshi, fudanshi, whatever be the case. I don't expect to see many yaoi newbies over here. However, there are ways in which this would be a good thing for non-yaoi fans to read. In fact, if you're into seme-uke dynamics and predictably sappy storylines with more than their fair share of sexual assault and other nonconsensual acts, this is not your cup of tea. This story is painstakingly adult and it is unapologetic being as heartbreaking as it is. It's a story of the real world: homophobia, societal expectations, the temptation to just "be straight", forget about love, get married and settle down... it details the choices that adults have to make. It's not longer just about a cute love story where the only things the main characters have to fight against is their refusal to admit whether or not they like each other. It's a butterfly effect and the way even choices like who you fall in love with can fundamentally change many people's lives.
I have to be honest, the story and characters consistently made me want to bang my head on a wall. Every character is layered and deep. None of them are perfect. They are essentially all flawed, selfish, terrible people. But aren't we all? It was fascinating to watch characters that were essentially toxic and harmful to eachother to twist themselves up in this dark romance that doesn't sit right for anyone. It's so fragile, so twisted: their problems only continue to pile up and no matter what they do, it only leads to more insecurity and depravity than it did before.
I think I've ranted enough. Overall, without spoiling anything, all I can say is that the story and characters are all the most I've seen in any yaoi (or romance, now that I think about it) and the author does a great job of exploring the ambiguity of human morality.
As for the art, I'm very pleased with it. I was expecting the classic "seme and uke chins", among other things. I was happy that both of the main characters looked like actual men and roughly equal in stature as well. It leveled the playing field between them. It focused less on the fact that one of them was a 'forceful alpha male' and more about the pitfalls of their relationship with each other.
Why did I rate this an 8? I'm going to be honest, this usually isn't my cup of tea. I read this purely because it was recommended to me and no other reason. I do indulge in yaoi here and there, but romance saturated works without any humor or subplots just don't appeal to me very much across the board. There is nothing wrong with the work to explicitly deserve the points off, but it's more of a personal issue. :)
I would recommend this if you like: realistic works, reading about adult problems, romance-centered things, toxic relationships, mutual tragedy, this is the end of all the endings, love so deep you feel like you're drowning and hurting yourself, like bittersweet things
I would NOT recommend this if you: are here for seme-uke yaoi, want something light-hearted and cute, are expecting a completely happy ending, don't like romance-centered things
Have a great day everyone!
